#i jest
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Giggling kicking my feet!!!
Early seasons Spencer’s gf joining the team and quickly realizing just how used to Spencer she is bc the rest of the team’s reactions to him are so different from hers
Cinnamon Sticks - S.R
a/n: obsessed with the idea of baby spencie having a gf who just gets him while he's still an awkward, nerdy little genius! thanks for requesting bestie so sorry it took so long i am the worst LOL
masterlist
pairings: early!seasons!spencer reid x fem!reader
warnings: established relationship, secret relationship, relationship being exposed bc these two are just so in love
wc: 1.7k
Garcia burst into the bullpen like some sort of whirlwind that was painted in neon, her scarf fluttering behind her almost like a cape. She juggled a precariously full cup of coffee, while her phone teetered between ear and shoulder as if testing the limits of human dexterity.
"I swear to all that is holy, if my life doesn't slow down in the next five minutes--"
The sentence derailed as she misjudged her pace, the coffee sloshing dangerously close to the rim of the cup. She stopped abruptly, her arms a flurry of motion, but not quick enough to stop the scalding liquid from spilling over and searing her fingers.
"Oh, fantastic! Just what I needed!" she huffed, waving her hand like it might stop the sting.
She threw herself into the closest chair with a huff, slumping back and fixing the coffee cup with a murderous glare, like this was just another tally in a long line of grievances.
Your eyes darted up from your work, only for a moment, enough to confirm what you already knew. You hadn't been working here long, but it was long enough to recognize the phenomenon that was Garcia: a blur of motion and words, mid-rant before anyone had the chance to catch up. It was like clockwork really.
You risked a glance across the desk at Spencer, who was so absorbed in his notebook it was a wonder he even remembered to breathe. If Garcia's antics registered as white noise to anyone, it was him. But then, almost like he had a radar for being watched, he looked up, catching your gaze.
His eyebrows lifted into a subtle what can you do? expression, and you couldn't help but smile back.
That was the thing about Spencer. He had this uncanny knack for knowing exactly what you were thinking, almost as if he had a cheat sheet for your brain. And maybe he did--like his brain worked three times faster than everyone else's in the room (which, let's face it, it definitely did). But instead of that being intimidating, it was oddly reassuring.
"At this rate, I'm one bad email away from alphabetizing my entire pantry for stress relief."
Spencer's notebook hit the desk, and there it was--the shift. His shoulders drew back, face lighting up--the kind of thing that signaled his mini-lecture was incoming.
"Organizing your pantry is actually a practical stress management technique. By categorizing items, you create a structured environment that reduces decision fatigue. Its why people feel calmer in tidy spaces, it's psychological."
Morgan held up a hand. "Psychological, huh? Sounds like you’re just trying to justify your weird love affair with labels, pretty boy.”
“Don’t forget,” you added absently, flipping a page in your report, “it also saves time when you’re cooking. I think you called it practical efficiency."
The words slipped out without much thought, but as soon as they did, the bullpen stilled. You glanced up, heart sinking as you saw every face turned in your direction.
Morgan’s grin was the first thing you notice--wide and knowing, stretching across his face. He tilted his head, eyes bouncing between you and Spencer like he was putting pieces together in real time.
“Wait a minute,” he said, sitting forward with a gleam in his eye. “Did you just quote him? Like, word for word?”
Your cheeks heated instantly. “What? No. I mean—maybe. I don’t know.”
“Pretty sure you did,” Morgan shot back, smirking. “Man, what else has he been teaching you? You got the periodic table memorized too?”
You rolled your eyes, leaning back in your chair. “Oh, please. If you’ve been around Spencer long enough, you’re bound to pick up a few things. He’s like a walking encyclopedia.”
“Well,” Spencer said, his head tilting slightly as he spoke, “your cinnamon sticks always end up at the back of your pantry. That’s why I figured you might appreciate the idea of organizing by use frequency. Like I said, practical efficiency.”
The moment the words left his mouth, you knew he’d made a tactical error.
Garcia gasped, her eyes lighting up like she’d just been handed the juiciest piece of gossip of her life.
“Oh. My. God. Spencer Reid, how exactly do you know what the back of her pantry looks like?”
You froze, rooted to the spot as the realization hit you like a cartoon anvil. This was bad.
Spencer’s expression mirrored yours for half a second—wide-eyed panic—but he quickly scrambled for an answer.
“It’s, um… a logical assumption,” he stammered, his fingers toying with the pen in his hand, a nervous tell he couldn’t quite suppress. “Spices like cinnamon sticks always seem to migrate to the back of the pantry unless there’s an intentional system in place.”
Morgan let out a long, low whistle, rocking back in his chair with enough force to make it creak. His grin was insufferably smug, the kind that practically begged for something to be thrown at him.
“Nice save. But I don’t think Garcia’s buying it.”
Garcia tapped her chin, clearly enjoying herself far too much. “Oh, no, no, no. This is too good. I mean, logical assumption my fabulous behind! Cinnamon sticks in the back of her pantry? Really? What’s next? A detailed analysis of how she stacks her cereal boxes?”
You laughed, though it sounded more like a bark than anything natural. “You’re all reading way too much into this. Spencer just knows weirdly specific things about, well, everything. That’s kind of his thing, remember?”
“Mmhmm,” Garcia hummed, clearly unconvinced. “Alright, genius, I’ll let it slide this time. But I’m watching you.”
“Please don’t,” Spencer muttered under his breath, earning a round of laughter from the team.
Garcia spent a solid ten minutes in full interrogation mode after that, her eyes narrowing with each and every pointed question she lobbed your way. Morgan, of course, was no help. He leaned back, grinning like a kid with a front-row seat to the circus, his smirk practically screaming that he knew they were this close to striking a nerve.
Spencer and you had been so careful. You'd been dating long before you joined the BAU, but the moment Hotch had called to offer you the position, you both knew you'd have to keep things under wraps. Dating a coworker was one thing; dating Spencer Reid, a genius with an accidentally too-honest mouth, was an entirely different challenge.
You hadn't expected it to be this hard, though. Keeping the secret wasn't the worst part--it was pretending he wasn't the center of your universe every time you walked into the room. It was keeping your hands to yourself when all you wanted to do was smooth out the messy strands of hair that always fell into his eyes. It was biting your tongue when someone interrupted his long-winded tangents because the truth was, you loved hearing him talk.
The hours stretched on, and the bullpen slowly thinned out. Garcia was the first to leave, blowing a kiss to the room. Morgan left soon after, pausing to flash you one last grin before disappearing. Even Prentiss packed up for the night, muttering something about needed an extra shot of espresso tomorrow morning.
"You handled that well."
You looked up from your report to find Spencer by your desk, one hand tucked into his pocket, the other skimming lightly along the edge of the divider. His expression was surprisingly soft, almost bashful, as though he had been waiting to get you alone.
"Handled that well?" you repeated, raising an eyebrow. "You were the one who almost blew it, Spencer. Cinnamon sticks? Really?"
He smiled, lips twitching upward as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Okay, I'll admit that wasn't my most subtle moment. But in my defense, they do end up at the back of most pantries."
You couldn't help but laugh, shaking your head as you leaned back in your chair.
"We're lucky Garcia got distracted. If she'd pushed any harder..." Your voice drifted into a soft sigh. "That could've been bad."
"That was a close one."
The quiet that followed wasn't uncomfortable, but it felt a little more substantial, if that was the word, filled with that soft ache that always bloomed in your chest when he was near.
Spencer stepped closer, his hand brushing against the edge of your desk. His body angled toward you, like even when you weren’t touching, he couldn’t help but gravitate toward you.
“You know,” he said, his voice softer now, “I don’t think she actually suspects anything. But we should probably be more careful.”
"Probably," you replied, drawing out the word in a teasing, sing-song tone. “Unless you’d rather keep showing off how ridiculously well you know me.”
His cheeks flushed a soft pink, but he didn’t look away. Instead, that shy, boyish smile—the one that always made you a little breathless—spread across his lips.
"That's going to be hard," he admitted, voice barely above a whisper. "I noticed a lot about you."
The words hit you like they always did--soft enough, but with the force of a thousand butterflies taking flight in your chest. You could feel the flush creeping up to your neck, and you mentally cursed him for how easily he was able to do this to you.
"You're lucky I like you."
His smile widened, and his eyes crinkled at the corners in that way they only came out at specific moments. Like when he successfully performed a card trick for the team or when he stumbled across an original copy of a book at a library sale.
The same one you'd seen when he talked about his mom on her good days, or when you asked him on a date.
You leaned forward. "And since I like you, any chance you'd want to kiss me right now?"
"How could I not, with you looking at me like that?"
The angle was clumsy--your chair too low, his frame leaning awkwardly over--but all of that melted away the second his hands found your face. His thumbs brushed soft circles against the place where your cheek met your jaw.
His lips were soft against yours at first, testing, before growing firmer, more sure. The kind of confidence that came with a hundred familiar kisses before.
Time seemed to slow, or at least for you it did, the rest of the world nonexistent.
The sound of a throat clearing broke the spell, and you jerked back from Spencer, your chair wobbling slightly as you turned toward the sound. You immediately regretted it--your lips felt swollen, your face hot, and there was Prentiss, leaning against the doorframe.
"We were... uh, testing something," you blurted, avidly avoiding eye contact. "You know, like... oxygen exchange! For scientific purposes."
Spencer blinked, then mumbled, "Oxygen exchange? That's the best you got?"
"Shut it," you hissed through gritted teeth, not daring to look at him.
Prentiss arched a brow. "Relax, lovebirds. If this is your idea of scientific research, I'll make sure Garcia doesn't find out. You're welcome."
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#so so cute#love it#spencer reid fluff#if only he was real#guys what if they made the job Spencer Reid does real#I jest#LAUGH
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I really like the interpretation that Astarion's so full of shit when he throws the corny, totally fake, "I've been waiting since the moment the moment I laid eyes on you..." Line.
Like "har har, the moment he holds a knife to your throat?"
Yeah. The moment he throws you on the ground and holds a knife to your throat. In an unfamiliar place after a traumatic experience. Where you have a knife to your throat and your body is going through a danger response. With your adrenaline spiked. And your blood pounding in your ear. And your neck. Right where Astarion's holding you. Right near his face. Where he can smell you. Sense it gushing through you.
I'm sure the man that spends the rest of the game telling you how delicious you smell (and taste if you let him) didn't have some small fraction of something awaken in him in that moment. I'm not thinking about this right now. It's probably nothing.
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Butlering at Wayne Manor has to rank amongst the top ten worst workplaces.
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0 days since i last suffered from a papaya pookie-based attack
#Oscar Piastri#Lando Norris#landoscar#op81#ln4#mctwinks#twinklaren#they need to release their gorilla grip on my mental health please#it’s only mclaren accounts + delusion + race footage keeping me together at this point#I jest#but also…
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Yumeno Myskova- Playful Land SSR
"Stupid fox dude, stupid cat kid, stupid butterf-- Argh!! Stupid ribbons getting caught on nothing!"
#i luv u yumeno beat that bitch ernesto up#i jest#twst oc#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland oc#twst yuu#playful land#twst playful land#twisted wonderland yuu#yumeno myskova
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slices of life
#mine#pokemon#pokemon swsh#champion leon#raihan pokemon#raileon#sonia pokemon#I need messy 50k raileon breakup fic on my desk by yesterday#first couple to be divorced before ever being married#i jest
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Call me shallow but I'm a firm believer of the "but he's Gerard Way" rule
#my chem#gerard way#gee way#shitpost#my chemical fucking romance#my chemical romance#mcr#*cough cough* piss k!nk#puke k!nk *cough cough*#I mean uhh#/J /J#I JEST#FUTURE EMPLOYERS PLEASE#IF YOU READ FANFICTION YOU'D UNDERSTAND 🙏🏻#they can make anything seem charming
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enough!!! i like the red robin cowl. i think it makes him look like a freak. and he needs that because when ur siblings with dick grayson and cass cain u gotta step up ur creepy factor.
#what’s bro yappin about#tim drake#idk it’s all i want the bats to be spooky until we get to the red robin cowl….#i jest#dc
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MGS Creatures Part TWO!!!
HELLO!!!!!!!!! I APPRECIATE THE LOVE ON THE LAST ONE, IT MEANS A LOT :)!!❤️❤️I am Joyous the creatures are enjoyed..Getting crazy.. HERES SOME MORE IVE DRAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They’re all over the place. My bade….ALSO SOME OF THE LIQUIDMANTIS STUFF IS VERY SELF-INFULGENT. I GOT CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love doodling these cats So much… SPOILERS FOR MGS2 KINDA BASICALLY.. there are less Ocelots around this time I WILL BE FIXING THAT!!!!!!!!!
ITS REEEEALLY FUN TO SHARE RHESE ALL AT ONCE.. so wonderful Ok.. IM STILL ON MGS4 BUT I DID FINISH 5! HOW FUN!!!!!!!!! I HOPEYOU HAVE A NICE DAY.. ALSO , AGAINN, IF YOU WANT TO SEE ME MORE IM ON TWT @ rpgmakerenjoyer … I post these there too!! Just not In little bundles like this :3 AHH!!!
#metal gear solid#mgs1#mgs2#mgs3#mgs4#mgs5#mgsvtpp#revolver ocelot#liquid snake#psycho mantis#liquidmantis#IM CRAZZYYIM CRAZY#raiden#otasune#Everybody always forgets that there’s a fourth Les Enfants Teribles kid#His name is Plissken#I Jest#NEED TO DRAW KAZUHIRAMILLER MORE . Sorry#metal gear#Can You tell who I really like To Draw#catified#mgs#AM I USING THESE TAGS CORRECTLY!!!!HOOPEFUFLLY….#ivan raidenovitch raikov#Really enjoy how I Drew Quiet also. SHES SO FUN I LOVE HER#IGNORE THE LITTLE MISTAKES TOO LIKE OCELOTS SCARF MISSING SHH SHHH#SILENT HILL 2 AND DMC3 SNEAK
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hey guys check out this new oc his name is boothill
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I’m not saying everyone is into one character over the other in a ship but yknow it’s common… but for me it’s funny being into timkon bc I find most ppl are more into Tim than Kon but sorry Timmy I’m here for Kon
It’s even funnier in the context of timberkon bc I saw people complaining today that people often treat the ship like Tim and his two bf’s and ignore the berkon portion but not me bby for me it’s Kon has two hands I’m here for berkon and timkon sorry timber you can stay too ig
#i jest#but this is fully how i approach my fic#it’s just an excuse to get ber and kon to interact without tim#dc#txt
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No, common misconception. You actually become asexual by beating Cupid's ass in a wrestling competition.
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Arrested on charges of Assault with a Pointy Weapon, Trespassing, Kidnapping of an Imperial Heir and Saint to the King Undying, Driving Without a Licence, Breaking and Entering, Not Getting In Line and the most heinous crime of all, not saying hello to Noodle.
#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#alecto the ninth#alecto#i jest#shes allowed a little lite murder as a treat
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teenagers are currently scaring the living shit out of me
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The Dog and the Dragon
#the dog and the dragon#more like god does this story drag on#I jest#it is a wonderful tale#told even more wonderfully#this was a quick doodle#originally#but then it tortured me for an entire day#I've decided to let it be the way it is#so here it is#dog#dragon#old man#runes#what more could you want#the owl house runes#the owl house#toh#steel alphabet#mistborn alphabet#hoid#hoid cosmere#cosmere#the stormlight archive#wit#wit cosmere#mistborn#brandon sanderson#cosmere fanart#nutmeg art
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bro some of the aftg police gotta calm down and just let the characters (neil josten) be cunts.
#like they're not meant to measure up to our well-adjusted standards of morality#they're not meant to be entirely unproblematic#every time someone says “neil was so wrong for this!” well yeah that's the fucking point sherlock#jfc i need people to stop hating neil josten THIS IS LITERALLY THE NEIL JOSTEN SHOW™#idk i've just been seeing sm neil criticism lately#like ok sorry i'm different i support neil's rights but most importantly i support neil's wrongs.#fuck off oh my god#like with all due respect this is the neil josten show™ so if u don't like him ur not in the right place#i jest#for legal reasons this is a joke#but like#i'm being so fr rn#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#zoe yaps
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