#going completely crazy at this point
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#going completely crazy at this point#when they kiss im afraid its over for me#also#this.. might be the best thing i've drawn in a while#so hope y'all like it as much as i do!#agathario#agatha all along#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agatha x rio#agathario fanart#lesbian art#evgarart#Spotify
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hermann thoughts: if i discredit newton and his approach enough, the martial won't give him the equipment for his kaiju drift, and i can protect him from himself. if he despises me for it, so be it. there is little i wouldn't sacrifice to see him safe.
newt thoughts: this is a Best Science competition and i have to Win
#unscientific aside#newmann#pacific rim#thinking about them again today#it's very easy to read hermann's animosity during the movie as him being pissed off at newt for his 'completely crazy'#theories getting attention + being a massive nuisance in general#that's exactly what it looks like if you just listen to WHAT he's saying#however if you pay attention to WHEN he says it & pay attention to his face when no one is looking it's very clear there's more going on im#like the kaiju entrails comment. newt has all these tables with guts set up right next to the line & has clearly been working there for age#theres a big pile of intestinal-looking tubes over on hermann's side of the floor already! not a peep from hermann!#but then when newt tries to join the conversation he happens to throw another little squidgy bit & suddenly hermann jumps on him about it#brings up in front of the marshall how CONSTANT this unprofessional conduct is while also cutting newt off#he physically puts himself between newt & pentecost#interrupts newt every time he tries to talk#starts making snarky little personal comments AT newt to discourage him - 'don't embarrass yourself' 'yes [just get to the point]'#'this is the point where he goes completely crazy' [significant look at newt]#keeps hovering in the background looking between newt & pentecost#like. ok he is SO MAD that newt is getting pentecost's attention here. obviously#the thing that does it for me though is how sad and resigned he looks when newt finally does get to the point#this is not the face of an angry rival#this is the face of a man with ulterior motives for his animosity#i dont think newt has any ulterior motives hes aware of lol he thinks hes in a movie about 2 geniuses vying for scientific superiority#happens to be in love with hermann but hasnt realized because hes so mad at him all the time#he only realizes how much hermann cares when he offers to drift with him
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Danny runs to Gotham after a reveal with his parents gone wrong. Bruce Wayne ends up catching on to the fact that he's a homeless kid in need of a good home. Danny, however, does not want to deal with another rich, potentially-insane, definitely-obsessed A-hole, so he does his best to steer clear of him. Doubly so when Batman takes an interest, as he want to put his hero days behind him.
Eventually, Danny, sick of running and wanting a way to make the two stop hunting him, decides that he should let someone else adopt him instead. Cut to him being found by Harley Quinn, who decides that she should totally pull a Bruce and adopt this black-haired, blue-eyed child. Hopefully Ivy won't mind!
#dc x dp#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc prompt#danny phantom#danny fenton#poison ivy#harley quinn#batman#Ivy is hesitant at first#she does eventually warm up to Danny#Harley and Ivy are anti-heroes#Not going completely crazy anymore but still willing to do less morally right stuff#They do eventually figure out Danny's powers but don't care#Catwoman is his aunt#She shows him how to pickpockets#Batman is upset that he wasn't able to adopt this child#The Joker breaks out at one point and Danny beats him to a pulp#Both because he hates clowns and for Mama Harley#He got so many hugs and presents afterwards
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You know I was wondering if Crocodile ever did have any kind of involvement with the Revolutionary Army in secret (lest the Government finds out and revokes his Shichibukai status), what kind of involvement would that even have been
And now, with both the Vegapunk/Ohara flashback and Kuma's flashback, it's being made very clear to us that the Revolutionary Army was broke as hell 22 years ago. Like the fact that this has been brought up twice now in a relatively short span of time is interesting to me, that's usually a sign it's not an unimportant plotpoint
But you know who would have had money to help fund the Army
A funny little warlord who would eventually go and build a fucking casino to run for funsies. A warlord who had to give the Government some of his Pirating Income to keep his warlord-status
Like Crocodile hated the Government anyways so why not help fund the Revolutionary Army in secret, out of spite if for no other reason
Vaguely related, but I keep on remembering this scene (post-Enies Lobby), which at first glance just seems like a basic Lore Dump
But then there's the
"Yet..."
(Or "however", she says "no ni" in Japanese and you could translate that in many ways, I would probably have gone with "however" but that wouldn't have fit into the speechbubble)
Mind you, the conversation just kind of ends there, next we see Garp realize he probably shouldn't have mentioned Dragon infront of such a massive audience, so wherever that "yet" was going to lead to we will never find out, because Oda conveniently changed the subject before we got to it
And you know. Like yes, Robin could be just expressing her shock over finding out that the leader of the Revolutionary Army had a child with someone
But also, Robin was a part of an organization that was trying to overthrow one of the founding countries of the World Government in an explicit attempt to go against said Government (compared to like, Blackbeard, who currently wants to make Fullalead into a "pirate country" that's a part OF the World Government)
Like you don't have to be a genius to look at Crocodile's ultimate goals and compare that to what Dragon is doing and find a few similarities here and there maybe
(Also like, Crocodile's equivalent in Romancing SaGa 2 is meant to be Wagnas, the queer-coded leader of the Seven Heroes (whom the OG Shichibukai are based on) who "hoped to help the world". You know, an interesting detail and all.)
Not to mention, during the time Robin spent with Baroque Works, if Crocodile was ever in contact with the Revolutionary Army at all, considdering she has the ability to easily spy on people and that she didn't trust Crocodile one bit, it wouldn't be unsurprising if she ever spied on Crocodile and/or just overheard a phone call or knew about Crocodile having secret spending habits or something
(Mind you, I'm not saying "she knew" Crocodile was involved with the Revolutionaries, more that she might've been Suspecting Things, that "yet" being about her connecting the dots while unsure if her conclusion was right or not)
Of course Crocodile's plans can't have been Dragon Approved by any means, especially considdering the Army had been looking for Robin for over 10 years (pre-timeskip)
Four years of which were with Crocodile. Like if he was FULLY allied with the Army and KNEW they were looking for Robin, surely he would've called Dragon and been like "hey I found the kid from Ohara, wanna come hang out" or something. But no, he had bigger plans and kept Robin a secret from the Revolutionaries and the Government alike
Also like, I have seen people question why the Revolutionaries weren't involved with Alabasta's rebellion at all, and "Oda hadn't come up with the Revolutionaries yet at the time of writing" (/"OP was meant to end at Alabasta at one point so there would've been no reason to introduce the subplot at that point") aside Between Baroque Works being a secret organization working undercover (thus the Army might not have been aware of the civil war being manufactured), the framing of the King making him look bad and very much the type of monarch that deserved to be overthrown in the Army's eyes, and Crocodile maybe lying through his teeth about what was happening in the country... Yeah, the Army's lack of involvement with Alabasta suddenly makes sense
EDIT Minor addition: Just realized that because Crocodile was technically working for the Government, if the Revs ever did send forces to participate in Alabasta's civil army and taking down the throne, the Government could've easily ordered Crocodile to step in to stop the rebellion and take down the Revolutionaries, right? Because he was supposed to be on the Government's side, right? And surely the Army wouldn't have wanted to fight against Crocodile if they were secretly allied (Croc's secret betrayal aside), and if Crocodile refused to fight the Revs the Government could've seen that as a reason to revoke his Shichibukai rights (which wouldn't be great if they wanted to keep Crocodile in a position where he could fund the Army?). So it could've also been a case of it being for the best for everyone's sake to let this one play out "naturally"
But my point is
I'm just deeply intriqued by these little details and wonder if I'm Actually Masterfully Connecting The Dots Like a True Genius or just seeing a pattern where there's none. Like this is far from confirming the theory, I'm just saying, the pieces do kinda fit together do they not
#Moon posting#OP spoilers#chapter 1097#I'm just saying Crocodile being the Revolutionary Army's Secret Sugar Daddy would be hysterical#Not me having to tag this as OP spoilers because of one and a half panels from the latest chapter lmao#Also Croc and Iva knew each other etc etc everybody remembers that I don't need to point it out#((Although in Impel Down Iva-chan does actually tell Bon-chan about Crocodile being imprisoned at Level 6))#((Saying ''he's crazy too in his own way''. Which is an interesting comment. IDK what to make of it. But it's there))#((Like Level 5.5 was able to access news from outside Impel Down to the point they knew Bon-chan had worked under Crocodile))#((To the point Iva-chan was like ''weren't you and Strawhat enemies''. So like. IDK I'm just Intriqued))#You could also make an argument that this could also tie into Crocodile's good ol' trust issues#'Cause if his involvement with the Army was ever found out he'd have his Shichibukai Rights revoked etc#Also interestingly the Kuma flashback has very much skipped completely the period of time during Luffy was born#Going from the founding of the Army 22 years ago to Ginny's kidnapping 14 years ago#Crocodad Real etc (jk)#You know the derangement is bad when I look at one irrelevant line of dialogue and go like ''is this about my blorbo''#OP Meta
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"I should've seen the signs" I feel like Stoick was basically reliving the way he lost Valka.
To him, after a lifetime of wanting nothing but to kill a dragon, Hiccup's suddenly and inexplicably changed his mind. To him, Hiccup saying he can't kill them is just like when Valka refused to and tried convincing others as well, then as a result was 'killed' by one herself.
To him, way Hiccup tossed his weapon and shield to the side then approached Hookfang while speaking about how dragons aren't what people think they are probably bares an uncomfortable resemblance to the way Valka put down her weapon and stared a dragon in the eyes and as a result was taken.
To him, attempting to do anything but preemptively defend yourself against a dragon will only end in tragedy, so he has to do anything he can to stop Hiccup before it's too late.
(And just like with Valka, he unintentionally escalated the situation by trying to protect Hiccup but only agitated the dragon, causing it to panic and react, inadvertently putting someone he loves in danger. again)
Stoick of course, wasn't acting rationally, but it makes sense when you think about how traumatizing Valka's 'death' must've been for him (and how much Hiccup reminss him of her); he watched her get taken, presumably killed, and couldn't do anything about it.
#THE PARALLEL GHSSHRBFK THE PARALLELS#'so everything in the ring was a trick? a lie?' he was so elated when he though hiccup was finally taking after him#he convinced himself so hard that This was the real hiccup he's finnaly going to be a proper viking a real member of the tribe#and he was so proud and glad he finally had something he could connect with his son over#but again he'd convinced himself of all that. he completely ignored everything hiccup had to say#in his eagerness to actually be a Family to actually bond with his child#he was so stuck with this fake image of Hiccup the Dragon Slayer he'd convinced himself of to the point#when it all fell through he felt almost betrayed#betrayed and scared#scared he made a horrible irrational and emotionally charged decision of essentially disowning his son#im not saying stoicks a good parent. hes not. but hes trying and alone and taking care of an entire village as well as hiccup#and all the unprocessed trauma and emotional repression#hes not great but hes not bad either. hes trying.#hes trying and its not enough but at least it got better#i love stoick#parents of autistic kids they dont understand moment#httyd#stoick the vast#stoick haddock#hiccup haddock#valka haddock#httyd analysis#maybe?#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#haddock family#moth.txt#also pls dont tell me abt how valka and the 2nd movie wasnt planned yet. ik that but i like expanding on things#and pondering a characters reasoning for certain decisions bc its fun and makes them all the more fascinating#post rewatch 1am thoughts go crazy (sorry if any of this is like redundant or confusing. im tired) if u read the tags ily
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why did I actually start tearing up a bit during the fakeout death at the end of astrobot wtf??
Im genuiely scared at how attached Ive become to this lil robot in just two days
#astrobot#i love this lil robot so much#Im going crazy actually i need to play astrobot at some point in my life#when I get a job the first thing Im doing is saving up to buy a ps5 and then buying a ps5 and then buying astrobot and the playing it#and getting platinum and then my life will be complete
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Apparently the Fenton kids were not the only ones with secrets, before Amity Park, the Fentons lived in Gotham, a city with a lot of curses and ghosts.
Maddie and Jack were excited, telling everything to his little girl, who was extremely bored, but at least she made a friend, some circus boy that was in the town.
His little brother was still to little, but he was friend of a Crime Alley's kid, Todd was an interesting boy, even if he was teaching Danny how to steal, he was a good friend.
Until their parents fucked everything, because of course they will, they created the "Fenton Memories" that was designed to remember everything, good experiences mostly.
But like every invention of theirs, it failed and did exactly the opposite, Danny and Jazz forgot their childhood friends, remembering them as a recurring and pleasant dream, and the parents, feeling guilty decided to move out of town.
Fortunately they found Amity Park, the perfect place for their portal, a lot of ectoplasm in the air that was waiting for them. And probably because they didn't want to make their children sad they never mentioned the "Imaginary friend" of Jazz or the "Dream Friend" of Danny.
Now, if only they remembered that information in their little vacations in Gotham maybe Red Hood and Nightwing will stop following them for "friend stealing"
#danny phantom#dp x dc#danny fenton#dc x dp#jason todd#dick grayson#The Fentons are good at lies#Jason and Dick are mad with them#jazz fenton#Jason and Dick are convinced the Fentons are mad scientists#and their kids needs help#They are not completely wrong#Danny taught Jason to read and Jason taught him to steal in return#Jazz and Danny think they're going crazy at this point
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me trying to comprehend the Late Stage Batman Pre-New 52 Saga (ressurection of ra’s al ghul black glove batman rip final crisis batman reborn red robin b&r 2009 batgirl 2009 return of bruce wayne)
#HELP. CAN ANYONE HEAR ME#trying to reread All Of That before I start my longfic. but oh god#there’s SO MUCH and it ALL HAPPENED AT ONCE and it’s all crazy crossover shit so#trying to find accurate complete reading guides is HELLLLL IM IN HELL#‘where did that character go?? what have they been doing? oh wait shit I missed something I must have read something out of order.#oh yeah I forgot I have to go back to read these issues from that other series. WHERE DID TIM GO? oh yeah. WHERE DID TALIA GO?#IS BRUCE DEAD AT THIS POINT OR ISNT HE? oh forgot about steph. oh forgot about jason. WTF IS GOING ONNNN’#anyway I’m having a great time<3#what the FUCK was final crisis you guys#trying to keep track of batman. detective comics. nightwing. robin. battle for the cowl. red robin. batman and robin. batgirl.#THERES SO MUCH GOD.#GET ME OUT OF HEREEEE I MISS YOU FLASH COMICS..
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I think saying Saltburn is simply "homoerotic" really erases the obvious queerness of it. Like, okay. Homoeroticism is definitely related to but also distinctly separate from queerness. It's like saying The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) is not queer because Tom doesn't kiss Dickie, or even Peter for that matter. Like no, the whole film is literally about the obsession and heartbreak of queer desire. I'd argue Saltburn does literally the same thing, though not to the same level of success or nuance (and this isn't shade, I love this movie even if I don't think it's, like, good). But to imply that Oliver and Felix are just best friends with an intensely close relationship is ignoring literally everything about the film. Like Oliver is pretty clearly infatuated, aroused by, and in love with Felix, in the same way Tom Ripley is Dickie. Like this is not even subtext, it is the text of the film. He licks a bathtub filled with semen-water and puts his penis in the dirt of Felix's grave. And while those things are certainly not as interesting, or even disturbing (!!!) as Tom killing Dickie and holding his lifeless body (and making Dickie hold him back) but there's no "heterosexual" way to read this. And I'm not saying that this is necessarily good, or that you have to like it, or that you cannot be disinterested in the way Saltburn handles queerness, but it is textually queerness. It is not just homoeroticism. There is textual desire.
#sorry I needed to say this#like it's such a stupid and vapid criticism of the film#and completely negates the point#if yoh think it's a bad movie#that's fine idgaf#but if your criticism is: they should have kissed in the movie about how queer desire makes you go crazy#that's not a great criticism#saltburn#saltburn 2023#the talented Mr Ripley#the talented Mr Ripley 1999
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yu yu hakonstruct intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men.mp4
crossposted to youtube
#pls excuse the lameass editing </3#ugh this is NOT a conclusive compilation btw#the way kuwa's like oh shit chu's like 5x stronger than rinku we're screwed i don't wanna fight him#and then the knife edge death match happens and he's like oughhhhhhh unga bunga fighting hot#yusuke has a lotta nerve being like damn you're kind of a masochist kuwabara and then turning around and going#(licks lips) ohhh if i fuck this up im dead hahaha#like you can't make this shit up im sorry it's just. THERE.#[clutching at my hair] DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE. I JUST NEED YOU GUYS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS BC ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi#kazuma kuwabara#yusuke urameshi#keiko yukimura#yyh chu#so when i put chu as a potential gay awakening point for them this is why i mean look at this#they have to know what theyre doing here right they have to know. head in my hands#nyarla dni#because ive been in kuwa's shoes here so it feels Very clear to me and i can't stop thinking about it. hes me#and it's so weird to know Exactly whats going on with him and yusuke and having it go *almost* completely unacknowledged in the show
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thinking about "you have a life" / "i don't know what i have" + "what do you want, dana?" / "i want everything that i should want at this time of my life" + the perceived shame in scully's loss of normalcy... "unlike you, mulder, i would like to have a life" + "do you believe in the afterlife?" / "i'd settle for a life in this one" + "don't you ever want to just stop? get out of the damn car? settle down and live something approaching a normal life?"
her friend ellen saying, "well, first you have to get a life." tara, pregnant with their christmas gift, saying that life before one grew inside her was "somehow...less, just a prelude," while barren dana cries in the kitchen. "i know you and dad were...disappointed...that i chose the path that i'm on."
thinking about how mulder said, "this is a normal life," and how she smiled. (he doesn't know any different). how, in the end, he said, "hey, scully? i know it's not your normal life, but thanks for coming out there with me."
(christmas before quantico, "i guess i'm afraid of making a big mistake. dad thinks i am." and missy's response: "it's not his life, dana.")
her application to adopt emily was rejected: "you're a single woman who's never been married or had a long-term relationship. you're in a high stress, time intensive, and dangerous occupation."
bill's reaction: "sounds like something your partner would say. this isn't about any little girl, dana. this is about you. it's about some...void, some emptiness inside you that you're trying to fill."
and mulder to the judge: "the fact that she can adopt this child, her own flesh and blood, is something i don't feel i have the right to question, and i don't believe anyone has the right to stand in the way of."
(that last christmas with missy before everything: "there is no right or wrong. life is just a path...just don't mistake the path for what is really important in life. the people you're going to meet along the way. you don't know who you're going to meet when you join the FBI. you don't know how your life is going to change, or how you're going to change the life of others.")
and ultimately, it all leads to a leather couch. and after contemplating that sacrifice of normalcy, what she should want, the decisions she could have made, she says, "i once considered spending my whole life with this man...what i would have missed."
she could've been a doctor, like her father wanted. she could've settled down, married waterston, had a normal life, like her friends and brother wanted. but what would she have missed?
"what if there was only one choice and all the other ones were wrong?" / "and all the...choices would then lead to this very moment. one wrong turn, and...we wouldn't be sitting here together."
#i truly believe that what's made this show so lasting and rich to so many generations#is how completely in touch with raw human experience it always was. there was always this kind of bleak undertone of...this is how it is...#and very rarely was it ever overcome or accepted or boldly subverted. it just was.#the pressures and the grief and the traps of abuse and trauma and power structures. this is how it is. this is how it feels.#'people thought the storyline and characters for x-files made it a 'dark' show but i never saw it that way.#i always thought mulder and scully were the light in dark places.'#my favorite quote about the show and why i think it's so comforting. it's the harsh reality of the world#of which mulder and scully are not exempt#but it's also mulder and scully going wherever they are needed with their unending kindness and their perseverance and their passion#and they bring all of those things to each other too. that's why she chose THIS life. despite it NOT being normal.#despite it NOT being what her father wanted for her. despite it NOT being easy. she chooses it over and again#because he is bringing light to dark places and she wants to be where he is and she wants to be doing important work. she wants to be#'on the side of the victim'#and that's rarely supported by societal structures and it's hard. but like she says#what would she have missed??#txf.txt#you people make me crazy when you dismiss her decisions and act like she Ruined Her Life or mulder Ruined Her Life#congratulations! you've missed the point!#all things#emily#dreamland
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because so much of my art inspiration and creativity was based in like, fanculture and popular media, i often feel like im just waiting around for the next thing i get invested in. first it was homestuck, and then it was demon slayer, and then i never really found "the next thing" i get hyperfixed on and make art for. idk if its because ive just become busier or if im just waiting around for something thatll never come
#ive also made a lot less art than i would have liked and its disappointing to me personally... but ive been making excuses for myself and#telling myself its because im not invested in anything anymore. but i shouldnt only ever have art inspiration when im hyperfixating#i should want to draw all the time anyways. like there was a point in my life where id go crazy if i didnt draw at least once a day and now#ive lost that completely#i hope there is an alternate universe where i felt like i was allowed to make art for the rest of my life and went to art school and became#an independent illustration who doesnt make enough money. lol
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i haven't even seen the episode yet, but learning about the fact that they didn't include such an essential aspect of the story is making me feel so irrationally sad
#letters from stephanie*#idk maybe it isn't essential maybe it's just too important to me... but without it you take away so much from lila...#she's not a crazy person that is too enigmatic for the audience to understand... lila is the character you feel in your soul#not explain in a few sentences. there is no Grand Secret of Lila to be revealed. you feel her or you don't and that's it.#yeah this is my hot take on lila. if the main takeaway is that she's a mysterious madwoman you're treating her the same#way all those men did. why can't we just feel things why does it have to be written in big shining letters#to be considered real and human. idk idk idk#she is surrealism the spirit of surrealism packed in a person and i think that is the truth of life. to misunderstand this is to completely#miss the point of lila as a character#which is that we as humans invent shapes to store the incomprehensible in and in that we take away from the reality of life#the raw beating heart of life. lila cerullo who has spent her life in one place who didn't get to go to school#understood and saw this beating heart of the universe and while studying history of her city she gets to...#extend the logic of it to the whole universe. she recognises these historical facts within her own being#she finds her daughter in these stories and she runs to her. i am so upset about this#i have to watch the episode though i can't betray my fundamental belief that you have to face life no matter what#ferranteposting#l'amica geniale#s4 spoilers#my brilliant friend spoilers#lila cerullo 🫀
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btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage
#and him trying to stop neil from asking if todd not reading at the meetings is okay isn’t him wanting not to go#its him not wanting neil to ask because (as someone with social anxiety) it’s EMBARRASSING ASF for someone to ask for things on your behalf#literally just think about it as the meme of ‘when i tell my friend im hungry and he tells his mom that *i* want food instead of both of us’#and the whole ‘neil not knowing how to take no for an answer’ thing…… dont get me fucking started#the kid who’s had to take no for an answer his whole life? the kid whose first proper scene IS him taking no for an answer? are you serious?#being encouraging and accommodating and (admittedly) a little pushy when he’s got his mind set on something—#—is NAWT the same as not being able to take no for an answer or bulldozing through conversations with people#he and todd DO listen to each other in those conversations theyre just on opposing sides—#—because their understandings of the world don’t fully align at that point in time/the movie#which is totally fucking normal?????? because later on they DO properly align?????????#i feel so crazy about this every time i see someone say todd didn’t want to go the dead poets meetings because it’s so obvious he DID#he was just scared#and you know what maybe it IS a little forceful#but given how dedicated todd is to shutting off and hating and isolating himself he NEEDS a little forceful to be broken through to#if no one ever pushed me to do things when i was scared (as irritated as it can make me) i’d never do SHIT dude#and obviously todd is the same way because he ALL BUT OUTRIGHT SAYS AS MUCH#‘i appreciate this concern but i’m not like you’ IS about neil’s voice and opinions mattering to people but it’s ALSO about—#—him being outgoing and trying new things and putting himself out there#WHICH TODD WANTS TO BE ABLE TO DO!!!!!!!!#the moral you take away from todds growth is NOT that he has to change to be accepted because he DOESNT#its that he has to gain the confidence and belief in himself to grow and become the version of himself he WANTS to be#he NEVER changes on a fundamental level to make others happy (although his growth does make others happy) he just opens up more#and i dont know WHY some people think his arc is becoming a completely different person#like yall PLEASE#this isnt even an anderperry thing this is an issue even if you read them completely platonic#i blame the FUCKASS novelization…. dps book you will always be hated by ME#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson
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...
#im at such a weird point in my life. trying to choose between a phd and a doomed life as an academic and like just not doing that.#its crazy how not terrible i feel when im not in school. just give me tasks to do and i will do them. dont let me think.#but then im just avoiding my responsibilities. i dunno. i just feel like i would be happier with a structured job that ends when the day#is over. which is y my dad thinks i should get a government job. one of my former lab mates got a government job and he's settling into#spending the rest of his life out in Colorado. which is so weird. i dont kno how long ill be in the place im in now. will it b 4 more years?#or will it be only a few months? will i go back to school in the fall? its looking like yes bc i dont have a job lined up. but maybe ill#keep applying and dip out. let my dreams die in favor of balance and sanity. maybe some things arent meant to be.#its just so gutting. i was talking to my coworker this week. saying that im interested in so many things. i could have studied anything else#and traveled a completely different path. and a guy across the room was like: its never too late. but it feels like its too late. too late#to spend another impossible amount of money on getting a different degree. restarting on a second masters project. im almost 30.#im supposed to b saving money so that i can not work forever. but i cant do that if im just a student forever. so maybe i should just get a#job. god. but theres so much i still want to learn. and im in the perfect program for everything i thought i wanted. im in the perfect place#but everything's falling to pieces. whatever. i. just tired bc im on day 5 of work and have to go in for a day 6.#doing something i havent done before all day. but after than im going home for a week. so ill have lots to contemplate in the airport.#this is not how i thought things would turn out. but im glad im spending the summer working where i am. im learning lots on a human to human#level. and no one bleieves im 27 bc i apparently have a bby face lol. nope im 11 yrs older than u my 16yo coworker#unrelated
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they could never EVER neverrrrrr ever ever do this even ryan condal would never cede such an “iconic” setpiece & “memorable” dialogue and even if he wanted to HBO simply would not allow it but in my minds eye ideal hotd adaptation of the battle of the gods eye completely discards EVERYTHING supposedly recounted/editorialized in fire and blood no anime dialogue no ultra choreographed fight scene no cinematic beautiful shots of the dragons dancing no leaping from dragon to dragon its actually like incredibly fast and loud and incomprehensible to the audience just beasts colliding and ripping each other apart dirt and blood and horrific and disgusting and ultimately super SUPER pathetic ❤️ daemon and aemond dont get to make any epic last stands theres no glorious blaze out, no chilling last words, no grand narrative, in the end it really is just two men thudding to the bottom of a lake and getting eaten by fish. make the craziest climax in the world an anticlimax. ultimate antimoment
#of course. this can only be in my dreams#hotd#my greatest idea is daemon doesnt even get his sword in the eye grand leap moment#cause like. Well physically that would be completely insane#they both get thrown together when their dragons collide and theyre both already dead from blunt force trauma#and the sword just kind of accidentally impales aemond lol#i just hate to see a character like daemon get somehow validated by the narrative as super cool and awesome and sexy etc#like for what? hes just a maaannn it’s just what you do. hes a human man at the end of it#cant ascend to godhood good buddy. better luck in ur next life. u sucked at this one#L + you have erectile dysfunction you cannot be legolas jumping on floating dragon scales. lame!#even if he did sink that sword in… its so pointless JDGDKSH. U ARE BOTH GOING TO DIE ANYWAY….#i love crazy awesome action setpieces i love good cool action directing i dont think it necessarily would even be bad#but i think it does cede some of its own point. i guess thats the whole ‘you cant make an anti war film’ thing again#daemons whole fucking deal is just so boring to me unless it’s undermined and subverted. i love when hes a whiny pathetic mess.#and NOT a slay dom daddy. aemond i cant even discuss he does not do anything for me.
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