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lancermylove · 4 years ago

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Threatened Reader 2 (HC)

*** These headcannons will make more sense after you read part 1. ***

Fandom: BSTS

Pairing: Kei x Reader, Rindou x Reader, Mokuren x Reader, Kokuyou x Reader, Mizuki x Reader

Warning: Kinda angsty. Mention of attempted suicide, violence, lost of a loved one

Requested by: @mokuchan

Prompt: You didnt get my question?- oop okay- I'll explain it again, but you dont need to do this- So I wanted you to make a part 2 on the threatened reader hc like the s/o comes back as a ghost comforted all the leaders? Their S/o comforting them and saying not to die with her..Its just so sad that I now Want a happy ending well You dont need to because it aint my request! if you do this, please take your time- you have lots of other requests, if you dont I understand you to the max XD :)

A/N: Well, these are exactly happy, but they’re lighter than the ones I wrote before. I may build up on part 2 and do a part 3 which would most likely be happier. XD

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Kei

Kei slowly opened his eyes and scanned the grounds, taking in the rain and the remains of your murderer.

He had held the gun at point-blank, so why, why was he still alive?

Please, don't do this. He heard a familiar and gentle whisper in his ear. Please, Kei.

Was his mind playing tricks on him? His heart yearned to hear that sweet voice again, but he knew that was impossible, so why did it feel so real?

Kei buried his face in his hands, still holding onto his gun. Stop hurting yourself.

His muscles tensed up when he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. He knew that touch all too well; that warm, loving touch that had the power to melt his heart.

I will not let you throw your life away.

Kei desperately tried to pry his hands away from his face, but an unknown force prevented him from doing so.

Stop blaming yourself for my death. You are not responsible for what happened.

Kei felt a lump in his throat, "I c-couldn't protect you."

Please stop! Kei, I...I w-want you to be happy. You have to live for both of us.

"I can't...not without you." His deep voice cracked, and his shoulders trembled.

Who says I'm not with you? Just because you can't see me doesn't mean I'm not by your side. A soft chuckle filled his ears, causing a fragile smile to appear on his pale lips. You've always been my guardian angel, and now, I promise to be your guardian angel.

The unseen hold on Kei loosened as a distant voice echoed, promise me that you will live...for me.

Removing his hands from his face, Kei once again scanned the empty grounds. A ray of light shone from between the dark clouds, illuminating his exhausted face.

Kei closed his eyes and fell to his knees, allowing the months of suppressed pain to escape down his cheeks. "I-I promise to live...for us."

Rindou

Rindou.

He heard his name once again but ignored it as he continued to press his knees closer to his chest, rocking back and forth.

Rindou. Can you hear me?

Rindou pressed the palms of his hands on his ears, tears clouding his dull eyes.

He felt a warm hand of his back but brushed it off as his imagination.

The sweet voice once again called out to him, but this time the voice came from behind him. Rindou, I know you can hear me.

He violently shook his head and buried his face in his knees.

A pair of arms enveloped him in a warm embrace. Everything is going to be alright. You are not at fault.

A sob escaped Rindou's lips, but the voice continued. You need to stop blaming yourself.

"B-But, I...the gunshot..."

Please, bring my old Rin back. I miss him very much.

"I don't want," he spoke in a pained voice, "to live without you."

Your friends need you; moreover, your sister needs you. You cannot continue like this. Don't give up!

Rindou slowly lifted his head, his eyes scanning his surroundings. He tried to find the source of the voice in vain.

I will be waiting for you, my love, but I'm in no hurry. Rin, live your life, and always be happy.

He wiped his tears as a smile found it's way onto his lips. His once lifeless eyes now held a slight glimpse of hope.

Kokuyou

Kokuyou closed his heavy eyelids, exhausted from spending his entire day hiding from the voice in his head. The same voice that blamed him for everything and told him he was incapable of protecting anyone.

He expected yet another nightmare to disturb his sleep, but instead of horrifying images, he saw white. Nothing but white.

Kokuyou?

He snapped his head in the direction of the voice but didn't see anything.

Do you have any idea how long I've been trying to reach you?

"Who the hell are you?" The redheaded man balled up his fist, ready to attack.

Don't you recognize my voice? Here you go once again, getting angry at everything.

His fists uncurled as he stared in disbelief in the direction of the voice, "You...are...impossible."

I miss the old Kokuyou, my old Kokuyou. The voice grew quiet for a few seconds. I-You know this isn't your fault, right?

He let out an audible tsk before turning his back and walking in the opposite direction. "I'm going crazy," he mumbled but stopped when he felt a pair of warm arms enfolded him from behind.

I don't blame you for what happened, i-it was my fault for not telling you. Kokuyou, please stop torturing yourself. The grip around him got tighter. He looked down at his waist but saw nothing, yet he could feel the presence.

Go back to your old life; your friends and enemies, alike, are waiting for you to return. They miss you.

"Shut up. I don't care about them...I don't care about anyone." Kokuyou shut his eyes and clenched his teeth.

Wrong. You are afraid to lose them, aren't you? Open your eyes and see how much you're worrying them.

"I..." He bit down on his lower lip and held back his tears. Part of him hated how weak he felt, but the other part wanted him to let loose the emotions that were holding him back.

Kokuyou, open your heart again. Please. Also, I've one request but think of it as my last wish. He spun around when he felt the presence slowly fading. My last wish is for you to find love again.

Kokuyou opened his eyes and sat up in bed, looking around his room. He placed his hand on his forehead, "Find love again? You make it sound easy." A bitter smile appeared on his lips as silent tears streamed down his face.

Mokuren

Mokuren had been dancing for hours, ignoring all the warnings his body and mind gave. All he remembered was his vision turning black as he hit the floor in his apartment.

Mokuren! Hearing a kind voice calling out to him, he slowly opened his eyes only to shield them from the intense light.

"Where?" He whispered as his eyes adjusted to the bright surroundings.

Much to his shock, Mokuren was standing on water. He turned his head in all directions but could only see water.

Mokuren. The voice was closer to him than before, so close that he could feel a shiver run down his spine.

"You are..." he held his hand out, only to feel a warm hand touch his cold ones.

Moku, I haven't gone anywhere; I'm still here with you. You haven't lost anything.

"Princess?" Though he wanted to say more, the words refuse to come out.

Do you have any idea how worried your teammates are, especially Qu? I am sorry for giving you so much pain, but please, don't hurt yourself like this.

Mokuren lowered his eyes and pressed his lips into a thin line.

Dancing has always been your passion, so why are you using it to vent your pain? My dear prince, you keep saying that dancing is all you have, but that's far from the truth. You have friends that care for you; friends that are willing to do anything to help you, so stop this madness.

Mokuren's vision once again started to blacken. He heard the soft voice speak one last time. Find happiness, my love, for yourself, your friends...and for me.

He slowly woke up to find himself in the hospital. He looked around the room to find his teammates sound asleep. Mokuren quickly wiped the tears rushing down his cheeks, but no matter how hard he tried, they refuse to stop falling.

Mizuki

Mizuki grabbed the man by his collar and punched his face, "The hell didja say?" Just as he was about to break the man's nose, he saw a familiar face appear before his eyes.

The young boy's eyes widened as he quickly released the man and took a step back, losing his balance.

Mizuki felt his blood run cold as the long lost voice echoed in his mind. It's your fault. He grabbed his hair and shook his head in an attempt to stop suppress the annoying voice.

Mizuki, snap out of it! The boy moved his head side-to-side, horrified by the disembodied voice. What have you turned into?

"Y-you can't be. I'm going crazy."

No, you are not! I hate what you've become. What did you do to my troublesome, food-loving boy?

"Shuddup, shuddup, shuddup!" Mizuki jumped to his feet and punched a nearby wall. "I can do whatever the hell I want."

Mizuki, in your current condition, you are no different from the fangirl who killed me.

Those words hit him hard. He felt his stomach twist as he once again remembered the dreadful scene. As each second passed, he found it harder to breathe.

The people you've killed have loved ones that are suffering, just the way you once suffered after seeing me die. This is not who you are.

"Sh-Shud-dup." Mizuki leaned against the wall for support as he felt his knees weaken. The images of the people he killed flashed before his eyes, causing his body to tremble. The walls he had built around his heart began to crumble as a piercing cry escaped his lips.

Mizuki, please return to the world you came from. You can't stay in this dark world anymore.

"I c-can't," he spoke between heavy sobs, "t-they ha-hate me."

No, they don't. In fact, they're waiting for you. Your Kokuyou nii-chan, your teammates, even the other teams all want you back. Go, Mizuki.

The young boy swiftly wiped his tears, jumped to his feet, and raced towards his home with newfound hope in his heart.

#bsts #blackstar theater starless #bsts kei #bsts kokuyou #bsts mizuki #bsts rindou #bsts mokuren

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spirit-shroud · 4 years ago

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i replayed kz again tonight and managed to beat it in 4 hrs instead of 11 !!! which is rly cool imo, i think i got a max of like 50 deaths or less for the full run ??? i was just playing regularly but usin the prism blade for the cool blood effects, not in speedrun mode for the counter, and i managed 2 drag my friend into hyperfixation hell with me :} but also i have some thoughts and opinions im not rly sure how to compile in a meaningful way, so here’s the like. pure brain-down-on-blog post version under the cut. if this gets auto-tagged into the real actual tag for this game im very sorry for my hubris im just. thinking emoji

so id like to start this with the final boss makes me SO sad :( like yeah she doesnt have much dialogue but idk she just makes me so sad. she’s so desperate and she Knows shes going to lose and im just like. no!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you’re so cool!!!!!!! Please Be My Friend We Can Work Together. I Know A Guy :c like usually final bosses are like weirdly emotional for me but she was just SO COOL and realizing like WAIT THIS BOSS OPERATES UNDER THE SAME RULES I DO was just like WOW even if as i kept dying (and i think i spent like... 3 hrs on the final boss alone lmao the first time, i killed her on my third attempt this run which was very cool of me) i finally realized that she IS pretty repetitive and got all her patterns n variables down super easy, but like, fighting another null who Should for all intents and purposes be just as absurd and powerful as i am, and eventually being able to down her effortlessly, and then the withdrawal affects of the chronos kicking in as well, and its just like. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

dont even get me STARTED on that ‘to be continued’ like yeah there’s a dlc comin but the game mentions repeatedly that its just the first act which has me like OKAY. SPECULATION TIME (what am i speculating on? literally no idea im not even rly at the speculation phase im still in the WOW COOL VIDEO GAME phase)

and i rly like the dragon/fifteen but the first time i saw him i was just like. who’s this f*llmetal alchemist looking bitch ??? what’s he doin here?? go HOME and controlling him is AWFUL i hate the dragon tape so MUCH >:C but also he’s like. cool. i want to know more about him n his plot 2 take down Juncture n the government n whatever.

but also i was listen 2 Full Confession bc it’s just. what the heart wants rn. i need to be sad and caffeinated in order to get into the Writing Zone rn and then i was THINKIN like my friend mentioned while we were playing the dragon tape that the song that plays is very similar to Full Confession (which i had sent him earlier while i was losing my mind over the final boss) and then i was like. Hm. these are very similar but have such wildly different moods -- Breath of the Serpent is much more like. ‘you’re going to be afraid of me’ while Full Confession is like ‘i’m afraid of you’ and i think that the different Vibes from these two soundtrack bits about important Null characters is just like. WOW and i wonder how a version of it that was purely Zero’s might be. would it be more triumphant? more flat? what desperation or emptiness is in there that could be drawn out by this melody??? i dont KNOW and i can’t write music unfortunately but im just like AAAAAAAAAA

i also rly wanna know what snow has going on ??? like. shes clearly important. she is a vital npc. but Why. she didnt even rly do anything except Show Up???

fuck V. all my homies hate V. the motorcycle fight was a lot of fun tho i rly liked that section even if my therapist was mad at me afterwards

also i think elizabeth/the little girl is rly cute and the fact zero was just like. ‘hm. well guess i have a daughter now’ so fast w/ her (at least, with the dialogue trees me n my pal kept going down) and im just. So Hoping we can rescue her in the dlc :( i miss her so much and im so like. worried abt that like pls give me back my daughter you dumbasses i cant even read ur dialogue without my brain being like ‘yeah these r just squiggly lines, boss. gl’

i also want to believe that the masked men arent real (bc idk, it’s just easier for me to process that they’re the result of chronos withdrawal) but the problem w/ that is like. they definitely kidnapped elizabeth, and i want so desperately to believe that elizabeth IS real n that zero genuinely wants to protect her (and by extension, the part of himself that is still human)

ALSO THE PSYCHIATRIST i was just like. Okay. I Must Get A Good Grade In Therapy. n kept being nice n cooperative and helpful to this clown ass and then THAT ENDING ??? like i didnt even get the Bad Therapist Ending i was just like. fucka you! attacka you with a rock! (i do however want to try the therapist boss it sounds like a lot of fun) but i just. i hate him! he sucks! find a better therapist zero u rly need one im sorry for ur problems disorder :( like hes clearly a guy who just works for the government n wants 2 keep a leash on our man

n the contradictions, hes like. yeah ur killing everyone related to chronos so it can no longer be produced ♥ but dw ur special we totally wont just withhold chronos from you as soon as u finish ur tasks dw about it ♥ and its like. Hm. I Dont Think Thats Right !!!!

also i wanna learn more about what Juncture has going on??? what are they like. Doing besides poisoning water n making lighters ?????? it’s clearly a lot

also the art for this game is just so GOOD,,, like. i didnt rly notice a lot of the backgrounds my first playthrough bc i was just losing my mind the whole time trying to solve each puzzle but the second playthrough im just like. AAAAA. and the soundtrack? effervescent. groundbreaking. perfect. So Good

and the GAMEPLAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my GOD i was SO vibing with it, the difficulty curve was kinda extreme imo but as soon as i started like. Getting It? and started looking at each room less like combat/fighting and more like a puzzle that needed to be solved it made it so much easier 2 get into the headphase of ‘okay how do i clear this’ and it was just like. YOOOOOOOO

and zero is just a lot of fun 2 play as. legitimately everything about him is just so ridiculous. his dialogue options? ridiculous. his design? absurd. the implications that hes like. 22 and just having the worst 10 days of his life? mood, buddy. this guy likes samurai movies and card games and mushroom pizza and has worn the same outfit every single day for who knows how long and hes also a war veteran, an emotionless serial killer and a drug addict. and hes 22 and 5′10. literally NOTHING about those traits make sense together but here he is, just Vibing.

i love him so much. im going to make a self insert oc that’s just giving him a friend who knows how to cook n is just like ‘oh wow, that’s rough buddy’ when hes like ‘i only feel alive when i kill people’ and conveniently knows how 2 get bloodstains out of things bc i think he needs that kind of person in his life since his like. therapist is conspiring against him n he keeps having 2 kill his friends

also, unfortunately, i want to get every achievement, which i feel like is going to become hld....2!! where i get all but 1 of them and am stuck at 96% for 2+ years >:T

#kc chirps #hello gamers i am vibrating! very vibrating. losing my marbles at this 420am on a thursday

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taehyungsgrowl · 4 years ago

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SFW Alphabet for Nate

I think I did it wrong last time bc I was waiting for people to send me letters when I was just supposed to go down the list. But I’m a dummy so disregard half of what I say.

i hope you guys like them and thank you virgo anon for the input w these 🥺i love our baby 🥺

Here we go:

A- Activity (What is their favorite activity to do with you.)

-- i think he likes doing new things w you. and i know that sounds cliche BUT hear me out. duncan is a bit of a home body 🥺loves to be curled up w reader sharing kissies and cuddling. nate enjoys that too but i think trying new adventures w you is his favorite. i can see him being the type to like hiking dates!! (also lets not forget the tik tok videos you guys make together )

B- Beginnings (How do they act in the beginning of a relationship)

-- considering the beginning did start off as something kinda casual between him and reader, he kept it as such. but he’s such a natural charmer that even when he’s not trying, he just comes across as super sweet. they’d finish hooking up and he’d offer her to stay over or get them food (not bc he felt like he needed to but it’s just the kinda guy he is) i think he probably let his goofy side out right at the beginning as well. its what helped y/n open up to him and feel at ease w him 🥺

C- Communication (Are they good communicators? How do they normally talk about their problems or solve issues)

-- big sigh. nate? was the KING of communication!! hell! he was able to talk to duncan (who ISNT the best at communicating) when they weren’t even friends and helped him talk to dumb!reader. plus he’d always been open about his feelings. told y/n right away when he knew he was in love. (i only say he WAS bc he should have told y/n he was struggling before he ended up in the hospital 🥺)

D- Drunk (What are they like when they’re drunk)

-- koala bear cuddly drunk!! not just between him and reader! but he will love on anyone! (omg.. you know dunc was a little 😳when drunk!bro!nate started hugging him... hiding his face in duncs neck... telling he smells good... telling him how much he loves him... bros 👯‍♂️)

E- Emergency (How are they in emergency situations? You get hurt, they get hurt, someone is dying etc..)

— oh god. nate is the type to keep cool and collected in an emergency - even if he were the one having an emergency 🥺 like if reader would’ve been w him during his car accident, she would have been worried sick over him and he’d just be like, “hey, look at me. i’m okay, yeah? a lot stronger than i look, babe.” even if it hurt like hell because he doesn’t wanna worry her. if you were in an emergency or got hurt, he’d go into sexy doctor mode. “tell me where it hurts.” squeezing your hand to reassure you, “i got you.” also kissies where it hurts 🥺 and he’s such a good listener too wow we have no choice but to simp.

F- Free Spot (I’ll give you any headcanon I come up with)

-- i’m just gonna share one head canon that virgo anon tossed at me that really made me 🥺 baby nate 🥺 and how when he was younger he was always a nice boy 🥺 but wasnt the popular or “hot” one until he grew into himself in college 🥺 when he got maxie and it helped him manage his stress enough to be able to make connections 🥺y’all when she said that it made me heart 🥺 my sweet boy

G- Gifts (What kind of gifts do they give? What kind of gifts do they get?)

-- i think his gifts are rarely “over the top” but !! they’re simple and personalized!!! like a lil necklace w his initials / name 🥺or maybe he has someone make a picture of you two into an animation? like have someone draw you guys (do u know what im talking about?) as far as gifts for him, he enjoys like “interactive gifts” like sending him on a lil scavenger hunt (nate loves setting them up for you too 🥺) but if you set one up for HIM? god! he’d love you!

H- Hugs (How do they show affection/cuddle)

-- nate loves! loves! to give forehead kissies (not just because he’s tall fjhsjh) and being hugged (or picked up) in his strong arms!! loves it!! he loves being the big spoon 🥺i love him.

I- Irritation (What is something that irritates them? How do they show their irritation?)

-- that reader continues to choose duncan over him fkjsvsfkv he wears his heart on his sleeve so i think when nate is upset or irritated... you know.

J- Jackpot (How would they spend their winnings if they won the lottery?)

-- does nate have more $ than the shepherds? debatable. but he isn’t as... flashy w his money as duncan is. he’s a little more down to earth if that makes sense. BUT thats besides the point. he’d probably donate a lot to a charity of his choice than take you on a little get away. maybe a cross country road trip 🥺 or off to an island getaway. he’s flexible.

K- Kryptonite (What is their ultimate weakness?)

-- virgo anon made me 🥺when we were talking about this bc nate would do anything for the people he loves and 🥺that gets him hurt. especially when he feels like those people dont love him in the way he does them 🥺

L- Laughter (What makes them laugh?)

-- clown!! nate is the guy that always keeps you laughing 🥺and most times he cant even contain his own laughter omg i will cry im in love with one man

M- Morning ( How do they wake up in the morning? Are they a morning person or a morning grouch?)

-- he’s a morning person 🥺 likes to start off his morning with a run and protein shake SMH fitness KING.

N- Needy (When do they feel particularly needy? How do they show it?)

-- he’s so used to being the one who’s needed 🥺 it takes him a while to be comfy being vulnerable and needy. idk if there’s anything in particular that sets him off to be like this - but i’d like to think it happens at random. like youre on the couch and he just nuzzles his face on your tummy for you to pet his hair. he demonstrates it by wanting to be close to you 🥺

O- Oasis (Where is their happy place? Where would they go if they didn’t have anything holding them back?)

-- i think he’d be the kinda guy that enjoys the sun (not just bc he looks hot, shirtless on a beach) but yes. somewhere nice and sunny where he could have maxie w him 🥺if he could stay on the beach where he started falling for dumb!reader (with her) for ever he would 🥺

P- Pain (How do they handle pain? How do they handle when you are in pain?)

-- emotional or physical? jfgksjdgsdk but no i think if he’s well regulated, he can handle pain well - it’s when he’s not that it’s a problem (w emotional pain) he stops taking care of himself the way he should and really spirals into his head a lot you know 🥺i think he can handle others being in pain better than himself bc he loves a lot and its easier to focus his attention on trying to fix things for them (like we said his biggest weakness is doing too much for those he loves)

Q- Quote (What’s a quote that fits them and your relationship)

-- “loving is easy” fjskfsf not to be too corny but 🥺being w nate was easy... always on the same page.. and made her feel good. 🥺

R- Reunion (How do they celebrate seeing you after a long time of being apart)

-- lots!!! of kissies!! picking you up!! holding you close!!! physical touch is pretty high on his love language list i think 🥺(i think quality time or acts of service might be his top two though)

S- Stress (What stresses them out? How do deal with stress and how do they relieve it?)

-- i generally think duncan is more of a control freak than nate, but i do think to some extent, they’re similar that when things feel out of their control, it really stresses them out. i think it manifests at different times. i think for duncan its more trivial things whereas w nate, if he feels like he could be doing something to “fix” something and he cant do anything it freaks him out. hes a healer, you know. i think working out is a big stress reliever for him 🥺my strong baby!! that and goofing off w reader 🥺

T- Terror (What are they afraid of?)

-- this kinda ties into his weakness (and could be amplified by his younger years) but he’s afraid of not really being enough for those he loves. especially if he was teased as a kid 🥺maybe thats why in a lot of his nightmares the theme of abandonment appears a lot 🥺i made myself SAD 🥺

U- Unique (What is a quirk that is unique to them?)

-- i asked virgo anon for help on this one 🥺and i love her so much 🥺 nate tugs on his hair when he’s nervous 🥺 he gets a lil annoyed after he buzzes it off and doesnt have much to pull on 🥺he likes to hold hands when spooning. loves to sing along to disney movies (but lets be honest, he’s the real prince KING)

V- Violence (Do they fight a lot? Are they a good fighter? What is their fighting style?)

-- well... idk if it’s fair to say he fights a lot because he tries not to resort to that - especially grad school nate. mostly because he knows he’s good at fighting. omfg... boxer!nate.... may have all my rights. and he doesn’t really wanna hurt anyone. BUT if needed!!! he will throw down. (ex. when dunc wouldnt let y/n leave the house. and then attacked him!! nate had to stand his ground 😌

W- Wow (What do you do that really surprises them? What do you do that they really like?)

-- idk i think nate was probably really surprised when reader gave him that second chance at friendship in the bathroom 🥺didnt think she would. on a lighter note, surprising him w fresh cooked meals always make him 🥺because... he’s trying but hasnt mastered the cooking thing yet.

X- (Explicit headcanon. For all you degenerates)

-- he’s uhh packing 😳and it hits all the right spots, you know 😳omfg and lets not forget the dickscussion we had about his head game being stronger than duncans 😌

Y- Yucky (Is there something that grosses them out so badly that they can’t deal with it?)

-- i wasnt sure what really grossed out medical professionals (if anything djsfs) but we kinda head canon for him to be into family / pediatric medicine so anything w LOTS of blood loss probably freaks him out

Z- ZZZ’s (What are their sleeping habits? Both with and without you)

-- my baby. nate has really bad night terrors especially on bad(tm) days. it usually helps to have someone w him to be able to keep him calm when he wakes up 🥺if its not y/n you can bet maxie will be there for tons of kissies. he’s a sleep talker 🥺and when sleeping w you he loves being big spoon 🥺and when he’s alone, he kinda sleeps curled up and w a lot of pillows. comfort KING

#nate #dumb!reader #nate x dumb!reader #duncan x dumb!reader x nate #duncan shepherd

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mydayy · 5 years ago

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My Starry Sky | Part 10 |

Paring: Lee Seunghwa x Reader x Hong Dabin

feat. Christian Yu

Summary: They say time apart makes the heart grow fonder but is that really the case after years of miscommunication and silence. You encounter one another again in a unexpected way and many different situations arise.

< Precious | Next >

Her skin was sun kissed by the rays that beamed through the glass window. Painting her sleeping features in a golden tone. The sudden change of light caused her eyes to flicker. The sensation seemed to make her tussle and sway. Her face was filled in her hands. The frizzle of her hair set a rather awkward smile on her face. She swayed the hair away that covered her cheeks as she greeted the day with a soft smile and a long yawn. It was her chaos that made her beautiful.

Gathering up the clothes for the day, she made her way over to the bathroom. The sound of the running water filled the room. And as she stepped in, she shuttered at the feeling of the cold titled floor. Letting it run down she stayed still under the flow of the water. She brushed away her wet hair from her features. Her hair and body were filled with a soft liquid. The sensation of a soft foam caressed down her body as she washed it away off her skin and hair. She standed in a pool of bubbly filled water as she continued to washes away the lingering doubts and thoughts that clouded her heart, mind, body and soul.

After taking a shower she did her routinely morning necessaries like brushing her teeth and combing hair. And washing her face and applying coats of cream and sunscreen. The soft touch of her skin met with the cool thick techture of her clothes. She dressed up in a light blue pair of jeans and a yellow T-shirt. She wore a long grey coat that would keep her warm outside. She wore some plain white sneakers and a hat a lighter hue of yellow than her shirt. In incontrast to her shoes, she wore dark colored socks. Her hair was left down. Her makeup was simple, a natural look, and she wore a light redish hue for her lips, as she carried a white crossbody bag that held her wallet, and keys. As she kept her phone in her coat pocket.

Making her way into the kitchen she prepared a lunch box with his favorite foods as she looked up she was greeted with a women’s chuckle and gently greeting.

‘All dressed up, what’s the special occasion?’

“Ah mother~”

‘I’m just saying, it looks good on you.’

“Thanks.”

‘So where are you headed? All dressed up prettily, my dearling daughter?’

‘It’s getting on my nerves my daughter is not getting enough days off. Why do they want to work my daughter to the ground. Please give them my greetings.’

“Calm down I’m not being overworked I’m just heading out to meet up with the guys.”

‘So you going out all day, want me to pick him up from school later?’

“Ah no I’ll come pick him up later, don’t worry mother. I’ll see you then.”

“Ah right, I packed his lunch, please give it to him.”

‘Don’t be late.’

“I won’t.”

‘Later my darling daughter.’

“See you, mother.”

‘Have a nice day.’

“Thanks, you too.”

Walking out of the door she was meet with the breeze of the outdoors, and the sweet smell of the blooming flowers. Looking up at the sky she smiled, and gently pushed away stray hairs out of her face. She took a step forward, and she was greeted with the familiarity of a memory. The smile she carried lingered as she looked upon the familiarity of a silhouette that stood infront of her. The breeze turned crisp as the leaves of the tree fell. The sounds of the cicadas chirped, inhabited the once silence.

It was you.

It was me.

It was the silence underneath the stars that understood my beating and racing heart.

You told me nothing.

And i believed everything.

In that moment, I found life.

In that moment, I found you.

Under the same starry sky.

Looking at the same sky, and under the same moon.

I found finally found you.

“Seunghwa, your early.”

With a slight curve of his mouth, a smile coated his features.

‘Phew, I thought I was going to be late.’

“You late? Never.”

‘That’s what I was afraid of.’

“So where are you taking me?”

‘Me?’

“Well, then who else?”

‘You do have a point.’

“So, were are we heading to.”

‘Its a surprise.’

“Seunghwa, come on you know I hate surprises.”

‘Ah come on it’ll be fun.’

“That’s what you always say.”

‘Come on.’

“Yah, Seunghwa.”

Taking her hand in a gentle hold they rushes toward the street together.

Walking down the norrow street a car suddenly races close toward them. Startled they brush up against each other.

‘You okay?’

“Huh, oh.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

‘Jeez, can’t they be more careful. I mean you were so close how could they not see you.’

‘Hey, hey.’

‘You okay?’

“Me? Ah yeah.”

“It’s just that.”

“You saved me.”

“Back then, too.”

‘Ah really? Well looking back, the first time I meet you, i had saved you from crashing into a car too.’

“Hey the car was the one who would of crashed into me.”

‘Hah yeah.’

“Your always saving me like that.”

“Thank you.”

‘I’ll always be there to save you, just like today and like back then too so don’t worry.’

“Then I won’t.”

“Because Seunghwa, I have you by my side.”

‘Speaking of that day, what were you doing there.’

“Mmm. That day.”

“I got lost.”

“I had barely landed in Seoul. And I didn’t know anything or anyone. So I was just wondering about when it happened, then I meet you; and well you know the rest.”

“You where the first person I meet here.”

‘Quiet the first impression, I imagine.’

“Hah, It sure was.”

‘Sorry about that.’

“Don’t ever apologize for that.”

“It was something, really.”

“I thank you, you really saved me back that day.”

‘Hah, dont mention it.’

He smiles sheepishly as a red hue rushes toward his face. But as he continued to look at her his face contoured from a smile into a slightly sad expression.

‘(Y/n).’

“You know, that was also the day.”

“That day, it was the first day I found out I was expecting, Haneul.”

The only thing that filled her face was a pain.

“If I knew, I.”

“I can’t let it go, he- Seunghwa.”

Trying to comfort her, he held her in a tight embrace as she poured out her worries.

‘Do you hate him for it?’

“If I’m being completely honest. I don’t exactly know. I don’t know if I can ever hate him for it, because I know if I did, I’ll hate myself even more.”

“We broke up before he or I even knew about the pregnancy so I can’t say much of anything for that matter. It’s not like he intentionally left, me and his child. It was just something that happened. It just happened.”

“It was my fault, in the moment I didn’t stop him. He was so set to go through with it and who was I to stop him.”

‘Don’t you ever imagine if things would have been different?’

“Of course.”

“ I always do.’

“It’s just..’

“A part of me wanted a answer, but a part of me didn’t want to know. A part of me wants to keep holding on, but a part of me wanted to let go.”

“I don’t hate him, I love him. But loving him was killing me. So had to said goodbye even If i didn’t want to.”

Sometime you just gotta accept that some people can only be in your heart, but not in your life. Those are the people, you’ve just got to love from a safe distance. And he was one of those people.

I mean it’s not easy, it never is. To detach from people you’ve had close ties with, someone you love, but sometimes it’s necessary in order to restore your sanity, peace of mind and life.

“He’ll always be a part of my life, always apart of Haneul’s life.”

“Even through everything, he’ll always be a part of our life, a apart of our life story.”

‘I don’t know how you do it.’

‘Your truly the bravest person, I know.’

‘You know I truely mean it, (Y/n)’

“Honestly, I don’t know how.”

“To be a good mother; while my heart was breaking was one of the hardest roles, I’ve ever had to play.”

“I’m not perfect, but I try to do my best for Haneul. Some days are hard, and i even struggle with my own battles, but I make it through because I want to make him happy. And make sure he knows how much he is loved.”

“I want to be a better, mother to Haneul. I know I’m not perfect and i have much to work on, but i know I’ll get there.”

She appreciated where she was in her journey even if it’s not where she wanted to be. Every season served a purpose.

She walked with a tenderness coating her lips. She was happy, that was for sure. But somehow she felt like something was a mist. She felt like something was missing. Just somehow.

“What time is it.”

‘It’s past three.’

“What am I forgetting..”

“Ah i forgot, that I have to pick Haneul up!”

In that moment she felt her gaze shift up towards the sky. She gave a sigh and parted with the sight of the vast blue openness. She made her way out forward.

Making her way, she was headed toward a multicolored building with a big banner that was displayed in the front entrance that announced the upcoming father’s day event. She was greeted with a smile and a gentle nod by one of the passing teachers. Running inside she was engulfed with a sense of urgency as she looked for the small familiar silhouette.

‘Haneul’s eomma.’

‘Ah and you must be.’

‘Its a pleasure, to meet you.’

Addressing the other, I was preoccupied by the sound of soft footsteps that came in toll. His hair was a mess, but his face was covered in a soft tenderness.

‘Eomma!’

She embraced his small figure in a tight hug.

Taking his tiny hand in hers, she walked with the small child to get his backpack.

“Haneul. Sorry I made you wait.”

As her figure walked away, he was bombarded with the teacher’s never ending comments.

‘Aw, you must be.’

‘I heard many good things.’

‘I hope to see you at the Father’s day event.’

‘You will be coming right?’

‘Please do come.’

‘Ah well, I’ll be defendly expecting you then.’

Seeing her approaching figure a sigh left him as he asked her.

‘Ready?’

“Yeah.”

“Thank you, I’ll see you soon.”

With a slight nod of his head he bid farewell.

Making their way out together she held her hand out. As a smaller one grasped hers, as they walked.

‘Hello, Uncle Seunghwa.’

‘Ah hello, Hanuel.’

“So how was school?”

‘I played with Seojun and Yunseo.’

“Aw did you now, and what did you play.”

‘Train cars.’

“Aw really, that’s so cool.”

A smile filled her lips as she chatted with the small boy about his day at school. And soon they approached a small park filled with a variety of different types of plants and trees.

‘Eomma.’

“Go ahead.”

She parted from the small child as he ran out toward the playground that the park inhabited.

When he was a safe distance away she let a giggle escape her lips.

‘What’s so funny.’

“Ah nothing it was just, you should of seen the face you where making back there.”

‘Hey, if you saw you should of helped.’

“Aw come on, it probably wasn’t that bad.”

‘She said she’ll be expecting me for the father’s day event and well I have no idea what she means by. Why didn’t you warn me.’

“Wait, she said she’ll be expecting you for the event.”

‘That isn’t the point, it seems as though she thought I was his father.’

“But you didn’t deny it, now did you.”

“Why is that, Seunghwa?”

Taking her hands, he placed them in his own. She looked up at his side profile, as she walked.

‘You didn’t deny it either, why is that?’

‘Because deep down, it’s something I want.’

‘For Haneul to have a father in his life.’

‘For you to be happy.’

"But i know I’ve made a lot of choices in my life. But if every single one had to happen to make sure I was right here, right now, and able to meet Haneul then I’ll do it all over again, and i wouldn’t change a thing."

“I wouldn’t change a single thing.”

“Thank you, Seunghwa. For staying by mine and Haneul’s side all these years.”

Looking at the small figure running around with a smile on his face she was filled with a sense of comfort and warmth.

She embraced many beautiful memories in her life.

But the one she admired the most was when she met him.

He was life’s greatest blessing, a group that dream, laughs, plays and loves together. Those whom you can alway count on. Always present not only in the good times, but also in the most difficult moments of our lifes. The most precious gift. He was her heaven. Her vast sky. Her world and whole universe. He was her life.

“Haneul, don’t run too far.”

Masterlist

#Korean Hip Hop #Khiphop #khh #scenarios #images #Dream Perfect Regime #DREAM #PERFECT #REGIME #DPR #DPR LIVE #LIVE #Hong Dabin #AOMG #GRAY #Lee Seunghwa #Christian Yu #Yu Barom #IAN #ROME

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penvenomstarkstar · 6 years ago

Text

Down By the Docks Pt 2 “Cracks in the China”

Written with @maggie-thornecliff

(At a tea shop in the Tradewins Market area)

Maggie nodded, and got them a table. It was after lunch, quieter, and tea was served promptly and hot, with more steeping in the pot. Maggie smelled it, then smiled as she looked out the window. The sun on her face through the windows.

"T...this is nice.."she looks at her cup"A...after we...drink this you....you pick....where is it you want to go..."

She grinned. "I want to look at the armouries and smiths. I've been seeing bits of kul'tiras steel pop up 'ere and there. It's fine work." She murmured a little more softly. "Your blade is that steel, before it was spelled."

"w...wait what?"

Penny she looks at her over the teapot "J..just where did you get it?"

She had this sort of lopsided smile. That one full of little bits of mischief. Just little bits. "See, I went to Smith, and asked him for a sword worthy of a Gilnean mage. Something that'd keep her safe. And that's what we came up with. Found the blade at an auction. The sort that doesn't get written about after." She nods a touch "It...dose and you spend to much on me" she smiles back adoring the smile on her mate that offers mischief and giving back one that is soft and small and sweet "It'll do all sorts of tricks for you, if you've the mind to grow into them. Work, that. Mage work, not merchant work. If not, it'll still serve you well." She sighed a bit "I...I really haven't done much with my magic after Arugs...unless you count freezing up my own arm She nodded. "And freezing faith."

"Well. How's this. I need to keep up my training. And so do you. So we'll do a bit every day." "S...sure I....I would like that" Penny picked up the pot and poured Maggie ordered a tray of nibbles, different bits of things, then looked back to penny and held out a hand. So gentle and carefree it was easy to forget that Maggie had charisma on her side."A place with a view of the water, and a window full of salt breeze." "W...we can set up shop....export teas to other folks that have been displaced form her...call it taste of home"She took maggies hand "Trade in steel, too. Any goods these folk have that might walk the world. And onna return trips, make sure we're bringin' back things they're needful of." She smiled. "But I imagine that you had at least some've tha' to mind already, aye?" "Y....yes not steel no weapons....but the fish and the spices"

"I...I sent out word to one of the market I want to look into clams and then i would like to talk to Weeds about sail cloth " She nodded a bit. "No steel or weapons?" "W...we get pulled over with something like that..." she shakes her head "Still fly the alliance banner, don' we?" She lowers her voice "M....moving weapons is a danguse in times like this" She shrugged a bit, murmuring around her cup of tea. "We've moved worse." She took a sip, all so easygoing it'd be hard for an onlooker to see she'd even spoken. "N...not in a time of open war like this" she stirs her tea a touch "besides steel w...would have to be acounted for above borad " "Would ore?" Another sip. She smiled a little. "You've good crews." She got quieter, leaning in close like she was saying something soft and sweet. "Good crews who never ask why the insides've the ships don't match the hulls, or why we always sit so low inna waterline." "Maggie we....we are dealing with ship people" "So let's put away a little somethin' lighter." "W...what has you so keen on the bussess end all of a sudden" she folds her hands on the table Lady Starkstar bussinss woman Maggie shrugged, her eyes so full of.. some sort of emotion. She did a bad job of hiding it. "May'ap if you feel like you're alone on sortin' out how to fit all of things in between the pages and in between the lines, you'd spend a bit less time in your office." Penny looks at her really looks hard at Maggie's eyes looking for the feeling in the edges of expressions

"It...it can be lonely...but its just if anything was to happen you would...it wouldn't fall on you She sort of went cool then, not cold or icy.. just.. uncertain, reserved. She folded her napkin a little too obsessively, even though it had a tea ring on it. She murmured so softly. "Have I e'er struck you as the sort've woman who'd d'ruther be safe than happy?" Penny looks so hurt at that

Maggie sort of started, like she hadn't meant something quite the way it came out. "It's no' that I'm no' happy. Oi am. I just.. keep missin' you, when you're only a few rooms away, an'.. never really figured out a way to fix tha'." "I...I have my work...it...if I dont then I..." she's so unsure "No' askin' you to stop workin', dove. I jes'.. want more've you. All greedy-like. I love sharin' little moment's with you." She sounded almost.. apologetic. Like it was somehow a bother. She tilted her head and looked down at her tea "S...s..sorry" She looked down at her cup. "Why? I'm th'fool who wen' an' opened my gob with any old worry. More fishwife than knight today, seems." "F...fishwife is fine...just..promise me you'll be my wife" She smiled just a bit at that. "Haven't I already? I just.. want to be sure my betrothed is building a life with me, no' just for me." "..I know...you did but....we haven't yet....i want to make sure....not that i think you don't want to ...just..and my work...its always been a mater of...things seperate...and I just want to give you the world if I could" She nodded a bit, sighing. "You.. I just want you next to me in that world, not jes' trying to give it to me." She laughed. "I'd be a happy beggar, with you next to me."

"I....i know and I....I would be happy just having you close all the time" "So.. be close then. Don't just watch the world go by from behind a mountain of paper bits." "On...only if you don't go running off getting hurt..." she gives a soft smile she knows how they both are. She gives Maggie's hand a swqees "l..let me give you the world....i want to it makes me happy" Maggie sighed a bit. She knew how they both were too. "W...we've made it work....so far....

She had her head bowed a bit. "I worry that I'll turn around, old and grey and half broken, and we won't know what to say. We won't know the other.""Just.. Strangers." "W...why do we need to say anything why cant we just be? A...and you know me....dont you?" She smiled Maggie didn't really know what to say to that. Then her teacup broke in her hand and she yelled, hot tea spilling over herself Penny reached across with her napkin a server came over penny looked up "i...its alright must have been a flaw in the cup...her are you burned?" Maggie let penny see her hand, dry it off. There was a slice in her palm that was just starting to well up with blood Penny took out her handkerchief little flowers on the conners she pressed it to Maggie's hand Maggie was watching her, watching her eyes. There was no pooling of gold no magical moment just worry and sadness in those muddy green orbs. She said nothing pressing her handkerchief down then pulling out a bit of cord probley one she had pocked on the ship she bound it. It wasn't fancy but enough to keep presser on it. Then gently she kissed the back of maggies hurt hand...hardly more then lips brushed across skin. Looking at her for a moment her eyes told her mate that she knew Maggie had broken the cup. "I worry that the only time I have the full of your attention is when I'm bleeding."She said it softly, but so much feeling hiding behind it all "I....if i thought about us more....you it would consume me...."

"I....i would fuss you don't seem to like that...:She shakes her head

"I....i don't know...how to do this....you...have feelings inside you keep....that person safe warm....fed.....protected that's what I am trying to do with my....work.." "We've the money to do that for the rest of our lives. Safe, warm, fed."She shook her head, and sighed, closing her hand around that kerchief with little flowers on it with another sigh. She looked down. " 'm sorry, dove. I think I'm jes' in a mood." "W...would you stay in one place....could you do that? T...the last time you tried you suppressed the Thorn and we got...taken" She thought about it, then shrugged a bit. "Not without somma' to do with myself. I'd go barkin, bloody mad sitting on my hands all pretty.""Is a bit've why I was askin' about the business." There was an odd almost sly look on pennys face one that was a bit out of place That had maggie pausing, tilting her head."Wo'?" "O...on a shelf She flushes a bit

"J...just k..keep you pretty on my shelf.."

That got her eyebrow quirked, and she laughed, and shook her head."aye, I'd go mad there too."

"B..but you would look nice a...and I would know where you were..." she laughs also

Penny smiled so softly "W....what if...we compromise?"

She tilted her head, smiling a little. She couldn't help it. "I'm listenin'.

"I...its two fold""W...we don't have a maid....and I am rubbish at...getting ready..let's go back to some of that....i need to fit in here if we are going to do business...and then training I'll join you....that's part one"

She poured more tea "You....pick a time every other day that I....I have to stop give you an hour....no work no....talk of work....and on the alternating days you....I get you on my shelf as it....were in my office for an hour....bring a book or sewing but just....be there with me"

Maggie nodded gently at that. She looked almost a little.. surprised. She nodded again. "Tha.. that sounds fair wonderful."

"I ...I want to make this work...t...there are things I...I can't give you, but this I can do this..."

Maggie nodded, meeting her eyes with a tired smile. "I think I get.. stuck in my moods sometimes. Oi'm sorry, dove. An' all'va tha' soun's wonderful."

"I...I know I'm not good at....this....I know that...I....I just want to try. N..no moods today n...no more blood tell me how to....make this a better day for you" she means every last word

She held out her hand, then both of them, smiling softly. She took penny's. "Come explore wit' me? See the sights, find the nooks, alla that. I'm sure they mus' have some sor've place that's a bit like the fight pit."

"Y...you mind if i bet on the fights..." she took Maggie's hands gently

She grinned. "Ne'er. I'll even blow you a kiss, for luck's sake."

Penny look at her and smiled. She pulled back her hand and placed some coins on the table "L...lets go then. Y...you lead alright"

Maggie nodded and smiled as well. She stood, leading the way back out to the street. She looked one way, then the other, and laughed. "Ought we flip a coin?"

Penny shrugged "U...up to you.Y...you have my attention...so where ever you want"

She nodded a bit, smiling still. She decided upon left, and they'd only made it about half a block around the corner before coming up on a little shop, with all sorts of little things in the windows. A pawn shop, it seemed. Thrift galore.

Pennys eyes went a touch wide but she said nothing. She was resolved to let Maggie dictate the day

But maggie had stopped, and was looking down at Penny with a soft smile.

She gave a sheepish grin back "T....they have tiny china dogs in the window"

"We'd best go have a look then, aye?" She nodded.

"I..if you like...would you like?"

"Of course." She smiled. "I need you 'appy too, aye? An' I know that look. Let's go 'ave a peek." She knew full well she was signing up for an hour or more in the shop, and she was fine with it.

They both in that moment were just fine.

@wiedaashcroft for the mention

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sinistersaltqueen · 7 years ago

Text

The Promise... Part 3!!!

Title: The Promise Summary: You have spent the last few days with the guys when cas collapses at the door to the bunker. Author: sinistersaltqueen Characters: Dean, Sam, Castiel, Reader, Reader’s family mentioned Word count: 1294 Warnings: (mildish idk its not awful, but its there) smut, violence, Language

Pairings: Reader x Dean, Destiel is mentioned because i hate myself. Author’s Notes: Oh my gosh guys. I cant believe im writing a part 3!!! Im sorry, but i kinda messed with the plot and hinted at destiel but it isnt. Dont hate me please

Part 1

Part 2

You watch Cas hit the floor. At the same second, Sam and Dean rush over to him. You grab a knife off the table and run over to the door Before you can reach the door, a group of three vampires run in Sam and Dean run to grab weapons when you rush up. Holding the knife, you take the first off guard, slicing it’s throat. The second grabs your other arm, pulling you close. It goes to bite you, but you reach around it’s back and drive the knife in. Pulling it towards you. The third tries to grab you, but Dean gets there in time, and wielding a machete, cuts the head off of it. Sam does the same for the other two. Dean pulls out a lighter, flips it open, and drops it on the three of them. “Shit man.” Dean gasps. “Y/N. I’m so sorry. Normally we’d have the weapons we need on us. The bunker is basically everything proof. They must have attacked Cas on his way in, and then followed him when he came in.” Sam explained “Looks like you held your own Y/N. Where’d you learn to fight like that” Dean asked. “Combination of the books, and a shitty family I suppose.” You say softly. Preoccupied with the burning corpses in their living room, they barely register what you say. You kneel down next to Castiel and check for a pulse. You feel a steady rhythm. The constant beating is comforting. Dean sets down a glass of water by you. “He okay?” He asks “I think so…” you remark. You aren’t so sure. You don’t know anything about how an angels heart should sound. This sounds human. Is it supposed to? Does an angel have a heartbeat? Are you just hearing your own? You’re pumping with adrenaline after the vamp attack. You barely know what a heartbeat is. Dean seems really worried about him… Cas slowly pries open his eyes. His breathing is labored, but he will be okay. “Hey Cas. this is Y/N. She’s staying with us for a while.” Sam tells him from across the room. He is leaning against a wall. His body is stiff. He’s tense. Him and Dean look at each other, nod, and join each other in the other room. You wish they would stop doing that. That silent communication thing is getting old. Cas looks up at you. “Hey cutie” you whisper. Cas looks up at you. Confused he says “that’s what dean calls me. You’re not dean. You giggle “Who are you” he asks quietly “I’m Y/N. Sam and Dean kinda saved me? It’s a long story. I’m sure they will explain it later. All that matters right now, is that you’re okay” “I like you” Cas says. It’s clear that he is still a bit out of it. Dean trudges I’m slowly. Dean grunts as he throws castiel over his shoulder. Although it looks effortless, he seems pained by the action of having to carry his friend. Dean moves him to what I can only assume is Cas’ room. A few minutes later Dean walls back in. You are still sitting in the same place. You haven’t moved since it sat next to Cas after the fight. “Don’t make me carry you like that too.” He laughs. “Hey… are you okay Y/N?” You look at him. Something inside of you flipped when you killed that first vamp. You’d gotten in a fight before, but this was something else. He was dead… You start crying. You bury your face in Deans chest he wraps his warm arms around you. “Cmon cutie” he says, picking you up, your arms wrapped around his neck, one of his arms under your legs, the other behind your back. “I thought you only called Cas that..” you whisper. Dean mumbles something under his breath angrily and you just giggle. “Sorry….” you whisper sadly. Dean quietly carries you back to your bed. He plops you down on the covers and starts to walk away. You don’t move. He gets to the door when you barely make out the words “wait-“ He turns around and makes his way back to you. He sits between you and the edge of the bed, putting one hand on your side. You struggle to sit up. It felt like your body weighed a million pounds, but you needed to be close to him. You whisper one word. “Stay…” “Okay Y/N/N… I’m here” You reach out one arm and try to pull him towards you. He lays down next to you willingly. You curl up against him and breathe in the smell of his old t shirt. “This is where you felt most comfortable. In the arms of someone you’ve known for less than 3 days. How sad is that.” You think to yourself. He puts an arm around you and breathes in deeply. “You smell pretty good for someone who just killed a vamp” you both lightly chuckle. He lifts himself to where he is barely above you. He uses his pointer finger to carefully lift your chin to the same level as his. His lips graze yours. They are softer than you expected. It’s like kissing a pillow. He falls back next to you, and whispers “sorry. I couldn’t help myself…” Suddenly it’s like you have regained all of your strength. A rush comes over you. You climb over him, kneeling over his chest, and look at his face. He breathes heavily. His emerald eyes have a primal desire hidden within. You bite your lip. Before you can even think Dean grabs your head and has engulfed you in the most passionate kiss you have ever experienced The excess adrenaline from the fight kicks in and you start to make your way down his neck. You both sit up, you kneeling on the bed over his lap. He pulls his shirt over his head and starts to unbutton the flannel you were wearing. After realizing there are a ton more just like it, he rips the shirt off the rest of the way. He flips you onto your back and starts kissing his way from your neck down to your chest, then to your bellybutton. He uses his teeth to pull down the lacy thong you were wearing. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” he asks. You nod desperately. This is exactly what you needed to get your mind off of everything, a winchester in your pants. ~ You lay next to dean, his arm under your neck Both of you breathing heavily This could make things in the bunker a bit awkward “Shit” dean whispers “What??? Was I bad. Oh my god I’m so sorry. I knew I-“ you panic “No, cutie, it’s okay.” Dean stops you, “Sammy just may or may not have a crush on you” “SHUT UP” you yell back at him. Dean chuckles and squeezes you tight “It’s okay. I got dibs” he winks. “You guys are such kids” you laugh. You both stand up, Dean putting his pants back on, you, throwing on an old curtain that you quickly made into a simple dress. Dean is pulling his jacket back on when Sam walks in the room. You see Sams expression go from ‘I have something important to say’ to ‘what the fuck did I just walk in on’ “Dean. The vamp nest a few towns over is back. Get dressed. Let’s go.” He says. He seems upset. You didn’t know he liked you. Hell, you’ve known the both of them for just a few days. Dean turns to you, you jump up and hug him tightly He grabs you and kisses you. “I’ll be back soon” he whispers. And he’s gone.

Part 4

#spn #supernatural #sam #dean #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #cas #ship #reader x dean #fanfic #fan fiction #writing #im sorry #The Promise #Part 3

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psycheverse-of · 7 years ago

Text

Title: The One Who Is Loved. Author: a teenaged Amber Renee POV: second Summary: Brighton is a fuck up. He’s in this college, full scholarship, everything his way, but he is too fucked up to notice. Drugs are his vice, they keep him going. Well, besides the loyal Spencer who plays the bestfriend and secret crush. And if you think Brighton isnt beating himself up about this newfound gay curve, you’d be wrong. Warnings: drug use. brief mention of noncon sex. Authors note: idunno, okay? I have this fucked up little character in my head, and he wanted his story told. i present him…

Hi. My name is Unimportant, and i will wreck your life.

Hi. My name is Unimportant, and i’m a fuck up.

I have a lamp above my desk, it’s bright and hot and makes me think of the desert. I go to the desert a lot. It’s big and bright and hot. Except for when i go at night and then it’s not. And nothing can ever be what it says it is for long. Deserts just seem bright and hot, a lamp, but they get cold and dark too.

I flip the lamp off and leave my room.

I have a living room, do you have one? What do you use yours for? I have 5 lines of coke in mine, and I usually just pass out in it. Is that what you do? Its what i do. Anyway, i walk into my living room (and what do i do besides die in it?) I walk in and think ‘how much do i want to take?’

cont.

I want three. Three beautiful, wonderful, burning lines of coke to breathe in, please. Drive to the next window!

I get to my knees, hands on the cool coffee-coke table and inhaleinhaleinhale. i forget about the world for a few minutes, and suddenly the walls of my apartment are colorful! This isnt the mental hospital i thought it to be for those few moments.

I jump up, struck by genius, and back under the desert lamp and computer. I Am An English Student. i read books that use old english, and write things that take days. But right now, i’ve been on writers block, hence the coke, not that i need the excuse. If i dont do well enough i could loose my scholarship. i giggle, man i’m stressed.

Smiling to myself, i type, type, type and wipe blood off my nose.

i wanna dieeeeee. i wanna dieeeeee. please give me an A, mister teacherrr!

I get a big fat F, so i take more coke and i forget all about it.

——-

I know. I know i’m fucking addicted. I’m fucked up, but i’m not an idiot. How do i tell? How do I know?

——–

“Hello Brighton.” Oh yeah, that’s my name. I’m not just Unimportant. No, I’m also Brighton “the one who is loved.”

That’s what i mean. My name. I am supposed to be the one that’s loved. Where does that leave everyone else? What makes me so fucking lucky? Why cant Tom or Drew or Sammy be loved, huh? And anyway, it’s not like its real. Its not like i’m real.

“Hiiiii Youuuuuuu!” I smile, and laugh and it’s dark. The desert is cold, so fucking cold but i dont feel it. Nope, i’m in tight jeans, a T-shirt and fingerless gloves but i dont feel a damn thing.

“…What did you take?”

“ABCD EEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Clever. I have to be clever, i’m so clever, “I’m so clever right?” I laugh and laugh until the stars blur into one big ball of fire, and i wish it were my birthday so i could blow them out.

“Oh, Bright. I wish you wouldnt,” I hear your voice and it’s so sad, why are you so sad? The birthday candles are for you, you, you!

“It’s your birthday! Make a wish!” I laugh and clap and you’re leading me back upstairs, why?

“I wish you’d stop.”

I’ll stop when the world stops.

“I love you” I do, I do, I do, I do.

“Go to sleep, Bright. I’ll see you in the morning,” But we go together like the desert and my lamp. Similar, but completely different.

We dont go together, but you sing me to sleep.

(*)

I wake up to a bright headache and a heavy dose of reality seeping through my window. Not okay.

I groan, not okay, and roll off the bed thumping tp the floor. Not okay. I dont even stand. Just crawl, crawl to the desk with the lamp. The desert lamp. I crawl, not okay, and make grabby hands towards the drawer. I pull out its contents, groaning again and lean against the wall. I curl my legs towards my chest, not okay, I light up.

Wake 'n Bake.

I’m okay.

——–

It’s bright outside. Wow, is it always bright here? It’s so bright. I hate it. I hate Bright.

“I hate you, sun,” I singsong. I lift my hands up, feeling my string bracelets fall lower on tired arms, feeling my fingers spread out, feeling. I hate you son.

I drop my hands, bracelets follow, lining up in order once again, where they belong. Time to Be Responsible. Time to Go To Class.

The path to my class is short, too short and it’s too hot. It’s so hot. Sweltering. Vocabulary word. Definition? My life. Overwhelming.

Out Of Control.

The path is short, the building is tall, I follow the steep line of it with my whole head, black hair shifting from out of my eyes with the effort. Tall, tall, tall. You know what? I bet you, I bet nothing bothers this building. It’s strong and it’s big and it’s fucking tall. Really tall. Think of something tall.

Taller then that.

I’m still looking up, up, up when i get shoved from behind. It’s slow, stumbling forward, and then wrenched back.

“You dick,” The words climb out of Smaller-Then-Building-Boy’s mouth and dance around my head. It’s bright yellow. It hurts my eyes it’s so bright. I dont respond. The yellow distracts me, “Hey, anyone in there? Think you can get my girl wasted and then take advantage of her? And not get punished, huh asshole?” The colors are changing. Their hue is lifting, darkening with intent. Red, Redder, flashing, bleeding.

I open my eyes and the talltall building is looking down on me. I look straight and the sun I hate smiles down at me. Why am I here? I sit up and wipe blood off my face, but it keeps dripping. I feel everything.

My high is wearing off.

I stand up, the building seemingly so much smaller and trudge in. I’m late, I’m bruised, I’m battered but I’m here.

“Mr. Wells, do you have another riveting tale for us today?” Teacher.

“What? No,” I slide into a seat, scratching wearily at my skin.

Fuck, I need a hit.

———

“I heard you got into a fight with Chris.”

“Yup.”

“Over his girl?”

“Yup.”

“You even know her name?”

“Nope.”

“Oh, Brighton,” You sigh wearily. I finally look up to catch your face.

“Sorry,” I whisper, I don’t know if you heard me, and I almost dont want you to. I feel like that’s a part of me, of my heart being cut away. Given to you.

You’re a guy.

Why am i not high?

Oh right. Because I’m with you. Because you “don’t approve”. Because you’re above my shit and I love you. Shit. Shit.

“It’s okay,” So you heard, so you caught my heart. It’s not okay. This isn’t okay but it’s not like I’m primed to stop. I can’t stop.

“Okay,” I say instead and you go back to the video game you’re playing and I’m watching.

That’s fine, and that’s fine. I didnt want your attention anyway. It’s fine, really. I just can’t tear my eyes away from you or the tongue poking out of your lips in concentration. I can’t see what’s happening on screen, but it must be good if your smile is anything to go by. You look so happy, why am i not smiling like that?

So i do, I test it out on my face. It stretches and pulls at my muscles, taunt without their usual stimulant.

“You havent smiled in ages,” You note and I dont stop. Just smile, all teeth, i can feel it. We’re at your place and you have the air on. It’s dark except for the TV, and it’s cold.

I’m okay.

(*)

I wake up gasping, nightime. Nightmare. You.

I get up from the bed, your bed. I’m still at your house. Sober. I cant stop shaking and you’re a light sleeper.

“Brigh’?” Mumble, mumble I’m in trouble.

“I have to go,” I feel frantic, my skin feels too hot. Fuck, hot, bright, Brighton, loved. Not okay.

“Wait, wait, Brighton,” You’re sitting up. No, just go back to sleep, please stop. Just stop. Stop. Stop.

“Stop,” My feet are hitting the ground fast before I can think, I’m carried away. Space growing between us. Outside it’s still dark, but I feel the sun. I can’t always see it, but the bright is always there.

My room in my apartment. Never have peeling walls, dirty floors and a grey existence been such a welcome. I breathe it in, and exhale smoke. Fast forward and I’m hardly here at all. My eyelids are heavy, so heavy, but sleep is a far stretch away. Tingling away from my hands. Sleep is a dream.

Genius.

I sit up and crawl, not okay, to my bedroom, my desk, desertlamp on, my computer. Keyboard waiting for me happily. Type, type, type. I have a paper due in creative lit 3, and my material is dancing before my eyes. Little words like subtitles across the bottom of my lids. There is no sound around me, just the words whispered softly in my ear. Ability at my fingertips.

I feel nothing, I feel everything. I swipe black hair from my eyes, long. A while back I cut my hair after the lead singer of my favorite band. I’m paying for it now, it’s so long.

I feel the words like a gust of air through my transparent body. My overheated skin burned by the desertlamp is cooled and relieved.

I feel.

A- Beautifully written. Powerfully unique. I would like to see you writing lighter topic next time.

I got an A. I got an A, but I’m confused. Topics are topics. They don’t weigh anything. They’re just thoughts. Topics swarm, topics are spoken and traded, and taboo. Are topics heavy also?

Is the simple notion of sleep as a dream too heavy?

What’s the line?

Coke? Pot? Heroine? Crime? Sex? Violence? What’s heavy? Not those.

No, those aren’t topics at all. Those are just vices. Etched into a skin and marring beauty. No, those decay a person; those take over a persons eyes. Those live inside and breed friends similar. No, those aren’t topics. That’s a life.

A life can’t be heavy. A life can drag, and split but weight had nothing to do about it. Life is imprinted with heavy topics and then let loose on a wandering soul. I imagine that the soul feels naked, empty and cold. I imagine that it is happy with anything that comes along. If you were a lonely soul wouldn’t you be happy a body came to you, asking you to jump in? Asking so much from you –so inexperienced? You’re young, soul that is, and so alone. So alone. You jump in; make room by the heartache and drugs and it feels like home. The life closes up its opening, and you -soul- realize too late. It’s too late.

Not okay.

And now we’re stuck, all of us. In these weightless bodies, next to our vices. Maybe yours isn’t drugs, but you harbor. You live with your vice. You’re body could be a box or a mansion, but inside prowls that vice.

And that’s okay.

A vice isn’t heavy.

A body isn’t heavy.

Souls aren’t heavy.

Innocence. Innocence is heavy.

Innocence follows like a heavy fog, weighing a person down. It’s born in all of us, even you, even me. Innocence weighs more then anyone can hold, we have to let it go. People cling to it, to their “innocence” and you, my heartache, cling to yours so hard it scares me. Let it go. I had to let the weight off of me. I was too weak for the heaviness, for the burden of “innocence”. I let it go. It had dragged me down, and now I’m light. Now, I’m high. See, do you see that play on words? That’s what letting go does. The world gets so many in-betweens. With the darker the world gets it’s no longer black and white. And for all my talk,

I’d give anything for the weight back.

To wake up and not be burdened by colors and between the lines and those and this, but never that and highs and lows, failure, middle ground. To wake up and just be.

I sigh, looking out my window. Void.

It’s nearly Christmas.

(*)

“Hey Bright,” You don’t mention my panic attack from the other day, and I’m thankful. I also can hardly understand the English language.

“Spin!” I smile; your face looks lovely today. Yup, it does, does, does.

“You’ve been on something more often then not, as of late.”

“Really? No, no. I’m hardly, I-I’m not really on… anything. I-my. You look pretty today!” I finish grandly, throwing you off guard. Your pretty face looks different. Wrinkles above your eyebrows, “What’s that?” I point and mimic the expression.

“My frustrated face,” You answer, and your voice is deeper.

“Oh. Hey, hey do you think. Do you think a topic can be heavy?”

“Sure. Something no one wants to talk about,” You shrug.

“Oh. Oh, I guess. I didn’t think so. I didn’t. It doesn’t weigh anything-”

“They aren’t talking about weight, Brighton,”

“No, no. No, listen. Listen, it doesn’t weigh anything. And, things that do, they aren’t topics. Those are trivial, y’know? But, and what people do, what we live for. That thing that we share our lives with, that’s nothing too. That’s just this unforgiving passenger. Or, or maybe even the driver… I don’t know, but point is, it weighs nothing, it takes nothing to carry it. But what I figured out was, was that innocence, how we’re all born with it, that is the heaviest thing a person can carry. It burdens us, it breaks us until we shed it. It takes nothing to be corrupt, only the strongest can carry innocence like a shield. Do you get what I’m saying?” You’re so strong.

“…And then you say something like that,” You breathe out softly. My fingers itch to touch.

“I’m kinda outta it,” You know, “But I’m sure that wasn’t the answer I was looking for.”

“No. It’s just, when giving up on you seems the only way; you show me why I can’t. How smart you are,” I. Oh.

And you’re looking at me like I’m worth looking at. It feels so good to breathe under your eyesight. This is okay.

Arms. Around me. It takes a minute to click and oh, we’re hugging. Why are we hugging?

“Brighton. Please, just try for me. Please, it’s killing me. Please stop it all.”

My warm fuzzys stop. You’ve never outright asked that of me. It was there, I could feel the plead in every move you made, radiating. But now, it’s vocalized.

Now you’ve done it.

I stop hugging but you cling. Are you crying? Am I crying? I can’t stop, this is bigger then me. I tell you as much.

“Get help, Bright. Get help and get out. Please,” I can’t promise anything, but-

“I-I’ll try?”-maybe.

——–

Sobriety is officially the world’s most overrated thing, ever. It’s two days later, 4 ‘til Christmas. And I’m sorry, but this isn’t working for me.

My face is wet, my body is shaking. I can’t tell what I’m experiencing withdrawals from because I’ve been on them all. You’re gripping me tight, saying words like “love” and “proud” and “Brighton”. There’s a fog to you. Your sounds penetrate, your words do not. I can’t see you either, but my eyes are probably closed/ I’m really cold.

“Can’t, can’t,” Mumble, mumble.

“Sh, you can, Brighton. You can-”

“Can’t, can’t. I can’t. I-Spencer-can’t,”

“Sleep, relax. So good, Bright,” Fuck, I’m so cold. Fuck, it’s so hot.

This isn’t going to end well, and we both know it.

You have optimism for days.

———

It’s three days later and tomorrow is Christmas.

I can’t get up, I can’t move. This isn’t enough.

My chest hurts, why are you doing this to me?

This is cruel, you are cruel. Staying at my house; by my side, making me food, warming my body. How dare you?

I’m feeling better though, I must admit. I’m not shaking nearly as hard and my eyes can open again. I still want it. Fuck, I want so much it feels like I’m going to explode with pure need of an absolution.

“Bright,” Yes? “Brighton, I have to visit my parents tomorrow morning. Think you can handle yourself for that long?” Is this all you think of me?

Am I just a… child? A child for you to fuss over, to coo over, to hold my hand when I fall and pick back up? Is that all? You’re an angel in my eyes. You’re the greatest good there is, pure innocence in human form, strong to hold it. That’s what you are; you are so close to perfection. I am a child.

“Go ahead,” I’ll show you child.

———

“I was starting to worry about you, kid.”

“Just a quick vacation off,” I assure. My eyes are flickering around the dim apartment, home away from home.

“Come in, come in. Merry Christmas,” His laugher feels hollow. It doesn’t just seem. Like, I can feel this. Feel the empty space where the meaning behind it would be.

I wander in, and you cross my mind. I can’t pinpoint why I’m doing this to myself, to you. The moment you bid me goodbye, I was out like a light, shoes on and headed to where my vices materialize. To this hole in the wall, hole in my heart. Fuck, this place is so dirty.

I am so dirty.

“Come in, I said,” Right, right. I take my small steps in, room opening up before me, and “Take a seat kid,” Kid. Kid. Kid.

I’m always a kid to this guy, but I’ve never felt more young. I’m hardly this adult I’m supposed to be. Although, I’m hardly an adult legally, but point in case; I am. I am, but I’m not. I’m so not.

“What’s good?” His opinion was always good. Revert to old habits, I suppose. Fuck, I’m thinking way too much, “Anything to clear my mind?”

“Fer sure, kid,” He smiles slow and snake-like, same as always. I’ll be leaving here doped up, “You know the price,” I do. I know, but it kills a part of me every time. And actually, I’m pretty sure it killed me the first time and now he’s just chipping away at the remains. My throat feels dry, my heart is pounding and for someone so dead, I sure do feel.

Dark rooms, and a shove towards my hell.

Sleep is a dream.

…

As soon as possible I’m out of there too. Kid fresh out of a candy store, pockets bulging with sweets. I wrap my sweatshirt closer around my frame and think about you again. (Always) You would hate me if you knew. If you knew how I fuel this obsession, and that it is so wrong and I am so wring. I want to stop, I’ve never wanted that so bad.

I feel dizzy as I enter my apartment again, and with no drugs my thoughts come cleaner. Nothing as fragmented or ridiculous. Well, maybe a little, but I think that’s just me.

…Maybe…that’s…just…

me.

The powder I was measuring splatters with realization, but. I don’t. Care. I don’t. I- me. Me. It’s… I can decipher myself within this…. this shell. I have lines around me, a joint ready to be rolled, I have myself. I blink. I blink again. And I can’t breathe, but I’m inhaling steadily. I don’t want this. Well, I do, I still feel the pull, but mentally I don’t want this. This vice.

The door opens. You. You wont understand, you’ll jump to conclusions. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I jump up from kneeling, frantic. Got to hide it, all of it. Flush it, ignore it, pretend. Please don’t see!

“Het Bright, I got you…” You trail off. You’re not looking at me, no. You’re staring angrily at the whit dust on the table. It’s not what it looks like!

“No,” I whisper. It’s not what it looks like! I wanted the escape, the crutch, I needed it then. I gave up myself, my body to someone and to these drugs. I know. I know, okay? But, but, I didn’t! I don’t want to! I was weak, I was… a child. I’m done. Please, please, I want to grow up! I want this to end! Please, “Spencer,”

Your eyes flick to mine, watery. Both. I want you to understand, but I can’t get the words on my side. I can’t. I can’t.

“Why?” You croak, “Why are you killing me?” No! No, that’s the last thing I wanted. Blame.

“No! Spencer. No, I-I. I didn’t…I couldn’t…I flushed them…weal…didn’t…want…flushed…I can feel me, now. I don’t want that to stop… I don’t want you… to go. Didn’t…swear,” I stumble my words, and to you, arms outstretched. I grab you before you can go, grab you tight and cling.”

I’m so sorry.

I don’t ever want to lose you.

I don’t ever want to lose me, again.

Don’t leave me with my vices.

I’m scared.

“I’m scared.”

Please answer me. Please do something. Please, please?!

“You need real help. I’m only one person. I’m only 20. You need to go, leave and stay there until you’re better,” I nod, understanding. I’m too much.

I’m a child.

You’re far too young to be taking care of someone who can’t take care of themselves. Can’t love someone who can’t possibly love themselves. Can’t touch something so dirty.

“And,” You continue, angling my face to yours, “I know what you’re thinking,” Nod, “I’m not going any-fucking-where. I’m here, I’m with you until you can’t stand me anymore,” You promise. Suddenly, there’s a click form my bedroom, glass shattering as my desertlamp burns itself out.

And in my semi-lit apartment, Christmas day, energy buzzing between our eyes.

We’ve got optimism for years.

(*)

End.

#poetry

1 note · View note

lunarmoonacnh · 7 years ago

Text

i was tagged by the amazing @unhugme

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: diet coke

2. Phone call: my mum

3. Text message: my best friend telling him goodnight

4. Song you listened to: Michael Jackson - Pretty Young Thing bc it was on the radio

5. Time you cried: like last night or the night before coz it was 2am and life

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone once lmao

7. Been cheated on: yup...

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: no i dont think so

9. Lost someone special: yes, my great grandpa

10. Been depressed: yes, im currently seeing a therapist

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes! every time i drink unless its wine, for some reason wine doesnt make me sick. i think its because i once totally over did it on spirits and cider so not they just taste like the time i almost died and my body cant take it

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. grey

13. mint green

14. blush pink

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes, i started college so i made new irl friends because of that and i have also mad new internet friends through this blog

16. Fallen out of love: kinda, depends how you look at it. i didnt know i had fallen out of love until the relationship had ended and i didnt feel as sad as i thought i would

17. Laughed until you cried: always, when i’m with my friends all i do is cry laugh

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, it happens a lot, sometimes negative and sometimes positive

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, for good and bad.

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes, once i left school i knew who my real friends are because they are the ones who kept in touch and the ones who didnt do other things that they knew would hurt me

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yess

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most, i dont know them all personally but i know of them all, no strangers for me

23. Do you have any pets: not at my house but we are getting our little puppy Sully in 14 days. i do have a cat and a dog at my dads house but i very rarely go visit

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i used to want to when i was a kid because i used to get bullied because i had a ‘boys’ name (Billie) but now i like it because its unique

25. What did you do for your last birthday: met my friends that i met on the internet that are now irl friends for a meal and to go shopping. we went for pizza and bowling and then shopping before they had to leave again:(

26. What time did you wake up: usually between 8am and 9am without an alarm

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was actually sleeping for once if not i was watching youtube videos

28. Name something you cannot wait for: to get my puppy and to meet up with and have a party with my internet/irl friends again in summer

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 15 minuets ago befroe i came upstairs to do this

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i could control my anxiety and depression or even not have it at all. i also wish my dad would pay me more attention and want to see me more because i miss him and its almost like he forgets i was his first kind before he mt his new wife

31. What are you listening to right now: the 1975

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i mean i have a cousin name Thomas? but never someone just called Tom without it being shortened

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: life? no but like the fact that im not allowing myself to do the things i want to do out of pure fear

34. Most visited website: Tumblr of course... it is never off my browser

35. Elementary: ive honestly never wanted to go back to a time in my life more than i want to go back to elementary/primary school

36. High School: no thanks to that. i wish i could have been one of the people that called it the best years of their lives not 5 years of asshole bullying me

37. College/university: im commenting on this as England college (16-18 year olds) and ive just dropped out of one part (sixth from) where i was taking 3 subjects Media studies and Film studies which i loved and will miss and Psychology wich i did love but wont miss because i couldnt do it and it made my anxiety sky rocket. in september i start a makeup course and i am so excieted to be a qualified makeup artist this time next year

38. Hair colour: mousy brown

39. Long or short hair: long, like almost to my butt long (yes its natural)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, but i could never pursue it bc he is my friend and i wouldnt want to ruin that. ive made that mistake with my ex.

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes. they are grey and kinda ombre like they hae a really dark ring on the outside and they get lighter closer to my pupil

42. Piercings: yes, my first and second lobes on both ears, my helix and forward helix on my left ear. half way up my ear and my rook on my right ear and then my nose

43. Blood type: i have no idea, do people actually know this?

44. Nickname: Bil and B although i dont like B (pronounced like Bee) but its what my cousins have called my since i was really small so it doesnt bother me that much with them

45. Relationship status: extremely single

46. Zodiac sign: Aquarius

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: pretty little liars, it has just finished and now i am re watching it to find clues about A that i missed

49. Tattoos: no, but i have a couple planned

50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST… 51. Surgery: teeth removed they are the only ops ive ever had and will ever have to have touch wood

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: i danced as a majorette does that count?

55. Vacation: i honestly have no idea, i think i went to Devon though (its a place in the UK) all i know is my first holiday was during 9/11

56. Pair of trainers: probably like Nike Airs or something Adidas i have no idea

57. Eating: i actually know this bc my older cousin fed me a wham bar (a british, i think, chewy candy thing) when i was 3 week old, so i could have died the ifrst time i hate lmao

58. Drinking: i was 14, i know i shouldnt have been drinking because my mum made me promise her i wouldnt, but i remember being so drunk (idk if it was real or faked tbh) on alcopop thats right 4% alcohol and i probs had like 3

59. I’m about to: go get my cousins baby off his Nan so she can get his older brother from nursery

60. Listening to: idk if this is like asking the same as earlier? coz if so t]still the 1975

61. Waiting for: my friend to reply to me an tell me when he is taking me for coffee

62. Want: my dog

63. Get married: probs idk

64. Career: i dont have one rn but hopefully a makeup artist

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: rn hugs i need to hug someone while i fall to sleep so bad its been so long

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc im also tall so i need someone taller than me (i dont need but i like a partner to be tall)

68. Older or younger: older, people y age are immature so any younger and i may as well spend my time with a 10 year old

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i dont mind tbh

71. Sensitive or loud: both? not too loud though ya girl has sensitive ears

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, im demisexual (it took me 17 years to figure that out) so hook ups aren’t my thing

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: it depends because i tend to be the cause of arguments and things because im honest but im not out there to cause trouble i just dont like to lie

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: no

75. Drank hard liquor?: yes, dont do it, its bad kids

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: yes, i lose my glasses all the goddamn time

77. Turned someone down: yes, i always feel bad but you cant force feelings

78. Sex on first date: nope

79. Broken someone’s heart: not that i know of, i doubt it though

80. Had your heart broken: yes, again not fun

81. Been arrested: nooo

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: not always

85. Miracles: yes, the baby i spoke about earlier? yeah hes my miracle, he was born with a new strain of meningitis, he has had 3 lots of brain surgery (at a week old) and the doctors said it was a very low chance he would survive. he did 3 times. his heart also stopped 3 times, again he is here. he also had multiple surgeries on his joints, we got told he wouldnt walk but here he is at 16 months running around like a crazy person and loving life with his older brother

86. Love at first sight: i mean no, how can you fall in love with someone based off their face (no matter how many cute people you see on the street that you think you love, you probably dont)

87. Santa Claus: hes real in my house

88. Kiss on the first date: ive never been on a proper date so

89. Angels: yeah, i really love t believe in thse things because its cute

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: im not saying their name coz idk if thats a good idea tbh

91. Eye colour: greyyy

92. Favourite movie: Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland i just love his aesthetic and the story of Alice so put them together and you have a winner

ok i dont have 25 people to tag but i do tag @theflowerkingdom @kinkylildanny @creepyphantasia @imjustacanforallthephantrash and @dead-nightingale

if you are reading this and you want to do it, go for it and just say i tagged you!

#danielhowellsbooty

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asteriasdaydream · 7 years ago

Text

92 Truths

Rules: Tag 20 people

Tagged by @sassyunicorns2 .Thank you very much!

THE LAST…

1.Drink: water

2.Phone call: mama bear

3.Text message: My friend Nadine

4.Song you listened to: Too Much - Loco (Feat. DEAN)

5.Time you cried: Last night while writing the update for Speak Softly, Love. lol.

HAVE YOU EVER…

6.Dated someone twice: no

7.Been cheated on: No

8.Kissed someone and regretted it: Shamed to say yes.

9.Lost someone special: yeah.

10.Been depressed: Yes

11.Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes... only once. It shall be the last.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

- Pastel pink, white, blue

15.Made new friends: yes.

16.Fallen out of love: yep

17.Laughed until you cried: this happens a lot bc I think everything is funny

18.Found out someone was talking about you: too many times

19.Met someone who changed you: yes. the person was a bad influence though...so it wasn’t a permanent change.

20.Found out who your true friends are: yes.

21.Kissed someone on your Facebook list: .....yes

GENERAL…

22.How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 99% since most of them were people from school and university. However I’m actually friends with probably 2%

23.Do you have any pets: yes! I have one little cute dog, his name is Rex and he’s actually really old but he’s adorable.

24.Do you want to change your name: I wanted to.. but nah not anymore. I’d change my surname though.

25.What did you do for your last birthday: I went out with my parents.

26.What time did you wake up: around 9am

27.What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping.

28.Name something you cannot wait for : There is something I want to do after graduation. If it works out then I will be very happy about that.

29.When was the last time you saw your mother: Just now.

30.What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish I worked harder at school so I could have studied what I wanted to when I got to university. I’m currently doing something I don’t really care much for tbh.

31.What are you listening to right now: Sing For You - EXO

32.Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: YES. Actually have been friends with him since 2003, but I haven’t seen him since the last day of high school in 2015.

33.Something that is getting on your nerves: There are a few things that are getting on my nerves, but this is a positive blog so I shan’t say ^^

34.Most visited website: tumblr and youtube.

35.Elementary: ✔

36. High School: ✔

37.College/university: Currently

38.Hair color: My hair is weird. It’s a dark brown after it’s washed. But a few days after it turns a bit lighter. But that’s my roots. The rest of my hair is bleached a disgusting blonde colour that I can’t wait to get rid of by dying it some unnatural colour (Still deciding on that)

39.Long or short hair: My hair used to reach my butt, but then I cut it short... so I want to get the length back, so rn its around mid-back...I think?

40.Do you have a crush on someone: Does Oh Sehun count? There is nobody at university that I’m interested in at all...sad..

41.What do you like about yourself: My writing ability...is that a thing?

42.Piercings: Normal ear piercings.. I used to have a cartilage piercing but I took that out after waking up in my own blood one morning. Not fun.

43.Blood type: A+

44.Nickname: don´t have one.

45.Relationship status: Mentally, dating Sehun. Realistically I’m a sad loner.

46.Zodiac sign: LEO (side note that my VIXX bias is Leo ;))

47.Pronouns: She/her.

48.Favorite tv show: Running Man. Literally just watched an episode before doing this.

49.Tattoos: none. I used to want one, but not anymore.

50.Right or left hand: right.

FIRST…

51.Surgery: never had one.

52.Piercing: 3. but its two now bc no more cartilage piercing ha.

54.Sport: Soccer. Watching and playing. But funny I was in the hockey team in high school and I don’t even like hockey.

55.Vacation: I could list a whole lot of places i wanna go to.

57.Eating: I’m about to get a good plate of pork chop, ribs and chips from mama bear.

58.Drinking: Nothing.

59.I’m about to: eat a feast.

60.Listening to: EXODUS - EXO

61.Waiting for: my food.

62.Want: There are a lot of things that I want.

63.Get married: Yes if Sehun is the option.

64.Career: Hmm... even though I’m at university rn I could go 4 different routes with the stuff I’m studying so I’m still deciding... but I actually want to study something else after I get this degree... It’s a secret bc I don’t wanna jinx myself lol.

WHICH IS BETTER…

65.Hugs or kisses: they are both special in their own ways.

66.Lips or eyes: both.

67.Shorter or taller: taller. bc everybody is taller than I am.

68.Older or younger: older.

70.Nice arms or nice stomach: It doesn’t matter to me tbh

71.Sensitive or loud: both.

72.Hook up or relationship: relationship.

73.Troublemaker or hesitant: a little bit of both?????

HAVE YOU EVER…

74.Kissed a stranger?: No. I’m not bold nor confident. I’m too awkward for that.

75.Drank hard liquor?: yap.

76.Lost glasses contact/lenses?: no.

77.Turned someone down?: yep. I was hated for a straight 5 years for that.

78.Sex on first date?: NO

79.Broken someone’s heart?: yeah. I feel bad eh.

80.Had your heart broken?: yes, by ex-friends

81.Been arrested?: nope

82.Cried when someone died?: yes

83.Fallen for a friend?: yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84.Yourself?: Absolutely not.

85.Miracles?: Yes

86.Love at first sight?: dont believe in it.

87.Santa Claus?: no. My parents were so bad at trying to get me to believe tho. bless them.

88.Kiss on the first date?: no. where is the date?

89.Angels?: yes. My saint name is Michael bc he is God’s strongest Angel.

OTHER…

90.Current best friend’s name: NADINE WHERE YOU AT

91.Eye color: green.

92.Favorite movie: rush hour 1,2 and 3

Now to tag 20 people…I don’t have 20 people to tag hahahahahahaha most of them were already tagged... I always never have people to tag, so whoever wants to do it can! :)

#about me #tag game

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beautyisreligion · 7 years ago

Text

To distract myself from being suicidal I answered lots of questions

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Can’t remember it’s been a while  2. Are you outgoing or shy? More shy  3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My fren jazmyn tomorrow :)  4. Are you easy to get along with? I hope so  5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Person I like???! Like friends??? What?  6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Girls.  7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Nah  8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Professional hockey player Auston Matthews.  9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nah  10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Deep??? Idk  11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? So we don’t have a cooler really  12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Green light So far (it's alright) Where do you go (to my lovely) Subdivisions (the nsp version tho) Scar tissue   13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Ye   14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?  man idk 15. What good thing happened this summer?  im too sad to b positive rn thanks 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?  yep 17. Do you think there is life on other planets?  hell yeah man come on

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?  i dont even really know who my first crush was 19. Do you like bubble baths? if the bath is big enough for my gross body then ya  20. Do you like your neighbours?  I dont really like people in general man (not 2 b emo) 21. What are you bad habits?  Eating all the time. Being messy. Being sad. 22. Where would you like to travel?  Greece. And go back to toronto. 23. Do you have trust issues?  hell yeah 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? the fuck is a routine???????//?????  25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?  the entire concept of “body” makes me uncomfortable 26. What do you do when you wake up? either like 8am or 4pm  27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?  neither????? 28. Who are you most comfortable around? no one (1)  29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? i have nver dated any person  30. Do you ever want to get married?  no 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? ye  32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?  oh bruh tons. rn i’d say tom hollands and zendaya 33. Spell your name with your chin.  nikcfolld 34. Do you play sports? i havent moved in centuries  35. Would you rather live without TV or music? tv  36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?  no idea 37. What do you say during awkward silences?  nothing. they are silent. 38. Describe your dream girl/guy?  someone who is nice and likes me 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?  slavation army and winners and like urban planet 40. What do you want to do after high school?  die 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? no.  42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?  tired. specific kind of sad. 43. Do you smile at strangers?  i try to 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? ocean!  45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? nothing.  46. What are you paranoid about?  all. 47. Have you ever been high? I smoked weed once but i didnt really feel anything so i guess no  48. Have you ever been drunk? yeah like twice  49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? this probably  50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black  51. Ever wished you were someone else?  all.the.time 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?  all. 53. Favourite makeup brand? bruh???idk  54. Favourite store?  didnt u ask this aready 55. Favourite blog? ob-elisk  56. Favourite colour? black  57. Favourite food?   greek 58. Last thing you ate? im ashamed of it so no  u dont get to know 59. First thing you ate this morning? mango  60. Ever won a competition? For what? yeah a lot back in the day for ballet  61. Been suspended/expelled? nah 62. Been arrested? nah  63. Ever been in love? how should i know  64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?  it was gay and fun 65. Are you hungry right now?  no 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? they are the same people  67. Facebook or Twitter?  twitter 68. Twitter or Tumblr? tunglr.hel  69. Are you watching tv right now?  no 70. Names of your bestfriends? i dont know what “best friends” means  71. Craving something? What?  death 72. What colour are your towels? blue  72. How many pillows do you sleep with? dos  73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? ye  74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? in me bed: 3 in me house: more  75. Favourite animal?  elephants and dogs and cats and coons andbears and corvids and moths and spiders 76. What colour is your underwear?  white 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate boo i aint a madman  78. Favourite ice cream flavour?  CHOCOLATE 79. What colour shirt are you wearing?  black 80. What colour pants?  white + green 81. Favourite tv show?  brooklyn 99 i think 82. Favourite movie?  lilo and stich silence of the lambs dark knight 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? come on. obviously the OG.  84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? both.  85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? janis  86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?  Crush 87. First person you talked to today?  me mom 88. Last person you talked to today?  me mom 89. Name a person you hate? dad. donald trump. hitler. johnny depp. men.  90. Name a person you love? me sis  91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?  dad. donald trump. hitler. johnny depp. men. 92. In a fight with someone? nah i dont think so  93. How many sweatpants do you have? 2  94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? lots  95. Last movie you watched? back to the future  96. Favourite actress?  julie andrews 97. Favourite actor?  heath ledger 98. Do you tan a lot? i dont leave my home thanks  99. Have any pets?  4 kitties and a ghosst dog 100. How are you feeling? b a d  101. Do you type fast?  not really 102. Do you regret anything from your past? i dont believe in regret  103. Can you spell well? not as well as you’d hope from an AP english student. and way worse in french.  104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes. my lovely and dead grandparents  105. Ever been to a bonfire party? a what  106. Ever broken someone’s heart?  lmao not that i know b 107. Have you ever been on a horse?  like a decade ago yeah 108. What should you be doing? sleeping  109. Is something irritating you right now?  insomnia and depression and self hatred 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? meh  111. Do you have trust issues?  yeeeeeEEEBOYYY 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? dont member. prly me mam.  113. What was your childhood nickname? one time i got called nicky and my mom got mad at the kid and i was too scared to say that i liked that someone was close enough to me to call me that but then our friendship fell apart :(((  114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes, a lot. im very fortunate  115. Do you play the Wii? wanted one when i was younger and never got one  116. Are you listening to music right now? nah but i wish (am too lazy and sad)  117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? am a vegetarian  118. Do you like Chinese food? ye specially noodles  119. Favourite book? Misery or paper towns or harry potter or percy jackson or i dont know really  120. Are you afraid of the dark? no  121. Are you mean? i hope not. i try not to be  122. Is cheating ever okay? what does “okay” mean  123. Can you keep white shoes clean? no  124. Do you believe in love at first sight? yes.  125. Do you believe in true love? yes.  126. Are you currently bored? i dont know man  127. What makes you happy? blissfull ignorance of my mental disorders even for a moment  128. Would you change your name? yeah. my last name so that its not my dads anymore  129. What your zodiac sign? virgo  130. Do you like subway? yeah  131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? wake up from the vivid day dream  132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? deep????  133. Favourite lyrics right now? “And she lays down on her bedroom floor The chemicals that make her laugh Don't seem to be working anymore”  134. Can you count to one million? what????no???  135. Dumbest lie you ever told? anything i ever told my dad to try to avoid his rage  136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed  137. How tall are you?  5 foot 9 138. Curly or Straight hair?  in between 139. Brunette or Blonde? me??? im brunette  140. Summer or Winter? death  141. Night or Day? death  142. Favourite month? time aint real and neither are months  143. Are you a vegetarian? i am :)  144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? dark!!!!11!!!!!!!!!11!  145. Tea or Coffee? coffee.  146. Was today a good day? it never is.  147. Mars or Snickers? neither.  148. What’s your favourite quote?  “When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake.” “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” 149. Do you believe in ghosts?  i d o n t k n o w 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “About a year or so after we moved to Scarborough, my parents and their friends began having weekend get-togethers.”

(via lookingfortronler)

#my post #nicole hasdepression guys and she'll take the distraction sshe can get at 1:52 am

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artificialcats · 8 years ago

Note

1 - 150

omg thanks answers under the cut bc this is going to b long

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

tbh dont even remember but ive never like, held hands w anyone ~romantically~ or w/e

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

SHY but i have my more outgoing moments every once in a while

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Quinn!!! and my other friends and my sister back home :-) and my cat

4. Are you easy to get along with?

uhh idk? i guess?

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

tbh dont know

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

nice ones. cute ones. ones interested in the same stuff as me ?

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

my friend did a tarot reading for me a week ago and when i asked if id have a gf this year the answer was not good lmao so doubtful

8. Who from another gender is on your mind?

idk?

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

im p indifferent

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

tbh my memory is garbage idk

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“signing tomorrow at 3:30″ cryptic out of context

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

the traveller- beach house (just walked to it in a fashion show! its good), boyfriend--best coast, sleepover--hayley kiyoko, forever (pt II)--snakehips, and a variety of tennis songs i cant choose from

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

not particularly

15. What good thing happened this summer?

last summer i got to do a bunch of fun stuff w different friends!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

ive never kissed anyone before LMAO (last “person” ive ever kissed was my cat on the head and ya id do that again)

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

I MEAN like the universe is so expansive theres no way theres NOT some other form of life out there

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

lmao no

19. Do you like bubble baths?

nah i dont like baths

20. Do you like your neighbors?

at home yes (QUINN!!) and no (dont talk to anyone else)

21. What are you bad habits?

nail picking, a lot of other stuff im too tired to list rn

22. Where would you like to travel?

would love to road trip it across the west

23. Do you have trust issues?

maybe? idk

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

moisturizing

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

tbh feeling p good abt my body rn.. maybe my shoulders.. ive always disliked how square they r..

26. What do you do when you wake up?

p much immediately get in the shower

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

never thought abt it

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my close friends

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

i dont have any exes

30. Do you ever want to get married?

maybe someday but not for a loooong long time

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

im ace so like,, none of them

33. Spell your name with your chin.

losauirtfsa

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

nope. used to play tennis tho

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

probably tv. love music too much

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

HA ofc living that life rn

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

uh probably nothing

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

nice, supportive, is willing to dance around to/sing along w 70s/80s/2000s music w me

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

thrift stores probably.. never know what youre going to find

40. What do you want to do after high school?

well rn im in college and thats p much what i was going for in high school so

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

nah

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

probably just that i dont feel like talking? or im tired

43. Do you smile at strangers?

usually

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

outer space theres some whack stuff in the ocean

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

idk

46. What are you paranoid about?

a looot of things LMAO

47. Have you ever been high?

nope

48. Have you ever been drunk?

nope

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

grey

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

sometimes but usually just in like a ‘they look rlly cool’ or ‘i rlly like their style’ kind of way like just kind of envious

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

probably like, throwing my depression out the window

53. Favourite makeup brand?

dont wear makeup enough lmao

54. Favourite store?

tbh dont rlly have one also this is rlly similar to previous question?

55. Favourite blog?

i love the househunting blog but idk if i rlly have a favorite

56. Favourite colour?

PINK

57. Favourite food?

chicken bc theres so much good stuff u can do w it

58. Last thing you ate?

mini twix bar

59. First thing you ate this morning?

eggs on toast

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

yea won a couple different ones for art related stuff

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope

63. Ever been in love?

platonically ya romantically no i dont think so

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

a short one: never happened

65. Are you hungry right now?

no ive been snacking all night lol

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

my tumblr friends p much are my rl friends so,, no

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

70. Names of your bestfriends?

quinn

71. Craving something? What?

the sweet warm embrace of my bed

72. What colour are your towels?

one is pastel blue one is black/white/grey stripe

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

two

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

yea. i have a big pusheen plush and at home a mini dino pillow pet n a cat plush

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

like.. 3 i think? i used to have a L O T

75. Favourite animal?

cats

76. What colour is your underwear?

black

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

once i had cardamom n it was rlly rlly good

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

white w blue stripes

80. What colour pants?

jean overalls

81. Favourite tv show?

OOGH rn the getdown, stranger things, parks n rec, x files, downton abbey, charmed, a lot,

82. Favourite movie?

jurassic park

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

neither

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

neither

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

dont have one

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

idk maybe nemo? never rlyl though abt it

87. First person you talked to today?

my mom

88. Last person you talked to today?

my sister

89. Name a person you hate?

idk

90. Name a person you love?

all my friends

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

not anyone i kno personally

92. In a fight with someone?

idk

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

like one pair and i never wear them lmao

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

a couple

95. Last movie you watched?

ella enchanted

96. Favourite actress?

no one comes to mind ?

97. Favourite actor?

idk jeff goldblum?

98. Do you tan a lot?

99. Have any pets?

yes!! two cats

100. How are you feeling?

tired but ok

101. Do you type fast?

i think so yea

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

idk

103. Can you spell well?

im ok

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

kind of but i know we’re so different now we probably wouldnt even get along.. its not a miss i feel all the time tho more of a ‘we knew each other for so long its kind of sad we grew apart’

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

i want to say yes but it wasnt like a party party

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

not that i know

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yes

108. What should you be doing?

my homework

109. Is something irritating you right now?

school. im ready to get out of here

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

i dont think so

111. Do you have trust issues?

wasnt this question already asked

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my friend steph i think (over the final fantasy ending LMAO)

113. What was your childhood nickname?

i dont think i had one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yea

115. Do you play the Wii?

not a lot no

116. Are you listening to music right now?

yep (rn its 0 to 100 by drake on shuffle)

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

not really. i like the broth tho

118. Do you like Chinese food?

119. Favourite book?

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

depends

121. Are you mean?

i try not to be

122. Is cheating ever okay?

nah

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

NO LMAO i have a bad habit of standing on my own feet my white shoes r so gross

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

idk

125. Do you believe in true love?

idk

126. Are you currently bored?

not rlly

127. What makes you happy?

my friends, cats, pink, good food, nature, making my own art, old houses n rooms, lots of stuff

128. Would you change your name?

never thought about it

129. What your zodiac sign?

aries

130. Do you like subway?

not rlly

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

what

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

im p sure this ? was already asked

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

134. Can you count to one million?

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

dont remember but lots of em

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed. i cant sleep w them open

137. How tall are you?

5′10″

138. Curly or Straight hair?

i have straight hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

im blonde? i dont kno if theses r refering to me or what i prefer on other people?

140. Summer or Winter?

summer

141. Night or Day?

tbh a tie

142. Favourite month?

dont have one!

143. Are you a vegetarian?

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

neither

146. Was today a good day?

it was ok

147. Mars or Snickers?

no preference

148. What’s your favourite quote?

dont have one

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

i mean i dont not believe in ghosts

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“Grant said “what did you think?”” -Jurassic Park

#thank u mystery anon for distracting me from my hw #long post//#Anonymous

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splattershotsundae · 8 years ago

Text

Better Eight Than Never --- Chapter 23: Some good and knot so good feelings

VZZTVZZT

Toda groaned.

VZZTVZZT

“I’m trying to sleep, phone...” He murmured, turning over in his bed, and then cringing in pain as he put pressure on his leg. Oh right, his life wasn’t exactly normal anymore… He carefully sat up, pulling the blankets off to get a look at his leg. Bato’d put the bandage up as high as he could, most of it able to be hidden under a pair of shorts, but he’d still have to wear actual pants if he wanted to be on the safe side… He took a moment to watch a few raindrops trickle down his window before leaning over and picking up his phone; There was a chance these texts would be important. When he saw it was from Jill and neither in all caps, or spelled properly, he relaxed and pull the covers back over his lap.

J: Hey T are you up yet?

J: I was wondering how u r

T: yah im up

T: im donig okay, prty sore tho

T: wbu?

J: Im good

T: good 2 haer

J: shoulder still hurts

J: aLOT

J: not suprised ur sore tho

T: yeah

J: r u feelin sick @ all?

J: jus gathrin info 4 S

T: hm...

T: no, i dnot thik so

J: good! :D

T: :)

T: wht bout u?

J: Im fit as a skattele!

J: *Fiddle

T: lol

T: hwo fit s a skattele? :P

J: theyre pretty fit

J: easy ot fit in ym mouth!

J: omnomnomnomnom!

T: LOL XD

J: Do u like skatteles?

T: nto my al-tim favrite, btu i liek tem

J: Ok, then wh@ candies do u like?

T: nything wit choclate

T: especly milk chocolte

T: espcily peant m&ms

J: I'll keep th@ in mind. XP

J: Especially th@ u dont have a peanut allegory

J: *Alligator

J: *A L L E R G Y T: lol XD

T: yah no allergies

J: I cant type 2day!

J: it is a cuuurrseeee

T: sems lik it :P

J: A hilarious curse...

Toda wasn’t quite sure how to reply. He decided he’d try to figure it out while he got himself some clothes for that day. He carefully swung his legs over the edge of the bed and started to stand slowly, but as soon as he started to put weight on his bad leg he winced and sat back down quickly. Alright, it's fine, there's no hurry... He took a few deep breaths, then tried to stand again, putting a hand on his nightstand to brace himself as he put the weight on his leg again. “Okay, so at least I'm standing now...” He murmured as he started to limp towards the closet. Once there he leaned against the wall and looked over his available clothing. His usual layered anchor shirt needed to be washed… and to have the sleeve stitched up… He supposed he’d wear his part-time pirate, and a pair of baggy pants he hadn’t worn in forever, that was bound to be much easier to put on than a pair of jeans, or worse… He just remembered to grab a pair of socks as well before staggering back to his bed and sitting down. Thank Judd that was over, now he could take a bit of a break before changing clothes. Oh, Jill’d messaged him again while he was picking out clothes.

J:... T, how many of th messages did u read from after u stoped rplying yetsrday?

T: um.. I ddn’t rly

T: y?

J: You may want to look again.

T: ok?

Toda frowned a little, starting to pull up the group chat. He hadn't remembered receiving a notification for one after that, though he'd had no signal just before Oz came, and his phone had been muted too--

S: Toda!

S: No

S: answer!

S: Toda Pleaes

S: Toda pleas eanswer

S: I love you

He stopped, eyes settling on the message at the bottom of the chat. "Oh." He said aloud. A blush crept up his face, his stomach butterflies seemed to wake up and promptly triple in number; some of them made their way into his chest, making it feel lighter. "Oh." He repeated, his voice a little softer this time. He couldn't seem to come up with anything else to say.

He sort of lay back for a second, staring up at the ceiling. So.. so his feelings weren't unrequited. They liked him too, loved him too. He actually started to smile, feeling some of the worry that had been sitting with him the last couple of days ebbing away. He should call them and... wait. Should he just call them and tell them? What exactly would he say? Was now even a good time? Maybe in person would be better... but that might not be for a while; he didn't know if they were going to be up to coming to the plaza today... probably not... or would it be better to let them bring it up first? He rubbed his forehead, feeling a few knots starting to mix in with the butterflies, though these were slightly different knots than before.

He realized that Jill was probably waiting for an answer, so he picked up his phone and started to bring up their 1-on-1 chat, when it... occurred to him that Simon had confessed in their group chat room. He grimaced a little, feeling his blush become darker. Oops... He brought up Jill's messages, but the only thing he could think of to say was still just:

T: oh

J: Im sosorry this wa snone of my busniess Ishount ave sad anythung imsosorry i wish idneevr seeniut Ijsut fiue

J:ds thatsome ofs waht s isupsetbout i can hear thm pacing abd i got curios and

T: nonoonno

T: its fin

T: rel yit sok

T: wai

T: r they ok?

J: Im right below their room

J: Theyre pacing more than usual

J: I think... they thought you knew they said that.

T: oh

T: no, i hdant sen it til now

T: m phon was mutde

T: nd teh siganl wsa rell bad ther

A short pause.

J: Do u like them back?

T: yeah, i do

T: I really do

J: Oh thank goodness...

Toda smiled a little, taking a deep breath and trying to get the blushing under control… Simon had been a little awkward after they’d found him… was this why? They thought he’d seen the message?

J: Theyre pacing faster D:

J: MayB when u come over u should talk 2 them

J: or @ lest try.

T: yah...

T: wold tey b up 2 tha tday?

J: MayB

J: Probably just thruogh the door tho

T: ok...

J: @ this point u stand a beter chance than me...

T: oh...?

J: We... havnt been connecting as well snce... the stuff happned.

T: oh...

Toda felt more knots, of a different kind. This wasn’t good…

J: Theyre so distant from me now.

J: Its hard...

J: Sometimes I wonder if... he said something 2 them...

T: ... yeah... its posibl...

J: I wish I could help thm

J: But our encounters r so... the complt opposte.

T: yeah...

J: sryy 4 droppin heavy stuff....

T: its ok

T: i dont mnid

J: are u sure?

T: im sure

T: :3

J: if u say so...

Toda waited a moment, then sighed and began to change his clothes. Part of him wanted to stay at home, his leg hurt so much, but he had to go to the plaza anyway to meet with the squid sisters, so he didn’t really have a choice either way. He’d just have to take some pain medication and hope for the best. And have breakfast, if there was one thing he was fairly sure he’d never do again, it was take food for granted.

He stood up on wobbly legs and straightened his clothes, then slipped his phone into his pocket and limped toward his bedroom door. He paused with his hand over the knob, casting a glance at his Splattershot Jr. and ink tank. Nope, not going to take any chances today. He grunted and bent down to pick them up, and fastened them on before finally heading out of his room and going to get ready for the day.

Bato awoke that morning to the sound of rain tapping on glass, his room dimly tinted gray from the dappled light coming in through his window. He yawned and sat up, looking toward his bed, where he saw Hachi already awake and watching the raindrops glide down the windowpane. "Morning." He greeted, voice still a little heavy from drowsiness.

Hachi gave him a quick glance, but then looked back out the window.

He fell silent, watching the rain as well. It was awfully calming, he had to admit. “How are you feeling?” He asked.

“… Meh...” She croaked after a moment’s pause.

"Looks like it might be a while before we can leave for the plaza." He continued.

Hachi nodded.

“… How long have you been up?” He asked.

She tried to speak again, but just started to cough, deeply and painfully.

He grimaced a bit. "Do you want something to drink?" He asked her.

She nodded, rubbing her throat.

He nodded as well, then stretched and groaned, feeling a bit of pain from where Hachi’s kick had bruised, then got up to get her a cup of water. As he did, he wondered how well Toda was going to be able to watch her with his hurt leg. He could always offer to help, he supposed. And if Toda didn’t let him help, he reassured himself that he was in the same building, so he could respond quickly if something went wrong. He walked back into his room, holding out the glass of water. “Here you go.”

Hachi gave a small nod, then took the glass and took large gulps of water. When she’d finished drinking, she cleared her throat. “Testing… Okay… So what things aren't going to go according to plan with you today?" She asked, voice still a bit rough.

He chuckled. "I think right now all we have planned is to go check in with the Agents at the plaza... I guess anything else will depend on how everyone's feeling. And the weather."

She paused. "... I'm... actually hungry this morning."

"Well, that's good." He said with a nod. "It sounds like both my parents left early this morning, likely to get to work before it started raining, so... There's leftovers we can heat up again, or I could look at making something quick."

"... You have any more oranges?" She asked quietly.

"Yup." He replied. "Stepmom got quite a few the other day."

She nodded. "One of those."

"Alright... hm..." He thought for a moment. "There's still some casserole left... or... I wonder if there's still any pancake mix left, that wouldn't take too long..."

"I'm not having dinner again." She clarified.

"Okay then, that's fine." He said with a small shrug. “Do you think you’ll be able to walk by yourself today?”

“We’ll see.” She grunted, then swung her feet off the bed and stood. “… Looks like we’re okay.”

Bato nodded. “Good. Come on, let’s get some breakfast.” He turned and lead the way down the hall and into the dining room, pulling out a chair for her to sit in. “Go ahead and sit while I get you that orange.” He said, then stepped into the kitchen. As he was opening up the fridge, he got a text from Jill. He began to text her intermittently as he peeled the oranges.

J: B is it raining @ ur house 2?

B: Yup. Might be a while before we can get over there.

J: k

J: just curious.

J: hows 8?

B: She has a bit more of an appetite this morning, so that's a good sign.

J: Oh good

J: She stil fevery?

J: oh man she went through yestrday w a fever course she was so upset

B: I think she's over the fever now

B: Yeah...

J: U think u got it?

B: Not that I can tell

B: And it has been a few days now...

J: Well im not feelin it yet ethir

J: ima have 2 ask T

J: mayB its just an octo thing

B: Maybe

Bato separated the orange slices and put them on a plate, bringing them out to the dining table and setting them in front of Hachi before stepping back into the kitchen. He opened up one of the cupboards and sure enough, there was a box of pancake mix at the top. He brought it down and got ready to start cooking.

J: I realy hope we dnt get it

J: if only 4 S's sake

B: Same here

J: Did ur moms let 8 stay or did u have 2 sneak her in?

J: just curious

B: They let her stay

B: I had to do some pretty fast talking though

J: wh@ did u have 2 tell them?

B: Mostly just reassurances that nothing serious was up

B: I think SMom was starting to think that she was in trouble with the law or something

J: Well....

J: I mean shes probly not WRONG

B: Yeah, probably not

J: I hope theres a rainbow 2day

J: th@ would b cool

B: Yeah, that would b cool

J: U think 8's ever seen a rainbow?

Bato had to consider that for a moment.

B: Hm... I don't know actually

J: MayB u should ask her

J: but if she doesnt kno just leave it a surprise

B: I might do that.

J: :D

After that, Bato began to pour pancake batter onto the griddle and didn’t check his phone any further. He figured that at least if Hachi had seen a rainbow before, that wasn’t what they called it, since she didn’t know what rain was. Then again, that lingual quirk could have survived, he theorized. Language was interesting… Where had words even started in the first place? Probably the word ‘Mom’, it was easy to say, and it had such an important meaning. He’d know, he had two.

He put the pancakes onto a serving plate and turned off the burner, then went back into the dining room. "They're ready--" He broke off, realizing that Hachi was absent from her chair. He quietly cursed and slammed the plate down onto the table, then jogged to the front door. Who knew how far away she could be by now, he should have paid more attention to her, he should have--

The sound of a toilet flushing broke into his thoughts and he froze on the spot. Oh. She’d just gone to the bathroom. He sighed in relief and headed back to the kitchen, getting out another plate and some silverware, then went back into the dining room and started setting up while Hachi came back and sat down.

“Great, more forks.” She muttered.

Bato chuckled a little, turning to head back into the kitchen. "It'll be easier than last night, trust me."

“I don’t think that’s a mistake we’re going to make again.” She replied.

He huffed, then went to the fridge and got out some syrup and butter, setting them down on the table and then sitting down himself. “Alright, so these are pancakes.” He explained. “You eat them like the… um… the breakfast from the other day.”

Hachi’s nose wrinkled in disgust, and her tentacles curled up a little.

“--That is, you put butter and syrup on them to flavor them.” He continued. “Go ahead, try some.” He pushed the bottle of syrup toward her.

Hachi paused, then picked up the bottle and flicked open the cap. She sniffed it, looking a little weirded out. She poured a little on her plate and then licked some off her finger, immediately recoiling.

“Not a fan?” Bato asked.

"Why do you make everything so sweet?" She asked. "Eeegh..."

He couldn't help chuckling a little. "It's what we like, I guess." He said with a shrug, taking the bottle and drizzling some on top of his own pancakes. "You don't have to put any on if you don't want it."

Hachi hesitated, then cut off a bit of butter with her knife and then tried that, face scrunching up again.

“We don’t usually eat butter all by itself.” Bato explained. “Try putting some on a little bit of pancake and let it melt in first." He suggested.

She raised an eyebrow at him and then cut off another piece of butter, dropping it onto her stack of pancakes. She attempted to spread it, but ended up just tearing it while scowling in frustration.

"Let it melt a little first." He advised.

She sighed. “I hate that I can’t go a single meal up here without instruction...”

He paused. “It’ll get better.” As she tried to spread the butter, he dug into his own pancakes, nice, light, and fluffy. They weren’t quite as good as they could be, this box was a little old, but it was still just what he needed this morning. He glanced at Hachi as she finally got a piece of pancake into her mouth. “Well, what do you think?”

“… It’s okay.” She said.

“Not an orange, huh?” He asked.

“Nope.” She agreed.

He nodded and went back to cutting up his pancake. “So, I think I’m going to bring the backpack with me today, just in case you can’t handle walking.”

“Keep running to a minimum.” She snapped.

He nodded. “I’ll do my best.”

She nodded. "I've never thrown up while transformed and I don't want to find out how it works."

He grimaced. "Yeeeah, I can't imagine that would be pleasant."

Hachi paused. "...I say that and then I get curious, but I still don't want to know. especially not in a bag."

He couldn't help chuckling a little bit, but then nodded. "I'll try my best; hopefully we won't have a reason to run anywhere today anyway."

She. "And hopefully I can walk."

"Hopefully." He agreed, taking another bite of pancake.

They ate quietly for a while, until Hachi sighed glumly.

"... You doing alright?" Bato asked.

She shrugged. "I still hurt inside and out, and whatever these things are made of its weird."

Not knowing how to reply, he just nodded.

She paused. "Are these things made with the same thing as the sandwich?"

He nodded. "It's not quite the same, but they're both basically bread."

"Hm... is it plant?" She asked curiously. "Because it doesn't taste like meat."

"It's made with flour, which is ground-up wheat, which is a plant." He replied. "It's basically made by making a dough out of flour, water, yeast, and other things depending on the sort of bread you're making, and then baking it."

“Flour? Oh! I heard of that!” Hachi said. “I think more high up people get to have and use that… But… I thought it was made from grain?”

He blinked. “Well, wheat is a grain.”

“No no no, grain!” She said. “Little white bits about this big.” She gestured with her fingers.

He frowned a little in thought. Why did that sound familiar…? “Oh! We call that rice!” He said, finally making the connection. “Rice flour is a little bit different than wheat flour. Bao is made with rice flour, actually.”

Hachi nodded a little. “… I’ve been missing out on stuff like this all this time...”

Bato gave a huff, only a little amused. He got a text and realized he’d left Jill hanging, pulling out his phone. Though, it wasn’t Jill, it was Toda.

T: u 2 bout redy?

T: rains stppd

"It's from Toda." He said. "He's wondering if we're ready to go."

“I need some water.” Hachi said. “Then I’ll be ready to go.”

He nodded.

B: Yeah, give us about 10 minutes T: k T: tahts probly hw lng itll tke me 2 gt 2 teh elvator nyway :P

Bato and Toda are Knitter’s characters

Hachi, Jill, and Simon are Shuckle’s characters.

Splatoon belongs to Nintendo.

Please consider liking or reblogging if you enjoyed, it’s nice to know we’re doing things right.

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#Better Eight Than Never #Splatoon #fanfic #Splatoon fanfiction #SS Simon #SS Jill #SS Toda #SS Bato #Octo Hachi

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