#god imagine an audio drama series of them

[grinchwrapsupreme]

I'm not joking when I say I would watch endless seasons of a Good Omens sitcom or "monster-of-the-week" style show about Aziraphale and Crowley dealing with the Earthly havoc caused by their respective sides' tantrums or basically any Aziraphale And Crowley Are In A SItuation Of No Lasting Consequence type show

[synchodai]

HotD Episode 7 Live Reaction

But if you close your eyes, does it always feel like nothing's changed at all. But at least there be dragons.

I stiil don't like that Seasmoke fell in Addam's lap. Addam should have been the one to actively claim Seasmoke. I just really don't like HBO's insistence on "power is better wielded by those who don't want it."

"I may appear lowborn but I know much and more of service." Those two statements shouldn't have a "but" between them.

Maester Orwyle continues to be the surprise MVP of the greens.

The Master of Laws Iron Rod getting dialogue? The rumor mill works fast in Westeros.

I like that the nobility are putting so much resistance to lowborn claiming dragons. If there's anything that threatens highborn, it's social mobility.

For "20 years the lords of this realm levied insults against my sons," Jace confirmed to be 20. So he's just one year younger than Aegon? Now that wouldn't make sense because Rhaenyra wasn't even married during Aegon's first nameday during that hunt episode. Good to know Jace has been aged up though. He, Aegon, and Cregan are probably all in the same ballpark age.

I love Addam's acting, he's almost as expressive as TGC. But why are the interaction scenes on this show so short? "The family doesn't know how to communicate their feelings" yeah, yeah, but at least write down for them to have SOMETHING to say. Corlys came to this room literally just to say 6 words.

They should have given Oscar Tully red hair to make him stand out from the Riverlords. The scales on his armor are cool, but there should be more to visually signal that this kid is basically a petty king.

The camera following it's actors from the back is kinda...not doing it for me. I don't wanna see their hunched backs, I want to look at the sets and their faces.

"We honor the old ways." Most of y'all don't, though? Only certain houses in the Riverlands worship the Old Gods, one of them being the Blackwoods who are being accused of going against the "old ways." What do the HBO writers think the "old ways" mean?

Out of all decapitations on this series, this one had the least punch. Music and sound design did all the heavy lifting.

STOP SHOWING THEIR BACKS I DON'T WANNA SEE THE ACTORS' BACKS ANYMORE

Also, I can't imagine how this war will end if the Blackwoods aren't black loyalists. With Daemon executing their House head, I don't see them being that enthusiastic about supporting Rhaenyra anymore. Are they just gonna replace Benjicot with Oscar? And Aly is just...gone now? Who's gonna stop Cregan Stark then?

Again, we're just letting whoever inside the king's room even when he says they can't come in? Guards really suck on this show.

Alyn's voice is like honey. I could listen to this man read audio books.

And they just let the Targaryen princess run off like that? The guards on this show really suuuuuuuuck.

Poor Rickard Thorne dragged into Alicent's impromptu camping trip.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEY JACE, LOVE CLASSIST JACE. LOVE AEGON'S DREAM CRITICAL JACE. EEEEEY JACE AWARE THAT WHEN RHAENYRA DIES PEOPLE WON'T ACCEPT HIM. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. Finally some character drama and juicy interpersonal conflict that makes sense with characters clearly stating their stance through dialogue and we don't have to fill in the blanks as the audience. I was so starved. They actually made what was in the book better with this one.

I like Hugh the Hammer's new storyline, sue me. It's a cliche call-to-adventure fantasy peg, but I like it.

"I need more dragons to end bloodshed." Rhaenyra, what do you think dragons do? Rhaenyraaaaaaa

Beautiful Vermithor shot. And of course they leave all these innocent poor people to the mercy of a merciless behemoth. Ugh, beautiful, blood sacrifice, cruelty, impressive sfx, yessss.

CLAIM THAT DRAGON. CLAIM THAT DRAGON. DO IT NAMED CHARACTER, you have a name and backstory so you can do it!

"Come on!!!" Vermithor: Well...when you put it like that, I suppose.

Nana Silverwing! She looks gorgeous.

WAIT, WHY DID THEY TAKE HER TO KING'S LANDING??? WHY IS KL AND DRAGONSTONE LITERALLY 5 MINUTES AWAY

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 2nd June ✨

I feel like I haven’t had lots of listening time this week, but what I have heard has been amazing!  

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (154) ohh I am such an arachnophobe but I loveddd the return of LEM. Clem selling Danielle out sure is a CHOICE but tbh Danielle has such Ethel vibes this season that I assumed she was who Clem was going to visit when she was introduced. If anyone can stare down all 8 of Ethel’s eyes, it’s our girl Danielle. I want her to blow strawberry smoke in them from her new sexy cigarette holder. I had been wondering how the other boat could possibly house our nautical murderer but they can fly!! Duh! Imagine being stuck in a room with futuristic Vermin Supreme while there’s a vampire outside?? Bonkers. 

I’m SO desperate for the next episode to find out the results of Shank autopsy!! Shelby better get 60000 apologies from the other pigs in the room…… 

🧳 Travelling Light @monstrousproductions (23) system administrator??? what does that MEAN? I really thought they were going to kiss this episode 🤭 What a lovely story of conservation and love for nature!!! 

👁️ @malevolentcast (42) I am OBSESSED with Yorick’s jaw snap. What a fun sound effect. I honestly can’t be coping with these situations Arthur gets into. A rapier?? Internally?? Sir. Please. You do too much. 

🎙️WTNV (249) I know I say this all the time… but the weather really did slap this episode.

🖥️ The Magnus Protocol (18) This one was genuinely unsettling. I can’t believe the neutral response from the autopsy guy?? Literally ‘felt cute, might delete later’?? I would be taking myself straight to A+E to wait 23 hours for a mental health review??? 

🍎 @notquitedeadpod (XXXX) AAAAAAAH. SUCH a good episode and SUCH a good ending to the season!! Ohh the acting was SO good. It hurt me to hear Neige like that. Alfie’s rage and panic and despair were so palpable. The scenes at the facility were perfectly gory. I guess the benefit of having a 10000 year old vampire boyfriend is that he’s survived without cars and electricity before and, by God, he’ll do it again. I am wishing Eira nothing but impeccable and easy planning and writing for the next season! I can’t wait!!! 

👻 @tellnotalespod (S2E11) eek! I feel very weird writing about something I’m in but just want to share how excited I am to be a part of one of my favourite shows 🩷 a huge thanks to Leanne for having me!!!! 

Today is the last day to support @monkeymanproductions' crowdfunder for their next show Waiting For October! They're so close to their goal!!

[chaos0pikachu]

tldr: bitches want gay shit, not het shit, with data and numbers to back it up; bonus Bible’s booty

so thinking about @discluded​‘s essay on Mile and Apo’s upcoming historical drama, and Thailand’s bid for soft power got my brain thinking thoughts. I’ve talked about Thailand noticing the soft power of their BL media before along with why I think Chinese, South Korean, and other East Asian media (from television to novels, etc) are popping off in popularity in the last 5 years or so. Idk where those posts are and I’m to lazy to link them thus is life

The point! The point is tho reading discluded’s post made me think about F4 Thailand. Ironic, I know, since F4 is a het drama based off Boys Over Flowers a shojo manga from Japan that was released in 1992 and ended serialization in 2008. 

Firstly, Boys Over Flowers FACINATES me b/c the god damn chokehold this series has on various Asian countries. I told a friend it’s comparable to like, Romeo and Juliet, in that it’s been adapted, remade, re-adapted, re-booted, re-imagined, and so on over and over and over again. Like there’s audio dramas, there’s films, there’s multiple live action TV shows, there’s an anime. Japan’s made two feature films, and two seasons of a TV. Taiwan had two seasons of a TV show, Korea had a tv show, China had two versions of the same show (one was a remake), Indonesia had two tv shows, India had a tv show, and finally Thailand was the latest to adapt it into a TV show in 2021 - 2022. The legacy of this story can’t be denied. 

Now, my point? Okay so my point is I witnessed online the marketing for F4 Thailand in real time. It was interesting to me b/c I very rarely - and have not since - seen a ton of talk about a Thai drama that wasn’t BL or a horror or action film. 

When it comes to the Thai film industry, the three genres I see discussed are: BL, Action, Horror. You can see this in what Netflix (America) offers in regards to Thai series specifically what ones they dub which shows like: Girl From Nowhere (which Netflix invested in a s2 and is a thriller/horror drama), The Whole Truth (a horror film), and Thai Cave Rescue (which they also have a documentary based on). Netflix is still (STUPIDLY) reluctant to purchase a license for any SK or Thai BL content (I know Semantic Error would blow the FUCK up on Netflix you idiots!!!) probably b/c investors are like, hmmmm but would gays of color sell? I would say they also have Your Name Engraved Herein but that’s an easier sell b/c its a drama and has more of that classic gay Oscars vibe (this isn’t an inherent bad thing don’t come for me). 

Okay back to my point I s2g I have one. 

So marketing for F4 Thailand was interesting b/c I actually saw it. I don’t see marketing cross over into my international waters for Thai het dramas. What helped this, and I fully believe this was done purposely, is the casting of Bright and Win who gained international popularity from 2Gether. Like, it seemed pretty obvious to me that casting Bright and Win was a bid to peak the interest of the international market, combined with casting them specifically in an adaption of one of the most famous and well known Asian romantic dramas of the last 30 years or so. This show was set-up to be A Hit. 

But I don’t think it really worked internationally; bare with me, numbers time. 

Now, ratings for F4 averaged at .441% on Thai TV, higher than Bad Buddy (which aired on the same network) which averaged at .121% and Kinnporsche which averaged at .314%. 

I compared F4 to these two shows specifically b/c they aired in a similar timeframe (all three shows aired over the course of 2021 - 2022 except KP which only aired in 2022) and arguably Bad Buddy and Kinnporsche were the biggest BL shows in Thailand in those respective years. 

F4 also did well in the Philippines, and ended up dubbed into Filipino, and it’s scheduled for re-broadcast in 2023. Honestly, it’s difficult to see how well F4 did internationally as there’s not a ton of information available on it. When I google “F4 Thailand reception” there’s not a lot of results, if I google “boys over flowers Thailand reception” I get this: 

ngl I think it’s pretty funny that one of the top four most asked questions is if F4 is BL and again, it’s def b/c of Bright and Win’s casting. But given that there’s not a ton of information available, I glean that F4 didn’t do great in the western (American/Latin American/European) market. Not to say it didn’t do well. 

On Google ratings: F4 Thailand lands at a 4.9 rating with 2619 reviews/ratings and Bad Buddy stands at a 5.0 with 1085 reviews/ratings

On MyDramaList F4 has a rating of 8.5/10 from 11,982 users, and Bad Buddy has a 8.5/10 from 26,445 users

On IMDb: F4 has a rating of 7.8/10 from 2.3k users, and Bad Buddy has 8.8/10 rating from 5k users

This isn’t a comparison about quality, but activity. I’m not here to make judgements on either shows quality, but rather international impact and relevancy. Outside of Google, Bad Buddy has more active users who left a rating or review on the website than F4, almost double in fact. 

If you go to GMMTV’s official Youtube page and look at the most popular videos on the channel it’s majority....2Gether. Like my god so much 2Gether the CHOKEHOLD this show had on y’all:

More date and a comparison of F4 and Bad Buddy’s international numbers below, we’re getting into the meat now. 

Now the actual F4 official trailer has 3.7 million views on GMMTV’s channel. Bad Buddy official trailer, also on GMMTV’s official channel, has 2.7 million views. Both are set at 1 year ago so they’re within the same or similar time frames for comparison. 

To throw in there, the Kinnporsche official trailer was released 10 months ago and has clocked 7.1 million views total on Be On Cloud’s official channel. To keep up with the comparison, F4′s OST Who Am I clocked 21 million views at 1 year, while KP/Jeff Satur’s OST Why Don’t You Stay has clocked 36 million views at 8 months. 

(completely unrelated sidenote but Vegas/Bible’s ass has 3.4 million views and I just find that fucking hilarious, the man’s booty got more youtube views than other studios episodes. The power of Bible booty) 

You can watch episode 1 of F4 on GMMTV’s official youtube channel, but only episode 1 the rest are just previews for other episodes. Idk why, other series whether het or BL they have all the episodes available. There’s apparently 80 videos that are hidden, I’m wondering if you have to pay Youtube premium to access those. Since I only have episode 1 to compare, for comparisons sake, we can look at those numbers of F4′s ep01 and Bad Buddy’s, both of which are clocked at 1 year each, are as follows:

Bad Buddy ep01 [1/4]: 9.6 million

Bad Buddy ep01 [2/4]: 5.4 million 

Bad Buddy ep01 [3/4]: 4.9 million

Bad Buddy ep01 [4/4]: 5 million

F4 Thailand Begins ep01 [1/4]: 1.7 million

F4 Thailand Begins ep01 [2/4]: 848k 

F4 Thailand Begins ep01 [3/4]: 3.3 million 

F4 Thailand Begins ep01 [4/4]: 747k 

If you crunch these numbers, Bad Buddy’s total view count for episode 1 is around 25 million views. F4′s total view count is around 7 million views (if I’m doing my math correctly a bitch doesn’t work in maths). 

Now, I don’t know what the premiere numbers for either of these series was. BUT, this shows that one series, Bad Buddy, has legs and the other, F4, didn’t. 

Either way that’s a pretty sizable gap and a lot of international fans use Youtube as a means to legally watch and support these shows as shown in the availability of subtitles.

F4 has subtitle options in: English, Korean, Chinese (Taiwan), Portuguese, Turkish and Spanish

Bad Buddy has subtitle options in: English, Turkish, French, Indonesian, Spanish, Chinese (Hong Kong), Korean, Chinese (Taiwan), Vietnamese, Arabic, Portuguese, Polish, Italian, Burmese, Chinese (Simplified) and Bulgarian.

Bro, BULGARIAN.

As far as I can tell, IQIYI doesn’t release streaming data that I could find, so idk what the numbers are for Kinnporsche. I do know that Kinnporsche, since airing, has never let the sites Top 10 list which is an impressive feat after ending months ago. 

So like, what does all this information mean~ exactly? Am I saying F4 Thailand was a flop? No, not even a little bit lol I don’t have enough data to really say definitively F4 was a flop nor is that really the point here. 

The point here is about international impact, and the fact that in my humble ass opinion, Thailand’s het shows ain’t hitting internationally all THAT much. Not as much as their BL shows are and have been. 

Objectively, going by Thai ratings, F4 did a lot better than Bad Buddy, but internationally? Internationally there’s a pretty visible gap from everything I’ve seen. 

I think what GMMTV was hoping was by casting Bright and Win they’re pull in that international audience they had cultivated with the 2gether series. But het dramas are high key a dime a dozen in American/European/Latin American audiences. Folks go to Kdramas or Cdramas for het dramas (and I have theories on why those hit, namely Cdramas for the high fantasy aspects that Europe and America doesn’t deliver on and kdramas for being unashamedly high quality produced romances. Also the one-and-done factor). 

Given the juggernaut success of Kinnporsche, not just in the west but also in other Asian countries I imagine that’ll influence other studios to try to follow suit even more to gain even a half-slice of that visibility and profitability. Kinnporsche, imo, is an outlier, it’s success is sorta like 2gether and TharnType in that there were a lot of factors outside of the show itself that led to it’s individual success. 

Like, flat, argue with the wall, 2gether is NOT a good series. But, it was released right when lockdown began (literally, ep01 aired Feb 21, 2020), in a way 2gether was like Animal Crossing, GMMTV didn’t expect it to do THAT well especially internationally but it did partially b/c what the fuck else we people gonna do in lockdown? Watch a simple but cute gay romcom which there was a gap for - Love, Victor wouldn’t air it’s first episode until June 17th, 2020, and that was marketed less as a queer romcom and more as a queer coming of age story. There’s also the factor of The Untamed having ended - final episode August 20th, 2019 - and folks catching on to the growing and active existence of international queer media that wasn’t boxed in and tied down by American conventions. 

I think what we’re going to see is the “next era” of BL. We saw the uptick in overall content post 2019/2020 with the success of 2Gether and TharnType, following the success of series like Why R U, Love By Chance, 1000 Stars, Lovely Writer, etc along with other countries getting in more on the game (namely South Korea) and the overall uptick in the amount of BL (and now GL!) shows across the board. 

After 2gether we saw more BL shows, I think after Kinnporsche we’re going to see higher quality BL/GL shows. And I think we’re already seeing that. Semantic Error was a nice change of pace for SK b/c it was longer than 15mins, I think going forward given the success of SE we’re going to see SK branch out slowly into developing longer shows (no longer than 30 to 35mins tho to keep costs down) and better workshopping (some kisses in KBLs...my guys). While for Thailand I think we’re gonna see better quality shows. Not Me dropped the ball in some regards but visually the show was great. Cutie Pie’s story was incoherent sure but visually? Hot damn that was a good looking show. We’re also getting more interesting concepts out of Thailand too; like that Prince/bodyguard show coming out, the fact Kinnporsche did eventually get made and MileApo’s upcoming historical film. 

this all got away from me but whatever, bitches want gay shit, peace

[jttwaudiodrama]

Zhuang's JttW Doodles #3

(The True Lord) laughed and said, “This must be that macaque! He is trying to fool me again. I’ve seen temples before, but none of them would stick their flag pole at the back! This must be that beast in disguise! If he fooled me into entering, he would take hold of me with a bite. How could I go in then? Maybe I should pull a few punches to break the windows first, and then kick the doors open!” The Great Sage heard it and thought in horror, “How cruel! How very cruel! The doors are my teeth and windows my eyes. If he really hit my teeth and gouged my eyes, what should I even do?”

Journey to the West, Chapter 6

This poem appears in Chapter 6, Part 2 of the audio drama.

Also featured on our Patreon page.

===

Hi, this is Zhuang. I made all the art for this series.

Here are some doodles I made almost 10 years ago when I could kind of draw but not really. Not sure if I'm entirely out of that state now but hopefully I have improved.

Each one corresponds to a specific passage in the original text, as written on the doodle itself in traditional Chinese. And I will also put the English translation from the audio drama down below for your reference. Not every chapter has a doodle, so I will post the ones we've already covered in the drama, and the rest as we eventually get there.

===

Why I chose this scene:

Er Lang Shen will forever be special in Wu Kong's heart for being the first opponent he truly feared(and respected, as we will later learn). In the JttW universe, Er Lang Shen also stands out in his very own way, which probably resonated with Wu Kong's situation too.

Er Lang Shen's mother was an immortal goddess, and his father was a mortal man. In a sense, he was born a crime, and was the center of conflict between gods and humans in a deeply personal way. This would explain why despite his immense powers (something that could allow him to take very high office in Heaven), he preferred to keep his own military force and be, quite literally, a down-to-earth sort of god.

He finds kinship in the human world, in the low ranking gods who'd never get to meet His Majesty up high, staying as far away from his emperor uncle as possible. Mundane prayers from the common people probably brings him more joy than the formality and bureaucracy in the Heavenly Palace. And ironically, at the end of the day, it was up to him, someone who quite obviously despised the way of life up high, to save heaven from destruction. Heaven could pretend he wasn't one of them, but only until the day when they desperately needed his powers.

His pride had a good day that day.

This could also explain why he and Wu Kong had no hard feelings against each other. Er Lang Shen is about as cool and gracious a person as you can imagine. He will only appear once more in future chapters, and you'd love to see how Wu Kong deals with this reunion.

[audiofictionuk]

New Fiction Podcasts - 20th October

Fantasy Frameworks's Podcast New Audio RPG! Completely nonsensical tabletop fantasy RPG gameplay, and the sickest beats heard by human ears! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231013-04 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2261662.rss

The Lion's Den New Audio Drama! Based on actual events. A drug smuggler finds God, and turns against the cartel, working as an undercover operative to take them down from the inside. Based on Dr. Hal Bradley's book, "A Fox In The Lion's Den" - you can find all of Dr. Hal Bradley's books at http://drhalbradley.com https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231003-09 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/thelionsden

Adventure Joek’s ”Did You Know?” New Audio Drama! Follow action news reporter Adventure Joek , and his protege, Jinpang Thwatercomb, as they travel across intergalactic borders in search for worthy news stories to report on behalf of the Farflarfennoodle Galaxy Tourism Co. Every month, Joek and Jinpang will bring followers of the FGTC a tale from within the 5G-Em (The 5 Galaxy Empire) and its many marvels. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231014-01 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/farflarfennoodle/feed.xml

Phandelver and Below: The Shattered Obelisk - DnD Actual Play New Audio RPG! Quests and Chaos is proud to present the full playthrough of Phandelver and Below the Shattered Obelisk. This show features a fantastic cast of new and familiar faces. Dungeon Master Tiana Ren Hanson leads our group of adventurers all 12 levels of this campaign. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231013-05 RSS: https://feeds.captivate.fm/phandelver/

Radio Other New Audio Drama! In a new story-rich audio drama blending horror, weird fiction and comedy, comes Radio Other. Vikki Other, longtime podcaster, presents their show from their timeline to yours. On the other side of the timeline, in a place called the Otherworld, conspiracy is reality, and reality is conspiracy. But when cracks between the two timelines begin to show, Vikki finds themselves thrust into a rabbit hole far deeper than they ever could imagine. But even as the mystery grows too close for comfort, Vikki is not ready to give up. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20230226-03 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/db6e121c/podcast/rss

GRIM: A Haunted Mansion Fable New Audio Drama! Inspired by the many myths and legends surrounding Disney's classic Haunted Mansion attraction, GRIM follows Jason Holloway, a historian obsessed and perhaps even haunted by the stories of the old Gracey estate in New Orleans. His search for answers takes us on a journey through history as we see the tale of the Gracey family unfold throughout several ill-fated generations. It is a tale of lovers, pirates, tycoons, mystics, and murderers, all part of a puzzle that leads to a truth laying in wait, hiding just below the surface. But be warned, friends. The truth can be quite GRIM. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20230329-04 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/dade5988/podcast/rss

Dusty Attic Shorts New Audio Drama! Inspired by classic horror anthologies like Tales from the Crypt and The Twilight Zone, Dusty Attic combines horror and suspense with gallows humor and a wry new approach to our old fears. Each bite-sized scare sets out to make you chuckle, shiver or glance furtively over your shoulder. Maybe all three. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20230711-10 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/e5a67058/podcast/rss

Tales From the Janitor New Audio Drama! Tales from the Janitor - An urban legend series where the listener is taken through ghost stories, science fiction adventures and creepy unexplained events in history. A series of short stories covering elements of crime, horror, drama and comedy. A series about people of different backgrounds committing murders, suicides, rituals, and other events caused by the unknown and where ordinary people find themselves in extraordinarily situations. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231017-01 RSS: https://media.rss.com/tales-from-the-janitor/feed.xml

Small Town D&D New Audio RPG! Small Town D&D is a Dungeons and Dragons podcast if, instead of slaying dragons and saving the world, the heroes decided to stay home and deal with small town problems like election fraud and overdevelopment. Listen in as the quiet town of Chester’s Chair is radically reshaped by the (foolish) actions of the players. The smaller the stakes, the bigger the consequences! Arcs are short and plots move quickly in this game where actually almost nothing happens. We really think you can jump in at any episode. Featuring 20+ years of combined improv comedy and D&D experience in cast members Chelsea Lee, David Dillon, Dewey Cassady, and Dungeon Master Alex Wolfson. New episodes every Tuesday. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231017-02 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/small-town-dd

Dickey Newton New Audio Drama! 12-year-old Dickey Newton is not your average nerd; he’s also a paranormal detective, superhero, wizard, vampire-hunter, and much, much more. Join Dickey on his marshmallow fluff-fueled adventures in 1980s Jupiter Springs, California and beyond. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231017-03 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/dickeynewton/feed.xml

Mortuus Est: Origins New Audio Drama! Thirty years before the events of Mortuus Est: Legacy, Nico and Lawrence, alongside Hera Marroquin Silva, are working as part of Operation: Zeus, a covert paramilitary unit led by the Tactical Defense Department (TDD). Everything changes when a mission goes awry. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231016-01 RSS: https://media.rss.com/mortuusestorigins/feed.xml

League of Wonder New Audio Book! The greatest heroes of the fiction have assembled to save the world. Only this time… they’re animals. In the late days of the Victorian era, Kip, an adorable Yorkshire terrier, is thrust into adventure when his girl, Dorothy Gale, and a magical slipper go missing. Desperate to find her, Kip teams up a rag-tag group of animal heroes that include the suave White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, the brilliant and eccentric Toad from Wind and the Willows, the persnickety Cricket from Pinocchio and the Darling’s protective St. Bernard, Lulu, from Peter Pan. Together, they will uncover a plot that threatens London and the mysterious figure who is scheming to wreak vengeance on all of mankind. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20230918-04 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/leagueofwonder

Blerd Mind Production New Audio Drama! People die and there is nothing that you can do about it. Or is there? Naomi and Nyah are two Necromancers who are in a very taboo business, waking the dead. Some people get to say goodbye to loved ones. The Wake sisters just want to see that they can make people get these last wishes accomplished. Spirit Hunters known as Purists have a different outlook on these things. The dead should stay dead and they will do whatever it takes to put an end to the Wake sisters' business. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231017-04 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/ea600dac/podcast/rss

The Dispossessed New Audio Drama! Evil lived at 18 Hope Street. Then the bulldozers came. Where was evil to go? Laney Kasten, 16, along with her younger brother and mother, are forced to move out of their rented house as the neighborhood they once called home is rapidly gentrifying and they are being priced out. Now, until they can find a new safe place to call home, she has to live in their car on Hope Street near the town park where all the unhoused have taken up residence. But Laney is not the only one who has recently been made homeless…. a house on Hope Street which was inhabited by a malevolent entity was torn down to make room for a new mansion. But destroying the house doesn’t destroy the spirit… and it is now taking its wrath out on the unhoused residents of Hope Street. A Haunted House story without the house. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20231016-02 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/thedispossessed

[septembersghost]

Jess, hey, darling. I'm sorry I still haven't replied to your message (please forgive me), just something quick I wanted to say. I wish I could give you a hug and I'm sorry for the struggles you're going through. I hardly know anything and staying away from all the drama but I KNOW how important it is to have your safe, comfort place, and when it gets taken away it can feel crushing and very painful. I think I understand why you're missing Dean. There was a time in my life when I THOUGHT I'd recovered, but then some painful, or confusing/disorienting, or otherwise overwhelming situation hit and I'd start missing him like crazy, because I needed comfort and rest and I tried to reconnect. We need our safe place and our comfort characters when we are in pain, when we are tired, when the world isn't making sense anymore. It's not something I talked about, but recently I had a series of anxiety attacks and crying fits at night, and on Friday night during one of those I also accidentally flipped over a cup of scalding water over my hand. What helped me with the pain and helped me fall asleep was… listening to my comfort character's voice. Didn't even matter what he was saying, it was just simply hearing his voice and imagining he's there (thank god it's a podcast and he can talk for hours.) I'm doing a lot better now, but I remembered how I used to do the same thing with Dean. There was once a whole audio file I made which was literally just him talking, it lasted like an hour and a half and consisted of hundreds tiny moments which I collected throughout the show. Sadly, it's gone now, but there was a time it used to help. What I want to say, things like this ARE important and your connection to your faves IS important and valuable, it's totally okay to miss them, it's okay to love them and to need them, it's okay to wish they were here right now. I understand your pain, I wish I knew how to help. But no matter what, he'd always be there for you, because that's what comfort characters do: they're here for us. Always, as long as we need them. And nothing can take that away. And no matter what, I hope you can find solace and comfort and a bit of peace. I'm giving you a hug but I'm ALSO encouraging you to imagine that Dean is giving you a hug, because he absolutely would and because he'll always be there for you.

hi Ellie my dearheart!!! 💕 please don't apologize, considering i still have the message from you, on one of my favorite topics!, that i intended to answer within a week and now TWO MONTHS have passed! the amount of times i've gone to reply to it properly and instead *waves hand around* there are constant happenings and situations. 😭 i NEED to get to it because it will make me happy to focus on tbh!

there's a bemusing irony to the fact that i proclaimed i was doing #better in regards to dean and other various sadnesses, and then the moment an entirely different pillar got kicked out from under me, the hurt came rushing back in. i've been playing a bit of a (useless, i know) blame game with myself, like, this is somehow my fault for being overly invested or caring as deeply as i do or relying on art for my escape and joy, but it's difficult because it's the primary thing i have. and dean is the constant, the longest lasting source of comfort of all of them, so at any point when anything else has been painful or confusing, the needle of my heart's compass spins back to him. except i'd intentionally been trying to rely on that less due to the existing wound of it, which means over the past week, there's been this weight of the absence, which lead to that feeling of missing him terribly.

I KNOW how important it is to have your safe, comfort place, and when it gets taken away it can feel crushing and very painful. I think I understand why you're missing Dean. There was a time in my life when I THOUGHT I'd recovered, but then some painful, or confusing/disorienting, or otherwise overwhelming situation hit and I'd start missing him like crazy, because I needed comfort and rest and I tried to reconnect. We need our safe place and our comfort characters when we are in pain, when we are tired, when the world isn't making sense anymore. this is it exactly, and i can't express my gratitude for your kindness and for the sense of understanding you share in this. those safe spaces and comforts and lights through the darkness ARE profoundly valuable and we carry them with us, and it hurts when any of that feels stolen or diminished. it makes you just want the soul of it back.

*hugs you tight* i am so sorry you've been struggling with anxiety and tears (i understand, i have NOT been able to stop crying at the most unexpected moments lately. i wept over my dog this past weekend and she's been gone for years. it's like every ache i have is a raw nerve at the surface. anxiety makes you feel more fragile too). the scalding water omg honey :((( i'm glad you're okay! and i'm happy your comfort character was there for you and helped carry you through it. you deserve to feel safe and held, and that very much exists within the characters we love and the stories we call home and the art/music that resonates within us.

What I want to say, things like this ARE important and your connection to your faves IS important and valuable, it's totally okay to miss them, it's okay to love them and to need them, it's okay to wish they were here right now. thank you very much for this reminder and for understanding this, i really do believe this is true. our faves impact us and are important and loved for a reason. just sending me this helps, truly.

I'm giving you a hug but I'm ALSO encouraging you to imagine that Dean is giving you a hug, because he absolutely would and because he'll always be there for you. 🥺 this message is beautiful and now i'm crying at it, but only for warm reasons! he's always shown up in some way to remind me of this (and still did in a way this morning!), so i KNOW he's right here and remains with me no matter what and that the span of that time and amount of that love is always real and always alive and exists right in my heart, and if it didn't, i wouldn't also experience that pain of missing him along with it. the ache itself is a sign of how strongly that love remains. thank you for the hugs and for listening and for being here for me, and for reminding me he's here at every moment too. you are such a wonder and i love you. 💖💖💖

[soul-dwelling]

Do you think Medusa was one of the most powerful of the witches or did her "succes" stem from the willingness to be so proactive, no matter the cost?

I’m not satisfied that any material from the comics or the anime give a good answer. 

Let’s try to group together all the magic into some broader categories (thanks to the Soul Eater Wiki for a lot of this): 

Math (calculations, spatial, vectors)

Destruction (and its polar opposite, healing)

Elements (ice, fire, thunder)

Transformation

Summoning 

Mind and Emotional Control

The most powerful magic that I can remember from the series tends to be the mathematical magic, the stuff used to seal the DWMA, to teleport characters from the Moon, and to help Kilik aim Azusa at the Moon. (I’m oversimplifying the terms: I know the spatial magic is distinct enough from the math magic, but it is about predicting space, math is about looking at spaces, so that’s what I’m calling it.) Medusa, Free, and Eruka are all able to use it. And what are Medusa’s vectors if not spatial magic? Seeing as Free’s math magic seems to owe to Mabaa’s eye, I imagine Mabaa too is good at it, as she did  help get everyone off the Moon. We’re shown Kim and the Chupa Cabra witches also use it to get people into the Book of Eibon. 

But it’s kind of weird how that is one of the few really big forms of magic in the canon. The others are either summoning items and familiars (Noah pulling stuff out of the Book, Eruka summoning tadpoles, Kaguya changing clothes), all of which is similar enough to transformation magic in terms of making one thing disappear and another thing pop up (witches’ animal forms, weapon transformations). 

Or, along the poles of destruction (most witches but pretty much any offensive attack magic) and regeneration and healing (Kim).  

Then we have magic that can affect the mind and emotions. We have users such as Arachne, Medusa, and the Great Old One weaponizing Madness itself. And Shaula’s mind control venom. And the one audio drama had the love potion. 

There are few elemental magics, like Free’s ice magic, maybe Fire and Thunder’s abilities. (Holdovers from the Fire Force world?)

So, out of all of these, the math magic is the one that seems the most powerful and the most often used: it gets you around the world, it gets you to the Moon, it gets you to the Witch Realm, you can trap people, you can dodge opponents. 

But math magic is also the most popular--and almost every witch we meet uses it in some way, so it’s ironically also not that powerful despite what I just said about it seeming to be the most powerful. If everyone is using it, then that means it takes one person--Medusa--to step in and figure out ways to work around it. Sure, she uses her vector magic, so perhaps she has weaponized that magic in ways other witches haven’t. (Imagine Medusa opening a portal through someone to kill them.) 

And as you seem to suggest, if Medusa is that driven, that proactive, then I have to imagine that she is probably the most powerful of witches short of Mabaa. 

We have not seen the full extent of Mabaa’s powers, so this isn’t a fair question, and it’s not fair for me to position Medusa at a higher level than Mabaa. Maybe Mabaa has other magic abilities--maybe the magic Free has comes from her, so we have to give her the ice magic, which also means she may also be able to do other elemental magic. This is conjecture, though. 

But think about this: Lord Death is the god of this world; Mabaa is the only other person we have been told can compete with him; Medusa probably would say Mabaa has more magics than she herself does, and that Mabaa is more powerful at even math magic, given how she has tended to the Witch Realm. 

And yet, despite how powerful Mabaa is, and how Lord Death is probably as powerful as her, Medusa was the one who beat Death, locked him up, got Asura out, and finalized making Crona into a world-destruction force. That is not all magic, granted--it is also just brutality, violence, and trickery. In that regard, while I think Medusa has weaponized spatial magic in a way Mabaa hasn’t, as shown by her vector magic, I do think Medusa being so proactive and willing to get herself killed to make Crona into an instrument for destruction shows she was one of the most powerful witches. 

(And she did manage to take over her own sister’s body and repeatedly cheat Death himself.)

[righteoushollywood]

#TheRighteousFamilyOfALMIGHTYGODYHWHapps(apostrophepunctuation+s #doombyya @blockbouta#doombyyourself @doombyyourself #darealpimpc #olsklchevy @olsklchevy EXODUS2013 " thou shall not kill " God . . . supplies endurance.​—Rom. 15:5.Life in this world controlled by Satan can be hard to deal with, even overwhelming at times. (2 Tim. 3:1) But we do not need to be anxious or afraid. Jehovah knows what we are going through. When we fall, he promises to hold on to us with his strong right hand. (Isa. 41:10, 13) With full confidence in his support, we can gain strength from the Scriptures and overcome any challenge. Our videos and audio dramas and the series “Imitate Their Faith” help bring Bible events to life. Before you watch, listen to, or read these accounts, ask Jehovah to help you find specific points that you can apply. Imagine yourself in the place of the main character. Meditate on what these dear servants of Jehovah did and how he helped them to overcome difficulties. Then apply the lessons to your own situation. Thank Jehovah for the help he is already giving you. And show that you appreciate the help by looking for opportunities to encourage and support others. w21.03 19 ¶22-23 hey everyone please in YOUR time of leisure, PLEASE try to set a reminder to refer to ( ecclesiastesCHAPTER3 ) ( There is an appointed time for all things ... a time to kill and a time to heal ) AS WELL as ( mathewCHAPTER28) ( when the disciples, heard back from Yashua [Jesus] with the instructions to keep the vital function that #AlmightyGod made him King of ( (as he completed the deliverance of the message after descension to earth, birth into the flesh;( *human image) after the cleansing from YHWH in the day of Noah his family and the building of the Ark to provide shelter from the flood through means provided by THE, OUR, ultimate provisionary OF the function of righteousness, #ALMIGHTYGODYHWH;ONEJEHOVAHourGOD,YeHovah,JahWeh;Jah #40daysAnd40Nights preceding #TheFlood which followed the days of Adam, Eve, Cain, and Abel, [Faith] and the War in Heaven, revelationsCHAPTERtwelve ( #hebrewsChaptereleven ) .... ) ) as he notified the disciples at the mountain in Galilee. #✔️🗝 https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm0NQbtOwhM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[welcometogrouchland]

The tma TV adaptation essay(?) I promised:

GOD Trying to organize my thoughts on a tma adaptation has been crazy because like.

It could genuinely be so good to look at!!! You could do so much with the costuming of characters, the SFX (sit here with me and imagine practical effects Jarod hopworth and Jane Prentiss. Doesn't that make you go crazy insane??? Doesn't it???), the idea of using pixilation or stop motion and compositing to make Nikola, putting intentional continuity errors in scenes with the distortion, never using closeups in scenes about the lonely so you feel distant, never getting wider than a midshot in scenes about the buried so you feel claustrophobic, using rotoscoping and weird filming techniques and on and on- this is stuff that could not only look cool but could actively elevate the written text through visuals... y'know. LIKE A GOOD VISUAL ADAPTATION IS MEANT TO DO!!!

But as good as it could look, like with a lot of people, it begins to all fall apart at story and structure for me. Because how would they deal with the shows nature as an anthology?? Would it lean into it, or remove it?

Give it hour long episodes (as opposed to 20 ish minutes) that can fit multiple, more plot relevant statements in, with scenes of the characters interacting used to break up the statements and weave the meta narrative in more from the start? Well that's certainly an option and the main one I've been pondering. Giving two statements per episode cuts the 20 episode runtime down almost by half which would fit neater into an average series of television these days. (you could probably finagle the multipart finales into single episodes but idk if that'd be the wisest idea structure and pacing wise) but that format could still be A) unfamiliar to long time podcast listeners who want the show to be formatted like the podcast and B) hard to market to casual audiences?? it takes the podcasts method of gradually blurring the lines between statement and meta plot over the course of the show and instead starts off with them already muddy. That doesn't even solve the problem of how you'd go about filming statements, let alone what the hell you'd do when it came time for season 5.

But you can't remove the statements, they're important to the plot. If you do, you change the show so drastically that you're going to chase away original fans of the podcast, who'd likely male up the first core wave of fans who support your show before it takes off (at least. That's what I'm guessing???) So, back to square one, re: tma is formatted in a way that is built around it's own strengths and limitations as an independent podcast, which would clash badly with current models of TV production.

And in all honesty? TV doesn't usually get the luxury (or budget) for experimentation to the same capacity film (or hell, an independently produced passion project audio drama) does. Any of the more experimental ideas I mentioned would probably be left on the cutting room. It sucks but it's my best guess as to what'd happen (grain of salt: I don't work in film and TV and my knowledge is second hand! All I know is that coming to studios with an idea that's a) hard to film and b) doesn't have big names that guarantee a return on the money put into the series is. Generally considered unwise)

Sigh. It's like. I've tried to make this post at least 3 times now, and every time I struggle to accurately convey how much I think tma could flourish in a visual adaptation!!! and so how much I think the best things about it would hinder it in a TV setting. I get why people want it! tma is (as admitted by Jonny), a first draft, and a really good first draft afterwards. We want to bring our favourite podcast to it's full potential, and I think it has so much potential visually...but I've already made all my points for why I'm not sure I'd want it to be adapted to a visual medium, on a purely technical level. It sucks to be pessimistic about it, because I do love TV as a medium, but fundamentally I think they'd have a very hard time pleasing both new and old fans trying to tell the same story as what we got in the podcast.

So what should they do instead?? I'm not sure, but if you told me to make a tma TV adaptation, gun to my head, this is what I'd do:

Have the show take place Somewhere Else

Not as in, have the show be about Jon and Martin post series. I mean, "somewhere else is an alternate universe where things are Slightly Different, as a meta explanation for the changes made to the story to suit TV". and at the end of the series have the big twist be that not only are they passing the fears on, this isn't even the first time they've done it (BIG cosmic horror potential here). Maybe have Annabelle explain this in universe, have Jon find this out, have Jonny Sims appear at the end like fucking rod sterling, whatever!! Just pay tribute to the original podcast by directing people to the first iteration of this story, to compare and contrast and revel in the tragedy that across universes, our heroes were always doomed, if in slightly different ways.

"We're just going to pass it on" takes on a whole new meaning now, doesn't it?

[4ragon]

oh not so much something to ramble on, but i've been meaning to get into the tales of series, would u know what's a good way to start? also! trucy & phoenix dynamic please?

Ooooooo I see I see. There are a couple of good games you could start with, most of them aren't connected in any meaningful way so you could start with almost any of them. I think Tales of Symphonia is relatively inexpensive on Steam, and even physical copies for GC or PS3 aren't going for too much. It's a really solid game, the story is amazing, and I think it holds up very well gameplay wise for a game from the mid 2000s. That may be your best bet.

If you're willing to shell out a bit more money, I think Abyss, Vesperia Definitive Edition, Berseria, or even the newest game, Arise, are all decent starting places. They all play pretty different though, and have wildly different stories. Some have grand, epic adventures, some have that found family I crave so much, some have darker tones, it really depends. I can go more in depth on any of those if you want.

Okay back to your regularly scheduled Ace Attorney

I just love Trucy and Phoenix so much. I think it was pretty obvious just through the trilogy that Phoenix would already make a wonderful father, and I was so gosh darn pleased when I started aa4 that he had a kid. (Also very confused. But mostly pleased.) And, as I said earlier, found family is ABSOLUTELY my jam, and Phoenix and Trucy embody a lot of what I like about it.

Like. They found each other at the lowest points of their lives, when Phoenix lost his badge and Trucy lost her father, and that is what got them through those seven years. Phoenix and Trucy saved each other in their own ways, and it’s so clear throughout how much they love each other. They’re almost always on the same wavelength throughout aa4, they just have such and easy and natural back and forth and are always so in sync with each other. They’re always in cahoots to mess with Apollo. And their love for each other is so sweet and genuine, Phoenix thinks of Trucy as his saving grace, and Trucy thinks the world of him in turn. Man, it’s just such a beautiful relationship.

I do worry that Trucy is the type to put far too much of her father’s wellbeing on her own shoulders. She’s that type of person to mask her emotions, to put on a show to benefit the people she cares about most. It’s made very clear by the end of aa4 that Phoenix can see through that façade, but it’s also clear that Trucy has been able to help pull Phoenix through those seven years. Plus, she seems to be the breadwinner of the family, the one in charge, which on one level is sweet, but at the same time, that’s a lot of pressure for a girl. She lost her first daddy already, and her mommy, and now her new daddy is struggling financially after having his reputation destroyed. And it’s not your fault, but what else can you do but put the world on your shoulders to take care of the person who saw you at your lowest and took you in? It’s not perfect, and it’s not healthy, but it seems like the exact mindset a person like Trucy would take on.

Still, man, it’s so clear that Trucy still has Phoenix wrapped around her little finger. He let her take over his office, he buys her what he can, he goes to her shows. Man, have you ever heard that audio drama where they’re at her show and he’s like “Oh my god that girl on stage is my daughter I love her I’m so proud of her” it just melts my heart! That’s his daughter! It doesn’t matter how they met, it doesn’t matter that they’re not bound by blood, he opened his home and his heart to her and cherished her with every ounce of his being.

Every interaction they have in these games is so fun. Even the short-lived section in DD. Man I swear if they make another game and have her barely interact with her loved ones I’m going to go feral. Give me more Trucy. She’s perfect. Can you imagine cases with Phoenix and Trucy as a team? Their dynamic is so fun, getting to watch them work together would be such a blast.

[seaspectr]

sea's fiction podcast recs!

If you're new to the fiction podcast genre or looking for a new show to try, here's a list I compiled over years of listening to audio dramas and similar podcasts :)

For those who don't know, fiction podcasts are scripted audio-only stories that play kind of like a TV show in your head. The podcast medium is a lot more accessible to otherwise marginalized creators, so you can generally expect more diversity in the stories being told than you'd see from Hollywood. I love podcasts because they are perfect to keep your mind occupied while doing more mundane tasks like chores, video games, or drawing.

The is organized from most to least recommended, and there are asterisks next to shows with heavy LGBTQ representation, though virtually every show on the list has at least one or two minor queer characters. All of the descriptions and genre tags are written by me, and I try to keep things as brief as possible so that you can look through them quickly and find a match! Everything is available to find on Spotify unless otherwise linked.

Top 5 audio fiction:

Wolf 359, Penumbra Podcast: Juno Steel, The Bright Sessions, Archive 81, The Magnus Archives

Full list under the cut

Audio Fiction

Wolf 359

Space station shenanigans evolve to uncovering the horrifying secrets of a cryptic organization. (Drama, Action, Mystery, Science fiction)

The Penumbra Podcast (Juno Steel series only)*

Brooding detective solves cases on Mars and falls in love with a master thief. (Action, Romance, Science fiction, Noir)

The Bright Sessions*

Therapist works with people with supernatural abilities, but a dangerous organization looms on the horizon. (Drama, Mystery)

Archive 81*

Employee tasked with listening to tapes discovers a world of cosmic horror, eventually becoming intertwined with the world and the tapes themselves. (Horror, Action)

The Magnus Archives*

Archivist records statements of individuals’ encounters with the paranormal. Eventually, he falls deeper into the world of supernatural horrors and struggles to retain his own humanity. (Horror, Mystery)

Life with Leo(h)*

An uptight lawyer's life is turned upside down when she is gifted a sentient android programmed to be in love with her. (Romantic comedy)

Look Up*

Love story between two high school boys who meet up on the beach at night to stargaze as they await their moms' return from space. (Romance)

In Strange Woods (Musical)

Journalist follows the story of a town after the disappearance of a highschooler in the woods. Note: heavy themes of grief. (Mystery)

36 Questions (Musical)

A woman tries to make amends with her ex-husband after long-held secrets were revealed. (Romance)

Harbor*

Small town siblings work at a mysterious department that deals with issues pertaining to supernatural monsters. (Horror)

ars Paradoxica

Physicist accidentally travels back in time into WW2 and changes the course of history as she tries to find a way back. (Drama)

The Two Princes*

Love story between two young princes in a medieval fantasy setting. (Romance, Fantasy)

This Planet Needs a Name*

Crew of scientific explorers are tasked with terraforming an alien world for the future of humanity. (Science fiction)

Desperado*

Misfits fight to protect their old gods and heritage from crusaders in a modern world. (Fantasy)

The Deca Tapes

Cabin fever amongst a group of amnesiacs known only by their roles with backstories that shed horrifying light on each of the individuals stuck together. (Mystery, Science fiction)

Time Bombs

Three episode arc about a bomb squad by the creators of Wolf 359. (Action)

Kaleidotrope* (link to listen)

College radio show that offers romantic advice... until the hosts fall for each other! (Romantic comedy)

Welcome to Night Vale*

Follows a radio host as he casually documents a small town’s inexplicably strange news. (Absurdist horror)

We’re Alive

A ragtag group of soldiers manage a safe haven in LA when a zombie apocalypse breaks out. (Action, drama)

Midst

Fast-paced narration of a uniquely imaginative fantasy setting and the varied characters on it. (Fantasy, Action)

Alba Salix: Royal Physician

Sitcom-like hospital comedy in medieval fantasy setting. (Comedy, Fantasy)

Red Valley

Corporate employee discovers records of the bloody creation of human cryonic technology. (Horror, Science fiction)

Unseen*

Vignettes of people living beyond the veil in a world of hidden magic. (Fantasy)

Rabbits

Investigative journalist uncovers secrets of an ancient organization in hopes of finding her missing friend. (Mystery)

Mabel

Caretaker communicates with a woman trapped within the soul of a house through a series of voicemails. (Mystery)

Other Fiction Shows

The Adventure Zone

D&D played by three brothers and their dad; both heartwarming and hilarious.

Myths & Legends

Retellings of mythology from around the world in a fresh contemporary voice.

Fictional

Retellings of classic lit in that same fresh contemporary voice.

Hello from the Magic Tavern

Somewhat raunchy improvised comedy show centered on a guy who has accidentally fallen into a medieval tavern in a magical land and banters with a glory-seeking old wizard and a chillaxed talking badger.

Off Book

Improvised comedy in the form of musicals.

* = High LGBT+ rep

This isn't meant to be objective but instead a list based on my own personal opinion toward the shows I've listened to. Feel free to add on with your own favorite shows, I know there are a lot of amazing ones out there I still haven't listened to. :)

You've reached the end of the list!

[lemonjoonah]

In Need of Orders (M)

Pairings: Seokjin x Reader Word Count: 15K Rating: M Genre: Kingsman AU, action, drama, romance, smut, comedy, rivals to lovers  Warnings: violence, swearing, public foreplay, slight dom/sub dynamics which interchange (Seokjin is a bratty switch), discussion of safeword, light bondage, masturbation, voyeurism, oral sex (fem receiving), unprotected sex, small amount of cum eating, sexism in the workplace, referenced death of minor character, Seokjin and reader are bad at feelings.

Summary: After a disastrous mission, which lead to the destruction of your prized invention and the compromise of his cover, Seokjin is confined to your base, and placed under your command. Now that he’s stuck with little to do, he uses his time to investigate a past you simply want to forget.

A/N: AU based off the Kingsman Series, originally written by Mark Miller. There’s a mix of tech origins, the com-glasses, and poison-pen, were from the movie and the rest of the inventions are my own creation. Members will occasionally be referred to by their titles but I try and use their actual name as much as possible, here’s a list of members/characters and their corresponding titles: Reader - Merlin | Seokjin - Galahad |  Yoongi - Percival | Hoseok - Lancelot | Namjoon - (current) Arthur |

....

“No, no, no. NO! Seokjin, what did you do to my beautiful baby?!” You circle around what was once your wondrous invention. Your masterpiece of a vehicle that had taken years to get just right. When Yoongi dropped in a couple hours ago and told you to expect an unpleasant delivery you never could have imagined this. Unpleasant doesn’t begin to cover the damage done, this is an act of desecration. 

“Merlin, titles please! Without manners we are nothing,” Seokjin chides you, paraphrasing the principal motto as if it will save him from your wrath. You’ve reached your limit with him; there's no benefit you can see in maintaining pleasantries. 

“You will get my manners when you deserve them,” you growl back. “Now why did you sink my prized creation?”

“The cloaking device was faulty.” He shrugs off the loss like it’s nothing, no harm to him and therefore no foul.

“I find that hard to believe.” You’ve run this car through every test, checked every parameter, you would never have let it leave this workshop if it posed a danger to exposing agents.

“It was! I was conducting surveillance on a target when they became aware of my presence. They retaliated, so I needed a quick escape. I was on the overpass near the river, I knew there was a small oxygen tank in the glove compartment for emergencies-”

“So driving it off a bridge seemed like the best option?” You never thought you’d regret seeing the day you installed that safety feature, one that you intended for use in case of a gas or chemical assault, but here it is. “Tell me,” You look from your precious machine back to the monster who destroyed it, “What exactly were you doing when you noticed the glitch?”

“Just driving, maybe going around eighty. Does it really matter?” He sighs. “They saw me coming so I had to take cover or they would have shot me.” 

“Oh no, it works perfectly fine.” Your voice starts to echo through the workshop as your fury bubbles over. “When the user reads the manual and understands that cloaking only works when in a stationary position. I am a scientist not an actual fucking magician Seokjin! Of course you can’t travel when cloaked. If you had at least skimmed the booklet I gave you, you would have understood that!”

The technology you created doesn’t make the car invisible, instead it projects the images behind it to make it appear that way. It can only account for and cover small changes in movement, not whole vehicles travelling. Only an idiot would think that it could compensate for such drastic shifts to the backdrop. And for some reason that moron dares to continue arguing with you.  

“Booklet? That thing was a thousand pages long! You actually expected me to read that?” He counters his voice rising to combat yours.

“Oh, I’m sorry would you like me to make an audio-book for you next time? Or better yet I could make a grade school reader complete with pictures. Maybe that’ll hold your attention!”

There’s a sudden shift in his expression, with a thick smile forming on his face. “I suppose I wouldn't say no to a recording if it was read by you.” His words ooze with flirtatious mire, intent on sucking you in. 

Seokjin’s smirks and one liners have gotten him out of trouble many times with other agents. It’s not hard to see why, the man could be considered the most attractive of all your acquaintances,  but you refuse to let this drop simply because he’s batting his eyes in your direction. You grit your teeth and continue to chew him out. “Lancelot and Percival read it, I don’t see why I can’t hold you to the same standard.” 

“Fine, fine I’ll look it over.” He huffs in surrender, but even in defeat he still carries a playfulness in his tone. “When do you think you can get it back up and running again?”

“If you think I’m going to take time out of my schedule to fix this, only for you to go destroy it again, you have some nerve.” You can barely even register the destruction let alone process how much time it’ll take to repair everything. With the dents in the body work, the flooded engine, and the electrics most certainly fried, you're looking at weeks of work just to make it drivable again. But bringing it back to its full potential? That will require months of tinkering.

“What could you possibly have to do that’s more important than this.” Seokjin is clearly trying to hold back a snicker, but when a small snort escapes him, all remaining control of your temper vanishes.

“Seokjin, so help me god if you don’t leave my line of sight in three seconds, I’ll do those men a favour and shoot you myself.”

He chuckles at your threat, “You’re not-”  

“One.” You reach for your holster and take hold of your gun.

“Serious.” The laughter in his face starts to fade. 

“Two.” You disengage the safety and take aim.

“You won’t actually shoot me.”

“Th-” 

“At ease Merlin.” Yoongi interjects, entering the room with his face buried in a file. His indifference is a true sign of how well he knows you. You were only going to relieve Seokjin of a few strands of hair, but maybe it’s better this way. The sound of gunfire would surely result in a slight loss of hearing, and Seokjin already has trouble listening. You sigh, lowering your pistol. 

“I can only guess you’ve both been discussing the...” Yoongi comments looking down at the remains of the car. “Accident.” 

“More like negligence,” You mutter, flicking a bit of mud off what was once a perfect paint job.

“Listen, I tried Percival,” Seokjin appeals to Yoongi. “We’ve been looking for this guy for months. I had him in my grasp,  I couldn’t risk losing him.”

“I know Galahad,” Yoongi rubs his brow as his gaze returns to the document in front of him “but there’s concern that you’ve been compromised, after reading your report there are worries that you might be identified and expose the operation. You’re on lock down for the remainder of the mission.”

“No! I’m so close to bringing him in. Just let me assist,” Seokjin pleads. You would probably feel bad for him if he hadn’t just gone and destroyed your life's work.

“The rest of the order doesn’t seem to agree. In fact they’ve called your work on this case,” Yoongi flips to another page of the file, “Reckless, irresponsible, and fails to even remotely represent their request for a covert operation...” He turns the file around to push it in Seokjin’s face. “And they’ve written those last two words in all caps, see?” 

You chuckle quietly, covering it with a cough but Yoongi doesn’t look convinced. His gaze shifts to you as he hands down the rest of the directive. “Due to these recent events, Galahad is to remain here for the duration of the operation. Under your orders.”

“Wait, what?! Why are they punishing me too?”

“It’s not meant to be a punishment Merlin.”

“The fuck it isn’t. Why can’t Lancelot look after him? It was his idea to allow him on the mission.” You admire Hoseok greatly, but in your opinion it was a bad decision to add Seokjin to the roster for this operation. 

“If Lancelot or I are seen with him then our cover will be blown too.” Yoongi reasons, “You’re the only one who operates completely behind the scenes.”

“But why do I have to be put under command of another agent?” Seokjin interjects.

“Because, you are clearly in need of orders until you can get your rash instincts under control. Just be grateful it’s not a complete dismissal.” Yoongi starts to step away with the matter settled.

There goes your peace and quiet. Unless... you call out to Yoongi with one last shred of hope. “Permission to put him under a gag order for every possible topic of conversation?”

“Denied, but nice try Merlin.” Yoongi smirks as he enters the elevator which will bring him back above ground.

Yep, you’re truly going to be living your own personal hell in such tight quarters. A small work den and communications relay located beneath a PC bang in the heart of Seoul. The base was never intended to host more than one for a long term stay. It’s purpose is for agents to stock up, gather their orders sent from headquarters, and then leave. The only person who actually stays on site is you. “Well then, the bedroom’s mine but you can take the sofa. Don’t touch what’s mine without my consent and we shouldn’t have a problem. Is that clear?” You lay down the rules quickly not wanting to prolong any further conversation with your new resident.

“Yes Ma’am.” Seokjin answers looking truly defeated for once.    

“If you’ll excuse me I have work to do.”You brush past him towards your computer, needing to assess what components you’ll need to order first for repairs.

“Wait, what am I supposed to do?” 

“You’re a big boy, I’m sure you can figure something out.” You respond keeping your eyes focused on the screen.

“Could you show me how to fix it?” His unusually quiet request manages to break your concentration.

“Fix what, the car?” You glance back at him with narrowed eyes, trying to figure out his angle. “Why would I do that?”

“Well for starters I probably can’t fuck it up any more than it is.” He laughs but your lack of reaction kills his joke rather quickly. “It would cut down your workload. Give me a better appreciation for what you do. You would get to order me around. And who knows, you might even enjoy my company.”

He’s right, you could use the extra pair of hands, and he might learn something. “Fine, you can start by reading this.” You fling the tome of a manual at his chest, causing him to grunt from the impact. “Report to me when you're done.”  

...

“How can you even call that a couch? I’ve seen footrests bigger than that disappointment.” Seokjin comments as he enters the workshop. You slide out from under your car to find his hands tending to the muscles at the back of his neck, and heavy bags resting under his eyes. It's the first time you’ve seen him exist at a fraction less than perfection in his appearance, a gratifying perk in this unfavourable situation.  

“It’s all that would fit.” You grab a towel laying on the floor next to you cleaning the dark grease of the car off your skin. Usually you wouldn’t bother wiping it off just yet, but having Seokjin in your presence has made you oddly self-conscious. “You might have noticed space is limited here.”

“Then who’s idiotic idea was is to make a base in this shoe box of a hole?” He grills you, probably intending to roast the architect of such a small site. 

“Mine actually. After the data breach a year and a half ago we needed something more secure. There’s so much information streaming to and from this location that it makes it difficult for anyone to find our dealings. It’s the perfect spot.”

“Perfect if you’re a mouse.” Seokjin takes a seat in your straight-backed desk chair. Groaning as his fingers continue to knead, moving down to his wide shoulders.

“Are you implying I’m some kind of rodent?” You glare up at him, ready to defend yourself against the slight.

“You should take it as a complement, mice are cute.” He gives you one of his famed smiles, the type where you can’t tell if he’s sincere or mocking.

“Why are you down here Seokjin?” You ask preparing to wheel back down beneath the undercarriage of your car. “I can’t imagine you’ve finished reading the manual already.”

“I did actually. This is me reporting for duty.” He throws the book down on to the floor next to you, marked and dog-eared. “Not a whole lot else I can do while on lock down.” 

“Is someone upset that Lancelot and Percival get to have all the fun? Maybe it’ll teach you to obey orders better, rather than getting stuck here with me.”

“I can follow them just fine... when they don’t conflict with the completion of my mission.”

“Not getting spotted was part of your mission Seokjin.” Your response is dry as you state the obvious.

“Yes, but so is recovering the data from that breach, before he can unload it on someone else.”

“You don’t know that he has it. That’s why you had to observe him.”

“Listen to me, Hwang’s a fence, one whose been trying his best to stay off our grid, of course he has it. Once we find him we can track everything back to his source.” Seokjin’s confidence is admirable. You can’t deny that you would like to catch the one responsible for unleashing one hell of a computer virus that caused you and many others weeks of havoc and restless nights. The worst part is you don’t even know what they were able to get a hold of, the sooner Yoongi and Hoseok can track this man down the better.

“You still should have exerted more caution, you're not the only one on this team Seokjin, people can get hurt if you're too brash.” You’re surprised to find Seokjin nodding with his head hung low. Since when does he ever agree with you on something?  “Now that you’re done with the manual, I do have work to assign that I doubt even you can mess up. Every single electrical circuit and wire needs to be removed, it’s unlikely that any have survived the flooding so it would be safer just to take them all out. I’m going to see if I can save the engine.”

Seokjin gives you a cheeky two finger salute before he sets to work behind the dash.

Thirty minutes later he’s already back at it with questions. “Do you have any speakers set up for music?”

“No, we could have used the car radio if you hadn’t submerged it, but here we are.” You usually work in silence anyway, but getting to deliver another stab of guilt is better than admitting your regular tendencies. 

“Ah no problem, I can fix that.” At first you wonder if he intends to repair the radio, but when he proceeds to hum loudly, you realize that’s not the case. Instead he treats you to a selection of unrecognizable songs which you don’t bother to ask the title of.

You let it go for as long as you can, but thirty minutes later when you move from under the car to beneath the hood needing to drain the cylinders next, you finally raise the white flag in pursuit of silence. “Seokjin, please just stop okay?”

His chuckle taunts you, “That’s what you get for pulling a gun on me yesterday.”

“If you’re not careful I’ll do it again.” Your tone turns salty once you realize that is was his intent to torture your ears.

“Can’t believe you lasted that long, I thought for sure you were going to crack after five minutes of my melodies.”

“That’s what that was? I thought you jammed your thumb and were screaming out in pain the whole time.”

“Ha ha,” He retorts. You're almost upset when he goes quiet with nothing substantial to follow up your jab, but then he opens his mouth again. “How can you work when it’s so quiet?”

“Helps me focus when there’s no distractions.” You answer hoping that he’ll take the hint and remain silent.

“But doesn’t it get lonely?”

You slow your pace as you loosen the bolts on the gasket cover, choosing your words carefully as you make an attempt to side step that minefield of a query. “I work better when I’m by myself.”

“That wasn’t my question.” Seokjin catches on to your evasion proceeding to look around the hood of the car trying to meet your eyes.

“We all make sacrifices Seokjin. This is mine.”

“If you spoke to Arthur-”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You try to cut him off quickly not wanting to get him involved in your circumstances, but he continues.

“I’m sure he would listen.”

“Drop the subject Seokjin, that’s an order.” You take a deep breath trying not to lose more of your composure again. “I chose to work in this place for several reasons. I don’t need to explain every one of them to you.”

Seokjin is surprisingly quiet for the rest of the day. It’s doubtful that you scared him off with your temper, he’s too confident for that. It’s more likely that he’s frustrated with you’re bickering. You hang back a bit more only giving direction when absolutely necessary. If you have to live with him you might as well attempt to make it bearable for the both of you.

That night you treat him to ramen from the business upstairs, they don’t usually do take-out but they make an exception for you. He sits across from you in a desk chair slurping his noodles while his eyes bore into you. “What, do I have something on my face?” You ask, starting to feel uncomfortable under his gaze.

Seokjin takes another slurp of his dish before he explains himself. “No, I’m just trying to figure you out.” 

“Please don’t.” You plead, not wanting to broach the same subject from earlier.

“You’re passionate about your work. You’re good at what you do. Your superiors trust you.” You groan with exasperation, nevertheless he persists. “You're lonely here. The order could put you anywhere and you would most likely excel, and yet you bury yourself here, in this hovel.”

“It’s not a hovel...” You mutter, but you’ve run out of energy to argue and your appetite has now vanished. Rising from your seat you bid him good night. “I’m going to bed. Clean up this mess when you're done, and try not to throw your neck out cramming yourself onto my couch again.” 

“Yes Ma’am.” He gives a muffled reply with noodles hanging from his mouth, and another fake salute.

You shake your head as you close your bedroom door behind you.

...

 “You know,” Seokjin bursts into your room early the next morning, startling you awake. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen test scores as high as these. Are you sure you’re not a magician Merlin, because these results seem too good to be true. ” 

You bolt upright in terror, “What are you looking at?”

“The start of your journey with the Kingsman.” He wanders around to sit at the foot of your bed as you drag the covers up to your chest. “I figured if there was an answer I would find it here, but I’ve never seen such an impressive resume. The last Arthur had you pegged from the beginning as the successor to your predecessor, he even recorded that his candidate didn’t stand a chance against you. You should be proud of this...” He leans to you reading the expressions on your face. “But you’re not. You’re scared. Why is that?”

“Stay out of my files Kim Seokjin.”

“Is that an order?” He asks his face still only a couple inches from yours when it pulls into smirk, looking pleased that he’s caught you off guard.

“Yes.”

“If I recall,” He closes the document in his hands, but his analysis continues, “You were moved here just shortly after Namjoon took over the position of Arthur. You were living the life before, testing and training new recruits, doling out orders and information. But then you fell into this pit. What did you do to piss him off?” 

    “Nothing, ju-just stop asking, okay? I don’t need your help, so stop trying to save me!” Your voice cracks as it reaches the point of yelling but he doesn’t back away. “Staying here alone, that was my choice. So don’t you dare try to take my one salvation away from me.” 

“I’m not trying to take it away. I just want to understand it.” He answers his tone controlled and calm while holding your gaze firmly in his. When you look away he finally gets up leaving you with your files on your dresser. 

...

A week passes and Seokjin continues to try and figure out why you chose to work in your closed off environment. Throwing out random and bizarre questions on what you might have done to Namjoon to get yourself stationed here.

“Did you expose his guilty pleasure for stuffed animals?” He asks as he helps you unbolt and remove seats, making room for the new chairs and bench which just arrived. 

“Does he have a guilty pleasure for such a thing?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.” Seokjin states with a snicker.

“No.” 

“Did you lose his glasses?’’ Seokjin inquires next as he pulls the seat from the driver side all on his own. You can’t help but notice the muscles straining through the back of his shirt as he lifts the heavy chair from its place. When he turns back around for the next you berate your pitiful self-control. Yes he’s attractive, but he’s also the current thorn in your side. God must be a sadist for creating this enticing man, with such a sharp tongue and a plaguing desire to mock you. 

“He does that just fine himself, he doesn’t need me to do it for him.” In fact, you have two pairs on backup for Namjoon at all times, just in case such a need should arise. 

“Did you sneak into his house and switch the sugar to salt in his tea set?”

“That’s just cruel,” You chuckle at the idea, making a mental note to check your own sugar before your next cup of coffee. “But no I didn’t.” 

“Well that’s it then, I’m out of ideas for today.” He heaves the passenger chair next to the other with an exhausted breath. A bead of sweat drips down his brow as he collapses on the new back bench waiting to be installed. 

“Really? I’m surprised. You haven’t asked the obvious question.” You lay the statement as bait hoping he’ll take hold so you can reel him in. To your delight, he does. 

“Oh and what’s that?” His eyes light up, with the chance that you might actually tell him something informative.

“Did I destroy his favourite vehicle? I mean, that’s why you’re stuck here isn’t it?” Seokjin glares at you in frustration, his gloom making you giggle. “But the answer to that too is no, I didn’t. I’m not a scoundrel.”

“Is that what I am to you now,” He presents a gleeful smile with a raised brow. “A scoundrel?”

“Why do you look so proud about that?” Your question is full of judgement, but his delight is not swayed.

“Because, scoundrels are sexy.” He tilts his head and bites his lip with a nod as if to make a point.

You let out an obnoxious laugh. “Maybe to some. I fail to see the appeal.”

“Then what do you consider sexy?”

“Someone who’s attentive, and dutiful. You know, an adult.” You attempt to describe the very traits he appears to lack to make your point. Though Seokjin’s looks might draw you in, you are in need of something more.

He rolls his eyes and scoffs, “Where’s the fun in that?”

“It’s not always about the fun, I just like someone who I can depend on.” 

Seokjin’s about to respond, his mouth open with a solemn stare in his eyes when the elevator chimes. It’s doors open for you to find a haggard Hoseok with two black empty bags. You greet him with surprise, having completely lost track of time, he had mentioned that he would be stopping by to pick up supplies. 

You hurry away to unlock and ready the stock. While Seokjin rushes in, barely even letting Hoseok off the lift, launching into an interrogation about the mission and any progress they’ve made. There’s only a few short words exchanged before the man left in your charge storms away slamming the door behind him as he exits the workshop to your common room.

“Lancelot?” You call out to Hoseok with hesitation, noticing that he’s still standing in place where Seokjin left him. Stepping in you help to take and load one of his duffles with surveillance equipment he requested. After Seokjin’s barrage he looks like he might rupture if you’re not careful.  

“Please no formalities,” He sighs in exhaustion, while he too starts to pack up what he needs. “I would prefer not to be an agent right now, even if it’s just for five minutes.”

“That bad?” You wince for Hoseok’s sake, he’s usually so optimistic, it’s worrisome to see him so beaten down.  

“We know Hwang’s back in Seoul, but any time we get a whiff of a more detailed location he vanishes. Yoongi and I have brought in more agents. We’re stationed in the south end of the city now, trying to keep an ear to the ground.” He zips up his case and then turns the conversation to you. “How are you holding up?”

“Fine I guess, but Seokjin’s been looking into my assignment here. He keeps trying to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong.” Hoseok is one of only a few who know why you chose such an assignment, and you would like to keep it that way.

“Maybe you should give it a smack then. Or better yet put him on a leash.” Hoseok finally breaks into a smile as he pats you on the back. 

“He’s not a dog Hoseok.”

“Really?” Hoseok raises his eyebrows as if it’s news to him. “Cause he looks at you with those puppy eyes all the time. I’m surprised you don’t see it.” 

 “I don’t need someone who doesn’t listen to me Hoseok.”

“Okay yes, that accident with the car was a major misstep on his part...”

“And the constant prodding into my past?” You groan, you were hoping Hoseok would have your back immediately. Why does he have to take the role of impartial referee when you need his bias the most?

“He probably thinks you’ve been wronged, and that you deserve better. Is it not natural to what's best for those we care about?”

You tilt your head starting to question your fellow agent’s sanity. “I doubt that’s the case Hoseok, he just likes to be nosey.”

“Fine, have it your way, live in denial. I’m sure he’ll be out of your hair soon anyway. But if I were you I would try and explain the situation. He might not be living here but you’ll still have to work closely with him in the future.” 

“You’re saying I should tell him?” You challenge his suggestion, he must be overworked since he’s definitely not thinking clearly. 

“I know it won’t be easy, but if he knows what’s really bothering you, he might try to be more tolerable.” He lugs the cases off the table crossing the straps over his chest.

“Either that or he’ll use it as ammo to really gun me down.” You curl your lip at the thought pacing behind Hoseok as he moves towards the elevator to head back above ground. 

Before the door closes between you he holds it open to give you the support you wanted along with a sigh. “I really don’t think that’ll be the case. But if he does... I’ll be your witness when you tell Arthur you shot him in self-defence.”

“Deal.” 

...

You find Seokjin on the couch with a pile of files and a coffee on the small table, his brow furrowed and his mouth pulled tight as he scans through each one at a rapid pace. 

“I take it you weren’t happy with his update?” You call out as you enter the room advancing towards him.

“No, I wasn’t. They had to pull in lower level field agents because I can’t be out there to help them. We probably would have caught Hwang by now if I was still working on the case.”

“Seokjin, I have every camera in the city looking for him, there’s not much else we can do from here. And your not going out there to track-”

“I know I’m not Merlin. I just want this to be over so I can get my shot at redemption.”

You nod looking down at the files in front of him.“What are those?” 

He lets out a panicked laugh as he tries to scrounge them together. “Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Seokjin.” You draw out his name with intent to reprimand, leading him to respond with a nervous grin. He shifts his hands away giving you a better view of what he’s up to. 

“Since you said I couldn’t look through your files I thought I would take a general overview of those you’ve trained or worked with.”

You shake your head, tired of this never ending battle between the two of you. “You’re not going to stop are you?”

“Nope.” He takes a sip from his mug as he looks back down to the information he’s gathered. You scan through the names and pull out the file that haunts you to this day. Dropping it in front of Seokjin before taking a seat in the armchair across from him. He reads the name off the tab. “James Paxton the third, he sounds like a pompous prick.”

“Oh I can confirm he was, and definitely one of the most hard-headed recruits I’ve ever tested, but we shouldn’t speak ill of the dead,” You mutter as Seokjin opens his file to find the word deceased stamped in bold red letters. He stares up at you with his mouth agape, you can see the wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out how this fits into your narrative. 

“Why didn’t I hear about this?”

“It wasn’t really broadcasted through the regular channels, if you weren’t at the main headquarters you didn’t know about it. It happened just over a year ago.”

“I would have been in Lhasa...” Seokjin mutters.

You nod, not surprised that information flew under his radar. “I didn’t realize it at the time, but the last Arthur, he saw me as a bar for people to cross. He thought if recruits could take orders from a ‘bossy woman’ they could take orders from anyone. James Paxton didn’t pass that test, and he paid for it with his life.”

Thankfully for once, Seokjin doesn’t have a comment, instead he sits there, waiting for you to continue.

“Paxton thought me pushy, and overbearing, told me so to my face, several times in fact. I should have had him kicked out, but I was determined to prove him wrong. There was a mission to recover the stolen data a couple months after the breach. There was a lead, before we learned of Hwang.  We thought we had the location of where the data had been transferred to. I was supposed to go on the mission, but at the last minute Arthur told me to direct the team from off site.” 

Your hands start to shake as the story continues. A mixture of both anger and fear coursing through you. You shift to hide them beneath you, gripping your legs to keep your fingers steady, but they fail to escape Seokjin’s notice.

His eyes are downcast in shame. “You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to Merlin. I’m-”

“You wanted to hear this Seokjin. I told you to leave it alone, I told you I didn’t want to talk about it.” You take a deep breath trying to rein in your anger, “Either you let me finish or never question me about my situation again.” He shuts his mouth instantly letting you continue. “It didn’t take me long to realize the lead was a trap once they got on site. I ordered a retreat, everyone else followed except for Paxton”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Seokjin interjects sitting on the edge of his seat. 

“That doesn't mean I can’t be upset by it! Instead of trying to curb the discrimination the previous Arthur used it, and I didn’t even understand what he was doing until I lost someone. I found out that he enforced the idea among the recruits, that I was an overly authoritative woman, one who fails to take proper risks. Forget the fact that I am highly qualified, that I have more experience and knowledge of many of the situations than the other leaders, my lack of dick disqualified me from being taken seriously.” Seokjin falls silent again. He must realize that he too has failed to take you seriously in the past, then again, he’s that way with everyone else too. 

“When Namjoon became the new Arthur shortly after, I was able to address my grievances. He was ashamed of his predecessor and wanted to do right by me, so I requested this place as a base. I wanted somewhere I could work on my own for the most part and not have to worry about people thinking me conceited or bossy. I needed a break from giving out orders.”

You finally finish to find Seokjin with a narrowed brow and clenched jaw. His tone matching the anger in his stance, “You’ve been here a year-”

“I know.”

“You’re telling me you’ve been punishing yourself for a year?” He’s question is poised with what looks to be genuine frustration, “Over two assholes who couldn’t understand how valuable you are?”

“It’s not a punishment, it’s a safety net.” You explain.

“It’s a cell!” He gestures around him. “You’re basically living in solitary.” You shift awkwardly not knowing what to say, and definitely not expecting this reaction. “Come on, we’re going out.” He orders, getting up from his seat and pulling you out of yours. “There’s a bar I know close by. I’m taking you out for a drink.”

“You think it wise for you to leave?” You question him, not knowing how else to diffuse the situation, not when your focus is drawn to his grip which wraps your shoulders. 

“It’s only a couple blocks away. If we see anything suspicious I promise we’ll head straight back. It’s your call, but I think you could use a night out.” He pushes you in the direction of your bedroom. “Go change into something that doesn’t have oil stains all over it.” 

You should probably put your foot down, there’s no saying what could happen. But seeing Seokjin act like this... maybe Hoseok was right, he actually cares. The problem is now that you can see this side of him you don’t want to lose hold of it just yet. “Fine, but if anything at all is amiss-”

“We’ll hightail it out of there, and barricade ourselves in here for the long haul.” He rattles off the promises. “Now go get ready.” 

...

Seokjin maintains the persona of a caring companion as he drags you to his favourite bar in the city. “It’s quiet and the owner, Choi, is an old friend of Percival’s, he knows not to ask too many questions. There’s almost always at least one or two of us from the order or field agents hanging out there.”

He holds the door open for you to enter and you're greeted to the sight of a worn down ale house. A robust and stained wooden bar takes the focal point of the room, and there’s not a single other patron in sight. You can’t help but regret being forced to change out of your usual attire. You didn’t want to look out of place, but with no one here to take notice, your black dress it’s an unnecessary and uncomfortable gambit. Seokjin on the other hand looks very pleased to be back in his usual attire, a  three piece suit that’s been confined to the closet while he’s with you in the workshop.   

“Like I said, it’s quiet.” He chuckles while he helps you take off your coat.

From out back steps the barman to greet you. He’s an unexpected yet welcome gem of a sight among the rubble, a handsome face with a wide smile which he presents to you. You might have to stop by here again just to take in this view, maybe study some of the tattoos he has scattered across his arms. 

“Choi not in tonight?” Seokjin asks after seeing your reaction to the man behind the counter. He must not be the usual staff, it’s a shame really, but it’s funny to see Seokjin look so displeased. Realizing that for once he might not be the most attractive person in the room.

“Oh you know him?” Your host inquires with surprise, “No he wasn’t feeling too good, probably will end up spending the night by a toilet from the looks of him. I offered to take over tonight so he could get some rest.”

“That was nice of you.” You extend the man a warm smile.

“I like to think so.” He responds while beaming back at you. Seokjin hastily gives both your orders, allowing the bartender to leave you with a lingering stare as he walks back to grab your drinks. Maybe your efforts with the dress weren’t such a waste.

Seokjin glares at the man, mumbling a few choice words from which you manage to pull the word, ‘Flirt’. 

“He was just being nice.”

“My god you can’t read people when it comes to the way they look at you. You’ve clearly caught his attention...” Seokjin drops unexpectedly.

“I can read people just fine.” You bite back in confidence. 

“Really?” He challenges you, leaning forward with a whisper, “Then I suggest you look a bit closer.”

   The bartender hammers Seokjin’s drink down in front of him while he slides yours along gently, giving you a chance to inspect a stunning work of art on his hand, a flock of birds flying in formation following the trail between his thumb and index. He catches your stare and while you might be embarrassed at your lingering eyes he teases the skin of his lip between his teeth. “I’ll let you get back to your date.” He gives you one last flash of a grin as he backs away into what must be a stock room.

“It’s not a... date.” You start to explain but it’s reduced to a sigh once the man leaves your sight.

Seokjin presses a napkin to your mouth prompting you to look back at him in utter confusion. “Sorry, thought I spotted some drool,” He dabs the corner of your lips. “Just there.”

You steal the napkin from his hand and toss it on the bar. “Thank you for your concern.” You take a long draft of your drink refusing to look at your fellow agent. 

“Someone must be thirsty.” He snickers, not bothering to keep his laughter hidden.

“What can I say, the refreshments at the base have been far from gratifying.” Your quip might be implied but it hits its mark with flawless execution.

“Hey!” The volume of Seokjin’s voice rises to a new level to aid in his defence. “I’ll have you know I’ve been called an acquired taste.” 

“You’ll have to forgive my pallet for not meeting your standards then. I’m in need of something that goes down a bit easier.”

You take your victory in the form of Seokjin’s reddening ears and sputter from his lips. “After that confession, I’m almost sorry to be standing between you and that tall drink. Almost.” He reiterates with a wink.

“It’s probably for the best.” You sigh, finally dropping the banter. “He might be interested now, but I bet that would change pretty quickly if he got to know me.” 

“I doubt that.” He whispers right before he takes a sip. You can’t be entirely sure that he intended you to hear his comment.

“Oh really? You’ve spent the past week in very close proximity with me. How would you describe me?”

“There’s definitely a mix of frustration, with a side agitation, and a need for provocation. ” You let out a heavy groan while he continues. “Now some might find those to be unlikable traits, but I’ve come to find them very endearing.”  

You snort into your drink. “That’s the best joke you’ve told yet.”

Seokjin nods carrying the weight of a small smile on his lips. “What about me? I’d be curious to hear how you read my personality.”

“Are you sure about that?’

He nods, “Hit me with your best shot... if you can.”

He might think you unable to read people, but you can’t wait to prove him wrong. Your words spill faster than you intend, creating an improvisational soliloquy into his psyche.“You deflect with humor constantly, which in turn prevents anyone from getting close because they can tell what you truly feel about them. Can’t take an order without asking a question. You’re determined to a fault, but you also use that drive when you’re concerned that something’s wrong. Not letting anything rest until you’ve fixed what can be fixed.”

He holds your gaze, sitting there in silent disbelief before he comes to and lashes out, “Completely incorrect, it’s a wonder you became an agent.” He shakes his head with a scoff before finishing his drink in one sip.

“Nice deflection,” you counter. “I rest my case.”

He narrows his eyes and gives no response other than to call for another round. 

...

After finishing the second you’re about to suggest your return to the base, but the frown on Seokjin’s face as he looks into the bottom of his glass stops you. It should be an unwritten rule that men who look as good as him aren’t allowed to pout. How are you supposed to remain in charge when he can disarm you in seconds with a simple jut of his lip? It’s the one tool in his arsenal he has yet to use, you can only hope he doesn’t realize how effective it is on you.

You’re quick to order the next batch, and half way through the third he poses a question that he must have been holding on to. “You said in your analysis that people have trouble reading me because of my humour, how do I act when I really like someone?”

“How would I know?” You raise your brow along with your drink. 

“Then how do you think I should act? You know, so it’s not misconstrued as humour.”

“Level with the person, have a serious conversation for a fraction of a second.” It feels odd to be giving him your input on such a matter. Why would he ask this of you? And why do you mentally recoil when you start to think of him using that advice on someone else?

“If that's the case, I should probably tell you...” He leans in towards you, his face just inches away. Your heart stops as his hand reaches out to cover yours. He pauses there for a moment watching your expression, “I need to,” The gaps in his speech are big enough for your mind to flee from reality, creating a scenario where he admits... “I need to go use the facilities.” A half-hearted chuckle pours of him along with the words which break you from your daydream. 

“Then go,” You snap, your tone surprising even to you. It’s not like you wanted to have a serious moment with him, right? But the pain in your chest says otherwise.

“Are you... I was just kidding around,” he stammers.

What did you expect him to say, that he thinks of you as more than just an agent, even more than a friend? Did you want him to close the gap and kiss you? Oh god, you did. You like him. You like Kim Seokjin, and right then and there you wanted him to confess the same to you.

“Yeah I got it,” you mutter back, trying to cover your internal shock. “That’s all you ever do.”

 Seokjin gets up from his seat and heads to the washroom. Leaving you at the bar to contemplate his words. 

You feel like you’ve fallen into every trap you told yourself not to. But that can’t be right, it’s not like you fell for his fake smiles or flirtation. You must be drunk, that’s the only explanation. How else could you ever think that he might actually hold even a shred of feelings for you. He feels sorry for you, that’s all, that’s why you're here with him now. And once he’s treated your wounds, once he no longer feels guilty, he can go back to flirting with you and everyone else to get whatever he wants. 

The bell over the door chimes as a large group of people enter. You immediately look away, embarrassed by your current distress, turning your head to focus instead on the photos of the owner and his patrons pinned to the walls. Dabbing the corner of your eyes with the tip of your finger. 

Despite the number of newcomers the bar still remains oddly quiet. From a group of six you would expect the volume of conversation to be a bit more boisterous. With your instincts and suspicions now aroused, you keep an eye on them in the mirror over the bar.  Darting your eyes back to their reflection every few seconds, never wanting to linger too long. You’re about to throw away your apprehension, blaming it on your current level of anxiety on Seokjin, when something inexplicable happens. 

As the man seated in the middle leans towards one of his companions for a chat, his hand rises to rub his long nose, and in what you can only describe as a rendering problem, it passes through. You try to remain calm grabbing your glasses from your purse, turning yourself slightly you manage to edge his face in the very corner of your frames. With the tap of your finger to the rim of the specs you launch an application you created but never had the need to use personally.

When you had first designed your car, Yoongi had complained that even with the locater he had difficulty finding the vehicle when he left it cloaked. It was a reasonable request that prompted you to create a function that scans for visual distortions and creates a digital replication of what lies beneath the camouflage. And now as you activate that function you find what Seokjin and the others hadn’t been able to track down for months, the face of Hwang. 

He must be wearing what you can only guess is a variation on your technology, but instead of making his face invisible it projects different facial features over some of his own. It takes all of your restraint not to let out the swear taking up residence on the tip of your tongue. Why are they here of all places? Do they know that Seokjin is here? They look as if they’re waiting for someone. A potential mark, a seller, or maybe a buyer? 

Regardless of motive if your colleague steps out of the bathroom he’ll walk right into their view. You pull your glasses off leaving them on the bar, and call out to the keep. “Would you mind watching my stuff for me?” You gesture to your coat and specs putting on a fake smile. “Don’t want to lose my seat.”

“Don’t worry.” He confirms with a soft tone along with a grin. “I’ll keep them safe.”

Gliding off the stool, avoiding the stares of the target and his men, you slip into the hall and behind the men’s room door. Thankfully Seokjin’s already at the sink by this point. You find him hunched over hands pressing down on the counter as he lets out a long sigh.   

As he combs back his hair with damp fingers he looks up. Meeting your eyes in the mirror with embarrassment and disbelief, he lets out a small self pitting laugh. “Listen if you’re here to tell me off I get it, I didn’t mean-”

“Put your glasses on. You have them right?” You join him at the sink while his pity turns to confusion.

“What-”

“Just do it.”

He fumbles to retrieve them from his jacket pocket before sliding them on. You move in as close as you can, bracing yourself on his arms so you can speak into the receiver embedded. Seokjin looks taken aback but remains still as you encroach on his space. “Call Merlin, auto-connect override authorization 2769.” That creates a connection between the two glasses without you having to be there to answer it, allowing Seokjin to see the issue at hand.

“Fuck.” He whispers right next to your ear as you remain close, getting ready to call in for backup.

“My thoughts exactly.” You mutter, unable to decide if this is a stroke of good luck or bad.  “Add secondary line, call Lancelot.”

Seokjin leans his head down so the speaker falls next to your own ear. It’s not the best connection with the audio from the bar, but at least you can hear Hoseok. “Merlin, Galahad. What- am I seeing this right?”

“Yes, Hwang’s at our location, Choi’s bar. We’re not sure of his purpose here, but he’s brought a few friends.”

“I can see that, but why are you both there?”

“Not the time. We’re in the restroom but not in an adequate state to take on so many and secure the target. How long will it take you to get here?” You try to gloss over your lack of sobriety, but Hoseok doesn’t fall for the guise of your paraphrasing.

“Not in an adequate state huh? That’s an expression for drunk I haven’t heard before. Sending a message to Percival, I can have him and the team on site in 10 minutes. Can you maintain your current position?”

“Yeah small problem with that...” Seokjin comments.

“I heard it too, maintain cover at all cost. We can’t scare them away.” Hoseok’s voice flutters, sounding almost nervous.

“Heard what?” You can barely make out Hoseok’s words, let alone the taproom.

“Someone’s coming to check the bathrooms. They’re looking for any people of interest.”

“We could try slipping out the back door,” You offer.

Only for Hoseok to throw a wrench in your suggestion. “If it’s a business dealing they might have people posted there.”

“We need a distraction then?” You ask and Seokjin returns with a nod. Just hiding in a stall won’t do either, they’ll likely wait for the occupants to come out. You have to make them uncomfortable enough to leave without looking too close. You’ll probably regret what you're about to do later, but right now your options are limited. 

You reach out and grip Seokjin’s shirt, drawing him into you so he has you pressed against the counter. He catches on quickly, putting his hands on your waist he lifts you up and onto the marble surface. “Make it look good Seokjin. Shouldn’t be hard for you to put on a show, you’ve had so much practice with me already.” His act of concern, and portrayal of affection have shown you he should do just fine when it comes to a performance of lust. 

“It wasn’t my intent to toy with you.” He growls back before snatching your mouth with his, forceful enough to ensure swollen lips and smudged lipstick. One of his hands rises to your hair pulling the elastic out of place. Allowing his fingers to weave between the strands, he delivers a slight tug to your roots while you drag your teeth across his bottom lip.

You push his suit jacket off his wide shoulders, throwing it down on the counter next to you, before forcefully opening the top of his shirt, accidentally ripping the button off his collar in the process. He pauses his assault on your mouth for a moment, investigating the damage you imposed. 

“It wasn’t my intent to destroy your shirt, but here we are,” You explain unfastening the next two buttons with a bit more care. Your fingers dip under the crisp white cotton of his shirt, raking visible lines down his chest.  “Take responsibility for your actions for once. Tell people your true intentions or you will hurt them.” 

“You want me to know my intentions? Fine.” He unzips your dress a few inches to bare your collar and shoulders before his lips target your neck. You close your eyes letting your head roll back. “I want this.” Seokjin grabs your upper thigh compelling a gasp to escape you. “I want you.” He confesses the same time the door creaks open. 

There’s not much movement from Hwang’s lackey. Your new audience doesn’t come in far, instead he freezes in place when he spots the both of you. Seokjin addresses him in a gruff manner without turning his face away from you . “It’s not a free show buddy, take your piss and leave.” The man clears his throat, turns round and closes the door in his wake, leaving you once alone with Seokjin. Though revelling in his soft bites to your neck, gaining back your composer is a more pressing matter. “I think he’s gone.”

“We can’t be too sure,” Seokjin counters your observation as he continues to nip at the column of your throat. “He might come back.” 

“Shit, I just lost visual of the bar.” Hoseok interrupts much to your embarrassment. You somehow forgot he was on the com-line during your effort to teach your fellow agent a lesson. “We’re running blind, maintain cover for now.”

“See?” The breath of Seokjin’s laughter is felt on your skin as he wins the debate.

“You really want to keep going with this?” You’re surprised, just a few minutes ago the man was making you the butt of his joke. Why the change? 

“I wouldn’t mind. I’m just sorry we couldn’t be somewhere more intimate, or private.”

“You and me both,” Hoseok deadpans.

“Lancelot, I suggest you find something else to watch while we maintain cover as directed,” Seokjin instructs. You find his mouth back on yours before he gets a response on the com. 

He’s right though the circumstances are less than ideal for a romp. The damp counter beneath you, the flickering fluorescent lights, and the out of order stall in the corner are all enough to make you cringe. No part of this is glamorous except for the man standing in front of you, which makes him all the more appealing. “We could just lock the door you know.” You offer a logical substitute plan. “I’m sure after what they’ve seen they would understand and we could stop this charade.”

“But where’s the fun in that? I’m sorry but I am too dedicated to this cover. I want to see it through.”

“Percival’s team will be dropping in two minutes.” Hoseok cuts in. 

“Yes sir,” Seokjin mumbles against your lips while he responds to Hoseok, not dwelling on the interruption. “We should probably make the act more realistic, you know gasps, moans, they might be listening.”

You highly doubt that, but if he wants to play, fine. You’ll show him what he’s missing when he casts you aside. “You first.” You respond, tugging him between your legs, causing the hem of your dress to ride back. His cock erect beneath his pants and pressing against your clothed core. He lets out a groan of relief. “So unlike you to be already standing at attention.” You tease him.

“What can I say, you bring out the best in me,” he gasps in response.

Seokjin takes your legs in his hands driving your dress even further up your thighs as he proceeds to grind against you. He tilts his head with a smile while you react. “Too far?” He whispers. 

You shake your head. If only he knew what he would find if he pulled your underwear aside. Your cunt, committing the ultimate treason against your better sensibility, is ready and willing. If he’s not careful he might get a darkened spot on his suit pants.

As one hand slides further up the inside of your thigh, the other takes your chin directing you to meet his eyes. His fingers tease the edge of your underwear making their presence known and as he waits for permission to go further. You nod back at him. His fingers slip behind the strip of fabric, separating your sopping slit from the damp material. “Looks like you’re well prepared too Merlin.”

“I guess so,” You tease, “Do remind me to give a big tip to the bartender for that.”

“I have a hard time believing that none of this belongs to me.” Seokjin murmurs back to you, but just as his knuckles graze your slick folds and clit, Yoongi announces his team’s arrival. “Another time I guess,” Seokjin whispers with a final kiss to your cheek. He helps you off the counter and pulls down your dress to a more respectable length while he takes one last stroke of your thigh.

“I take it’s safe to restore visual now?” Hoseok asks with a hint of laughter. You’re never going to hear the end of this. “Percival’s about to enter, I do suggest locking the door this time though. In case anyone does make a run for it, we’ll catch them outback. I don’t want you two engaging in this capture if you don’t have too.”  You roll your eyes over Hoseok’s word choice. “Galahad, give Merlin the glasses. I want her input on the scene.”

Seokjin hands off his glasses to you and proceeds to lock you both in.

“Where are they stationed?” You inquire trying to get a full view of the task now at hand.

“The majority including Percival are entering through in the front, and a couple men out back, there was no one there so they must not be expecting a scene. Were there any civilians on site?”

“Just the barman.”

“Okay hang tight.” Hoseok orders.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t be helping?” You ask, wanting to distract yourself from the tension between you and Seokjin.

“Nah, Percival’s got this. Besides I saw your reflection and you’re looking a little flushed Merlin, you doing okay?”

“Shut up Lancelot,” you grumble back in a muffled tone. 

“Was it the alcohol or was it Galahad?”  Luckily Seokjin was too far away to hear Hoseok's last question letting you ignore the comment as the team makes their entrance. Yoongi’s glasses give you the full view of what he sees. Hwang, much to your surprise, actually looks interested in the presence of the new arrivals. They’re obviously waiting for someone to show, but it’s clear that they have no idea who to look for.

“Don’t jump on the arrest so fast.” You direct, looking to gain any positive out of this awkward mission. The reward very much outweighing the risk. “You might be able to get some information first. Come off as a buyer, they might be trying to move the information or the tech.”

“You heard her Percival, get as much as you can before we make the catch.” Hoseok confirms your plan back to the rest of the team.

You watch barely drawing breath as he takes a seat across from the target. Hwang opens up the conversation first, “I didn’t think you would bring so many men just for a demonstration.”

“I prefer not to take any chances.” Yoongi’s response is blase, as he beckons the barman over to give his order.  

Hwang looks uncomfortable, for someone with a product to sell he’s lacking the usual confidence that you would expect to see. “Well this should provide for your needs then. You ask me to come to the thick of their territory and as you can see I’m still here.”

“You are, but how do we know they aren’t waiting to make a strike? Have you ever seen one?” Yoongi pushes, he must be taking great enjoyment out of finally being able to pull one over on the man who’s kept them searching for so long.

“I have, once, but I’ve been able to keep myself hiding for months with this.” He taps something a bud placed in his ear. It must be what’s projecting the image overlay on his face disguising his true features. “Camera’s can’t pick up my face underneath, it’s better than any mask you can buy, as requested.”

“Where did you get the tech?” 

“You-” The man pauses, his brow furrows before his expression shifts to a blank slate. He makes a subtle reach for his jacket pocket, but Yoongi is quicker on the draw. Lunging across the table he grabs the back of Hwang’s neck and smashes his head down on the table.

It’s hard to see the rest of the fighting with only Yoongi’s perspective. You catch flashes of the scene as the target’s men retaliate. There’s a flurry of pint glasses to distract as firearms are drawn. Broken shards scatter the establishment as the bartender flees away from danger towards the back exit with a phone to his ear. 

The altercation ends rather quickly, with those who are still conscious held at gunpoint by Yoongi’s men. It’s a relief to see the target secured, and the tech recovered, but you are left with disgust after having your own work be used against your team. 

Hoseok gives you the all clear to leave, but you're not sure you're ready to face the others just yet. “Could you give me a minute?” You request from Seokjin as he goes to open the door. He gives you a nod along with your hair tie, while you hand back his glasses. 

“Yeah, I’ll just go... fetch our coats.”

“Could you find my glasses too while you’re out there Galahad?” 

He freezes for a fraction of a second before giving you a hesitant response, “Yeah... yeah sure thing.”

What, no funny retort? No rebuttal? You thought calling him by his title would cause him to taunt you a little, but nothing comes of it. “If you can’t find them, the barkeep might have them.” That’s probably why the signal went dark, he must have moved them for safe keeping.

“Great. Just who I wanted to see.” He responds with a forced smile and gritted teeth. 

“If it’s that much of a problem I’ll go get them back myself.”

Seokjin leaves you with a grunt, “No, no, I’ll go see the cowardly Casanova.”

 The second he opens the restroom door you can hear Yoongi shout a request. “Galahad can I leave the team out back in your care? I need to move out and take this thief to Arthur for questioning.” 

Hwang had apparently regained consciousness, and starts arguing in his defence. “I didn’t steal that data! I just set them up with someone to make their tech. They were supposed to come here, they asked for a demonstration here and then stood us up!”   

Yoongi chooses to ignore him while he continues to give orders to Seokjin. “Make sure they drug the civilian, and then toss him behind the bar. Shouldn’t need to do much more than that, it already looks like standard bar brawl damage.” 

“That I can do,” Seokjin responds with satisfaction as he steps out letting the door close between the two of you. It’s amazing how much one flirtatious bartender appears to have got under his skin. 

You take a few minutes to straighten yourself in the mirror. Tying up your hair and closing the zipper on your dress when you spot several smudges of lipstick across your skin. You reach blindly for the paper towel, only to knock your purse to the floor in the process. A couple items roll away. Your pen, to your frustration, makes it all the way into the out of order stall. As tempted you are to leave it, you know it wouldn’t be wise to have something so lethal on the floor of a public bathroom.

With a groaning you crouch down, peering through the couple of inches between the stall door and the floor. Finding the missing item next to a pair of well worn leather shoes. You throw yourself back in shock grabbing your pistol from your overturned clutch, taking aim at the door bearing the sign. With a swift kick you force the stall open, and there passed out on the toilet is the man from the pictures behind the bar, the owner that Seokjin was asking after.    

“Shit.” You lower your gun as you run out of the bathroom calling out for back up. The bar is deserted though, Yoongi’s team has already left, forcing you to head down the long hall to the back door alone. You slow your steps as you reach the end of the corridor, starting to pick up bits of conversation between Seokjin and the imposter. You keep yourself plastered to the wall trying to assess the situation with a narrow view through the window next to the door.

The once friendly bartender points a gun at Seokjin. The other agents, those that were supposed to be keeping an eye on the ‘civilian’ are out of commission, all laying on the ground around him. 

“Call her out here, now.” The barman still holds onto his smile as he makes his demand, but now it only gives you chills as you try to puzzle out the motive behind it.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.” Seokjin keeps his hands at eye level, he’s trying to play the role of innocent bystander but that’ll only get him shot if he’s not careful. 

“The woman with you, that was Merlin, was it not? She designed this tech didn’t she?” He lifts your glasses for Seokjin to see. “And created the original cloaking program. I never should have outsourced it, she saw right through their guise. Since their product was faulty, I’ve been given a new directive.”

“Merlin? You mean like the magician in the old tales? Trust me that woman is nothing of the sort.” Seokjin is actually now chuckling despite having a gun held to him.

“Very well, if you won’t comply. We’ll just have to go retrieve her together.” He gestures Seokjin to the door with his gun. “After you.”

You shift yourself into position behind the door, when Seokjin opens it you remain concealed on the other side. Your fellow agent steps through, moving backwards to keep his eyes on the assailant, allowing him to spot you once he’s inside. You raise a finger to your lips holding your gun to your chest. You can’t let him give off any indication that he’s seen you. 

When Seokjin’s a few feet down the hall the aggressor proceeds to follow, and once his arm crosses the threshold you ram your full weight against the door. There’s a howl of pain as you trap his forearm in the door frame. The gun drops from his hand and hits the floor. Seokjin moves first taking the weapon and then the arm of the man who pointed it at him. You release the door and Seokjin drags the enemy in, throwing him against the wall. There’s a sickening crack as his head meets the concrete behind him.  

Though his body is now lip and eyes in a daze he still chuffs when he spots you, “So nice of you to join us Merlin, we were just talking about you.”

Seokjin pulls back a fist  letting land on the man's face with the full force of a brutal punch, finally sending the culprit into a comatose state.

“You okay?” You ask, noting his unusually rigid composure.

Seokjin nods, straightening his jacket as he lets the imposter fall to the floor. “Looks like I was right, you did catch his attention.” He boasts, with levity returning to his voice. “How did you know to come find me?”

“Found Choi, right where he said he’d be too...” You watch as Seokjin crouches down to retrieve your glasses from the man. “Who is he?”

“I don’t know, but I doubt he works alone.” Seokjin comments while staring at the tattoo that had caught your eye earlier, a flock in the shape of a V. 

...

Yoong makes a return trip, picking up the new captive as well as aiding the unconscious agents. The detainees will be moved to headquarters where they’ll be held for questioning before they’re turned over to the authorities along with a list of transgressions and admissible evidence.

After returning from the bar your base is busier than ever, with everyone following standard procedure and filing reports. There’s hardly room to move, let alone have a private moment with Seokjin to discuss what transpired. A full night and day go by with you only being able to lock eyes with him across the room. As much as you want to talk to him, your duty comes first, ensuring that everyone receives their new orders after the unusual turn of events.

You retreat to your room after a long day of report processing. There are still a few statements left to grab but those can be done tomorrow. The first recordings of the interrogation have come in and you're desperate to hear what Hwang has to say about the tech you found him with. To your delight it’s that exact question which Namjoon poses first.

Hwang rattles off the information, needing little prompting, they must have already cut a deal. “I was contacted  by an anonymous client over a year ago, they asked if I might know of someone who could utilize a cloaking program they had picked up, and apply it to something else. They wanted a mask, a way to hide in plain sight. I offered up a tech company who does some backwater dealings in armaments and weapons, and became the middleman between the two parties until the project was finished.”

“And you have no idea who hired you?” Namjoon asks. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Their wallet was big enough their identity wasn’t a concern, my main contact only referred to himself as V. He called me to the bar last night to provide a final demonstration to prove it worked before his agency made the purchase.”

Seokjin was right, Hwang was just a fence. Which would confirm the other man part of the group who orchestrated the data breach. 

You switch between the video files, hoping to find the other more enlightening. In the very centre of the shot sits the man dubbed as V. He answers none of the questions directed to him. Minutes pass while he remains silent looking directly into the camera with a  jeering grin and narrowed eyes. It’s off putting to say the least, no offer or deal can sway him to spill his knowledge. He looks content almost as if this is exactly where he wants to be. While the interrogators become increasingly frustrated, his smile only grows wider. 

You close out of the recording unable to take the silent stares any more. There’s nothing in his file they’ve attached other than physical attributes.  As you search the empty pages for a scrap of knowledge, a call request comes in from Arthur. You throw on your glasses answering in haste hoping he’ll have something new to share.

“Sorry to bother you so late. It’s been quite a day.” His voice is full of cracks and weariness.

“It’s no problem. I can only imagine after seeing the footage. Any new information on who this man works for? 

“No, nothing.”

“Oh,” Your voice echoes in confusion, “Was there something else you needed? Did you get my report?”

“Yes I did, thorough as usual. But it’s not your report I wanted to discuss.” Namjoon pauses again. ”I received an unusual request from Galahad at the end of his. I wanted to talk it over with you before I gave my answer.”

“Go ahead.” You cringe fearing what he might have said in his statement. 

“I freed him from lock down, and offered a new assignment, but he requested permission to stay and assist you with the vehicle repairs until they were completed. I would permit his extension, but I don’t believe that the answer to this decision rests fully with me, so I’m leaving it to you.”

“Don’t you need him back in the field? We don’t know who this man V is, or who he’s working for.” 

“And it’s doubtful that we’ll learn anything more anytime soon unless he starts answering our questions. There’s little direction in where we can take the investigation right now. I don’t have anything that requires urgent attention, that’s why the choice is yours to make. If you need help or want assistance he’s offering it to you.” 

“Thank you sir,” You’re grateful that he has left you with the final decision on the matter. “Would you mind if I spoke to him first before I decide?”  

“Not at all.”

...

You creep out into the common area, Hoseok is splayed out on the couch while Yoongi’s curled up on the armchair, but Seokjin is nowhere to be found. Did he leave the base taking advantage of his newly acquired freedom?

You doubt you’ll be able to sleep, not with the questions you have running through your head. Looking to keep your mind busy you descend the stairs and enter the passcode to your workshop, only to find the lights already on and Seokjin’s long legs sticking out from under the car. There’s a swear and a clang of a metal tool hitting the cement floor. You hold back a laugh as you approach, choosing instead to surprise him by pulling on the roller bed to tug him out from beneath the car.  

The initial shock on his face quickly changes to a smug grin. “I guess I’ve been caught.”

“Trying to sabotage my work again?”

“No, if you can believe it I’m actually trying to be an aid rather than a hindrance.”

“I’ll alert the media.” You fire back before diving into the more serious topic at hand. “I just got off the line with Arthur. He said you’ve been cleared to return to duty...”

Seokjin’s face falls slightly as he sits up on the rolling platform, “Oh-”

“But you also requested an extension here.”

“I did.” He looks up at you with sincerity, one that’s rarely seen on his face. No deflection to humour. This is just him. 

“I need to know why.” You keep your expression even, not wanting your feelings to influence him in any way.

“I want to help fix the car.”

“I need more of an explanation than that Seokjin. A few days ago you couldn’t wait to get out of here. ” This is it, there’s no room to spare feelings. He’ll tell you he feels guilty, or that he feels sorry for you, leaving you to send him on his way and that will be the end of this trial. 

“I don’t want things to go back to the way they were before. I like working with you, being here with you. You're not afraid to let me know when I’ve crossed the line.”

“So what, you just want to use me to keep you in check? I’m not here to fix you Seokjin.” You start to back away ready to send word to Namjoon that he’s free to assign him elsewhere when Seokjin grabs your hand, he rises from his spot on the floor in a rush to stand between you and the door. 

“That’s not what I meant. You make me want to be better.”

You pull yourself from his grip backing into the side of the car, “And after you’ve used me to better yourself, what then? You’ll just move on to your next project?” 

“No, fuck... I don’t know how else I can say it other than I like you Merlin. You aren’t the plan, you’re the objective.” He pauses for a moment, watching as his words sink in to you. “If you’re not interested in what I want to offer... I get it, but stop being so blind when it comes to yourself!” 

You fall still as you hear his confession, but you’re not ready to believe or condemn his words just yet. “If that’s the case why did you mock me at the bar?” Your voice wavers as you question him. “Why didn’t you say something?” 

“I was going to, but I didn’t think you would appreciate a drunken confession. You wanted a serious conversation, here it is. I want to stay here with you. Even if you’re not interested in a relationship, I respect that, but I still think we could both benefit from working together.”

He’s right, you might have believed him right then, but later, once the effects of the alcohol had worn off you would’ve thought it another game of his. You shift against the car embarrassed by your misreading of his motives, but pleased to see that they fall in line with your own.

“I wouldn’t say that I wasn’t interested...” You mumble your own confession carefully as he shifts in closer to his mouth catching a grin when he hears your words. “But staying would put you in a problematic position when you’re required to follow my orders. If we’re to continue down this path there wouldn’t be an equal power dynamic.”

“Good.” he mutters along with a chuckle. “Is that your only objection?”

“Yes, but-”

“Arthur released me from under your command. Any order you give will be discretionary.” 

“Discretionary orders?” You scoff. “You can barely follow mandatory orders.”

“Yes but it solves your problem, doesn't it? This way you can be sure that I will only follow an order if I want to.” He leans in placing his hands on either side of you on the hood of the car. “So Merlin, do you want me to stay?”

“Yes...”

“Do you want to continue what we started yesterday?” 

You nod biting your lip at the thought of it.

“Then I await your orders.” He stands still not moving an inch while you remain caged between his arms and caught in his eyes.

“Let’s be clear on something first,” You state, trying not to focus on how close his lips are or how soft they’ll feel when they touch your skin.“I don’t want you to think you are in any way saving me.”

“I am well aware of that now. I finally realise I need you to save me.”

“From what?” You can’t help but laugh at his conclusion.

“My impulsive actions.” He lifts you onto the car just like he lifted you onto the bathroom counter. “My runaway mouth.” He closes the distance for a swift kiss. “And my very unprofessional desires.” His fingers flirt with the bottom of your shirt taking up residence underneath the garment against the skin of your waist. 

“Yet you combat every effort when someone tries to restrain those tendencies,” You scold with a smile.

“You told me yourself I don’t go down easily... If you want to put me in my place you’re going to be more commanding.”

“And you would like that?” You ask in disbelief.  

“Why don’t you find out...” 

“Seokjin I-I don’t know if I-” You start to panic, stammering at the thought of going too far and becoming what others have thought of you before, “I don’t want you to hate...”

“If I need to stop I’ll tell you to brake. But right now I really want you to take the wheel, and put your foot down. No detours, just floor it.” He tightens his hold on you leaning in next to your ear with a growl. “Don’t get shy on me now. Give me your orders.” 

The cheek in his tone at last sets off the need for retaliation in you, evoking a desire to finally see him begging you for more. He’s never backed away from you, leaving you with no reason to believe he’ll do so now. If this is what he wants you’ll be happy to try and make him submit. “You can start with losing this.” You tug on his grease stained shirt. “And these too.” Dragging your finger over the waist of his jeans. 

He strips looking eager to play along. Leaving him in a pair of black boxers clinging to his swelling girth. “Like what you see?”

“You’ll do.” You snicker back at him. You take the back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss, as he moves to hold your lower back. He finds his way between your thighs once again but this time there’s nothing to stop you both from going further. 

“Do you want to take those off?” You brush your hands on the elastic of his underwear.

“Yes.” His answer is short and sweet, with nothing to misinterpret. You could get used to this side of him.

“Then you’ll have to do something for me first.” You shift your pants down kicking them to the floor. Taking one last kiss of Seokjin’s lips before pressing his shoulders down to make his mouth level with your hips. The grin he gives is something to revel in, finally seeing it as a sign of desire rather than a farce.

He pulls your underwear to the side. The first lick is short and sweet causing you to flinch from the flick of his tongue. The second he takes care in following the line of your slit but he doesn’t pull away at the end, instead he latches on to your clit taking deep drags which pull you under in an instant. 

Your hand reaches out to grip his hair needing something to hold on to and hold him back with if necessary, but once your fingers tug at Seokjin’s locks he moans into your flesh. His hands pull you closer to the edge of the car allowing him to bury himself even deeper.    

He slowly gains a rhythm with his tongue and lips, but every time you come close, when your breathing becomes shallow he starts to pull back. He’s teasing you, clearly goading you to become more strict with your desires. 

“No more games Seokjin. If you can’t get me there in the next minute, I promise you’ll regret it.”

He pulls away for a moment to draw breath while giving you a taunt. “I’d like to see that.” 

He’s about to return to his task when you push him back, no longer giving him the chance at redemption. You point to a straight back chair facing away from you , “Sit down, with your head forward.” 

He does as you ask with a smile still stuck to the corner of his mouth. You slide off the car and move behind him towards your work desk, stripping off your shirt, and undergarments as you stray from his line of sight. Grabbing something from the inventory closet before you return to him, still hiding from his gaze .

He tries to look back at you but you put a stop to that. “Did I say you could look around?”

“No ma’am.” He chuckles back.

“Since you like games so much I thought of one to play. Give me your hand, and tell me what I put in it without looking.”

“I don’t see what this has to do with-” You cut off his complaint quickly by placing the metal object in his hand reaching out behind him. “Handcuffs?” Seokjin questions with surprise. “I stand corrected, this seems like a fun game.” 

“Put them on,” you order. He complies instantly, letting you check the tightness once he’s done. “Safey’s there if you need it. Just tell me to brake.”

“Oh no, I’m quite comfortable thank you.” He grins proudly as if this is what he was hoping for all along.

As you move in front of him finally gracing him with your nude form he stares back at you dumbfounded. You reach out to the corner of his mouth, which sits agape, wiping at the edge of his lips with your thumb. “Sorry I thought I spotted some drool.” Seokjin smiles at your mimicry and jab, but he has no words to follow with.

You kneel down in front of him, your hands trailing up to reach for his boxers. “May I?”

“Please do.”

You tug them down releasing his erection from the confines of the fabric. You're careful not to touch him, not wishing to give any satisfaction or stimulation. Once they’re pulled down to his ankles you move to the uninstalled backseat of the car sitting right across from him. Seokjin furrows his brow in confusion. 

“Something wrong?” You prompt hoping to have him admit that he wants you to return to him.

“No, just admiring the view.” 

“Really?” You persist in teasing him a little more, “Because it looks like you need something.”

“Only to know the next step in this game of yours.”

“You get to watch while I play.” You lay back on the car bench resting your feet on the soft leather. Your hand moving down between your legs picking up where Seokjin left off, with a slow rub to your crest.

“That seems unfair.” He flexes his arms, testing the cuffs as he watches you. 

“That’s what happens when you don’t read the instructions, I get to make the rules.” He lets out a groan as you close your eyes ready to concentrate on your own pleasure. You know you’re wet enough already but for good measure and Seokjin’s torturous show you prep your fingers in your mouth before slipping the tip of your index finger inside yourself. 

There’s a small whine from Seokjin, you look over to him, your eyes take a moment to focus on his face, his teeth digging into his now swollen bottom lip. “Let me help you, please.”

“That’s not how punishments work Seokjin. You had your chance, and you disobeyed.”

Giving him a side profile allows your thigh to hide the sight of your fingers dipping in. The sounds though, those are his to enjoy. You continue to satisfy yourself for a while longer enjoying the little jots of pleasure you can give yourself and Seokjin’s moan every time you twitch. It’s hard not to pay attention and give in to returning to him. With his cock pulsing against his leg with a drop of precum growing at the tip. His lip must be sore with how hard he’s biting down. 

Unable to ignore his whimpers any longer you get up from the leather bench. You present your fingers to his mouth damp from your ministrations. You don’t even get the chance to ask before he takes them into his mouth and licks them clean. When you pull them from his lips, he beams back at you. “Was that attentive enough for you?” 

“Very...” You commend him, straddling his legs facing him as you lower yourself. Your hand grips his cock while the other rests on his shoulder balancing yourself as you guide him inside. 

He gasps out a swear along with your real name as you sink down fully onto his lap. You lean into him letting your chest push against his as you rise and fall on his shaft. Pressing and grinding yourself against his seated form has him throbbing inside of you. He’s quickly become a breathy mess beneath you, a sheen of sweat covers his forehead, with even more dripping down his pecs. 

Your pace increases in speed as you edge closer to your climax. The warmth begins to spread to your extremities as you continue to thrust down. When the wave finally washes over you can barely move. “Fuck-” You whisper along with a plea. “Don’t you dare come yet.” You collapse against him riding it out, clenching while Jin groans.

“Take the cuffs off.” His moaning request is impossible to deny. As fun as it was to see him at your mercy you long to have his hands back on you. 

You reach for the restraints behind his back, with a quick press of a hidden release he’s free.  Wasting no time he grabs you, helping your legs to wrap around his waist. Positioning you securely against him, he rises to move two steps required in order to ram you back down onto the car bench. 

He pulls one leg up and over his shoulder while he holds the other level with his hip. Despite your sensitivity, he’s relentless in his thrusts, pushing you directly from the wave you just finished and on to the next. 

He’s so close to his end, his muscles tense, his face stern with a clenched jaw, it takes a moment for you to realize he’s waiting for your permission. He’s holding back until you give him the okay. “You can come Seokjin.” Upon hearing this his thrusts suddenly hit harder forcing you to cry out. “Fuck, please come.”

He shudders with the last impact. Releasing your legs, he lowers himself onto you while his cock still pulses inside. His head rests on the seat beside yours, the hot air from his heavy pants flows down your neck as you lay there trying to catch your own breath.

“I think we might have ruined the new car seat.” You chuckle at him, your laughter restricted by the pressure of his body on your chest. “I should probably order another.”

“And miss out on Hoseok’s expression when he realized what the stains are from?” He nudges closer, kissing the spot behind your ear with his swollen lips. “Not a chance.”

You start to drift beneath him content with the warmth and weight of his form. He gives you a few minutes rest caressing the side of your face with the tip of his finger before he poses an important question. “You’re still okay with me staying here then?”

You turn your head to meet his eyes with a smirk. “Yes, but you still have to earn your keep if you want a stay.” You gesture to the state that he’s left the workshop in, “In addition to cleaning up your mess.” 

Seokjin briefly glances to the tools strewn along the ground and then back at you with a smirk. He then shifts his whole body down, dipping his head back between your legs. “Yes ma’am.”  His tongue takes a long stroke, cupping your cum filled cunt. “Hope you don’t mind if I start here.”

[youareunbearable]

Catch me not having a clue who any of these gods(?) and people are, but still sitting here like, "I ship that pretty one with the gruff one, and that brown haired one with the other(?) gruff one?" without knowing names or what this is except the fanart I see you reblog, because this fandom apparently has lots of nice art

Fam i have no idea what ur talking about or when u sent this im so sorry asfkjhfkjhf but i thiiiinnnkkkk??????? it’s “Heavens Official Blessing” or  Tiān Guān Cì Fú (TGCF for tagging stuff) its originally a chinese gay novel that is soooooooo long by the author  Mo Xiang Tong Xiu (MXTX) who wrote 2 (two?????) other novels that I know of that are also gay historical fantasy but i personally havent actually read TGCF???? im just watching the anime and looking at the wiki and reading fanfics so i have a vague idea whats going on but not really???? so i cant really give a good review BUT i LOVE THE CHARACTERS MXTX WRITES SO MUCH AFHAFKFHKFAKF IM SO SORRY IM SHIT WITH TAGGING SO U HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IM HYPER FIXATING ON BUT

LISTEN

LISTEN 

LISTEN

Pretty one and the gruff one im THINKING is He Xuan (or Ming Yi/ Ming-Xiong/Ming Bro) for the grumpy one and Shi Qingxuan for the pretty one and both are kinda gender fluid?? (more Shi Qingxuan but they both change their forms to be both women and men which is Iconic and the anime put her in the TRANS FLAG COLOUR instead of her canon white and green which is ICONIC) AND THHEYRE SO TRAGIC AND HOT AND I CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT THEIR STORY LIKE AFHDFKJAFDSGS like i want to kinda read the book just for them, the two super minor characters, but i also read somewhere that their story doesn’t really have a clean ending so im also holding back from just getting Emotionally Hurt because im a cancer and i know it’ll wreck me

I think The Two Gruff Idiots are Feng Xin (dark haired gruff boy) and Mu Qing (brown haired gruff boy) and theyre both martial gods and both knew each other for over 800 years and both tried to take care of Actual Human And Heavenly Disaster Xie Lian, failed, and tried to do it again 800 years later but with stupid glasses with moustaches in hopes that Xie Lian cant figure out that they care about him but OOPS Xie Lian does in fact have the braincell of the three of them fajfafjajf 

Heres the link to watch the anime, there are 11 eps rn but it updates every weekend (I dont actually know when but i watch it on sundays) Make sure u have ur ad block on tho lol there is a manga too and the art style is TO DIE FOR like its GORGEOUS but its roughly at the same pace as the anime so eh

Heres where to read the whole thing online, just a warning its BIG AS FUCK like 244? plus extras I think?? 

I’d also recommend MXTX’s other books!

Mo Dao Zu Shi (or Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/ The Untamed/MDZS) is both a Book as well as an Anime (the whole thing is on youtube) , a Live Action which you can watch on Netflix (look up Untamed, also a warning, the plot is a little different from the book and anime cause of uhhh censorship?? also i guess to make it more live drama friendly, my friends an i binged it and really liked it, but some of the fandom doesn’t), a manga which is not finished I think???? idk im not caught up, and a fucking chinese AUDIO DRAMA LIKE BITCH ITS SO WELL DONE but i have to stop listening sometimes cause like there is a difference between watching/reading characters kiss, and then like just hearing them, i get so embarrassed i have to skip the kissing scenes and god forbid i accidentally click on the smutty extras alfjajlfjalfjaljf u can find it on youtube, i linked the one i listen to but i havent finished it and i don’t think it’s all of it, but you can find other episodes/chapters easily

Its about 1 Dumb Yet So Smart gay/bi man (Wei Wuxian) who honestly tries his fucking best, fucks up everything, dies for over a decade, and then is forcefully brought back to life to solve a murder mystery with the guy who has been in Super Gay Love with him since they were teens (Lan Zhan), a bunch of teens Who Are Just Honestly Here For A Good Time And Yet (Lan Juniors, Jin Ling, and Best Boy Ouyang Zizhen ) while badly hiding his real identity from all the people he knows, including his foster brother (Jiang Cheng) who is out for blood and hunting his ass down with a whip and also Lan Zhan who is travelling with him. Also the Killer. There is a killer on the loose and is willing to murder whoever to keep their secrets. Also Nie Huaisang. I adore him and his brother Nie Mingjue, if there is one bitch u gotta remember from this summary it’s this little twink (he and his brother also have a fucking spin off movie from the live action drama THAT I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO FIND A ENGLISH SUB VERSION AND ITS BEEN KILLING ME SINCE I STARTED WATCHING THIS SHOW LAST YEAR. GOOGLE GIVE ME MY FAVOURITE TWINK AND HIS BEAR OF A BROTHER HAVING A FUN FAMILY ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!)

My Personal Current Favourite is Scum Villain’s Self Saving System (SVSSS) which is SOOOOOOO FUNNY Like it’s not as popular cause the comic was discontinued, and the anime looks like its from 2005 with the weird 3D animation but its my current comfort media!!! 

Its basically about a spite reading millennial (Shen Yuan) who died after reading a REALLY awful popular cheesy smut harem novel (think like 50 shade series but worse cause the protag had 600 wives) and was forced into the body of a minor but important villain (the protagonist’s teacher, Shen Qingqiu) from the novel who was fated to die with all his limbs cut off and his eyes and tongue plucked out and is told he has to fix the story so its not trash, he reasonably freaks the fuck out and hugs the protagonists (Luo Binghe) thigh so hard he turns him gay without realizing. Sadly, he does have to make sure certain plot points happen, which fucks him over a lot,  and he thinks Luo Binghe still wants to kill him instead of love him cause he has the Emotional Intelligence of a Rock, but its so funny reading about him handling all the awful tropey stuff, like imagine u have to be a character in My Immortal But With Porn?????? without breaking out of character too much?? I wouldn’t be able to handle it ajhakfkfhjfj He also finds out that he’s not the only transmigrator in the novel either, but it doesn’t matter cause theyre both So Fucking Stupid Collectively but everyone would honestly die for the both of them

warning for this story though, the main relationship is a teacher/student relationship, but nothing happens until the student is in his 20s and also kinda not his student anymore cause he’s running hell??? but if that squicks u out i totally understand and offer you to PLEASE still enjoy some of this media, and instead of the BingQiu ship, I offer you the LiuQiu one, where both me and the main character cry over how a beautiful man/fellow immortal lord loves the main character so much that he literally fought every day for 5 years to be by his side and I Think Thats Beautiful and I kinda like this ship more than the main one tbh PLEASE just look at the art for Liu Qingge because i love him so much, he’s like if you took Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng from MDZS and mashed them into one beautiful man the author is trying to tell me is straight but u take one look at him And Tell Me Otherwise

[audiofictionuk]

New Fiction Podcasts - 18th January

MythCraft The Podcast Audio RPG MythCraft: The Podcast is a tabletop roleplaying Actual Play set in Ancerra, the official MythCraft campaign setting! Join game master Kyle and a host of memorable heroes as they journey through the many wonders of Ancerra and the planes beyond. MythCraft is a new TTRPG universe and game system featuring complex character creation, rich combat, and a huge eon-spanning universe. It is a d20-based system that will feel familiar to experienced role-players and exciting to first-timers. Combat utilizes an Action Point system that seamlessly blends tactical gameplay with a rich narrative experience. MythCraft offers a "medium crunch" experience: it is very customizable and character creation is a detailed process, but you won't need a calculator and spreadsheets to play it. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240115-02 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2295708.rss

PSYCHOPOMPOS: a new mythology Audio Drama After Zeus, the King of Greek Gods, weds a mortal and raises him to divinity; his exiled wife and former queen, Hera, paves a path of violence and vengeance that threatens to destroy all of Olympus, and starts a war for the throne of the gods. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240115-03 RSS: https://www.psychopomp-cast.com/listen?format=rss

Dear Mother Venna Audio Book A story about three sisters who have been left behind in a strange town. Their mother, Venna, has vanished, and no one knows where she's gone. Now they have to look for their mother and look out for each other. However, sisters Show, Ash, and Dust quickly discover that the town of Candle Creek isn't quite as "quiet and quaint" as if seems... https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240115-05 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/dear-mother-venna

Painted Vessels Audio Book Painted Vessels is a gritty yet heartfelt historical fiction series about holding onto faith in Christ through trauma and abuse. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240112-01 RSS: https://media.rss.com/painted-vessels-northwestu/feed.xml

Subterranean Suites & Suspect Serpents with Steph Audio RPG Your host Steph brings two friends together for each episode to take them on an adventure. Following a very popular tabletop dice rolling, role playing game, each installment will be a stand-alone mission. There will be standard world building aspects and many recurring characters with background stories. There will not be 100% rule following and by-the-book game play. Many aspects are improvised and listener discretion is advised. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240118-01 RSS: https://www.s5podcast.com/podcast?format=rss

The Chronicles of Maybe with C. Cleo Creech Audio Book SciFi short stories with a different theme each season. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240116-01 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2256063.rss

Erotica Verbatim Audio Drama Join Sir. Laurent St. Wright, Britain's elder statesman of film and TV, as he sits by a roaring fireplace and reads aloud some of his favorite erotic literature that he's collected over the decades - ably assisted by his beautiful cast. Imagine Letters to Penthouse meets Masterpiece Theatre with a splash of Drunk History. Each episode of this NSFW scripted comedy anthology series is under 10 minutes long so you can either listen to one at a time as a palette cleanser between other podcasts or binge them all at once like a greedy truffle pig. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240116-02 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/eroticaverbatim

The Occurrence in River Oaks Audio Drama The Occurrence in River Oaks is an all new, entirely voice acted sci-fi horror audio drama from writer/director Nikki Durbin. Take an original, terrifying journey through one very long day in the titular small town, as heard through the viewpoint of the local law enforcement personnel; specifically, Olivia, the woman running the dispatch radio at the Sheriff’s office, as she tries to hold everything together when her entire world is falling apart. As the several officers under her command come face to face with a very unexpected threat, and as Olivia tries to navigate a dangerous and otherworldly creature’s arrival, everything slowly begins to fall apart over the course of 8 grueling episodes. No one is safe, and as the world becomes very small and extremely dangerous for the characters, they must do everything in their power to protect not only the citizens of River Oaks, but the entire world. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240117-01 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/TheOccurrenceInRiverOaks/feed.xml

Close Your Eyes Audio Drama A man’s search for his missing brother leads him to join a mysterious cult. A mind-bending mystery/thriller from Cryptic Radio. Fiction. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240117-02 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/oasistransmitting/feed.xml

Adventures Alcove Audio RPG Adventures Alcove' is a Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) podcast that immerses listeners in a unique, homebrewed world. With a focus on storytelling and creativity, this podcast brings together friends to explore vast and imaginative landscapes. The setting is meticulously crafted, blending monsters from various editions of D&D to enrich the experience. Each season promises a new journey, inviting listeners to delve deep into the hosts' greatest imaginations. The show not only celebrates the fun and adventure inherent in D&D but also encourages audience participation and engagement. 'Adventures Alcove' is more than a podcast; it's a reminder that adventure awaits! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240117-03 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/6593208a156a05001652ef36

[unironicduncanstan]

Total Drama Music Camp AU - playlist / performance ideas

here she is,,,, the cursed secret texts,,,,, the total drama music camp playlist , along with some short explanations below, cringe city bitch (most of these are just covers that i feel are the closest to the performance Style id imagine for these characters and not necessarily the exact sound but u feel me) also i went back and tagged my previous posts abt this concept with “td music camp au” so if you dont know what the helling fuck im talking abt plz have a gander xoxo

link: youtube .com/playlist?list=PL-bPcaq3ZK2L682RHPauxrsFIPvGJdsiM (space is there so tumblr hopefully doesnt nerf me from the tag 🥺 )

Some Nights - ok so first weeks challenge. i feel like chris would just want them to all collab together on one huge group performance. kinda like on the first day of school when they make you do the ‘get to know you’ tests. idk exactly who would sing what parts tho bc there are so many so let your imagination run wild !!

Hand crushed by a mallet - ok. OKYAY. im a home of sexual. but this is a Cody, Trent, Tyler, Harold and Izzy song. Cody is on vocals (especially the rap in this version shdofsgjsk), Trent is on guitar and some vocals (does some back and forth with him during the rap), Tyler is on drums (and does that one tiny background screamy bit towards the end), Izzy and Harold are joined up on creating the background track and DJing the whole thing. the distortion/choppy part at the end is izzy LIVE going ape on the audio level sliders. its one of the most energetic performances of the whole series and surprises everyone including the group themselves

Misery Business - Duncan on vocals and guitar, Geoff on drums, Trent also on guitar and maybe some backup vocals. you all know i chose that bc i love associating mgk with duncan but. i rly like this idea actually ;;

Paparazzi - ezekiel. idk who the fuck else except maybe justin bc he’d dance that shit to death. i will not apologize thats Him and its fire but you may write and send any formal complaints to my po box. ill roll a blunt with them,

Pom Pom - Lindsay, Heather, Sadie+Katie, and Izzy. Lindsay and Heather are on vocals, sharing the chorus and each getting a solo verse, and ofc izzy does the weird rap part towards the end, and most of the background track. they all thought they were stuck with izzy but izzy is stuck with these preps. Sadie and Katie are on backup vocals, but their role in this one is mostly dancing and adding ✨ stage presence. 

Maps - Trent is on the guitar and male vocals while Courtney is on the female vocals (the ~top two performers~ gotta have a song together eventually right), DJ on drums, Bridgette on piano. Heather, Lindsay, Justin, and Leshawna are dancers bc lbr the dance from the video is pretty good for a group number

CREEPER? AW MAN - ok this one. is kind of a joke but wouldnt it be rly hilarious if cody, ezekiel, and harold did this one mostly for fun and the whole second part with the existential breakdown was just. used with on stage satire to make fun of chris for being old or smth. like would they suffer that week, yes, would it be worth it, Y E S, 

Shatter me - Eva, Courtney, Gwen, Beth. QwQ Eva’s on vocals for the first time and rocks it, Courtney is on violin, Gwen on drums, and Beth uses her instruments to make a background track before the performance so she can do stage tech/DJ stuff. oh also justin should be on this one bc i want. those costumes from t he vi deo, 

Chop suey - Lindsay and Courtney on vocals (LMAOSJFkSF listen. we love contrast queens that stun the crowd), Duncan on guitar, Eva on drums (and a lot of background screaming to help the Vibe Tee Em)

Unwritten - Leshawna and Trent? ik its a weird combo but i think they’d kill this

Shake it - GEOFF LMFAOGHJKgjfdG

White Winter Hymnal - Lindsay as Kirstie, Noah probably as Avi even tho we all know he can’t sing that fuckgin low. and idk my other 3 bros as Cody, Tyler and Ezekiel. truly iconique group

Forget me too - QWQ DUNCAN AND COURTNEY ,,,,,,,,,,,, i dont apoloigze for the second mgk = duncan pick, anyways duncans also on guitar, gwen on drums (there is no love triangle in this au btw. the only reason theyre singing this song is bc of the regular ~tension~ that u see in like tdi but its just for the stage mostly. as soon as the songs over they would hug and cheer abt it)

Simple and Clean - Bridgette on singing, Gwen on piano, DJ on drums, Beth on general stage stuff + creates the backtrack with Bridgette's harmonies overlayed

Mr. Brightside - OWEN ON THE BRASS YES BBY ITS HIS TIME 2 FUCKIENG SHINE, Geoff on drums, Gwen begrudgingly on piano, Noah is on vocals and they have to literally bribe him with everything they HAVE to get him to try and sing this way. and he does it and it aint too shabby but he will never do it again

Domino - Leshawna on vocals (again these choices are all, based on general vibe and style and not necessarily voice, this is a tiny white girl singing,), Tyler on drums, Duncan on guitar. energy to the max babey the speakers are gonna blow the fuck out on this one

Starships - KATIE AND SADIE GET TO BE A MAIN DUO !!! they alternate lines , with courtney on violin, izzy on that synthy backtrack, and justin is involved in this one bc id change just a couple of things abt the music video costumes for these characters but like. [grabby hands] gimme

Bulletproof - ezekiel vibes.....? izzy and harold get to team up again for the backtrack. weird kids only karaoke night

The Wolves And The Ravens - 🥺 a geoff and bridgette songk,,,,, 

Never Enough Praying (Mashup) - Courtney on Praying, Heather on Never Enough, Beth and Izzy end up together on the background stuff and make a rly nice track actually

Gasoline - bitch. you know what im gonna say but duncans on vocals, Tyler on guitar, Geoff on drums, Ezekiels on track

Better not wake the baby - Noah gets to sing a song that actually matches his style a tiny bit better lol, DJ on drums, Trent on guitar, and i feel like beth is the only one with any hope of figuring out the accordion keyboard thing thats in the background

This is Gospel - Gwen on piano and Trent on vocals. really the music video is the most important part for me bc i think a challenge where oyu have to sing a really intense emotional song while chris gets to dump shit down on your head from the ceiling of the stage. sounds perfect,

Wildest Dreams - codys on vocals bc god i am Obsessed with this cover being a bisexuality / coming out song . everybody thinks hes just regular simping and being his usual fuccboi self when he chooses this song till he gets to those Very Intentionally Unchanged Pronouns that he sings a little too enthusiastically hhhshHDSHHHSDH , also DJ on drums and Tyler on guitar

Happier - Bridgette solo ! 

Stay - Courtney on guitar and vocals, Dj and Harold are on the hand drum shit. once again i live for the ‘unlikely group actually works together and rocks it’ stuff. courtney as always has talent and enjoys what she does but harold and dj kind of steal the show with how in sync and energetic they are abt it lmfaodghd