#god im like shaking thinking about all of the things that i worry about constantly

[caffeinatedopossum]

This ^^

In my experience with certain fears, aversions, disgusts, etc, if anyone implies the things I'm most afraid I secretly want are real things that I actually secrectly want, that makes them way way worse.

For example, I frequently get caught up in intrusive thoughts about people I love dying. I don't want them to die but I worry that I do, sometimes for hours on end, torturing myself with scenarios of things that would make anyone feel sick. I don't have control over this.

If another person (that is, not my intrusive thoughts) tells me that maybe I have these thoughts because I DO secretly want them to die and I shouldn't be around them because I'm a danger to them or something, I'm pretty sure I would genuinely break. And hopefully ya'll can see how fucked up of a thing that is to do too.

i am once again asking people i know to do actual research on OCD and what it is b/c i saw someone equating POCD to actual predatory shit recently and i think im going to break out of my enclosure . OCD is not about “subconscious desires” it’s about fear. fears, aversions and repulsions, both subconscious and conscious. OCD forces you to obsess over things that make you anxious, scared, uncomfortable, or disgusted. possibilities (about yourself, your future, your loved ones and their futures, etc) that would give you nightmares if you considered them for too long.  literally the second you start thinking OCD may be about “subconscious desires” you have lost. you made an immediate left turn when you were supposed to make a right and now you’re on a completely different road. this applies to all forms of OCD by the way, even the most “disgusting”, taboo or “disturbing”. whichever form of OCD you’re thinking may be an exception to this rule, is not an exception. b/c there is none

[agirlwithglam]

becoming selfish is the best thing i ever did.

✧*. * · ~ thewizardliz 💖🕯

💖 stop going into arguments with people who are not willing to listen. it is completely useless. if your boundaries were crossed, and the other person is not willing to say "im sorry for doing that, i won't do it again", then conversation over. its done. its not worth your time or energy.

🕯prioritise your own needs and wants. fill your own cup! are you okay? are you whole? if you don't want to do something, dont do it. whatever you want, comes first.

💖 stop being always available and trying to save everyone. if you keep on being there for people- again and again and again, you are letting people use you. people will only reach out to you if they have problems or they need help. but what about when everything is going good? then what? do they come to you? you are showing them that they can always come to you and you will always be there but that shouldn't be the case. be able to say "i dont want to listen to your problems today. i have enough of my own problems and goals to worry about." the only reason they come is because YOU allow them to come.

you ask yourself why does anyone not make sure i am ok? thats because YOU do not make sure you're okay. remember that you cannot save everyone. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO SAVE EVERYONE.

🕯sometimes god gives you situations so you can grow. also if you are constantly trying to step in for God to help and save everyone, you may also be sabotaging God's plan. people give certain problems/ situations in their life because God gives it to them so they can grow wiser and better! why are you trying to save them? its not your responsibility.

💖 be okay with people misunderstanding you. if you have a goal or a dream in your life, NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO UNDERSTAND YOU. people come from different households, religions, schools, etc. they will not understand you or have the same mindset/ heart as you. be OKAY with people not understanding you. they are not you.

"oh why did they hurt me/ treat me like that, i would never do that to them" honey, they're not you. they don't have the same personality or heart as you. if you're constantly gonna go through life thinking that everyone has the same heart as you, you will be hurt. i have done that so often thinking that i'm a good friend to them so they will do the same back, its not always true. you will be hurt. people are just different. and thats okay! let them be.

🕯realise that you can only change yourself. stop trying to change people. they will not change unless they are willing to. our human nature is comfort- humans love comfort. in order to change, it takes going through discomfort. it takes strength. some people are completely oblivious to themselves- they think that everything is perfect and nothing is wrong with them, etc. and yk what? let them be. you cannot change them. but you can change yourself. and if you do not want to change, you're not going to change. no one can force you to change unless you want to. by trying to change others and help them become their best version, you're wasting your energy to become YOUR best version and to create your dream life!

💖 stop needing people to validate your self worth. "i dont need anyone to tell me how good i am. i dont need anyone to tell me how beautiful i am or smart i am. because i see those qualities in myself already." KNOW who you are. if you get a compliment, say thankyou, be grateful. but don't crave it. be okay with not receiving it and not needing it because you already know that you're all that. if you need that compliment or words from other people, then they are basically in charge of you because their opinion can change your reality entirely and shake you. when YOU are the one that always creates your own reality! be strong in your ownself otherwise you'll be like their little puppet. know that you know what? im amazing. i've been through so much stuff in life but i'm still coming out strong and i'm still standing.

🕯treat yourself as your own best friend. talk to yourself! in her video, liz said that she talks to herself before bed and tells herself about her day. (for that i recommend videoing yourself! its so much fun) or when she's stressed she says to herself why are you feeling stressed? what exactly are you feeling? and then she tells herself and talks to herself. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. hype yourself up in your mind! comfort yourself, have a conversation, etc. give the advice to yourself. go on dates with yourself, hug yourself, love yourself.

💖 less chasing, more attracting. being feminine basically means letting it flow and go. being calm and at peace. being relaxed because you know that you attract all your blessings. when you're not desperately looking for things, or chasing after things, then your whole. your energy is whole. when the energy of desperation is gone, then you can attract everything you want into your life.

🕯only add great people to your life. make sure that whoever you date, are friends with, hang around- they need to add value to your life. its not only in terms of money, its also in terms of are you making me happy? are you reciprocating my energy? people that are always negative or always complaining, do not allow them into your life. do not be friends with people who are being miserable then complain about being miserable but don't do anything about it.

💖 stop seeking other people's permission to do whats best for you. you don't need someone to say "you can do it!" because you know you can. be independent- liz doesn't need to ask anyone for money because she is already making her own money. she is doing everything for herself. she has everything she need to support herself and people she loves.

like how cocky are you to think that you know be better than i know myself? lol. you have not been through what i have been through. you have not lived my life and yet you're here deciding whats good for me and what i should be doing? um, no thanks! xoxo.

[pupyuj]

im ngl overstimulated yujin has me stuttering

combining these two asks cuz why not! anyways atp i’m looking like i genuinely believe yujin has a dick bcs i almost never write about yuj w a cooch anymore (yuj cooch enthusiasts i will deliver soon do NAWT worry) but listen … she does have a dick and i know bcs she’s constantly slamming it inside m—[STATIC]

(p.s. i think it’s way too obvious that i enjoyed this a lot pls i loooveee yujin sm don’t look at me like thatttt)

we all agree that yujin has crazy stamina and even if she’s exhausted, the feeling of being inside you is just too good that she never really pulls out after the two of you finish :(( if she could, baby would be inside you all the time really! you always wondered how much yujin could take before she’s crying and pleading for mercy… it’s about time that you’re the one who has her whimpering and getting all limp after all! 😵‍💫

binding her to a soft, comfortable chair and letting her keep at least her shirt on bcs you’re not gonna lie, your shirt looked way too good on her 😍 you’d start slow with a cute little handjob and for a while it’d look like just another friday night of good fucking for the two of you but yujin notices what you were up to when she was three orgasms deep and you still haven’t taken her dick down your throat or inside you! i’d love to think that she’d start squirming! yuj is used to being the one who does all the teasing and the cruel ‘make her cry all night by pulling eight orgasms out of her in a matter of an hour’ game—not the other way around!

baby’s never been overstimulated… a part of her would be excited, but mostly she’d be terrified bcs what if she embarrasses herself! :(( her pride wouldn’t let her go down without a fight.. she’d try to get control but you wouldn’t budge of course.. this was a once in a blue moon opportunity! you have to see yujin beg helplessly for you to stop 🥺🥺

“hm.. don’t dry out so quick, baby… you still have to fill me up, remember?” you’d whisper in her ear while tears well up in her eyes after her sixth orgasm 🫣 her legs shaking, dick twitching in your hand… i love to think about how she’d bite her lip to not be too loud but ending up failing and cutting her lip on the process oh the poor girl 💔 kissing down her neck and whispering the nastiest, most degrading things in her while you gear her up for another climax… yujin really doesn’t know if she should be turned on or humiliated but either way, one of those feelings was the one making her cum so—

ah it’d be soooo messy too?:!;!/&,& your entire hand would be drenched with her cum and every time you lick it up it only makes yujin’s dick go stiff again,, it’s impressive really! how she’s still able to keep cumming so much 😵‍💫 “good puppy, you just know what mommy wants from you, huh?” oh yujinnie would go insane 🤤🤤 you’d think she’d start resisting and acting all bratty but nooo puppy loves to get praised! sure she hated the humiliating aspect of it all (…or did she?) but one “good girl” and her brain just goes all dumb for you 🥺💕

seeing her pretty, shiny eyes all glossed up with tears once you decided to have a taste of her cum directly from the source… god you’d only have her tip in your mouth and she’d already be thrashing around and shaking her head bcs yujinnie was so sensitive at that point :(( sobbing pathetically and moaning at the pleasure at the same time.. loving how she was so obviously torn between wanting to break free of her restraints to stop you or to finish what you started and fuck you to oblivion… yujinnie will get her fun later but right now, it was time for yours 🥰

taking in all of her dick down your throat in one fell swoop and yujin’s screaming in the air with her eyes nearly rolled back 😵‍💫 ugh the sight of her dick disappearing inside your mouth flawlessy every now and again only made things worse.. she has to fuck you and breed you until she was empty :(( it wouldn’t take long for her to cum again.. but at least this time not a drop was wasted! you made sure to swallow it all, just how she liked to see it 🤭 it would be her eleventh orgasm and poor puppy would be so tired ☹️ chest heaving up and down, sobbing softly while still struggling to break free… and now you feel bad! 😔

“i know, baby.. sorry i went overboard, i know…” you’d whisper while spooning her on your bed, making up for all your meanness with your awesome aftercare 🥺 yujinnie would be so cute all cuddled up to your side, face buried in your chest where it was warm… and you’d think that she would be too tired to even keep her eyes open but nope! the second you let down your guard, yujin would be rolling on top of you and pinnjng your hands above your head, grinning down at you like the sick pervert that was 🤭🤭

“your turn. make daddy happy now.”

don’t you just love switches?? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[archangeldyke-all]

Anon may not be flirting but I am tf, my partner and I are tryna kiss you Angel 😏 consensually ofc

nah im jp (or am i~) but this leads me into my ask

reader in a throuple with ran and sevika

i read 'throuple with ran and sev' and i passed out and died and was resurrected by sappho herself to make this happen

men and minors dni

okay but imagine you walk into the last drop and ran and sev have been dating for a bit and they see you and come up to you and ran's like 'hey, me and my gf saw you from across the bar and we really dig your vibe' lasjdf;laksjdf;lkj i'd pass out

you and ran would constantly be playing practical jokes on sevika. one of you distracting her with kisses while the other ties her shoelaces together, or both of you answering to each other's names when she calls.

you and sevika would tease ran sexually all. the. time. they're a little feral. so you and sevika kissing in front of them, or groping each other, or even just fondling each other, it drives ran fucking crazy.

sevika and ran would tease you non fucking stop. about everything. the way you chew, if you mispronounce words, sometimes even the way you breathe. you just roll your eyes and bite back the smile threatening to pull up your lips at the sound of your lovers' laughs.

(of course, if anyone else tries to poke fun at you in the same way, they better be prepared for Two Death Glares from your gf and partner-- and then maybe actual death ajsal;sdjlk)

hng, sevika making you and ran make out in bed while she watches?

and you guys get so into it you kinda forget sev's even there until she rips you guys apart and pins one of you to the bed to fuck you, making the other ride their face??

fuckkkkk... getting spitroasted by the two of them

they'd be so into making a mess of you. a lot of times, sex is just sevika and ran competing to see who can make you moan louder.

sevika walking between the two of you, one of her hands in each of your back pockets, a smirk on her lips

you and ran getting into mischief together, then running to your Scary Girlfriend to protect you when someone calls you out on it.

of course, sevika intimidates the fuck outta whoever you pissed off, but then once they leave she just rolls her eyes and glares at the two of you giggling.

constant bickering between sevika and ran because they're both so strong-headed and stubborn. not actual arguments, just little spats and petty disagreements that you have to settle.(you usually settle it by just flashing the two of them. it shuts them both up pretty quickly)

ran and sev bonding over their mech arms and you feel left out :( asking them to chop one of your limbs off so you can fit in and they just laugh at you

having to have a california king sized bed to comfortably fit the three of you (and sevika's giant ass)

ran does all the finances in the house. sevika does the cooking, you do the chores.

but small things like dishes and laundry-- that's on a rotating schedule. (ran always tries to get out of their chores. bribing you and sev with head or money or snacks. sevika will catch you doing laundry on ran's day and snort, 'they got to you, huh?' she asks. you nod. 'i don't think they've done laundry in two weeks now.' she says, shaking her head with a fond smile.)

you and ran make sevika laugh more, you guys make her a whole lot happier. you and sevika bring out ran's wild side, they feel safe enough around the two of you to be completely wild and feral. and, of course, ran and sevika let you be as unapologeticly yourself, not worried about anyone's reaction when you've got two of the strongest mfs in zaun by your side.

god i have a million thoughts about this.

also! be sure to check out @abitohoney's submit! the newest part is a ran/sev/reader threesome. it's so fucking good and hot holy fuck.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

[braimrotting]

im so glad the crows got fed yesterday. i love making my severely paranoid old man even more paranoid and traumatised.

just the little feeling in the back of his mind questioning all his childrens actions - are these my kids? cc!phil is far too sure of himself and his recognition of the eggs for it to impact too much but even little mentions is enough to show that theres more trauma to give!

i just wanna say i knew it was sus that the code only took pictures of phils base and no one elses. they had it planned to mimic chay + lulah for days. im trying so hard to think of why tho. base level, it seems obvious bc maybe they needed 2 codes are these 2 spend all their time together when awake. additionally they were 100% not going to attend the dinner so the codes didnt have to worry about them showing up and ruining the plan.

but they had such barebones knowledge of how the eggs act? surely they mustve known they would be found out quickly (i could maybe get them not expecting phil to figure them out in 1 minute tho) UNLESS they were relying on phil not assuming they were imposters bc this situation had never happened before. that seems like a pretty big risk but the only other thing i can think of is them knowing that phil is somewhat isolated and would not go around telling everyone - which was true bc he only told fit + forever.

the codes were acting so wrong i was genuinely shaking while watching it live. chayanne was taking off his armour + following too close to phil + hitting phil + most importantly not listening to him. tallulah was shaking her maracas constantly + not talking to phil + she also was not listening to him and running away. it was so uncanny and genuinely put me on edge especially when he went back to check their beds and they were still there. they are the most well-behaved eggs and follow phil so diligently, i find it strange the codes didnt look into their personalities at all - i wonder if they got their information from the federation status updates on the eggs and that was it. (this would actually explain why the update came at all actually)

anyways loved the Horrors getting to phil. so unexpected bc everyone was convinced it was going to be a canditates attack - phil was prepping support items. though there was crazy foreshadowing with him walking in and saying it looked like a boss battle. ALSO i saw someone say he may have been targeted for his complete refusal of the federation by not voting at all. extra layer of angst bc he did that to protect the eggs + make sure no one could use them against him.

god i need phil to talk to the order ! he has so much info + theories. whats so wrong w a lil crow wanting the blorbo to be hyper vigilant and a paranoid wreck

[rrat-king]

BIRD!2!3!2! truly am obsessed with how you think about trackerbees gnawing at all the headcannons!!!!!! yes they breakup!! yes they are each other’s person!! yes they can be dysfunctional but still be there when it’s important and matters!!!!!

and i totally agree on the kink thing like i actually think kristen would find the whole being loved so deeply more important than sexual stuff i think that’s just the energy younger ppl have when they don’t know it all yet but i think she would come around and be like both are good!! would prefer the absolute like tearing down walls of allowing herself to be loved

they both scream casual intimacy in such an incredible way that it’s what makes me obsessed like that fiercely loving each other. incredible.

the way kristen dies multiple times but death only truly shakes her when tracker is threatened to be killed like ohhhhhh. oh. finding your person who knows you when you don’t know how to find yourself since you’ve constantly been given a mantle. someone who sees past you being this saint and sees you as human and takes you in their arms.

and in the reverse tracker having someone fight for her!!!! she’s always had jawbone they’ve had each other forever especially in terms of family and especially lycanthropy but having someone closer to her age and making her feel so deeply valued. her being worried abt not going on their trip because kristen didn’t want her there, fearing about being left behind and kristen never wanting to leave herself or lose her.

general themes of them refusing to abandon one another makes me feel very unnormal.

there is truly a devastating lack of deep exploration of their complications. especially when people think about them breaking up they tend to make one or the other a villain but they aren’t doing anything malicious!! like so many of their faults come from them wanting to care so much they forget about themselves.

like yeah kristen withholding information because she was scared to discuss conflict and lose her. having her family never talk about the ‘bad’ just avoiding it. parallels to tracker full on taking part in kristen’s church to stay close and feel helpful. offering to stay there if she didn’t go on the trip- going as far to neglect her own religion

sorry for the word vomit but your mind influences me greatly <3

literally never apologize for this becuase yes you understand exactly what im trying to say and god you word it better than i ever could!! they are complicated and weird but also! they are just kids! they make mistakes and weird choices but its not just one persons fault. also. the thing about death is so real and true and i adore you mind and the way you think about things just. anon beloved

[blood-and-wine-ao3]

Chapter 4 link!

TW: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, SUFFOCATION/CHOKING

chapter text below the cut

Days passed, and Tommy returned to work to provide for the two while Wilbur rested his wounds and desperately tried to work out a way to communicate with Clementine to no avail.

Tommy was worried, though.

Every day before work, Tommy would make Wilbur both lunch and dinner, and every day after work, he'd end up eating the dinner himself and tubbing the lunch for work tomorrow.

To Tommy's knowledge, it had been 5 days, and Wilbur hadn't eaten a thing.

He was sleeping less and less, too.

The one thing he did was drink water.

So much water.

The curtains were almost constantly drawn now, and the taller was looking paler by the day.

This wasn't good.

Reluctantly, Tommy punched his best friend's number into his phone on his way home from work.

"Tubbo?"

"Sup, bossman?"

"Y'know how your work gives you.... unique access to information on certain things?"

"Fucking hell man, you haven't been attacked have you-"

"No, no- No. I just- not on the phone, okay? I need a favour."

"You're bloody lucky I'm not on patrol today. Be at the Central Library in 20."

"Alright."

With a heavy heart full of dread, Tommy spun on his heel and texted Wilbur.

BigWiblur

GremlinT: im gonna be a bit late home

BigWiblur: Why

GremlinT: doing some research

BigWiblur: I don't like what that's implying Toms

GremlinT: i'll explain when im home ok

BigWiblur: Alright, stay safe

GremlinT: i will

He fucking hated lying to his brother.

--

20 minutes later, Tommy sat on the steps of Manberg Central Library and Archive on the border of a breakdown.

He placed his head on his knees, trying to breathe steady, but all of the what-ifs were tumbling in his head like a golf ball in a washing machine - one wrong bounce and the glass breaks, making the kitchen floor slippery and his mind equally hazardous.

Tommy was scared.

Tommy was scared and stressed and shaken and what if Wilbur was-

No.

He tried to think of other things, but all roads led to Wilbur - just Wilbur, and the danger he was in.

Just Wilbur, his brother Wilbur, injured Wilbur, fragile Wilbur, crying Wilbur, Wilbur.

His breathing went ragged and his tears threatened to leave their posts at the corners of his eyes, blurring his vision and stinging his heart.

He'd never forget the tension in "I'll explain when I'm home, okay?"

He'd never forget the fear in "I'm so sorry,"

He'd never forget the pain in his brother's injured cries, or the agony in his midnight crying that he thought nobody heard, or the shaking in his tone when he told Tommy to stay safe every day before work.

They were tattooed into Tommy's mind, just as permanent as the art on his clients - only far more painful.

Wilbur had to be fine. He had to.

---

When Tubbo arrived at the Manberg Central Library with a Ranboo in tow, he didn't know what to expect.

What he definitely didn't anticipate was his best friend sobbing and shaking on the steps.

"Ran, stay here," Tubbo warned, an unspoken or else in his tone. "I've got Toms."

Tubbo took careful steps towards the sobbing boy on the stone steps, his eyebrows furrowed in worry.

"Tom?"

Tommy sobbed harder.

Tubbo opted to sit next to his friend, tentatively reaching a hand out.

"Tom, is it okay if I put my arm around you?"

"Please,"

Broken and shaking, that was his response, and Tubbo gently moved closer, pulling his friend onto his shoulder with care.

"Tell me what's up, mate,"

"I just- Gods- I'm so fucking scared for him, Tubs-"

"Scared for who?" Tubbo asked, rubbing his friend's back gently.

"Wil, he's-" Tommy choked out another sob. "He was on his way home from work 5 days ago, and-"

"Is this what the favour was about, Tom? Did Wil get attacked?"

A sob was all he needed to know he was right, and a rock dropped into his gut.

"Gods, Tom, I'm sorry," Tubbo hugged Tommy closer, and Tommy sobbed harder. "I promise I'll do everything I can for you, alright?"

"Are you sure, Tubs- I mean- you'd- your job- the-"

"Yes. Fuck my job, I owe you my life, and if I can pay that back in any way even a bit I'll do anything." Tubbo absently brought a hand to the left side of his face, across which was plastered peeling scars and tender skin. "I mean that, Toms."

The sobs had quieted to sniffles, but Tommy's breathing was still ragged - if he wasn't careful, this would go from a breakdown to a panic attack.

"C'mon bossman, breathe with me, yeah?" Tubbo ventured, exaggerating his breathing for Tommy to follow.

It was broken at first, but Tommy copied his breaths, and eventually, the tears stopped falling, his shoulders stopped shaking, and Tommy sat there in his best friend's arms, trying to still the malevolent woodworms in his bones.

"I'll tell you what I know about the signs, okay?"

"Mhm,"

"Did Wil have any blood around his mouth when he got home?"

Tommy nodded.

"Was it darker than normal blood?"

Another nod.

"Was he wounded at the attack?"

"Stab to the shoulder."

"How's the healing going?"

"Worryingly fast."

Tubbo sucked in a breath.

"How's he been eating?"

Tommy shook his head.

"Water intake?"

"Very high."

"Sleep?"

"Less and less."

"Light tolerance?"

"Not at all, he got a sunburn from having the curtains open for an hour-"

Tubbo sighed. "It's not looking good for Wilbur, Toms-"

"I know," Tommy's voice shook, and his breathing hitched. "I know, Tubs. I just- I want to help him the best I can."

"Okay. Is he paler than usual?"

"Mhm,"

"Fucking hell, bossman. I'm- this- he's-"

"Screwed?"

"....Yeah, Tom. Yeah."

Tommy let out a choked cry.

"It's alright, we'll figure something out, okay? I'm not gonna let you or Wil come to any kind of harm. Not after what's happened."

Tommy nodded. "I- Tubs... Thanks, man."

"Of course, Toms. You're my best friend, I'd do anything for you."

They sat like that on the steps for what could have been minutes or hours, but when Tubbo stood up and asked Tommy if he was okay to stand up and for Tubbo to take him somewhere, Tommy agreed. When Tubbo looked around Ranboo was gone, and there was a message on his phone.

the beloved/qpr

the beloved/qpr: i vwooped away after you sat down

the beloved/qpr: i didn't want to intrude or anything

the beloved/qpr: sorry for not telling you

Tubberware: it's okay

Tubberware: can you take us to the night market? it should be just opening about now

the beloved/qpr: of course

With a signature vwoop and a void ripping into reality behind them, Ranboo appeared. They stood, insanely tall, their work uniform ill-fitting their lanky frame. Red and green eyes darted around until they found the duo, and then turned to the void and squeezed it shut like a rip in a shirt.

"Night market?" Ran confirmed.

"Mhm," Tubbo replied.

Ranboo karate chopped the air, and with another vwoop the void opened again. They curtseyed and stepped aside to let Tubbo and Tommy through.

Tubbo squeezed Tommy's hand and stepped through, followed by Ranboo who made the stride with a swish of their two-toned tail.

Tommy didn't know why, but he couldn't move.

Was it safe? Would Ranboo and Tubbo be on the other side? Would he make it out the other side? What if-

"Big Toms? You coming?" Tubbo poked his head back through the portal.

"I'm- fucking scared of it," Tommy admitted.

Tubbo stepped back through, offering a hand for Tommy to take.

"I promise you it's fine. Don't let go of my hand, and you'll be okay."

Tommy nodded and took Tubbo's hand - and this time when the shorter walked through the void, the taller shoved his thoughts aside and followed.

It was strange, like passing through a wall of freezing smoke, but then it was over, and Tommy was standing with Tubbo and Ranboo in the night market.

"Gods, man. You look petrified." Ranboo quipped.

"No shit, man, your void ass thing is fucking scary!" Tommy bit back, letting go of Tubbo.

"It's not scary, you're just-"

"Right!" Tubbo interrupted. "We have some shopping to do."

"Tubbs, mate, I love you, but there's an active fucking crisis and you're taking me shopping?" Tommy ventured.

"Yeah. There's a reason we're in the night market, Toms." Tubbo replied, his voice dropping to a whisper. "We're about to break some fucking laws."

Tommy blanched. "But- they're like- laws! You aren't meant to break those!" he whisper-yelled.

"Do you want to help Wilbur or not?" Tubbo hissed back, wincing as soon as he said it. "Fuck. Sorry. That wasn't- fuck."

"It's fine. We're both stressed as fuck. You didn't mean it." Tommy chose to ignore the rock in his gut at Tubbo's comment.

"Yeah." Tubbo agreed, offering his hand again. Tommy took it.

Tubbo lead them to a stall at the edge of the market, slightly set back from its row, staffed by a robed man and filled with jewellery.

"Tubbs, this doesn't- I'm-"

"Trust me."

And he did.

"Ah, Underscore! Your vows, as usual, are held in our quills." The robed man flipped his hood down, revealing a near-bald man with one blue and one red eye, and a strange headset was arranged on his head.

"Manifold. Your quills are held secure by our vows." Tubbo nodded, letting go of Tommy and gesturing strangely at the man.

"I know Beloved, but what's with the other guy?" Manifold asked, and Tommy felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"Spectre's an associate of mine," Tubbo replied, and Tommy fought the urge to scoff. "He's in need of information."

"Ah. Beetroot prices? I can get some great fresh stock, by the way- Or is it where to find an airport's rival? How to hide an ugly vegetable in your garden?-"

"How to care for a hatchling cardinal." Tubbo cut across.

"Quite the dealing, for someone so new to the roost?" Tubbo nodded, and Manifold's face fell. "Are you sure-"

"Yes."

"Spectre. Here. Now." Manifold hissed, and Tommy flinched, looking to Tubbo. He nodded. Tommy walked over, fidgety and anxious.

"You're going to take this flash drive. You're going to plug it in to your computer. You're going to memorise it, and then you're going to delete the file completely and burn the USB. Got it?" Manifold instructed, passing a small object to Tommy.

"Yep. plug it in, memorise it, burn the evidence." Tommy muttered, pocketing the drive.

"Perfect." Manifold clapped. "Underscore, I'm expecting payment for this-"

"Next moonrise, my debts erased. I assure it." Tubbo glared. "Your quills are held secure by our vows."

"I'll be here," Manifold replied. "Your vows are held in our quills."

They both repeated the gesture, and Tubbo grabbed Tommy's wrist and spun on his heel.

"Was- was that legal?" Tommy stuttered.

"Gods no," Tubbo replied. "You ever heard of the Tesseract?"

"Tell me I did not just fucking interact with the fucking Tesseract you fucking prick or I'll fucking lamp you-"

"Yep," Tubbo confirmed. "You did."

"What the fuck?! They're fucking known criminals Tubbo what the fuck have you got me into?!" Tommy tried to free his wrist from Tubbo's grip.

"Keep your fucking voice down," Tubbo hissed. "And I'm sorry to say it, but as soon as Wil got attacked you were in all of this. Anyone who wants to keep a vampire alive is immediately a criminal, or did you forget that? I haven't got you into shit. I'm helping you sort arrangements so you don't both end up arrested or dead. I'm using every contact I have and putting my entire fucking life on the line for you, so please stop being such a bitch."

"Fucking hell man, I'm sorry." Tommy yanked his wrist away from Tubbo, and they walked. Quickly, and in silence.

Aeons passed in seconds, time slowed down with the thick honey of a conversation soured. Tension crackled in the air like static.

"Listen, you both messed up-" Ranboo started.

"I-"

"Tubbo." they continued. "On one hand, Tommy had no idea what he was signing up for and he just wants his brother to be okay. On the other, Tubbo's risking literally everything. Hell, I should be worried here. I'm complicit in this too, and I barely know who Tommy even is. All I know is that something happened and now Tubbo has this debt, and I'm getting caught in it too. But I digress. Tommy, you came across as ungrateful, although you're probably just terrified. Tubbo, you were way too harsh, although you're all too aware of the risks involved in this. You both messed up. I need you both to acknowledge that for me, alright?"

"Sorry for losing my shit. You know I'm just worried for Wil." Tommy apologised.

"Fuck are you apologising for? I didn't tell you we'd be talking to the fucking Tesseract. You're fresh off a fucking breakdown. I snapped at you for no reason." Tubbo twitched his wings.

"Dude, you're risking literally everything for a debt you paid years ago. I fucked up too."

"We both fucked up," Tubbo conceded. "Am I alright to put my arm around you?"

"'Course," Tommy grinned.

Tommy's phone buzzed, and as Tubbo put his arm around the blonde he checked his notifications.

BigWiblur - 18:36

toms it's been an hour where are you

BigWiblur - 18:43

tommy where are you please answer

BigWiblur - 18:54

tommy please

BigWiblur - 19:02

Tommy please message me I'm worried

"Shit," Tommy leaped out of his skin, opening his messages.

BigWiblur

GremlinT: yep i'm fine

GremlinT: so so sorry wil i should have checkd mt phone im so sosorry

GremlinT: wil are you okay?

GremlinT: i'm so sorry for stressing you

GremlinT: i'm with tubbo and ranboo, i'm perfectly safe i promise

GremlinT sent an attachment.

"Did you just take a picture of me and you?" Tubbo asked.

"Yeah, Wil's panicking because I'm out late, when that happens he needs a picture of me so he knows I'm safe."

"Oh."

BigWiblur: i'm so so glad you're okay

BigWiblur: love you toms but i swear to fucking god tell me next time

BigWiblur: i can barely fucking breathe

"Ranboo?"

"Mmm?"

"Would you be willing to make an emergency detour to my apartment so I can hug my brother and then we can go back out?"

"Yeah, I don't know where that is so I'll have to read you though."

"Read me?"

"You think of a location. I touch you. I can make a portal to that location."

"OH. Alright."

Ranboo grabbed both of Tommy's hands and Tubbo let go, and Tommy closed his eyes and thought of the apartment.

He felt a weird chill, as if someone with really cold hands was holding his brain.

"You gotta let me in, bud," Ranboo laughed. "Accept the chill,"

Tommy did.

"You don't know the way from here, do you?" Ranboo asked.

"Nope,"

"Do you know the way from the library?"

"Mhm,"

"Can you think of the way there?"

Tommy thought of the way there.

Vwoop

"Done,"

Tommy opened his eyes, and there was a void-portal in front of him.

"How do we know it actually leads to my apartment?" Tommy asked.

"We don't," Ranboo answered. "I read you, so basically we just gotta go in and hope we don't cause a ruckus with your neighbours."

"Riiiight." Tommy grimaced.

Tommy poked his head through, and when he was greeted by the familiar sight of the battered leather sofa, he stepped through-

Wilbur was breathing shallowly yet loudly, gasping for air, curled up in Tommy's armchair.

"Wil?" Tommy murmured gently. "Wil, I'm here. I got Ranboo to port me."

Wilbur didn't look up, kept gasping, hands in his hair.

"Wilbur?"

"Can't- breathe," Wilbur gasped.

Tommy crossed the room in a second, wrapping his brother in his arms.

Wilbur let go of his hair and clutched onto Tommy's jacket, holding onto his brother for dear life.

"I'm so sorry," Tommy murmured. "I'm so fucking sorry,"

"Not- your fault," he wheezed. "Was- struggling before,"

Tommy's blood ran cold.

"Wilbur, what do you mean?"

"Couldn't, breathe- For a while," Wilbur choked. "Since- the night, after the attack,"

"Wilbur, do you mean to tell me you've been having breathing problems for 4 days straight and you didn't say?"

"Yes," he panted. "Didn't want- you worrying,"

"Fucking hell,"

"Sorr-"

"Don't you fucking dare," Tommy cut across. "Don't talk. Focus on fucking breathing."

Wilbur nodded, tears falling down his cheeks.

Tommy breathed slowly and deeply, trying to convince Wilbur to copy, but he stayed shallowly gasping.

Wilbur tried to stand and collapsed into Tommy, who sunk to the ground and held his brother in his arms.

His heart dropped when he realised Wilbur's breathing was getting worse.

"Wil, try and breathe with me, okay?" Tommy's voice shook as he continued his deep breaths.

"Can't," Wilbur rasped. "This is- the only way, I can, breathe."

Tommy felt tears prick his eyes and spill down his face as he held Wilbur. A hand went through his hair, and the other just held him close. Wilbur's breathing was quieter, shallower, more laboured.

"Wil, you're gonna be okay," Tommy's voice cracked as he said it.

Wilbur nodded weakly.

"You'll be okay. We'll be okay." Tommy held him a bit closer, as Wilbur's breathing grew a bit fainter.

"Tom," Wilbur whispered.

"Yeah?" Tommy's breathing sped up, growing frenzied as he started to panic.

"I love you."

Tommy let out a sob. "I love you too,"

They sat on the ground, Wilbur letting his wings form as they should and wrapping them around Tommy, Tommy holding onto Wilbur gently, both of them crying, neither of them saying a word. Tommy shook, Wilbur stuttered, Tommy sobbed, Wilbur gasped, Tommy wept, Wilbur wheezed.

And then there was nothing.

[okthatsgreat]

i am GRABBING YOU and SHAKING YOU. did you know your mikane is the craziest. did you. did you know that. last chapter drove me so far up the wall i am still yet to calmndown...... poor mikan. imagine ur emotionally repressed gf runs away again only for two children w the exact same problem to come barging through your door.

i have so many things to ask........ but i shan't ask them all. please please tell me anything about ur ideas for mikane in general or in oppdmh bc they're the most crazy insane yuri ever. OH RIGHT YEAH AND. the actual question. obviously opddmh mikan still struggles with anxiety, but how do you think she's changed in mentality and issues after everything that came after danganronpa? any issues outgrown or gained? morphed in some way? love ur work so much every time. u made me pause my utena rewatch and that is such a big compliment u do not even know

GRABS YOU SHAKES YOUSHAKESYOU SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU

talking about this fic, as always putting the answer under read more for people who dont wanna read lol!!!!!!!

OHHH MY GOD IM INSANE ABOUT THEMM. went into this fic knowing that i wanted mikan and akane to have their own povs because i thought theyd bring different perspectives, especially in comparison to makoto's pov. i knew what i wanted mikans story to involve and i had a vague idea about akanes (fun fact rantaro was originally gonna be kaito LOL) and then like two chapters into writing mikans point of view i was like waiiiitttt a minute. wait a minute hold on. what if they were in love. and what if they were so not normal about it

it made so much sense for the story i wanted both of them to tell that immediately i went into my notes and started pivoting a few things LMFAO. i just think that their relationship (or their pining at least lol) is able to neatly underline some of their core themes/issues in this fic, whether that be for better or for worse. through the lens of their relationship im hoping to convey mikan's sheer capacity of worry and insecurity, how she finds it difficult to move through life without another person to rely on even if she has done a bit of growing since the simulator and how that dependency affects her. and then of course akane's emotional repression is highlighted through their relationship (her forgetfulness, her inability to communicate, LEAVING all of the time), but also it's a great reminder of just how protective akane can get even if she isn't there. not to mention how worried she gets about mikan despite her absolute refusal to worry.

they care about each other to the point of unspoken codependency and while it is absolutely making both of them feel safe and happy it is still a reminder of their underlying problems. akane would do anything to avoid somebody thinking she is weak enough to be cared for. but all mikan can do is care and care and care about her. both of them are so willing to shoulder the problems of the other but neither of them want to be seen as burdens, so all they end up doing is silently dance around their issues until eventually somebody caves. INSANE YURI MOMENT

mikan still absolutely has anxiety LMFAO and dare i say..... she's...... kind of better????????????????????? or maybe not actually. going into this i had to think about how to write these characters in a way that felt true to who they are but also remembering that they have GROWN, even if danganronpa really makes them feel as if they havent lol. this is a mikan who has likely endured years of therapy, even if that therapy is SHIT at best. this is also a mikan who has been shoved into the spotlight rather forcibly and has basically been given the choice to adapt or die. so i probably shouldnt say that shes "better", it's more that shes had to modify herself to fit this new lifestyle of hers. she hasnt been given much of a choice, and i imagine shes had a few years to really fuck up and struggle before reaching this point. she is constantly in the spotlight and basically always under scrutiny, so ive sort of swayed away from her wanting attention and focused more on how she reacts to this attention-- shes grown bitter from the negative and she doesnt think she deserves most of the positive. it's this hurricane of problems with mikan and a lot of it involves her own struggle to view herself as a good person, which stems heavily from the insecurities she already had in her game and intensified by what happened outside of it. years of being seen as this iconic chapter three killer has absolutely worn her down a bit, but there is still a part of her that yearns for control over her life and the people surrounding it. she is still SO anxious, ive tried to really hammer home quite a few recurring symptoms with her like her nervous tics, sickness/lack of appetite, hair shedding, etc!! and she is extremely bitter about how shes been treated, too, which im hoping to elaborate on further on down the line. however she really, REALLY can not be passing out in front of cameras or throwing any fits about the exploitation shes endured since shes been a teen because the company she works for wont accept anything that isnt on brand. and underneath it all shes still that scared little kid that desperately wants to please

she's an older mikan but she is still very much hurting, not necessarily any less but in a way that's a bit different if that makes sense :)

you are SO FUCKING NICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333

[starryv01dz]

Davis has incredibly unhealthy attachment issues and constantly self sabotaged his relationships with those around him. Even when he does genuinely care about those around him, he has an extremely hard time showing it after he's confident they can't or won't leave him.

He mainly does with Kat, Mia, and Charlie, but his and Bryan's friendship is also extremely interesting to talk about when you look at it.

With Kat, he has an extremely close relationship with her, and at first, they are both very open to each other about their issues and worries, to the point where Davis even opens up about his trauma to her. When Kat doesn't pull away after he opens up to her, this is one of the times Davis realizes how strong their relationship is and starts to become overconfident.

When they get a new house and start deciding life decisions together, Davis starts to slowly pull away from Kat, whether it's from the attachment issues or for her own safety.

Kat is also arguably the only person Davis still cares about anymore, making her his top priority above all else, and also causing him to constantly think about her safety over their overall relationship. He starts to do things that sabotages their relationship unconsciously by becoming more emotionally neglectful and independent, and starts to believe that as long as Kat is "safe", she is happy, and as long as she doesn't know about the danger that Davis is dealing with, she is "safe".

We see tho where keeping the secrets have led though, and see that Davis being quiet only put Kat in more danger than if she was aware of the situation. We see that Kat being "safe" does not make her happy, and in fact makes her feel more alone and isolated, and even become scared that Davis is cheating on her.

Even when Kat does get put in danger, and Davis has to get her out of it, Davis still does not fix the overall problem of their relationship and the communication and in fact, again, physically takes Kat away from the situation instead of figuring it out together.

Ill talk about Bryan and the Bash animatronics later bc i think Im running out of space-

NIKIIIIIIIIII OH MY GOD I GRIP YOU & SHAKE U AROUND LIKE A RATTLE INCREDIBLY VIOLENTLY

davis is shit personality wise, but writing wise hes such a silly guy... examining him under a microscope even....

expect something davis related in ur ask box soon ^__^ this is a threat ^__^

[atherix]

YOU- I'm very sorry for not screaming in your ask box a lot lately, life's been a thing... BUT IM HERE NOW, AND OHMYGOD seems like ohmygrian would also work given recent events ATHERIX IM SCREAMING AND SHAKING YOU WHAT JUST HAPPENED

Ok ok ok, so lore lots of lore where to begin

Let's start off with one of the big ones. WATCHERS?? I am very calmly and politely asking you what the hell is happening with Scott and Jimmy. What. is. happening. Listener lore?? Other equally interesting plot points?? Only time will tell I suppose... I don't like how much power you hold over us atherix 😑 you like the tourment a little too much 😑 but seriously I love it so much you evil writer

Don't you just love it when your mate is brutaly murdered infront of you, then ages later (is it hundereds of years? thousands? i cant remember. lets just say time. Time has passed), you find 2 new mates! Who you love very deeply! Who you would do anything for! Only to learn one of them is constantly tap dancing at deaths door, and the other has now become a God after friggin dying in front of you 🙂 You cradled his dead body in your arms. You uselessly checked for breath even while knowing there was none left. You begged him to come back, to not leave you like she did begged him to LIVE. couldn't save them couldn't save them couldn't save And then he does. he comes back. And he's a watcher now! So you know. There's that. Then he tries to single handedly fight off two harbingers of death while injured, and while using his godly powers for the first time! <3 like an idiot <3 Everything's going great :D

Then scar. Scar. I think him and I need to have a little chat about the whole distracting the warden thing. Brave! Stupid! Suicidal! Luv I don't care if you think you're gonna die at any moment, please have some self preservation <33 if not for your sake, at least for your son?? And your mates?? (On the other hand it was very sweet. Still stupid, but sweet) But wow is he going through it too... nothing like a track record of your loved ones consistently dying for you :) it's something he's definitely not traumatised over :)) it's all completely fine :))) someone get this man some cuddles and emotional support STAT

By the way Tubbo must be having a great time right now 😃

All of their mental and physical health needs some serious help rn

Atherix. ATHERIX. 30 thousand years?? The magic residue?? The unsolved mysteries?? What does scar know... what's going on... what pieces of the puzzle are we missing... or have we completed the puzzle and it's just upside-down? Either way it's pain :D

Also the worldbuilding detail?? The descriptions of the city?? The wardens?? The enchanting?? This all makes me very happy <33

Im sure I've forgotten a LOT about these last 2 chapters, but this is all I got for now... your writing has a grip on me ohmygod

So yeah I'm normal about this. Thank you for consuming my waking hours <33

-🍂

(This is also from chapter 8/9 not the latest chapter <3)

No worry! Real life is Like That sometimes <3 I hope everything's okay! Highkey if it hadn't been a Serious Moment Grian would have said "you're welcome" when Tubbo said "thank god" LMAO A LOT HAPPENED-

So much lore mmm

YEP. WATCHERS. WE'VE FINALLY MADE IT FOLKS, WE'RE HERE, THE WATCHERS ARE HERE. Haha well we've answered Jimmy, haven't gotten into Scott yet but that will come up in the future <3 I on the other hand LOVE the amount of power I hold over y'all :) This is delightful <3 <3 <3

Mmmm Mumbo was born almost 500 years ago so it's been probably a little more than 4.5 centuries <3 But yes. Mmmm history sure does rhyme. "One of them is constantly tap dancing at death's door" I'M SORRY I AM SENT HJKSJKJKFSHJ but yes! Yes! Mmm Mumbo watching yet another mate of his get killed and he has absolutely no power to stop it :) Only this time the mate WAKES UP and now he has to trust the mate who just died and came back to know what he's doing so Mumbo can go help their mate to not die, too! Yay! Oh the trauma haha Mumbo will have nightmares about this day for the rest of his long life :) Also my dear 🍂Autumn 🍂 Anon how in the world did you make this even angstier than it already is <3 (Fun fact I plan to write a tumblr exclusive/aside of that moment from Mumbo's pov <3) Hahaha yeah god or not might not want to fight off the "monster god" who has ended the world who knows how many times <3 But at least they're there to stop him from facing down the Warden like he tried to face down Blondie <3

Oh yes, Scar is certainly going to be getting Talked With by a few different people in the coming days :) Once they've recovered more haha. "Hey Scar what the fuck" <3 But yes! If he's gonna die he's gonna make it matter </3 Try and give them a chance to get away <3 Mind you Grian's little trick didn't actually work, the Warden just fuckin. Mm. But the fire is a surprise tool for the future ;) God yeah :) Scar is so. Mmm trauma. He doesn't want anyone else to die for or because of him </3 He'll get cuddles and emotional support but he might also need a li'l therapy <3

Tubbo is having a GREAT time haha "I said I was FASCINATED by the Warden, I didn't say I wanted to MEET one!!"

Oh yes. Absolutely. They need all the help they can get.

:) Haha chapter ten answers these <3

I love worldbuilding and I really wanted to flesh the Ancient City out so <3 I'm glad you enjoy this~! <3 hjhgjfdj <3

Haha you've summed it up pretty well methinks <3 Thank you much <33 hhghjjhgdj <3

Thank you for reading~! <3

[lonelyinkcap]

.

*quietly enters the doc and loafs on the floor*

im

here now

idk

im not eloquent enough to justify a gay sideblog haha

i guess i can have a lil ghost recorder session while youre gone /nf

“ah. right. you are a tape recorder. you cannot consent”

idk

meep

i should get a new bandaid for my blister

took it off earlier bc it was covered in paint and about to fall off bc of my sweaty ass hands anyway

um

yea idk

ive been having

i think a like

pretty good day generally

so im worried if i

slow down and let myself breathe

its all gonna go to shit realll fast

thats what usually happens anyway.

but

idk

im

trying to be gay

without like. the anxiety hitting me like a truck again

its not really working

my leg is already shaking

just

thinking about thinking about it

yknow?

i dont know.

sorry.

at this point im not really sure i even know what im worried about?

just like.

idk.

i was worried about something

and then it just became this general block in my mind where i was like “i cannot think about this or it will be Bad”

ohhhhhh this is what my therapist was talking about

anywa

its like

dont read this

i guess

idk

um.

yeah.

i guess one thing im always worried about is that i have no fucking clue what im doing and ill mess up or just not be good enough and you

wont like me anymore?

im

fairly certain its irrational 

its just

constantly lurking in the back of my mind

well theres 

a million things lurking in the back of my mind and maybe its just cuz time is moving and things are getting closer and suddenly theres bootcamp and the con and schools starting

and im just

worried that im going to do something wrong. and. mess up and. fuck my entire life over?

im scared of losing friends but also id rather die than talk to them, yknow?

i dont know

im scared of letting my impulses and intrusive thoughts get the better of me and ill cut someone off that i shouldntve and lose all my friends or god forbid make them choose between me and the other person

and im scared that they might choose me.

i dont know

im sorry.

i should. delete this before you come back.

knowing me ill forget and keep writing like an absolute dumbass so

why even try

idk.

im

gonna go get a bandaid.

[sadistic-softie]

My guilt is kind of "at odds"-ish with my stepmoms guilt. HUGE VENT (ignore if it bothers you)

my stepmom disagrees that i should cut contact and she keeps really pushing for me to see my mom and it literally makes my body involuntarily shake and twitch with stress because I'm trying so hard toe explain why I don't want to and she keeps playing advocate and it's playing into my self doubt and guilt complex bs i've got going on

and i feel bad because im secretly angry that she keeps comparing my suidical response to my mother to things like not liking a job, unfulfilled dreams, etc, because i was feeling suicidal because I felt helpless, trapped, exhausted, and like there was no way out, but she insisted on telling me to take my mom out of the equation and think about how im gonna be suicidal another time in my life too as if i don't know that.

She was saying that because she wants me to not be surprised by being suicidal later on and end up commiting and i had to reassure her i wouldn't commit but the reason i even bring it up in the first place is because it's not normal for a specific person to make you feel suicidal every day but she has so much of her own guilt and empathy about my mother that she's deadset on defending her in any any everyway possible and is all but saying that im making the wrong choice by going no contact and keeps insisting im gonna regret it in the future and insisting that i need to be friends with her as an adult

and getting visibly frutrated with me when i explain why I feel like that would be a bad idea for everyone involved and that I gave her so so so many chances but she feels like ive given my mom no chance but I know what it's like not to get a second chance. ajsdbbkskejnf I know i know shes telling me these things because she cares and loves me and wants me to have all the options so i can make the best decision but her opinion is very clear. I know shes only thinking this way and saying these things because she wants whats best for me and doesnt want me to have regrets later in life

and she keeps reiterating that she doesnt wanna step on my moms feet due to the nature of her role as a step parent and also that she understands that because she wasnt there, she doesn't know what it was like or how i felt. but...It all just makes me feel like she doesn't believe me. Like she thinks im exaggerating. she even asked me if it could maybe be that "Im being to hard on my mom" and that it "wasn't as bad as it seemed" and kept making me look back in retrospect to "find out" if it wasn't so bad or i was being "to hard on her" because of her experience with her sensitive son who gets his feelings hurt very easily.

"im not saying you can't handle it, but (son) can't handle it with me...hes too hard on me and im just wondering if maybe it's a similar thing with you ad your mom" I try to explain myself and i did tell her word for word, "I could sit here and tell you the way i feel over and over but it would never really convey the experience and the way I felt" i know she means well and her response is her way of kind of defending/helping the future me but god it's so complicated. AS IF i dont already constantly guilt and doubt myself and worry im being too sensitive and dramatic about it all.

This conversation keep happening and its gotten to the point where its so often i can already recognize it coming by the look on her face beforehand. That sad pitying smile. It makes me feel like such an asshole because i know that there's a huge chance that in her head im just being a stubborn cunt who can't see the way. the conversation gives my body the same involuntary response as it gets from standing out in the cold for too long.

I LITERALLY SHIVER WITH STRESS. I DONT FUCKING EVER DO THAT UNLESS SOMETHING ABOUT MY MOM COMES UP. DOES THAT MEAN NOTHING?? IS THAT INDICITIVE OF NOTHING??? like, im sorry, i love my mom to death. i used to put her on a pedestal. she was always right to me. i defended her tooth and nail because she was everything to me and i all but worshiped her until i realized how fucking unhealthy that was and how shit it made me feel and how shit it made my life in general.

holy shit. Like, fuck. I just need to know if I'm still making the right decision. That's all I ever wanted in my life was to just do the right things the right way to be a decent person and it seems like I never fucking can. To clarify, im not mad at her, im just mad in general because this whole situation is so FUCKING COMPLICATED

im trying to hard not to guilt myself for wanting to cut ties with the person who made me want to kms because i know i didn't do anything wrong but this kind of stuff makes it so fucking hard and frustrating. Im just lucky she talks about it like a civil fucking human being instead of shitting on me like the person she feels so bad for. I just hate being looked at with that forced fucking pity smile like im pretending and making this shit up because im being silly and don't know no better

God, i fucking hate it i hate it i hate it i know i seem fucking nuts but im telling ths truth and im not a fucking idiot!

[eddiemunsonswhxre]

never be me / eddie munson

masterlist

one shot

cw: angst, painful as heck, cursing, tears galore

eddie decides he’ll never be good enough for you and refuses to let you believe otherwise.

a/n: i want to include this in a possible future fic i’ll be writing so here’s a sneak peak of the pain it will cause :) also i wrote this in the car on the way to tennessee so if it sucks or has a lot of errors im sorry

-

eddie knew it was a dumb idea from the start. you were pretty, popular, a token good girl. and he was him.

you deserved one of those preppy boyfriends who took you to nice restaurants, wasn’t afraid to hold your hand in public, and one who didn’t have a reputation as he did. he couldn’t even let himself make it official with you. he was too scared.

now he was making it to your house as he did almost every thursday. except today it wasn’t for a study session. he’d graduated, because of you. you’d both graduated that previous weekend. he felt terrible as he thought of how to go about this. he’s never broken up with someone before, shit he’s never been this involved with someone before. he’s never loved anyone like this before.

he wanted to be selfish and keep you forever, but you had such a big future ahead of you. you’d been accepted to harvard, your dream school, and he didn’t want you having to worry about him. he’d corrupted you, so badly, and he regretted every second of it because all along he knew no matter how much he wanted too he wasn’t going to stay with you.

he’d changed you from your parents golden girl who never put a finger out of place to one who constantly defied them. you drank, you smoked, you began questioning your beliefs in god that you were so firm in when you first moved here, you were different. he took all those qualities away from you, but the thing he regretted the most was taking your virginity.

he held your purity ring in his hand as he walked up towards your front door. his hand was shaking while he stared at the dainty silver ring he wore on his necklace for the last two months. he took your virginity, something that was super important to you, just because he was selfish. he wanted to live in ignorance as long as possible, but he couldn’t spend any more time pretending like he wasn’t going to break your heart at some point. he took a deep breath and rang your doorbell.

it took a few moments and your door was flinging open. “eds! i didn’t know you were coming,” you say, smile covering your face as you fling yourself into his chest. eddie closes his eyes and gulps.

he lightly rests his arms on your back before pulling out of the hug. “sorry, i was just wondering if we could talk,” he says weakly. you nod, standing on your toes to press a peck to his lips before grabbing his hand and guiding him inside.

“oh, i was going to call you earlier but i’ve been cleaning all day,” you began as you guided him to your bedroom. “i was thinking maybe we could go to that one water park outside of indianapolis on saturday? i know you’ve never been, and we could take robin and steve too?” you asked excitedly, recalling eddie previously mentioning how fun a water park looked.

eddie feels the inside of his nose burn as he already feels like crying. he wills them back, wanting you to believe he wanted this breakup. “i can’t,” he says firmly and you half turn to him on the stairs with a frown.

“oh, well then we can go sunda-“

“i can’t,” he interrupts you and you close your mouth slowly.

you reach the top of the stairs at this point and pout. “maybe we can go next weekend then?” you suggest.

eddie feels the pain in his heart intensify already. “uh, no, y/n, i don’t think so,” he says and your pout turns into confusion. “can we just- please sit down i have some stuff i need to get out,” he huffs, more frustrated with himself then anything.

“yeah, um, o-okay,” you stutter nervously. you finish walking him to your room, dropping his hand as you sit on your bed.

he bites his lip, pacing and rubbing his hand over his face as he tries to compose himself. you look at him with concern, worried something was wrong. he looks into your eyes, faltering as he sees the worry painted in them. he wanted to back out, maybe spit out that he loved you and finally wanted to be what you wanted.

but he couldn’t. because you deserved better than him. he walks up to you and holds your ring out to you. “you should take this back,” he says shakily.

you look from his eyes to the ring. “why?” you ask.

eddie grits his teeth nervously, looking away from you. “i um-,” he starts, having to stop and take a deep breath. “whatever we are… i want it to be, to be done. i-i’m breaking up with you,” he says, looking anywhere but your eyes.

the whole world around you went blurry. your ears started to ring as a huge lump took hold in your throat. you’re silent for a moment as you process what he just said. break up. he doesn’t want you anymore. eddie looks to you and when he does his heart crumbles. he wants to take it back, but it’s too late. “b-break up?” you whisper and eddie winces.

he nods and looks off to the side again, tearing his gaze from your broken expression. “this just isn’t working, y/n,” he says softly.

“w-what isn’t working? i did- i did everything you wanted,” you ask, desperate. eddie closes his eyes as a knife digs into his already torn heart. you were right, you did everything he asked you to and here he was, saying you weren’t enough. fuck.

“we just aren’t meant to be together, okay?” he says, grabbing your wrist and placing the ring in your hand. tears stream down your face as the cold metal makes contact with your hand.

you looked up to him, swearing you saw the regret in them. “but we are, you-you said so,” you say and eddie furrows his brows.

he shakes his head, “i never said that,” he whispers, wracking his mind to try and remember if he did.

your lip quivers as a sob threatens to spill from your lips. “you did,” you sob out and eddie resists with everything in him to keep from scooping you into his arms and telling you it was all okay, that it was just a mistake. “after graduation, when we all got drunk at steve’s, you told me that you never wanted to be with anyone else. that we were-were made for each other,” you cry and eddie’s entire face falls.

“i-i did?” he chokes. he didn’t think he got that drunk that night.

you nod your head yes before standing. “take the ring back, it belongs to you now,” you say, holding it out.

his guilt filled eyes begin to water. “y/n, no, that’s yours,” he whispers.

a bit of rage enters your bloodstream. “no, because you took it, remember? i let you because you made me believe you cared about me! so, this is yours,” you say, slamming it into his chest and waiting for him to take it. he does with shaky fingers, intimidated by your small outburst. you never lost your temper.

you turn around, pulling at your hair so hard you feel like your scalp could bleed. eddie feels himself collapsing on the inside at the state of you. he reaches out towards you, wanting to pull you into him. “you told me you loved me… you lied?” you ask, refusing to turn to him.

eddie doesn’t know what to say. he does love you, but he doesn’t want you to convince him to stay. “that doesn’t matter,” he dismisses, resting his hand on your shoulder.

you fling his hand off you and spin around. “doesn’t matter?! are you fucking serious?” you scream, causing eddie to physically jump. oh fuck, you almost never cussed.

“y/n…” he starts carefully.

you shake your head, fists clenching. “no, eddie! you mean everything to me! you’re- you’re basically all i have. yeah there’s robin but she doesn’t know me like you do, i told you everything. everything! i let myself fall in love with you because you acted like and told me you loved me too. and now what? you just wanted to get to me, change me, corrupt me? take my virginity, make me need you, and then leave?” you scream.

a couple tears trickle down eddie’s cheeks. “no, no, baby, i promise you that’s not it,” he says, taking a step towards you.

you shove him back with the little strength you can manage. “then what the fuck is it?” you cry.

“i had to leave you before you left me,” he admits and you turn to glare at him.

“what?” you ask.

eddie closes his eyes. “it’s not just that, but you’re going to college, y/n. harvard for fuck’s sake! i can’t keep you when you have all these opportunities. and-and i don’t deserve you. you deserve someone so much better, someone who can make you happier than i can,” he explains and you stare at him with disappointment in your eyes as your heart splits further.

“since when did you think you got to make this choice for me? i don’t care what i deserve or what you think i deserve. i want you, eddie! i only want you,” you say, choking on your words

eddie shakes his head. “you’d be making a mistake if you stayed with me. there’s so many guys so much better than me. you said it yourself i corrupted you. you need someone stable, someone who knows how to care for you, someone who’s everything you need. and it’ll never be me. i’ll never be able to be that for you. i’m not doing this because i don’t want you or don’t love you, i’m doing this because you need to realize you can’t love me,” he explains, watching you cry.

“that’s such bullshit,” you scream, face soaked in tears.

eddie lets out a small hiccup and shakes his head. “baby, i’m doing this for you,” he says.

you cover your face with your hands as you try and grasp this. “you can’t decide this for me. i-i know what i need and i want to work on it with you because i want it to be you! maybe i wanted to be corrupted, did you ever think of that? i don’t care if you’re stable because in relationships you care for each other when you’re not. you are everything that i need, eddie,” you beg, trying to get it through to him.

eddie closes his eyes in a mix of pain and frustration. “no, i'm not. you’re not thinking long term, baby. i can’t follow you to school, you won’t even have me around and i can’t support you from hundreds of miles away even if we could work this out,” he explains.

you go quiet and let out a sob. “i denied harvard,” you whisper and eddie freezes up.

“you-you what?” he asks, stunned.

you look up to him, pain pouring from every pore of your body. “i told harvard no, eddie. i’m going to university of indianapolis, it’s like less than forty five minutes away,” you say, picking at your nails.

eddie feels his chest deflate. “why’d you… harvard is your dream school,” he says, confusion filling his bones.

you looked up at him with empty eyes. “harvard is a dream, you’re real,” you say quietly and eddie’s whole heart shatters.

“you didn’t go to harvard… because of me?” he asks in a whisper.

you nod, biting your lower lip. “you begged me not to go… told me you needed me and shit and that everyone else always leaves. i didn’t want to be everyone else, and honestly i’d rather stay close to you that start over again completely in a new state,” you admitted.

eddie closes his eyes. “that’s so,” he starts, “stupid,” he exhaled. you narrow your eyes at him, you did it because you loved him.

“i did it for you, for us,” you say, anger filling your blood again.

eddie shakes his head. “no, i-i’m not holding you back. call them, write them whatever. you need to go to harvard,” he demands.

you furrow your brows. “no, eddie i want to stay here, with you,” you say.

he shakes his head once more, swallowing. “you can’t stay here with me. be-because we’re not even together, at all anymore. i'm not changing my mind. i’m sorry, but, there’s never going to be an us,” he says, really only saying it so you’d go. he couldn’t be the reason you didn’t go to harvard. he was nothing compared to that school. that was your dream, not him.

“but, eddie, i love you, and i know you love me too-“ you say but eddie holds up his hand.

he knows you’ll probably know he’s lying, but he prepares to lie anyway. “no, i don’t. no matter what you do, i won’t be with you. just- i-i never want to see you again. goodbye, y/n,” he says, turning and bolting out of your room.

your heart shatters as he leaves. “eddie!” you call, bolting after him. “eddie, wait, please,” you say, running down the stairs after him. since when was he fast?

eddie tries his best to tune you out, tears falling freely from his eyes. “eddie, please, don’t do this. please, don’t leave me,” you scream, sobbing as you blindly run out the door he left open in his rush.

eddie chokes on his sobs as he hears your pained cries. “eddie, please,” you sob, as he opens the door to his van, hopping in and starting it. you reach his passenger door which was locked but you put your hands to his window. at some point, it has started to rain and your tears were starting to bleed into the rain drops.

eddie takes one look at you and falters, he was breaking you. and it hurt like hell. “please, i love you,” you sob, hands slapping on the wet glass. it’s for your own good, eddie tells himself. he throws his van in reverse and floors it out of your driveway.

you try running after him, but he’s peeling out of your neighborhood like he was running from the police. eddie lets out a sob as he watches you fall to your knees at the end of your driveway, crying into your hands as the rain soaked through your clothes. “god damnit!” he yelled, slamming his hands on the steering wheel.

~

just about twenty four hours later there’s banging on eddie’s trailer door. he groans, burying himself further into his depression bed. he was currently laying in just his boxers in a mess of tissues, snot covered sheets, a blanket you’d left in his van, and holding one of your sweatshirts you kept here to sleep in. the banging doesn’t stop and suddenly on his window, causing him to jump.

“get out here, munson, i know you’re in there,” steve harringtons voice yells at his closed and covered window.

“fuck,” eddie mutters. he was definitely about to get his ass beat. he stood up, pulling on a stray pair of pajama pants and wiping his nose for the millionth time. there’s more knocking on his door and he groans. “i’m coming!” he yells hoarsely. he marches to his door, swinging it open to see robin, steve, and dustin standing at his door.

dustin’s jaw drops at the sight of eddie. his face was beet red, his eyes were swollen, red, and glossy, and his nose looking raw from rubbing it, not to mentioned his bloody lips for how much he was biting them. “where’s y/n?” robin asks directly, looking around eddie.

he furrows his brow, maybe she hasn’t told them yet. “not here?” he questions, voice nasally. robin pushes past him, deciding she needs to search for herself. “hey, what the fuck?” eddie says, stumbling back.

“she’s not with you?” steve asks, looking at dustin who looked panicked. “that’s your girlfriend, man, you’ve gotta know where she is,” he continues.

eddie coughs into his hand, eyes stinging again. “she was never my- doesn’t matter. we broke up, yesterday,” he says, crossing his arms and looking down to his toes.

“oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. that’s probably why,” dustin says, slapping steve on the arm, an alarmed expression on his face.

robin comes back to them, tears in her eyes. “i don’t know where else to look,” she whispers and eddie looks between them all.

he starts to panic, what were they talking about? “wait, what’s going on?” he asks, looking to dustin knowing he’d be the first to spill anything.

“y/n is missing,” he says and eddie’s eyes widen.

“what?” he yells, fear flooding his entire body.

robin and steve look between each other and steve knows he has to talk because robin’s about to start crying. “y/n was supposed to hang out with us last night and take dustin to breakfast this morning. she didn’t show up or answer any of our calls. we went over last night but no one answered the door. about an hour and half ago i took the hidden key they have and just went in. she’s not there but her car is and we-we found this,” steve says, reaching into his pocket. he pulls out a crumpled piece of notebook paper and hands it to eddie.

i need to be alone, please don’t look for me x -y/n

eddie feels like his soul leaves his body as he begins to shake.

oh god.

oh no.

what did he do?

[thedevilsdom]

Do you write for Genshin? HAHSHSHA aghshd zhongli is vvv sensitive and can cum by just playing w his nipples. Overstimming him til he's crying and shaking and u're still not stopping🤤... AAAA just torturing him w toys or whatever,, maybe even eating him out?

N e ways,, i hope this doesn't bother u HAHSHAHS FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS!!

<3333

Happy pride month btw!

THIS IS SO LATE IM SORRY

also,,, dragon dick zhongli,,,

--

You never thought that a millenia old god would be so very sensitive.

"You really feel so much, don't you, sweet thing?" You say. He's laid on his back on the nice, soft bed, his coat discarded and shirt unbuttoned so you can have free access to his lovely toned front. You've also decided to give him a little relief and unbuttoned his pants, pulling them and his underwear a little down his thighs.

"Nobody- hah- nobody's ever touched me like this," The back of his hand is pressed to his warm lips, cheeks dusted with red.

"Oh?" Your fingers rub over his nipples and his dick twitches in response. You look down at his length, its fade from a deep orange to a golden yellow, its lovely inhuman-ness. He was so embarrassed about allowing you to see, but you're grateful that he did.

"You deserve to feel good like this, baby," You kiss his shoulder, then his chest, then his nipple, and oh the moan that it draws out from him. Low and shuddery, hand gripping the sheets.

"I think I'm close," He whimpers. Zhongli hardly masturbated, especially not before he met you. He's got such a short fuse, and he's so sensitive that you think if you treat him a little too roughly, he'll shatter.

"Here," You grab onto his pants and underwear, pulling them down and off, tossing them off to the side. Once he's exposed, he can't help but squeeze his legs shut and try to hide, but a hand on each of his knees has him spreading his legs.

"Keep your legs spread for me, okay honey?" You smile, kissing the inside of his knee. He nods, not trusting his mouth to speak. You nestle your head against his neck and start sucking a mark onto his untainted skin. He cries out as your hands return to his nipples, pinching and rubbing them.

"So good, feels good," He mumbles, "My- ngh- I'm so hard, I'm so aroused, everything you do feels good-" Zhongli keeps babbling as you bring pleasure to his body.

You knew that Zhongli talks a lot, he's a very eloquent man, you really should've expected him to keep that up here.

"I'm going to cum," His voice is reedy and airy in a way you rarely hear it. "I-! Ngh!"

Gritting his teeth and growling, Zhongli cums heavy white streaks across his chest, legs struggling to stay open for you as his feet press into the bed and he bucks his hips up, dick untouched as he climaxes.

You don't stop touching him, even after he's cum.

Moving down between his legs, you hold them open as you go down to his hole, kissing just next to it, displaying your intention to him. He gasps as soon as he realizes.

"N- wait! That-!" His head is still spinning from his orgasm, he can hardly string the words together, "It- that's d-dirty!"

"Is it now?" You can't help but giggle, knowing just how much of a clean person Zhongli is. You know he's never had anyone touch him here, and you doubt that he's even thought about it. You don't give him any more time to worry before you dive in.

You press your tongue to his hole and feel him tense up immediately, yelping.

"You can't do tha- ah!" Zhongli gasps as your tongue pushes into him. His hands immediately fly to your head, pushing you more against him. You throw any caution of his fragility to the wind.

You start to tongue fuck him like that, your hot breath ghosting across his skin as his hole quivers around your tongue. He cries out the whole time, pitch only raising as you reach up stroke through the cum on his stomach before you start jerking him off.

The overstimulation makes him feel like he's being electrocuted. He can't stop moaning, he can't stop screaming, all his eloquence gone. You're not sure if he even realizes how loud he's being. Hot tears roll down his cheeks and his hips are constantly squirming under you.

His second orgasm takes him by surprise, cock throbbing and dribbling cum, nowhere near as much as his first. His hole spasms around your tongue and his hips jerk up while you stroke him through it with your hand.

When he's done and you finally pull back, he's left sobbing on the bed, head resting on his pillow.

"Oh, my baby," You swipe up some of his cum on your finger and lick it off. "Was that okay? I didn't go too hard?"

"N-No," He hiccups, wiping away some of his tears, "It was r-really good..."

He hides his face behind his hands, obviously embarrassed.

"Love," You pull his hands back and cup his flushed cheek. "You're so pretty," Your thumb strokes over his cheek, "I love you, I can't wait to do more with you."

The devious glint in your eye is not lost on him. He shivers with the anticipation of what you have in store for him, and he's eager to see it.

--

like my writing? consider buying me a kofi!

[storytree-hyw]

I never would’ve thought that a man who made minecraft videos would connect to me and much as he did. Alex did you much for so many people and I’m happy he knew how much we all loved him. May the king take his final rest and may he be forever in peace, rest in immortal tranquility Alex, Technoblade.

If you’re reading the under the cut junk I honestly applaud you. This isn’t really here for any particular reason, it’s more here for me. If you’re not a big reader you’re allowed to leave, or heck—stick around, listen to my rambles about everything.

I remember when I found out, one of my friends sent the video and I remember watching it and, well I don’t want to say I didn’t take it well—honestly the most accurate description was that…I didn’t take it at all. In the moment I didn’t cry, I didn’t do anything except look at my phone and I remember just feeling shock. Some part of me wanted to believe it was a joke, a dream, that somehow it wasn’t real. I remember looking through the early stream on comments and seeing how people were reacting.

I knew it wasn’t a joke, or a dream. My brain just didn’t want to except it. I also found it odd how I wasn’t sad, or at least not crying. My eyes were dry, I wasn’t even shaking. I don’t think it really hit me yet.

Then later that night I was lying in bed and it finally hit me. It was when I was watching some compilations of Techno’s best moments and it finally hit me. It hit me like falling off a building—god it sucked. It finally clicked in my mind that this person, this man whose made so many people laugh, and smile, brought people together, lifted others up, was putting on a brave face after putting up a nearly year long fight to cancer—was gone.

He was gone. Gone forever, a whole person was gone from this earth and it took me that long to realize that. I don’t blame myself it’s a hard thing to grasp, whether old or young, an entire person just being gone from everything and not being able to continue on with their life hurts.

…

He died too young.

I was barely able to gather my thoughts through all the crying and sobbing I did that night. I was kind of a wreck today too, I just wanted to stay home. If I didn’t need groceries I would’ve stayed home haha..

After looking at others responses and all the overwhelming hope and comfort for everyone in the community I was finally able to find my anchor of comfort.

I found comfort in the fact that Alex is not hurting anymore from the physical pain and the fatigue that this most likely put him through. I found comfort in realizing that Alex is gone but he will live on forever through his impact, his memories, his friends, his family, and us; his community and fans. I found comfort in the fact that even if Alex isn’t here anymore we can still give our love to the community he built from the ground up and that this community has so much overwhelming support for one another. And lastly I found comfort in the fact that Alex had the absolutely audacity to create merch for his death, the actual craziness, hahaha man…Im gonna miss him.

The fact that he talked about it so casually too, this whole experience didn’t seem like big scary monster to him, he wasn’t scared. He was brave, and he was even joking about it, constantly—so much that he being worried made a lot of us less scared too. And I really appreciate that, he really cared for everyone he impacted.

We’re all going to miss him, so much, for so long. The grief from having someone of that emotional connection suddenly passing isn’t going to go away overnight, and that okay. We all deal with grief differently, but as long as we’re respectful of eachother and stick together we’ll be alright. Alex was an amazing individual, in the coming time that we all will be dealing with this I wish everyone in the community the best.

As long we keep these memories of him alive he’ll always be with us in some way and he will never fade away—besides I’d like to imagine he’d be pretty peeved off in heaven if any of us let that happen. We were so lucky to have him and he probably believes it was so astonishing that he had all of us. Rest well in the afterlife Alex, hope you have a nice view to watch all you’re loved ones.

Technoblade never dies

[books-and-catears]

I liked the one about a ghost MC it was a really cute idea! I wanted to request something similar, where the MC who has a the appearance of the Japanese slit mouthed woman. She is a regular human and you can decide if she got the scar's from an accident or not, but she always where's a face mask to hide it and eats alone rather then with the brothers. When she's asked why they say "People can't eat when I they see my face." But one day she finally trusts the brothers enough to show her face.

OH MY GOD I KNOW THIS GHOST. If I'm not wrong, this ghost is called the Kuchisake Onna, kuchi meaning mouth.

This is so wholesome I love it. Your asks are so adorable :')

It has been forever since the accident. And yet the scar makes it feel like yesterday. Two scars running up towards your cheeks, making it look like you're constantly smiling. You hated mirrors at this point, without your mask especially.

You hear loud talking from the dining room downstairs as you stare at your meal on your study table. When was the last time you ate a meal with other people?

"What do you mean you won't eat with us MC?" Mammon and Asmo parotted every other day.

"People can't eat when they see my face." You left with that reply, refusing to answer the follow up questions.

Yours was a face only a mother could love, they said. Some screamed, some smiled sympatheticallly, the others nervously scattered away from the last time you tried to eat out by yourself. The restaurant requested you to leave since they were losing customers.

You walk up to the stairway, watching the brothers in their usual chaos. Maybe - just maybe, they won't be repulsed. Surely they've seen more horrifying things than you?

"Um..." You cleared your throat loudly. All of them stopped and looked at you. You usually never showed up until half an hour after meals.

But today you called out to the one of them. "Would you mind eating with me tonight...?"

Lucifer

"Of course I wouldn't mind MC."

He promptly got up with his plate as if he was already prepped for this day. Swiftly follows you into your room.

He sat down across you and began eating normally. "Thank you for inviting me in MC. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Nothing just..." You said untying your mask. "It felt like a good day." The mask fell off your face into your lap.

You paused and stared at Lucifer. He only looked shocked for a split second before a hidden rage clouded beneath his eyes. "Did someone deliberately-"

"No it was an accident. I was getting my teeth fixed when the lights went out and I moved. And something cut through my- well you can see." You explained.

"I see. Well that's quite unfortunate." Lucifer said and began picking at his plate.

You felt uneasy as chewed your food."You can leave if you feel repulsed. I wouldn't force you to-"

"No such thing MC. I was just thinking of consulting Satan and Solomon. Surely they know of spells that can heal your scars if you want them gone." Lucifer replied promptly. "And it's going to take a lot more than scars to scare us demons away."

"Lucifer...thank you." You said quietly.

"If possible I'd like to eat dinner with you from now on, MC. Frankly it's much calmer and it's a relief from my brothers."

After a long time, you laugh without your mask on.

Mammon

"I'll be right there, MC!"

Hurriedly grabs whatever food he has making a mess and jumps to his feet. He is in such a hurry, it's a miracle he didn't drop half of his dinner.

He plops down across the table from you, grinning ear to ear. "Of course you'd choose the Great Mammon to eat with ya!"

You nodded and chuckled, "Of course. But would you choose to eat with me?" Your pulled your mask away from your face.

His eyes went wide and then watery in the same instant. Is he..crying? "I-Im sorry..." You feel horrible so you hurry and tie the mask back up. Mammon grabs your hands and holds them down.

"I'm not crying stupid human! I'm just...you..you must have been in pain..when that happened." He said. "Who did this to you..."

"It's okay it was an accident, Mammon." You try to calm him down.

"Then why do you hide it? It's not even your fault!" Mammon said pouting. You looked down, "People get uncomfortable..."

Mammon shot up from his chair. "WHO DARE MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT IT? Show me I'll get them all! Noone messes with my human! I'm yer protector ain't I?! You never have to wear that thing around me!"

You blushed as he moved forward and hugged you, burying your face into his shoulder. "Mammon..."

You knew he was the best protector out there.

Leviathan

"I'm coming right away, don't worry MC!"

Stumbles around with his plate at your sudden invitation. His day has come. He is the chosen one.

He struggles to sit down, feeling estatic and nervous at the same time. "I didn't think you'd want to eat with me of all people, MC..."

"After tonight, maybe you'll feel that way about me Levi..." You said, taking off your mask. His face lit up as he let out a loud "Woahhh!"

Thinking he was scared you tried to hide it again before he screamed, "MC you look just like my favourite character from that horror romance anime "I fell for my best friend's scarred smile! That's so cool!"

You blink at him, blushing. What is with him and his oddly specific anime names!? Levi was oblivious to your shock ,going off at his own tangent. "You could pull off the perfect cosplay, come to my room tomorrow I can design it for you and then I'll make my own to go with it and we can go to the next convention-"

"Levi Levi calm down you'll run out of breath!" You couldn't hold in your laughter.

He stared at you awestruck,"So cute...why would you hide that cute face MC?" You shake your head, "Not everyone sees it as cute Levi."

"Well sucks for them to be such stupid normies." Levi blushed and scoffed.

Levi was the best friend everyone deserves and you were glad to have him.

Satan

"I'd be delighted to join you MC."

Was slightly taken aback at first but quickly composes himself and his dinner and follows you. His pace faster than usual.

Pulls out your chair for you like a gentleman and sits down himself. You smile and blush at the action. "So how was your day MC?" He asks like a gentleman, avoiding the elephant in the room, choosing it normalise it. You let the mask fall off your face.

"Oh..." Satan sat up straight, his shoulders stiff, his eyes going wide in anger. "Who dared to-"

"No no no Satan it was an accident!" You had to explain the whole thing for him to calm down. Then he nodded and held out his palm. "May I see how the deep the scar is MC?"

That was new. Noone has wanted to touch your scars before. When you nod, he reaches out and runs his fingers softly across your scars. "Hmm don't worry. They're not too deep. I can have them gone in a matter of days. That is if you'd like to me to."

It's like he knew. As much as you hated that scar, it kind of helped you see people's true intentions. You looked down unsure. Satan held your hand. "It's normal to get attached to scars you have for too long. None of us here will treat you any differently with or without it."

You smiled at him and held one of his fingers playfully. He laughed, his cheeks turning pink. "Ah now that's a smile I'd love to see everyday. May I have dinner with you more often MC?"

"Of course." His words and his presence were always calming to you.

Asmodeus

"I was wondering when you'd ask MC!"

Daintily picks up all of things and paces after you. He was excited but he restrained himself but he didn't want to scare you off.

Sits down close to you, smiling gleefully. He's just happy to be there with you. Grabs something off your plate with a fork and holds it upto your mouth. "MC come here let me feed you!"

It was probably the most nerve wracking to open your mask in front of him. The Avatar of Lust, the most beautiful being in Hell, and you- ugh, what's the point? You've come this far, let's get it over with. You put your mask down, bite off the potato off his fork.

You'd think Asmo would probably gasp and act all dramatic and hysterical. But instead he cupped your face, his eyes filled with worry and tenderness. "MC how long have you had this...?"

"A little over three years." You answered honestly. Asmo looked like he was about to cry. "You've been hiding away your pretty face from people for three years..." Asmo pulled you in a hug. "Noone deserves that. It's too lonely."

"Oh I'd hardly call it pretty-" Before you can even retort, he is glaring and pouting at you, holding your shoulders.

"I think I know beauty a little better than you, MC. And I say you're gorgeous and I'm going to eat with you everyday now." Asmo huffed to which you laughed.

Everyone deserves a hypeman like Asmo in their lives.

Beelzebub

"Oh? Me? Sure MC!"

Is surprised but happily goes along with you with all his food. You know he loves you when he gets midway from eating just to eat in your room.

He sits across, already muching away at his food. "Thank you for asking me to eat with you MC." You nod and tentatively take your mask off, trying not to draw too much attention for it.

Beel looks up shocked, his mouth full of food but he stopped chewing. He involuntarily reaches out to touch you, "Does it hurt MC?"

You shake your head. "It's years old Beel. It's okay. " Beel looks genuinely relieved at that and goes back to eating again. He doesn't seem bothered by it at all after that.

"Say MC will you be free next week? I could use your help in the new workout I'm doing. I need to train particular muscles for the big game they said." He switched to a whole new topic just like that. "Also this means I get to eat with you every day right?"

You felt warm inside. You were more than just your scar and Beel made you feel like that by hardly saying anything at all.

Belphegor

"...me huh? No I wouldn't mind."

Has a smug grin on his face as he gathers up his meal and slowly heads upward with you, making sure his brothers see how you chose him over the others. Cheeky cow.

He sits leaning into you cause he's too lazy to sit up straight. "So what's the special occasion MC? A face reveal?" Wow this one is direct.

He is staring right at you, as you pull off the mask slowly, thinking if it was a bad idea. His eyes grow wide for a split second before his fingers are already near your mouth feeling the scars.

"Deliberate or accident?" He asks. "Accident." You answer. He nods, "Good. I'm too tired today, wouldn't be able to take appropriate revenge." His fingers never leave your face.

"Is that why you keep it covered? You're embarrassed of it?" He asks. You think about it for a while. "I think I accepted it, it just seemed to make people uncomfortable and scared, if I smiled or opened my mouth to eat." You answer.

He smirked. "Then smile more. Let their cowardly selves feel uncomfortable. It's their problem that they can't see how cute your smile is."

That was surprisingly thoughtful. You smiled at him. "Thanks..."

He smirked back, "Also I'm going to be eating here from now on. My brothers annoy me."

He's cheeky but he has a good heart. Smiling never felt so easy.