#goingblind
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Flash Finale
Hell. Hell in a body. Hell in a head. That’s what this flashing does to me. It makes my life into hell. But why? Why am I so very much desiccated by it? Why do I let it dictate my mood and make me want to do anything just to find an escape from it? The truth is, the more I resist, the more it constricts me. Like Devil’s Snare (if you get the reference). The harder I kick out at it; the harder it kicks back. The more attention I give it, the more it drags me down into the marsh of anxiety and helplessness. The obvious solution would be not to give it the attention that translates into suffering. And not treat it as a malicious demon in my head and for what it is, and that is simply my body not functioning as it should. . I would say that it would be more doable if it remained at a constant level. But some days it is so much worse than others, and this makes it very hard to preclude as I will be thinking it’s getting better and then it suddenly is screaming at my poor head. That’s the best way that I can describe it. It’s as if the brain is receiving emergency signals from the eye saying that there is something wrong. Do something about it. Every flash is stimulation to the brain. I would equate it to a stabbing pain everyone must have had at some point in their lives. It is that stabbing pain that makes you switch your attention to what is causing those nasty pain signals to be fired up to the brain.
It’s the invasive and unescapable nature of it that makes the flashing so hard to deal with. When I close my eyes. It’s still there. When I put my hands over my eyes and scream. It’s still there. Even when doing meditation to take myself out of the mind, it is there, flashing away.
Here I am how ever many days later. It’s funny how I spoke about accepting and coming to terms with it, and then breaking down and going to A&E. It did give me some much needed assuring. A diagnosis, or an explanation, always help. I was scared that it would be this bad interminably and that it was a sign that the surgery had failed. I had many doctors look and scans done, and they think it is being caused by blood leftover from the surgery rubbing against the already highly-sensitive retina. And thankfully they said that this should clear by itself and slowly get better.
The relief was akin to a shot of heroine. Not that I’ve ever known relief. I Mean taken heroine. Unfortunately. But just knowing it it’s anything inauspicious and that it is going in the right direction does make things a little easier. Just a little. They also affirmed to me that I can’t do any exercise while I have the bubble in, except walking. That’s for another eight weeks. Combine that with medication that makes me hungrier than a cow in Slough, fat Freddie is only getting bigger. I ran 15km in January. How the great do fall. Time is a shit.
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Losing my vision has not made me less of a man but has definitely changed the type of man that I am When I was nine I found out that I was going to lose my vision. At that age I had no idea how profound and dramatic those effects would be. Socially, emotionally and physically most every part of my life has been drastically affected I slowly lost my vision. Having abilities and watching them fade away. Having choices and losing those options. Being in control and surrendering those decisions little by little. Through the years I have had many epiphanies to coincide with my vision loss. Seeing the world at one moment and unable the next has shown me humility for the things and people I could just as easily have taken for granted. I have felt extreme vulnerability at the need to depend on others that I may never have needed. This appreciation and love transcended and simple friendship rules of my youth. My desires and want have become more focused because I have had to be intentions with resources and time. I haven’t much sight left I cannot afford to waste it or how I spend it. I did not choose to have RP and lose my sight. But I have gleaned a vast amount of perspective from the world because it has forced me to. To see the world differently and at a different pace. I am now a stay at home dad who has the rare and amazing opportunity to see my child grow because I am forced to be home. Who knows how any of us are affected by adversity everyday? But hopefully we all find a way to appreciate our Worth in spite of what we see as a deficit. It took me my whole life to get here. I am worth it. So are you. . . . . . . . . #life #lifequotes #lifestyle #blind #goingblind #hope #love #newway reflection #changeisgood #changeyourlife #changeyourmindset #changeyourmind # #newstart #attitudeofgratitude #attitude #perception #differentperspective #perspective #motivational #motivationmonday #motivation #motivationalquotes #visualimpairment #lowvision #visuallyimpaired #visionloss #vision #worthit #rp https://www.instagram.com/p/B4K7s0sBExv/?igshid=dm3kr4jy61vi
#life#lifequotes#lifestyle#blind#goingblind#hope#love#newway#changeisgood#changeyourlife#changeyourmindset#changeyourmind#newstart#attitudeofgratitude#attitude#perception#differentperspective#perspective#motivational#motivationmonday#motivation#motivationalquotes#visualimpairment#lowvision#visuallyimpaired#visionloss#vision#worthit#rp
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Now For SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT (Finding out YOU need Reading GLA...
#youtube#readingglasses#needingglasses#poorsight#goingblind#centralcoastbass#scottkawa#kawabunga66#gettingold
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She stumbled around as if she was blind. The road ahead was gone ... . How do we move forward when we can’t see where we’re going? . One small step at a time. Minute by minute. Breathe. . . . . #fog #goingblind #unknownterritory #visitfaroeislands #faroeislands #smyrilline #atlanticairways #thefaroeislands #roamthefaroeislands #fog #nature #naturephotography #naturephotographer #femalephotographer #landscapephotography #ocean #weathergodsplayground #62degreesnorth #faroesebyheart #atlanticocean #islandgirl #birds #scandinavianwanderers #scandinavia #birdsofinstagram #cliffs #rawnature #simonechristinedotcom (at Faroe Islands) https://www.instagram.com/p/CAscd7Rjqvx/?igshid=8bc7zthc2fei
#fog#goingblind#unknownterritory#visitfaroeislands#faroeislands#smyrilline#atlanticairways#thefaroeislands#roamthefaroeislands#nature#naturephotography#naturephotographer#femalephotographer#landscapephotography#ocean#weathergodsplayground#62degreesnorth#faroesebyheart#atlanticocean#islandgirl#birds#scandinavianwanderers#scandinavia#birdsofinstagram#cliffs#rawnature#simonechristinedotcom
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Getting old. Eyes getting dull. @liz_newton_designs bought me some cheap reading glasses to make fiddly work easier on me. Wow big difference! #goingblind #hipsternerd #eyeglasses #penshoppe #penshop #laundryroom
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The #visual #visualcortex is an amazing #brain structure where #light is #processed and #understood by the brain. #trauma to this region can cause #blindness. #blind #goingblind #neuroanatomy #neuroscience; Like, follow, support @rougepoptart for more science, health, and physiology https://www.instagram.com/p/B2zIcbZlC4n/?igshid=pf5pjw56ri6e
#visual#visualcortex#brain#light#processed#understood#trauma#blindness#blind#goingblind#neuroanatomy#neuroscience
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I need new glasses! Age problems! Eyesights getting worse! #blind #goingblind #nono #itsnotbecause #ofthat #dirtyminded #people #ageproblems #gettingold #amold #older #howold #ancient #fossil #glassess #stuble #pierced #smile #instagram #instagood https://www.instagram.com/p/BsKsMPgnClJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1kdkew4s19mwr
#blind#goingblind#nono#itsnotbecause#ofthat#dirtyminded#people#ageproblems#gettingold#amold#older#howold#ancient#fossil#glassess#stuble#pierced#smile#instagram#instagood
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Handsome squad I'm dying
♡
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Not all blind people are totally blind. It breaks down like this. -Blind - you have no sight. -Legally Blind- is about 80% of people who are considered “blind” meaning they have some degree of vision but it is so severely impaired it is a disability. This ranges from only knowing if it’s light or dark, to seeing shapes or silhouettes or maybe some side or tunnel vision. Each condition creates different patterns of vision loss. - visually impaired or low vision- refers to a persons visual ability and encompasses a wide range of vision loss. But typically they may be disabled or close. I am saying all of this because I have lost 95% of my vision except a very small hole in the center of my vision. So I still see a little bit. But I cannot drive or run or read print. When I am out in the world with people or on my own I am usually using a cane. Often I can see things or people. This seems to confuse people and I hear them say “he’s faking or that guy can see.” Think of it more as being on a small piece of ice in the ocean but it is melting and you don’t know how long it will last. This is uncomfortable for me/US as blind people as a condition already. but we are not deaf and we have feelings. And we may actually see you. So When or if you see a Blind person or someone using a cane they are just another human being trying their best. You don’t have to go silent or “freeze”, up against a wall like a spy movie. We like to talk and it’s nice to interact with other humans once in a while. Perhaps even offer some assistance. We might need some. In any case I hope this clears up some misconceptions about blindness and the wide world of it. Take a chance make a friend. We are good people too. . . . . . #blindlife #blind #goingblind #lowvision #rp #rpawareness #visionloss #visuallyimpaired #funfacts #funfact #helpful #helpfulhints #helpingothers #motivationalmemes #changingperceptions #inspirational #inspiration #goodtoknow #needtoknow #ididntknow #nowiknow https://www.instagram.com/p/B0cU1tgh-ww/?igshid=f03oluhb035g
#blindlife#blind#goingblind#lowvision#rp#rpawareness#visionloss#visuallyimpaired#funfacts#funfact#helpful#helpfulhints#helpingothers#motivationalmemes#changingperceptions#inspirational#inspiration#goodtoknow#needtoknow#ididntknow#nowiknow
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ANyoNE ELSE GETTING LIGHT MODE AND GOINGBLIND on tumblr howdo i FIX this ))
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This is my life people - I’m actually going blind, I knew I was - I knew that when I took photos that couldn’t tell if they were clear or not - that I had to check later so I just pressed click and hopes for the best - I knew that when I looked off in the distance I couldn’t see clearly and when I took off my glasses I could see a bit clearer and I couldn’t see very well close up either - but this was a shock - I didn’t think it had gotten this bad - what else have I gotten wrong? I even knew this cinder block was there - I thought a cat was sitting on top of it and I had to get almost on top of it to realize there was no cat - I thought the cat was beige and white - one by one my faculties are leaving me #goingblind #blind #chronicillness #backyard #slowlydying #summer #justmowed #dogkisserinternationalheadquarters (at Dogkisser International Headquarters) https://www.instagram.com/p/CB1XQ7pJQBs/?igshid=1a9732e8a3wxq
#goingblind#blind#chronicillness#backyard#slowlydying#summer#justmowed#dogkisserinternationalheadquarters
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Princess has appt with eye Dr on Monday afternoon. Hoping for good news. Please if you're able to help just $5 PayPal us via friends and family to [email protected]. This way fees are not taken out but you still get your tax write off. Also plz share if you can. Thanks all!! #pitbullsofinstagram #pitbull #pitsofinstagram #rescue #pittielife #rescuelife #helpasisterout #allergiessuck #goingblind #fosteringsaveslives #adoptdontshop #pitsofinstagram #goingblind #rednose www.pitessentialsrescue.org
#rednose#pitbullsofinstagram#rescue#helpasisterout#pitsofinstagram#fosteringsaveslives#adoptdontshop#goingblind#pitbull#rescuelife#pittielife#allergiessuck
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#breakfast #php #nerdfun #goingblind #mikevilogi #links #michaelvilogi
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Hope everyone enjoyed Mother Natures once in a life time design! & yes... here comes a picture of the sun ☀️🌑 #solareclipse2017 #mothernatursdesign #nofilter #moodlighting #onceinalifetime #socool #goingblind #raleighlife #raleigh #northcarolina . . . . #designer #design #designlife #designlove #designnerd #designinspiration #ncdesigner #interiordesigner #boriginal #boriginaldesigns (at Glenwood, Raleigh)
#goingblind#designnerd#onceinalifetime#northcarolina#interiordesigner#boriginaldesigns#socool#design#designlife#raleighlife#moodlighting#ncdesigner#nofilter#mothernatursdesign#solareclipse2017#boriginal#raleigh#designer#designlove#designinspiration
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Just staring at the sun. ☀️ #eclipse2017 #goingblind #cantseeshitwiththeblastshielddown
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