#god damn it chetney

[retrokid616]

k this gotta look like chetney the monring after almost robo turning f.r.i.d.a!

[beauregardlionett]

imagine you are critical role ceo travis willingham and one day you get a text from aabria iyengar that just says ‘i’m coming for your ass’ and then a few weeks later she sits down next to you at work, on camera, as your fantasy ex and the only way you can respond to that is to ‘yes-and’

every day travis willingham wakes up

[dnd-shows-have-my-soul]

Chetney and his dice have the funniest opportunity to ruin the new intro.

[calliokibby]

I’LL TRAIN YOU UP???

[ollieseastone]

This is the second case of pvp Bells Hells has had

[thegoodgayshit]

we are not talking about what Chetney said to Laudna last session enough.

"he's lost more than all of us"

Saying that as a justification on why orym should keep the sword to LAUDNA. The girl who watched as her family and herself were brutally murdered by the Briarwoods, then being risen from the dead and chased as far away from any semblance of home she could still have. The girl who lived alone in the woods for 30 years before getting anywhere close to a family.

Like yes. Laudna has Imogen and the rest of the hells. and yes, Orym lost his husband and father in law. But he still has a home. A purpose to fight for. A doting mother. A mentor who knows what he's gone through. A place to return to. Friends who would die for him both in and out of the hells.

I truly think in that moment, Chetney was more talking about how Orym's loss hit harder than some of their others. But god DAMN he couldn't have worded that in a way to isolate Laudna more.

And marisha ray with the fuckin "thank you. but do not ever speak to me about loss again." THAT VOICE. That crack at the end?? The way she could barely get it out she was so angry and sad??

Way to go for showing dnd players how to do "it's what my character would do" right. Fuckin out of this world delivery this episode.

[zeephyre]

CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 3 EP 95 SPOILERS

jesus christ these nerds are going to kill me.

before i get into my think piece abt... everything that transpired at the end of this episode, i would like to say this is one of the best c3 episodes.... one of my favourite episodes of all time. idk idk.

essek? smut? astrid? poly bells hells allegations?? i was already fucking sold dawg. i cannot goddamn believe that this four hour episode was... mostly... a shopping episode. i cant wait for the new art, regardless of the batshitery that happened that kinda throws my vibes off. i digress.

oh ashton greymoore i love you so much. i have been so worried abt them but honestly they're probably the lat person im concerned for currently. the grief was so compelling to watch and taliesin is a master of roleplaying as minus charisma but genuinely charismatic in his dorky awkward gruff and fumbling way. his rizz is actually just blindsiding us with earnest acts of service and comfort for his friends and i think thats so neat. im happy that they're all going to aeor with fcg intertwined throughout their outfits. its poetic and also maddeningly sweet.

(love the little callowmoore moments sprinkled through this episode... they're so real to me)

pumat was fun and i am so damn glad they got all the items matt offered cause they were all so fucking cool.

also??? sugar daddy dorian storm??? yeah i see you gay boy. dorym is so real guys we need to prepare for a confession and soon. idk i get the vibe liam is gonna drop it in the most heartbreaking way. or robbie. they're both sick in the head tbh.

loved the little queer inn that essek dragged them to and the calm before the storm was genuinely the cutest shit ever and im glad they were having fun despite everything. we got the essek and ashton dunamancy scene that i have been begging for but i cant even talk abt that right now.

before i address orym and laudna...

delilah briarwood. im gonna fucking kill you. best believe that.

theres been so much discourse on twitter abt who was right or wrong or this or that, but ultimately the point is: neither of them is RIGHT. they're both stricken with trauma and grief, and motivated by the love they have for a) the ones orym has lost and b) the one laudna is fighting not to lose. laudna WAS worried abt orym before delilah twisted that into paranoia, and orym didnt wield that fuckass blade bc he DOESNT feel sick touching it.

he says its not abt revenge but... god. orym. you want revenge. call it whatever you like but you've been angry for a while.

laudna says she KNEW the sword was cursed, but she was lying or in denial abt the fact that delilah is the one who coerced her to hold the blade in her hand.

if either of them had decided to talk to each other or the group as a whole then this could have -- most likely -- been avoided. orym decided to take the blade and shoulder the burden of what it meant and what it represented so they didnt have. laudna felt betrayed and hurt but instead of trusting orym she was manipulated back into that cunt's clutches.

i dont prescribe to trauma olympics, especially when laudna and orym never actually denied each others' trauma with otohan and that blade so i think its slightly irrelevant when discussing them both.

(i will say this... otohans blade is what killed laudna but delilah is the one who had her in a cage when she was dead. otohan murdered oryms family and there was absolutely nothing that could save them. i firmly believe THAT is what chetney meant, not that laudna hasnt suffered so we can all just... unclench a little idk)

in all the discourse, lets not forget who the real villains are -- evil milfs (delilah and otohan). delilah chose this moment to sew distrust in laudna towards orym for a reason. its like the spider queen and opal. she NEEDS laudna isolated and dependent, and she cant sink her teeth in completely if laudna has someone to fall back on.

imodna... jesus imodna breaks me every time. that entire scene on the roof while laudna looks so much like her abuser -- the woman who MURDERED her -- and having that visage fade as laudna proclaims her love for imogen. peak romance and tragedy.

it was still so upsetting hearing the echoes of delilah as laudna spoke tho. knowing her hold on laudna is getting stronger and laudna has no real faith that she will be able to fight against her. hearing her ask imogen if shes still fun scary and knowing that imogen cant tell the truth. this isnt fun anymore. laudna is in danger and imogen doesnt know how to fix it.

"I'll always love you, Laudna. I just don't know what to do with it."

its uh its not looking good for our sapphics fellas.

anyway, i do think that ashton was the emotional mvp of this episode, especially while shit was escalating. putting themself between orym and laudna, PROTECTING laudna despite knowing she attacked him, TRUSTING that she was actually telling the truth and guiding her to see the forest for the trees and apologize for an irrational choice made through a mixture of trauma, delusion and paranoia.

im... excited? for the next episode? not sure why we keep having really horrible inter-party conflict the day before going on a suicide mission but the hells are my problem babies and i have to accept that they're just little fucked up guys.

god. is it thursday yet??

(AND WHERE THE HELL IS SAM)

[elliesgaymachete]

It was so fascinating seeing the party split last night….. they weren’t necessarily taking sides, but becoming more defensive over Laudna or Orym.

Of course Imogen wants to believe Laudna, and even when she realizes that it’s more of Delilah’s influence, that Laudna isn’t entirely in control,she wants to protect her, to save her. And of course Dorian is going to protect Orym. He just got back to the party and has no idea about Delilah! From his perspective, Laudna just attacked his closest friend for no reason!

Ashton, though, he tried to play middle ground, but it was obvious he agreed with what Laudna was saying. They didn’t necessarily agree with her methods and wanted her to apologize for hurting Orym, but Otohan has killed so many people and now FCG is gone because of her, because of that blade, of course it’s bad. Of course, we should get rid of it, you’re right, but i’ve made the same mistake and you’ve taken this a bit too far.

Chetney and Fearne were the most unbiased out of that whole fight. Orym is Fearne’s best friend, she’s known him the longest, they’re closest. She had to bring him back from death once, and she’s so protective over him. She trusts him but she also wants to protect him from this dangerous weapon. But she’s also one of the only people who’s seen firsthand what Delilah’s influence is like. She knows Laudna isn’t entirely in control, she knows Delilah is dangerous, she doesn’t want her to slip….but she’s caught in the middle. And Chet, well, he was asleep for most of it, he missed the fight. All he knew was that Laudna was trying to take an incredibly dark and dangerous weapon away from Orym. He takes sort of an opposite approach to Fearne. They’re just weapons. Let them do what they’re going to do with them. He trusts Orym but he also trusts Laudna but god damn it, we’re supposed to trust each other. He takes that step to trust Laudna, maybe not even realizing that he’s enabling her, enabling Delilah. But he trusts his friends.

It was just such a good dynamic throughout the entire conflict. They’re both right and they’re both wrong

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Season 3 Episode 106

Czepeku? Oh boy ... please tell me it's another fantastic fake advert ... PLEASE let it be a fake perfume ad ... oh boy ... yes, yes yes yes ... YES!!! Holy fuck ... whoa, Ashley you don't have to go THAT HARD ... fuck me she's so hot ... that was SO FUCKING GOOD ... I'm so happy with that one, that's WAAAAAAAAAY too good ...

Also Matt's t-shirt is gonna be SO FUCKING DISTRACTING, I swear to the dark gods ...

Yeah, we're all SO HYPED for Legend of Vox Machina season 3. I'm just hoping Rothuss is gonna be in it. I want Kerrek to be in the new season SO MUCH. Let Keyleth have her sweet and kindly uncle figure, it's so worth it ...

THE "IT HAS BEGIN" SHIRT!!! SHAME ON A SHIRT INDEED!!! He is NEVER going to live that down and I love it so much ... XD

"Modest collection" ... snort ... yeah right ...

Attunements and messages ... yes, smart ... getting through to Ira, then ... this should be interesting ...

Oh here we go ... Imogen: "He's down to play." Uh-huh ...

Meet up with him at Morrie's? Oh yeah ... yeah, that would DEFINITELY be interested ... wait ... Fearne thinks they might've had ... liaisons when she was home? O.O

Two expert liars going head-to-head ... FEARNE wins that toss? Fascinating ...

Heading to Nana Morri's in the morning, then ... okay ...

Ira remembers her ... OH. MY. GAAAAWWWWWWWWD ...

Bedtime, then ... meanwhile Fearne goes hunting for the superfan ...

Oh dear ... I wonder if him considering that egg "priceless" make her decide to just steal it on general principal ... oh, she's going THAT route? I'm sorry ... "stories of his CONQUESTS"?!!! Excuse me? O.O

Persuasion check? With a stupid high DC? 15? Balls ... yeah, I didn't think that was gonna work anyway ...

She's gonna steal it now, isn't she? Yup ... "Look how good they are ... ALMOST." LOL

It's not even locked ... WOW ... Raiders of the Lost Ark ... yeah ... and now she's trapped ... oh boy ... yeah, I saw that coming too ... this is really kind of adorable ...

He's praying for guidance to be forgiving ... wow ... yeah ... religious types ... LOL

Laura: "Are you dead?" Travis: "Oh ... yeah ... hold on ..." For fuck's sake ... O.O

Oooh! Breakfast! Goody!

Wait a second ... IS THIS A FUCKING HERO'S FEAST?!!! Oh, and that is a BURN right there ... Fearne, you deserve that ...

Laudna, that joke fell VERY flat ... yeah ...

"Top of the Pops" ... oh my gods ...

Yes, you are, Chet. You're starting a fucking cult ... O.O

"My liege" ... holy fuck ... Chetney: "I got lieged!" XD

Tiny carved peacock figurine, fully articulate ... that is fucking FIENDISH ... damn right that boy has been brought to fucking TEARS ...

The fifth egg ... oh boy ... what have you done, Matthew Mercer?

"Misery", by Dreven King ... LOL

The Birthheart ... and Keyleth! Yay!

Oh yeah ... plans for a quick escape, if needed ... yeah ... oh, and supplies! Yes. Also helpful. And yay! She's got 'em covered, of course she does.

Just a big fat bag of coins? Holy shit ... of course, I mean ANYTHING for her favourite halfling, of course ... :3

550 gold ... HOLY SHIT ...

Yes. Give that to Orym. Definitely. Tank the Wee Man when needed.

The mechanics of communication between the Prime Deities and the Betrayer Gods ... hmmmmm ... yes, a Religious check is probably wise ... roll well, Riegel ... 15 ... oh for fuck's sake ...

Laudna: "Open ralationships are in right now." Wow ...

To the Fey Realm, then? Or ARE THEY gonna shop first? Straight to Nana's place, then ... okay ...

Marisha: "Keyleth's more fun that Allura." Matt: "Allura's got strong ... like, sprinster vibes." XD

Another tree portal! Fearne: "Such a fun way to travel."

Yup ... first time in the Feywild for Dorian and Braius ...

Chetney gets some fey wood ... yup ... that's definitely on-brand ...

Ligament Manor! Yeah! This should be fun for the noobs ...

That is a ... CREEPY owl ... Laudna's loving it, of course. Meanwhile Dorian's keeping a brave face on while he's inwardly FREAKING OUT. Of course he is ... meanwhile Imogen's trying to keep him chilled out as she can ...

Oh fuck ... the flowers again ... please don't start screaming this time ... O.O

Braius is ROTTING THE GROUND where he steps ... of course he is ...

Dorian's playing music ... oh, the Cantina band music from A New Hope? Cute ... Matt: "We can't clear that." XD

Great. That's stuck in my head now ...

There it is. One of the creepiest houses in all the Realms ... how's Blue Boy gonna react to THIS?

Of course she just screams out: "NANA!!!"

The voice ... I have missed that phenomenally EXTRA voice ...

Here we go ... I can just IMAGINE Dorian's eyes getting wider ... and wider ... Robbie's face! It's priceless! XD

Greetings, Dorian. This is going to live in your nightmares for DECADES. And the second mouth ... Dorian: "Oh, grandma kisses are always wet!" LOL

Wwo ... oh, she LIKES the minotaur ... and is Sam making Braius' voice EXTRA low right now? LOL ... oh, this is too priceless ... wow ... he is actually FLIRTING right now, I love it ... oh yes! Drinks! Drinks are good, yes ...

Nana: "You're so CUTE!!! Where are you FROM? You smell like shadow and bad choices!"

Ah yes ... of course ... we should've REMEMBERED that this sudden success of Chetney's must be down to the deal he made with her ...

What are the chances Fearne really DOES have a second face down in her marsupial pouch?

Imogen (to Braius): "Do YOU have siblings?" Braius: "... I hadn't thought of that." LOL

THE TIKI BAR!!! YAY!!!

Oh ... dropping the news that Ira might be dropping by ... oh ... this just got interesting ... that's a very ... UNEXPECTED reaction from her there ... hmmmmm ... O.O

Insight check THE FATESTITCHER?!!! Seriously?

Bountiful luck ... Laura: "I reroll ones? Just because you're NEAR me?" O.O

Yeah ... the death of FCG ... I really didn't need THAT wound reopening just yet ... thanks for that ...

The weird dead Ruidian ... THING in the jar ... yeah, Laudna would be reluctant to part with THAT ... oh, a trade? Yeah, that'd probably work better ...

Oh shit ... enter the Nightmare King ... here we go ... oh, so he's LITERALLY just come STRAIGHT from the Red Moon ...

That is a VERY unsettling handshake ... O.O

She's giving him the COLD SHOULDER ... I love it ... and making out like Braius is the new boytoy ... XD ... that's hilarious and adorable in the freakiest way possible ...

Ira: "I like boom-boom." Oh boy ...

Noooooooo ... Braius, you didn't ... that is SOOOOOOO BAD ... I love that so much ... LOL

Ah yes ... Nan Morri, you old flirt ... it's adorable and deeply unsettling ... and now Pate's getting in on the act too? Wow ...

Oh wow ... a flimpse of Morri in her youth? That's just FASCINATING ... and also pure nightmare fuel, of course ...

Yeah ... Nana and Orym ... okay ... how's THIS gonna go? O.O ... do I need to worry?

Birdie! Oh my gods! Awwwwwwwwww ... :3

Fancy magic lens-glass necklace? Cute ... and probably a little lucky too, I don't doubt ...

Getting to it, then ... hmmmm ...

Nine freaky long-necked six-legged spectral horses ... freaky shit ... okay, then ... oh, they can FLY? Of course they can fly ... wow ...

Oh ... good question ... how old IS SHE?!!! Oh wow ... the return of "time is a weird soup" ... :3

Thankfully, Chetney doesn't literally make a horse's arse of himself ... XD ... heading off into the wilderness with Fearne in the lead, then ...

Oh dear ... Fearne doesn't know WHERE they're going ... of this is embarrassing ... but atleast IRA does ...

Nana Morri slaps Braius's arse as they leave ... oh boy ...

Wondering what Braius looks like from the waist down ... dear gods please defend us from dirty minds ... LOL ... just kidding ... XD

Time for a break, then ...

Beacon is a "non-invasive subscription" ... XD

Marisha LITERALLY channeling Laudna for a moment and forgetting that she is NOT an undead creature as she cracks her neck ... oof ... O.O

Pass Without a Trace? Oh these things?

Starting to reel off Japanese junkfood names for their horses ... oh yeah, with this crew I am NOT surprised ... voice actor's man ... XD

"Spread your legs ... I mean your wings ..." Oh dear ... well done, Matt ... Ashley: "I was spreading my legs all over town ..." LIam invokes the shirt once they're all dissolved into a cackling mess ... XD

Time to hide, yeah ... nd they need to REIN THEIR RIDES IN too ... oh boy ... this is not good ...

The trees are DANGEROUS ... fucking hell ... they're actually getting CUT UP riding through this shit! Oh dear ...

Imogen Temult, Horse Girl ...

Ashton literally DESTROYS a fey bird when he runs into it ... ouch ...

Coming to a stop, then ... and the horses go POOF!!! Great ...

Orym is as lithe and skilful a climber as ever, then ...

Wow ... this place is GORGEOUS, even in its state of decrepitude ... and that is one BIG ASS temple in the middle of it all ... yeah, looks like this place has beenm COMPLETELY abandoned ... just a whole lot of CORPSES ... OLD ones, looks like ...

Dragging Fearne up onto the wall like a sack of potatoes ... oh dear ... XD

SOLDIERS!!! Watch out for that ... potential trouble, then ... looks tricky, that ...

Hunter's Bane? Hmmm ... nothing iffy here, looks like ...

Pass Without a Trace ...

Chetney and Imogen climb down to sneask into the town itself, Dorian following with Ira taking up the rear ... and Telepathic Link between the group? Smart ...

Fearne trips and makes noise at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME ... oh shit ... O.O ... is this gonna be a bad thing? Yeah, that hawk can't mean anything good ... balls ... Laudna makes Pate turn invisible and sends him after it ...

Dead elf ... hmmm ... Grim Psychometry? Really? Lovely ... oh, this can't be good AT ALL ... something truly HORRIBLE happened here ...

THE WATER? That's what did it? They were all POISONED by something in the water? Something monstrous? Charming ...

So they're definitely based IN the temple, then ...

Big black dog ... with a human face ... well that's ... unsettling. That can't be good either ...

Battlemap? PLEASE tell me this is just for REFERENCE ... that we don't actually NEED THIS ... hollow prayers, I know ...

That is a fricking SWEET set-up, though ... O.O

At least the bone-rat has high stealth ... except when Marisha rolls proper BALLS ... 7? Oh gods ... yeah, there's NO WAY they could've possibly missed that ... and then he APOLOGISES for being clumsy. OUT LOUD ...

NOW Dorian remembers he can turn Invisble ...

The Monocle of True Essence with Arcane Eye ... okay, then ... Chetney, what do your non-elf eyes see?

Matt: "Chet's way off --" Marisha: "Yeah he is." Oof ... XD

Sneaky sentries? WITH crossbows? Crap ... that's not good ...

Dorian's having trouble getting the hang of communicating through the Telepathic Link and it's adorable. XD

Some winged invisible thing wrapped around the side of the temple ... oh shit ... yeah, OF COURSE it's fucking Gloamglut! Great ...

Ludinus! You asshat! Great ... and of course that has to be Zathuda with him ... meanwhile whoi's this other guy with the soldiers? Another Unseelie elf, of course, but ...

Load-bearing pillars? The fact that Matt SPECIFICALLY described them as "load-bearing" ... yeah, that could be useful somehow ...

Ira Wendigoth, jumping the gun ... of course he does ...

The mini! The Ira mini! It's so cool! O.O

Working out what they can actually DO ...

Chetney wolfs out and goes Invisible ... and puts on his fancy flesh armour ... eww ...

How the hell can LIAM O'BRIEN possible have rolled TWO NAT1S on Stealth in a row? I didn't think that was possible ...

Chetney lands two hits and CRITS a third ... ouch ... he's just gonna straigh up MURDER this poor bastard ... 23 for the first and 19 for the second ... the last is the decider. HDYWTDT ... yeah ... oh, that is BRUTAL ... like I said, straight up murder ...

That's right, Dorian can't cast without dropping his Invisibility ... be careful, Robbie ... he tries to Charm it? Wow ... and it WORKS ... holy shit ... this freaky dog is WEIRD ... wow ... he's actually trying to convince it to just GO STRAY ... what the fuck even IS THIS SHIT right now? O.O Oh my gods I can't believe that ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKED ...

And now this other guy's GOING AFTER IT ... crap ... and he sees Dorian ... BALLS!!!

Braius throws Silence upon him ... okay ... then ImogenPsychic Lances him ... good thing the guy's DUMB ... fuck that's a lot of dice ... how much are you about to hurt this guy, Laura Bailey? 25 points of Psychi damage? OUCH ... he screams and NOTHING COMES OUT ... crazy ...

Laudna pulls a Chill Touch on him by remote? Using one of the bodies ... oh fuck NAT20!!! Holy shit ... 38 ... oh yeah, DEFINITELY HDYWTDT ... she just gets the dead hands to DRAG HIM INTO THE GROUND like in Drag Me To Hell ... holy shit ... O.O

More Silence ... okay then, Ira ...

Meanwhile the third guy's starting to twig ...

Chetney and Ashton both hit him simulataneously ... Nat20 from Travis ... this is going CRAZY well so far ... Matt: "How do you guys wanna do this?" Of course! Fucking hell, Chet ... that is NASTY ...

What's Ira doing? O.O ... oh, he just freezes them both on the spot ... so Orym just rushes in with Ashton in tow, Braius following their lead ... Orym Misty Steps in close while Braius Silences them ...

Orym Crits on his target because he's Paralyzed ... 30 damage for the first hit, 24 on the second, 32 on the third ... yeah, he kills the poor bastard on the spot. Ouch ...

Ashton Crits ON TOP of his ALREADY Crit ... wow ... he does the Cosmic Space Rage and it goes all red ... Taliesin is DOING MATHS ... yeah, that's yet ANOTHER HDYWTDT ... he grabs him, pounds on him, drops him THROUGH A WORMHOLE and then drops him thirty feet out the other sid to the ground ... oh that is NASTY ... poor bastard ...

So that was ... remarkably easy ... now they just have to deal with whoever's INSIDE ...

MORE furtive planning on the next stage and what they can actually DO ...

Oh, so there's an ARGUMENT going on inside? So everything is not so merry in there? Orym listens in ...

Yeah, this DOES sound a bit frayed ... clear disharmony ... whoever this is, they're clearly uncomfortable under Ludinus' thumb ... oh, so it's ZATHUDA who's straining at the leash? Wow ... that's even MORE fractious than we hoped it was ...

Decision point ... so Laudna just casts Animate Object on the statue of the ArchHeart within ... oh boy ... O.O

Gloamglut touches down HARD inside ... meanwhile the other fey etc. go rushing in after ...

They're all just attacking the staue, then ... IMogen and Laudna go in, Imogen flying through a window, Fearne rushes in after, looking for the pillars so she can try and collpase them ... meanwhile they're all distracted, the dragon especially ...

Oh, is Matt getting another Battlmap? Oh, he is! Cool ...

Cue YET MORE plotting and prepping their next moves as they get a bearing on the fresh ground ...

WOW that Gloamglut mini is INSANE ... Ashley: "Look at him! He's so cute!" REALLY?!!!

The statue is just SHATTERED ... okay then ... NOW what?

Further planning, planning, planning ...

Time's running out, clearly ... Fearne has SECONDS left to do SOMETHING ... she bamfs Mister out to channel through him ... smart ... she unleashes her spell and turns the floor into MUSH ... and of course EVERYTHING starts to collapse inwards ... so she starts running back out ...

Imogen unleashes her Telekinesis to pull the pillars down quicker, while Ashton burrows in using his Titan form ... it's all just pure confusion ... while the dragon spots her ...

And then Matt calls it a night! Shit! What does that mean? What further madness does he have planned?

[retrokid616]

and were fighting but before break map time!

see y'all in the break

[annemarieyeretzian]

imogen saying “that was awful.” and laudna saying “he didn’t have to do that.” and ashton saying “he’d been itching to do that since the day I met him. I knew he was going to pull that shit. god fucking damn it.” and orym saying “I’ve seen enough fights go south. if [he] hadn’t done that, we’d all be dead.” and chetney saying “he made it count. we’ve got to do the same.” and ashton saying “I can be angry at the same time.”

[ratinayellowbandana]

this is probably a little too on the nose, but as soon as I saw "color prompt" I thought purple- bc.. well. you know. Though actually reading the prompts under purple all of those have imodna vibes so I think that means it was meant to be

if you want a specfic one, i like 1. "You know you're my best friend, right?", but any of the ones under purple would be cool!!! hope you have fun writing!!!!

woo! this one was very fun and tbh i needed the fluff.

length: ~500 words

~~~

Imogen is drunk. 

It’s only natural, Laudna supposes, after the shitshow of a week they’ve had that they might have a little fun. Imogen has her circlet now, after all, and it has been a gift. The defensiveness that has been ever-present across all the years they’ve known each other has faded from Imogen’s brow. She is at ease here, surrounded by their friends, talking and laughing and swapping jabs across the table. 

F.G.C. is off searching for another round while Fearne leans casually in the corner of the booth, reclining against the backrest with Orym pressed into her furry side. Mister is perched on her shoulder, nuzzled into her neck. His tail flicks her cheek, and she swats at him, tutting, with a loving laugh. 

A curious conversation occupies Orym’s attention, but he smiles and nods at Chetney, who is demonstrating a new-old carving technique he picked up from the Ashari. A toy sword rests in his lap, and he chisels away with impossible speed. Wood shavings cling to his hair and clothing, but he manages to avoid the table, accumulating an impressive pile of dust under his seat instead. Laudna makes a note to tidy it before they move upstairs for the night. 

Imogen is warm against her right side, engrossed in an animated argument with Ashton, who humors her with a smirk and raised eyebrows, nodding along to the point Imogen is making the way you only can when addressing someone who is well beyond your level of inebriation. 

Does Ashton get drunk? Laudna thinks suddenly. If his outsides are made of stone–or titan? Is that a thing one can be made of?–does it affect his insides, too? Can insides be made of stone? Would they absorb alcohol? He eats, certainly, but…

She has a vague notion of asking, but they might not even know, she realizes wondrously. How many people have seen their own insides? Her mind conjures gleeful images of splitting him open to see, revealing stoney intestines and a rock-shelled heart. 

With consent, of course. 

She’s only curious. He might be curious, too, after all, and she doesn’t want to hurt him. 

Imogen squeezes her thigh and draws Laudna back to the present. “Y’alright?” She asks, eyelids drooping ever so slightly.  

“Oh, yes,” Laudna affirms brightly, blinking owlishly, “I was only thinking of Ashton’s insides.”  

They raise an eyebrow. “Gods, you’re weird,” he guffaws. 

“Thank you,” Laudna replies, lips splitting into a broad grin. A conjured drop of ichor falls from the corner of her lip, trailing down her chin for dramatic effect. 

“Damn, I’m glad we’re friends.” He wags a finger and takes a swig from his tankard, shaking his head. 

Imogen leans further into her, and Laudna has to stabilize herself against the edge of the booth. 

Imogen hums, looks up at Laudna, “Y’know you’re my best friend, right?” 

“Alright, asshole, I’m not trying to steal your girl,” Ashton scoffs, rolling his eyes. 

Laudna ignores him. “I should certainly hope so,” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to Imogen’s forehead. Imogen beams. 

“Gross.” 

“Shut it, Ashton.”  

[crystal-lillies]

God damn Travis was waiting for that Chetney lore drop holy shit oh my god Chet

The collective cast "awwww 😟" is a mood

[zeephyre]

CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 3 EPISODE 85 SPOILERS

IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND YALL

Where do I even ??? start ???

I haven't been posting c3 as the episodes dropped in...a while actually, like right before they went to the feywild. i have many thoughts and many feelings about so many things that have happened since then and I'll summarise them so I can get to THIS episode.

fearne and ashton - love their shard powers, they're literally royalty and terrifying, and i want them to make-out. i can't wait to see them go full primordial again in a real combat situation.

imogen - save her. literally save her. free her, even. i love everything about the call of ruidus when it comes to imogen on a narrative standpoint, but...God I get so worried that we're gonna lose her. I don't mean she's gonna betray the hells, but...ruidus could take her and then i would simply perish.

laudna - before i really get into wtf went down this episode with her and she who must not be named, i gotta say... im worried. very very worried. however, that fireball was objectively the best shit ever.

fcg - i can't even really remember anything stand out abt fcg except what Sam pulled last night so.

chetney - still the heart of the team, still my baby girl, still my favourite. love him to bits.

orym - i think laudna is going to beat his ass one of these days and im... even more concerned about that after this episode. his nana morri powers are cool as fuck tho... does that make him a warlock now? i know he isn't multi-classing but wouldn't that be cool

ANYWAY WE'RE ON THE FUCKING MOON AND WE GOT MOON LORE AND EVERYTHING WAS SHITTY THEN FUN THEN SHITTY THEN FUN AGAIN THEN REALLY FUCKING SAD THEN IT ALL WENT TO SHIT AGAIN.

the moment imogen reached out to ruidus and matt mentioned that she could sense where other ruidusborn were i fucking knew that otohan was high tailing it in their direction, and i thought they instinctively knew that too but they probably got so distracted.

we were travelling for hours and had a huge fight that almost got them captured (not to be confused with the OTHER two fights that almost got them captured) and I was begging and screaming and crying for them to get a long rest safely hidden away AND THEN THEY SPLIT THE PARTY WITH BARELY ANY SPELL SLOTS OR HIT POINTS AFTER BEING DRAINED FROM ANOTHER BATTLE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM

(Sidenote, the willmaster really opened up the door to the further increase in moral pondering in a certain number of hellians. i do think using the harness is disgusting and hypocritical, but i don't condemn them for it, it just...makes me wanna vomit thinking abt what ludinus did with it. not to mention the HUNGER parallels between laudna and ludinus...its just not good yall. also??? objectively funny that fcg seemed weirded out by the idea of killing the willmaster, not just with the harness but in general, considering how many people they've killed up to this point)

idk if its just the inherent terror that an evil old hot lady can inspire that makes otohan so much more terrifying to me than ludinus. like, objectively, ludinus is a worse threat and could wipe them out EASILY but jesus otohan is like the damn reaper to me. it's the trauma from the laudna, fearne, orym massacre mixed with the underlying little drop from their uthodurn romp that let us know that resurrection spells are NOT working and idk if that got fixed bc of time passing or distance from the leylines but i really did not want to test that shit out in real time

thank...god that sam riegel is a damn genius player, that banishment of fcg and fearne was the ONLY reason fcg survived. and thank GOD FOR KEYLETH BECAUSE WITHOUT THAT CLOUD SPELL BELLS HELLS WOULD BE VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY DEAD RN.

God, "otohan has us. run." is going to haunt me just as much, if not more than the almost tpk. it just...shot me straight back to bassuras and the plan to run that just...immediately fell apart.

god fcg truly could have died there. and fearne would be captured. i know the hells would be too stupid and too brave and too loyal to leave fearne with otohan in their cloud form but can you imagine a world where fcg was gone, fearne was captured and the hells had to switch from recon to rescue... itd be stressful but pretty fun.

thankfully it didn't come to that and some good came from the shit.

ruidus is so beautiful. i was worried they'd end being trapped under ruidus while they explored (not that I wasn't on board with the detours, I wish this wasn't a time sensitive mission), but matt's imagery of the fossilized elven structure and garden made me sad but also happy that we got to see it.

i cannot believe that the stupid plan to shove fearne up a water hole happened AGAIN and it ended up with us FINDING A BACK HOLE TO RUIDUS GOD I LOVE THESE CHUCKLEFUCKS WHEN IS THE NEXT EPISODE MATT YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME. WHERE EVEN ARE THEY??? IS IT EVEN EXANDRIA???? WHAT DO WE DO IF IT IS EXANDRIA??? WHERE DID THIS HOLE EVEN COME FROM???? DOES IT CLOSE AND REOPEN??? IS IT STAGNANT?????? IS IT FUCKING STABLE?!?!?!?!?!

God...we could go back to keyleth and the others and actually invade ruidus without encountering the ruby vanguard. (that's if they're alright because otohan did go out onto the battlefield and we don't know what fhe fuck she did when the illusion fell through)

GOD. IS IT THURSDAY YET??? WE HAVENT EVEN FOUND THE RESISTANCE????

[blorbologist]

📂📂📂

SORRY got a little busy - let's get those HCs!

Look: Grog and Percy will likely to be the first members of Vox Machina to die, assuming they live out their natural lifespans give or take. I HC that, as they age, they grow closer. No one else in VM understands the encroaching end, how old wounds now ache. The children they (helped) raise are still so young, being quarter-elves and gnomes - it dawns on them how few memories their loved ones will have of them, in the grand scheme of their long lives ahead. Consider Grog feeling weak and Percy's mind growing dull, the traits they take pride in being worn away. Both would likely be pretty frustrated by this, while taking comfort in the fact they survived this long at all despite the lives they lead. Also giving their families heart attacks with their latest hairbrained, half-planned scheme. They're engaged in a PVP exercise ball reenactment of the skull thing. They're seeing how high Grog can throw a bomb Percy made with shaking hands. There's a canonball contest. "GRANDPA NO!" "Grandpa yes."

Vex is in an awkward spot: longer-lived than her husband and Grog (and even some of her children - Tieflings have human lifespans :,) ), yet far shorter lived than the remaining three. I'd think she might get closer to her elven family, in her twilight years. Understanding a bit better the loss they inevitably go through over the centuries. I can see her remaining a fairly public figure well into old age, keeping Whitestone on the right track in Percy and Cass' stead. Getting involved in the legacies of all her shorter-lived friends: Zahra and Kash's kids, the Brigade sans Tary and Gilmore's Glorious Goods. Keeping pleasantly busy - she'll rest when she's with her husband, gods damn it, and not a moment before. (Before she goes, she promises Keyleth she'll say hello).

... which leaves the gnomes and Keyleth. They'll likely live to see generations and generations of their families come and go. Probably some impossible-feeling changes to the world, too - remember that Chetney was born before Tal'Dorei and the Dwendalian Empire were founded, probably before Ank'Harel was raised either! I think they'd likely realize down the line that they've got an absolute wealth of historical knowledge, often first-hand, and strive to document and protect it. Of course Scanlan would compose so many songs, but I think he might actually grow into that role of a bard Ioun saw in him. The knowledge-sharer, history-speeker, not the guy singing brawdy songs and lying liberally in his youth. Pike might write religious texts and hymns of her own with the help of her ex-husband. I wonder if the Slayer's Cake might outlast the Take it was named for, under her watch. And Keyleth... well.

(Bonus: do any of them forget the faces? Minds are so fallible. Do they realize, and commission mind-reading magic paired with artists to get portraits of those they've lost? Do they trust their minds until the very last? Does Keyleth gasp, when she sees Vax'ildan again, and he is not as she thought he would be? Is he even still Vax'ildan, after over a thousand years without anyone who knew him passing through his care?)

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 94

One Shot Wonders? This should be interesting ... oh ... right, Robbie being RIGHT THERE is ... interesting ... we know full well what a chaos gremlin he is, we have been missing that ... and then there's Laura who can't even BEGIN to hold it together long enough to become a problem ... XD ... that was ... a STRANGE skit, to be honest ... but interesting ...

Wow ... that was the most thinly-veiled dig at Youtube I've EVER HEARD, Travis ...

Bells Hells live show? Intriguing ...

I swear, though, seeing FCG on the title sequence is ... INTENSE. We miss you already, Letters ...

It already feels SO GOOD that we got Dorian back, though ... and I mean it, I love having Robbie back at the table ...

Given the mood, I can't even get enthusiastic about any possibility for Ashton x Fearne stuff ...

Laudna: "What's harder? Expecting the worst, or being surprised?" Dorian: "Good question." Oof ...

Ahston (to Fearne): "Dou you want some company tonight?" HOLY FUCK ... I'm Travis right now ... he's all of us ... oh yeah, ANYTHING is good with these too, I'll take the crumbs ... and it's sweet. It really is ...

Oh yeah, so Orym TOTALLY heard all of that ... XD

LONG REST!!! LONG REST!!! Gods, they need this SO BAD ...

Travis rolls AGAIN ... oh shit, how do I keep forgetting about that? Is Chetney dead?

How is Fearne arranged wit Ashton in theit sleep? Why is this a WORRYING question right now, MATTHEW?!!! O.O

Okay ... what the hell is THIS thing? Why is this more creepy than cute right now? I don't trust this shit ... be careful, Fearne, please ...

33 Passive Perception ... fucking hell, Orym ...

How DOES she squeeze through that? Wildshape? A cockatiel with a peach plume? Awwwwww ... Ashley doing the wobbly birdwalk ... :3 ... oh wait ... so it's leading her AWAY? Yeah, I really DON'T trust this shit right now ...

Yes. Keep following her, Orym ... do not lose that bird ...

She's going to continue following this INCREDIBLY SUSPICIOUS critter becausde it's cute ... yeah, classic Fearne ... I just can't with her ...

Floating IN THE AIR? How the fuck? Yeah, that definitely can't be a good sign. A DARK ARMOURED GAUNTLET? Fuck's sake ... damn it, it's FUCKING Zathuda. FEARNE!!! Gods damn-it!

She's just PANIC FLAPPING. Of course she is ...

The whole time Ma\tt does this character I'm just seeing Sean Connery in Highlander ... it really doesn't help to create the menace due the moment ...

Crap ... he intends to use Fearne to unlock Predathos' prison ... yeah, that's not much of a surprise ...

Yeah, there's NO WAY she's gonna come with you, you Scottish CREEP ... but she wants his wyvern ... yeah, of course she does. LOL ... oh boy ... he's actually really taking that as encouragement, isn't he?

Yes girl. Insight check this asshat ... WHISPERS!!! Cue Beacon plug by Travis ...

"Fearne Zathuda?" Come ON, you evil fuck, don't you dare ... YES FEARNE!!! School the man ... Calloway all the way ...

A MIRROR? Oh balls ... please not THAT shit again ... last thing we need right now is Dark Fearne ...

Bollocks ... it really IS happening ... damn it, I saw that shit coming ... fuck ... fuck fuck fuck fuck ... she's loose, she's free, this is SO BAD ...

Wait ... SHE'S MULTIPLYING?!!! Fuck, that's not good ...

Orym messages Dorian through the Sending stone ... PLEASE let this work ... talk about a desperate Hail Mary ... PLEASE PICK UP, DORIAN!!! Oh thank fuck that worked ...

Laura has to roll for everyone to see if this WAS a long restor not ... YES!!! Thank fuck ... so only Fearne and Orym are still short, at least ... but that's not so good right now ... balls ...

YES!!! Chentey's nose! Sniff them out QUICK old man!

Ashton says: "Find. Them. NOW!!!" with SUCH exquisite intensity, I love it ...

Over the wall! Quickly!

No guards? No help? REALLY?!!!

Roll initiative! Uh-oh ...

Shit! A Battlemap! Bollocks ... this means he's SERIOUS ...

Yes! Orym! Bait & Switch for the win like always! Way to go, Wee Man!

Earthbind? Hmmm ... could she fuck this up for them before it even starts? That would be helpful ... yes, stay put, Fearne ... be careful ...

Boy, Faux-Fearne is SO CREEPY ... SHADOW CLAW attacks? Oh fuck ... COLD DAMAGE?!!! Ouch ... wait ... oh, so Fearne can become RESISTANT to Cold damage? Nice ... plus Psychic damage? Argh ... not so good ...

And now the extras ... I really hope they're pale imitations ... balls, looks like they might NOT be ... shit ... a NAT20?!!! Come on Mercer, PLEASE play nice ... O.O

Orym pulls another Bait & Switch ... okay ... oh, is he planning on invoking Nana Morri? Yeah, do it, any port in a storm ... meanwhile GET SWINGING, Fighter! HOLY SHIT, Liam, you are rolling ROCKS tonight! Keep THAT up, please!

Fearne activates the Spark! Yeah! She'll pay for it later, but right now ... SO BADASS, I swear ... and here comes Mister! Yay!

Oh, they take Fire damage when they hit her? Nice ... Voice Thief? What the sweet FUCK?!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaargh ... 17 poijnts of damage? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck ... it cuts her throat, with no blood ... BUT HER VOICE IS JUST GONE ... fucking hell ... oh fucking fuck ... she is just getting SO MESSED UP right now, I hate this ...

Come on, Orym, fuck these bitches UP!!! Nice! Nat20! But it's A SHIT damage dict roll ... balls ... Second Wind! Yeah, right now he really needs it ... yeah, he's done what he can ...

All that Fearne has left is VERBAL spells ... fuck ... Mister takes some shots with his flaming shit gun instead ... she's going to DROP her flaming form? REALLY?!!! That was the ONLY ADVANTAGE she had right now ... but it does cause a big BOOM so maybe it'll work ... yeah, at least it gets TWO of 'em ... 41 points of damage! YEAH!!! Wow, and she just TAKES THOSE TWO OUT entirely ... yes! And now she's at FOUR POINTS OF EXHAUSTION ... oof ...

Dark Fearne jumps up on one of the rocks ... what's THIS SHIT?!!! Oh nice ... BOTH HITS MISS ENTIRELY?!!! Sweet ... but the third hits ... 6 points ... AND SHE'S DOWN?!!! FUCK!!! Another hit while she's DOWN? Fuck!! Autocrit means TWO FAILED DEATH SAVES!!! NO NO NO NO NO!!!

Orym pours a healiong potion down Fearne's throat for 17 HP back, then crouches over her to protect her, shield up and ready ... ORYM!!! Sweet ...

At least Fearne's got her voice back ... SCORCHING RAY!!! GO QUEEN!!! Four attacks ... roll good, Ash! 2 hit, but she rolls BALLS on the damage ...

But it was JUST enough to finally take out Dark Fearne? Oh thank the fucking GODS ...

Mister shoots more flaming shit at thew remaining copy ... and hits it! OKay ... come on, you sweet flaming monkey ... meanwhile Ashley gets stuck reading rules and Laura gets REALLY upset with her about it ... NERVES, PEOPLE!!! And it WORKS!!! That last bitch is DEAD!!! Thank fuck ...

Is it over? Thank fuck ... oh for ... NOW what? Gloamglut? Fucking ZATHUDA!!! You fucking ASSHAT!!! Just piss off already!

The NEXT LESSON? Oh, I hate him so much ...

NOW the alarm's raised? As he's already leaving? IS HE leaving? What's happening?

Thank fuck that's over with ... yeah, NO MORE solo nighttime excurstions, ANY OF YOU ... you're making me go grey here ...

Cure Wounds? Yes. Thank you, Dorian. Heal Fearne ...

Yes. Seriously, Fearne, NO MORE FOLLOWING CUTE CREATURES ... I agree, take a buddy next time! Smarter, at least ...

Ah, yes ... because Dorian REALLY DOESN'T know a whole lot right now, this is true ... seriously, time to fill our poor boy in!

And now for a break ... yeah ...

Creeeeepy Beacon ad ... hmmm ...

An uneasy morning, clearly ... salvaging what's left of the mirror ... is that really a good idea?

Yes, indeed ... what ARE WE going to do now? What's the plan? Decisions need to be made ...

Kayleth first ... yeah, smart.

Okay, big meeting. Time to unload all the information ...

Oh, is Fearne going to fill them in on the WHY that all just kicked off? This should be interesting ...

So ... the Hallowed Cage rings a bell? Interesting ...

Yes, I figured Evoroa would be a valuable teaching resource for this lot ...

Growing discord from Ludinus' propaganda across Exandria? Great. Just what we need right now ...

Oh yeah, the machinery ... the piece of Malleus Key tech ... okay ... so it's definitely Arcanum era technology ... all of it keeps pointing back to Aeor ...

Someone who knows Aeor? Who's that, then? They're on a mission? Hmmm ...

A mission for US, then? Okay ... so they're going to meet with this individual? And potentially stop Ludinus, if he IS out there too? Sounds smart ...

Yeah, I mean Dorian does have a particularly fresh and unique perspective on this right now that's bound to be useful ...

"Scrappy fuck-ups"? I mean, he ain't wrong, but ...

Whoa, Chetney ... O.O ... HEAVY WORDS, man ... careful ...

Laudna: "He was just a snow Ludinus!" Um ... yeah ...

Chetney's like a "fart in the wind" ... XD ... cute ...

Imogen tries to show them what the Five Minds looked like ... okay ... yeah, Chetney's right, there's definitely some serious POWER in their Psychic game compared to ours ...

Weeks? I really doubt we actually HAVE that much time ...

Sent by a WIDOGAST? What?

Seth Domade? An archivist of the Cobalt Soul? Interesting ... so he's one of the Aeor experts? Cool. He's actually BEEN THERE? Even cooler ...

The furniture? What? Chetney ...

Finding an individual? WHO?!!! He'll tell them on the way? Damn it ...

The globe! Cool ... XD Keyleth finds it somewhat terrifying. As she should ...

Laudna's fetuses in jars ... yeah ... calm down, Dead Girl!

So, off to find this mysterious Assembly member first, then ... yeah ... and they're going to be using Domade as the means of transport? Teleportation? Hmmmm ...

Imahara Joe? Yeah ... he really should know what happened to FCG ... best to wait until they can tell him themselves, then. Yeah ...

So, to Zadash first, then ... oh, war chest funds? Yeah, that'd be really helpful too ... 10,000 gold pieces? REALLY?!!! Wow ... that's ... IMPRESSIVE ...

Yes. Ashton's giant magic Hole ... oh yeah, Dorian's not seen that yet ... Chetney: "Are you turned off by our dep dark Hole?" Well I mean it does STINK or rotting corpses right now ... oh, they're just cleaning all the nasty stuff out of it RIGHT NOW? Holy fuck ... LOL

Wow ... this conversation just became surreal and oddly unpleasant ...

Domade is intrigued by his first impression of this group and I don't blame him in the slightest ...

Yes. Fearne IS exhausted. FOUR TIMES right now ... yes, Keyleth PLEASE help her right now ...

She took away TWO WHOLE POINTS of Exhaustion? Cool ...

The Champion of Asmodeus? Oh boy ... O.O

Yeah, Keyleth continues to be awesome, like always ...

Wise words from Orym, yes ... and some advice from her to him, too ... oh boy ...

Dorian likes the Mythtaker. Yeah ... :3

Okay, heading out with Seth, then. Introductions all round first, though. Yeah ...

Oh right ... this looks like a SERIOUS Teleportation spell ...

Yeah, Liliana was able to STOP TIME. It was very intimidating.

Ah, so where ARE THEY then, Matthew? The Sprawl in Zadash. Okay ... interesting, it seems that something has been amiss recently ... oh, recent BATTLE? Hmmm ...

So Chetney's been here before, long ago ...

Ah, the Tri-Spires, yeah ...

Invisibility? Yeah, that's viable for some ... yea, timely indeed since they're being followed ... yeah! Do it now ...

Oh, so they're gonna BLUFF IT, are they? Group Stealth check ... great ... NAT1?!!! Ashley NO!!!

Smells like deer shit ... XD

Dodge the guards? ANOTHER Stealth check? Oof ... oh, yeah, MUCH better ...

Walk with confindence ... Chetney just starts Connor McGregor-swaggering ... LOL

The Gilded Willows? Nice ...

"Do not panic"? So that's the keyword to GRAB ... okay ...

Chastity's Nook? REALLY?!!!

Oh boy ... this is gonna be WILD, I can already tell ... yeah, Dorian finally gets it ... XD ...

Iva: "How can I help you?" Imogen: "Oh, we're here for the ... uh ... PORN."

TUSK LOVE!!! YAY!!!

Ah yes ... ye olde sex shoppe ... LOL

Erma? ERMA?!!! SHE'S the target? Really?

Blood Cursxe of Binding? Wow ... straight to it ... meanwhile Imogen casts Command and tells her to: "Freeze!"

Oh, nice grapple, Ashton ... if he pulls this off it's gonna be SWEET ... 23? NICE ...

Laudna Counterspells before Erma can work her magic ... 21? YES!!! Nice one! Success! Unsettling Presence ... YEAH!!!

Dorian puffs Ruby Dust in her fast and casts a 7th Level Forcecage on her ... WHAT?!!! Holy fuck, bard! She tries to Counterspell it ... and it works? BALLS ...

Orym glues her hand to the wall with Sedling's Grasping Vine ... meanwhile Ashton just grabs her arm ... and Imogen tries to hold her in place with her mind ...

Seth pulls something that just deadens LL MAGIC IN THE ROOM ... oh, nice, I see what he did there! Yes, sweet move, Cobalt Soul! That';s perfect. Time to just dogpile her, then ...

Wait ... no more illusion for Seth, then ... HOLDY FUCK!!! YES!!! I KNEW IT!!! Essek fucking Thelyss! YAY!!!

She's fucking ASTRID?!!! Seriously?

And THAT'S where we're calling it? I mean FUCK but also NICE! I mean it's kinda perfect, really. MY BOY IS HERE!!! YES!!!