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nujeskz · 15 hours

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[from the start] taesan x f!reader | 4.0k words college au, classmates to lovers, making out, alc consumption ++ terrible drunk decisions lmao, angst kinda, misunderstanding, mutual pining, fear of physical touch at first, everyone is just a little confused note. sorry this took literally so long to finish, i kept changing my mind on how i wanted it to go. fun fact the original idea for this fic was based on my real life situationship. hope u guys enjoy <3

you shouldn't be here. you should be sleeping off the alcohol flowing through you in your own bed, at your place. you shouldn't be here, pressed against taesan's chest, your mouth molded against his.

up until a few hours ago, han taesan was nothing but a fleeting memory. just someone your friends brought up once in a while to watch the way your cheeks flared up in embarrassment. he was part of the past, an unfortunate moment during your freshman year in university. your friends didn't know about the guilt that ate away at you every time the boy's name crossed your mind.

the two of you had met in english, deskmates who bonded over the frustrations that came with your shitty professor and endless essays. complaining about class turned into hushed whispers while the professor wasn't looking, adding each other on socials and snapping silly pictures back and forth, walking back to the dorms together. because... why not? taesan was cute and you couldn't help but chase the feeling that came with every interaction you two shared.

you never thought it would turn into anything, until your friends pointed out the obvious: he liked you. taesan liked you. the way your hair flowed so prettily, the way you smiled at all of his stupid pictures and the way your eyebrows furrowed at the professors nasally voice.

the two of you had an undeniable connection, and it ended with the two of you sitting on his bed watching a movie together on his roommate, sungho's, tv.

flirty glances and brushing hands turned into his hands running up your arms, breath hot on your neck as you tangled your fingers in his dark hair. having him like this should've felt like heaven, but instead your chest tightened and your body tensed, to the point where taesan pulled away from you, looking into your eyes and softly asking if this was okay, if you were okay.

you should've told him the truth, you were just scared. you hadn't done this before, not with someone who you felt so deeply for. you just wanted to slow down a bit. but instead you faked a smile and just said that you remembered something your friend had asked you to do, ignoring the stab in your chest as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you pulled away uncomfortably quick and left without another word. that was months ago.

the last you'd heard from him was hours after you left; he'd apologized profusely, saying he'd misread things and you tried and tried to reassure him that he did nothing wrong. you wished he could read your mind so you didn't have to face the fact that you were a coward and you'd hurt him in the process.

taesan thought that night would be the last time he'd see you. he could tell something was wrong, and he'd figured that you'd never want to see him again. but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to blame you, hate you, nothing.

...

"seriously? you're not mad.... at all?" sungho sat up in his bed, staring at his roommate in disbelief. "dude, she literally led you on and ghosted you." jaehyun chimed in, shaking his head at the younger boy. taesan shrugged and went back to tuning his guitar, covering up the sounds of his friends' scoffs with the vibrations of the strings he plucked. they thought he was hopeless, and secretly, he agreed.

...

after months of radio silence, it was safe to say that taesan was not expecting his phone to ping with a message from you.

you tried to move on from things with the music major, joking away your pain with your friends and going on dates with other guys. it worked for a few months, but eventually thoughts of han taesan caught up to you. they plagued your mind for days on end.

late at night, lying in your bed and staring at the ceiling, you wondered how things could've been different if you'd just told taesan the truth. you thought it was easier to just run away and pretend nothing happened between the two of you, that you'd be at peace if you just went back to before you knew he liked you, before you knew you liked him too. in the end, it just left you feeling empty.

you hadn’t ever met anyone like him, something you hadn’t ever admitted out loud. you couldn't go back to the way things were before, he'd left an imprint on your mind like no one else.

the thoughts you tried to smother finally came up to surface on a breezy saturday night as you were celebrating your friend, yunjin's, 21st birthday party at her apartment. after more than a few shots and the truly you split with yeri, you felt like you were on another planet. you stumbled over to the living room, falling onto the couch and leaning your head back and closing your eyes.

after a few minutes of sitting with your intoxicated state, you lazily unlocked your phone, scrolling through your instagram timeline, attention focusing in and out. that was until you came across a certain set of pictures. you squinted, reading the caption.

tae23san take my tears @psungho @myungj4e

pictured was none other than taesan, sitting on top of a car with his head tilted back to look at the sky.

sitting up slightly, you carefully scrolled through the dump of photos taesan had posted: him posing in the booth of a recording studio, he, sungho, and jaehyun in a photobooth, a candid of him playing the guitar, a mirror selfie with sungho, and a solo shot of him.

the last picture almost took your breath away; he posed with a hand ruffling his own hair as he pouted his lips.

all at once, you felt every emotion you fought so hard to drown explode in your heart. you missed him. so much. your head spun with sadness, guilt, and longing. you wanted to- no, you needed to see him.

it wasn't long before the thoughts popped in your head.

why don't i just text him?

whats the worst that could happen?

it was bad idea, a terrible idea truly. but you couldn't help yourself, you opened your contacts and found your chat with him faster than you could blink. you fumbled with the screen, trying to type out a cohesive message to the boy you so desperately wanted to see.

[1:53 a.m.]

y/n: taesnjsnnnnn

y/n: i miss you

y/n: i'm soryry

y/n: can i swee yuo? please

...

taesan was hoping to have a peaceful smoke with his friends. he, sungho, and jaehyun had spent the day working on a project for their advanced music production class, and were now sitting on the couch passing a blunt around, some rnb songs floating softly through the air.

taesan breathed in slowly, sucking in the laced smoke and exhaling it softly, humming at the warm feeling in his limbs. he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, laughing at the feeling of the vibrations against his thigh.

"this is done for." jaehyun mumbled before flicking off the ash and placing the end on the side table. taesan watched him with hooded eyes as he stood up to stretch out his limbs, making sungho and taesan giggle.

"i'm going to my room." sungho stood as well, murmuring a similar quip before meandering over to his door. "don't forget to turn off the lights, san."

taesan groaned in acknowledgement, letting his head fall back onto the couch. not really wanting to sleep, he wondered if he should watch a movie or make some food.

the boy sighed in boredom, pulling his phone out of his pocket languidly and swiping through his notifications.

his already blown out pupils grew even bigger at the sight of your name in his notifications. he'd never gotten around to deleting your number -- he figured there was no point.

his eyes focused on the words next to your name. 4 unopened messages. he rubbed his eyes slowly.

was he really that high right now? or did you really message him. taesan's gaze jumped over to the timestamp.

10 minutes ago.

he hurriedly clicked the notification, tapping his thigh with his fingers as the screen expanded to display your texts. you were clearly a bit out of it, taesan smiled at your typos. his vision seemed to laser focus on the one text you didn't misspell.

i miss you.

taesan couldn't say he didn't feel the same way. despite sungho and jaehyun's relentless nags, he thought about you more often than he'd like to admit.

somehow, he knew something was up the fateful night the two of you had hung out. that wasn't you, he just knew it. or so he told himself. he didn't want to be mad at you, he didn't want to hate you. he had hoped for this day so many times. the day you'd tell him you didn't mean it.

taesan's fingers moved across the screen slowly.

[2:08 a.m.]

han taesan: hey

han taesan: where are you?

...

from the moment you hit send, you had suddenly been more alert, thoughts racing a million miles a minute.

what do i do if he responds? is he even awake? he just posted, he has to be. god, i hope this works.

you'd taken the leap, there wasn't any going back.

you begrudgingly lifted yourself from the couch you were sitting on, looking for your friends so you could take your mind off of the messages you'd just sent.

walking over to the fridge, you grabbed a water bottle to help you sober up a bit.

eunchae and chaewon did a great job at keeping you from checking your phone every thirty seconds. you laughed at their horrific job at playing pictionary against two guys yunjin knew, anton and sohee.

your two friends were losing bad, and you smiled watching anton and chaewon bicker, anton giggled at chaewon's reddened face. you hoped you'd remember to tease her about it later.

your phone buzzed twice in your pocket and you held your breath as you fished it out and tapped the screen. face to face with taesan's messages, nearly shrieking, you quickly typed a response.

you paused for a second, calculating your next move. you really wanted to see him, praying to god that he was free and willing.

[2:09 a.m.]

y/n: yunjins place. in source complex

taesan: oh

taesan: what room

y/n: 204

taesan: im 3 floors up

taesan: in 511

y/n: can i come up

taesan: yeah of course

while you were definitely a little more sober than 15 minutes ago, you still fought to not squeal into your hand. looking around, you searched for yunjin so you could bid her goodbye.

...

mellow music still floating in the air of the living room, taesan dropped his phone in his lap. he let out a shaky sigh.

whether it was the weed or the fact that he was about to see you after what felt like forever, taesan was suddenly very nervous, wiping his hands on his pants and slowly standing from the couch.

rubbing his arms, he looked around the apartment, unsure of what to do until you got there. he assumed you'd take a bit to leave your friends apartment and make your way up to his. taesan hoped you'd make it okay; he wanted to come get you but was honestly way too fucking high to leave his apartment.

"i guess i'll go brush my teeth or something." the boy mumbled to himself, walking over to the bathroom to fix his hair and make sure he smelled okay.

...

stepping into the elevator, you looked at your reflection as the doors closed, almost forgetting to hit the button for the fifth floor in the midst of smoothing your hair down and fixing your slightly smeared eyeliner with your thumb.

closing your eyes, you lightly rubbed your temples in a sore attempt to bring yourself back to reality, and to emotionally prepare yourself.

you were seeing taesan again, finally.

you hid your blush from literally no one and smiled slightly into your hand as the elevator doors opened.

...

standing in front of the boy's door, the weight of the situation at hand truly hit you.

what exactly did you want from this?

what did you want from him?

if you ended up hurting him again you wouldn't be able to forgive yourself. huffing slightly, you brought a hand up to your neck to fiddle with your necklace and think.

your dazed yet racing thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the front door to taesan's apartment, door swinging back to reveal none other than the music major himself.

"hi" you smiled and spoke quietly.

even though he knew you were coming, the boy somehow still couldn't believe the sight in front of him. it was really you.

you looked as breathtaking as ever in his eyes, your hair a bit shorter than the last time he saw you. taesan caught himself and chuckled slightly, moving out of the way to make room for you.

"come in."

you blushed as you stepped into the apartment awkwardly, not sure what to do with yourself. the alcohol was still making your head spin, eyes adjusting slowly to the sight of taesan's living space. you slipped your shoes off quietly and followed the boy as he walked into the kitchen.

"do you want some water? or snacks? we have chips and fruit, unless sungho ate them all. i think we have some juice too...." taesan's high had clearly not worn off in the slightest, and the boy winced after realizing he rambled on about the contents of his pantry for a full 30 seconds.

you couldn't have cared less, eyes focused on how pretty his hair looked brushed down in his face. making eye contact with him, you noticed the red tint to them, giggling quietly.

"we also have -- are you even listening?" taesan smiled at your starry eyes as you shook your head and laughed.

"god y/n- okay let's just go sit down." he watched you eagerly turn around and nearly skip towards his living room couch, settling right in the middle of the sofa.

the couch cushions were soft as they rubbed slightly against the exposed skin of your legs. shivering slightly, you wished you'd worn a bit more than just a crop top and denim shorts.

your gaze traced the lines of the wood on his coffee table, thoughts lost and scattered. you were just as blown away at the sight of him as he was of you. you recalled the sight of his larger hands shoved in the pockets of his zip up, wondering what it would feel like to have them wrapped around your own.

you wriggled your socked toes to a beat only you could hear, trying to take your mind off of the nervousness flowing through your veins.

"here." you looked up quickly to see taesan standing in front of you, about an arms length away. "i brought you some water."

taesan bit his lip to keep himself from smiling at the sight of you on the sofa. he looked around awkwardly for a second, not sure where to sit -- you were in the middle of the couch and choosing either side of the sofa would leave him sitting directly next to you.

"why are you still standing? come sit." you tilted your head at him and patted the spot to your right softly, smiling up at the nervous boy.

sighing out in relief, taesan plopped down next to you and settled into the corner of the sofa. you turned slightly so you could face him as he spoke, glass of water abandoned on the coffee table.

"do you wanna watch a movie?" he asked.

"is it okay to turn on the tv this late?" you shyly responded

taesan's ears turned slightly red in embarrassment. he 100% forgot about his two other roommates sleeping soundly in their own rooms.

while they probably wouldn't mind the noise, taesan didn't want to have to explain why you of all people were in their living room at this very moment.

"if you're okay with it, we can watch something in my room, i can play it on my laptop." taesan spoke.

your cheeks burned slightly at the idea of seeing the boy's room but you hummed in agreement, standing up quickly. the sudden movement caused you to stumble a bit. taesan stood up after you, wrapping a hand around your arm in an attempt to steady you.

"are you okay?" he turned you to face him fully, hands resting lightly on your shoulders as he looked at you worriedly.

your breath hitched at the mere inches of space between the two of you. taesan's gaze left you speechless, and your eyes searched his face before landing on his lips.

for every minute that had passed since you sent that first fateful text message, the anticipation had been eating you alive. deciding you couldn't take it anymore, you pulled yourself up by the collar of the boy's hoodie and pressed your lips against his.

his mouth was plush and unmoving against yours and you let yourself close your eyes and savor the feeling for a moment before lowering yourself back onto your heels.

opening your eyes, you mentally geared yourself for the awkward conversation you feared was about to ensue. taesan, on the other hand, barely gave you a moment to breathe, chasing your lips the second they detached from his. slipping a hand behind your neck, he tilted his face down and sealed his lips over yours once again.

taesan's mind raced as he bit your bottom lip, wondering what this was going to lead to and if he'd regret it. he decided he couldn't care less when he felt you tilt your head to the side and push your tongue in his mouth.

you craned your face upward and grabbed the sides of his sweatshirt tightly, like he might disappear if you let go of him. you needed more of him.

you broke your lips from his for a split second to ask where his room was. taesan mumbled something you couldn't hear before pulling you by your shoulders. the boy's mouth didn't leave yours for a second, only pulling away to push his door open.

you opened your eyes slowly, looking up to meet the taller boy's hooded gaze. you turned around and took in the sight in front of you. taesan's bed was in the corner of the room, posters hung above a small desk. you smiled at the tangles of wires on the floor, leading to a small speaker system and bass guitar.

"gonna go turn off the lights and check the door." taesan's voice rasped. you hummed in acknowledgement and stepped forward into the room slowly.

you walked over and climbed onto the boy's bed, bringing your legs up so you could hug your knees. staring at your socked feet, your mind was completely blank. when taesan came back you were absentmindedly fixing your hair and shirt, not even noticing the boy's return.

"are you okay?" taesan asked softly.

you looked up to see his eyes on you, smiling at the way hands were politely tucked behind his back. he was nervous, hoping he didn't overstep or make you uncomfortable. taesan didn't think he could handle watching you run out his door a second time.

"okay?" you tilted your head in confusion.

"with this... being here with me." your heart panged with sadness, feeling so guilty for how you made him feel before. you wanted to make it up to him.

"i am. i want this. i promise, taesan." you watched taesan slowly process your words though his wavering high, smile forming on his face. his hands came up to push your legs down, and you scooted towards him, giggling and wrapping your legs are his standing figure.

taesan had abandoned his hoodie in the living room, now in a loose t-shirt. your hands scrunched the fabric of the graphic tee as you pulled the boy towards you again. taesan complied without a word, bending down to meet your awaiting lips. you moved your lips against his languidly, savoring each swipe of his tongue against yours.

taesan pushed your body backwards so he could climb on the bed with you. you scooted back until you were pressed against the headboard, only staying there for a second before taesan pulled you onto his lap.

his lips went to your neck, pressing soft kisses and grazing his teeth against the sensitive skin. with each kiss, bite, and swipe of his tongue against you, taesan could feel you practically melting into his lap. eyes screwed shut, your head leaned back to further expose your neck and your fingers tugged at the boy's hair.

you slightly pulled taesan's face away from you, bringing your hands to gingerly cup his face. his eyes were slightly glossed over as you placed a wet kiss on his lips.

the last traces of your sobriety were thrown out the window, both of you drunk off each other. taesan thought you looked like an angel, bringing a hand up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. your eyes formed crescents as you smiled at the boy, and he swore he almost stopped breathing.

your hand came up to rest over his that was still cupping your face, intertwining your fingers. bringing them closer to your face, you opened taesan's and placed a featherlight kiss in the center of his palm.

"what was that for?" taesan mumbled in between giggles as he watched you continue to play with his fingers.

"thank you." your voice wavered slightly, eyes looking up to meet his nervously. you laughed at the puzzled look on his face before continuing.

"for giving me a second chance and letting me come over." you sighed shakily under taesan's gaze. "i missed you, a lot."

"probably not as much as i missed you." taesan replied softly, squeezing your hands and tilting your chin up to meet your wide eyes.

the moment that passed between the two of you was long and drawn out, you savored the feeling of weight being lifted off your chest. trapped in his eyes and tucked in his arms, you couldn't fathom missing the chance to have han taesan like this.

as the thick silence dissolved and taesan's aching lips found yours again, the two of you knew staying away from each other was ill-fated from the start.

[bonus — 10:54 AM]

blinking the sleep from your eyes, you lazily searched taesan's fridge for a water bottle. as you shut the door, a loud crash abruptly pulled you out of your sleepy daze. coming face to face with myung jaehyun, you let out a yelp of surprise.

"no fucking way." he spoke. a bowl of dry cereal lay at his feet, contents now strewn across the kitchen tiles.

ears turning red, you realized how insane you must look: your hair was untied and messily brushed down and you were wearing nothing but an old tshirt and some boxers taesan had given you.

"what happe- oh god." taesan said from behind jaehyun, having rushed over to the kitchen to check on you. it was safe to say the last thing he expected was to see you and his roommate staring open mouthed at each other. flustered, taesan opened his mouth to explain, but jaehyun interrupted him with a loud sigh.

"fuck you tae, now i owe woonhak 20 bucks."

...

taglist: @iweirdthingsblog @yjwkisser @sulkygyu @enhyven

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nujeskz · 1 day

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ꕥ maybe this time; — taesan one shot, wc: 1.7k, genre: angst, fluff

the schoolyard is filled with the usual noise of after-class chatter, but taesan hears none of it. his focus is solely on her—the girl with the easy smile and the kind eyes that always seem to be looking somewhere else. she’s sitting on the low stone wall, surrounded by friends, her laughter ringing out like a melody he can’t quite reach. he stands a few feet away, hidden in the crowd, blending in as he always does. it’s safer that way, quieter, less painful. but today, there’s a dull ache in his chest, sharper than usual, reminding him of all the times he’s let the moment pass.

they’ve been in the same class for years, sharing the same space but never really meeting. taesan knows her name, her favorite subjects, and the way she twists her hair when she’s nervous. he knows she loves the first snow of winter and that she always picks strawberries out of her lunch. he knows these things, but she doesn’t know him—not really. not beyond the occasional smile in the hallway or a polite nod when their paths cross.

he’s told himself it’s fine, that admiring her from a distance is enough. but today, something’s different. maybe it’s the way the sun is setting, casting a warm glow on her face, or how she throws her head back in laughter, carefree and radiant. maybe it’s the way his friends nudge him, teasingly whispering that he should finally make a move. whatever it is, taesan feels the urge to cross the invisible line he’s drawn for himself. his heart pounds, loud and insistent, urging him to take a step, just one.

but fear is a stubborn thing. he’s too aware of his flaws—too quiet, too awkward, too much of everything he wishes he wasn’t. she’s surrounded by people who fit seamlessly into her world, and taesan feels like an outsider looking in. he watches as she glances his way, just for a second, her gaze brushing past him like he’s invisible. it’s a tiny moment, a fleeting glance, but it’s enough to send his hopes crashing down.

he turns on his heel, biting back the frustration that wells up inside him. why is it so hard to just say something? anything? he imagines a thousand scenarios in his head—what he would say if he weren’t so scared, how she might smile back, how they could walk home together talking about nothing and everything. but reality is cruel, and those daydreams crumble under the weight of his insecurities.

taesan stops at the school gate, leaning against the cold metal as he watches her from a distance. the shadows are growing longer, the sun dipping lower, and with it, the last threads of his courage unravel. he shoves his hands deeper into his pockets, feeling the sting of another missed chance.

maybe next time, he tells himself. maybe tomorrow, or the day after that. but deep down, he knows that the next time might be just as elusive, just as unreachable as today.

the sky darkens, and taesan walks away, the sound of her laughter fading into the background. he doesn’t look back, but the memory of her stays with him, lingering like a half-finished song.

the laughter of your friends fills the space around you, light and carefree, but your mind drifts elsewhere. there’s a familiar weight on your shoulders today, a sense of something just out of reach. you glance around, your gaze sweeping over the schoolyard, half-listening to the conversation but not really hearing it. it’s then that you catch sight of him—taesan, standing alone near the school gate. he’s always been quiet, blending into the background, and you wonder, not for the first time, what’s on his mind.

you’ve seen him around, of course. the quiet boy with soft eyes who always seems to be on the periphery. he’s in your classes, sometimes sitting just a few desks away, scribbling in his notebook or staring out the window, lost in his thoughts. you’ve never spoken much, just polite exchanges here and there, but there’s something about him that draws your attention, something you can’t quite put your finger on.

today, though, he looks different—tense, like he’s carrying a secret too heavy to keep. you watch as he hesitates, his shoulders stiff, hands shoved deep into his pockets. he seems on the verge of doing something, but then he turns away, his expression shuttered and distant. you don’t know why, but the sight of him walking away stirs something inside you, a flicker of disappointment you weren’t expecting.

you wonder what he was thinking, standing there alone while everyone else was caught up in the moment. you want to call out to him, ask him if he’s okay or maybe just say hi, but the words stick in your throat. it feels silly, reaching out when you’ve barely exchanged more than a few words before. but still, you can’t help but feel like you’ve missed something important, something that passed between you in a heartbeat without either of you saying a word.

the sun is setting, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, and you know you should be focusing on your friends, on the carefree chatter and the plans for the weekend. but your gaze keeps drifting back to the spot where taesan stood, now empty and shadowed. you wonder if he ever feels as out of place as you do sometimes, if he’s ever caught between wanting to be seen and fearing what might happen if he is.

for a brief moment, you imagine calling out to him. maybe you could catch up, ask him why he looked so lost, or just walk home together in the fading light. but the moment slips away, and you let it, too unsure of what you’d even say. instead, you turn back to your friends, forcing a smile as if nothing’s changed.

but you know something has. you can’t quite shake the feeling that there was something unsaid between you and taesan, something that could have been different if either of you had the courage to speak. you steal one last glance toward the gate, hoping he’ll turn around, but he’s already gone, swallowed up by the city streets.

maybe next time, you think to yourself. maybe next time, you’ll say something before it’s too late.

the sun dips below the horizon, and you try to forget the quiet boy with the faraway look in his eyes. but as you walk home, you find yourself wishing that, just once, he would come back. that maybe, this time, neither of you would walk away.

years pass...

the engagement party is lively, a swirl of laughter, clinking glasses, and old friends reuniting. taesan didn’t plan on coming; he never liked these kinds of gatherings, but something compelled him tonight. as he navigates through the room, feeling slightly out of place, his eyes catch a familiar figure near the corner.

it’s you. the sight of you sends a rush of emotions through him—memories of school, missed chances, and all the times he watched you from afar but never said a word. you’re standing with a group of friends, your laughter a soft melody that cuts through the noise. for a moment, taesan hesitates. it’s been years, and so much has changed, but something deeper than nostalgia pushes him forward.

you notice him just as he approaches, the surprise clear in your eyes. “taesan?” you say, your voice tinged with disbelief and warmth.

he nods, smiling in that soft, familiar way. “yeah, it’s been a long time.”

“i didn’t expect to see you here,” you admit, still processing the unexpected reunion.

“yeah, me neither,” he says, a hint of nervous laughter in his voice. “i almost didn’t come.”

there’s a brief, shared silence, filled with the weight of years and all the things left unsaid. but then, as if no time has passed, the conversation starts to flow. you talk about the mutual friend whose engagement you’re celebrating, the twists and turns your lives have taken, and the quiet nostalgia of school days that feel both close and distant. it’s easy, effortless, and taesan finds himself smiling more than he has in a long time.

as the evening drifts on, the two of you gravitate away from the crowd, finding a quiet spot on the balcony. the city sprawls out before you, a sea of twinkling lights and distant sounds. taesan leans against the railing, stealing glances at you when he thinks you’re not looking.

“you know,” he finally says, breaking the comfortable quiet, “i always wanted to talk to you back then, but i never had the guts.”

you turn to face him, surprised but not entirely. “i noticed you too,” you confess, a small smile tugging at your lips. “i always wondered why you never said anything.”

he chuckles softly, shaking his head. “i guess i was scared. scared of what you’d think. scared of not being enough.”

there’s a vulnerability in his words that pulls at something deep inside you, a sense of recognition that goes beyond just old high school memories. you’ve always wondered about him—the quiet boy with the faraway look in his eyes, the one who never quite stepped out of the shadows. and now, standing here with him, it feels like a missing piece of your past is finally falling into place.

“why didn’t we do this sooner?” you ask, half-serious, half-joking, but the question hangs between you, heavy with what could have been.

taesan meets your gaze, his eyes filled with a quiet determination that wasn’t there before. “i don’t know,” he admits, voice low but certain. “but i’m glad we’re doing it now.”

he reaches out, his hand brushing against yours, and you don’t pull away. the touch is gentle, yet it carries all the weight of your shared history, all the missed moments that led you to this one. you intertwine your fingers, feeling the warmth of his skin, and suddenly, the years of distance between you don’t seem to matter anymore.

the city lights dance around you, and for the first time in a long time, everything feels right. taesan’s arm slips around your shoulders, pulling you closer, and you lean into him, content in the quiet certainty of his presence. the past is behind you, and the future feels wide open, filled with all the possibilities you were too afraid to reach for before.

this time, there’s no hesitation, no fear. just the quiet promise of a new beginning, shared between two hearts that finally found their way back to each other.

disclaimer: this, in no way, reflects the idol. this is purely fiction. a/n: "maybe this time" has been stuck in my head more than usual... ✧ comments and reblogs are appreciated! ✧ give my other works a read too!

taglist: @en-dream ｡･ﾟﾟ･ @onedoornet

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nujeskz · 1 day

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Heartbreak girl

Trope: friends to lovers

Pairing: Taesan x reader

Synopsis: Taesan’s tired of seeing y/n crying due to her stupid boyfriend. He's also tired of being just y/n’s “best friend”, he wanted to be more.

Author's note: inspired by the song “Heartbreak girl - 5 seconds of summer".Haven't written in so long so bare with me yall HAHAH <33

warnings: bad grammar </3

“You call me up

It's like a broken record

Saying that your heart hurts

That you'll never get over him getting over you “

It was 10:54 pm and Taesan was just in his room listening to “I don't love you” by MCR. It was quiet in Taesans room. It wasn't unusual but it was too quiet..He missed the sound of her laugh..her voice..her in general. That girl was his best friend, Y/n L/n. His friends would tell him to make a move but he couldn't. Especially since she had a boyfriend. He let his mind wander randomly till it was interrupted by a vibrating sound that stopped his music.

“Y/nie calling..”

Taesan would usually ignore calls and messages but Y/n was an exception. He sat properly and cleared his throat before answering. He felt nervous..was it because he was just thinking about her few minutes ago?

“y/n?”

“Taesan..we fought again.”

Taesan never liked Y/n's boyfriend. Not because he was taking Y/n from him but because he was a jerk. He would break up with Y/n then get into a new relationship then after a month or so he would go back crawling to Y/n. The problem was, Y/n always goes back to him..

“What happened..are you okay?”

“He said I was being obsessive because I wanted to be with him..He said he was hanging out with Maya later..”

“Then I found out they were going out on a date..again.”

“Y/n..I told you to stop going back to him..You guys always fight then break up then get back together..aren't you sick of him?”

Taesan’s heart clenched as he can hear Y/n crying through the phone.

“And you end up crying

And I end up lying

'Cause I'm just a sucker for anything that you do”

“Try not going back to him Y/nie..Just this time please..”

It was quiet for a while. Which felt like an hour to Taesan.

“Uhm..When's your band performing again?”

Right..Taesan had a performance this friday.. Taesan loves music. He played,listened,made,danced to music. It's like Taesan can't function without it.

“Uh, this Friday, Why?”

“Can I be your date for it?..Justin was supposed to be my date but he canceled at the last minute and is taking Maya instead..”

Every year we have festival day. Where all students go to school on a Saturday and go to the festival where clubs have small booths where you can sign up or try. Then every night there would be performances like dance shows, theater, musicals and bands. This year Taesans band was lucky enough to be one of the students performing. The seniors had to bring a date to the night show. Where there would be photobooths, stargazing, confession walls and kissing booths.

“Hello? Taesan, are you there?”

Taesan was zoned out. He was shocked that Y/n..His Y/n.. was asking him to be her date to the night show. That was his chance to win her. To show her that he's better.

“Uh yeah sure. I'll pick you up at 4:40pm?”

“Okay! Can I watch you practice tomorrow? Or is it a secret~”

“Sure you can watch. We're gonna practice after classes till like 6. Is that okay?”

“Yup! Good night, Taesanie! See you”

Omg.. Taesans' world was suddenly coming together..

Authors note: SO THIS IS VERY SHORT BUT ILL MAKE PT2 HOPEFULLY THIS WEEK <33

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nujeskz · 2 days

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favorite one 𝜗𝜚 song eunseok | ch. 07

07. friends that are delulu together stay together ✷ masterlist / next

you’ve confessed to eunseok a total of two times: once in eighth grade and once in eleventh. both times ended in rejection—something you’re not exactly proud of. now, as you begin a new chapter of life with university starting, you can’t help but feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke as you keep orbiting around the same guy who turned you down twice.

genre. not exactly friends to lovers, she fell first he fell harder, invisible string

featuring. fem! reader x eunseok, pahn thitta as yn, ot7 riize, aespa’s giselle, enhypen’s jake, le sserafim’s yunjin

author’s note. i fear that i’m y/n whenever a guy treats me nicely

taglist. send an ask to be added! @nctsshoes2 @yoursyuno @dutifullyannoyingfox @nakam00t @yipyipmorals @myungjaesgf @romehan @kriize @dearestjake @cherrytaesan @blurryriki @kyusqult @sngj08 @enhacolor @onlyhyunjin @ch2won @nujeskz

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nujeskz · 2 days

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જ⁀➴ dirty little secret chapter 8: idk who to slap

m.list | prev | next

a/n: yay 😁 next chapter… anton and yn first official date? what will they do?

synopsis: living with your older brother had its perks, including easy access to his hot best friend

taglist is closed !!

🏷️- @selleprotection @gacktsa @cylovesmg @cherrytaesan @f4irynono @mokkaamo @givemeakith @taroddori @leebitofficial @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @g0niki @wonpoem @ningning1527 @streamluckybyriize @ant-onie @sunooslover @saranghoeforanton @serinebsblog @winuvs @onlyhyunjin @lynnimini @dearestjake @sasfransisco @nctjunie @angelpiixie @https-yeonjun @i03jae @nujeskz @astro-doll-the-star @lcvehee @ss1ren @imuziawi @dutifullyannoyingfox @pink-lemonadefairy @yyangj3lly @urstrulynini @s9nwoo @bearbeom @totheseok @horijiro

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nujeskz · 2 days

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when pigs fly 10. a christmas miracle

prev | masterlist | next

in which you you’re always butting heads with kim leehan in your brother’s minecraft server, but everyone else thinks that you two just can’t keep your hand off of each other. which could be the case… though you highly doubt that when leehan enjoys blowing up your houses more than considering asking you out.

author’s note. wait why is this so slow burn (says the author)

network. @onedoornet

taglist. @shoberi @lionhanie @molensworld @antlix @winuvs @icewons @dalliesque @taroddori @astrae4 @mintyun @cherrytaesan @saintriots @noodlesfeet @nujeskz @fae-renjun @tocupid @onlyhyunjin @otblous @haoahae @soobiverse @cyjzzl @hyukarina @renjunsversion @naviiy @sngj08 @etherealiitty @lailols @lunaavity @i05wook @idksomecreativename @wonpoem @injunnie-lemon @xcosmi @7thgyu @i1uvc4ke @selleprotection @papichulomacy @haechology @kage-yaa @dimplewonie @hanbinniesmango @horijiro @tkooooop @luvvhaerin @p-d1ddy @darlingz99 @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @enhacolor @lateforthisappgirl

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nujeskz · 2 days

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when pigs fly 09. ho is u falala ?

prev | masterlist | next

taglist. @shoberi @lionhanie @molensworld @antlix @winuvs @icewons @dalliesque @taroddori @astrae4 @mintyun @cherrytaesan @saintriots @noodlesfeet @nujeskz @fae-renjun n @tocupid @onlyhyunjin @otblous @haoahae @soobiverse @cyjzzl @hyukarina @renjunsversion @naviiy @sngj08 @etherealiitty @lailols @lunaavity @i05wook @idksomecreativename @wonpoem @injunnie-lemon @xcosmi @7thgyu @i1uvc4ke @selleprotection @papichulomacy @haechology @kage-yaa @dimplewonie @hanbinniesmango o @horijiro @tkooooop @luvvhaerin @p-d1ddy @darlingz99 @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @enhacolor @darlingz99 appgirl @miyawwn

reblogs appreciated!

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nujeskz · 2 days

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: ̗̀➛ OUT OF MY LIMIT ; han taesan smau

⌗ synopsis - two years ago after an argument with your best friend, you vowed to never speak to him again. now, two years later, he’s come to you for help getting two of your friends together.

⌗ pairing - exbsf!taesan + fem!reader

⌗ contains - college au, angst, fluff, a lot of swearing, suggestive jokes, potential smut (i will add a mndi!) ᵎᵎ - written chapters.

song - out of my limit by 5 seconds of summer

⌗ taglist - @nujeskz (let me know if you want to be added :)

PROFILES.

: ̗̀➛ CHAPTERS!

one : shut up i’m talking to myself

two : ouch

three : #sungter ᵎᵎ

four :

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nujeskz · 2 days

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: ̗̀➛ OUT OF MY LIMIT ; CHAPTER THREE

#sungter ᵎᵎ

tw ; mention of alcohol.

the music vibrated through your body as you, winter, and belle walked into jaehyun, leehan, and riwoo’s apartment. you could already feel the vibe of the party giving you a much-needed mood boost, but the one thing in the back of your mind, dimmed that.

it was the first time in two years you had been in the same place as taesan. you very diligently avoided any place he could possibly be, but you knew you couldn’t keep doing that to yourself forever. it had been far too long and you knew that everyone around you was started to feel annoyed at your behavior.

you finally had to admit it to yourself that it was childish.

“belle!” you heard a voice shout just to turn and see riwoo pushing his way through the partygoers with a red solo cup in hand.

belle’s face lit up as she turned to him and they greeted each other with a hug. winter and you turned to each other and giggled at them.

“okay so how are we going to get you to talk to sungho?” you ask winter.

“were not!” she says as she slides through to the kitchen and quickly makes herself a drink.

you groan, making yourself a drink as well and when you glance up you make eye contact with the last person you want to see. you quickly divert your eyes, but you can already feel his presence moving closer.

when you look over to see if winter is still beside you, you realize she’s not, and there is no one to save you from this situation or the tightness in your chest.

“y/n.”

“hm?”

your response actually throws him off. “listen, i’m not talking to you to try and bother you. and i’m not trying to make amends because i’m well aware it isn’t that easy. i just need help with something.”

“what could you possibly need my help for, taesan?” you ask in exasperation, finally looking up at him. he’s still tall. slightly more muscular than the lanky boy you once knew. his features are more sculpted than they were before.

“can we talk somewhere private?” his face scrunches up as he asks the question, almost as if he’s bracing himself for rejection.

“fine.”

taesan lets out a sigh of relief as he cocks his head in a “follow me” motion, and you oblige. you can’t tell if it’s because your curiosity is getting the better of you, or you’re finally growing out of your hatred for him, but something has shifted in your emotions towards him.

the two of you step out onto the balcony of the apartment and you both stand there in awkward silence for what feels like hours.

“go on then.” you state, growing a bit impatient.

“ah, yeah. so you know sungho?”

you scoff. “obviously i know sungho.”

“right yeah, that was stupid. anyway, i think sungho and winter like each other, but he refuses to talk to her. i don’t know if she’s saying anything about him to you, but i was thinking we could… you know… work together… to get them together.”

you look at him in disbelief. “you want me to play cupid with you?”

“well, yeah i guess so.”

you stand there for a moment thinking over his proposition. how did he think this was going to work? why me? winter did like sungho. but in what world were you and taesan the most capable to get them together?

“and you think we're qualified to do that?” you almost laugh at the thought. you had never been in an actual relationship, and who knew what taesan did with his time.

he sighs. “we’re the closest people to them obviously.”

“do you have any actual plan on how?”

“well no- but just think about it.”

you groan. “i guess i’ll think about it, but this is stupid. they could just talk to each other.”

“duh. but they’re not going to do that, so we could think of something.”

“i’ll still think about it. this is kind of dumb.”

“it could be fun though? like old times?” taesan’s voice is laced with hope as he says that.

despite the unusual guilt in your stomach, you nip the hope in the bud. “it will never be like old times.” you shake your head, turning away and heading through the sliding door back into the party.

throughout the night, you had tried to just let yourself have fun, but you couldn’t due to the end of your conversation with taesan. just like old times? did he think that just because you had a conversation with him, that you forgave him? he said it clearly, he’s not trying to make amends.

it left a bitter taste in your mouth that he was asking you, who he fucked over, to help out his friend. how noble of him. the thought made you scoff.

“are you okay?” belle asked. “you seem out of it.”

“yeah, i’m okay. i think i’m going to head out early. i have work in the morning.” you explain to her, only half lying.

“oh.. do you need me to come with?”

“no it’s good. you have fun.” you smile at her and she says goodbye, giving you a hug and a kiss of the cheek before you leave.

as you sit and wait for the uber, you can’t help but to ponder on taesan’s plan. what’s the worst that could happen? you both wanted to help out your friends. you knew you had to shove away the feelings of bitterness in order to do something nice.

you got in the back of the uber and leaned your head against the window, pulling out your phone to text taesan.

masterlist | last | next

synopsis - two years ago after an argument with your best friend, you vowed to never speak to him again. now, two years later, he’s come to you for help getting two of your friends together.

a/n ; yn # 1 (fake) hater

tags ; @nujeskz @cherrytaesan @molensworld @sungmincity @tkooooop

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