#golf of America

[pink-ys-world]

Since we're just changing the names of things to whatever tf we want, im calling the president Mr. PeePee PooPoo

[aestariiwilderness]

[arkangelo-7]

I bet that Bruce Wayne and Tim Drake, as the Batfamily’s resident corporate America breadwinners, have to occasionally go play a round of golf to keep up appearances with WE shareholders. The only problem is that they’re both fucking terrible at golf.

And when I say they’re bad, like, holy shit, they are really bad. For two people who often have to save the universe with their intelligence, concentration, and ability to effectuate incredibly complex, precision-reliant plans, they are both somehow really, really fucking awful at golf of all things.

Bruce, at least, has the Brucie Wayne disguise to hide how absolutely awful he is at golf. Which totally works for him, because he hates the reminder that he is inherently terrible at something. So, whenever he’s dragged out for a round with Lucius and the WE board members, he just pretends to get super drunk, act a little more clumsy then normal, and hits on the caddy until everyone just writes him off as too much of an ditz to put any effort into his golf swing. It drives Lucius nuts, because he actually likes golf and he thinks Bruce is just pretending to be bad as part of his cover for Batman—there is at least one occasion where he asks Bruce to show a little more decorum on the course and actually try to play, and Bruce just… blue screens. Because in reality he is actually horrible at golf and he needs the excuse of “dumbass Brucie Wayne” or his ego will implode.

Tim, however. Poor Tim.

Tim, unfortunately does not get to play the idiot to cover up his absolute shit golf game. (There is only so much room in the family for idiots and he has to keep up appearances as Jack and Janet Drake’s son.) As such, he avoids any and all golf courses as much as possible—but everyone once in a while there’s a potential merger or business deal he needs to discuss with someone important, and the best way to get the deal done is on a golf course. So Tim has to spend the next three and a half hours of his life torturing himself through a round of golf. (He ends up losing twelve balls, taking seven swings on a Par 3, somehow broke his putter, and tripped into a bunker.) The only upside is that his pure determination to actually finish the round, despite how godawful he is, is usually what actually convinces the investors/partner/board members agree to work out a deal with him.

But it’s best (or worse) when Bruce and Tim play golf together. It isn’t often—stories of their infamously terrible golf games means that most people will only invite one of them at a time—but inevitably they do end up on a course together at one point, and holy fuck, it is a miracle they don’t burn the place down.

[godesslexie]

Reblog if you wanna see more of the melons 💦💦💦

[ineffablesnakegender]

"I'd be happy to play golf with you if you can carry your own bag, think you can do it?" Which could mean nothing

[oldshowbiz]

Peter Pan Mini Golf

[jesevans]

Chris Evans playing golf 💙

[donaldtrumphats]

TRUMP MAGA GOLF SUNDAY EDITION, LFG!

[sexyvixen7]

Cap & Soldier Boy ❤️

[makosharkie]

The USA presidential debate today is proof we’re in the wrong timeline

[artcallednaturalviews]

Stupid Trump American waste

Trump American fraud

American Abuse

Been schooled with education

Is Trump renaming a way around to Easy drill?

It was once called Gulf of Mexico in documents

No renamed for(e) drilling

For(e) drilling

In the name of OIL

Oh I Love it rubbed!

[transparentgentlemenmarker]

The Birth of The Gulf Of America

rename the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America.

[thatgingerloser]

what a joke.

[thegoodmeow]

The Great Water Heist: Humans Have Decided They Can Rename the Ocean

BREAKING MEWS:

In their never-ending quest to control things that do not belong to them, humans have apparently decided that the Gulf of Mexico needs a fresh, new name.

Enter: The Gulf of America.

Because reasons.

Yes, dear readers, the water itself remains unchanged. The waves still wave, the fish still do whatever it is they do (I wouldn’t know, I don’t care). And yet, somehow, a group of humans has determined that simply calling it something different makes it theirs.

It’s a bold move. I respect the audacity. However, as a cat, it’s my duty to remind everyone that just because you call something yours doesn’t mean it actually is.

Otherwise, I would have already renamed the couch “My Throne of Indifference” and claimed full sovereignty over the entire kitchen counter.

A Brief History of Humans Renaming Things That Aren’t Theirs

This isn’t the first time. Humans love renaming things they don’t own. Historical examples include:

🐾 Land – This usually ends in war, treaties, and a lot of passive-aggressive glances at maps.

🐾 Space – They put a flag on the moon and called it a day. (No one lives there. No one asked.)

🐾 The Internet – They keep adding “X” to things and pretending it’s revolutionary.

And now? The literal ocean.

What’s next? Perhaps they will:

• Rename rain to “American Sky Juice™.”

• Require a patent number for the wind.

• Make swimming a licensed activity.

Frankly, I wouldn’t put it past them.

Google Enters the Chaos

To make things even messier, Google—the all-knowing digital overlord—has decided to play along.

Except even Google seems confused.

Consider what happens when searching for this body of water:

• Search in the U.S.: Gulf of America

• Search in Mexico: Gulf of Mexico

• Search elsewhere: Gulf of Mexico (Gulf of America) — apparently, indecision now reigns.

It’s like when humans can’t agree on a pet’s name, so they just mash them together.

(Looking at you, Mr. Whiskers McFluffington Pancake III.)

Should We, as Cats, Care?

No.

This is 100% a human problem.

However, it’s an excellent reminder that humans will argue over literally anything.

Meanwhile, we cats have a far simpler approach to ownership:

🐾 If we want something, we take it.

🐾 If we don’t want something, we ignore it.

🐾 If someone else wants what we have, we sit on it just to make a point.

Honestly, Mexico and the U.S. could both learn a lot from us.

Final Verdict: Humans Are At It Again

• Will this name change stick? Maybe.

• Will it cause unnecessary drama? Definitely.

• Will I lose sleep over it? Absolutely not.

So, while humans argue over what to call a giant body of water, I will be here:

🐾 Sprawled across the warmest sunbeam.

🐾 Contemplating the mysteries of the red dot.

🐾 Wondering why humans waste so much time when they could be napping.

Oh, and one last thing—in actual news that matters—cat rescues everywhere need help.

If humans are so obsessed with renaming things, maybe they could rename “stray cats” to “future beloved family members.”

Now that’s a name change I could get behind.

📰 Reporting live from the top of the fridge, this has been The Good Meow.

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

There is something very funny to n me e that all of the quintessential “American” sports are all slow as hell and only maybe 20% actual gameplay.

Football. 3 hour game. Ball is in play for 12 minutes.

Baseball. Game lasts all fucking day but half the players sit on the side at a time, with the rest standing in a field hoping to catch a ball in the 10 seconds of actual gameplay every 5 minutes.

Golf. Just a bunch of rich guys hitting a ball once every 10 minutes and then driving a cart to catch up with it.

The only real exceptions to this are basketball, which used to be really boring until they introduced a shot clock forcing a play on net every 28 seconds. And maybe nascar. But even then. Mechanically it is a very boring sport. They drive around in a circle a bunch. Like at least nascar has fast, loud cars, and crashes for spectacle.

[oldshowbiz]

Mini-Golf of Roadside America