#god i need to stop yapping

[god-has-entered-my-body]

✨✍️🎨

thank you for this, you're golden xx

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

ohhh I have quite literally every single one saved so might as well post the ones i still kick my feet over to this day.

first comment i ever got was from Belle and i think i did actually writhe in my bed reading it, i didnt think anyone would actually see anything i put out. Also went insane and spammed my mate freaking out because its literally user sugar-coat-it in my replies.

having my literal fic idols comment on and reblog my stuff had me spamming @beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff literally so much it was insane i tell you. tumblr user wrestletotheground i screamed that day you're actually a total legend.

again. my longfic idol perceiving me is so mental i keep staring at it and it doesnt feel real??? like im just a fangirl at heart dont do this to me.

someone recommending my fics to HALLA and this being her reaction i think i stared at my phone for a solid minute before reacting by again, spamming my mates and going insane

this has become this weird gush fest please dont think im wanky i just dont do well with people i admire interacting with me in any capacity xx

✍️ What’s your ideal writing setup?

my laptop on my desk. super basic but i do make myself a cuppa and take my meds so i can focus on actually writing instead of browsing bdsm wikipedia for research purposes. also fics srsly dont help my smoking i go through like half a packet for every fic or chapter or whatever. I guess it sort of fits the vibe though? MPIND matty would be proud in his own weird way.

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

i dont think thats really a feasible concept for me, but I do imagine MPIND very vividly, and i think other people do too. I feel like MPIND and his whole fashion thing he has going on i think the outfits might be fun to draw?? i do have actual clothing picked out tucked away in a google doc that i think he's wear if he was real.

I'd love to see scenes like ones i've written on the terrace, or maybe the lighter scene come to life? To be completely honest, i havent read MPIND in a hot minute i genuinely forgot a lot of the plot/specific scenes i put in x

If anyone does ever make fanart, i will print it out and hang it above my bed to stare at in awe because someone putting in that effort is imperceivable for me

[joejhang]

the way the aftg fandom babies and uwufies jean is insane. like they see a man with so much trauma and their first instinct is to infantilise him. like "oh no jean can't see jeremy get angry or break down!" girl he is a grown-ass adult. stop treating him like he's fragile or a child just because he's deeply hurt. god.

[thiinka]

[pinetreespants]

Hello handsome~ What a day, hmm?

[sunsetsandsunshine]

~ 𝙻𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎~! ~

💜👻🧡👻💜👻🧡

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚃𝙸𝙲𝙺𝙻𝙴𝚃𝙾𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚈 𝟸: 𝙵𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝚂˚*• ̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊·̩̩̥͙

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟷,𝟺𝟿𝟻

𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝙳𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎 🐢💜

𝙻𝚎𝚛: 𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢 🐢🧡

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚜…𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚠?

(𝙰/𝙽: 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢: 𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢! 𝚃*𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸!!!)

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙲𝚞𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊���𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 <𝟹

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙷𝙴𝙴𝙴𝙴𝙴𝙴𝙷𝙴𝙴🕺🏾✨!!!˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

“Remind me why I’m here again?” Donnie said as he stood in the middle of his youngest brother’s room, crossing his arms and tapping his foot impatiently, “I have very very important work that I need to get to ASAP.” 

“Oho yeah?” Mikey giggled as he sat on his bed, resting his cheek on his palm, “What work?” 

Donatello huffed, glancing to the side of him, “Just plain old work, Mikey. Now tell me why I’m here so I can be on my merry way.” 

“With pleasure.” The box turtle grinned, going under his bed to get a closed cardboard box, “Y'know that since The Invasion I’ve been able to use my cool mystic hands sometimes, right?”

“I’m aware.” The older nodded. 

“Well, Barry’s been teaching me to control it and use it for the past couple of months. And I wanna see how much I’ve improved!” Michelangelo smiled, turning back to his brother.

The turtle in purple nodded in understanding, dropping his crossed arms as he put a hand on his hip, “So…where do I come to play in all of this?” The softshell asked.

“I wanna test how good I’ve gotten! And you’re the perfect person to test this tactic on.” The light scarlet eyed teen mused, turning back around to open the box, “And besides, you’ve been grumpy all week…you need this.” He mumbled to himself.

The scientist cocked his head to the side, “What was that last part?”

“Nothing!” The youngest said innocently, getting two feather’s from the box and giving them to his brother; one in each hand. 

“…Feathers.” Donnie deadpanned as he raised a confused brow.

“Feathers!” Mikey repeated. 

“…So…I’m just going to hold up these feathers for…how long?” The elder asked.

“Just hold the two feathers up and I’ll take care of the rest!” The smaller turtle smiled, a small orange hue glowing around a singular feather in the box. 

The now orange hued feather floated towards the softshell, gliding across his right side.

Donnie let out an embarrassing short squeal, dropping his arms as me marched over to his brother on the bed. Mikey raised an amused eye ridge, floating another feather to his older brother’s other side.

The purple banded turtle bit his lip, squirming as his knees buckled together. “I-I did— GHK! I-I did no— HNGK!! I did n-not agree t-t-to this!!!” He seethed. 

“Uhuh…yehes you did.” Mikey snickered, “I’d advise you to keep your arms up, big bro.”

“A-And why— ACK! Is that?!” Donatello glared.

“Well you see…if you put your arms down I’d have nooooo choice but to take the feathers you’re holding and let them join their friends in tickle tickle tickling you~!” The scarlet eyed teen smiled sweetly.

“WHAT?!” The young scientist gasped, going back to stomping to his baby brother, “Mikey I hAVE w-work to do and I— AUGH!!!” He screeched, going to the ground as the two floating feather’s made their way to his ribs. “Nohoh! Cohohome ohan!!” 

Donnie shook his head whilst kicking his legs on the carpet, trying to not give his brother the reactions he was seeking.

The softshell had work to do! He didn’t have time for these foolish games…!

But underneath his cursing and scowls…he really did enjoy this— I mean whaaaaat…? Now who said that?!

“Ihi HAHATE YOHOU!!” The purple banded teen shouted as his little brother glided the feather’s across his underarms, “YOHOU’RE E-EHEEVIL! THIHIS IHIS EHEEVIL IHI SAHAHAY!!”

“Is it really~?” The box turtle hummed. 

“YEHES! YEHES IHIT— hic IHIS!” The other laughed, shooting his arms down and hugging his middles, the two feather’s he was once holding now on the floor. 

“Uh oh~! You put your arms down, Dee~! Y'know what that means~!” The youngest teased, a light and sparkly orange hue now surrounding the two dropped feathers, the both of them tauntingly floating around the taller turtle.

“Now~! Where should they go~?” The smaller turtle teasingly asked.

The young genius shook his head frantically, “NOHOWHERE! F-FUHUHUCKING NOHOWHERE!” 

“Mr. and Mrs. Feather don’t like your cussing, Don-bon~!” 

“WEHELL TEHEHELL THEM— hic! TOOHOO FUHUCK OHOHOFF!!” Donnie hiccuped as he kicked his feet helplessly on the ground; trying to at least get the feathers off.

Another wonderful reason for him to hate mystic stuff…

“Dee~! Your arms aren’t raised~! Raise them up for me, please~!” The orange banded mutant mused.

“NOHOH! NOHOH WAHAY IHIN HEHELL!!” The light golden eyed teen squawked.

“No~?” Mikey taunted as he grazed a single feather across Donnie’s shell with his mystic powers, “EEEEHEEEP!! OKAHAY! OKAHAHAY! KEEHEEP THAHAT AWAHAHAY!!”

“Then put your arms up!” The younger said innocently, moving the feather’s down to the other’s plastron area. 

The young genius groaned through his giggles, clenching his teeth as he begrudingly raised his arms up above his head once again, “Cohohount yohour hic dahahays…” 

“Uno reverse, Donald.” The box turtle grinned, making four more feathers glide all across the softshell’s tummy. 

“GYAHAH— hic!! MYHYHY hic! NO! NOHO NONOHAHAH— hic!! GEHET THEHEM AHAHOUT!! GEHET THEHEM AHAHOUT!!” 

“Whaaaat~?” Michelangelo hummed.

“G-GEHEHET THEHEM AHA— hic! OHOHOUT!!!” The elder cried, stomping his feet repeatedly on the ground as he struggled to keep his arms up.

“But why, Tickle Tello~?” The box turtle mutant cooed, slowly walking over to his brother.

The purple banded turtle’s face turned a bright red at the tease; not even trying to put on a tough face facade anymore as he caved into the tickles, “DOHOHON’T hic CAHALL MEEHEE THAHAT hic hic YOHOU ASSHOLE!!”

“Okay, Tickle-Tello.” The smaller teen smiled innocently, sitting next to his older brother that was laughing his absolute shell off.

“Do you remember what we agreed on~?” Michelangelo asked. 

“NOHO— hic! N-NOHOH PUHUHUTTING MY AHARMS DOWN!! IHI GAHAT IHI— hic!! IHIHIT!!!” The light golden eyed teenager squawked. 

“Oh? Then why are you, hm~?” The youngest asked as he pinched the other’s hip mercilessly, resulting in the taller one to shoot his arms down almost immediately, pushing on his brother’s wrists. 

Donnie understood the rules…he really did! 

But this was just plain unfairness at this point.

“MIHI— hic! THAHAHAT’S CHEEHEEATING YOHOU— hic! B-BIHIG CHEEHEEATER!!!” Donnie squealed, his glasses falling off of his face due to the fact he was wriggling snd giggling so much.

The art loving turtle giggled, casually yawning and stretching as if there wasn’t someone literally dying of laughter beside him. 

“It’s not my fault you put your arms down.” Mikey commented smugly.

“YEHEHES IT hic IHIS!! IHIT IS!! IT hic IHIHIS— hic IT IHIHIHIS!!!” Donatello howled. 

“Oh? Is it~?” The box turtle asked, wiggling his fingers above his older brother’s thighs. The purple banded mutant’s eyes widened as he kicked his legs desperately on the floor in a small attempt to keep his little brother away…

…But who is he kidding?

When has that ever worked?  

“NAHAH— hic! NAHAHO!! AHANGEHELO hic hic PLEHEASE I-IHI’M SOHO hic SORRY!! Hic HAHAVE MERCY!!!” The softshell screamed as he hugged his middles tighter.

Mikey snickered lightly at the other’s plead, squeezing his brother’s thighs as the other threw his head back in complete hysterics. 

Happy tears rolled down Donnie’s face as his hands curled to fists, banging on the carpet floor as his legs stomped.

“Awe~! Someone looks like they’re having fun~!” Michelangelo giggled. 

“IHIHI’M NAHAHAT!!” The taller turtle protested loudly.

“You sure~?”

“YEHE— HIC!! YEHEHES MYHY GAHAHAD!!!”

“You positive~?”

“YEHEHES!!!”

“D'aww…that’s a shame~! Maybe this’ll help~!” The younger cooed in a fake pity voice as he lightly nibbled on his brother’s stomach whilst kneading the softshell’s thighs. 

The softshell in question wheezed loudly in result, pushing on the other’s plastron as the feathers quickened in speed, “OHOHAH— HIC!! MYHYHY GAHAHAD YOHOU AHARE HIC SUHUCH HIC AHAN AHASSHOHOLE!!!”

“And you’re digging yourself into an even deeper hole.” Michelangelo retorted as his elder brother let out the most loudest squeal known to man. 

“MIHIHIKEY!!!” Donnie cried.

“Yeeeeees~?” The youngest smirked.

“EEHEE— HIC!!! EEHEENOUGH! HIC EHENOUGH! E-EHENOHOUGH!!!” 

“Aw~!! But I didn’t even get to tickle your shell yet~!” The other pouted, wriggling his fingers near the taller’s shell.

“MIHICHELAHAHANEGLO!!!” The older screeched. 

“Okahay, okay, drahahama queen.” The scarlet eyed mutant chuckled, snapping his fingers which resulted in all the feather’s going back into the box. 

The smallest turtle helped his brother up, giving him a small glass of water he got prior. “Lihihike Ihi hic sahahaid: cohount. yohour. dahahays.” Donatello grumbled through his giggles.

The orange banded turtle rolled his eyes fondly, putting the now closed box underneath his bed once again, “Oh~? So does that mean you wouldn’t wanna help me the next time I practice my mystic powers?”

“…I-I nehever sahaid thahat…” The light golden eyed teen huffed.

“Soooooo, same time next week?” The smaller teen grinned knowingly.

“…Whahatever.” The taller said, quickly turning away and leaving the room to try and hide the evident genuine smile slowly morphing to his face. 

Michelangelo rolled his eyes fondly, sitting on his bed as he scrolled through his phone ever-so casually, “Same time next week it is, then.” 

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙵𝙸𝙽˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ 

(𝙿.𝚂.: 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐!!!)

[lale-txt]

FUCKKKK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE FUCKKKK FIFLLLL FUKCCCC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUKCCCKKKKKK NO ONE TALK TO MEEE I CANT DO THISDDD ASDFJFKDLDLW

[yawn-zi]

😭😭

three’s a (choi) charm! ˙ ⋆ . ˚ ☆

25. FALLING IN LOVE.

warnings: fully written, angst and fluff.

here you are with beomgyu. he’s been going through too much and he needed time to get away without leaving korea, so you’ve decided to help him as you also need the time away.

besides that, you and beomgyu had a fight over who should drive the car… let’s just the fight was useless. you ended up behind the wheel just like you wanted. you wanted to take beomgyu to a surprise location as the both of you share a love for sunsets.

with this information, you decided to take him to a beach during the time you knew there would be nobody there except the people working. mingyu used to take you here to clear your mind during your time away from school and it helped so much that it was the first thing that came to mind when beomgyu came to you with his issue.

“we’re here,” you say to beomgyu, who’s been on his phone almost the whole ride. he was still a bit sulky from the fact that you wouldn’t let him drive but he quickly got over it once he saw the destination.

he seemed like he was going to say something but was soon caught off guard by his own reaction to the beach. a short exclaim of awe comes from him, causing you to smile.

“i’m guessing you like it?” you ask, mockingly. he simply just nods his head and reaches for the door handle to see outside better. you shortly follow after him, watching as he walks around the car slowly, in awe at the sight in front of him.

you walk around to the trunk, taking out a small basket and picnic blanket. walking back to beomgyu, he catches a glimpse of your hands, reaching out to help you lighten the weight on you. you smile in thanks, following behind him as he walks to where he wants to sit with a warm smile on his face.

he carefully lays out the blanket, covering the ends in sand to keep it from flying away. he gently taps the spot next to him, motioning you to sit down next to him.

you seat yourself next to him, placing the basket in between the two of you. you both begin watching as the waves sway with the wind, beautifully moving towards the dry sand.

beomgyu sighs happily, “this was definitely needed.” he says, looking over at you watching the sun as it slowly descends into the clouds. you nod your head at his comment, “definitely. i needed this as much as you did, life’s been rough lately.”

he nods his head, head dropping down towards the basket and opening it. he peeks inside, soon reaching for the strawberries you packed. you look over at him and begin reaching for one.

he hands you one, watching your reaction to see if they’re actually good. as you softly groan at the taste, he decides to also try one. the delicious burst of flavor takes him by surprise as his eyes roll back in delight.

“woah, these are delicious, y/n!” he says, reaching for more. “i know right! they’re from the fruit market by my house, i didn’t know they were so good.”

after a few strawberries and watching the sun, you finally speak up. “has everything been okay since they’ve left?” and to your delight, beomgyu wasn’t caught off guard by the sudden question.

he shake his head no, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. “i’m still not sure how to feel. yeah, i’m sad and angry with myself but i really want to know if i’m the only reason why they left, specifically soobin— i didn’t think he was too bothered by it but when i saw them arguing the day i was singing, i couldn’t help but feel intrigued… you know, curious to know what was going on?”

you hum, “i was curious too, but i didn’t want to get involved considering it’s definitely not my business, but i just wanted them to figure everything out… i didn’t think they would go as far as to leaving korea,” you reply, saddened.

beomgyu nods, agreeing with you. he shows you his phone, showing the messages he’s tried sending both soobin and yeonjun on different days. “even though they’ve both blocked me, i still hope this message somehow reaches them. it definitely won’t but, it’s the thought that counts, you know.”

you rub his shoulder, trying to empathize with him. you two sit in silence for a while before beomgyu mentions that yeonjun called him before he got on his plane, saying that he can have you and he’s done with the “competition”. as the words leave his mouth, you feel a wave of sadness wash over you.

you don’t know why you feel sad but you also know exactly why. yeonjun was genuine and you never wanted to hurt him or be the cause of his pain. you can’t help but remember the kiss you two shared, which you ended up telling him you regretted and never told him otherwise once you had the chance to speak to him again. you know that definitely took a toll on him with how much he genuinely liked you.

you never had the chance to tell him that you didn’t mean it and you longed for him to kiss you again.

you never had the chance to tell him that you missed his kind conversation and words of encouragement.

you never had the chance to reciprocate his words.

you never had the chance to tell him how much of a great person he was, flaws and all, if there was any.

you never had the chance to tell him how much you loved him, for all that he was and all he had.

shaking these thoughts away, you bring your focus back to beomgyu. not realizing that he’s been sitting in silence, with his head in his hands and his hair disheveled from how many times he’s ran his hands through it.

you rest your head on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his torso. you try your best to comfort him but to him, this means everything. he’s been needing someone to just hug him and sit in silence with him.

none to your surprise, beomgyu begins sobbing softly. you bring his body to your lap, softly running your hands through his hair. watching as his eyes pool with tears, you feel your eyes begin to water as well.

nobody can feel what beomgyu’s been feeling these past few weeks, the immense amount of stress and pain he’s been feeling. nothing can amount to his ability to keep his strength intact.

you’re now sobbing along with him, which he catches. he rises from your lap, embracing you in a tight hug. the hug you two share is filled with comfort and love. beomgyu rests his head on your shoulder, crying into your shirt as you do the same.

at this rate, you’re both releasing guttural sobs and just hoping to get through it. your pain obviously doesn’t meet beomgyu’s level in any universe but you feel for him. having someone be mad at you to the point where l they do is ignore you and go days on end without talking to you.

having someone be so disgusted with you that they can only hope you see what they see and it hurts like hell.

you understand him.

having his older cousin, his support, his own blood be disgusted by him and his actions is the worst thing in the world to him. he doesn’t know what to do or how to fix it, he doesn’t even know if he can. he wishes that he can reverse the time and all of this would’ve never happened, even if it means that he never matched with you.

his sobs are much louder than they were before and it worsens how you feel. its almost as if he’s thinking the exact things you’re thinking, he feels terrible about himself. he knows he crossed the line with what he said to yeonjun, he knows he should’ve kept everything to himself, he’s been wishing for the past few weeks that yeonjun and soobin would just come back and forgive him but he also knows that’s not what’s going to happen and it makes him sick to his stomach.

he’s trapped himself in his room and cried to himself, telling himself that he’s an asshole, that he needs to disappear, that he would do absolutely anything for his cousins to come back and just be happy, even if it means for them be to happy without him. he wants to try and put it all behind him but he can’t, he just can’t.

all the things he said to yeonjun haunts him, knowing that yeonjun was feeling exactly how he felt in this exact moment. knowing beomgyu’s words were the last thing he ever heard from him because he never had the proper chance to apologize. he was too late.

yeonjun had already reached his breaking point and he wasn’t hearing anyone out, not even his own cousin. no matter how bad he wanted to hear the words “i’m sorry” leave beomgyu’s mouth, he didn’t care anymore. he didn’t want to continue hurting over a girl and definitely did not want to continue having to cry himself to sleep with the words from his own blood being “you disgust me”.

yeonjun was disgusted by himself. now beomgyu is, too.

and it’s gotten so bad to the point that not even soobin cared to help anymore, he decided to leave too. he accepted his fate with yeonjun and decided to take his leave.

beomgyu didn’t even try to stop them because he knew.

it was all his fault.

beomgyu’s hold on you has gotten much tighter and you continue holding him, knowing how much he needs it. he’s stopped crying but he’s back to sobbing and sniffling. you rub his head softly, sniffling along with him.

he slowly rises from your shoulder, wiping his eyes softly and resting his head between his knees. you rub his back gently, comforting him quietly.

“i’m sorry— for the big stain,” he mutters. you smile softly, “no worries, i know you needed to let that all out. i’m sorry for the big stain as well.” you say.

he smiles sadly, going back to watching the sun. you follow his lead and do the same, knowing the sound of the waves will calm you both.

he sighs, closing his eyes and basking in the soft sunlight.

“thank you, y/n.” he says. it catches you slightly off guard but you know what he means, he means thanking for helping him clearing his mind.

you smile softly, “you’re welcome, beomgyu. i’ll always be here to help whenever you need me.”

“warts and all?”

“warts and all.”

the time you’ve been with beomgyu, you’ve felt something. you don’t know what it is but from your knowledge… you think you feel yourself falling in love with beomgyu.

MASTERLIST ☆ NEXT ★ PREVIOUS

TAGLIST: @https-yeonjun, @sugaringgcaramel, @boba-beom, @ur-mother-realnotclickbait, @yawn-zi, @txtbrainrot, @soobsfairy444, @wonunuwoo, @coconutjjun, @headlockimnida, @dinosluver, @gwookie, @yourenzoo, @bunnyeonny, @eclipse-777, @lun4kazumii, @h00nerz, @soobjvn, @bam2gyuuuu, @gardnhee, send an ask or shoot me a dm to be added! ^^ (bold — can’t be tagged)

A/N: wrote this while listening maze in the mirror… made me cry a little while reading over it 😕 anywho, enjoy reading!!

[klutzytomb]

I never thought I'd say this, but there's no way I'm one of the only ones here that isn't chronically online. Right? Right??

[nicomoon69]

urgh angel devil brainworms but its js me thinking abt what other things from the christian canon would be as devils

[the-girl-down-the-street]

every time james vowles says anything about logan and his performance i get closer and closer to committing a very violent crime

[myrquez]

i know dovquez is supposed to be the nice comfort ship or whatever but its even better when.. it is not.

and here i go rambling because

i’ll never be over dovi being So possessive and going all like ducati is mine nobody is going to take it away from me and. never settling for anything LESS really. dear petty impossibly stubborn possessive dovi. And. marc being haunted as per usual but not in a desperate and nostalgic way more like. i’m gonna be the most annoying brat you’ll ever met in your life and its gonna be even worse than any on track criminal offense bc you’re not acting as you should and im not used to it and this is pissing me off bc i cannot really control it so i’ll make you go grey right at the temples just to see how long it will take for you to reveal yourself and fucking explode or something. hate me. bruise me. ruin me. anything. and dovi isn’t pleased with it because he must be tired of playing by someone else’s rules. and ruin him he does.. but in a different way.. bc its dovi and he got all of the aces up his sleeve. he just knows how to make marc crumble, taking him by surprise bc nothing is ever predictable. not merciless but undaunted i mean. relentless. he knows how to put marc back under him in some swift, unprompted moves.. keep him there on a leash eventually, tightening or releasing it just when its needed.. so that nobody can take marc away from him anymore…

[iholli]

me when all my selfships are very popularly shipped with other characters (I hate canon sharing)

[joejhang]

bro some of the aftg police gotta calm down and just let the characters (neil josten) be cunts.

[drwafton]

Made fanart of you-

I'm sorry if this version of you I made you a God-

"I have to say this art is well done! I wouldn't exactly call myself a god though. Still I appreciate it."

[theusernameiwantisntavailable]

Persona 5/ Persona 5 royal spoilers ahead!

Okay so I did this WIP a while back that I discontinued but I'm still going insane about the meaning of it and also the symbolism of masks in this game and also akeshu parrallels so I need to Yap abt them

Yap session under the cut!

The symbolism of masks in this game drives my so batshit insane actually. Like. So often we see in media that people are finally free when they take their mask off (both metaphorically and literally) but in this game we see people's true forms when they put one ON.

Like the palaces are where we see people's true faces and desires. It's the place where no one can hide who they are. And yet it's one one place where you wear a physical mask and disguise and have to conceal who you are.

I could (and will at some point) write an entire essay about that but rn it's akeshu hours

Because Joker is arguably the best example of that, he becomes alive in the palaces, where his face his hidden. It's his freedom

Versus Akechi

The first time we see Akechi show his true form to Joker (and the player) is in what is percieved at the time as the real world. The entire time we work together in the palace, the place that shows who you are despite the mask you wear he hides who he is. It's only in the gritty real world that he reveals himself.

Joker in the real world is perceived (at least by people outside of his circle) as closed off and someone to be cautious around, he has a criminal record so he could be dangerous. The exact opposite of how he is in palaces, the centre of the team and a flame people are drawn towards

VERSUS AKECHI

In the real world he is a celebrity, he is loved, people are drawn to him. But in palaces he's cold and heartless, his words are cutting and he cares for no one, not hesitating to kill to achieve his goal

Opposites in every sense

THE ABSOLUTE PARALLELS IT DRIVES ME INSANEASHBANANSJAKSS

They were both ruined by the same man. They both ended up in their current predicament because of said man. They both had the potential to weild multiple personas. They both have the capability to lead. They are the exact same and yet the exact opposite

They don't need to lie awake at night and wonder what would they be like if their life had turned out slightly differently. They don't need to because they have each other. EVERYTIME THEY GO INTO A PALACE THEY SEE WHO THEY COULD'VE BEEN, THEY FIGHT WITH THAT PERSON SIDE BY SIDE EVERY NIGHT I'M GOING MAD

[lautity]

omg how did you guess i think about her.....steps in front of username to cover it. ignore that

edit from after this was written: i am so sorry. i am so so so sorry for this. it's like a whole fic i have no one else to say this to bc no onecares about them HAJKDSAHKSJHD i am . shaking. so sorry. omg. don't hate me

anyway you are so correct ARHJHKS pathetic autistic lesbian who grew up alienated from her peers bc she was "weird" and ppl didn't wanna be friends with her....until zoey came along and actually tolerated her (used her) and turned her into a dog basically.

she'd do anything for zoey....anything..........they are so homoerotic codependent friendship coded. zoey is MOST DEFINITELY in love with hailey but in like a very unhealthy "my feelings for you make me look weak so i need to make you weak by treating you like this" (plus zoey is just a bitch to everyone in general)

and hailey just takes it. bc she admires zoey so much. like she canonically sees her as a mentor. even though they're likely the same age. and yes yes she is in love with zoey because who wouldn't be. who wouldn't fucking fall for the only person who ever like. talked to her. who sings so well and acts so well and controls every room she enters. who has the power over people hailey could only dream to have one day......and also she's SO hot

NOW. THOUGH. it is canon that they have a third roommate. what if i told you it was greenpeace girl herself - harmony jones. (not canon. not even hinted at)

i just think. harmony is soo passionate about the environment. passionate in general. also autistic. good at masking though. but takes no shit. she's the first person zoey can't manipulate or degrade and it SUCKS. she's like 5'10 to me and basically towers over zoey of she's wearing her huge thrifted black boots. and it makes her so flustered and SO angry

and like. it is pretty funny to intimidate hatchetfield's favorite knockoff regina george. zoey passes her in the hallway and actually has to look up to meet harmony's dumb stupid sparkly gorgeous eyes......and harmony just smirks.........and zoey like. regains her composure. tears her eyes away and hisses "get out of my way" and practically sprints to her room. slams the door. and harmony calls after her "sorry princess" and zoey is so angry and flustered she bites a pillow not to scream

hailey and harmony are soo special too. harmony sees hailey, because she's willing to. she likes listening to her ramble. she likes seeing her happy & not constantly hiding herself in fear of being abandoned again. she is soooo down bad for hailey she'd do anything for her.

sounds like a pretty weird roommate dynamic right. WRONG. polyamory beam.

hailey looks at harmony like she carries the stars in her eyes. harmony looks at her the same. zoey is added into this and feels a little out of place. for the FIRST TIME in her life, zoey chambers feels out of place.

hailey and harmony make a huge effort though. because they are also still very much down bad for this bitch.

harmony just has like.....zoey on a leash. a mean lesbian with an even meaner lesbian on a leash. zoey eventually leans into it. her new role of being harmony's pretty princess........

she starts being less cruel to hailey. she's still like a bitch, that's just in her nature, but there's sweetness to it.....she makes an effort to learn stuff about hailey. hobbies and favorite musicals and all that. she learns that hailey can actually be kinda sorta cool (in a lame way) if she's not constantly biting her tongue.

staring at you really hard like a cat. they (you) could never make me hate you zazz haileydilmore.

i am actually really obsessed with 'in love with her, but not as an equal'. princess and handmaid coded. fondness but its buried under so much scorn. you Could tell her. and it'd probably make her more devoted. but she'd already do anything for you, so why give her that leverage?

there's this specific feeling some people (especially like. popular hot girls. lol) give you where they make you feel important. like. just by being around you, by deeming you worth their time, they're calling you special. even if they aren't actually being nice to you. unspoken affection of letting you stay close to them. it's like a really fun addictive feeling and i think hailey is always chasing that from zoey

harmony teaching hailey that she deserves so so much better than how zoey treats her.......i don't think that would be immediate but it would be like. a slow build-up of being less and less comfortable w/ zoey's demands before she finally flat-out refuses to do something. probably with a "you aren't even nice to me, zoey. I don't think you ever have been."

i think....zoey hates seeing harmony and hailey happy together at all it makes her So Mad because she had hailey first. and she's been stolen. by what? being kind??

the Entire Time zoey is ruminating on this harmony and hailey are both trying to kind of invite her in and be like hey we arent mad at you we should probably all talk (The Polyamory Talk™. zoey does not know this i dont think). but zoey is both upset/jealous and maybe a little tiny bit worried that she'll fuck up whatever they have. because she does maybe feel the littlest bit bad about hurting hailey. a little bit. because there is actually something nice about this happier, more confident, more assertive hailey. maybe she feels a miniscule amount of guilt that she was the reason she was miserable for so long.

they do finally ask her out and shes so out of her element waugh......because yeah harmony has her whipped.

+ ur so right zoey is never nice, persay, but harmony definitely dulls some of her edges and she's a lot more able to say things with affection rather than spite. and harmony's reign ushers in clear communication (or else), so when zoey has issues with hailey there is no more passive-aggressive comments that leave her spiralling

ugh i think zoey wld still snap at hailey sometimes and harmony always mediates.....theres something kind of fun about hamony being a protector. maybe zoey feels a little left out sometimes because of this, like she's the third or the spare or the least wanted. not a feeling shes used to! of course they reassure her that this is not true. but maybe she makes a bit more of an effort with her temper, anyways. you understand