#god it’s a defense mechanism; i know
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I am possessed by the ghosts of a million emotions
Every time I think about it I want to scream. Ten years. Ten empty years. I don’t want to think of them as wasted, I don’t dare. That way lies danger. A gaping, empty chasm of grief.
It’s difficult not to think of them as wasted. Some days it’s all I can think about. It feels like finally gasping in air after drowning, relief and adrenaline, yet still wondering if maybe the water was better. L’apelle du vide, soft but urging. When I was numb, I didn’t mind.
Now I do, and I have to live with the weight of that.
It’s a joke I keep hearing, in song lyrics, in the words of people on the internet, in the confessions of people I love: what do you do when you honestly thought you’d be dead by now? Only to be confronted with your own stubbornly beating heart that refuses to allow you to keep your youth. And you just have to. Keep…going? When the years you lost are the ones everyone tells you are the most important, the ones everyone writes songs about, and books about, and movies about. The only stories anyone seems to think are worth telling; the only lives that seem to matter. How do you grieve that? And how do you let it go?
I am screaming. It’s just inside my own head.
#Personal#French tw lol#Babes i know I need therapy im trying#someone please tell me im not alone#im tired of feeling everything and showing nothing#it literally feels like im a passenger in my own body sometimes#And you know what the worst part is?#it’s sometimes a relief#no let’s be honest it is a relief#to know no one can tell how i truly feel#it feels safe#god it’s a defense mechanism; i know#The mortifying idea of being known#Etc etc#Mental health talks#half talks#what is gender#what is anything really#existential crisis going on twelve years now#its going great boys
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"Love, huh?"
#i'm a big believer that scout was screamed at or punished by all the people around him because of his annoyance#brothers dates the mercs and etc#he's used to negative feedback and therefore feels really uncomfortable when he gets to be complimented or said nice things#his annoying behaviour is like some sort of defense mechanism#tho he likes to feel special to sniper. a lot#i know it's incredibly OOC but god just let me be delusional a bit. what's a girl to do#team fortress 2#team fortress 2 fanart#team fortress 2 comic#tf2#tf2 fanart#tf2 comic#tf2 sniper#tf2 scout#sniperscout#speeding bullet
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been on an old press conferences binge and we talk about how marc always zendaya laughs at everything vale says and does but vale is almost equally bad… definition of “i laughed at his jokes so he’d let me hit” except horrifically enough i think he genuinely finds marc funny???? and that’s how you know it was true love because marc is many things but funny is towards the end of the list. and this doesn’t really stop after sepang like the amount of times he tries to hide his smiles in his collar or behind his hand or under the rim of his cap is. sickening.
i was actually thinking about this the other day in the sense of like. this is what kind of fundamentally makes them work as a couple for me... because there IS obviously this sort of high melodrama inescapable falling out that is horrible and nasty and ten years on clearly dogs their steps and circulates in their brains over and over like someone has turned the washing machine on high, AND they both have a twin ruthless streak that makes their interactions with the competitors around them (and each other) calculated and tense and occasionally explosive, plus they have this joint wagon-sized reputation for being little assholes who dont really care about how certain aspects of their actions effect others (AND EACH OTHER!!! the callousness of someone who knows that they are more powerful than someone else, either in terms of speed or media control). BUT. they are also both just really, deeply, genuinely silly. like they are goofy. marc tiptoes out of his box so you dont hear his clown shoes squeaking kinda guys
and crucially its not an artifice! its not purely a performance !! though it can certainly have elements of that, its just. i mean most of the time when we see them interacting with other people (and for a bit, each other) theyre laughing ! hard ! or at least smiling, and while they go about it in different ways (vale more classically a prankster vs marc just wiggling his body in a semisexual manner) they both love to make other people smile and feel that sort of positive attention and be this object of delight to others. and for a brief time the person they wanted to delight the most was each other, and what makes it REALLY crazy is that it didnt go away overnight and they both have to DEAL WITH THAT.....
#idk i always need to have them make each other laugh when im writing them because for me thats what its about in a lot of ways#what if the person who betrayed you was also the one who could get you to laugh the hardest :/#also its a defense mechanism but thats neither here nor there#motogp#asks#rosquez#idk i know making something funny is hard but theyre SO funny... both as people and as like. a concept. theyre divorced motorcycle racers#and the divorce is the most serious thing in the WORLD to them. god thats funny... and idk i kinda wish more fic leaned into the funny#cuz thats who they are !!! they are goofballs and stone cold killers and tender and cruel#and sensitive and ice queens and vulnerable and callous !!!! my divas !!!!!!
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really feeling the weight of it all as an lgbt person and closet they/them as dems once again seem to think their moderate ass campaign wasnt “moderate” enough and start pointing fingers at trans people again as one of the minorities whose fault it is this time because the republican demonization campaign was too successful against them. and seeing people agree that the dems should just throw more minorities under the bus or whatever because it’s wokeisms fault for being too annoying and that’s why they lost… can i just live? can i just fucking live my life? i’m blessed enough to have the people in my life be truly caring and understanding, but i can’t help but feel crushed by the fact that people like me and the people i love the most are being cast as this fucking. lower class of person who must have done this to us all and must be necessary sacrifices to appease… who? i feel like any random person i pass on the street might hate me. i don’t know what to do. i don’t know how to feel okay again
#god i know this isn’t. particularly productive or anything#but maybe it’s bc. i work at an assisted living facility#and when i go into all these rooms 90% of them are blaring fox news#and i stand there polite while they spew anti trans garbage#and i say nothing. because i need my job#and these people are generally kind and polite to me#so long as i’m closeted. i’m sure.#i stay quiet like it’s a only a personality trait and not a fucking. defense mechanism#i hate it
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Needing to go to bed vs wanting to write hockey AU. Who will win.
(Bed. Dear god let it be bed……)
#chapter two is coming along sooooo well Nico said something homophobic and Jack said ‘no the fuck you wont in my (Percy’s) house’#nico is so silly. he’s so dumb. he will say something homophobic and then immediately come out as gay to the first person mad at him about i#I love making him so conflicted#sometimes he’s fine with it he’s accepted he’s gay and that he can exist in the NHL#other times he hates Jack and Percy for being out because they’re not even gay they don’t KNOW his struggle because they can at least PASS#and even more times he just acts like none of it exists because if it doesn’t exist it can’t hurt him#Nico was trying to come out to Jason but Jason beat him to it#pjo#jason grace#hoo#nico di angelo#jasico#I think most of the time Nico is okay with himself. but when he’s surrounded by his teammates he gets scared because of how his teams have#treated him in the past#so it’s a kind of trauma response for him to get spooked when someone makes a joking comment in passing#even if it’s a positive comment towards gay people he flips his shit#he’s just grown up getting so much shit for it that his defense mechanism around other hockey players is deny deny deny#they can CALL him whatever they want but as long as they never say anything past that#god this story became so much more fun when I gave Nico inner conflict
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id love love LOVE if i could pinpoint what exactly throws me into a dpdr episode but sadly ive experienced them in so many different situations that im nearly convinced that my brain is making up triggers. Because wdym im disassociating because I walked into a place ive been in 1000 times before? Like alright I get it when its an unfamiliar place(as much as I hate it, at least I know its a trigger) but seriously? a FAMILIAR place? Like brain, wtf are you even doing anymore?
#sometimes i understand if its a familiar room#like my bedroom for example!#i disassociate a lot in my bedroom#but seriously?#a restaurant ive been in before?#i would get if its only my 2nd-3rd time there#but 5th visit onward is just?#ITS NOT UNFAMILIAR!#actually dpdr#dpdr#dolirants#vent post#ig??#its so weird#i know its likr#my brains defense mechanism#and there's probably something triggering it#but god i would love if it just#didnt#thatd be great#because as much as i prefer my paranoia being blocked out#its unfavorable to not remember things because i was disassociated during it
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House is bpd coded i will not be elaborating v
#i WILL be elaborating actually I like to lie#just like. the way that the second he senses abandonment its like a switch flips in him#like ok. cuddy is going to abandon me time to display genuinely concerning behavior#in an attempt to eother drive her away or gove her no choice but to stay out of worry for what he’ll do#unstable relationships marked by dependence and manipulation#relationships few and far between but very intense^#extreme defense mechanisms to stop from being hurt by extreme tides of feelings#(acting like an asshole and never letting anybody in ever at any time)#dangerous reckless or sexually promiscuous behavior#drug addiction is also common in ppl with bpd but i donnt know if that one actually counts coz u know. his leg#idk hes like. textbook to me maybe im reading too luch into it coz im bpd amd i love house#house can have a little autism/bpd combination as a treat#ugh it really is hatecrimes MD 💔 god hates him#greg house#house md
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One thing that always gets me about the x files is when Mulder talks to some low level local LEO bumpkin about aliens or other fringe shit and they're like pfffft getta load of this jabroni! 😏
Are you fucking kidding me. If I was a county sheriff in shitsville, Iowa and a fucking fbi agent started talking to me about alien abductions my conception of reality would be blown to smithereens
#the x files#i know local police are often bitchy and resistant to outside intervention but like god damn#id be fucking out of it for days just reevaluating humanitys place in the cosmos#just utterly freakingout about advanced spacefaring civilizations swooping in whenever they feel like it#kidnapping ppl at random#and we have no effective way of preventing it#to say nothing of the whole dark forest problem#id havean existential crisis#maybe the cynical disbelief is a defense mechanism
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Heya! Hope you’re doing okay ❤️
well, i didn't cry today (and more importantly didn't cry at work in front of everybody) so I'm taking that as a sign that things are getting better...I hope 😅
#suuuuuuuuuuper awkward moment when i just started crying yesterday as one of my employees came up to me#(not one of the ones who went to HR)#and she was like 'uhm are you okay' and then i just told her to ask me what she needed to ask me lmao#god i'm just so embarassed that i cried so much this week#esp cause like. i hope it's not some sort of idk defense mechanism?#like did i just start busting out crying cause oh no my boss found out i'm not doing my job so i'm just gonna cry so she doesn't yell at me#or something like that and then keep crying to garner pity#cause that's certainly not my intention at all#i know i fucked up. badly. i'm not donig the job i SHOULD be doing#and was focusing on things i shouldn't focus on...especially like having my techs do their actual jobs#but that's my fault for not laying down the law#for not training them right in the first place for not giving them the proper expectations of what their job entails#but then they're crying that they're overwhelmed which hurts to hear when i see them disappearing just to come back with a cup of coffee#or talking to people across the building when there's no reason for them to be up there#or sitting on their phones while things pile up to be done#and then like my boss is now jumping in and is going to meet with them next week#and inserting herself and two of my other co-workers into the picture to help#which like yeah i need help. a lot of help. but they all have their own jobs#hell there's things my boss does really i should probably be doing#so knowing all of that and again just feeling like a failure at my job makes me feel even worse#like i'm not carrying my weight for the team--i've honestly never felt i have since i became supervisor#i don't think i'm meeting the expectations as a supervisor#as a tech? yeah i was a BEAST and maybe should have never applied for the supervisor job#and i even already told my boss long term career? def not in management for me lol and if i can get out of the supervisor job i will#but i would still want to stay with my boss and co-workers cause we're all trauam bondeded at this point from this workplace#but hey if the worst thing that comes out of this crisis is me getting fired for not doing my job maybe it'll be for the best#..........that's not making me feel any better though
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Guess who's thinking abt eg au again
#rat rambles#stars posting#eternal gales#so! if you dont know abt the human kids functions (which is incredibly likely) then long story short the whole basis of the story is that#each of them are tied to a functionality of their universe and as such when the universe is under threat theyre all brought to its core as#a sort of defense mechanism ok cool got it? got it.#anyways the party all have their functions albiet not all the ones that the human kids have because theresss not enough of them#also I gave sif one that does not exist in eternal gales proper but thats necessary for the time loop thing to work#but yeah bonnie is tied to the managment and creation of physical matter and the other 3 are all tied to various aspects of data storage#this is mostly used in story as like puzzle solving tools since unlike the canon eg kids they are actually doing shit and have a goal#mira is basically translatong external data into smth that the universe systems can understand#isa is the transferral of data from one part of the system to another#and odile is a mix of the data storage itself and the translation of it into smth more comprehendable by outsiders#she has to be a mush of two existing ones since again not enough characters to fill all of them#but this is relevant because that means that while the party still don't remember the loops at all they do have the tools to tell smth is#up asside from just siffrin acting weird#not enough to like fully figure it out tho since even odile can't just like. google search find the answers to things.#its just that as the loops keep trucking the data storage of course shifts and changes in ways that are noticable#like data storage in certain areas being like. weirdly packed and formatted for example#and due to their inherent tie to said data storage they can also to a very very small degree kind of feel the time that has passed#not in a major way. but like in a 'hm. something feels Weird.' kind of way#bonnie doesn't rly have this tho since physical matter is like The thing that is reset every loop#but yeah think of it more like having a billion tabs open and opening a new one and being able to hear your computer cry#except you dont know abt the previous tabs and as such its very concerning that shit is chugging so bad when as far as you know#yesterday it was running perfectly fine#it Can be excused as an oddity from getting close to the king but its still extremely sudden and jarring#especially combined with the other oddities of the timeloop tumbler#of course odile feels it the hardest which combined with her being odile means she's the first to rly look into it much#but isa also feels it pretty damn hard anytime hes doing his thing because god damn is it a nightmare to work through all that shit#mira feels it less but does still get that experience of interacting with the data systems and having it freak out on her a bit
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#my random stuff#delete later#I am genuinely sorry to those I hurt.#You did not deserve it.#It was cruel of me to do such things and I’m sorry you had to deal with it.#Anyway with that message out of the way god I feel bad for personality two.#She was just trying to avoid death or a psych ward and fought cuz that is all she knows.#She didn’t want to hurt people it’s just easier to act like you want it.#She wanted to keep people out of firing range but also if people leave it hurts and she needs people#She was conflicted and conflicting and she was doing her best in a situation she’s not supposed to be in#It doesn’t make any of it right#But god she is a defense mechanism and a fucked up one at that.
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Would love to see some content for Simon from Dinner in America or Colin Gray, you’re more than welcome to pick the subject matter, preferably female reader
。゚・ ୨୧ . i owe you a black eye and two kisses.
⊹₊ ⋆ summary. - oh, how he's missed his girl during his time away.
⊹₊ ⋆ pairing - simon / john q x fem!reader
✶ c.w. - nsfw freaky deaky time!! hard?dom simon, sub!reader, unprotected sex (WRAP IT UP.), p in v, car sex (in a volkswagen beetle...), public sex, STOMACH BULGE!!! facial, throat fucking-ish, degradation—but also praise, cowgirl position, overstimulation, hair pulling, very cutesy fic... (let me know if i missed anything!)
⊹₊ ⋆ note - back from the dead (laziness) and kicking it!! i hope i did this request justice as i haven’t written in so long… WHOOPS. its been literally ages since i wrote smut so i apologize if i’m rusty as hell doing this… PLEASE FORGIVE ME. anywho… LUSTKILLERS IS SO BACK BABY 🙂↕️
requests are open! <3
THE night was cold and you couldn't be more bored out of your mind. the windows of your red volkswagen beetle were down, the distinctive smell of the car gas filling the air around you. your leg bounced, the keys that consisted of plenty of keychain accessories clinking against each other, and your eyes traced over the rusty, tall fence that you probably counted all the diamond-shaped holes between each steel bar. how long have you been here? an hour? hour too early?
at the rate of biting at your own cheek unconsciously, there was probably a dent that was left inside your cheek from how much you've bit down on it. turning your palms over was a nightmare; your hands glistening with sweat from anticipation. you wanted to look the best. you wanted everything to be perfect.
you couldn't even remember how he ended up here; maybe you blocked it out. slightly tragic on your end, watching as your boyfriend was cuffed and put into the back of a cop car, the last thing you experienced together was your fingers loosely holding a cigarette for him. that feeling left you empty... and a bit sexually frustrated, due to the fact that he had promised to fuck you real good after his performance.
a masculine silhouette stood at the goddamned fence that you loathed, your eyes shooting up at the whirring sound of the mechanical fence sliding to the right, leaving the figure to leave. you let go of the cigarettes that laid in the cupholder, your slippery hands moving to unlock your car.
with a frustrated yell, you quickly wiped your hands on the seats on your car, restoring the dryness that easily helped you unlock your god forsaken car. you opened the door, ducking under the slight top ledge that you've hit your head on plenty of times. you were giddy like a child receiving their gifts on their birthday– squealing as you shut the door behind you and stood in front of the driver's side door, bouncing on the tips of your toes, and a smile spread across your face.
simon had that stupid smirk on his face, scruff all over his face, and his hair slightly grown out from the last time you saw him. he also had the same clothes on from the last time, the green jacket and black pants with the boots. it felt like the first time all over again, and god, that outfit made your pussy throb, and your knees were moments away from bucking and landing onto the dirt ground.
"didn't i tell you to get rid of that goddamn car? looks stupid, the ladybug print and all." simon said gruffly, a slight smirk creeping onto the corners of with lips, his siren-like eyes peering down at you.
you looked up at him with a slight pout and doe eyes, "i think it looks cute." you mumbled in defense. his eyes gleamed with a predatory look on you. cute, he thought. but what left his lips was just a mere scoff, his smirk turning into a smile... which was still somehow intimidating if you think about it.
"looks like a kiddie car, that's what it looks like." he taunted, making you playfully roll your eyes.
you huff, "i'm gonna punch you in the face... leave a black eye while i'm at it." your voice taunting, yet not really sincere. he only chuckled in response, "c'mere." he moved towards you, his lips swinging down to kiss yours, kissing away the pout that now disappeared.
his rough, big hands wandered towards your ass, gripping it with no intent of letting go. simon's kisses were one of a man deprived of lust and yearning, and he wasn't planning to let your breathe for air. his hands roamed around your backside, his feet pushing you back towards the silly-looking car, his right hand pulling at the door handle, swinging the door open.
simon's eyes opened from the kiss, his frustration growing from the lack of the backdoors your car had. he let out a groan, his lips unlatching from yours, his jaw clenching as he softly moved you aside, bringing the drivers seat forward so you two could hop in the back. his pants strained against his bulge, and the whine that left your lips made it even worse.
"give me a moment doll, your car is pissing me off." he grumbled, watching his head as he hopped into the small car, with you behind him, closing the door. he was sitting with his legs spread, you in front of him with little to no space at all, on your knees, which were already feeling rough from the material of the bottom the car.
you and simon made no time to push down your pants, his hands unbuckling the shiny belt that clinked once it unfastened from his waist, and your hands helped slide them down, his thick, long cock springing free, and you could've sworn your eye twitched at the sight. with the way he looked down at you and the non-existent space you left between your face and his cock, the feeling between your thighs released itself like a flood; your thighs pressing together in instinct.
"god, if you don't hurry it up, i might take matters into my own hands." he groaned out, swallowing dryly as his hands gripped at your hair; making you squeak out a quick 'sorry,' and your tongue quickly laid flat against the side of his cock; a hiss escaping simon's pretty lips. "fuck," he groaned.
you worked your way around his cock, your head bobbing up and down, trying your best to keep eye-contact with him as you bobbed. spit drooled down the sides of your mouth; the liquid pooling at the base of his cock, slowly sliding down his strained balls; the sounds of his grunts and low groans filling the small car.
he felt your right hand shift towards your sopping pussy; mewls leaving your lips as you rubbed your clit, heightening your senses, but also making you focus less on working his cock. simon noticed it, his grip on your hair turning into a makeshift lever, the control reeling to him as he started to guide your head up and down, his cock spearing at the back of your throat, hitting past the uvula. the feeling made you gag, spluttering more spit around his cock, the sight being messy as ever. he pulled your head from his cock, your right hand leaving your clit in response, and as your lips left his cock, it making you gasp out in air; your eyes watering from the intense throat-fuck that was definitely going to leave you sore, along with your poor legs that were soon to fall victim to his fucking.
"si, give me a moment–" you squealed, making simon laugh as he pulled you up onto his lap, laughter leaving from both your lips. "tryna get me put in jail again, doll? fuckin' in front of the prison i just got out of?" he smirked, his forehead touching yours.
"not my fault, si– oh!" you hum in response, which quickly turned into a gasp– which finally turned into a moan, his cock knowingly filling your tight walls. his hips piston upwards, his cock hitting the deepest part of your cunt. his hands held at your hips, guiding you up and down on his cock, creating a white, creamy ring around the base.
the car windows immediately fogged up, heat and sweat glistening on both your bodies, the occasional cocky laugh simon let out settled into your ears, making you shiver. your hips worked at a sensual speed, grinding and bouncing, alternating between the two, moans spilling from your lips.
his lips shut your moans up for a bit, before pulling away and murmuring, "so pretty bouncing on my cock, like the slut you are." he smiled against your shoulder, placing a kiss against it as he looked at you, babbling and panting. "feel that?" he whispered, pressing down on the bulge his cock made in your stomach, immediately making you start to crumble.
you looked at him, your hips started to falter and grow slower, your legs tired and your thighs shaking as the pressure built up, waiting to burst out. but you tried to keep your pace going, your hands on his chest as you whimpered.
your lips tried to form a sentence, only letting out broken words. "c–cum... i needa– hmph!" you cry out, feeling the vibrations of simon's chuckle. "can i–?" you whimpered, moments away from crying in frustration.
his lips captured yours once again, making you come undone. you came around his cock, clenching as your thighs tried to close at the feeling; high-pitched moans leaving your lips as you were sent into a fruitful bliss. "haah–! t-thank you, si!" you sigh, your hips stuttering, still lazily grinding, praying to god that simon finds his release, or you'd probably lose it.
simon groaned, nearing his release as he fucks up into you, your overstimulated pussy weeping and soaking. "m'gonna cum," he exhaled, and at his words– he came, but he planned to cum on your face, his hands making quick–but safe work, one shot of cum shooting inside your cunt, and when you blink, you're already on your knees, hot spurts of his warm cum hitting your face, your eyes closing. he let out a hoarse breath, "that was fuckin' tits," he laughed, hunched over. his cock started to soften, his hands making quick work and grabbed the cigarette pack and paper towel that sat inside the cup holder. he ripped a piece of paper towel, wiping your face... decently clean, but it was the effort that counted.
your eyes fluttered open to look at him, a smirk on his face as a lit cigarette hung from his lips, his rough hands cupping your face and stroking his thumb across your fucked-out cheeks. "you're one of a kind, y'know that?" he let out a sigh, fixing your clothes back on you, and pulling you up to straddle him again sharing a kiss, which tasted like cigarettes, but you didn't mind. you never had a problem with him and he never had a problem with you. the world revolved around you both and nobody else. his eyes twinkled at the sight of your eyes, and his face softened.
"ditto." you whispered, smiling.
#dinner in america#kyle gallner#kyle gallner x reader#simon dinner in america#simon dinner in america x reader#kyle gallner smut#simon dinner in america smut#smut#dinner in america 2020#john q#john q x reader#simon dia#simon dia smut#simon x reader#dinner in america smut#this might be too niche idk LMAOOO#wrote smut after 5 million years GOD it feels good
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Stroke of Midnight
Max Verstappen x Alonso!Reader
Summary: New Year’s Eve sees you crouched under a table, shoving grapes into your mouth as the seconds tick by in a desperate attempt to find love in 2025 … but it just so happens that love finds you a whole lot sooner than you expect
Note: Happy (almost) New Year! Wishing everyone a sweet and fulfilling 2025 ❤️
The club is too loud, too crowded, too much. Somewhere near the DJ booth, your father is probably breaking it down to the worst remix of an already bad pop song.
You don’t want to know what’s happening. You don’t even want to be here, except here is Monaco on New Year’s Eve, and it’s supposed to be magical. That’s what the internet said when you Googled it this morning. But so far, the magic feels more like sweat and regret.
And desperation. There’s no use pretending otherwise anymore.
Your legs cramp as you shift under the table, pulling your knees to your chest to avoid the sharp heel of a passing stranger. The white tablecloth is a flimsy barrier between you and the chaos outside — limbs, perfume, champagne flutes tipped at precarious angles.
You check your phone. Eleven fifty-seven.
“God,” you whisper to yourself, clutching the little plastic bag in your hand. “This is rock bottom.”
But is it? The thought stops you short. You could argue there’ve been worse moments.
There was your first boyfriend, for starters. The trust fund baby who somehow thought being wealthy made cheating excusable. “It’s not like I need you,” he had said when you caught him. Yeah, no kidding.
Then came the mechanic. Charming, sweet, and exactly what you thought you needed — until you overheard him laughing with his friends about how he only asked you out on a bet. The details are blurry now, but the humiliation is crystal clear.
And, of course, the summer of horror: introducing your third boyfriend to your dad, only to walk in on him rummaging through your father’s underwear drawer. “I just wanted to see what greatness looks like,” he had explained with a sheepish grin, clutching a pair of Fernando Alonso’s boxer briefs like they were relics from the Vatican.
Three strikes. You’re out.
“Not this year,” you mutter, shaking your head. This year, you’re taking things into your own hands.
You dig into the bag, spilling green grapes into your lap. Twelve of them. One for each second before midnight, each representing a wish for the year ahead. You glance at the clock again — eleven fifty-eight now. Two minutes to go.
Someone shifts the table above you, and you nearly choke on your gasp. The tablecloth lifts slightly, and a pair of curious eyes meet yours.
“What the hell?”
It’s a man — dark-haired, stubble-jawed, vaguely familiar, though everyone in Monaco looks like they could be a movie star. He’s crouched, trying to see past the shadows. You stare back, frozen.
“Are you hiding?” He asks, tilting his head. His accent is clipped and Dutch, which somehow makes this all worse.
“Uh — no,” you stammer, holding up a grape like it’s evidence in court. “I’m … I’m doing something. It’s a tradition.”
“Under a table?”
“Yes.”
There’s a pause. He blinks at you, then ducks his head fully under the tablecloth. “Alright, I’ll bite. What kind of tradition involves grapes and hiding under furniture?”
“It’s Spanish.” You’re not sure why you feel defensive, but you do. “You eat twelve grapes, one for each second before midnight, for good luck in the new year.”
“Good luck.” He glances pointedly at the table legs surrounding you. “How’s that working out?”
You scowl. “It’s not midnight yet.”
He snorts. “Fair enough. Carry on.” He starts to retreat, but something stops him. “Wait. Why under the table?”
“Because …” You hesitate, not wanting to explain that part of the superstition involves being in a confined space to focus your intentions. It sounds ridiculous out loud, even to you. “Because it’s quieter down here.”
“Right.” His tone is skeptical, but mercifully, he leaves it at that. “Good luck, grape girl.” He’s gone before you can respond.
The clock ticks closer to midnight. Eleven fifty-nine. You clutch the grapes tighter, willing yourself to focus.
“Okay,” you whisper, heart pounding. “This is it. Love. Luck. Anything but whatever the hell the last three years were.”
You pop the first grape into your mouth as the countdown begins, the music fading just enough for the crowd to yell, Twelve!
It’s sour, but you swallow it quickly, reaching for the next. Eleven!
The third grape is sweeter. Ten!
Someone bumps the table above you, but you keep going. Nine!
The fifth grape tastes like possibility. Eight!
You’re halfway through the sixth when the tablecloth lifts again.
“Sorry, but I just-” It’s him again, the Dutch guy. He ducks under the table fully this time, looking half-apologetic, half-curious. “I couldn’t help it. What happens if you don’t finish in time?”
You glare at him, cheeks puffed like a chipmunk. “Whuh ah oo doin’?”
“Trying to understand the stakes here,” he says, crouching beside you. “It’s fascinating.”
“Go ‘way!” You manage, scrambling for the eighth grape. Five!
“Is this, like, a universal Spanish thing? Or just your family?”
You shove the ninth grape in your mouth, ignoring him. Four!
“You’re really committed,” he notes, watching you chew furiously. “I respect that.”
You jab a finger toward the edge of the tablecloth, signaling him to leave.
“Alright, alright,” he says, hands up in surrender. “Good luck, truly. I hope it works.”
He disappears just as the countdown hits Three!
The eleventh grape is a struggle, but you manage. Two!
You grab the last one, cramming it in just as the crowd roars, One! Happy New Year!
It’s chaos — cheering, champagne popping, music surging back to full volume. You sit there under the table, sticky with grape juice and feeling utterly ridiculous.
“Happy New Year to me,” you mutter, wiping your hands on your dress.
Above you, the tablecloth shifts again.
“I had a feeling you’d make it,” the Dutch guy says, grinning. He’s holding two glasses of champagne. “Figured you might need this.”
You stare at him, utterly baffled. “Do you always bother strangers under tables?”
“Only the ones who look like they’re about to choke on tradition.”
You take the glass hesitantly, unsure whether to thank him or tell him to leave you alone. He raises his own in a toast.
“To luck,” he says simply, his smile oddly sincere.
You sigh, clinking your glass against his. “To luck.”
And for the first time in years, you think it might actually work.
***
The Dutch guy, whose name you still don’t know, doesn’t leave. You expect him to. After all, who bothers someone under a table, offers them champagne, and then sticks around? But here he is, leaning casually against the table, like this is his New Year’s Eve tradition too.
“So,” he says, studying you over the rim of his glass, “how do you know it worked?”
“What worked?”
“The grapes. Your luck in love.”
“It’s not instant,” you reply dryly. “I don’t think someone’s going to walk up and propose to me tonight.”
“Shame,” he says, smirking. “Would’ve been a great story.”
You roll your eyes, standing up carefully to avoid smacking your head on the table. The club is still throbbing with music, the crowd a drunken sea of sequins and suits. Your father is nowhere to be seen, probably charming half the room with drunken stories from his glory days.
The Dutch guy follows you, holding his champagne like it’s an extension of himself.
“So, do I get a name?” He asks.
“Do I get a name?” You counter.
He laughs, setting his glass on a passing waiter’s tray. “Martin. Martin Garrix.”
It clicks immediately. The Martin Garrix. You’ve seen him on magazine covers, his face plastered on Spotify playlists, his name on Coachella lineups.
“Oh,” you say, a little surprised. “You’re that Martin Garrix.”
“Depends,” he says with a grin. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
He laughs again, an easy sound that somehow cuts through the noise around you.
“And you are?”
You hesitate. The last thing you want is to be recognized as Fernando Alonso’s daughter tonight. “Just … me,” you say, shrugging.
“Alright, Just Me,” he teases. “What’s the plan now? Back to the dance floor?”
“I don’t really have a plan.” You glance toward the bar, but it’s swamped. The thought of pushing through that crowd makes your skin crawl.
Martin tilts his head, considering you. “You know,” he says after a moment, “I’ve got to play a set in a bit. But before that, I could introduce you to someone.”
Your brow furrows. “Introduce me?”
“Yeah. A friend of mine. You’ll like him.”
You cross your arms. “Why do I feel like you’re trying to get rid of me?”
“Not at all,” he says, grinning. “But if you’re looking for luck, he’s got plenty of it.”
Before you can argue, he’s already motioning for you to follow him.
Martin weaves through the crowd effortlessly, stopping just long enough to charm security guards and exchange handshakes with people who look vaguely important. You trail behind, clutching your champagne glass like a lifeline.
“VIP,” he explains over his shoulder, as if that answers anything.
“I was in VIP,” you mutter. “Then I left to crawl under a table.”
“Your loss,” he quips.
The VIP section is smaller than you remember, cordoned off with velvet ropes and guarded by men in black suits. Martin flashes a wristband, and the guard steps aside.
You’re led to a booth tucked in the farthest corner, hidden from most of the chaos. Someone is slouched in the corner seat, a drink dangling from his fingers. His head tilts up when Martin approaches, and your stomach flips.
Max Verstappen.
You stop dead in your tracks, heat rushing to your face. Of all the people — of course it’s him.
Max looks at you, then at Martin, then back at you. His brow furrows in confusion, his normally sharp blue eyes a little unfocused.
“Martin,” he says, voice thick with alcohol, “who’s this?”
Martin grins, gesturing toward you. “Stray kitten I found under a table. Thought you might want company.”
You gape at him. “I am not a stray kitten.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” Martin says, completely unbothered.
Max blinks, then sets his drink on the table. “Wait. I know you.”
“Yeah,” you say quickly, “I know you too.”
It’s a terrible response, but you’re too flustered to think straight. Max Verstappen, reigning Formula 1 world champion, is sitting in front of you, looking unfairly handsome even in his clearly drunk state.
Martin claps Max on the shoulder. “I’ll leave you two to it. Don’t scare her off, mate.”
“Wait, what-” You start to protest, but Martin is already disappearing into the crowd.
You’re left standing there awkwardly, clutching your glass like it’s a shield. Max watches you, his expression softening into something unreadable.
“Sit,” he says, gesturing to the empty seat beside him.
You hesitate, then slide into the booth, leaving just enough space between you that it doesn’t feel too intimate.
“So,” he says, leaning back. “What’s this about a table?”
You sigh, rubbing your temple. “It’s a Spanish tradition. You eat twelve grapes at midnight for good luck in the new year. I was under the table to-”
“Focus your intentions,” he finishes, surprising you.
Your eyes widen. “How do you know that?”
“Carlos told me about it once back when we were teammates,” he says with a small smile. “He thought it was funny.”
You relax slightly. “Well, it’s not funny. It’s practical.”
“Under a table, though?” His smile widens.
“It’s quieter!”
He laughs, and it’s the kind of laugh that makes your heart twist in your chest. You’ve always found Max intimidating — cool, calm, untouchable. But right now, with his hair slightly messy and his guard down, he seems … human.
“You’re drunk,” you blurt out.
He nods, unabashed. “A little.”
“A lot,” you correct.
“Fair.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. “But what about you? You’re here on New Year’s Night, eating grapes under tables. What’s that about?”
You hesitate, then shrug. “Bad luck. Bad … everything, really. I figured it couldn’t hurt.”
He studies you for a moment, his gaze steady despite the alcohol. “Bad everything?”
“Love life,” you admit, looking away. “It’s been a disaster.”
“Join the club,” he mutters, taking a sip of his drink.
You glance at him, surprised. “What do you mean? You’re-” You stop yourself, realizing how stupid it sounds. He’s Max Verstappen. He could have anyone.
“Exactly,” he says, reading your expression. “And that’s the problem. No one takes me seriously. They just see the driver, the fame, the money.”
You soften. “That sounds lonely.”
“It is.”
There’s a beat of silence, heavy with unspoken words.
“You know,” he says finally, his voice quieter now, “I always wondered what it’d be like to talk to you.”
Your breath catches. “What?”
“In the paddock. You’re always with your dad, or with someone else. I never knew how to …” He trails off, rubbing the back of his neck. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It does,” you say quickly, surprising yourself. “I always wondered too.”
He looks at you then, really looks at you, and for a moment, the noise of the club fades into the background.
“Yeah?” He asks softly.
You nod, suddenly shy. “Yeah.”
His lips twitch into a small smile. “Maybe Martin was right.”
“About what?”
“Luck.”
You laugh, the sound light and unexpected. “Maybe.”
He leans back, the tension in his shoulders easing. “So, what now? Are you going to wait for the grapes to work, or are we going to make our own luck?”
You raise an eyebrow. “And how do we do that?”
“Well,” he says, a playful glint in his eye, “we could start by getting out of here.”
“And go where?”
“Anywhere,” he says, standing up and holding out his hand.
You stare at his hand, then take it, letting him pull you to your feet.
“Alright,” you say, your heart pounding. “Let’s see where this luck takes us.”
***
The valet pulls up with the car, and it’s … a Ferrari Monza SP2. Of course it is. Sleek, black, and absurdly expensive, it looks like something out of a Bond movie. The kind of car you don’t just drive; you wear it, command it.
Max grins at you as the valet hands him the keys, his drunken sway almost imperceptible — almost. He heads straight for the driver’s side, but you grab his arm before he can open the door.
“Are you serious?” You ask, wide-eyed.
“What?” His expression is equal parts innocence and mischief.
“You’ve been drinking.”
He glances at the keys in his hand, then back at you, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “I’ve had worse nights.”
“Max,” you say firmly, your voice cutting through the noise of passing cars and drunken revelers spilling out onto the Monaco streets. “You’re not driving.”
He raises an eyebrow, his grin widening. “So, what? You’re offering?”
You blink, caught off guard. “I-I didn’t mean-”
But he’s already opening the driver’s side door and stepping aside, holding it open for you with a dramatic flourish. “Your chariot awaits, madam.”
Your first instinct is to argue, to remind him that this is his car and you’re not exactly in the habit of taking over Ferraris from Formula 1 champions unless they’re your father. But the glint in his eye dares you to say yes.
“Fine,” you mutter, slipping past him and sliding into the driver’s seat.
The leather feels luxurious under your fingers, the steering wheel practically begging to be gripped. You know Ferraris — you grew up around them, after all — but this one feels different. It feels … alive.
Max climbs into the passenger seat with surprising agility for someone who’s had more than a few drinks. He looks entirely too pleased with himself, leaning back like he owns not just the car, but the world.
“Where to?” You ask, trying to sound nonchalant as you adjust the seat and mirrors.
He shrugs, a lazy smile on his face. “Surprise me.”
The car roars to life under your hands, the engine purring with a deep, satisfying growl. You pull out of the valet lane and into the Monaco streets, the city lights sparkling like they’ve been sprinkled with diamonds.
You have no plan, no destination in mind. So, you let the roads guide you. Past the harbor, where yachts bob gently against their moorings, and out onto the open road leading away from Monaco.
Max watches you drive, his gaze heavy but not uncomfortable. “You’re good at this,” he says, his voice cutting through the low hum of the engine.
You glance at him, one hand on the wheel. “I should be. My dad made sure I could handle cars before I could even ride a bike.”
He chuckles. “Sounds about right.”
The road begins to curve as you head toward Nice, the city’s glow fading behind you. The winding asphalt hugs the coastline, offering glimpses of the dark sea shimmering under the moonlight.
Max leans his head back against the seat, his eyes half-closed. “This is nice,” he murmurs, almost to himself.
You smile, focusing on the road. “It is.”
The stretch of beach comes out of nowhere, a small, deserted slice of sand tucked between rocky cliffs. You might have driven past it without a second thought, but Max suddenly sits up, pointing wildly.
“Stop!” He yells.
You react instinctively, slamming on the brakes. The tires screech against the pavement, and the car comes to a jarring halt.
“Jesus, Max!” You exclaim, turning to glare at him. “What is wrong with you?”
He’s already unbuckling his seatbelt, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “We’re going skinny dipping.”
“What?”
“You heard me.” He grins like a kid who just discovered a hidden jar of candy. “Come on. The water’s right there.”
You stare at him, dumbfounded. “You can’t be serious.”
“Why not?” He pushes open the door and climbs out, gesturing for you to follow. “It’s New Year’s. Perfect time to do something stupid.”
“Skinny dipping isn’t just stupid, Max. It’s-” You gesture vaguely, your cheeks heating. “It’s ridiculous.”
He leans down, resting his arms on the open car door. “Exactly. That’s the point. Live a little.”
You hesitate, glancing toward the beach. The moonlight glints off the waves, the sound of the surf mingling with the gentle rustle of wind through the grass. There’s no one else around.
“Max,” you start, your voice uncertain.
He tilts his head, his expression softening. “Hey. It’s just water. I won’t look if you don’t want me to.”
You laugh despite yourself, shaking your head. “You’re impossible.”
“And you’re stalling.” He steps back, holding his arms out as if to say, what’s the worst that could happen?
You sigh, unbuckling your seatbelt. “If I freeze to death, I’m haunting you.”
“Deal.”
The sand is cool under your feet as you follow Max toward the water. He’s already pulled off his shirt and pants, tossing them carelessly onto the beach. The moonlight catches on his skin, highlighting the lean muscles of his back.
You hesitate at the water’s edge, the waves lapping at your toes.
“This is crazy,” you mutter, crossing your arms.
“That’s the point,” Max calls over his shoulder, already wading into the surf.
You bite your lip, glancing around one last time to make sure you’re alone. Then, with a deep breath, you pull off your dress, leaving it in a heap beside Max’s clothes.
The water is shockingly cold as you step in, but it’s not unbearable. You wade in deeper, the waves swirling around your waist, then your chest.
Max is already floating on his back a few meters ahead, his arms stretched out like he’s completely at peace.
“See?” He says, his voice carrying over the water. “Not so bad.”
You tread water, glaring at him. “I hate that you’re right.”
He laughs, the sound echoing across the beach. “You’ll get used to it.”
For a while, neither of you says anything. The water is calm, the world around you eerily quiet except for the soft crash of waves.
“This is nice,” you admit finally, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Told you,” he says, tilting his head to look at you. His expression is softer now, less playful. “Thanks for indulging me.”
You shrug, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Thanks for trusting me with your car.”
He grins. “I figured it was in good hands.”
The silence stretches between you again, but it’s not uncomfortable. It feels … easy. Like the two of you have always been here, floating in the moonlit water, sharing something unspoken.
“I’ve always liked you,” Max says suddenly, his voice quiet but firm.
You freeze, your heart skipping a beat. “What?”
He turns onto his side, treading water to face you. “I mean it. For years, I’ve … I don’t know. I never thought you’d feel the same, so I didn’t say anything. But tonight …” He trails off, shaking his head. “I don’t know. It felt like the right time.”
Your throat tightens, your mind racing. You’ve always thought Max was out of your league, untouchable. But here he is, confessing in the most Max way possible — honest, straightforward, no games.
“I’ve always liked you too,” you admit, your voice trembling.
His eyes widen, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He laughs, the sound full of relief and joy. “Well, I guess the grapes worked after all.”
You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling. “Don’t make me regret this.”
“Never,” he says, his voice soft.
It feels like a promise.
***
When you and Max finally stumble out of the water, shivering and laughing, you head straight to the spot where you’d left your clothes. Only, when you get there, the beach doesn’t look quite the same.
Your dress isn’t where you left it.
“Oh no,” you mutter, scanning the dark sand.
“What?” Max asks, standing next to you, his arms crossed against the cold.
“My clothes.” You point at the waterline, which has crept much closer during your impromptu swim. “The waves must’ve gotten to them.”
Max glances down and then back at you with a smirk. “You mean those clothes?”
You follow his gaze to a small, soggy heap half-buried in the sand.
“Oh, for the love of-” You dart toward them, scooping up your dress and underwear, which are completely soaked and dripping.
Max doesn’t even try to suppress his laugh. “Well, this is awkward.”
“Don’t,” you warn, glaring at him.
“I didn’t say anything!” He holds up his hands defensively, still grinning.
You groan, holding up your dress, which now feels about ten pounds heavier with seawater. “What am I supposed to do? I can’t wear this.”
Max tilts his head, considering. “Guess you’ll have to drive back naked.”
“Max!”
“Kidding, kidding!” He steps closer, tugging his own damp shirt over his head and holding it out to you. “Here. Problem solved.”
You hesitate, eyeing the shirt. “What about you?”
“I’ll live,” he says with a shrug, clearly unbothered by the chilly night air. “Take it.”
You sigh, knowing you don’t have much of a choice. “Fine. Turn around.”
Max smirks but obeys, turning his back to you.
You quickly pull the oversized shirt over your head, the fabric still warm from his body. It smells like him, too — a mix of salt, sweat, and something distinctly Max. You tug it down as far as it will go, grateful that it’s long enough to cover everything important.
“Okay,” you say.
Max turns back around, and his grin is immediate and wide. “Wow.”
“What?” You ask, crossing your arms.
“You look good in my clothes,” he says, his voice dropping slightly.
You roll your eyes, but your cheeks burn at the way he’s looking at you, his gaze lingering a little too long. “You’re impossible.”
“And you’re beautiful,” he counters, his tone light but earnest.
You open your mouth to respond, but the words catch in your throat. Instead, you shake your head, muttering, “Let’s just go.”
Max doesn’t argue, but his grin lingers as the two of you make your way back to the car.
“Where are we going?” Max asks as you slide back into the driver’s seat, the leather cool against your bare thighs.
“I was going to ask you the same thing,” you say, adjusting the mirrors again.
He shrugs, leaning back in his seat. “We could go back to my place.”
You snort. “Why does that sound like the setup to a bad pickup line?”
“Hey,” he protests, mock-offended. “I’m a gentleman.”
You glance at him, raising an eyebrow. “Are you, though?”
“Sometimes,” he says, grinning. “Depends on the company.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Well, as much as I’d love to see your undoubtedly bachelor-esque apartment, I have a better idea.”
“Oh?”
“My dad’s place,” you say, pulling onto the road.
Max raises an eyebrow. “Fernando’s?”
“He’s not there,” you assure him quickly. “He’s probably still at the club, or passed out somewhere. And I happen to know he stocked the apartment with some really good champagne.”
Max hums, considering. “Fancy champagne, empty apartment … I like the sound of this.”
You smile, turning onto the highway. “I thought you might.”
The drive back to Monaco feels different this time. The adrenaline from the beach has faded, replaced by a quiet comfort. Max sits beside you, his head tilted back against the seat, humming softly to himself.
You glance at him out of the corner of your eye. “You’re not falling asleep, are you?”
He shakes his head, reaching for the radio. “Nope. Just thinking.”
“Dangerous,” you tease.
He laughs, fiddling with the dial until he lands on a station playing 80s hits. The familiar opening chords of Take On Me by A-ha fill the car, and Max immediately starts singing along.
“Talking away,” he belts out, completely off-key but fully committed.
You can’t help but laugh. “Oh my God, Max.”
“What?” He says, grinning at you. “You don’t like my singing?”
“I’m just saying, maybe stick to driving cars.”
He clutches his chest dramatically. “Ouch. That’s harsh.”
The chorus kicks in, and Max leans closer to you, practically shouting the lyrics. “I’ll be gone, in a day or twoooooo!”
You’re laughing so hard you can barely keep your hands steady on the wheel. “You’re ridiculous.”
“And you love it,” he says, winking.
You roll your eyes, but the truth is, you kind of do. There’s something about the way Max is so unapologetically himself, even when he’s being completely ridiculous. It’s endearing in a way you didn’t expect.
The next song comes on — Africa by Toto (not that Toto, the other one) — and Max doesn’t miss a beat, launching into another impromptu performance.
“I bless the rains down in AfricAAAA!”
“Please stop,” you beg, though your cheeks hurt from smiling.
“Never,” he says, grinning at you like this is the most fun he’s had in ages.
And as the lights of Monaco come back into view, you realize you’ve never felt more at ease with someone. Max’s off-tune singing, the salty breeze still clinging to your hair, and the warmth of his shirt against your skin — it all feels like something out of a dream.
“Hey,” Max says suddenly, his voice softer now.
“Yeah?” You glance at him, and for once, he’s not smiling. His expression is thoughtful, almost serious.
“I’m glad it was you tonight,” he says simply.
Your heart skips a beat, but you manage to keep your voice steady. “Me too.”
He turns back to the radio, cranking up the volume as another song starts. And as you drive toward the city, the two of you singing along to the music, it feels like the beginning of something you’re not quite ready to name — but it feels right all the same.
***
The apartment is just as you left it — sleek, minimalist, and undoubtedly your father’s. Clean lines, muted colors, and an expansive view of Monaco’s twinkling lights spilling in through the floor-to-ceiling windows.
Max whistles low as he steps inside, running a hand through his damp hair. “Your dad has good taste.”
You scoff, kicking off your shoes by the door. “He has a good interior designer. There’s a difference.”
Max chuckles, padding after you as you head straight for the kitchen. “Where’s this fancy champagne you promised?”
You open the fridge, scanning its contents. Sure enough, five bottles of Dom Pérignon are lined up like soldiers, condensation clinging to their dark glass.
“Here,” you say, pulling one out and setting it on the marble countertop. “But don’t complain if it ruins you for whatever it is that Formula 1 uses on podiums these days.”
Max grabs two flutes from the cabinet you pointed to and shrugs. “I think I’ll survive.”
You pop the cork with a satisfying pop, pouring the sparkling liquid into the glasses he offers.
“To questionable life choices,” Max says, raising his glass.
You laugh, clinking yours against his. “To new beginnings.”
The first sip is crisp and effervescent, the kind of taste that makes you close your eyes for a second to savor it. Max seems equally impressed, letting out a low hum of approval.
“You weren’t kidding,” he says, taking another sip. “This is good.”
“Only the best for Fernando Alonso,” you say, rolling your eyes.
The two of you settle on the couch, the city lights casting a soft glow over the room. Conversation flows easily, the champagne loosening whatever walls you might have had left after the events of the night.
By the second bottle, you’re both leaning into each other, laughing at stories you’ve never told anyone else.
“So, wait,” Max says, his voice slightly slurred. “You actually punched him?”
“I didn’t punch him,” you correct, giggling. “I just … shoved him. Hard. With my fist.”
Max snorts. “That’s literally a punch.”
“Semantics.” You wave him off, taking another sip of champagne. “He deserved it.”
“Remind me never to get on your bad side,” Max says, shaking his head with a grin.
By the time you open the third bottle, everything is a blur of laughter, shared glances, and a warmth that has nothing to do with the alcohol.
You’re halfway through another story when Max interrupts, leaning closer. “You’ve got …” He gestures vaguely at your face.
“What?” You ask, frowning.
“Hold on.” He reaches out, brushing the corner of your mouth with his thumb. The touch is light, almost hesitant, but it sends a jolt of electricity through you.
“There,” he says softly, his thumb lingering a second too long before he pulls back.
The room feels suddenly smaller, quieter. Your eyes meet his, and for a moment, neither of you says anything.
Then, without thinking, you lean in.
The kiss is messy, fueled by champagne and years of unspoken tension. Max’s lips are soft but insistent, his hands finding your waist and pulling you closer.
You barely register the sound of your glass clattering onto the coffee table as you climb onto his lap, your fingers tangling in his hair.
“Is this okay?” He murmurs against your lips, his breath warm and ragged.
You nod, your hands already tugging at the waistband of his jeans. “More than okay.”
His hands slide under the shirt you’re wearing — his shirt — his palms warm against your skin. The touch makes you shiver, but you can’t tell if it’s from the cold or something else entirely.
“You look so good in this,” he whispers, his lips trailing down your neck.
“Stop talking,” you mutter, pulling him back up for another kiss.
He laughs softly but obeys, his hands roaming freely now, exploring every curve like he’s trying to memorize you.
You lose track of time, of where you end and he begins. The champagne bubbles in your veins, making everything feel hazy and light.
Somehow, you both end up half-naked on the leather sectional, your legs tangled together. Max’s hands stay under the shirt, resting against your waist like he’s anchoring himself to you.
Your hand drifts lower, brushing against the waistband of his briefs. He lets out a low groan, his head falling back against the couch.
“Careful,” he says, his voice thick with a mix of amusement and warning.
You smirk, leaning down to press a kiss to his jaw. “You’re the one who said to live a little.”
He laughs, pulling you back down into another kiss.
Eventually, exhaustion gets the better of both of you. The kisses slow, turning softer, lazier, until you’re both too tired to do anything but collapse against each other.
Max’s arms wrap around you, his body warm and solid beneath you.
“Don’t let me fall asleep like this,” you mumble, your voice muffled against his chest.
“Too late,” he replies, his voice already heavy with sleep.
And as your eyes flutter closed, you can’t help but think that this might be the best questionable life choice you’ve ever made.
***
The first hint of dawn spills into the apartment, a soft, golden hue creeping through the glass walls. The city below comes to life slowly, but up here, in the quiet sanctuary of your father’s apartment, everything feels frozen in time.
You’re vaguely aware of the early morning light as you stir, still half-asleep, tangled in the warmth of Max’s arms. His hands are still under the shirt you’re wearing — his shirt — resting against your bare waist. Your head rests on his chest, his steady heartbeat like a metronome beneath your ear.
You should feel embarrassed, maybe even regretful. Instead, you feel … safe. Content.
The sound of keys jingling outside the door doesn’t register immediately.
Then, the lock turns, and the door creaks open.
“Ah, mierda.”
The low curse comes from the entryway. The unmistakable, groggy voice of your father.
You jolt upright, your blood turning ice-cold as the realization sinks in.
Max stirs beside you, groaning softly. “What’s going on?”
You don’t have time to answer before Fernando appears in the living room doorway, his hair disheveled, his jacket slung over one shoulder, and the beginnings of a hangover etched across his face.
His gaze lands on the two of you — your bare legs, Max’s shirt haphazardly covering you, and the obvious fact that both your pants are nowhere to be seen.
There’s a long, excruciating silence.
“Papá,” you manage to squeak, your voice higher than you intended.
Fernando blinks once, twice. Then his eyes narrow. “What is this?”
Max freezes, his brain clearly struggling to catch up. “Uh …”
You scramble for words, any words, but your mind is a complete blank.
Fernando steps closer, his voice sharp. “You. Verstappen. What are you doing here?”
Max raises a hand, as though he’s trying to surrender. “I can explain-”
“Oh, you better,” Fernando interrupts, his tone dark. “Because from where I’m standing, this looks like …” He gestures vaguely at the two of you, his expression a mix of disbelief and fury. “… a very bad decision.”
You hastily pull a throw pillow over your lap, trying to muster some semblance of dignity. “It’s not what it looks like.”
Fernando arches a brow. “It looks like I came home to find my daughter and Max Verstappen half-naked on my couch.”
“Okay, so maybe it’s a little what it looks like,” you admit, cringing.
Max finally seems to snap out of his stupor. He sits up, running a hand through his already messy hair. “Listen, Fernando, I-”
“You don’t get to call me Fernando,” your father snaps. “Not right now.”
“Okay,” Max backtracks quickly, holding up his hands. “Look, this isn’t her fault. It’s on me.”
You turn to him, frowning. “Max-”
“No, it’s true,” he continues, his voice steady despite the situation. “I shouldn’t have let things get … out of hand.”
Fernando crosses his arms, his eyes narrowing further. “Out of hand?”
“I mean-” Max stumbles over his words, clearly realizing he’s digging himself deeper. “It’s not like we planned for this to happen.”
Fernando’s gaze flicks to you, his expression unreadable. “Is that true?”
You open your mouth, then close it, your cheeks burning. “Well … yes. Kind of.”
“Kind of?”
“It’s complicated!” You blurt out, throwing your hands up in frustration.
Fernando pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath that you’re pretty sure isn’t complimentary.
“I don’t even know where to start,” he says after a moment, his voice tight. “You-” He points at Max. “Why are you even here?”
“We were … celebrating,” Max says hesitantly.
“Celebrating,” Fernando repeats flatly. “By taking your pants off on my couch?”
“Okay, that part was-” Max starts, but you cut him off.
“Can we not talk about pants right now?” You plead, your face hot enough to fry an egg.
Fernando gives you a look that could melt steel. “No, we’re absolutely going to talk about it. What were you thinking?”
“Maybe we weren’t thinking,” you admit quietly, avoiding his gaze.
“That much is obvious,” he mutters.
“Papá, please,” you say, your voice softening. “It’s not like we meant to disrespect you or your home.”
Fernando sighs, the anger in his expression giving way to something else — disappointment. It stings more than you care to admit.
Max shifts uncomfortably beside you, breaking the silence. “I know this looks bad-”
“It is bad,” Fernando interrupts. “Do you have any idea what this could do to your reputation? To hers?”
Max frowns, his jaw tightening. “With all due respect, I care more about her than my reputation.”
Your breath catches at his words, but Fernando doesn’t seem impressed.
“Convenient to say that now,” he mutters, crossing his arms again.
Max’s expression hardens. “It’s the truth.”
The tension in the room is suffocating, the silence stretching out until you can’t take it anymore.
“Can we just … take a minute?” You say, looking between them. “Please?”
Fernando stares at you for a long moment, his expression softening just a fraction. “Fine. One minute.”
He turns on his heel, muttering something under his breath yet again as he storms toward the kitchen.
As soon as he’s out of earshot, you let out a shaky breath, turning to Max.
“This is a disaster,” you whisper.
Max reaches for your hand, his touch grounding. “We’ll figure it out.”
“How?” You ask, your voice tinged with panic.
He squeezes your hand gently. “Together.”
Despite everything, his confidence is reassuring. You take another deep breath, trying to steady yourself.
“Okay,” you say quietly. “Together.”
Fernando’s voice cuts through the moment from the kitchen. “You better be decent when I come back.”
Max lets out a low chuckle, and you can’t help but smile despite the situation.
“Let’s just survive the next five minutes,” you murmur, standing to pull on your still-damp jeans.
Max grins up at you, his eyes warm. “I like our odds.”
You glance toward the kitchen, where your father is undoubtedly fuming, and pray he’s right.
***
The tension in the room is suffocating as your father storms back from the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hand and a sharp glare aimed squarely at Max. You sit on the edge of the couch, trying to make yourself as small as possible. Max, to his credit, doesn’t flinch under the weight of Fernando’s gaze, though his posture is tense, shoulders squared like he’s bracing for impact.
Fernando takes a long sip of his coffee before setting the cup down on the counter with a decisive clink. “Alright,” he says, folding his arms across his chest. “Let’s talk.”
Max leans forward, his elbows on his knees. “I-”
Fernando holds up a hand, cutting him off. “No. I’ll talk first. You’ll listen.”
Max glances at you briefly, then nods. “Okay.”
Your father steps closer, his eyes narrowing. “So. Verstappen. Tell me — were you trying to sleep with my daughter under my own roof?”
The bluntness of the question makes you choke on air. “Papá!”
“Stay out of this,” Fernando says sharply, not even sparing you a glance. His eyes are locked on Max, who blinks in surprise before straightening in his seat.
“No!” Max says quickly, his voice firm. “Of course not.”
Fernando tilts his head, his lips twitching as though he’s fighting back a smirk. “Oh, so she’s not attractive enough for you to want to sleep with?”
“What?” You gasp, standing up. “What is wrong with you?”
“Sit down,” Fernando says over his shoulder, though there’s an unmistakable gleam of amusement in his eyes.
Max looks like he’s been thrown into the deep end of a pool without warning. “That’s not — what? No!”
Fernando raises an eyebrow. “No, she’s not attractive, or no, you weren’t trying to sleep with her?”
Max glares at him, his jaw tightening. “You’re twisting my words.”
“Am I?” Fernando says, taking another slow sip of his coffee.
“Yes!” Max snaps, then seems to catch himself. He exhales, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I wasn’t trying to disrespect you or your home. I swear.”
Fernando steps closer, looming over Max. “You swear, huh?”
“Yes,” Max says firmly.
“And yet,” Fernando says, gesturing at the couch with a dramatic wave of his hand, “I walked in on this. My daughter, half-naked, tangled up with you.”
You groan, burying your face in your hands. “Oh my god, stop.”
Fernando ignores you. “Explain that, Verstappen.”
Max meets his gaze, unflinching. “I care about her. That’s the truth.”
Fernando’s eyebrows lift slightly, but he doesn’t respond immediately. He paces a few steps, tapping his fingers against his coffee cup as though mulling over his next move.
Finally, he stops, turning back to Max. “You care about her,” he repeats, his tone skeptical.
“Yes,” Max says, his voice unwavering.
Fernando tilts his head again, studying Max like he’s a puzzle he’s trying to solve. “Alright. Let’s test that.”
Max frowns. “Test what?”
“Your commitment,” Fernando says simply.
You groan again, standing up. “Papá, this isn’t some kind of-”
“Sit,” Fernando says, pointing at the couch.
“Stop telling me to sit!” You snap, but you drop back down anyway, crossing your arms over your chest.
Fernando turns back to Max, a small, mischievous smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “So. Verstappen. If you care about her, you won’t mind answering a few questions.”
Max hesitates but nods. “Alright.”
Fernando sets his coffee cup down again, cracking his knuckles for dramatic effect. “First question. Do you even know her middle name?”
Max’s eyes flick to you, then back to Fernando. “Of course I do. It’s-” He pauses, frowning. “Wait. Do you have one?”
Fernando lets out a bark of laughter. “Strike one.”
You roll your eyes. “Max, I don’t have a middle name. Don’t listen to him.”
Max glares at Fernando. “That’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair,” Fernando says with a shrug. “Next question. What’s her favorite color?”
Max’s frown deepens. “Pink?”
Fernando shakes his head. “Wrong.”
“Wrong?” Max turns to you. “It’s not pink?”
“It’s not pink,” you confirm, biting back a smile.
Fernando smirks. “Strike two.”
Max leans back, exhaling slowly. “Alright. What is it, then?”
Fernando opens his mouth, but you cut him off. “It’s burgundy.”
“Burgundy,” Max repeats, nodding to himself. “Got it.”
“Too late,” Fernando says, waving him off. “You’re already failing.”
“Papá,” you say, your tone a warning.
Fernando raises his hands in mock surrender. “Fine, fine. One last question.”
Max leans forward again, his expression determined. “Go ahead.”
Fernando’s smirk returns. “What are your intentions with my daughter?”
The question hangs in the air like a loaded gun.
Max doesn’t flinch. He meets Fernando’s gaze head-on and says, “I don’t know yet.”
You blink in surprise, as does your father.
Max continues, his voice steady. “But I know I want to figure it out. I care about her, and I want to spend more time with her. That’s all I can say right now.”
Fernando studies him for a long moment, his expression unreadable.
Then, to your astonishment, he nods. “Fair enough.”
“Fair enough?” You echo, staring at him in disbelief.
Fernando shrugs, picking up his coffee cup again. “At least he’s honest.”
Max lets out a breath he probably didn’t realize he was holding, and you shake your head, still trying to process what just happened.
“Just one thing,” Fernando adds, turning back to Max with a pointed look.
“What’s that?” Max asks cautiously.
Fernando leans in slightly, his voice low but firm. “If you hurt her, I’ll make sure you regret it.”
Max doesn’t hesitate. “Understood.”
Fernando nods once, then steps back, his demeanor relaxing slightly. “Good. Now, get dressed. Both of you.”
You groan, covering your face with your hands again. “This is the worst day of my life.”
“Could’ve been worse,” Max says, nudging you gently.
You glare at him, but there’s a small smile tugging at your lips despite everything.
Fernando smirks, heading toward his bedroom. “You’ve got ten minutes before I come back with more questions.”
“Papá!” You call after him, but he’s already gone.
Max chuckles softly, leaning back on the couch. “That went well, all things considered.”
You stare at him, incredulous. “You think that went well?”
He grins, shrugging. “I’m still alive, aren’t I?”
You can’t help but laugh, shaking your head. “You’re unbelievable.”
“And you like me anyway,” he says, his grin widening.
You roll your eyes, but you don’t argue.
***
One Year Later
The club is just as loud and chaotic as it was a year ago, but it feels different this time. Maybe it’s the crowd, maybe it’s the glow of the New Year’s lights, or maybe it’s the fact that Max’s hand hasn’t left yours all night.
You’re back where it all started, tucked into the VIP section of the Monaco club where you had once crouched under a table eating grapes in a last-ditch attempt to find love. That night had been nothing short of chaotic, but looking back, it had been the beginning of something you wouldn’t trade for the world.
“Is it how you remembered it?” Max asks, leaning in close to be heard over the music.
You glance around at the glittering lights and pulsing crowd, then back at him. “It’s definitely less embarrassing this time around.”
Max grins, brushing a thumb over your knuckles. “I don’t know. You were pretty cute in your desperation.”
You groan, nudging him with your shoulder. “Are you ever going to let me live that down?”
“Not a chance,” he says, laughing. “It’s one of my favorite stories to tell.”
“Great. Glad my suffering is so entertaining for you,” you tease, though you can’t help but smile.
Max tugs you closer, his voice softer now. “You know, I’m really glad you ate those grapes.”
You look up at him, your heart fluttering at the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. “Me too.”
The DJ announces that it’s nearly midnight, and the crowd buzzes with excitement. Max pulls you to your feet, his hands resting lightly on your waist.
“Ready to count down?” He asks, his voice warm and low.
“With you? Always,” you say, grinning.
The countdown begins, and the energy in the room spikes. You can feel the excitement in the air, the anticipation of a new year, a fresh start.
“Ten!” The crowd shouts.
Max’s hands tighten slightly on your waist, and you lean into him, your pulse racing.
“Nine!”
You look up at him, your eyes locking.
“Eight!”
His gaze softens, his smile turning gentle.
“Seven!”
You bite your lip, butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
“Six!”
Max leans down, his forehead brushing against yours.
“Five!”
Your breath catches as the noise of the crowd fades into the background.
“Four!”
“Three!”
“Two!”
You close your eyes, tilting your head up.
“One!”
Midnight strikes, and Max’s lips meet yours, soft and certain. The room erupts in cheers and confetti, but all you can focus on is the way he’s holding you, like you’re the only person in the world.
The kiss deepens, his hands sliding to your back, pulling you closer. You smile against his lips, your heart full and light-
Only to be rudely interrupted by someone literally wedging themselves between you.
“Alright, break it up!”
You stumble back a step, blinking in surprise. Max looks just as stunned, his hands still midair where they’d been resting on your waist.
Fernando stands between you, his arms crossed and a deeply unimpressed look on his face. “Leave room for Jesus.”
You gape at him, your cheeks burning. “Papá! What the hell are you doing?”
“I think the better question,” he says, looking pointedly at Max, “is what you two were doing.”
Max stares at him, then throws his hands up. “We were kissing. It’s New Year’s!”
Fernando raises an eyebrow. “And you couldn’t do that with a little more … decorum?”
“You’re not even religious!” You protest, exasperated.
Fernando smirks, clearly enjoying himself. “And that’s why, by Jesus, I mean me.”
Max blinks. “You mean … you?”
You stare at your father, your frustration warring with the urge to laugh. “Are you serious right now?”
“Completely,” Fernando says, deadpan. “Now, why don’t we all take a nice step back, breathe, and reflect on the fact that I’m allowing this relationship to exist at all.”
“Allowing?” Max echoes, crossing his arms. “With all due respect, I don’t think you get to allow anything anymore.”
Fernando turns to him, one eyebrow raised. “Oh, is that so?”
“Yes,” Max says firmly. “We’re adults. And we’re together. Whether you approve or not.”
Fernando looks at him for a long moment, then lets out a low chuckle. “Well, at least you’ve got guts.”
“More than that,” you interject, stepping between them. “He’s good to me. Better than anyone else ever has been. And I love him.”
Fernando’s smirk fades, replaced by something softer. He looks at you, his expression unreadable, then nods slowly. “I know.”
“You know?” You ask, surprised.
He shrugs. “Of course I know. I’m your father.”
Max exchanges a glance with you, clearly just as confused. “So … what’s with all the drama, then?”
Fernando grins, stepping back. “Because it’s fun.”
You groan, burying your face in your hands again. “I can’t believe this.”
Max laughs, pulling you into his side. “I can.”
Fernando claps Max on the shoulder, his grin widening. “Happy New Year, Verstappen. Don’t screw it up.”
Max meets his gaze, his expression serious. “I won’t.”
Fernando nods, then turns to you. “And you — try to keep him out of trouble, will you?”
You smile, leaning into Max. “I’ll do my best.”
Fernando waves you off, disappearing back into the crowd with a casual, “Don’t make me come back over here.”
Max watches him go, then turns to you, shaking his head. “Your dad’s insane.”
“Welcome to my world,” you say, laughing.
He grins, leaning down to kiss you again. This time, no one interrupts.
#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 x you#max verstappen#mv1#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fic#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen blurb#f1 fluff#f1 blurb#f1 one shot#f1 x y/n#f1 drabble#f1 fandom#f1blr#f1 x female reader#max verstappen x female reader#max verstappen x y/n#red bull racing#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen drabble
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Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.
“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”
God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.
Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.
“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”
“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”
“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”
Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.
“What happened?!”
“My word, master Danny!”
“What is it?!”
“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”
Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.
“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”
“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.
“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.
“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”
The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.
“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”
“Danny.”
“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.
“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.
Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.
“Sorry.”
“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.
“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”
Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…
“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”
“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.
“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”
The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.
“Done.”
“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”
“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”
“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”
“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”
“Very well.”
“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.
——
“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”
“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.
“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”
“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”
Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.
“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”
“Tt.”
“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”
#danny phantom#danny phantom is a little shit#dc x dp#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#bamf danny phantom#nightwing#dick grayson#alfred pennyworth#Alfred is ninja#Damian is attached#damian wayne#bruce to the GIW: I don’t kill#behind him: a contingent of his pissed off kids#bruce: but they do#danny dropping trauma and lore in one go: lol#Damian’s way of bonding with people is stabbing#Danny’s used to ghostly violence as a way of being a friendly hello#he sees no issues with being stabbed#everyone else not so much
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BAD THINGS | JJK (Part 1)
summary getting jealous, sending mixed signals, simping for a gorgeous geek who has no idea what effect she has on him... it's just what jungkook does best. oh, and football. he's really good at football.
pairing jock fuckboy!jk x nerdy fuckgirl!reader
rating 18+ minors dni; smut, angst, fluff
genre f2l, fwb au, university au
word count 7.4k
content jk 20 | yn 20. down bad, simpy, jealous jk. he's kind of a himbo 😭. oc is a nerd but shes confident, a little slutty and a little bitchy. misunderstandings. mcs are (retired) hoes. they r both hopelessly & secretly(?) in love w each other. but one of them is just a littleee more obvious abt it... oc has dissociation as a defense mechanism baddd when she's hurt. football (soccer) jk. campus librarian yn. kth is oc's ex bf. the slightest bit of love triangle themes but like she's jk whipped cmawnn it's me 😭. cursing. kissing. short nsfw scene; dirty talk, p in v sex, almost getting caught
a/n so this is another draft dump LOLLL… i chopped off the end bc i wasn’t happy with it and decided to just turn this into a two-parter with an undetermined pt2 release date. so don’t read this if you’re not a fan of open or unresolved endings, baby!! not even the Lord himself knows when i’ll get back to her since i’ve got a lot in the works atm 😬 butttt i think this first part is seaux cute and it’s my blog so i’m posting it 💋 just like habits, here’s a sweet little treat - maybe a lil sumn sumn for you to pass some time with... <3 love you lots
now playing: bad things—mgk & camila cabello
“It smells like sex in here.”
Your roommate’s voice cuts through the quiet room, half-amused, half-accusing.
Looking up at her from under your warm covers, you respond casually, “Well, autoeroticism is a type of sex.”
Nari tilts her head, her lips pursing slightly as she processes your words. Then, closing the distance, she sits at the edge of your bed. The blanket shifts dangerously low, nearly exposing your bare chest. You bite the inside of your lip to suppress a laugh, quickly tugging it back up in time.
“Is that a nerdy way to say masturbation?” she asks, narrowing her eyes. “And did you really have to get fully naked? With the door unlocked? God, Y/nn, I’ll never get used to how comfortable you are with your sexuality.”
You giggle softly, leaning back into your pillow, lashes lowering as you gaze up at your pretty roommate. “I can teach you how to get comfortable with it if you want.”
Nari rolls her eyes, her lips curving into a sarcastic smile. She playfully smacks your thigh through the blanket, making you laugh. “I’m gay, but not gay enough to settle for a slut, sorry, baby.”
“Slut?” you echo, feigning offense with a dramatic gasp, your eyebrows shooting up in mock surprise. “It’s 2024, unnie… I don’t know if you can say that anymore.”
“Mmm,” she hums thoughtfully, her eyes sweeping over your barely-covered frame as she shakes her head. “It’s not even two o’clock, Y/nn. Like—” she cuts herself off with a chuckle and a shrug. “No, you know what? I’m not even surprised. Anyway, I came to ask if you needed anything from the supermarket. I would’ve texted, but I heard your voice through the door…” She pauses, realization dawning a beat too late. “Oh god. Those weren’t conversations. Fuck, sorry for interrupting.”
“It’s okay.” You smile, poking her lightly with your blanket-covered foot. “Wasn’t going that great anyway.” You shrug. “Strawberries, please? And some chocolate—the dippy kind.”
“Sure,” she nods, leaning down to plant a quick kiss on your sweaty cheek. You try to nuzzle into her affectionately, but she laughs, pushing your face back into the pillow. “‘Not that great?’ You’re sweating like a dog,” she teases as she stands to leave. “Be back soon. Love you.”
“Love you,” you echo, waving lightly as she shuts the door.
The second you hear the front door click shut, you exhale sharply, tossing the blanket off your overheated body.
“‘Not that great?’” Jungkook’s voice breaks the silence, mock offense lacing his tone as he steps out of your closet, his cock still hard and pressing against his stomach. You reach for your bra from the floor, pretending not to notice his pout. “Not exactly the review I usually get…”
You laugh halfheartedly, clipping your bra back on and scanning the floor for your panties. Jungkook frowns, shuffling back onto the bed, his warm chest brushing against your back as he watches you tug your panties up.
“Hey…” His voice softens when he realizes you're redressing. His hand gently rests against your side, only for it to be covered by your shirt as you pull it over your head.
“Y/nn? What—what’s wrong? You don’t wanna keep going? I’m—” His words falter as you stand to pull your jeans on, facing him with a look that leaves him unsure. His throat tightens, but he tries again, “Did you— I mean, I-I’m more than happy to keep going. It didn’t bother me that she almost caught us…”
You give him an amused smile, making his heart lurch, but you say nothing. Jungkook’s mouth goes dry as he watches you fasten the button of your jeans and walk over to your desk. Still silent, you put on your glasses, picking up your phone and swiping across the screen.
Jungkook sits on the bed, completely naked, his lips pursing as he watches you text without sparing him a glance. He opens his mouth to say something, but you’re already locking your phone, reaching for your jacket hanging on the back of your chair. His heart sinks as you walk toward the door without a word.
You twist the doorknob, then hum softly like you’ve forgotten something. “Could you lock the front door behind you, please?”
Jungkook’s jaw tightens, his eyes narrowing in disbelief. You tilt your head, faking confusion as you ask, “Is that going to be difficult for you…?”
Jungkook scoffs, shaking his head as he leans down to grab his briefs from under the bed. “You’re a real bitch, you know that, Y/n?” His tone is sharp as he tugs the underwear on.
Leaning against the door, you nod nonchalantly, watching him stuff his hardon back into his briefs. “Mhm, I’ve heard…”
Jungkook pulls his black tee over his head, still looking incredulous. “Why are you acting like this? Did you—did you, like, actually not enjoy it?”
Your stomach tightens as you catch the insecurity flicker in his eyes, his brows knitting together slightly as he zips up his jeans. You roll your eyes at yourself for feeling bad, knowing that's exactly why you’re in this position to begin with.
“It was good, Jungkook.” You blink at him, your voice lacking the enthusiasm he’s used to. Now fully dressed, he walks over to you, his shoulders drooping slightly.
You clear your throat and open the door wider, a gesture for him to leave. Jungkook hesitates, stopping just in front of you, his hand brushing your arm gently. But you pull away, and his heart sinks further.
“I have to go—”
Jungkook cuts you off with a frustrated huff. “Y/n, if I did something you didn’t like, you need to tell me. I told you before, if I get too rough, I want to know… I'm sorr—”
“You weren’t too rough,” you laugh humorlessly, shaking your head. “I’ll text you later, okay? I really have to go—”
“Seriously?” He snaps, his eyes narrowing in disbelief. “Where? To Taehyung’s?”
Your head tilts as you look up at him, unimpressed. “Why do you just assume I’m going to another guy's? I could have a study group—”
“Because I know when your study groups are,” he shoots back, glancing at his phone and then at you. “And because you said we had a couple hours. It’s only been forty-five minutes.”
“Can I explain later?” you sigh, exasperated. “This is taking so lon—”
“Holy shit,” Jungkook mutters under his breath, shaking his head, jaw clenched as he brushes past you toward the front door.
He shoves his feet into his shoes angrily, staring at you as you quietly close your bedroom door and follow him. There’s a softness to your movement, a quietness that almost makes his anger dissolve. Almost.
“I’m not going to keep doing this.” His voice holds a cold finality, one that makes your eyes drop to the floor. When you finally look up, there’s a slight glassiness in your gaze, and his throat tightens. “I’m not going to let you make me feel like this anymore.”
You stay silent, your eyes flicking between his before you nod slightly and slip on your sandals. Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the strands as you open the front door. You stand there, waiting for him to walk through.
Jungkook glances at the corridor, then back at you, and his resolve immediately fucking crumbles. His lips part, ready to take it all back. Tell you he didn’t mean it. That he doesn’t care how many times you push him away, ignore his texts, put your situationship on hold while you see where things could go with another guy that could offer you what he couldn't. He’d still come back.
He’ll always come back.
But his eyes flick to your phone as it dings, a message from your ex, Taehyung, flashing across the screen. You meet his gaze briefly before you flip the phone over, hiding the notification. But it’s too late. Jungkook already saw it.
He leaves without a word.
“Dunno. Been like two days or something. Don't remember, don't care.” Jungkook’s voice is flat, casual, but tension lingers behind his words as his thumbs flick over the controller, eyes locked on the screen.
He and Jimin are sprawled out on their dorm couch, Jungkook playing FIFA while his best friend scrolls through his phone.
Jimin doesn’t even look up, fingers tapping lazily as he scrolls. “Why do you still pretend like you don’t care around me? I’m like the last person you should lie to.”
Jungkook’s jaw tightens, eyes focused on the screen as his player sprints down the pitch. But everything feels off, like the game’s moving slower than it should. His shot misses the goal by a mile, and his teeth clench hard. “I’m not lying.”
Jimin rolls his eyes amusedly, still swiping through his Instagram feed. “Mm, sure, Jungkookie. I believe you.”
“I’m not,” Jungkook snaps, offended, his grip tightening on the controller. He flicks back to the main menu and loads into another match after getting absolutely thrashed in the last one. “She hasn’t texted me, I haven’t texted her. Whatever. She’s probably back with her ex or something. Couldn’t care less.”
The small sniff that follows is almost imperceptible, but Jimin catches it, a knowing smirk tugging at his lips. “Ah.” He hums, not even bothering to look up. “You’re trying to convince yourself, not me. I get it. No worries then.”
Jungkook’s fingers freeze over the controller, jaw locking as his eyes snap to Jimin. He’s burning holes into the side of the blonde’s head, and it takes everything in him not to hurl the controller across the room. Meanwhile, Jimin, lounging comfortably on the other end of the couch, continues scrolling, completely unbothered.
Jungkook exhales harshly through his nose, turning back to the screen. His chest tightens, frustration building, making every movement feel stiff and out of place. The new match starts, but he’s not in it. The ball slides past him, and when another easy goal slips through his fingers, his teeth grit harder.
He can’t focus. Not on the game, not on anything. Because all he can think about is you. How you brushed him off like it was nothing, how you acted like he didn’t matter. And the worst part? You still haven’t texted.
Not once.
He keeps telling himself it’s fine. That he doesn’t care. But the tightening in his chest, the ache in his stomach — it all says otherwise. You both get around, and it’s no secret. Jungkook can’t even remember the last time he even cared about hearing from someone after hooking up.
But you?
You have him wrapped around your finger so tight that he hasn’t eaten properly for the past forty-eight hours, meanwhile you haven’t even sent him a single fucking text.
It’s pathetic. He's pathetic. And it’s all your fault.
Jimin’s voice cuts through his spiraling thoughts, softer but still pointed. “You know,” he starts, glancing up from his phone, “if you really didn’t care, you wouldn’t be this upset, Jungkookie.”
Jungkook sighs heavily, dropping the controller to the side without even pausing the game, dragging a hand through his messy hair in frustration. "Yeah, I know, hyung. But I don’t even know why she’s mad in the first place. Things were fine. Good, actually. Like really fucking good."
‹ ‹ ‹
“Holy fuck!”
Your gasp fills the room as you clutch the back of your thighs, holding your bent legs up while Jungkook drives his cock deeper inside you. His hips snap against yours with his athlete precision, his thick length slamming into your g-spot with each thrust, ripping strangled, throaty moans from your throat.
“Yes baby,” you whimper, your voice cracking. "So goo—uh! uhh, uhhh, my godddd!"
Jungkook’s chest heaves, his teeth dragging over his lip ring as he watches you fall apart beneath him. “I know, baby, I fucking know,” he groans, his voice rough, the sound of your wet cunt sucking him in driving him wild. “Feels so fucking good. Always take me so well, Y/nn. Such a pretty little pussy. Made for me, ah? Fuucck.”
Your nails dig into your thighs as you spread your legs wider, needing him deeper. "Yessss, uh, love your big cock, Jungkookie. M-makes me feel fucking dumb. Godddd, I love it."
He groans, his pace quickening, eyes locked on the way you tremble under him, your eyes rolled back, expression completely fucked out. His lips part to tell you how fucking pretty you look when—
The sound of your roommate’s keys jingling in the front door freezes him.
“Shit,” he curses under his breath, pulling out of you so fast it makes you wince. In a scramble, Jungkook jumps off the bed, grabbing his clothes and kicking them under the frame in a huff.
Your blanket is barely covering you when he dives toward your closet, slipping inside and shutting the door just as the front door swings open. Your heart sinks as you watch him disappear. You clear your throat, sitting up just in time for your best friend to step into the room.
› › ›
Jungkook leans back into the couch, arms crossed over his chest, scowling at nothing in particular. “See what I mean? We were good. Then, boom, she’s pissed.”
Jimin scoffs, still amused as he scrolls through his phone. “Are you fucking stupid?”
Jungkook turns to him, confusion written all over his face. “What?”
Jimin rolls his eyes, tossing his phone onto the coffee table and fixing his best friend with a deadpan stare. "You really don’t get it, do you?"
"Well, obviously fucking not, hyung. Can you stop talking in code and just tell me?”
The dim lights of the campus library flicker slightly as Jungkook pushes through the double doors, the sound of ice clinking against the sides of the drink in his hand echoing in the foyer. The space is mostly empty now, save for a few scattered students packing up their things, preparing to leave for the night.
His eyes immediately find you. You’re by the front counter, walking away from one of the tables, probably having just told the last few stragglers that the library is closing. For a moment, you don’t notice him, too absorbed in your task, your brows furrowed in concentration as you tidy up the space. But when he approaches the counter, heart lodged in his throat, your eyes finally land on him.
“Sorry, we’re closed for the n—” Your words falter as soon as you realize who’s standing before you. Jungkook, clad in a cozy hoodie, the hood pulled over his head, his big boba eyes skimming over your face. His expression softens as he blinks, shifting the drink in his hand.
“Hey,” he says quietly, placing the Dunkin’ cup on the counter in front of you before slipping his hands back into his pockets. “Can we please talk?”
Your eyes flicker from his face to the drink, lingering on the straw already placed in the cup, a chunk of the liquid missing. You wrap your fingers around the cup with an amused look, lifting it to take a sip of the caramel coffee.
Glancing at the time on the computer monitor beside you, you ignore the way him getting your order exactly right makes you feel and nod slightly. “Sure, but can it be quick? I’ve still got a bit of reshelving to do before I head off,” you hum, your gaze darting back to him.
“I’ll help?”
Jungkook’s gaze follows you as you step up onto the stool, reaching to place a book on the top shelf. He couldn’t tell you what the novel’s about, not even if you held a gun to his head. But he could tell you exactly what color panties you’re wearing, thanks to the perfect view your short skirt offers him every time you stretch up.
Baby blue, by the way.
Once the book is nestled between the others, you glance down at him, pushing your glasses back up your nose when they slip slightly. “Next one, please.”
He blinks, shaking off the haze clouding his brain, and hands you the last dusty book in his hands. His eyes trail over you, glued to the way you move as you place the book on the shelf, the scent of your coconut shampoo and vanilla-creme perfume making his head spin.
“You know, we’re almost finished, and you still haven’t done much talking,” you say lightly, your Docs clacking against the steps as you climb back down.
“You look so pretty today,” Jungkook blurts dumbly, his voice a little hoarse as he follows you down the aisle, pushing the book cart.
Your head tilts in amusement as you watch him get closer, his hood still tugged low over his hair. “Thank you, Jungkook. You look cute in your hoodie.”
“Y'still mad at me?” he asks with a cute little frown, pulling the cart to a stop before stepping around it to stand directly in front of you.
Your soft laugh hums through the quiet library as you shake your head. “Don’t think so.” You let him close the distance, his big hands ghosting over the sleeves of your sweater, sending shivers up your arms.
“Stop calling me Jungkook then,” he mutters, his lips brushing your ear as he leans down, resting his head in the crook of your neck, inhaling the scent he’s been craving for days.
“Isn’t that your name?” you feign confusion, lifting your hands to pull his hoodie down, fingers threading through the soft strands of his hair that appear.
Jungkook nips lightly at your neck in warning, the gentle bite making you let out a soft breathy noise, and he swallows hard. “Kookie or Jungkookie,” he corrects, his voice barely above a whisper as he presses little kisses into your skin.
“Kook?” you hum, your teasing tone making his hands slide further down your waist.
“No,” he scoffs under his breath, his lips finding a particularly sensitive spot on your neck without even trying. “Tae calls me that.”
A laugh slips from your lips, but he’s not laughing. He pulls you closer, his lips lingering on your skin as he mumbles, “I’m so sorry, Y/nn.”
He leans back to meet your gaze, and the intensity in his eyes makes your stomach twist. “I didn’t hide because I was embarrassed of you, I swear. I just—”
“Whoa,” you mutter, your hands pressing gently against his chest as you push him back a little. “I didn’t say that. Why are you—”
“Jimin hyung told me,” he pouts, taking a step closer as you step back. “I didn’t understand why you were mad, but he explained it to me, and—”
“You’re telling people about what happens between us?” you snap, moving around him. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I was confused and losing my mind,” he rushes out, his voice tight with frustration. “You hadn’t texted me since that day, and I was going crazy—”
“You didn’t text me either,” you shoot back, shaking your head as you grab the last three books from the cart and climb the step stool. “We’re not together, Jungkook. You don’t have to worry about hurting my feelings.” You laugh bitterly. “And anyway, you didn’t—”
“Bullshit,” Jungkook frowns, stepping closer to the stool as you shove the books onto the shelf with more force than necessary. “You were pissed at me.”
You don’t reply, your hands gripping the books tightly as you try to shove them into place, but your frustration makes them impossible to slide in properly. Jungkook keeps talking, and your hands shake as you fumble with the last book.
Then, with one final shove, the book slams into place, but your shoe slips against the edge of the stool. Before you can even begin to fall, his strong hands are around your waist, lifting you off the steps and plopping you safely on the ground.
“Y'okay?” Jungkook asks, his voice soft as he steadies you. His hands linger on your waist, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into your skin.
You don’t want to admit how flustered you feel, but his hands are so warm, so soft, and you don’t pull away. You just nod gently.
Jungkook leans in, his lips brushing your neck again as he mumbles, “You're usually private about your personal life, and I didn’t want you to worry about explaining anything to Nari that you didn't want to. Would never be embarrassed of you. Could never be."
Your heart softens at his words, and you can't control your body as it melts into him, your fingers curling into the back of his hoodie. His lips drag up the soft skin of your neck until they eventually find yours, and just like that, you forget why you were ever mad at the pretty fuck-boy in the first place.
His mouth moves hungrily against yours as he pushes you gently against the shelves and your breath catches, letting him lift you by your thighs until they're wrapped around his waist, his groin pressing right between your legs.
The kiss grows a little deeper, a little wetter, and your hands thread through his hair, tugging at the scalp and humming in delight when his groan vibrates against your lips. His tongue swipes against yours, his nose nudging up that your glasses lift and a soft moan slips from your lips, your own tongue trying to lick off all the caramel he stole from your drink.
Just as your hands slip under his hoodie, your phone starts buzzing in the cart. Jungkook pulls back, breathing heavily, his lips red and a little swollen as his long arm reaches for your phone. He hands it to you, letting your legs sink to the ground as he takes a quick peek at the screen.
His tongue flicks over his lipring in annoyance when he sees the name on the display. KTH.
You glance down at the phone in your hand, completely unbothered as you decline the call. Taehyung’s name disappears from the screen, and you lean up to press a soft kiss to Jungkook’s pouty lips before turning back to pack the stool into the now-empty cart.
Jungkook adjusts his hoodie slightly as he watches you push the cart back down the isle. He follows close behind, biting his lip to keep from breaking into a big fucking grin.
“Did you guys at least use a condom?”
“Shut up,” you laugh, nudging Jungkook’s side as the two of you make your way toward the library entrance. The lights flick off one by one behind you, your voice filling the quiet space. “I didn’t sleep with him.”
Jungkook has your bag slung over his shoulder, his pleased little smile plastered across his lips as he gives you a once-over. His tongue darts out to swipe over his bottom lip, unable to stop himself from staring.
You just look so sweet. Wrapped up in your white knitted sweater, smooth and soft legs disappearing under the hem of your little plaid skirt, hair falling imperfectly perfect over your shoulders. And those glasses. Those pretty fucking glasses perched on your pretty fucking nose. He doesn’t know why, but the sight of them makes his cock throb in his joggers. You just... do that to him.
Finally, you both reach the double doors. Jungkook pulls the keys from your bag, dropping them into your palm as he steps a little closer. The air between you stills for a moment, neither of you saying anything as he watches you carefully. His brow furrows slightly, his heart skipping a beat as you fidget with the keys in your hand, blinking up at him through those pretty eyes. He wonders what’s running through that brilliant mind of yours.
“I’m sorry, Kookie,” you say softly, your voice breaking the silence.
Jungkook frowns, shaking his head as he takes another step closer, the concern in his eyes clear. “Why?”
“You told me you wouldn’t let me ‘continue to make you feel this way,’ and I just—”
“No, Y/nn, I didn’t mean—”
“No, Jungkookie.” Your voice is firmer this time as you look up at him, your expression more serious. “You have every right to establish boundaries. If I make you feel confused or frustrated, you don’t have to put up with that.”
“I’d let you, like, spit on me and tell me I’m stupid, Y/nn,” he shrugs, flashing you a pretty grin. “Well, I am stupid, but still, I’d let you—”
“You are not stupid.” Your eyebrows pull together as you cross your arms, voice sharp with protectiveness. “Did someone call you stupid?”
Jungkook bites his lip, fighting to keep the smile off his face. “No, I’m just saying you could if you wanted to.”
“You’re such an idiot,” you huff, your arms falling to your sides as the keys jingle in your hand.
“Hey… you just—”
“Ah,” you murmur, giggling softly as you step closer, slipping your arms around his waist. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that. You’re the smartest boy,” you coo, tiptoeing up to press soft kisses under his jaw.
Jungkook’s lips purse as he bites back a smile, his heart swelling at your touch. He tilts his head down, his eyes locking onto your cute little pout, and with no resistance left in him, he lets his grin break free as he leans down to capture your lips with his.
A light groan escapes from his throat as your arms tighten around his waist, your soft, warm body pressing against his like it’s exactly where you belong. His hands slip up to cradle the back of your head, his fingers gently threading through your hair as his lips part against yours. His tongue slips through, finding yours effortlessly as the kiss deepens, his world melting away until it’s just you. Just the way it should be.
Until the weirdest thing happens.
It's almost as if the one person Jungkook least wanted to see on the entire planet had suddenly—
“Y/nn?”
Taehyung’s voice shatters the moment, and you immediately break away, furrowing your brows in confusion as you turn toward the sound. You’re still snug against Jungkook’s chest, his arms reluctant to let you go, tightening a little when he realizes who it is.
“Tae?” you blink, your hands dropping to Jungkook’s forearms, gently prying them loose as you glance up at him. His jaw is set tight and you wipe a bit of your lip gloss from the corner of his mouth. “One sec, Kookie. Lemme just—”
“Y/n…” Taehyung’s knock on the glass comes again, this time a little more impatient, and Jungkook's eyes roll to the back of his head.
“I’m coming,” you call out, slipping from Jungkook’s grasp and flicking the latch on the library door. The cold night air rushes in as Taehyung steps inside, a warm smile instantly spreading across his face as he spots you.
“Hey,” he greets, moving closer and wrapping his arms around you in a quick hug. You reciprocate, giving him a light pat on the back, but his hands slide down to rest around your waist, lingering in a way that makes Jungkook’s tongue poke the inside of his cheek.
Jungkook shifts his weight from one foot to the other, your bag slipping slightly down his arm as he stuffs his hands into his pockets, his narrowed gaze fixed on the back of Taehyung’s head.
“What’re you doing here?” you ask, stepping back from Taehyung’s hold, your brows knitting as you look up at him.
Taehyung sighs, letting his hands fall to his sides. “You weren’t answering my calls or texts for the past three days. I even went to your dorm and asked Nari what you were up to, but she told me you died and to go away, so… I’ve been trying all the places I thought you’d be.”
Jungkook’s brows shoot up, disbelief flickering across his face. The sheer guts it took for Taehyung to admit all that in front of him? And the fact that he was doing all that in the first place? He thought he was your biggest simp, but shit.
Then, as the words settle, a wave of relief washes over him. You haven’t talked to Taehyung in three days. So, you really weren’t texting him that night.
His heart soars.
You offer Taehyung a small smile. “I’ve just been really busy, sorry, Tae.”
Taehyung chuckles, shrugging lightly. “Yeah, seems like it…” His eyes flicker over to Jungkook, lingering on the bag hanging from his arm for just a second before he nods in acknowledgment. “Hey, Kook.”
The striker forces a tight-lipped smile, returning the goalie's nod. “Hey, Tae.”
The tension in the air is thick, making you clear your throat awkwardly. Being stuck in an empty room with the both of them? Fucking nightmare fuel.
You knew getting involved with two guys from the same sports team and friend group was a disaster waiting to happen. But in your defense, it wasn’t exactly the plan...
You’d already been hooking up with Jungkook casually for a while before Taehyung even entered the picture. In fact, the last time you had slept with Jungkook was right before a match that Taehyung had invited you to watch. You’d been texting with him for a while, and the plan was to go out to dinner after the game. Jungkook had never invited you to a game…
Anyway, not exactly your proudest moment.
It's just that when Jungkook had gotten all pouty and sad after you told him you wanted to see where things with Taehyung could go, and there were twenty minutes left before the game started…
It was a parting gift, okay?
Taehyung had been a great boyfriend, truly. Caring, funny, easy on the eyes — things had been going well. You weren’t even sure why you ended it after five months.
Maybe it had something to do with the way your stomach would twist every time you were out with the group, and Taehyung wasn’t the one making you laugh the hardest that night.
Maybe it had something to do with the way you’d sit in the bleachers, watching their games, but your eyes would somehow always drift to Jersey #1 instead of Jersey #30.
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that a twenty-minute quickie with #1 had been more intense, more mind-numbing than anything you experienced during five months with #30.
But those were just theories, of course.
“Have you eaten?”
Taehyung’s voice cuts through your thoughts, and you blink, refocusing on him. “Hmm? Uh, no. But I was going to—”
“Hanjie’s is open late. Did you wanna grab something for dinner?” he suggests, his tone hopeful as he looks over at Jungkook and adds, “You down, Kook?”
Your brows furrow instantly at the worst idea you’ve ever heard. As your lips part to impolitely decline the invitation, Jungkook responds faster than you can.
“Yeah, I could eat.”
Your eyes snap to Jungkook, wide with horror. He’s holding Taehyung’s gaze, the faintest hint of amusement tugging at the corners of his lips as he adjusts your bag on his shoulder. He glances at you, his head tilting slightly like he’s enjoying this far too much.
You narrow your eyes at him, disbelief written all over your face, before turning back to Taehyung. You’re about to put an end to this terrible plan, but Taehyung chimes in again, all smiles and casual energy. “Cool, let’s go.”
He pushes the door open, holding it for the two of you, looking back at you expectantly.
Your fists clench at your sides, and you stay rooted to the spot, but then Jungkook’s warm hand presses gently against the small of your back. “C’mon, know you’re hungry,” he murmurs, leaning down so only you can hear. “I’ll pay.”
You roll your eyes, but reluctantly step forward, letting him guide you into the cold night air. Taehyung happily lets the door swing shut behind you both, glancing back as Jungkook locks the double doors behind him with the keys you hadn’t even realized he’d slipped from your hands. He drops them back into your bag, pulling his hood back up over his head before stuffing his hands into his pants pockets.
You fall into step between the two football players, walking silently down the cold campus path toward Hanjie’s Sikdang. You hug your arms tighter across your chest, sending up a silent prayer that one of the street lamps overhead would give way and fall right on top of you.
You trail behind Taehyung and Jungkook, who are already making their way to a booth. They slide into opposite sides, both of them leaving an open space beside them, clearly expecting you to take a seat.
Your jaw clenches as you glance between the two options, your eyes drifting to a stool at the edge of the room. It's tempting, but dragging it all the way over to sit at the end of the table would make you look like a fucking freak, and so, with a resigned sigh, you walk toward the left side of the booth.
Jungkook bites back a smirk as you slide in next to him, promptly grabbing your bag to plop it on the other side of the seat, removing the barrier between you. His knee bumps yours under the table, and though you roll your eyes, you pick up your phone, pretending to check your notifications to hide the smile tugging at your lips.
Menus are passed around, and the three of you glance over them briefly. Taehyung orders a steak sandwich, while you and Jungkook opt for cheeseburgers and he gets fries for the table.
As the pretty waitress walks away, you steal a quick glance at Jungkook, curious if he noticed the way she blatantly flirted with him. But, to your surprise, he seems completely unfazed, swirling his straw in his drink with casual indifference. Hm. He definitely noticed.
Taehyung, ever the easygoing type, tries to break the silence by bringing up a lighthearted memory. From when the two of you were fucking dating.
"Y/nn always used to order iced tea on our dates," he chuckles, glancing at the drink both you and Jungkook just ordered. "Guess some things never change, huh?"
Your eyes flicker toward Jungkook, who already knows how much you love iced tea. He’s watched you order it countless times on group nights out, and sometimes, he’s even ordered it for you when you were running late or in the bathroom when the waiter came by. His lips pull into a tight smile as he takes a sip from his glass, clearly trying not to react to the comment.
"Yeah," Jungkook says, his voice casual but carrying a subtle edge. "I know."
The conversation drifts from small talk to more neutral topics, and soon the food arrives. You try to focus on your cheeseburger, nodding along as Taehyung chats about practice and classes, chiming in here and there. But somehow, the conversation keeps veering back to your shared past with him.
"Remember when you used to bring me snacks to practice? Gummies and pocky sticks?" Taehyung teases with a grin, leaning back in his seat as he takes a bite of his steak sandwich. "You were so good at taking care of me back then."
You laugh lightly, brushing it off with a nonchalant shrug. It's an old chapter of your life, one that no longer holds any weight. But beside you, Jungkook’s energy shifts. His body grows tense, his thigh pressing harder against yours as his grip on his burger tightens.
You glance over at him, your brows furrowing slightly. He’s clearly frustrated, and you just blink slowly. You didn’t care about Taehyung’s comments. Why should he?
"Yeah," Jungkook mutters, his voice low as he shoots Taehyung a tight smile. "I’m sure Y/nn’s still great at taking care of people."
There’s a sharpness to his words, a barely-veiled implication that makes you chew slower on your bite of the burger. You glance down at your plate, shaking your head subtly as discomfort creeps up on you. Taehyung, oblivious or unbothered to the underlying tension, laughs at Jungkook’s comment and nods along.
"Yeah, I’m sure she is," he agrees, his tone light and carefree.
You force a smile, but the entire situation feels like a cruel joke. You glance at the door, reconsidering your poor life choices. A free cheeseburger is definitely not worth the month’s supply of testosterone you’ve just inhaled in the past fifteen minutes.
"I'm tired," you say after another minute, setting down your half-eaten burger. Both boys glance up at you, Taehyung is the first to respond.
"Long day?" he asks softly, biting into a few fries.
You nod, reaching for a napkin to wipe the grease from your fingers. Jungkook’s gaze is heavy on the side of your face, and when you look up, you see him finish chewing before giving you a nod.
"Okay, let's go," he says, waiting for you to slide out of the booth.
You shake your head, gesturing toward the food still left on both their plates. “Finish eating, I’ll wait until you guys are done.”
Jungkook’s lips part, probably to insist, but Taehyung beats him to it. "I'm pretty much done... I can walk you back to your dorm if you want? It's getting dark out."
Your head turns to Taehyung, blinking at his unfairly gorgeous face before you smile appreciatively. "That's okay, Tae. It’s not far, I’ll be fine."
Jungkook looks down at his plate, his jaw working as his tongue runs along the inside of his cheek. Without a word, he picks up the last bite of his burger, shoves it into his mouth, and quickly chugs the rest of his iced tea. He swallows, then pats your thigh with finality. "C’mon, let’s go."
You glance up at him, noting the firm set of his expression as you grab your phone from the table. Jungkook reaches for your bag, sliding it off the booth as you both prepare to leave. Taehyung hums in surprise, stuffing a few more fries into his mouth before sliding out of the booth with a smile.
"Hey, no, if you’re still hungry, eat," you frown lightly, tilting your head at Taehyung. "We’ll wait."
Beside you, Jungkook’s hand tightens around your waist in protest, and you give him a pointed nudge in the ribs with your elbow. He exhales sharply through his nose, clearly annoyed but relenting.
Taehyung laughs through his mouthful, shaking his head before swallowing. "Nah, all good. I’m full now, let’s head out."
Jungkook’s hand slips from your waist momentarily as he tosses a few notes down for the bill and a tip before placing his arm back around you. Taehyung follows suit, placing his cut on top of Jungkook’s and tucking his wallet back into his pocket. He falls back into step with the two of you, still smiling as you guys leave the diner.
The walk back to the female dormitories isn’t long, the three of you strolling along the stony path under the soft glow of the streetlights.
Things are okay now, your stomach satiated and the fact that you're going to be tucked up in your bed soon easing your mind. Taehyung walks to your right, Jungkook to your left, the latter quiet, the former chatty. As the temperature drops even further, you can’t help the slight shiver that runs down your spine.
Taehyung notices immediately and stops his ramble. “Here,” he says, starting to shrug off his jacket, his voice as warm as ever. “You’re freezing. Take this.”
Normally, you would’ve accepted it without a second thought because 1. it's a cute boy offering you his jacket, and 2. why would you want to freeze to death?
But when you feel Jungkook tense slightly beside you, you pause. Suppressing the urge to roll your eyes, you gently rub your hand over Taehyung’s shoulder in thanks, offering him a small smile as you decline. “I’m fine, Tae, thanks though.”
As you glance over at Jungkook, you catch his eyes, narrowing yours as they shift up and down his hoodie. If he doesn’t want you to have Taehyung’s jacket so bad, he can offer you his own.
He holds your gaze, his lips quirking up in amusement as his tongue darts out to swipe over his lip. His hands easily drop to the hem of his hoodie, lifting it slightly to reveal his bare stomach with no shirt underneath.
You can barely suppress the laugh bubbling in your throat at the sight of his cute tummy after eating, but you keep your expression serious, raising a brow as if to say, Okay, and? Give it.
Jungkook tilts his head at you, his lips curving upwards, a breathy laugh escaping as he bites down on his lip ring. With a resigned shake of his head, he stops walking, both hands going to the hem of his hoodie as he starts pulling it off.
A snicker bursts out of you, and before he can expose himself any further, your hands fly out to stop him, tugging his hoodie back down. “Shameless,” you mutter, shaking your head, still laughing softly as you grab his arm and drag him along.
You fall back into step with Taehyung, who glanced back curiously at the two of you, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he shrugged his jacket back on. When you finally reach the steps of your dorm block, you climb up the first one, turning back to face them.
“Thanks for walking me home. Sorry I was a bummer at dinner.” You give a small, apologetic smile, your hands clutching the strap of your purse. “It was good, I’m just tired.”
Jungkook blinks, his eyes raking over you, hands shoved deep into his pants pockets as he remains quiet. Meanwhile, Taehyung shakes his head, his voice gentle. “Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. Love spending time with you, no matter how you’re feeling.”
Your heart tugs at his words, the familiar pang of guilt settling in your chest. You feel bad for ignoring his texts, but even worse because, as sweet as his words are, you wish they were coming from Jungkook instead.
God, you fucking suck.
“Thank you, Taehyungie.” You offer him a soft smile, setting your bag down on the step before stepping forward to wrap your arms around his neck.
He steps closer, his hands curling gently around your sides as he pulls you into a warm hug. His body relaxes slightly in your embrace, the sound of the nickname you'd always call him when you were together turning his limbs to jelly. Your hands rub gently across his back before you give him a light squeeze.
As you pull back, your eyes meet Jungkook’s. His expression is hard to read — his gaze on you, but not quite meeting yours. Taehyung’s hands reluctantly fall away from your waist, and he quickly wipes the disappointment from his face, replacing it with his signature bear-y grin.
You shift in your stance as Taehyung steps back, his eyes wandering around the dark, empty courtyard. A soft sigh lodges in your chest as the quiet stretches on, Jungkook continuing to stand there, his eyes still resting on you. Unmoving, silent.
After a long minute, Taehyung breaks the silence, his voice light but tinged with curiosity. “Ready to go, Kook?”
He glances at Jungkook, clearly surprised by his stillness, as if he expected him to have said goodbye to you properly by now — maybe with a hug or at least some words.
That makes two of you.
a/n ermm i know that dorms def do nott have seperate bedrooms at uni... 😭 i realized once i was on my final re-read and i was nawtt going back to re-edit it all 👄 so let's use our big imaginations for this one!! lemme know what u think? love youu <3
perm taglist: @elinaki92 @parapiop7 @photogenius-530 @crazy-eight17 @aalisiyahxstar @lovieku @apobangpogirlyyy @myjungkookthighs @whoa-jo @kooeuphoria @junecat18 @fr0ggieth1nk @joonwater
#📁bt.docx#jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook#jungkook imagine#jungkook fic#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#bts#jungkook fanfic#jungkook bts#bts jungkook#bts fanfic#bts angst#bts imagine#bts fic#taehyung#jimin
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minted: two (explicit) | myg
title: minted: two (explicit) pairing: street king!yoongi x street vendor!reader series: one | masterlist rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , action ; haegeum au , gang au summary: after a whirlwind of a detour, you have second and third thoughts about the guy you saved. who even is this man? and what the hell is in that bag? note: holy shit, y’all. thank you so much for the love on this series already! it’s been a minute since we started a new series here, so nerves were firing on all cylinders. but you all showed out and gave me enormous relief and motivation to keep going, so thank you! note 2: as always, this is dedicated to hali @sailoryooons for ur belated bday, nary @joonary for being a cutie pie and letting me adopt the tangerine cart girl idea in general, and luce @minttangerines for ur url and for being a wonderful friend. love you all! warnings: language, violence, weapons (guns), blood/wounds mentions, drugs, alcohol, trauma/pstd, poor reader :(((, but also YES READER???, tension to the max, inner turmoil, mint!yoongi, haegeum!yoongi, tatted!yoongi, his eyebrow is pierced, yoongi visuals in this one areeee… a ha ha, did i mention tension?, tense situations, crass af yoongi lol, reader is also a baddie but who is shocked, slow burnnnn drop date: september 30th, 2024, 9:03pm est word count: 9.8k help me @ god
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There’s something to be said about the human gut.
Not for being the source of multiple health aspects, nor the way it’s connected to the brain.
But, other than when violence tears it to shreds, it can be quite the defense mechanism. Just like yours churns and churns with each mechanical click of the elevator shaft.
Who is this person next to you?
Who exactly did you decide to follow upstairs hours ago, killing your daily life to save and join on the run?
You don’t know if you release your hand or if Yoongi lets it fall, but you take this unlinking to create space. As you slide your gaze toward your companion, he merely shifts his weight and finds interest in increasing, beeping numbers.
How can someone’s profile be so troublingly handsome? You’d be able to think more clearly if he wasn’t both attractive and dangerous. Or if you simply weren’t on the verge of collapse.
Frankly, if you didn’t just murder a man you’d pass out as soon as you took too long to blink.
To keep yourself alert—and to hopefully gather some much needed intel—you suddenly question aloud, “Where are we?”
No answer.
Alright.
“That driver called you Agust,” you recap on a second go. “What was that about?”
All Yoongi does is stare at his reflection in opulent, dim mirrored walls. Or whatever else he’s doing besides talking.
Okay. Well.
You can face forward, too.
“Those guys after us,” you try a third time, because who are you to give up now even if he radiates annoyance. “They didn’t look like Crane.”
“Doesn’t mean they weren’t.”
Your neck almost snaps when you turn. “Are you kidding me?”
As you watch Yoongi scorn the ceiling again, you can’t believe he doesn’t agree.
Mm. Does he?
From the flex of his jaw, you have to assume you’re right to some degree. Because it looks like he’s very, very bothered by the people that chased you down.
If those weren’t any of the high-powers but had equal resources and numbers…
What the hell were they? Where did they even come from?
Geez, it’s freezing. Is a drop in temperature the best barrier to you making sense of things? You can’t even appreciate the way Yoongi’s veins protrude with every adjustment he makes to that mysterious duffle bag.
Lies. You absolutely can. But there’s no way in hell you’re ever complimenting that. Or anything about him anymore because he clearly doesn’t want anything to do with you!
Why did he even hold your hand? Was that just a ploy, too?
But that taxi drive…
Yoongi looks down before lightly scuffing his shoe, and both of you fall silent as you finally give up with a huff.
Massively dehydrated. Sore. Still covered in a myriad of unmentionables and now being ignored by the guy you saved.
All you wanna do is go home, and you don’t even know where that is.
How far did you travel? What district is this? You’ve never heard of a grey zone, but they seem fairly peaceful even at night. Neutral enough for you to consider relocating even if it meant sleeping on the street.
That brings up another question. “If we’re in a grey zone, how did you know—”
A ding interrupts your last thought, and you look to see where you ended up.
But the elevator doesn’t say a number. Only letters? What kinda floor did you stop on?
One thing’s for sure, though. Whatever room you end up getting, if there’s only one bed you’re hogging it or taking the…
Floor…
There are many things that have shocked you in your lifetime. Many things just from today that had your head positively and forever reeling.
But when the elevator doors slide open, you can’t even fathom what the fuck you’re dealing with.
And in this second, more than ever, you understand how ludicrously out of your element you really are.
“Holy shit,” you blurt, barely hearing the huff at your side.
Don’t elevators usually open up to hallways? Why are you walking into an entire living space? Is this a real place people choose to sleep in for a night? A whole floor?
Forget a whole floor, it’s a whole other place.
You slowly survey everything, wondering how much this has to be because you have never seen a living space so big. Or pretty. Or anything like this.
The ceilings vault and the furniture looks nothing like you’ve ever seen. Everything looks pristine. Clean. Is that a whole kitchen?
How are there living arrangements this big? This one place is bigger than your entire apartment level back home.
And here you are: speechless, virtually homeless, and dragging your filth onto white marble floors.
Perfect.
“What.”
You turn at the scrape of Yoongi’s voice, wondering why now is when he finally chooses to acknowledge you. Head pounding, you ask outright, “Who… Who even are you? What is this place?”
He levels your stare before walking towards a long couch, dumping the duffle and raking his hair back in minted waves. “There’s a shower in every bedroom. Take your pick.”
…Is that really his only response?
“That’s not what I asked,” you fire back, wondering what the hell his problem is so you can add more out of spite.
“But it’s what you need.”
“Say what now?”
The fucking nerve? Even though you obviously, desperately need one, hearing him mention it makes you wanna re-use the chopsticks in your pocket.
But Yoongi simply waves you off, grabbing a remote and flicking on a television so wide you would struggle to reach both ends.
This is all too much.
“You know what I need? To go home,” you huff out, leaving fire in your determined trek to the elevator. “Have a nice life, Yoongi. Or Agust. Whoever the fuck you are.”
You get to the door and run into a dirt-slicked forearm. “The fuck are you doing?”
“Shouldn’t be that hard to figure out.”
“You serious?”
“Yes, I am. So move.”
Yoongi pauses, jaw working overtime before he steps aside—wait he’s gonna let you go that easily?
…Oh.
That was certainly not what you expected, but what else would you even think? This isn’t one of those stories that ends perfectly after trials and tribulations. Yoongi has proven more than once—in mere hours—that he’s no regular civilian.
But despite that, you blink before freezing at a terrible realization.
No matter how you slice it, you’re much better off with him right now than you are by yourself. Even if he is a secretive criminal with a smoking gun.
He did keep you alive that whole chase.
But there’s the smallest, tiniest chance that you aren’t quite safe with him, either. You don’t even know who this man is anymore—maybe you never did.
So in a quick decision, you skim his side to slap the elevator button, chucking daggers at his brows until he leaves you to wait alone.
Good. You don’t need this. You can find your way back to your city block somehow and live the life you’ve chosen to lead again.
Yes. You can do all of that by yourself. The chase is done.
And so is your story with the man that will never buy your tangerines again.
Grabbing your sleeve, a second fact stings your fingers. A jacket woven in Dragon teal.
Shit. You need to ditch this, too. Either right now, or before you get the hell out of this grey zone because if you don’t, this is the biggest target you could ever have on your back.
No good. No good no good you didn’t plan any of this well at all. Fucking pride blinding you to everything else logical. Is this how your story ends? Because of regret and resistance?
You wait for the sliding doors, about to leave the biggest room you’ll ever see to occupy a box. How poetic.
Your heart pounds as you close your eyes. Yoongi just cut you loose; it’s obvious he doesn’t care so why should you? No going back now. You’ll figure it out. The doors are finally opening.
And someone’s inside?
Wait.
Your brain both whirrs and skids to a halt at the sight of the staff member occupying the elevator. When they give you a look, you find your hand drifting towards your back pocket.
Fucking hell, relax. You should be safe with a staff member, right? They wouldn’t be out to kill you. This is just your adrenaline on its haunches.
However, one foot in the elevator and your senses go haywire.
Because you can’t do this alone. You aren’t nearly as prepared to brave this foreign space as you need to be. With red in your hands and Dragon on your back? Absolutely not.
You bow to the hotel staff before you face forward into the expanse.
And as the doors start to close, you see Yoongi’s stare over his shoulder, storming with emotions you can’t name.
Yeah, you fucked up.
Fuck.
Fuck you actually made a big mistake go back don’t let the elevator close shit—
As you lunge for the door, you get your arm through to block it from closing, turning to the employee inside and seeing their expression change.
What was that about?
“Sorry,” you blurt to their pressed and polished grey uniform. “I forgot something inside.”
“I can wait, Miss,” they immediately offer, to which you politely and cautiously decline.
“No need.” When you step out of the elevator, something happens that you think about hours and hours later. “I’ll come down when I’m ready, thank you.”
You can suddenly breathe again. Why was it so stuffy in there?
The worker bows stiff. “As you wish.”
Without pause, you nod, waiting until the doors close to face someone turned away.
Ugh. It’s like Yoongi knew you weren’t gonna leave. Either that, or he really didn’t give a crap about what you did at all.
Either way, fuck this guy and fuck your indecisive ass!
In full aggravation, you march through the entrance before grating out, “You’re lucky I—”
“Shower.”
“What?”
“The blood,” he calmly breathes. “If you’re gonna hit the streets, wash it out.”
“It isn’t mine.”
“I know.”
Your mouth snaps shut.
Fuck. Yoongi’s right.
“Okay. Well,” you scoff, “Good point but how can I trust you to not do anything.”
When he tilts his head with a bored, unamused, borderline ticked off expression, you almost scoff before he drawls,
“Not interested.”
Oh. He’s…
Oh.
But the taxi and the hand-holding and the the the kiss what the hell? Was your liplock not up to this Dragon’s standards? Why are you questioning something so trivial?
The nerve. You plunge your shoulders in exasperation, hating how you chose to put yourself in another situation with this pain in the ass and he isn’t even… “I swear to—You know what? Good. Not interested, either.”
A lie.
Scrambling, your stomach speaks the next sentence for you, “But there better be food when I come out cus you robbed me of lunch today. So do something about that.”
Fucking hell you do not need his lips to quirk up so deliciously. That one look completely offsets what he just said and annoyingly tickles your core.
Stop. Focus. You cannot entertain any of those thoughts so ignore him and find a bedroom.
Opening the first door you can see, you continue your tirade, “And no more stealing my chopsticks.”
“Closet.”
Of course it’s a closet! Shutting it with force, you let out a high curse. “Who needs a closet here? Whatever, just—figure it out, I’m starving.”
“Yes, princess.”
You flick Yoongi off as you blaze down the hall, not even knowing nor caring if he sees or not.
The next door works, and you shut him out before falling back onto its weight, so fraught with emotion that you can’t even register the appearance of the room.
Today has aged you multiple years. So much has transpired ever since this afternoon that you can’t even think in straight nor curved lines. As soon as you remember something, another thought juts between. Why are you simultaneously thinking about dingy, stained floors while agonizing over Yoongi’s lips? Is there a place other than hell or heaven you can settle on?
As soon as you’re physically and mentally patched, you are out of here.
The plan is simple. Shower, eat, give this man a piece of your manic mind, then go home.
Although… It would be nice to at least know what’s in that duffle. If it’s something worth taking you could finesse a piece of the loot.
Swallowing dry, you push yourself off the door and finally notice a flood of ambient light.
At your side, you come across an expansive bathroom, eyeing the wall-to-wall entrance before taking in the center shower with disdain and awe.
The whole setup is lavish.
Does the water just fall straight from the ceiling and into that large square tub? This looks nothing like your cramped, chipped one back home. There’s even lush plants lining the area and towels already folded nearby for use.
Maybe you did get killed on the run and you’re in some type of dreamworld.
Too bad you aren’t alone.
As you drag tired feet onto heated tile, you search for the shower knobs, realizing you have a whole panel to work with instead.
Uhh.
What.
You quickly find that one button blows water like a hose straight from the top, scaring you so bad you jump. When you hastily try another, something whirrs in the floor that has your brows kissing—
“You good?”
Fuck!
You flinch and hit the wall, groaning when you see Yoongi lazily resting against one side of the bathroom entrance. Both of your voices echo in the extravagant interior.
“You ever knock?”
“No.”
“Shocker.”
He walks up the tiny steps, and you’re more than relieved you’re still wearing his jacket. When he gets closer, you turn and face the panel, “I can figure it out.”
“Move.”
You get slightly displaced as he gets close, resting a hand on the wall while bending to operate the buttons. As you inhale his musk, you respond to his second question instead of his first. “What?”
“Is this fine,” he repeats, checking the settings before turning to the shower area.
Oh. Wow. It’s a lot more than fine.
A circle of rain falls into a beautifully lighted tub, steam wafting through the glow and coating your skin.
You’re so entranced that you are quite literally left speechless. Skirting around your present company, you gaze up, down, silently observing the plants sway with the shower air.
Strangely, this whole bathroom makes everything you’ve seen today believable because of the sheer wonder of it all. It’s almost enough to make you forget what you’ve done.
Almost.
When you pause, you see Yoongi watching your face from beyond the rainfall. And he looks so handsome, even now, not doing a thing.
Is it because he’s clearly roughed up but still so poised? Very unlike you in your banged up, dirty state?
Huffing, you fold your arms a little too harshly—out of jealousy or whatever else, who is to say. “I’m good now,” you proclaim, keeping your walls high. “I can do the rest myself.”
Again with that little slant.
Ignore him ignore him. If Yoongi keeps doing that, you’re really gonna have to brave the outside world instead of dying by smirk. A tub has never been so interesting in your life.
“Suit yourself.”
You look up again.
But he’s already left you alone.
Solely to undress and contemplate what the hell he implied by that.
Why did you walk left today instead of right?
Under scorching rain in the middle of luxury, this is the question you repeat in your head. Watching all the burnt streams of your decision swirl, and swirl, and swirl.
The blood will never wash out.
Does the price of saving a life have to be this high? It must be somewhat divine, being that in order to save, you took. If only there was another way to achieve that end goal. Though there’s no way to do it all over again to be sure.
Staring at four chopsticks on the ground, you try to assure yourself. You need to.
Because at least you succeeded.
But will your price be more damning because of the one you saved?
Rushing water mutes your hearing as it pours onto sore limbs. When you reach for the scrub for a third time, you make sure to really dig, scraping at every. Single. Inch. In a last attempt to cleanse yourself completely.
Knowing that even after the water runs clear, you still see nothing but red.
You chose left today.
If you had chosen right…
Doesn’t matter.
Your palm tingles.
Blood never really washes out.
Holy fuck, you don’t have clothes to change into.
Wrapping yourself in plush material, you hastily pad around freezing floors as you think of a plan.
You can’t just ask for them. How would Yoongi even have any for you? The jacket was more than enough borrowing for today and you’re in a hotel room, not his place.
Thank the universe.
But the matter is pretty urgent. Because you’d rather burn your belongings before putting them on again. Which leaves zero clothing and a thousand issues. Fuck.
Dragging feet to the massive sliding doors, you steel your resolve. Hoist your shields back upright.
Because there’s no choice. You’re just gonna have to dread another conversation with this man. An embarrassing, awkward, unprecedented shit why is he in the bedroom!
You flinch backward as you slam the door closed. Peeking out, you gawk, “What the hell are you—?”
Did Yoongi just pocket a phone?
The duffle rests at his feet.
Wait. Did he stay in here while you showered? Thank god you had the foresight to slide all the doors shut because you definitely spent a lot of your time scrubbing like mad or standing completely still.
No. Yoongi’s hair is wet, so he did shower at some point. And he’s donning a robe, which is precisely what made you slam the door shut.
How can he look like royalty wearing that? The material is quite lush and silken, but still plain. It makes no fucking sense and you wanna rip it right off—
Gathering yourself, you rush out, “Why are you in here?”
“You took too long.”
“So? That doesn’t—”
“In my shower.”
Wait. What? “Oh.”
You slide the door open a little more to check his claim. And now that you finally see the room, you can tell it’s clearly been used already, clothes and bottles scattered about. “You said pick one.”
“I did.” Yoongi turns to drop something onto a dark comforter. “Figured you picked it on purpose.”
“No, I… I didn’t notice the room.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he says after a brief look your way. “Not sharing the bed, though.”
“No need,” you snip. “I’m leaving soon.”
Motherfucker. Yoongi only regards his sheets with a smile that triggers your fight response. And you almost—almost—drop the towel.
Speaking of. How are you even standing in his vicinity with only a single piece of cloth? Are you seriously that exhausted you didn’t even think twice about it?
Suddenly very, very aware of yourself, you squeak, “Umm.” He waits. “I don’t have any clothes.”
“That’s what you get for kicking me out so quick.”
Your jaw hits the floor. “So what, I’m walking around with a towel? Are you out of your mind? If you think I’m some—”
“Fuck, relax,” he slowly groans to the ceiling. “I was gonna say there’s robes in the closet.”
You snap your mouth closed so hard it jangles. “Then just say that!” And you slam the partition closed before fast walking to find them.
Missing the way Yoongi huffs before staring hard at his bedroom door.
On your second arrival into his room, your steps and demeanor are a lot calmer.
Is it because he’s a lot calmer, too? Maybe. Is it also because you smell food, realizing he did exactly what you wanted? Maybe more so.
Noticing a table situated near balcony doors, you blink before regarding Yoongi’s sitting form on one of the chairs outside.
A man lounging while smoking in a robe should not be this alluring. And yet, that’s the only word you can think of to describe him.
Throat drying and aching, you slowly walk over and take a seat, already ravenous enough to dive into broth head first. But you eye Yoongi while retrieving new chopsticks, scowling when all he does is flash teeth through the glass.
Do not engage do not engage do not engage.
Pretending not to care and severely failing, you focus on your—
“You’re really mad about that, huh.”
You snap your head up to see him leaning on the doorway. “I was hungry.”
“There was a cup of them on your table.”
“So why didn’t you grab those instead!”
Yoongi ticks his brows before peering into the night. And he stays like that for awhile, letting a breeze lift his damp locks. “Didn’t expect to see you there,” he admits. “Gotta say you threw me off.”
Nu uh. No more heart skips for today. “I didn’t expect to see you, either,” you too choose to be honest. “Thought I’d never see you again.”
“You were going to.”
As curious brows furrow, you break your utensils apart. “Figured something happened.” Guess you’re being honest about a lot of things. “Or you found another tangerine girl.”
Yoongi holds his look before taking a drag, smoke spiraling around his words, “Why were you even over there? You’re a bit far from Crane.”
You blink at his deflection.
What was that about? What is that look for?
Holding his gaze because you aren’t done challenging him, you calmly answer, “I was shopping.”
“Shopping.”
“Mmhmm.”
Falling silent, he observes a little longer before flicking ash off his cigarette.
And just like that, the conversation dies.
It’s for the best anyways. If Yoongi kept prying, he was gonna get closer to the truth. And you wanna slip around that as much as possible.
But he keeps standing in the doorway, inked arm bending as he breathes in smoke. Donned in a dark robe and topped in teal, he suits Dragon perfectly. Way too perfectly.
Pretending not to care and severely failing, you focus on your noodles instead.
Your noodles.
Your noodles.
You’re not hungry anymore.
Something horrid jams up your throat, and you run through your day in flashes. The restaurant. The food. Dragons. The chopsticks. The kill. The chase. Yoongi. The kill the kill the kill.
Dirt and shouts and lifeless lips clog your hearing, and your grip loosens completely as your vision shakes and shakes why couldn’t Yoongi have gotten anything else why does it have to be—
A hand.
A robed arm.
Your new utensils come back into view.
But when you face reality, you don’t see them put them back into your hand. You don’t even see them dug in your noodles and left there.
Instead, you watch as Yoongi plants one palm on the table, slowly lifting strands from the bowl and staring right into your eyes,
“Eat.”
Words. Get them out. Something something communication. Key is communication. What the fuck is happening to your brain?
“I can’t,” you finally croak out. “I’m not.. I’m not hungry.”
“You are.”
“Not anymore.”
Nose scrunching, Yoongi suddenly drops the food and dumps himself on the chair nearest, stretching his leg and revealing a littering of scars. “Didn’t know you were fine with wasting food.”
The icy descent of his tone freezes your bones.
“Thought you of all people would hate that.”
“I—I’m not—It’s not that—”
“Then eat.”
“I literally can’t—”
“Water. Food. If you’re gonna waste all my shit, then leave.”
“What?”
Is he serious? You’re in the midst of post-traumatic shock and he can’t take the hint? You’re so appalled by this man that you can’t even think straight.
“You heard me. Stop acting like you didn’t.”
“Oh, I heard you,” you snap. “Just double-checking what the fuck you said.”
“So you gonna leave or just sit there? If you’re staying I’ll just walk out the roo—”
“Don’t.”
Both of you still at your words.
And you have to force your palms to unfurl on your quivering thighs. One knuckle. Another. Nails leave half-moons in your skin.
Breath haphazard, you finally break. “Just,” you swallow, hard. “I’m not wasting it just give me a sec.”
You don’t want to tell Yoongi why you want him to stay. Despite him being the most infuriating person you’ve ever met, it beats the alternative. And you don’t want the alternative. Truthfully, that’s another reason why you left the elevator earlier.
Yoongi looks pissed as hell.
But he hasn’t moved.
And that’s enough to get you to pick up your chopsticks and try again.
You stare. Stare. Stare. Mustering courage and inhaling all the aromas you indulged in just earlier today.
Fuck, you wanna hurl.
“You’re gonna have to get used to this.”
Your gaze snaps to his, brows and thoughts knitted in disbelief. “What?”
“This feeling.” Yoongi looks out the glass doors, hands resting on the arms of his chair. “The faster you do, the better.”
There’s no way he’s serious. Get used to it? What reason would you ever have for doing that? Caustic, you scoff, “Why, so I don’t waste more of your food?”
You’ve never seen someone laugh in a negative way. But he does before sliding his eyes over. “So when you have to do it again, you don’t lock the fuck up hours later.”
You shoot up from your chair, hellbent on oh fuck you stood up too fast. “You—”
Yoongi just watches as you grab the table for balance, wincing from the pangs in your head. Words grind through your teeth, unable to fully form beyond the light assaulting your brain.
“Like I said.”
Palms press against your forehead before you slump back into your chair.
“It’s better in the long run.”
Technically, he’s right. It’s better in the long run if you get used to this.
But there’s no way you can do it again. Who does he think you are? Yoongi’s got to know that you aren’t planning on making this a daily habit. This isn’t you. You only killed to protect somebody. Killed to save the person telling you to basically get over it.
Fucking hell, this sucks.
Frustration and exhaustion sting the corners of your eyes.
Eat. Build your strength and get the hell out of here. Deal with it deal with it deal with it.
As you regrettably pick up your chopsticks, you don’t care if your tears season your noodles. And quite frankly, you don’t give a shit if Yoongi watches them fall, too.
Because they’re liquid anger. Hot trails blazing down your face, hardening into sticky paths and dried rivers.
“What were you looking for.”
Your eyes slide up to regard him, his arms folded and brows low. Because of course he doesn’t care about your state, either. Of course he’d rather entertain his curiosity. “Nothing you need to know,” you mutter, banning him from knowing another truth.
“Did you find it.”
You swipe at both your eyes.
As spice coats your tongue, Yoongi keeps prying, “Something you needed to go all the way there for?”
“Fuck off,” you dismiss, slurping and swallowing with ease. “I don’t have to answer you.”
“You already are,” he responds, confident. “Now tell me. Is there one in particular you need?”
Wait. You barely gave anything away, so how is Yoongi asking the right questions? There’s no way he actually knows what you were looking for. No way in hell.
This man is more dangerous than you thought.
“Why do you even care,” is all you choose to say, more focused on your food now because above everything else, it’s quite fantastic. It somewhat reminds you of a past home, and you can’t help but escape to those distinct walls. “It’s irrelevant to you.”
“But I have what you want.”
You take another bite before stilling, looking up to see Yoongi propping his head with roughed knuckles. “You’re lying,” you drawl to his smugness, trying to act as if he didn’t just figure you all the way out. Because he didn’t. There’s no way. “And I’m still leaving.”
“If you stay, I’ll show you.”
When you leer over your soup, he simply stares back with no hint of emotion.
And you’re so curious about what he means that you finish your whole bowl.
When you push it forward, you understand exactly what Yoongi did. It worked perfectly, and you have to hand it to him even though he mangled your character minutes beforehand. “Thank you,” you offer some manners. “This was goo—”
The scrape of a chair cuts you off, and your sentence dies in midair as you watch your runaway partner vacate his seat.
Good riddance.
He knows how to stay on your bad side, that’s for damn sure.
But Yoongi simply heads back out to the balcony for another light. So you chalk up his swift exit to vices and not wanting to breathe your air. Or maybe he’s done with his fun and is already writing you off before you head out.
Clearing your bowl from the table, you walk out of the bedroom and bring it to the large kitchen, noting with a scowl that it’s obnoxiously bigger than half your floorplan back home.
Yearning pierces right through your chest.
The elevator is right over there.
You showered, you ate. You can leave as soon as you clean your dish.
Are you way too curious about what Yoongi’s gonna show you? Yes. But is that gonna stop you from getting out of here? No.
Well. This robe is hugging your figure perfectly and feels way too comfortable to just use for an hour or so… Plus, if you ditched it now, Mister Morals will scorn you for wasting that away, too.
How rude of him to assume that about you. Of course you aren’t wasteful. The only times you let things go are when you absolutely have to, like you should have back in that noodle shop instead of braving the back staircase.
Scoffing to no one, you scrub your bowl in the sink, grunting explicatives and stabbing Yoongi with curses until you hear a distinct beep.
Was that the elevator?
You cut the water off with a twist.
Cautiously, you make your way across the kitchen, peeking around the corner to appease your curiosity and spike your anxiety.
A bellhop? Another grey uniform looking to and fro to survey the area. It’s the same person that sent a look of panic your way before you went up to the room.
And your defense mechanism blares.
But before you can hide behind the partition, their eyes lock onto yours. Arm outstretched, the staff is motioning for you to… join them? Why?
You’re the one bunking with a gangster. Why does this person make you even more uncomfortable? This feeling is just like the one you had when you called the elevator the first time. Was your gut warning you then, too?
Maybe it’s because you don’t like the staff thinking they can come in unannounced. Grey zone etiquette or not, you can’t see how this is ever appropriate. In fact, it poses so many safety concerns. How is this okay?
Walking into the foyer, you rest a hand on a robed hip. “Can I help you?”
“I’m the one trying to help you,” they whisper, harsh and with another swipe of their hand. “You have to get out while you can.”
Wait. What do they mean while you can? “And why’s that?”
Sputtering, the bellhop sticks one foot out the elevator while pleading and, for some reason, that pisses you all the way off. “There’s no time to—”
“Get. Your foot. Off my floor.”
Is that fear in their eyes or surprise? “Oh, apologies. I didn’t realize you were… I thought—”
“Thought what?” Your arms fold, weight shifting to your other tired foot. “Speak up.”
Frankly, you don’t know where this newfound energy is coming from. All you know is that there are certain things you still despise and this person is ticking all the boxes.
“I thought you were taken, Miss. I’m here to save you.”
Pausing, you grip your arms, feeling silk gather under your palms.
There’s a lot you tolerate. Many things that a lot of people can’t. But someone assuming you’re the weak one that needs saving? There is no quicker way to lose your interest.
Stepping towards the elevator, you unfurl your arms, robe swaying and billowing around your freshly showered legs.
“Yes, that’s right. Come on, we can take you away.”
Hand on the entrance, you lean forward. “You’re not taking me anywhere,” you command, finger pressing the button at your side. “And you aren’t coming back up here until I say so.”
Slowly, the doors slide shut, your reflection two halves in the metal shine.
Well.
So much for leaving.
You may spend more time here than you thought.
With more thoughts swirling, you spin, heading back into the kitchen to pick up the same bowl you were washing. Hoping you and your gut made the right call.
Yoongi’s a criminal and a madman. But he’s not… the worst. At least, not horrible enough to warrant someone coming up to steal you away.
Besides. Is Yoongi aware that staff can come and go as they please? He seems like the type of guy that would hate that.
Staying vigilant seems to be a little more important now.
It’s soon after, when you’re placing the dish somewhere to dry, that you hear noise in the living room beyond the countertop. Looking up, you see someone much more familiar enter the space.
Hmm. Whatever’s in that duffle must be worth millions for Yoongi to lug it around everywhere.
As he dumps it next to the couch again, you don’t choose to ask about it just yet. Only because you want to ease into it later when you’re both not at each other’s throats. And while you’re not reeling from another strange encounter at the elevator.
So you go with a safer question instead, choosing not mention what just happened. “Is this whole floor… your place?”
Yoongi looks up. “Only when I need it to be.”
Interesting. “Does anyone else know about it—”
“Do you always ask this many questions?”
You blink. “I mean. I don’t get by selling fruit cus I’m quiet.”
“You’re quiet with me.”
“And even then I get you to talk.”
Yoongi frowns slightly before moving away, more towards the sliding door leading out to another outdoor area.
God, this place is obnoxiously huge. There’s still a whole other half you haven’t seen yet.
When you peer out, you watch as he leans against the railing, seeming to look both up at the building and down at the streets below.
Well. If you aren’t leaving anytime soon, may as well offer some sort of peace offering. Maybe the two of you just need to chill the fuck out.
Rummaging through the kitchen, you manage to find some high quality beer in the fridge. On your walk to the sliding glass, you’re reminded of the time you gave him one before when he helped fix your cart.
That was so long ago.
You’re so lost in thought that you barely register Yoongi whipping a hand to his waist when you walk outside. But you catch the metal just in time.
“It’s me!” you quickly alert before regressing back to annoyance, “Really…”
You’ve had way too much to deal with today. You don’t need a bullet in your chest to be another problem.
Especially since his little maneuver showed a bit more skin than you meant to see.
Yoongi eyes you before his shoulders rest, and you stride forward to offer up the cold can in your palm.
But you decide to hesitate while he goes to grab it, and you instead open it to have some.
Ugh. High quality, your ass. This one is way too bitter.
Your companion snorts as you make up an excuse, “I’ve had better.”
“Do you even drink?”
“Well, yeah,” you pout. Needing to prove it, you decide to keep the can. “Lemme try again.”
Somehow, this leads to you sharing the beer with him, tasting the mix of alcohol and smoke even after he tosses another cigarette off the ledge.
It’s not quite enough to forget, but it’s certainly helping. Observing the clouds so close and the city so far beneath your toes is extremely calming. It’s almost like you’re flying.
“It’s different here,” you mention out of the blue.
“This sector?”
“This high up.” Breathing in altitude, you sigh. “I’ve never been higher than my fourth story. It’s nice.”
“It’s usually silent, too.”
Your eyes slightly stab. “Whatever. You like having me around and just won’t admit it.” At this, Yoongi avoids direct contact. “Mmhmm. Don’t even try to hide it.”
“You’re useful to me.” You freeze. “That’s why you’re here.”
You shake your head. For someone deeming you useful, Yoongi’s pretty nonchalant about you dipping. Taking a tangy sip, you clarify, “But you don’t care if I leave? If someone comes to take me?”
He takes the offered can. “Mm.”
That answers that.
You should probably still tell him about what happened, though. His reaction could give more away than his words.
Instead, you drink in the night with your eyes. Knowing that you should know better about the company present.
The more you converse with Yoongi, the more you pick up. And one of those sad facts is that he doesn’t give a shit about anything you do or don’t do. Because all he really cares about is what he needs.
You can’t do anything to change him. Fix him. Whatever exists in fairytales. So you decide to take the night in stride. Not give a shit about him, either, per se.
Your curiosity gets the better of you now. Not just about what he’s gonna show you, but about that duffle. You quite literally don’t have anything to lose anymore, so may as well go for the question you’ve been wanting to ask all day.
“I was gonna ask for a cut of that,” you divulge with a head-tilt to the bag. “But figured you won’t even show me.”
“Why not?”
“Uhh.” You didn’t expect this. “You don’t like questions? You’re always secretive?”
“Never talk to the streets, princess. They’ll snitch on everything you say.”
“That’s deep,” you admit, taking a once full beer in your palm. “But I’m no snitch.”
“I know.”
Your look carries a slight pang.
“Come here.” Both of you walk inside as he plays with his lighter. When you round the couch, Yoongi dumps the bag right onto the cushions. “If you wanna see what’s in here, do it.”
You stare before slowly walking forward and kneeling to unzip the bag. As your slide reveals the contents, you’re nervous about what you’ll see.
But when it’s open, you freeze.
It’s all…chil-don? Tons of money wrapped in sleek stacks with edges so… Crisp. New.
Wait.
These patterns.
These are il-don?
Holy fucking shit there’s no way these are real. This is currency seven generations old. The first ever of the established system. Worth more than anything in current circulation, especially in their pristine state. Forget being worth millions, these are next to priceless.
You’ve never seen them like this.
“They’re some of the last in mint condition.”
The shock value is so high you forgot you were alone. Slowly turning, your breath catches as you ask, “How did you know where to find these?”
“Like I said,” he drones. “Streets talk.”
You look at the bills before glancing back up. “Can I…?”
Yoongi cocks a brow before angling his mouth. “Touch them? Do what you want, doll.”
You blink at the name this time. Because him saying that with a fresh cig in his lips is making your stomach flutter.
Picking up a fresh stack, you inspect the ancient pattern inlay with eyes wide, admiring how paper so old can have such detailed engravings. “These can’t be real.”
“They are.” He shifts. “And most people never see one in their lifetime.”
You put the money back on the pile inside. Yes, these have got to be worth a fortune. But there’s nothing else in the bag? No drugs, no lethal substances, anything? “Wait, so. This is it?”
Yoongi fully laughs before flicking his lighter again. “You want something else?”
“No, I—” You back away. “There’s really nothing else in there?”
Coolly, he lights up before taking the initial drag. “Nah.”
Smoke spirals around you. “I dunno what I expected but it wasn’t that.”
Yoongi lets a wisp leave his mouth. You know it’s getting in your robe, but caring about the little things has now jumped out the window. “Whatever’s in that bag can feed half the city.”
“What?” As you look, he walks over to what looks like a small section of a bar. “Is that why you stole it?”
“Stole it?” Yoongi grins and shakes his head. “Sure. That’s why we stole it.”
“We? Leave me out of this.”
“Too late.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
You step forward in anger, but you only get a sound out before Yoongi straightens, aura blazing,
“I—”
“Say I do leave you out of it. Nothing happened tonight, according to me.” He discards his fresh light in an ashtray, watching it die before sliding his gaze your way. “Doesn’t mean whoever we just fought will suddenly leave you alone.”
Shit. He has a point. You ran for so long and fought plenty of those guys.
Is this what he meant? Getting used to that feeling? Maybe your consequence is joining the cycle of the damned, forced to kill in order to protect. Both others and now yourself.
“But I’m… Just a nobody. A civilian, I…”
Yoongi walks until he’s in front of you, hand cupping your chin and voice whispering mortifying allegations in your ear,
“You took a body for a Dragon, love. You’re not a civilian anymore.”
Your arms shove him backward without pause, face distraught as you watch his smirk bounce with his shoulders. His cackle echoes mad through the room, pinging the floors and piercing through your robe.
Truthfully, it doesn’t even feel like you’re wearing one. So naked and exposed in the open for this man to see. “You’re despicable.”
“That right?” His mouth sets as his lids lower. “And what about the one that killed and kept running?”
What.
“There was a police car at the restaurant,” Yoongi continues, a reminder so sharp it slices clean. “Yet you didn’t turn yourself in.”
Your feet sink into the rug beneath. “That’s not…”
With measured steps, he stalks forward, a harbinger of horrific realizations that you don’t want to hear, “You didn’t have to keep running. Didn’t have to get in that taxi.”
Stepping back, you find the room so stuffy it’s hard to move. “You—”
“Could’ve taken another train.”
“Stop.”
“Could’ve stayed in that elevator.”
What the fuck is happening right now?
Yoongi’s close. Very much too close, and the energy he radiates sets your instincts ablaze.
This is the man you’ve been pining over this whole time? If you ever get back home, you have got to remind yourself to avoid him at all costs. There’s nothing good for you if you stay. Danger surrounds every inch of him, and there’s no telling when you’ll take collateral damage.
“But you didn’t,” he delivers the final blow. “And you’re still here.”
Lifting your chin, Yoongi grins slow when you yank away.
“I should’ve never saved you.” Gaze finally locked, you growl from within, letting a monster loose,
“I should’ve left you for dead.”
Wait.
Stop.
This isn’t you. This isn’t who you are. You’re a helper. A healer. Those words came out so strange that you’re questioning how they left your mouth so freely.
Did you really mean that? Or was this some feeble attempt to hurt him?
Yoongi doesn’t seem phased. But you clearly don’t know him so it’s not like—
Something heavy and dark as fuck is placed in your hand, and you snap your eyes to his in utmost disbelief.
“Go ahead then.”
Oh, this man is psychotic.
“Be my guest.”
No fucking way you’re gonna do it. “Stop—”
“If you regret it, why waste time—”
“Seriously, I’m not gonna—”
Yoongi forces your fingers flush against metal as he holds the gun to his forehead, both eyes piercing right into yours with no hesitation whatsoever.
And it is frightening.
All anger from before flees as fear and intensity rush into its place. Your brain fizzles and cracks as you try to wrestle out of his grip, and you feel burning at the corners of your eyes. “Stop!”
“Why.”
“I’m not gonna shoot you, the fuck!”
“You sure?”
“Yes!”
Mercifully, he lets go, pistol thrown as you’re tugged forward with a—
“What’s stopping you,” he grounds out, formidable presence all-consuming. “Tell me.”
You’re breathing so hard it hurts. “You”—a shaky heave—“You are out of your fucking mind.”
When you struggle from his grip, Yoongi pulls you even closer. Reacting in a rush, you propel your knee up to wrap around his side and twist.
But he proves just as quick, gripping the bare skin of your leg as you shove him down against the sofa. Grunting, you both curve with the furniture, Yoongi locked onto your knitted, conflicted brows.
“You regret saving my life,” he simply repeats to your frustration. “I gave you the chance to fix that.”
“Shut up—”
“But your will is weak.”
“I swear to—”
“Guess I was wrong.”
Who the hell does he think he is? This guy—Yoongi, Agust, whoever the fuck—has no right to play with you so casually.
But something else is swirling inside your ribs. Because through his cutthroat words and actions, this man is somehow stirring the deepest waters of your soul. Ripples rumble and stretch into waves, tugging your toes in undercurrents of obsidian. Dark. Primal. Hazardous. All you.
Is it from being subjected to such a heavy dose of his power?
Or is it because—even if just for a moment—he’s handing all that power to you?
Quite literally, you’re the one on top.
And Yoongi holds your gaze, unfazed by the way your robe completely spread open during your tumble. Or the fact that you have nothing beneath that silk.
He could easily take over. From the feel of his build beneath your hands and between your legs, you know he can.
But he’s not. There’s no hesitation. He’s legitimately giving you the choice and reveals no ounce of remorse.
This revelation courses through your veins, pumping a new kind of life into your palms. You have a shot at a criminal with a bag of il-don waiting to be snatched. And you know you won’t take it.
And that alone alters the chemistry of your brain.
With more fear of yourself than anything else, you shake out, “If I’m killing you, it’s gonna be entirely my choice.”
He’s laughing? You’re instigating a threat and he’s enjoying it? God, you are teetering on the brink of madness and another emotion that won’t dare be acknowledged.
Tugging Yoongi up a notch, you proclaim to the glint of his eyes,
“And when I do, you’ll die exactly how I want.”
Yoongi’s lips slowly, dreadfully spread, teeth shining in the dim lamp lights that sharpen half his features. When he speaks, you shiver. Because it’s a mix of pride and fear, sprinkled with a hint of alarm,
“That’s my girl.”
The room quiets, your bodies locked in a way that you’ll remember years from now. Breaths. Your bare chest hovering inches above his. If there were bystanders, they would no doubt get the wrong idea. Because if things were different, and if this man underneath you wasn’t who he was, you’d entertain another type of ferality and not stop until morning.
To be fair. That same dark part of you would still do it.
But this is about the righteous part of who you are. The one that abides by the rules. The one that fights to keep days boring, uneventful, the same.
So you quell that monster pacing in your core.
One more exhale leaves your lips before you let him drop, sliding off his silken, tone form to quietly readjust your robe. Turning away, you focus on the night skies, wondering if the people back home are sound asleep as you should be.
“My will may seem weak. But I don’t care what you think of me.”
Sound is crisp again as Yoongi rises to his feet. Around you, the air starts to lighten, cold slipping delicately into your skin.
Slowly tying the wrap at your waist, your words float to the ground, “Because I know who I am. And no one can take that from me, not even you.”
His presence fills the space at your back. But it’s muted. Less intimidating. Or maybe you’re just at your limit because you admit a little more than you intend,
“This world has already tried enough.”
Both of you come to another standstill, two black robes staining a room full of white. Even time itself gives you space, slowing and circling until you’re ready for it to flow straight again.
As a cloud shadows the light of the moon, you feel knuckles caress your neck. And Yoongi’s never sounded so calm as he starts, “They’ll come after you.”
You slightly turn.
“You still want to go back?”
A pause. A nod.
His knuckles continue to glide along your neck, slipping down your back before traveling the swoop of your shoulder. Everything in your body thrums, silently quaking because you have no idea where this is coming from and you can’t say you hate it.
Quite the opposite. And that scares you more.
“If you do, you’re dead to me.”
Of course. You’ve seen and know too much. There’s no reason for him to show up to your street now, especially if tangerines are all he’s looking for. He can always find them anywhere else.
But, for some reason, this still stings. In a way that irks even your reasonable side. Is it because of his touch? No. That’s only making you nervous from the fact that you probably aren’t… as experienced as he is. The uneasiness is wholly from your own limitations.
“I’ll survive without you,” you whisper resolute, chest squeezing when he replies,
“I know.”
The same fingers get bolder, tracing down your arm before sliding along the wrap at your hip.
And you freeze.
Because the tension is palpable. The power is intoxicating. It’s a new type of anticipation and you are fighting yourself to not give in. Don’t let everything get to your head. Don’t let anyone in again. Don’t stray onto a path you can’t quite navigate.
But fuck, you kinda want to.
Rocks slide against exposed skin when he decides to speak again. And it makes you wish the two of you were extraordinarily normal. Or that you at least knew what the fuck to do here because the attraction you feel is not as one-sided as you presumed.
“What made you stay.”
A breath you didn’t know you were holding huffs out, and you swallow with difficulty. “I just…”
Get it together. Keep up your guard. It’s proving so hard, especially when his touches spark fires along your limbs. But you have to.
And therein comes another lie. “I wanted to know what you stole.” Gulping down the truth, you harden your resolve. “That’s it.”
With more restraint that you want, Yoongi bunches silk at your pelvis, hitching your robe and your breath all at once. When his other hand slowly holds your neck in place, you can’t help but flinch, and his low hum pours lava straight down your chest,
“What a shame.”
Oh. Is this how it ends? Did your gut get it all wrong?
He could end your life with a flick of his wrist. You know far too much. You’re not useful anymore.
“Someone will take you back tomorrow,” Yoongi murmurs, proving every single theory wrong. “After that, you’re on your own.”
And just like that, he releases you to stand alone.
Oh. You’re going home.
Good.
This is good, right?
Your heart beats overtime, almost drowning out your entire thought process. The thumps and pulses seem to cut every string of consciousness short.
What was that? What was any of that?
Never mind. Nothing happened and you can keep it that way, for the better. Yoongi is risk draped in beauty, and once you’re back home you can cut ties with anyone like him for good. You saved him; he spared you. It’s over.
…But do you want it to be?
Yes.
Of course you do.
Clouds let moonlight shine again.
When you arrive at an answer, you turn to find that Yoongi’s already gone, duffle and all shut inside his room with a muted click.
A flip switches as you let exhaustion take over completely, falling onto cushions that still hold his scent. Inhaling, you drift into darkness, wondering how your final decision will affect the rest of your days.
Whether awake or asleep, nightmares are real.
Only this time, you aren’t quite sure if the blood and guts you’re seeing are yours or someone else’s. Can’t discern the limb on the ground from the limb on your torso. Screams echo and ping from all directions, a cacophony of death that has you scratching at mania to stay sane.
Murderer. Murderer. A murderer that regrets who she saved. No, wait, that’s not true. You’d still do it again.
And you watch the same swing over and over. The same arc of finality. Those lifeless eyes. Closer. Closer. Sharper. Judging.
You were wrong. Were you wrong? Running does nothing and doesn’t provide an answer. The ground under your toes gives out.
How far are you straying? How low are you sinking? If you told your neighbors who you killed for, would they be upset or betrayed?
They’d hate you. Their fingers aim straight. Their tongues fire bullets.
They’ll hate you. Hate you. Hate you hate you hate you—
A room bursts into view as you jolt awake. Sounds snap silent, the hum of the air all you can hear as you rub your eyes.
So much for sleeping. There’s no way you’ll be able to now.
Focus on something else. Anything else. The past cannot be undone, so live with the choices you made and deal with the faces that haunt your dreams.
Staring into the dark, shapes and sharp edges slowly form, your vision sharpening with every passing second. Tiny pops and creaks tickle your eardrums, and Yoongi’s scent still lingers with your own.
You don’t want to focus on him, but it’s better than what forced you awake.
A lot happened tonight. But also, nothing at all. Something is keeping you both together, tightening and squeezing the strings in your chest. But you don’t know if that’s from the adrenaline of today’s events, or from the pure shock of your unexpected reunion.
There’s something else you haven’t considered until now. Despite his unorthodox and hellish methods, Yoongi did keep your head on straight. You showered. You ate. You drank. You inhaled fresh air.
Your compass righted itself when you didn’t blow his brains out.
The nothingness was all to your advantage. Was that all calculated, too?
One part of you—the bright side of you—knows that it doesn’t matter. No matter how helpful he was tonight, distance is crucial. Stay away from people like him. They’re all too cunning to be kept close.
But if leaping that crevasse allows you to keep your mind off everything else? If you need to stop the bleeding, why not reach for a cure?
Your exhale shakes as your shoulders fall forward, self-deprecation destroying your brain because what the fuck are you thinking? This is nonsense. Madness.
Maybe you’ve just been insane from the very start.
Your breath quickens at the possibilities. The potential outcomes of what you’re about to do.
This is the most solid decision you’ve made all night.
As your toes travel across plush, trek over marble, and arrive at their destination, the rest of your body quietly, nervously follows.
Raising your hand, you listen for movement. When you find none, you softly knock and wait for what seems like an eternity.
For nothing.
All that worry for naught. Yoongi’s most likely fast asleep and not dreaming at all.
Good. This is your sign to let it go completely. In the morning, you’re going back home. The nightmares will consume you and you’ll wake up everyday to brave the streets. Assassins will be on the hunt for revenge. You won’t be saved by the boy in teal.
What a shame, indeed.
As you step to leave, you hear the door slowly swing.
And Yoongi emerges from behind, minted hair mussed over lowered lids and robe slipping down a tatted shoulder.
Fuck everything.
“I don’t regret what I did and I’d do it all again,” you admit with finality. To him, to yourself, to the ones you’ll disappoint back home. “And I refuse to get used to this feeling because it reminds me I’m still a good person.”
Yoongi’s eyes don’t change as he stares.
“But,” you exhale with a shake. “Just for tonight…”
This is it.
The brink of no return.
Your soul dips into the dark.
“Please make me fucking forget.”
—
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⟶ what do we feel! | 🥢 join the taglist 🥢 | masterlist
a/n: once again, i cannot thank y'all enough for being patient and understanding as i go through life while working on this and all the other writing projects we have going on! it means the world, and even though there were some not-so-fun asks to get, the supporting and wonderful ones are what i will continue to focus on! so if you've ever left something sweet, thought provoking, encouraging, etc - thank you from the bottom of my heart! you're what keeps this writer going. a/n 2: if there's something you liked about this or a line/scene/whatever thing you enjoyed, feel free to let me know! feedback is never expected, but always appreciated. if the interest level is high, that adds motivation like no other. thank you all for reading! ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist ⇥ minted masterlist
#PART TWO IS HEREEE#bts fic#bts imagines#bts reactions#yoongi fic#yoongi x you#yoongi x reader#yoongi angst#yoongi fluff#yoongi smut#bts smut#bts fanfic#*latest#ryenwrites#minted#*ryenfictalk#tw: violence#tw: blood#tw: murder
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