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sortasirius · 4 years ago

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“Carry On” and...Yikes.

Well clowns, looks like the clown calls were coming from inside the house this entire time.

I so desperately wish I wasn’t writing this right now. I so wish that I could be writing something better, something joyful, something happy about this fifteen year journey with these characters. It seems as though the show had other ideas, so in we go.

So...the dog was cool. Also interesting that Dean was back to his breakup/grieving coping mechanisms: not making his bed, messy room, beer all over the place, Sam making breakfast, etc.

So I guess I better just start off with how...off this episode felt in regards to Dean specifically. Idk why he suddenly wanted a dog and Sam had no real interest in one, since the opposite has been true for, idk, fifteen years, but whatever, I was willing to let it go.

I thought the pie thing was a sweet scene, it was funny and nice and a good button on Dean’s pie thing.

Weird to, you know, bring up Cas and not mention his tragic ass deal and why he got got, but whatever.

I cannot physically believe that this MOTW aspect was, quite literally, so much of the plot. Like...we figured that it was going to be an aspect, but for it to be SO MUCH? Bruh. I am such a fucking fool lmfao.

Again, cool to see Cas’ coat in the back. Too bad it wasn’t addressed.

Jenny. Bitch. Come on. Of ALL the villains in the FIFTEEN YEARS of Supernatural. Jenny. Who was in....one....episode. Ok.

I mean that line about the high school thing was funny, I did laugh at that moment. Fuck I love Dean Winchester.

I cannot believe I specced so much about the barn scene. Are y’all telling me that “The Night We Met” is being claimed by......Sam and Dean. Fuck off.

I mean, I thought Dean was going to die, and the scene actually did play out pretty similarly to how I thought. It was probably the most powerful moment in the episode. I am very glad that it was Dean’s choice, his choice and his peace to let go.

“Let me look at you. There he is. I am so proud of you, Sam.”

I do love this, I love this because Dean is able to look at his work, the man that he raised, and tell him these things. He was Sam’s parent, he raised Sam into the man he is today, and he should be damn proud of that.

I do love this most of scene, I really do, I love my boys, these brothers so damn much, and at least, at the very least, I have this scene of them.

Forehead touch was weird, I’m just gonna say it.

I feel like most of this episode was montages lol. I mean I always hate sad Sam but at this point I still fully felt like we were going to get closure and we just...didn’t.

The Austin number was a cool detail, I liked that bc I picked up on it right away (since, you know, my phone is a 512 number lmao).

What a lackluster goodbye to the Bunker. I had no clue that was going to be the last time we saw it ever.

FUCK AT LEAST I GOT MY DAMN HEAVEN BAR.

The scene with Bobby was nice, it was good to see him. We did get our remade Heaven, that’s also nice to know.

“It ain’t just Heaven, Dean. It’s the Heaven you deserve.”

He does deserve this. An open Heaven, the people he loves, finally some peace, he deserves that, and I am glad that he got it.

Our second Cas mention. Great. Thanks guys.

I mean thanks Jim and Jensen for the microexpressions I guess lmao.

So I am supposed to believe. That Dean. Whose entire arc has been speaking his truth, specifically speaking his truth to Cas. Where he has been stopped twice before this season. Is going to just drive around in circles for forty years until Sam gets there? Yeah, that’s gonna be a no from me, dawg.

And Sam gets married and has a kid that he names Dean, and the unspecified dark haired woman in the back of the ten minute montage is supposed to be enough for me to buy that it’s Eileen? Bruh.

Also it’s BACK TO BACK MONTAGES??? WITH TWO VERSIONS OF CARRY ON WAYWARD SON?

Sam’s age makeup???? Hello???? AT FIRST THEY DIDN’T EVEN AGE HIM THEY JUST PUT HIM IN A WIG?????

That cover of Wayward Son did slap but was it enough? No.

Even that bridge moment didn’t hit right because Sam didn’t cross it? He was just suddenly there.

It just fucking sucks. It sucks that their reunion doesn’t land right because they...didn’t do anything when they were apart. Sam had his kid sure but Dean literally just drove around. No mention of Cas or of Eileen. Nothing. So the last moment of this show I love feels tainted and hollow and just wrong.

It sucks. I’m not going to lie. But the worst thing about it? Is that it doesn’t make any sense. I have not spent two years of my life picking apart the writing rooms in Supernatural, lauding this current team for what they’ve accomplished for it to end like this. I know many of you will regard me as a complete tinhat freak right now, but this, to me, does not feel like an episode that Andrew Dabb wrote. Hell, it doesn’t feel like an episode of Supernatural.

None of the arcs were completed: Dean didn’t get to speak his truth to Cas, Sam never got to become the leader, the legacy hunter he was meant to. We don’t see them with Cas or Eileen, we don’t even hear about them.

Listen, there’s a lot that...simply doesn’t add up to me. First of all, the episode was SHORT, and most of it was montages. They had four montages AND the episode was only 38 minutes. The series finale of the show was shorter than any other episode and had four multiple minute montages. Okay. Make it make sense. Newsflash: it doesn’t, there is simply no way I can believe that there weren’t massive cuts and reworks done to this episode on an executive level.

I know there are people who will tell me that the writers are just bad and I need to accept that they gave me a shitty ending, but after all this time with this story, especially with Dabb’s arc, he just...doesn’t do shit like this. His arcs are always complete, always tied up well, always have a button. But this mess? This confusing episode that left everything hanging with a cover of Wayward Son hanging in the air? It just doesn’t add up to me.

This wasn’t the story they were telling, this hasn’t been the story they were telling all season, and I stand by that.

So, I sure do wish I could give you a better post. I wish that we had gotten something better. I still, after everything, love this show, and will still be here in the morning.

Thanks guys. Love y’all.

#my meta #supernatural #spn writers #spoilers #spn 15x20 #spn #this was upsetting to write but hey i knew i had to

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mittensmorgul · 4 years ago

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I feel like I should be posting more original content. I’ve been here for so long, posting original content analyzing every detail of this show, and posting literally millions of words on the subject, and the show has gone and done exactly the thing I’ve been writing about, confirmed in text that the story I’ve been watching in the subtext is really the story they were telling all along.

And I could be posting gleefully about the beauty of the most intense metanarrative, the absolute bananapants layers of meta in any piece of media I’ve ever consumed in my 46 years. From the self-referential and universe-bending plotlines to just how deeply embedded ALL of this has become as the central core narrative of the final season, as the characters grapple with what is even real when they’ve been characters in a story beyond their control or understanding for so long only to come so close to earning their freedom and “becoming real” by using their OWN words and declaring for themselves their truth and their happiness and their love.

It’s... mind boggling that everything I’ve ever written about this show is coming back around in a final grand swoop of the narrative arcs that I honestly don’t know what else I can do aside from waving one hand at canon and inviting everyone to just read the entirety of this stupid blog while looking smugly satisfied with myself.

It’s about love. The whole story is, was, and always will be about love. And not just destiel, but the whole damn show. The character of Dean Winchester, for all the jokes about being emotionally constipated, is essentially the embodiment of selfless love and has been since the start of the show. But because of the story itself, he had to become hardened to it, to accept that it wasn’t something he could have for himself if he lived the life he did. And yet he never let that destroy him, despite now understanding that that’s exactly what Chuck spent the last 15 years (and really the entirety of Dean’s life) attempting to do-- to break him for the sake of the story.

Cas’s confession in 15.18 wasn’t just about how Cas loves Dean, but why. Cas, the only version of Castiel in any of Chuck’s infinite universes who broke free of Heaven’s command, did so because of the love he saw in this selfless but self-hating man. Years of crack posts about Dean breaking angels cannot even begin to touch how deep this goes.

One line in Cas’s monologue about Dean thinking of himself as “daddy’s blunt instrument” was a line from season THREE, before Cas ever even MET Dean Winchester and began to know him. It was a phrase that had never been spoken aloud in reality. It happened literally inside Dean’s dream, where he knew he was doomed to go to hell and was confronted by the demon version of himself. Dean said this line TO HIMSELF, IN A DREAM, TWELVE SEASONS AGO. And then yelled down that demon-dream version of himself with this:

DREAM DEAN: Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you?

DEAN: Son of a bitch!

DEAN pushes DREAM DEAN hard, knocking him into the wall above the desk.

DEAN: (screaming angrily) My father was an obsessed bastard!

DREAM DEAN tries to get up and DEAN kicks him down on the desk again. DEAN holds the weapon as a bat and hits DREAM DEAN once and then pins him to the wall with it.

DEAN: All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam! That was his crap. He's the one who couldn't protect his family. He-

DEAN steps back and swings the weapon again, hitting DREAM DEAN twice.

DEAN: He's the one who let Mom die. who wasn't there for Sam. I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me. And I don't deserve to go to Hell!

DEAN shoots DREAM DEAN twice in the chest. As he lowers the weapon and looking at DREAM DEAN, we see the latter is dead. Blood is splattered on DREAM DEAN's face and his eyes are closed.

And then after that, spoiler alert, he went to hell and Cas pulled him out.

Dean: Right. And why would an angel rescue me from Hell? Castiel: Good things do happen, Dean. Dean: Not in my experience. Castiel: What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved?

It took him YEARS to truly get past this. He didn’t really get to confront his own father until season 14, in a sort of “It’s A Wonderful Life” sort of episode where he could see what his life might’ve been like if things had turned out differently. And oh, Cas isn’t in his life. But he gets to confront John with his own self-acceptance, his own confidence in the life he’s made for himself and the people (including Cas) who have become his family. He gets to hear from John that he never wanted that life for Dean, and Dean gets to say, well I would choose this life anyway.

Until Chuck’s revelation pulled that rug out from under him. Dean had been-- if not deliriously happy, at least content with his life. Because it was HIS. And then he found out it wasn’t, that Chuck had always been writing the broad strokes of his life, had always been the one throwing catastrophe after apocalypse after cosmic crisis directly in his path because he wanted to watch Dean struggle to save the world yet again, and finally give him the ending to the story that Chuck wanted-- a broken and devastated Dean who’d sacrificed everything for the story yet again. And suddenly NOTHING about anything made sense to Dean anymore, and even Cas showing up in his life and then weirdly sticking around all these years was suspect to him. He trusted nothing, not his choices or his feelings or his own happiness.

But now? We know (and Dean knows) that Cas was one thing Chuck just couldn’t control. That he was never supposed to think for himself and rebel and fall in love with Dean. And Dean knows that too. He knows all of it. And ALL of that just went wooshing through Dean’s central processing unit in the span of two minutes and came up error messages, because it was too late now and Cas was gone again, and there might not be any getting him back this time.

So unless Dabb era has been entirely about destroying everything that was ever good about this show, and about their own storytelling, and the metanarrative and the subtext and the character arcs, making Dean and Cas’s relationship the main emotional arc of the entire season demands that Dean get a chance to answer to this.

If love is truly the ultimate weapon of their salvation, as the show has been screaming since s11, then Dean gets to keep Cas. Because anything less is failure at this point.

I’m sorry I haven’t been replying to many people in my inbox, but honestly I’m too tired to deal with anxiety over how the story will end. I only care about the story, and I’ve written more about it in the last howeverlong I’ve been at this than I can possibly reiterate before the next episode airs. All I can do is point and gawp at the fact that the story is what I have always thought it was, and be content.

Revenge of the Subtext, indeed.

#spn 15.18 #destiel #the scheherazade of supernatural #revenge of the subtext #it's spirals all the way down #order vs chaos and darkness vs light #using your words #grand unification via love theory #there's probably 3000 posts across those tags and more in other tags linked to those if you wanna know how i feel about this show #i feel like i've written everything bar the shouting at the end at this point #lol including Revenge of the Subtext aka my first dcbb fic back in 2015 so like... *eternal shrug emojis*#i don't know what else to say at this point other than you either read anything i've written in the last 8 years or so or like...#nothing i say now is really gonna help i guess #lol i even wrote about how chuck was controlling the story way back in s11 so like...#i think i was one of the few holdouts in s11 who was convinced that amara didn't need to be killed but reunited with chuck #from like two days after 10.23 aired and before we knew she was amara or that chuck would ever come back #or that he was god lol... i was calling them darkness and light or creation and destruction #i wrote a lot of wackadoo sounding shit because we had no context to define them yet but ALL of it held up all season #and then dabb era ushered in the age of the metanarrative where the story unfolded on at least six levels simultaneously #and i get that's not every casual fan's cup of tea but for someone invested in the characters it ws GLORIOUS #they laid this whole trail of subtext and meta breadcrumbs all the way up to this point circling around a huge pole holding up the entire #story... and the center of it all is LOVE and it's an angel's love of a single human that the show has been pointing at forever #you draped yourself in the flag of heaven but really you did it all to save one human... hello season 9!#and a broken human's love of an angel he feared he could never deserve... and that's the love that can defeat every cosmic power out there #that's what we have left to watch in the final two episodes and i honestly don't know what else to say #love wins

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irrlicht-writes · 4 years ago

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the path we choose to walk on

Part 1 of my Fix-It for 15x20. There will be more parts, so keep a look out! Also I’m thinking of a tag list, anyone interested? Let me know! @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @cass-said-i-love-you

Ao3

PART 1: a length of rope

“Freedom,” Sam says. “What do we do with it?”

Dean looks over to his brother, smiling. There is no story left for them, not ever again. Now, they make sure the book gets a good end. They deserve a soft end, don’t they?

“Whatever we want,” Dean replies and they drive away.

“I can’t reach her,” Sam says and panics. He’s holding his phone in his hand and tries again. Dean wants to help, but he doesn’t know how. What if she lost her phone? Because she came back. Jack had brought everybody back, right? Jack wouldn’t leave her behind, right?

She’s important to Sam.

“Can you locate her phone?” Dean asks and Sam nods. His hands are shaking. Dean reaches over and grabs one of them, squeezing it.

“We’ll find her, Sammy,” he says and Sam tries to smile.

Dean is sure of it. There is a happy end waiting. What’s a little more work? What’s a little more searching? Sam will get what he deserves. Sam will get the girl and Dean... well, Dean has Miracle. But that’s not important right now. Right now, Sam’s hand is important. If he can provide just a little support to his brother, then he’ll do that.

“The GPS says she’s right there.”

Sam’s voice quivers and he looks through the windshield. He doesn’t look at Dean.

“Then let’s go there,” Dean says and Sam nods, looking back down at his phone.

Dean starts to drive. There is the open road in front of them; and at the end, Eileen will be waiting.

“There’s a pie contest in this town,” Sam says and Dean looks at the road sign. Huh. They’ve been driving for a while now and a break would be nice if Dean is honest.

“I was also reading the local news and I think there might be a case here.”

So there is a case here, huh? After the entire God thing, a normal case would be really nice. And the pie contest sounds incredibly tempting. It almost sounds too normal and Dean almost wants to pull over. It’s been a long time since he’s had some pie.

But here’s the thing.

Dean doesn’t want to hunt anymore. He doesn’t want to go chasing after the monsters anymore.

“You’ve fought for this whole world for love.”

He’s not a killer. He’s never wanted to be. He simply had never been given the choice but Cas – Castiel saw him for what he was. And Dean believes him. He looks over to Sam and smiles.

“I don’t want pie, Sammy. Let’s keep driving.”

They never go to Dabb’s Pie Festival.

In the afternoon sun, an old nail shimmers in an empty barn.

It’s quiet in the town.

Someone else takes care of the monster.

Nobody dies that day.

Sam’s hand is shaking.

He’s saying that they’re getting close. Even Dean is getting anxious. Sam deserves a happy end. And Dean will figure himself out, like he always does. He thinks about the trench coat he carries in the trunk. Cas is always going to be with him. When he puts the trench coat on, Cas will protect him again, like he always did.

In lonely nights, the trench coat will bring back Cas to him.

“We’re close. She must be here somewhere.”

Sam’s voice is shaking hard. Dean nods and slows the car down.

“Try calling her again,” Dean says.

Sam nods and tries again. She doesn’t need to answer; she just needs to pick up the phone. She just needs to give a little sign of life. Sam is breathing heavily. Dean is scanning the surroundings, hoping to spot a lost woman in the crowd.

When they find her, he should ask Eileen to dye her hair green. That would make her easier to find, at least.

“She doesn’t pick up,” Sam whispers and Dean clenches his jaw.

“We’ll find her,” he says. He has hope. He has faith. He has Castiel in his heart.

Eventually, they stop at the side curb. Sam is trying hard not to cry and Dean wants to cheer him up.

“Cas told me he loves me,” he says and Sam snivels.

“He saved me,” he says and Sam is blinking at him.

“I’m not the killer I believed I was because Cas saw me for who I really am,” he says and Sam is reaching out his hand. Dean doesn’t take it.

“It’s the first time I saw him cry. He was happy, he said. Loving me made him happy,” he says and looks at Sam.

“We’ll find Eileen because that’s what Cas would’ve wanted. Let’s do something for love. I don’t want to be angry anymore. I don’t want to yell anymore. I want to do things because I care. I care about you, I care about Cas, I care about Jack and I care about the whole world – I care so much because I love. I love you, I love Jack, I love the world and I love Cas. I will forever regret that I never got to tell him. He died, Sam, he died without knowing that I loved him like he deserved. At the end, he died believing he was expendable. In the end, he died thinking that he was just a pawn, nothing important. But Sam, without Cas – we wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be, you wouldn’t be, Eileen wouldn’t be, Jack wouldn’t be.

I always believed that I corrupted him, an angel from Heaven, but in reality? He freed us. In everything we’ve done, Castiel is the only one that did the right thing. He broke free of the story because he wanted to. We’re here, Sam, because Cas dared to do the impossible: he defied God and he got punished and he defied God again. He’s the only one who ever made a choice; whose choice allowed us to go on. And we never told him. We never told him that he did everything right. He never felt at home in the Bunker. He always believed he was a second-rate person.

I never got to tell him, Sam. I’ll never see him again because Jack won’t answer me. I want to do this for him. I want to do it for love. And you’ll get your ending with Eileen, like you deserve. It’s not too late, Sammy.

I want – I need love to win. I can’t get it. But you can. So we’ll find Eileen. And we won’t stop until we’ve found her. And then you’ll tell her that you love her and love can win. It’s not too late. I want to prove right by Cas. I want to be the guy that he saw. I need to be the guy that he fell in love with. I can be. I know I can. So let’s go find your girl.”

Dean steps out of the car.

It’s a nice and warm summer day.

He looks up at the sun.

It’s a nice day to be alive.

After hours of searching, they find her. She’s sitting on a park bench and she’s small and frail and weak and Dean is angry at whoever would do this to her. She’s holding the phone in her hand and Dean realises. She’s seen the calls, she’s seen the texts, but she’s been too shocked to react. After all, who knows what exactly happened to those who came back?

“Eileen,” Sam whispers and he starts running. Dean follows slowly. He’s smiling. Sam can get his happy ending after all and it feels good. Cas would be happy for them too.

Sam falls to his knees in front of her and Eileen sobs, falling into his arms. It’s touching, really and Dean almost wants to turn away. Sam and Eileen are both crying.

Dean reaches into his pocket and wraps his hand around the mix tape. Dean had found it in Cas’ room and he hadn’t been able to leave it behind.

“Hey Cas,” he says and looks up at the sky even though there is no point. Cas isn’t there. But Cas is always in the sky. He’s always someone Dean can look up to.

“We found Eileen. Isn’t that great? Maybe now Sam can get out of this life and I... Cas, I want out too. I don’t want to be Dean Winchester, the killer anymore. I want to be a Dean Winchester where I go into bars and have drinks and I want to ride another mechanical bull and I want a house I can return to. I want to hunt every now and again when something’s going on in the area but I don’t want to chase the monsters anymore. I want to watch chick flicks and I want to wash my car in booty shorts.

I want to have a porch with a nice garden and I want an old recliner I can sit in when I watch my shows. We could’ve watched so many shows together; like stupid sitcoms, y’know? You would’ve laughed at all the dumb jokes, man; you really should’ve laughed more.

I’ll be better than I was, Cas. I’ll be the man you saw in me, because you’re right. I won’t lash out anymore because I remember – I remember that you said I did these things out of love. Dean Winchester is loved.

You – you were it, Cas. In all this mess, you were the one good thing that happened to me. Remember when we met? Good things do happen, Dean? This good thing was you, Cas. It was always you and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I never told you. I’m so sorry that I made you think you didn’t matter and that you were expendable.

You never were. You were always so important. You never had to come back to me, but you did. You came back every single time.”

Dean bows his head.

The sun ahead is mocking him.

“I just wish I could tell you. I wish I could make you understand. But I’m too late. I’m always too late for these things, Cas.”

He had never held Castiel’s hand. He had never ruffled Castiel’s hair. He had never been able to make Castiel wear different clothes. He had never explained the finer things in life to Castiel. And now it is too late.

But he wants to accept himself for who he is. He doesn’t want to hide anymore. Cas loves him exactly as he is and Dean wants to be proud of that.

“Dean,” Sam says and Dean looks up. Sam and Eileen have stopped crying and that’s good. He waves at Eileen who smiles at him.

Sam is happy. It’s so easy to see on his face. It feels good. They got a win. They got a final win and Sam could finally have the white picket-fence that he deserves. And Dean would cope. Dean would just cope. Sam and Eileen would have babies and Dean could be the cool uncle.

And hey, maybe he could become a godparent to Garth’s Cas. Yes. That is a nice thought.

“I could feel your longing,” someone behind him says and Dean whips around just to be face to face with Jack.

“Jack,” he whispers and the boy lifts his hand in response. It’s good to see that Jack is still Jack. Cas would be proud of his son. Dean just wishes Castiel had been there to see it. Dean just wishes that Castiel would be here now to see this.

“I can’t bring him back,” Jack says and Dean knows. That’s why he didn’t ask back then. Cas was gone; and the Empty held the angel forever now. It’s okay. Dean would learn to live with this hole in his heart.

“But,” Jack then continues and Dean looks up.

“I can help you bring him back.”

Sam is holding Eileen tight but Dean can barely see. What did Jack just say?

The boy gestures into the air.

“I can open a portal to the Empty and protect you while you’re in it. But you have to find Cas; and you have to convince him to leave. He has to want to leave that place. As soon as he wants that, I can get him out.”

He looks at Dean.

“You can make him want to leave, Dean. He thinks you’re better off without him, and you need to prove him wrong.”

Dean’s heart is beating too fast. Could this be true? Could this truly be true? What if he died in the car or Chuck killed him or this is just a fever dream because maybe he got impaled on something or –

“I’ll go, too,” Sam says.

Dean turns around to look at him. Sam looks determined.

“I love Cas, too,” he says, “not like you do, but I love him all the same. You told me to get my girl, then, so I’m telling you now, let’s go get your man.”

Eileen nods.

Dean nods.

Sam nods.

Jack nods.

Jack opens a portal and Dean and Sam step through it, into eternal darkness.

Eileen will wait. She’ll wait forever for Sam.

Jack will wait. He’ll wait forever for Cas.

“Where do we go?” Sam asks and Dean doesn’t know how to answer.

He’s breathing hard because there’s nothing here. It’s just dark. How is he supposed to find Cas in all this darkness? This isn’t like tracking down a GPS signal.

“Dean,” Sam says and puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean tries to catch his breath. But all he knows is Cas. Cas Cas Cas Cas Cas Cas.

“Follow your heart,” Sam says and Dean isn’t sure if he can do that. Cas. He wants Cas. Cas always comes back to him. He can do it this once. He can find Cas, just this once when it matters.

His whole body is shaking and he looks around but it doesn’t help. Find Cas, he has to find Cas. He has to trust himself, he has to trust Cas. He isn’t going to leave this place without Cas. Sam is right behind him. This is the final obstacle. The final monster they have to defeat. Dean can do it. Dean can triumph over the Empty and in the end, love wins.

He takes a deep breath.

And then he starts walking.

Sam follows behind.

One last time.

Dean stops.

He doesn’t know how far they’ve walked because there is nothing here. But something tells him to stop. Something tells him that this is the right spot. He closes his eyes and kneels down on the ground.

“Cas,” he says because that’s all that matters.

Sam stands behind him and it’s a comforting presence. He’s not alone. He’s never been alone. He’s not alone in this trial and Sam will support him.

“Why is it always you?!” He hears himself shout and Dean opens his eyes. They’re somewhere else. He can see himself standing there; and he’s screaming at Cas. Why? Why is he screaming? Why is he always screaming –?

“Every time we fix something you broke; you turn around and break something else!”

Dean gets up from the ground.

“Dean I just wanted to do the right thing,” Cas says and it’s so good to hear his voice.

“The right thing?! You’ve never done the right thing, Cas! Everything you do just makes things even worse! It’s like you don’t care about us at all!”

“Dean, please –“

“Fucking can it, Cas! We don’t need you! We’ve never needed you! I’ve been just too nice to let you stay all this time, you hear me? But this ends here, alright? It’s over, Castiel. If you come back, I will personally get rid of you. You don’t deserve anything, Castiel and I hope your asshole angel brothers exile you to the furthest desert and let you rot there in all eternity. I’m done with you. And now please excuse me while I try to save the world you want to see burn.”

No.

No no no no no no no.

How could he say that? But Dean knows. Dean knows that this is what he’s been like. And Cas, good, pure Cas, just took it all. How could he do that? How could he treat Cas this way? Why did Cas ever come back? Why –

“It’s okay,” Cas says to a little bird and Dean sobs.

“He’s angry because he cares so much. One day, if I’m good, then he’ll care about me too. I just need to prove myself. Once I’ll do something right, he’ll smile at me, you know? I just have to earn his care. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“Cas,” Dean sobs and Cas turns around. But he doesn’t look at Dean. Dean wants to go to him and hold him and apologise for himself.

“Cas, please come back to me,” Dean sobs and Cas tilts his head.

But then Dean blinks and Cas is gone.

“Cas,” Dean cries and Sam’s hands on his shoulder don’t help at all.

“Man, I love boobs,” he hears himself say and he doesn’t want to listen.

“Oh?” Castiel replies.

“Yeah. Honestly, I don’t get how people could be into dick.”

Castiel frowns. “Are women not?”

“Well yeah. I meant – I meant other dudes. Why would I want another dick if I could get boobs?”

Castiel is quiet for a while. “You don’t like men being with other men?”

This time, Dean hears how quiet Cas’ voice is. He hates it. Why hadn’t he ever heard before? It’s because he didn’t want to hear. He hadn’t cared. If he had just listened back then, then – then maybe...

“No. I mean, I don’t care. It’s just not for me, y’know? I couldn’t ever see myself liking dick. Like, someone else’s dick. I don’t know. I think I’m missing the appeal.”

Castiel looks so sad. Back then, Dean hadn’t seen. He hadn’t cared. He had never cared. Why had he never cared?

“It’s okay,” Cas says after Dean is gone.

“I can still be his friend. I just want to be with him. It’s enough. It’s enough. I have no other choice. It has to be enough. It doesn’t... it doesn’t matter what I want. I don’t matter. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

At the end, Cas’ voice breaks. Dean’s heart breaks too.

“You matter, Cas,” he whispers, “you always mattered.”

Cas looks up but again, he doesn’t see Dean. Dean tries to get closer.

“I’m an idiot,” Dean says, “and I never deserved you. But please, please, come back to me, Cas, please.”

“It’s okay,” Castiel says and it’s raining. Dean is cold. He recognises this.

“I’m not useful to him right now, so that’s why he sent me away.”

“Cas, no,” Dean whispers breathlessly but Cas doesn’t look at him.

“I had just hoped that – that maybe now he and I could be... that we could be...” Castiel’s voice breaks away.

Cas is walking through the dark evening and the sky looks like rain. Dean wants to go to him, wrap him up in his jacket and hold him close and tell him how much he matters.

“I’m not his friend,” Cas says and Dean’s breath hitches hard.

“He’s always just needed my powers but now that I’ve got none of them left, I lost my usefulness to him. It’s okay. He saved me from April. That means something, right? It means he cares just a little bit. Maybe – maybe if I’m really good and prove myself, then he’ll take me back. I’ll just become a very good human being and then Dean will see that I’m worth it. He’ll say that it was just a test to see how I’d do and then I’ll have passed and he’ll hug me and we can eat burritos together.

I hope he’s fine. He’s got Sam. He’s got Sam and I’ve got nobody. It’s okay. It’s okay. It has to be okay. Get a grip, Castiel. You’re going to be just fine. You’ll ace this human thing and then you can go back to Dean and tell him you’ve done well.

It’s okay. It’s okay. He’ll smile at you and clap you on the back and he’ll tell you that your home is with them in the Bunker and you’ll get to help. They’ll value you, they both will, because they’ll care for you.

You just have to get there. You can do it. You can do it. It’s okay. It’s okay. It has to be okay. You’ve got no other choice. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

Castiel’s voice is quiet and flat and it breaks Dean’s heart. How did Cas ever see anything good in him? He’s done nothing but degrade the angel, again and again.

“Cas,” he cries. “Please come back to me.”

Cas turns his head.

“Who’s there?” he asks but Dean’s fading away.

“He doesn’t love you,” Lucifer says.

“I know,” Castiel replies.

“So why are you holding on to him?”

Castiel blinks and looks at Lucifer. He doesn’t answer.

“You’ve let the devil possess you, all in the desperate effort to save that mud-monkey. Tell me why he deserves it. Tell me why I shouldn’t just get rid of both of them.”

“Because,” Castiel says, “I will cast you out if you do. They’re important to me. It doesn’t matter what they think of me. I will do everything they ask without question.”

“You’re a fool,” Lucifer says.

“Yes,” Castiel agrees. “But I chose this fate by my own free will. And I keep choosing it. I will forever keep choosing this. It’s worth it. They’re worth it. Dean’s worth it.”

Lucifer grabs him and slams him against a wall. They’re in the Bunker kitchen, Dean realises.

“Then maybe you should suffer for your precious human.”

“For him, I’ll do anything.”

“You’re broken beyond repair, Castiel. I don’t even know what’s still holding you together.”

Castiel smiles.

He doesn’t scream when Lucifer punches him through the gut, but Dean does. He can’t move.

Castiel looks at him. Castiel sees him. Dean can’t speak. He doesn’t know how. Castiel smiles.

“It’s okay,” he says with blood running over his lips.

“I love him,” Castiel says and Dean sees himself raking leaves.

He remembers this. It’s when he was staying with Lisa.

“But I can’t have him,” Castiel says and Dean takes a step closer to him.

“He deserves his peace,” Castiel says and Dean’s legs are shaking.

“And I’m not supposed to feel,” Castiel says and Dean is getting closer.

“I’m a broken angel,” Castiel says and Dean reaches out his hand.

“Nobody would ever love a dysfunctional angel,” Castiel says and Dean’s almost there.

“I’ll watch over him,” Castiel says and it’s just one more step.

“It’s okay,” Castiel says and Dean hugs him.

“It’s not okay,” Dean says and Castiel doesn’t move.

“I’m sorry,” Dean says and Castiel turns his head.

“I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through,” Dean says and Castiel tries to turn in Dean’s arms.

“You’re not broken,” Dean says and Castiel puts his hand on Dean’s arm.

“I can never make it up to you,” Dean says and blinks away the tears. Castiel is silent.

“But I want to try,” Dean says and lifts his head. Castiel is looking at him.

“I can’t go on without you,” Dean says and Castiel puts a hand on Dean’s cheek.

“I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist,” Dean says and Castiel is wiping away a tear.

“You’ve always been worth the world, Cas,” Dean says and his lip quivers. Castiel puts a finger on it.

“Please come back to me,” Dean whispers and closes his eyes.

“Dean,” Castiel says and Dean looks at him.

“I love you,” Castiel says and Dean laughs with a broken cry.

“Please come back to me,” Dean whimpers, “I want you with me.”

Before Castiel can answer, he’s fading away.

Everything is fading away and Dean fights, he fights so hard to hold on but everything is slipping through his fingers.

“Cas!” He yells. “Cas! Cas! Cas, please!”

“Cas, please don’t leave me!”

In the end, nothing remains.

Eileen holds Sam tight. Dean is sitting on the ground and Jack has put his hand on his shoulder. It feels wrong.

“You tried all you could,” Jack says and Dean thinks he’s a crappy liar.

It’s never enough. He was just there, witnessing all this and he couldn’t even change anything in the end.

“It’s okay,” he says. He wonders if Cas had felt just as hollow whenever he had to tell himself that it was okay. He can’t ever make it up to Cas. Dean’s had the most pure being just within arm’s reach and he’s fucked up.

He couldn’t even say it. He couldn’t even say I love you back. What has been the point? He hadn’t even been able to say it back. Cas deserves better than this.

You have to keep fighting, Cas had once said. And maybe Dean has to do just that. What else does he have left?

He looks over to Sam and Eileen. They look at him with pity and he hates it.

“Let’s go,” he says instead and stands up. He can see that Sam wants to say something but he shakes his head. He doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t need to be patronised. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. If Cas had always been able to move on, then so could Dean.

He heads for the car.

He thinks about the trench coat in the back.

“I love you, Castiel,” he whispers into the wind, but nobody answers.

Two weeks pass and Dean tries. He wants to drink, but he doesn’t. He wants to hole up in his room, but he takes Miracle on walks instead. Cas would be proud of him, taking care of himself. And in time, he would be able to get out further. Get a job, get new friends. In time, Dean would get there. He prays to Cas every night and somewhere in his heart he hopes that Cas can still hear him. It gives him comfort.

“You know, Miracle,” he says while he’s collecting the dog poop. “You would’ve liked Cas. He makes me really happy, you know? Just like you do.”

The dog barks excitedly and Dean smiles.

“And Cas would’ve liked you too. He has a tan coat, you know? It’s the one you always try to sniff like there are treats inside the pockets. Cas would’ve always had some for you, you know? He’s good like that. You would’ve gotten along really well.”

Miracle whines and tries to cheer him up. Dean laughs a little.

“Now, now. It’s okay. I’m okay. I’ll miss him, I’ll miss him forever but I have to keep living, y’know? For Cas. Cas wouldn’t want me to wallow in self-pity for all eternity. So I’ll do it for him. I’ll be the man he saw in me because I know I can be. I just need a little more time. And you’ll be here for me, won’t you?”

Miracle barks as if to say of course. Dean laughs.

“Of course,” he echoes. Castiel said it all the time. Dean realises now that must’ve meant of course I love you, at least on some end.

“The purest being in the universe loves me,” Dean says. “You should’ve seen him smile, Miracle. You wouldn’t love me so much if you’d ever see him smile. I should’ve made him smile more.”

“We bought a house,” Sam says two months later. Dean just nods. It was inevitable and he’s happy for them. He smiles.

“That’s great, Sammy,” he says, “as long as I get a key?”

Sam laughs and shoves at him. It feels good. Life has to go on. He’s going to be okay. He looks to Eileen who’s making a small shush motion and Dean just winks.

“You could come with us, Dean. I don’t want to leave you here alone.”

Dean looks around. Sam’s right. Being alone in the Bunker isn’t going to be good for his mental health. But he doesn’t want to impose on Sam and Eileen. He needs a job. He’s wallowed long enough.

Dean nods.

“You’re right. I need a job, a real one with money. I’ll only sit on you as long as I absolutely have to, but you’re right. It’d be too quiet here, just on my own.”

He needs to move on.

I’m proud of you, Dean.

Dean smiles. Cas is with him, always. It’s a good feeling.

He stands up and hugs his family. They hug back.

It feels good.

The ache will never go away, but it feels good.

Someday, he’ll be at peace.

#supernatural #Destiel #fix-it #angst #castiel #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #eileen leahy #hurt #hurt/comfort #writing #irrlicht writes #dean x castiel #spn 15x20 #userpris #it gets better #watch out for the rest

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teamfreewill2pointo · 4 years ago

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Sam’s Emotional Arc 1/3

I hated the finale immediately, but I’ve spent some time with it and talked to friends who loved it. I can see now what it was about, and I’ve come to appreciate the story they were trying to tell, even if I think it didn’t land right.

I’ve been told that my meta on this has helped other people come to terms with the finale, so I thought I’d compile it in one place from across various discord channels and twitter posts. If you are struggling with the finale, I hope it helps you.

Part of this actually started with a shit post. I was making a joke about Sam being psychic since he was scared of clowns when Dean died by one. I realized that may have been deliberate. I dug into the story more and now I’m convinced it was. Then I came across some excellent meta that fit with the themes I was finding and opened up the series even more for me.

Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.

Cas said it. Dean accepted it. Sam lived it. First, Sam’s journey.

Clowns pop up in s15 before the barn scene. In 15.01, which was written by Dabb, Sam is injured by a clown. Castiel is able to save Sam and heal his injury. The clown keeps coming after Sam, with Sam having fight scenes with the clown, while others attack the other ghosts. The clown is kicking the shit out of Sam again, and Castiel saves him once more. Sam is unable to fight off the clown on his own both times.

They run until they are able to escape outside a magical barrier. Sam turns to the clown and says, “shut up”.

This is literally Sam running from his fears. On top of that, this isn’t just any clown, but the ghost of John Wayne Gacy, from an episode also written by Dabb.

Dean: A serial killer clown. I mean, this is, like, the best/worst thing that’s ever happened to you, you know, ‘cause you love serial killers, but – but you hate clowns.

Sam gets nervous and struggles with the lighter before he’s able to get rid of the clown, for now.

I believe this is a metaphor for hunting in general: it’s both the best of Sam’s life and also the worst. The clowns symbolize his relationship with Dean.

Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie was co-written by Dabb (see the pattern?). Sam’s fear of clowns was known since season 2. In season 7, Dabb explored where this fear came from.

On the surface, Sam’s fear is just because he found them creepy, but the episode explains that they actually come from Sam’s fear of being left behind by Dean.

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This episode comes directly after an episode where Sam worried that Dean would get himself killed

Sam: Look... Dean, the thing is, tonight... It almost got you killed. Now, I don't care how you deal. I really, really don't. But just don't – don't get killed. Dean: I'll do what I can. Sam: Well, what's that supposed to mean? Dean: It means I'll do what I can. All right? You can shut up about it.

Sam is dealing with Hallucifer at this moment, but Hallucifer doesn’t really scare him. Losing Dean does.

Sam has a conversation with an employee about greatest fears.

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Recognize the actress? She came back for s15 in 15.06. I don’t believe this was a coincidence. 15.06 featured Castiel helping a parent find their lost child in a season that features Castiel worried about losing Jack. Through his experience with her, Castiel confronts his fears and doubts and then returns to join in the fight against God. [I’ll touch on Castiel’s journey more in his chapter]

Sam’s greatest fear is losing Dean. There’s a lot in the series about how Sam felt lonely and abandoned for much of his childhood. A whole episode, Just My Imagination, centers around this. Sam hated when Dean went off on hunts without him.

source In The Chitters, Sam tells Dean how his fear of losing his family paralyzed him as child. It’s a story where an older brother dies and the younger brother never recovers from it until he’s able to lay him to rest (sound familiar???)

Sam: You know, whenever you and Dad used to leave me to go hunting, and I-and I wouldn’t hear from y’all for a while, I, um, I was always sure that some vamp or rugaru, or take your pick, I always figured one of them finally got ya. I tried to think what to do, you know, the next step to take. I was just lost. Dean: We came back, though, every time.

You might naturally think, “Wait a minute! Sam left Dean multiple times!” Honestly, this was something I had a huge issue with when watching through the show the first time. I didn’t understand Sam and hated him leaving Dean in s8. I was completely on Dean’s side at first. But, on multiple rewatches and talking to others, I’ve realized that when Sam left Dean, he was running from his fear. In this TV Guide interview, Jared perfectly sums up why Sam left in season 1; he couldn’t stand to see his family die. Dabb wrote Dark Side of the Moon along with a comic that explains why Sam left in detail. While the comic isn’t official canon, it shows Dabb’s thought process. In it, Sam sees his family as running towards a horrible end and can’t handle dealing with that.

Dean: So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it? Sam: No. Not normal. Safe.

There are many more points in the series where we learn about Sam’s fear of Dean dying. This would be 3948573945 pages long if I wrote them all out, so I’m going to focus on the key moments that loop back to this ending, but there’s so much more there.

If you are struggling with this and need more, please let me know and I can do a deeper dive into that subject. We first see Sam’s inability to let Dean go in season 1 when Sam refuses to let Dean die in Faith.

Dean: You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you? Sam: I'm not gonna let you die, period. We're going.

Sam’s whole arc in s3 is him being unable to handle Dean dying. He wants to save Dean, but Dean won’t let himself be saved. This was what Gabriel was trying to teach him in Mystery Spot.

Trickster: This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Dean's your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too. It's gonna be the death of you, Sam. Sometimes you just gotta let people go.

This is how Ruby gets under Sam’s skin and what gets him to start working with her. Everything Sam did was to save Dean. In s4, Sam’s arc is about him sacrificing himself in order to save Dean. He’s gutted from being unable to save Dean. In 4.12, Sam decides to drink demon blood in order to save Dean

Dean: [says that they will die early] Sam: Maybe we'll be different, Dean. Dean: What kind of Kool-Aid you drinking, man? Sammy, it ends bloody or sad. That's just the life. Sam: What if we could win?Dean: "Win"?Sam: If there was a way we could just...put an end to all of it.

When Sam breaks out of the panic room, he’s suicidal. He’s determined to save Dean with his life as the cost he’s willing to pay. He didn’t think he would survive killing Lilith. He was committing suicide in that moment. The reason why Sam is so willing to sacrifice himself in s5 is because he has low self esteem. He blames himself for everything that goes wrong. In Sam, Interrupted 5.11, also by Dabb, Sam has a breakdown under the weight of his guilt. He hates himself and he feels his rage is out of control. In season 6, we see soulless Sam and, unlike souled Sam, he has no rage. Yes, he’ll kill when necessary, but he’s not angry. It was Sam’s fear driving his rage. He felt out of control of his life and let it lead him down a dark path. In season 7, he sees Dean heading down a dark path and he feels helpless to stop it. He worries about dragging Dean down and tells Dean to let him go. But, at the same time, he’s developing coping techniques. He’s starting to face his fears.

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And then Dean disappears and Sam completely falls apart. Sam didn’t have a healthy relationship with Amelia. They were two broken people clinging to each other. Sam and Dean struggle to reconnect after their time apart. There’s a lot of text addressing the horror of a partner dying and people trying to escape from it.

Mrs Holmes: He could see the end of my days were at hand, and... He had lived centuries all alone, but I don't think he could bear the thought of life without me. That's why he drove off that bridge. You must think I'm a monster.

In Hunteri Heroica written by GUESS WHO!?!? Sam finally acknowledges that he was living in a dream world with Amelia. He was running from his past. We see a flash back with Sam pressing on his scar, which he did to help himself distinguish fantasy from reality.

The episode is about a man refusing to engage in reality and harming those around him. Sam has a big confrontation with him

Sam: Look, it can be nice living in a dream world. It can be great. I know that. And you can hide, and you can pretend... all the crap out there doesn't exist, but you can't do it forever because... eventually, whatever it is you're running from – it'll find you. [CASTIEL appears to be taking Sam’s words to heart.] It'll come along, and it'll punch you in the gut. And then... then you got to wake up, because if you don't, then trying to keep that dream alive will destroy you! It'll destroy everything!

Likewise, when Sam was with Jessica, he wasn’t honest about himself. He was hiding from his family and his past. Running to avoid pain. Sam is avoidant in general. Not just in his relationship with Dean. When he talks with Rowena in 13.12 Various & Sundry Villains about his fears of Lucifer, he admits that he could talk about it with Dean, but he can’t bring himself to.

Sam: I’ve seen it too. What he really looks like behind – behind whatever vessel. It… Yeah, still keeps me up at night. Rowena: How do you deal with it? Sam: I guess I don’t deal with it. Not really. I mean, I pushed it down and, um, the world kept almost ending, so I keep pushing it down, and I don’t know. [stammering] I really don’t talk about it, not even with Dean. I mean, I could. You know, he’d listen, but… That’s not something I really know how to share.

In 15.20, Sam’s past is front and center. Literally. I know a lot of people found the Winchester family portrait odd and upsetting, but it symbolizes something I’ll get to in a bit. Instead of trying to avoid his grief, Sam has moments where he lets it wash over him. He goes and sits in the car. He’s no longer avoidant. He’s no longer running away. He’s letting his grief move through him. He’s literally sitting with it.

Soulless Puppy pointed out that the characters emotional arcs is similar to DBT. Please look through their awesome meta here.

Personally, I see them as similar to the therapy I do called ACT. Both are forms of therapy where instead of fighting against them, you accept painful emotions and allow yourself to feel them. If you don’t do that work, then you can’t stop feeling them and your fears/ghosts will always haunt you. In Swan Song, Chuck tells us that “Dean didn't want Cas to save him. Every part of him, every fiber he's got, wants to die, or find a way to bring Sam back. But he isn't gonna do either. Because he made a promise.” In 15.20, Sam initially didn’t want to let Dean go. He’s been refusing to do this since season 1. When he’s separated from Dean he lives a fake life or destroys himself/the world trying to get Dean back. There’s a moment in 15.20 where Sam looks at Dean’s guns. He wants to commit suicide, but he makes the choice to live. For the time in Sam’s life, he let Dean go and lived with his pain. He no longer ran from it. After Swan Song, Dean was unable to let Sam go. He wanted him back. After Carry On, Sam is able to do what Dean couldn’t do. He lives a life outside of Dean. What’s more, Sam has reconciled himself with his past and his family. It’s clumsy and I wish it were better shown, but having the family portrait and their parents in heaven isn’t meant to excuse the way Sam and Dean were raised. In order to move past the trauma of his relationship with his parents, Sam fully integrates them into his life. In Lebanon, Sam was able to confront and forgive his father. In doing so, he can also forgive himself. Mary asks for forgiveness too, and he grants it to her. He doesn’t forget what happened, but he’s able to move forward and leave the intergenerational cycle of violence. He’s able to raise his son, Dean, the way his brother should have been raised.

Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.

Cas said it. Dean accepted it. Sam lived it.

I can see why people see Sam’s life after Dean as unhappy. I hated it so much because I saw it as horrible and sad the first time through. I had to sit with myself and my emotions first. I think it’s because we’ve been told by society that we have to get rid of our grief in order to be happy. The finale was showing us that it’s possible to do the opposite. [Personally I think it would’ve been better had they showed more overtly happy memories, but many of my friends saw this straight away] When I began therapy, one of the first things I learned was that there aren’t “negative” emotions. When working with our kids, we call them Big emotions. In DBT/ACT, all emotions are treated as normal and natural. Grief, anger, sadness, etc, these are all normal parts of the human existence. We don’t need to run from them in order to have happiness. We can live with them. As interstitial said in our chats, “you can't change the past, you can only change your relationship to it. To accept that your past contained both love and heartache, to miss it, but also know you can do better; that's actual recovery, as good as it gets.” As Soulless-Puppy explained to me, Sam lived in duality. Dean was dead, but Sam lived. Sam was happy, but he grieved. Dean was with him in the watch and the car and his son, but Dean also waited for him in heaven. I hated the finale the first time I saw it, then next watched it with my boyfriend who loved it. As we were watching together and discussing it, I realized that Dean’s death scene wasn’t just about him, but about the show itself.

Dean promising Sam that he will be with Sam in Sam’s heart is also the show promising us that they will never leave it. That’s why Alex kept posting “The end has no end.” Just as Sam carried Dean with him in his heart, we will carry the show with us. I hope this helps. It’s a terrible thing to feel upset about an ending and thinking of the show this way, recognizing these patterns, is bringing me peace. I still have issues with how it was written, but now that I see what they were doing, I wish all the more that they had the chance to do it right. Please share your thoughts and experiences. I love hearing different opinions. Next up, Dean. Then Castiel.

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canonicallysoulmates · 4 years ago

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As all of you probably already know, Jared had a solo virtual panel last Sunday (on the 22nd). If by chance you haven’t seen it I highly recommend checking it out, as always I will be linking to it at the end of the post. For anyone curious, he did talk a bit about the final episode of Supernatural and about Sam’s ending.

Y’all know the drill so let’s just jump into my thoughts:

- I’m still not used to seeing him with his new short hair, and I love his longer hair so I hope he grows it out again someday, but it looks so good on him! It makes him look younger and so cute 😍

- Speaking of his hair, he’s not used to it either! He was asking for hair advice at the beginning of the panel because he doesn’t know how to manage it yet 😂

- He was asked what his 3 favorite episodes are and he said: the finale, Sacrifice and French Mistake. The Finale because he is a fan of storytelling and for him the finale answered a lot of questions and wrapped things up in a way that he found meaningful, poignant, and frustrating but in a wonderful way, Sacrifice because it’s another episode were we really get to see inside the boys and see their commitment to each other, and French Mistake because it was fun and it really stands out in his mind as an hour of tv that he doesn’t know if any other show could do.

- He said Sam and Cordell Walker would be friends, I’m soft 🥺

- Was asked his fav HP book, movie and spell. Book and movie are pretty much the same: Deathly Hallows, pt 2 in the case of the movie. Spell he said Expecto Patronum...then he said Sam and Dean were each other’s patronus...because when Sam was in trouble Dean was there and when Dean was in trouble Sam was there...I’m fine.... JARED PADALECKI WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

- I didn’t even have time to come down from those feels cause right afterwards he was asked his craziest, funniest bts moment he had on spn through all the years, and he gave two examples: when he was waiting for Tom to be born and when he and Jensen were waiting for the twins to be born.

I was not ready for this man to go into a full blown story about the day the twins were born. If you hear screaming, it's me losing my mind.

So, he mentions how when Tom was to be born he was anxiously waiting for G to message him and how after she did they filmed a couple more scenes before Clif drove him to Seattle. And he says that it was the same when Jensen’s twins were to be born, that everyone was glued to their phones and that it was a bit farther travel because D had the twins in Austin and so and I quote “we had to go way far away”. Then he told the story about how Jensen left his passport behind- I think this might be the first time we’ve heard Jared tell this story cause we’ve heard it from Jensen but I can’t recall Jared telling it by himself but basically for those that don't know the story goes that the day before D was to go to the hospital to have the twins, the boys were filming and Jared asked Jensen if he had his passport and according to Jared Jensen was all “I’m not the one who forgets things, of course I do” so Jared asked him as a favor that the next time they went to their trailers he just touch his passport, so they keep working and when they get a break they go to their trailers and when they meet back up...turns out Jared was right, Jensen did not have his passport.

They had been attending cons so he had left it in another bag thinking he was going to be taking that bag with him, which he didn’t, so they were stuck in Canada. Thankfully, they have friends who work in the Austin PD so they contacted them and they were able to help them deal with customs and immigration and everything, and Richard Speight who was directing the episode they were filming at the time was able to wrap up with them so it was hectic but they were able to get home in time which btw is exactly how he puts it “it was a pretty hectic moment but we got home in time.”

There’s just something about him telling this story completely unprompted, and the way he tells it, and the look on his face as he’s telling it, and that he says it was a happy ending, and the “we got home in time” like you can just tell this was an important moment for him. And not important in the way of it’s important to him because of his friend or that his friend be there on time, no, no, it was important to him that they both be there, it was important to him that they both be home. Like, hearing him tell it you can tell that wasn’t a hectic moment for Jensen only, it was for him as well; and him mentioning the twins being born along with his first born it just gives me all the feels. (Timestamp)

- Moving on, when talking about how his acting career got started, he got up to get a Teen Choice surfboard he had won a couple years ago and we got a very nice glimpse of padabooty. I was staring appropriately 🍑👀

- He was asked by a fan from Puerto Rico (Puerto Rico! 🇵🇷) which country Sam and Dean would like to visit on vacation, and he said Puerto Rico!!!!!!! 😭 He said if Sam and Dean could have found a demon or something on the island they would have been here in a snap- Jared baby we got ghosts, aliens, el chupacabra they could have found something 😂 Not gonna lie every time he said Puerto Rico I squealed a little 💓

- He shared that there were some ad libs in the finale, and unsurprisingly they were the best scenes; there was some ad libbing in the barn scene when Dean dies and the boys greeting to each other in Heaven was also ad libbed. Bless this boy for trying to give Dabb and Singer credit but the little additions, the meaningful ones that had thought put into it, that called back to the Pilot they were all the boys and really by the sound of it mostly Jared. Like, even Sam’s son telling Sam it was okay for him to die like Sam said to Dean in the barn was Jared’s idea.

Also this fucking softy, he started thinking about Dean’s death scene while answering this question and he got all emotional and misty eyed 😭

- Another Easter egg that the boys were the ones who added, was Sam keeping Dean’s watch, him and Jensen thought it would be something Sam would have kept and worn.

When talking about that Easter egg he said him and Jensen are big watch fans, I don’t know why I found that so cute.

- He was asked his feelings towards Sam’s ending, and he said he had about a year and a half to think about it cause he had obviously found out way before we did, and that at first it was a little jarring and abrupt but then he says how would you feel about anybody’s ending? and that if you were told how you’re gonna pass whether you’d ever be okay with it so for him no matter how Sam ended it would have been difficult for him to wrap his head around, but once he did digest and spend over a year with it he, personally, feels it was the best way to tell Sam’s story and that Sam tried to live his life the way Dean would have wanted him too; he said that he’s passionate about Sam’s ending being appropriate and Sam got the ending Dean fought for so for him he’s as happy as he can be with Sam’s ending. (Timestamp)

So....here’s the thing, I’m happy that he’s happy with how Sam’s story ended but- I don’t know, y’all know I have my issues with the finale and Sam’s ending is one of the big ones so it’s probably my own issues coloring my view of this but it sounds like while he’s happy with the ending Sam got maybe it’s not the ending he would have wanted and like much like Jensen he too had his struggles with the ending like it sounds like a mild version of what Jensen has mentioned: he struggled with the ending at first but then after a year of thinking about it he accepted it and finds that he’s as okay as he’s going to be with it and it’s an ending that’s still appropriate to the character so he's happy with it. But like I said, I have my own issues with the end and that’s probably coloring my view.

- He was asked about props that he kept and he shared that Jason, his stand in on the show made him and Jensen a very sweet gift. On the final day of filming he got two picture frames and made copies of the boys last call sheet, and framed them along with their tape marks.

- When talking about what it’s like to be both an actor and producer now for Walker he mentioned how he and Jensen sort of became, especially in the later years, creative producers on the set of spn even though they didn’t have the title. I will, forever remain, of the opinion that they should have been named or given producer credits for this show and that they deserved a proper seat at the table. Honestly, the writers of this show had no idea the treasures that they had with these men.

- He was asked script changes due to covid and he said the biggest change he knows of is that originally they were going to bring back a lot of the cast to be in a scene or two in Heaven. But he also says that maybe it ended up the way it should and that it was pretty magical storytelling that it all came full circle to being about the boys because it was always about Sam and Dean.

And I agree, it worked out for the best because I’m telling y’all I know it in my gut that if it hadn’t been for covid restrictions that ending would have been a carousel of characters and wouldn’t have been nearly as impactful or brother centered as it turned out to be.

He also once again mentioned getting everyone together for a reboot in a couple years, I'm telling y'all I wouldn't be surprised if there was a reboot in a couple years. But I hope they don’t bring back everyone if there is one...🙃

- Because he's not done attacking me he said that Sam's Heaven is mostly Dean 😭

Another thing that was Jared's idea was having Sam dressed as close as possible to how he was in the Pilot because to him Sam's happiest moment was getting back on the road with his brother 😭

- He said he and Jensen will definitely work together again! He hopes sooner rather than later, and said that Jensen has a standing invitation to do whatever he wants on Walker. He doesn't know if he'll be able to go up to Toronto since he's so busy with Walker but him and Jensen will find something somewhere.

This man has my number, if he's not coming at me with the brother feels he's coming at me with the j2 ones; this made me so happy to hear, I'm not surprised in the slightest but it still made me so happy to hear him say he and Jensen plan to work together again in the future and it's so cute how he said sooner rather than later like he worked with that man for 15yrs you'd think he'd be ready for a break but nope he already wants to work with him again and is looking at his schedule like 'umm what week can I sneak off to Toronto?' ❤

Now, if I may take a moment to be petty and say suck it! to those who thought the end of spn meant the end of j2's relationship.

- The panel ended with him giving some advice for anxiety. He shared that something that has worked for him is accepting it ain't going anywhere but you can learn to live with it.

And that was the panel! Like I said if by chance you haven't seen it I highly reccomend it, it was a great panel, he was all in his brother feels and he was mentioning Jensen left and right, and he looked adorable- honestly, like it just made me happy and gave me a needed cheer up.

Jared Solo Panel November 22nd 2020

#j2 tinhat #this man be giving me all the brother feels 🥺#by relationship i also mean frienship #mine #gonna have to fix these tags later #jared padalecki #spn #annianvi

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wigglebox · 4 years ago

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Cas is not going away forever; SPN Spec/theory

Really tho.

I want to talk about one of my favorite lines this season, especially given all the things we know now going into episodes 18, 19, and 20.

And I’m going to use it as the foundation to my theory that no, Cas won’t be gone forever after 15x18. This line, in my opinion, basically spells out past plots and the one we’re about to see.

The TLDR is that Dean will actively go and get Cas back, and Purgaytory foreshadowed this twice and it’s literally the only way for the good guys to win. Dean and Sam cannot win without Cas.

Keep in mind this is MOSTLY spec, I’m not a meta-mind person, I have ADHD, and organizing my thoughts sometimes is hard.

Also keep in mind the fact that I am operating under my own thought process and there’s a good chance I am wrong on most if not all of this. We all interpret story and plot lines differently and I am not Bobo or Dabb. Their story is their story and I’m not saying what I believe will happen will be better than what they decided would happen should they differ.

I will probably write a fic around this if none of this comes to pass, but I won’t call it a fix it fic because again, we all approach story different.

Also please read @heliodean‘s theory!

So, onto the… whatever this is going to be. It’s going to be long, so it’s under a cut.

Let’s begin!

The line that I can’t kick from my brain is from Cas in 15x09:

“You didn't give me a choice. You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on. You were too angry. I left, but you didn't stop me.”

So let’s explore.

First, I’m going to talk about certain times where Dean thought Cas was gone and never coming back. But, I’m going to NOT include the times in Purgaytory because that’s a separate point.

This is mostly to just kind of document, haphazardly, how we got to this point emotionally. I don’t know if I do it justice and I’m sure I’ve forgotten things because of my memory, but I tried my best.

Season 4 finale: Dean doesn’t know him that well and up until the end, Cas had his struggle of self and what’s right and what’s wrong. In 4/23, he tells Chuck (God) they’re ‘making it up’ as they go, prompting a surprised reaction from Dean. And then, we see Cas standing next to Chuck as they face arch angel wrath.

The next we hear in the season 5 premiere is that Cas popped.

But he’s back! POOF! Given the context of what we know now, we can probably assume that Chuck wanted to see where this was going story-wise? That’s how I see it in any case.

The point? Dean didn’t go looking for him. In this instance, you could take into account the fact that they didn’t know each other well at that time. Up until that ‘we’re making it up as we go’ line, there was that division of doing what is known to be right, and doing what was ordered even though it’s known to be wrong.

But, it’s okay because Cas’s back! Yay! Let the development of their relationship continue!

Season 5 finale: Cas gets popped. When it happened, there wasn’t enough time to process it before he came back. But, throughout season 5, his and Dean’s relationship grew as they were working more with each other once Cas made his choices in season 4. Choices, that were very much encouraged by Dean.

This is when I will pause and highlight the first part of the 15x09 quote:

“You gave me no choice.”

I am not using this line as a “Dean forced him into his choice”. I’m choosing to see it as “I trusted you; you represented a side of me that I couldn’t touch until you made it tangible”

Season 7 premiere: Cas, loaded up with horrifying creatures, sinks into a river. The monsters are released and the coat comes back to Dean. Throughout the season, we get two things: Dean unable to move on (drank more in that season and his attitude can demonstrate that) and Dean unable to really get past what Cas did, which is more shown near the end of the season: “Clean up your mess.”

And Dean never went looking for Cas, never tried to go find him and get him back. He only one day POOF! Happened upon Cas by “happenstance”.

So let’s look at the second and third parts of the 15x09 quote:

“You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on.”

This part follows Dean for a while in the following seasons.

We are going to skip over Purgaytory and touch on that in a minute.

Let’s skip all the way to the end of season 12 specifically.

Season 12 finale: We’re in full swing into their developing relationship, so that’s fun! Anger is clearly on display as well throughout the season as we get closer and closer to Jack.

Season 12 finale takes Cas out in the way we’re used to saying “that’s it, that character is really gone”.

Angel blade, wings on the ground and all.

At one point, Dean, who thinks Cas is going to get trapped in that AU world, tries to go back to him ala Sam and Jessica in 1x01. In 1x01, Dean stops Sam, and in 12x23, Sam stops Dean.

But it doesn’t matter because Cas is gone shortly after in their world.

**I know there is the “I love you, I love all of you” scene in season 12 but we’re ignoring that for now because Cas was fine in the end.

Which leads us into:

Season 13 premiere: The first five episodes of this season adds onto another part of the 15x09 quote:

“You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on. You were too angry.”

In this case, we’re going to change the “You couldn’t forgive me” and actually include Jack on that because poor Jack got a lot of the misdirected anger.

But the anger was palpable. Dean straight up screamed in Sam’s face.

Dean couldn’t move on, and he couldn’t forgive Jack and the fact that Cas. He literally said so while yelling at Sam:

He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

So right there in that wholllllleeee exchange you have:

Choice (Cas was ‘manipulated’ according to Dean)

Forgiveness (Dean couldn’t forgive Jack or the fact that Cas ‘bought it’),

Unwillingness to move on (‘Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!’).

And now we got something that was present since we’ve been introduced to Dean in season 1, but that had gotten more exponential as time went on thanks to changing emotions brought on by developing relationships, change of attitude, bigger problems, and more truths unearthed:

Anger.

Cas had gone, seemingly permanently, before, (again, sans Purgaytory, but I’m getting there I promise) but we did not see this level of anger from Dean.

In fact, the anger, depression, volatility got so bad, Dean was willing to just not come back in 13x05. Dean was yelling in Sam’s face, throwing the blame of it all onto the shoulders Jack who had been alive at that point forrrrr not a long time lol.

But we still have a problem: Dean still didn’t do anything to try and get Cas back. It was another POOF moment.

So at this point in my ADHD hyperfixation brain dump, we have four out of 5 things mentioned in that 15x09 quote: Choice, Forgiveness, Unwillingness to Move On, and Anger. (And I want to state for the record these are themes throughout the entire show with many relationships but Cas is the key to winning against Chuck and Cas said that quote so…)

LET’S TALK ABOUT PURGAYTORY! Both in season 8 and in episode 15x09.

I specifically left these out because these instances happen on a different plane of existence, and I view it as the Emotional Discovery Zone. I view it as ‘practice’. I view it as much needed goals in their developing relationship.

Their journey in season 8 was a preview to now and included all 5 things Cas would state in the future during 15x09.

Season 8 Purgaytory gave us:

Choice: Cas chose to keep Dean safe, and again this strange sense of blame. “You didn’t give me a choice… because I care about you and don’t want you in danger so I have to leave.”

Forgiveness: Clearly Dean has forgiven Cas in Purgaytory just by the fact he put so much effort into finding him and the happiness he had once he did. But you also have Cas seeking forgiveness. Purgaytory was his ‘penance’. It was how he asked for forgiveness not only from Dean but just from all the mistakes he had made that’s impacted everyone around him.

Unwillingness to Move On: Well that’s just easy. Dean basically stalked all throughout Purgaytory for what? A year? Trying to find Cas. Benny wanted him to move on so they could get out faster but Dean couldn’t move on.

Anger: The first time we see Dean in Purgaytory in season 8 he’s pissed as fuck and hunting down monsters and interrogating them. In this case, his anger was proving productive. His anger was justified in Purgaytory. It’s the only way to survive. They don’t like him, he doesn’t like them, and in Purgaytory you have to fight in order to survive.

It was pure for Dean because he could let his anger out without there being a downside. It was productive, it was leading him to his goal. It was properly directed anger and one that Purgaytory encouraged.

And now we’re getting something that hadn’t been present until now.

Let’s again look at the 15x09 quote:

“You didn't give me a choice. You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on. You were too angry. I left, but you didn't stop me.”

This portion be taken in a few ways but for me it’s: I left and you did nothing about it (stop me from leaving in the first place, or bother looking for me afterward).

But in another plane of existence where everything was pure and raw and again, where Dean used his anger and fear as a proper motive, Dean did actively try to find Cas.

The other points in that 15x09 quote led up to that choice by Dean to find Cas and get him back instead of leaving without him with Benny.

So let’s look at 15x09.

15x09 to me spells out what’s going to happen in the next 3 episodes.

Purgaytory is pure it’s raw and it’s the land of emotional discovery—we get the emotional healing that’s needed.

Cas had been extremely upfront in this season, which helps another problem they had which was communication (on both sides)

Going to paste the whole quote again:

“You didn't give me a choice. You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on. You were too angry. I left, but you didn't stop me.”

For most of the season since this aired (and we had even some extra months to muse on it) I had thought it would be something said, or something done before Cas left (was taken away).

But now, I am going back to the definition I wanted to apply to season 8 Purgaytory and that it’s: I left, and you did nothing about it. Not only did Dean not try to stop Cas from leaving, he didn’t bother trying to get him back either. Not because he didn’t care, but Dean is scared at the end of the day, and angry.

However, losing Cas now isn’t because of a monster or another dark force or something—It was Cas’s choice to leave, much like Purgaytory Part 1 (Season 8) but instead of trying to save Dean, it was actually Dean’s own actions that forced Cas to make the choice.

So now Dean had to experience his day to day knowing specifically he was the reason why Cas wasn’t there. It was very easy to go and get him back unlike trying to figure out where Cas went with little knowledge on what happened. Dean wasn’t seen on screen trying to get Cas back but it was clear at the end of 15x07 that he was about to say something when Cas walked away, again emphasizing that their problems were not because of any other outside party, but themselves.

But when 15x09 happened, after two episodes of dancing around the issue, Cas gave Dean instructions on how to save it all.

Dean has to stop Cas from leaving permanently either before he leaves or after he’s taken. He can’t just shrug it off. And he has to save Cas in order for him, an all of them, to win against Chuck (more on that in the tldr).

Remember in 13x06?

“Well, I said I needed a big win. We got Cas back. That's a pretty damn big win.”

But note—they got him back but they, specifically Dean, did not do anything to actually get him back. He just came back.

I had started thinking about that line in 15x09 obviously before 15x17 aired, and when it aired, I just kept smiling because it basically told me that Cas will not go away forever.

Dean’s going to follow his instructions given to him during some emotional discovery and vulnerability.

In my eyes, Dean can not win against Chuck (fake world, manipulated world) if Cas is gone. It’s been shown throughout the season that when Cas isn’t in episodes, it gets a little more wonky, manipulative, all that jazz.

And it was established in this exchange in 15x02 that Cas is the thing that makes Dean’s world real.

DEAN: Did we? I'll tell you what we do know. Nothing about our lives is real. Everything that we've lost, everything that we are is because of Chuck. So maybe you can stick your head back in the sand, maybe you can pretend that we actually had a choice. I can't.

CASTIEL: Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.

Ironically, a celestial being that owes its existence to Chuck is the one that actually demonstrates a reality the exact opposite of Chuck’s.

As for the “Did Cas mean ‘we are’ as in himself, Dean, Sam, and Jack, or ‘we are’ as just him and Dean.”

And I say it was just about him and Dean.

So, you may now be asking “Jen, what in the ADHD hyper fixation meta-spec rant are you getting at?”

TLDR:

It’s been established Cas represents real things in comparison to Chuck representing fake things. Specifically, in 15x02 it was established that he and Dean’s relationship, whatever you believe it to be, is real.

Dean has struggled heavily this season with what’s real and what’s not. The episodes without Cas really demonstrated how wobbly Dean’s world gets.

If Cas gets taken away permanently, then Dean loses and Chuck wins.

Dean has instructions on what to do, and that’s to go after Cas like he had learned to do twice in Purgaytory (with seven years of relationship-building between those times).

So, Dean has to rescue Cas for everyone, especially him, to win.

….I hope this made sense ;___;

#spn spec #1518 #1519 #1520 #spn meta #i stg my brain is barely focusing and awake #i have no idea if this makes sense #i wish i had adhd medication #i'm so bad at organizing my thoughts #and i'm always embaressed putting these things up because i know i missed something or wrote something wrong #but i'm going to share it anyway #spn spoilers

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found--family · 4 years ago

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not to rain on anyone's parade but I don't get why everybody is so happy to see Jensen working on The Boys, and therefor Kripke in regards to "getting away from Spn after it stabbed him in the back".. i thought Jensen called Kripke and that he talked him into "accepting the finale"? don't get me wrong I am super excited for Jensen to get more recognition and stuff but I can't help but think that^ maybe i'm missing/confusing something here?

i mean.. okay, I'm NO expert on the writers of SPN - i refer to my mutuals for the highs and lows and meta of it all, and i also haven't watched The Boys yet..

but Kripke created Supernatural. he's responsible for bringing Dean and Sam and the whole story to life, and for giving us the seasons 1-5 arc. when people fawn over *early spn* that's the era they're talking about: the writing, the character journeys, the cinematography, the visual meta, the vibe.

the thing about the different writers of SPN is - when you read the meta and look through the relative episodes - you can see who prefers focusing on what themes and characters, who is better at narrative cohesion and continuity, etc. BUT there's also TPTB (The Powers That Be) to consider, ie. The CW network folks who have the ability to make creative decisions/tweak what they don't think is on-brand for them, ie. the (conservative) audience they're trying to appease.

-- you should check out meta from @drsilverfish @mittensmorgul @postmodernmulticoloredcloak and so many others in the fandom (search "spn+meta" in tumblr and see what's what) for insight into the network/spn writer’s room because they know their stuff.

my point is: getting away from The CW and their narrative meddling is a HUGE step up for Jensen. as has been said, The CW (not Dabb, although there is debate on that too) sacrificed the ending of Supernatural on the alter of Walker, so it's understandable and also a positive thing that he's breaking free of a network that screwed over his 15 year-long commitment to them and the stellar journey of one Dean Winchester.

but YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT about Kripke trying to convince Jensen the SPN ending was good for Dean: we've seen the clips from cons + interviews of Jensen telling that story and IT HURTS. Kripke hadn't been directly involved in the show for years at that point, so was he just out-of-touch with the narrative and the fandom? or did he just want to try and get behind the ending of his baby, hype the show that did so much for his career, even if he didn't like it? or did he feel obliged to agree with whatever was pitched to him?

(IMDB has him listed as 'executive consultant' through season 15 including the finale. I'm not sure how accurate that is or what it means exactly, but it's by no means Creative Control.)

it's obvious Jensen hated the SPN finale, but i don't think he'd squander his freedom in leaving The CW to go work with someone he doesn't trust to do justice to his new role and the narrative as a whole.

i hope some of this fandom's meta writers will enlighten us on these fronts though: Kripke's showrunning of The Boys, Amazon Prime as the distributer and what that means behind the scenes, as well as content freedoms and restrictions and what we can expect from Jensen's Soldier Boy performance!

(btw: if anyone knows any meta writers in The Boys fandom please let us know)

whatever the case may be with Kripke saying what he did to Jensen about the finale, we'll just have to wait and see what else comes to light about it, and what he does with Soldier Boy, and how Jensen responds to this new experience on social media, etc.

reports say we might not see season 3 of The Boys until 2022 (COVID being a factor) so we all have plenty of time to catch up on the first two seasons (and the comics too!) and delve into the meta surrounding it all.

i for one am extremely excited to see Jensen 1) in a dark superhero role 2) in whatever form-fitting costume they give him (i hear the fuckmepumps are involved!) 3) cussing his beautiful little heart out.

-- once i binge both seasons I'll probably post a bunch of wishlist items for season 3 and thoughts about the show, but for now I'm just excited and super happy for him being involved in such an awesome project.

feel free to add your thoughts.

#q and a #thoughts #kripke #jensen #The Boys #CW

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missjackil · 4 years ago

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My 15x20 Opinion (The SPN Finale)

Carry On

It’s taken me a few days to write this, because I’m an emotional wreck. I still cant wrap my head around the fact that the show is over, and in such a permentant way. I’m not exagerating when I say, it feels like someone I love in real life died. In 2001 I lost my best friend since I was 7 (I was 34 at the time) and in 2011 I lost the love of my life, in 2018 I lost my Dad. This feels the same, and as with the others, it has its own unique pain. Personal just to me and how does my ife change because of it. So please forgive me in advance for periods of silence I may have, as well as days where I don’t shut up. This grief is real.

Anyway, about the episode, the first half was wonerful! Domestic Winchesters is one of my favorite things! Dean snuggling Miracle could not get any cuter, and half naked, fresh from the shower Sam couldnt get any hotter! Teeth brushing, bed making, laundry doing *sigh* what more can a fan girl ask for? Oh yeah!! Sam smushing pie in Dean’s face!! God I love these two!

My anxiety built as the boys went on their hunt. I new this would be where shit hit the fan, but I wasn’t prepared for the level of shock I experienced. When the Vamp got Sam down and Dean wasn’t watching, I was sure this would be where Sam gets mortally wounded and we get the epic, emotional death scene, which would surely be followed by Dean going into a rage, losing his shit on the rest of the vamps and getting himself killed in the process, but that’s not how it went. When Dean backed into the rebar I just screamed “NOOOOOOO!! NO NO NO NO!!!” I wasn’t ready for Sam to be the survivor and I was NOT ready for how deeply painful Dean’s death scene would be. Im nowhere near over it yet. I started sobbing, and didn’t stop for the next 2 hours.

Sam’s grief was devistating, I felt all of it. J2 acted their asses off and from what they’d said, they had broken character at times and what we got was real. When Sam got a phone call for a case and he took the dog with him, looked around the bunker and shut all the lights off, I knew he wasnt coming back.

Switch over to Dean in Heaven with Bobby, explaining that Jack fixed it so Heaven is open now, no private worlds, everyone could move around freely. This stung a little bit, thinking it kind of negated Sam and Dean’s Heaven, but it does’t really. The fact that it had been acknowledged that Heaven had been separate worlds, shows me they didn’t forget, and this is why now everyone can be together.

Dean said it was :”almost perfect” and Bobby knew why and said “He’ll be along” knowing Dean wont truly be happy without Sam. Then Dean took a drive in Baby, he didn’t go see mom and dad, he didnt go find Cas, he went to a bridge to wait patiently for Sam.

Now we flash back over to Sam. When I saw him with a kid, my heart sunk. They’re gonna ruin what was absolutey beautiful so far by Sam living a happy life with Eileen and their kid!! But, that’s not really how it was, was it? There was no emphisis at all on Eileen or even if it was her he ended up with, or even how much a part of Sam and Dean Jr’s life she was. It was always just Sam and Dean Jr. When elder Sam went in the garage and uncovered Baby and just sat in her and cried, I knew he may be happy with his boy but his life is empty without his brother. 15, 20 years later, Sam still grieves. Finally, Sam is an old man, bed ridden and on machines, still wearing Dean’s watch, and he sheds one last tear as Dean Jr lets him go.

Ok to me, Sam didn’t get “A long happy normal life” after Dean died. Sam existed because he promised Dean he would, but he was miserable without him. What’s that line from Red Meat we all love? “After everything we survived together, I watched the man I love die. There’s no normal after that” So, this to me was no slap in the Winchester face, this is poor Sam suffering from 6 mos old till the moment he died as a sick old man.

Flash back over to Dean. still waiting on that bridge and without even turning around, a smile spreads accross his face ... he’s finally here! “Hiya Sam” and there he is, just the way Dean remembered him, not a sick old man. Sam smiles and just says “Dean” and we have the best and happiest brohug ever!! The break and walk to the rail to look out over Heaven. Dean’s arm atill around Sam, he looks at him with such adoration. and his expression couldn’t be mistaken for anything else besides “Now, it’s perfect” and my boys are together safe and at peace for eternity.....The End.

This finale wasn;t what I wanted per se, though I ultimately wanted the boys together in the end and I got that, so I am abundantly grateful, knowing how many BAD ways this could have gone. Ultimately I would have liked an end like the end of 15x19, where theyre alive to fight another day and drive into the sunset, or to retire and have their toes in the sand somewhere. Or even drive off a cliff together, hand in hand, but I wouldnt have gotten than raw excruciating display of pure unbreakable love. “I love you so much... my little brother” is the best thing Ive ever heard. Their heads pressed together was the most touching thing Ive ever seen. So Im grateful.

After gnawing on it, thinking, and allowing some time to pass, Im gonna say I loved the ending. It wasn’t perfect but Im satisfied. It took a long time to get to “Now it’s perfect” which I will take with me as the last words of the show (even though they technically were never spoken) but it was worth the journey.

So on a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, Ill give Carry on a 10. Thank you Dabb for drowning me in bro love, and thank you J2 for kicking it in the ass and pouring your heart and souls into it.

Rest in Peace boys. I love you both so very much.💔😭💕

#SPN Finale spoilers #15x20 #my opinion #i miss you so much #come back soon please #im not okay

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bre95611 · 4 years ago

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HI! I’m finally rewatching 15x17 so I’m doing an in-depth(ish?) super stoned commentary! Hooray!

Before I get into it, I just really have to say, god I love this season so so so much. The writing has just been beautiful, and it has me EMOTIONAL af. Anyway. Here we go!

I always like looking at the Then/Now scenes. I feel they can ring some really important storywide context to the show. A great example of this is the Pizza Man montage. This episode it starts with the conversation from a few episodes back with Dean and Sam discussing Jack killing God.

I’ve found the Dean/Amara relationship very interesting. After how it was played up in the 15x15 Gimme Shelter, always from Dean’s perspective in a joking manner. I believe it was @verobatto-angelxhunter that discussed the Big Married Energy it gave off, Dean teasing Castiel about a woman from his past. Season 11, as the beginning of the Dabb era, has been calling my name for a rewatch lately, especially with Amara being brought back. Its always been established that the connection Dean and Amara have was not something Dean liked. It wasn’t actual attraction. I’ll talk more about this later.

I have made some random posts here and there talking about the symmetry in endings between Season 11 and Season 15, I will also dig into this more later.

Saw a post about the amount of times “world” is said, want to keep track of that. I know there is a heavy Destiel attachment, and the second time it is said is during the Then sequence, Chuck’s dialogue from the episode with the tvs, talking about how its time to clear the board. (Want to look into Chess mentions this season, maybe even Dabb era as a whole? Because obviously there’s been a game going on at the cosmic level for quite some time). It doesn’t show the scene where Dean and Cas in the kitchen comes up on the tv where Chuck calls them “the world”. but it does have that section of dialogue as t screens are being shown, bringing that to mind.

Then we have Meg 2.0 as The Shadow, Cas is confused why he is being harmed since they’re on the same side. The Shadow makes their loyalty known. Keep this in mind. Will touch on this later as well.

Shit this is a lot for the episode not even starting yet. Below the cut for more!

God Amara is a QUEEN and I love her SO MUCH.

Sam tells Cas to “just get home” cause the Bunker is his FUCKING HOME

One thing I’ve seen brought up a lot is how Dean is always very action focused. Solve the problem at hand, “cross that bridge when we get to it” type of mentality. His plans always revolve around that. Cas and Sam are always very focused on there being another way, how there is always another way, especially when one oftheir lives are at stake. Sam calls him out. Sam wouldn’t care if Dean was saying that all the time if it were actually true, wouldn’t wonder if he ever got tired of saying it if they did only ever have one choice. TFW always subverts the problem at hand. Last season, their only shot of beating Michael was the Malak Box. Season 11 was soul bomb Dean, 13 was Dean saying yes to Michael. Ya’ll see a theme yet? Dean loves to sacrifice himself. Sam’s done the same exact thing, closing the Hell gates, letting out Lucifer. Cas’s whole thing in Season 6? They’ve all done the same things. over and over. Hamster wheel. Think of what made all those endings obsolete? What made them find another way, huh?

Fuck that paragraph went somewhere I wasn’t originally taking it, but still a good take IMHO.

I’m loving the SUITS!

I really hope that Amara is not gone. I know I’ve seen some stuff that talks about why that has to have been her last episode, but whatever. Imma still dream. And I really might have to just write a fix-it fic after the finale about Aunt Amara and Jack hanging out.

I just noticed world again (Dean to Amara: saving the whole world’s ass)

“You and I will always help each other.” That look on Dean’s face when she said that. Not the face of someone enjoying being flirted with by and “ex-flame” or whatever the hell

Saw a post about the generational family story that was being told (I believe it was @occamshipper) that basically has Sam is to Jack as Dean was to Sam growing up (Dean is John and Cas is Mary, super awesome read, will try to find and link in a bit). This whole family arc is about breaking the toxic circle, being a better parent than your parents, found family kinda things. So how has Dean reacted to Sam in these situations? Most recently, I think, is season 8, with the Trials. Sam was sacrificing himself, he knew that, he was okay with it. Sam was suicidal by the end of it, and Dean does what he normally does with Sam and keeps him from finishing the trials, and season 9 starts with Dean completely taking away his autonomy again, allowing Gadreel to possess him. Dean was angry, he was disappointed, he acted like Dean, and that is the kind of treatment he gets from his “big brother” father figure. But Sam breaks through his treatment, tells Jack he is brave and validates him, and doesn’t try and take away his FREE WILL.

Sam continues the path he started on when he told Dean to stop as he continuously made excuses/explained why he had kept things from Sam about Jack. He grows!! I love to see it!! He does NOT give up his FREE WILL. Guys I’m loving it. These boys are actively making HARD decisions and we are seeing growth in real time. TFW in every form has...not really lived up to its name? Sure, the world gets free will, but the boys never do. And not just in situations like they’re told they can’t do something. I’m talking constant violations of each other’s bodily autonomy. Dean all the time with Sam, Cas when he takes down the Hell wall from Sam’s mind, honestly....mostly its Sam having it violated. But the other guys have to stop fucking with it. They all need a variation. Dean needs the Free Will to stop being his father’s soldier, to live his true non performative life. Cas needs to be free of his self doubt. Permission to be happy, not happy in and of itself. Jack needs Free Will to be a fucking toddler.....

Sam SEES it dude, he knows something isn’t right, and he’s the one that figured it out like, every other time this season, too. Jesus. Dean is so desparately caught up in wanting to get the hell OUT of the hamster wheel, he’s too blind to see how deep into it he is. The first plan ANYONE gives him, he goes with it. He’s literally followed Billie’s plan because of one of her books before, and what happened? Cas and Sam brought him back from sacrificing himself.

I’ve really enjoyed how much Sam and Dean are fighting, honestly. Like, my spec for a while now has been that the brothers are going their seperate ways at the end of all this, the only way to satisfyingly bring an impactful end to their toxic codependency that they’ve been chipping away at for the last few seasons.

Guys I’m suuuuuuuper baked,

Dean says “Someone’s gotta be the grownup here” talking to Sam about taking Jack to do the final ritual. Dean is fully his father, talking to the “older brother” Sam protecting the “special child” Jack. Dean is not breaking the cycle established by his father, going mad with rage over his circumstances

Jesus Christ the LOOK ON SAM’S FACE when Dean says Jack’s not family. I’m dead. He looks so broken.

That line though is.....hm. All through season 14 and 15, its been established that Jack is family, their kid. When Lily Sunder comes back to help get his soul, Dean makes comments about not making them go through what she did with her daughter, and again to Belphegor in 15 when asked who he was (after a fight between Dean and Cas no less, calls him “our kid”). So this is how far Dean has spiralled? This is how he is choosing to try and deal with knowing Jack will die? Denial of his importance?

“He’s not like you. He’s not like Cas.” Dean feels he holds a different relationship with Cas than he does with Sam. Just...sayin....

Jared’s acting is......truly just phnomenal.

Man, i feel like the music is off? and it makes me think its intentional, cause Becky says something about how there’s no classic rock? So foreshadowing? nah.

This really does feel like....the last real Sam and Cas interaction. It is heart breaking really.

Alright, I’m posting this now......cause I literally just got to the first commercial break.... So

This is pt 1 I guess.

#spn 15x17 spoilers #spn 15 spoilers #spn spec #spn meta #my meta #my spec

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drsilverfish · 5 years ago

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Where the Girls Go Wild and the Boys Play Hard - The Subtext in Swayze’s Bar - 15x07 Last Call

Well, I guess now we know why Swayze always gets a pass... (a shared crush with an old flame).

And I guess we also know that the silent word in the episode title Last Call is booty... as in Last (Booty) Call - or, the tragic end to an old fling.

Ok, so I’m late to the party (I’m sure there is a party, right?) as I’ve just watched the episode and I’ve been avoiding spoilers!

No doubt the queer subtext in this episode, regarding the nature of Dean and Lee’s previous relationship, has already been the subject of much discussion, many meta and gifs. So, apologies for any repetitions, but I’m gonna give it my best shot.

Firstly I was struck by the name of this old hunting “brother” of Dean’s - Lee. I know Lee Webb was a country singer. But, in the larger mythos of Supernatural, which Kripke based on Kerouac’s On the Road (Sam = Sal Paradise and Dean = Dean Moriarty) Lee would fit as a reference to Old Bull Lee, another character in On the Road, based on Kerouac’s friend, the writer William Burroughs (who was of course, gay).

There are many elements we’re used to - Sam/ Eileen (now overtly on the edge of something romantic) paired in the narrative whilst Dean/ Lee are paired; sharing drinks as substitutes for erotic intimacy (here, dick-touching):

which SPN has used before, notably back when Dean got infected by Nick the Siren by sharing his hipflask with him in Baby in 4x14 Sex and Violence (a subtextual kiss).

Then there’s the reference Dean and Lee make to a good ol’ time of theirs back when they shared an encounter with triplets (of unspecified gender) whilst hanging out with Lorna, in a situation at Swayze’s which could, potentially, turn into a present-day threesome, given Lorna’s earlier overt sexual interest in Dean, and the subtextual tension between Dean and Lee.

This reference to triplets (of unspecified gender) of course, reminds us of those other triplets (also of unspecified gender) to whom Crowley and Deanmon did “extraordinary things” together back in 10x01 Black during their “summer of love”.

But it was the intimacy of Lee’s line to Dean from the stage: “You can’t just sit around lip-synching to Eye of the Tiger when no-one’s watching,” that punched me in the gut. Dean had allowed himself to really be seen by this guy, i.e. shared his secret dream to be a rock star with him, which we’ve previously seen him reveal to another old love, Robin, in 9x07 Bad Boys.

So yeah it turns out, as Rowena said, “What’s bi is bi,” - and sometimes bisexual lighting is bisexual lighting:

“Making their way, the only way they know how... that’s just a little bit more than the law will allow...”

The Duke’s of Hazzard theme song, sure, but also, in this context, of course, an anthem, for Dean and Lee, to “outlaw” (queer, closeted) sexuality.

Then there’s Lee’s bar, Swayze’s, itself, which sheds new light on Rocky’s Bar, the “happiness-trap” dream mind-bar which AU!Michael created in Dean’s head in 14x10 Nihilism in order to subdue him:

Looks like Dean and Lee shared a dream about owning a bar together, way back when Sammy was off at college and Dean and Lee were “hunting buddies”.

And look, Cosmic Cowboy makes an appearance inboth Swayze’s and Rocky’s:

Yeah, I know it’s a real Family Business Beer Co beer, but that don’t mean it can’t play a role in the subtext additionally, where it connects these two old lovers’ dream bars:

I’ve written previously about the queer-coding of bars in SPN over the years:

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/50661253249/the-bar-scene-in-8x23-spoilers-detailed

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/115759833784/dean-winchester-bars-and-m-m-encounters

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182142619479/rockys-bar-a-closer-look-in-deans-mind-14x10

And there’s plenty of queer-coding in Swayze’s. Just look at those two guns crossed on the wall between Dean and Lee:

Sure, they’re about to fight, so that’s one layer, but as with the touching beer bottles above, this is also dick-on-dick symbolism 101.

And would you look at that freaking TV screen with the man on the end of a pier at sunset? Yup that also appeared in Rocky’s:

As I’ve often discussed before, pier symbolism has come, in SPN’s visual subtext, to stand for the intimate connection between Dean and Cas, from that pivotal scene in 4x20 The Rapture in which Cas entered Dean’s fishing dream, rebelling against Heaven to do so, and tried to warn him about Heaven’s plans.

Notice The Rapture is also referenced in 15x07 because the case Dean is investigating was reported in the news as a girl being “raptured” (taken up to Heaven). And that pier scene from The Rapture was referenced last week too, as Cas mused about Dean’s love for fishing’s “meditative qualities” during his Jenny Lake case in 15x06 Golden Time. The profound bond may presently be under strain, but oh boy, is the subtext singing from its hymn sheet.

Cas’ absence (and Dean’s longing for him) is layered into the subtext of both Rocky’s and Swayze’s bars. In 15x07 Dean has left the bunker because (we may infer) he’s finding Sam’s burgeoning happiness with Eileen hard to deal with, given his own break-up with Cas, and yet, the poor sod goes and runs, tragically, into another lost love.

And then this dialogue hits us, and Dean, with break-up feels:

Dean: “Best friends don’t just up and leave without saying goodbye...”

Lee: “Unless they deserve it...”

You have to wonder if the similarities between Rocky’s (which was a fiction, an illusion) and Swayze’s, contains an ominous hint of Chuck’s handiwork. Perhaps he set up this painful scenario (by association, also a fiction) for Dean, to cruelly toy with his emotions.

The reference to 4x06 Yellow Fever really made my subtext-dar go off, in terms of the multiple layers Jeremy Adams managed to deftly work into Last Call. Dean laughingly tells Lee about catching “ghost sickness” that one time (and of course, Lee’s Eye of the Tiger reference also recalls Yellow Fever for us).

Yellow Fever, Dabb’s first episode for the show, is, in subtext, a study in queer-panic, which the “ghost sickness” (which infects Dean, not Sam) stands in for. See my queer reading of that episode, here:

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182874642184/old-timey-spn-a-fresh-queer-look-at-4x06

“Ghost-sickness”, aka queer closeted anxiety, becomes deeply poignant here, hanging between Dean and Lee, like the ghost of their old intimacy, which they never vocalise, but which may (if we choose) be read in the way they touch each other.

Overall, this was a beautifully written episode by Jeremy Adams, and the final, tragic (sublimated) penetration of Lee by Dean with the pool cue - a real death echoing, in subtext, with all the “little deaths” (yes, sex) they’ve shared before, was acted to perfection.

Lee’s noises and grunts are the noises of a fight, yes, but close your eyes and listen to that scene. “Wait, wait,” Lee says breathlessly, and Dean pauses, before Lee tells him it’s ok to pull out. And Dean can’t freaking look Lee in the eye because this terrible new intimacy is layered ontop of older intimacies:

So is Dean’s bisexuality still subtext, after this episode?

Yes, given that out there in the fly-by-night froth of mainstream entertainment journalism, it remains (as far as I can see, in my admittedly brief trawl) unremarked upon in 15x07 episode reviews and recaps:

https://tvmoviefix.com/supernatural-season-15-episode-7-last-call-review-recap-spoilers/

https://ew.com/recap/supernatural-season-15-episode-7/

But, Dean does slay the monster in the closet that gives you fake happiness if you feed it the blood of innocents. And in that, we might read a metaphor - for Dean slaying his own closetedness (as much, anyway, as the CW will permit):

My usual disclaimer applies: reading SPN’s queer subtext does not imply or promise textual confirmation is on the way.

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nellie-elizabeth · 4 years ago

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Supernatural: Carry On (15x20)

Oh my god. Lol. So... did Andrew Dabb forget to read back through his finale script one final time before deciding it was finished? Because like... Dean says "if we don't keep living, all that sacrifice (Cas and Jack) will be for nothing." Cut to a comically short time later, where Dean dies and is just like "time to go, let's not keep fighting, I'm tired lol."

Like WHAT did I just witness. I'm so grateful, in this moment, to a little show called The Magicians, because in April of 2019 they ended their fourth season with such an egregiously terrible decision that I literally couldn't sleep for a week, I was shaking and intermittently sobbing, I had never felt so betrayed and devastated over any piece of media before. After that, I've sort of become numb to bad endings, and this is no exception. This episode was absolutely terrible and I'm just sort of like... meh. I'll ignore it. Whatever.

I do want to forego the usual "pro" and "con" sections in this review, and do a more traditional full-on ramble about my thoughts, because they're kind of convoluted, if I'm gonna be honest.

The first thing I want to say, is that this wasn't the worst finale I've ever seen. Objectively, it was a terrible episode of TV and an insulting wrap-up to a fifteen-year-show. But I have a very specific category for the worst finales ever, and those are the ones that provide endgame states for the characters that are... unfixable in a post-canon but still-canon-compliant world. So, for example, the How I Met Your Mother finale killed off the titular mother and betrayed years of buildup, and that's a real-world sitcom. There's no resurrecting people from that shit. Or like. Game of Thrones being an obvious recent example. The Rise of Skywalker is a good movie example.

This? It's a little different. The endgame state of Sam and Dean and Cas is that they all die and spend eternity in Heaven, where they get to be with all their loved ones. I mean, sure, we don't get to see that, we only get a throwaway line to imply that Cas made it out of Super Turbo Hell The Empty, but that's the endgame state of the characters. And that's more or less what I would have wanted, as like a... years after canon situation. Right? So yeah, this was a bad episode, but if I edit in the shit I wanted to see, none of it contradicts the canon in a way that's not workable. It's a sad world we've come to where this is all I can really grasp at, but there is a perverse sort of comfort in that.

So, should we talk now about how Dean dying is a betrayal of what they said this whole season, and maybe whole show was about? Ha. It's so ridiculous. It's embarrassing. I watched Dean's final moments and I was embarrassed for Jensen. For Dean. For all of us watching.

Just. Watch the end of 15x19 again, okay? Watch it, and hear what they're saying. Yay, we killed God, we killed the author of the story, which means we get to write our own stories, finally. We get to do that. After all this time, we're finally free. And what does freedom look like? It looks like Dean dying on a run of the mill hunt.

We get this little montage of Sam and Dean at the Bunker, you know? They're doing laundry and going on jogs and cuddling with Miracle the dog, and they're brushing their teeth and going on hunts, I guess. And the emotional resonance from that scene was just kind of... ennui? And boredom? And that's what's so terrible and depressing about this ending. It's so empty, because Dean didn't get to do the thing he said he was fighting for. Sure, he was always fighting for Sam, but he should have been able to fight for himself, too, right? He should have been able to fight for a life after the years of programming. He should have gotten to be a rock star or a chef or worked at an animal shelter or become a foster parent or grown old as Sam's brother, as an uncle to his kid. He should have been able to find love, if he wanted that.

Look, I'm not even mad that Dean died in a "mundane" way. It's not like "nooo Dean is too coooool to die in such a laaaame way, he's a bad-ass and he should have gone out in a blaze of glory!" That's actually not what I'm mad about at all. Sam died old in his bed, and Dean should have been able to do that too. This whole season, since finding out that Chuck was the ultimate big bad, was supposed to be about free will, and Dean never got to figure out a way to be happy and find peace. That's fucking dour and stupid.

I kept saying, in the buildup to this finale, that a depressing, grim-dark ending to this show would be a failing of the themes they set up, and, hey, they didn't go grim-dark, because the writers did not think this was grim-dark. They thought it was powerful and emotional and resonant. You can tell they thought that, even though they're... uh... what's the word. Wrong? Yeah. Wrong. You know what I realized while watching this? It was just a lamer, less resonant and appropriate version of Sam's sacrifice at the end of season five.

Right? Because after Sam yeets himself into hell to save the world, Dean just has to keep going, and as Cas says, "you got what you wanted, more of the same." Just... more of the same. And Dean couldn't hack it, he was miserable without Sam, and Sam came back and we got ten more years of the fucking show. And now... what, we just get that in the other direction? Because Sam is the strong one and can soldier on without Dean because his codependency was a little less crippling? Wow, what a great ending for him, I guess. It doesn't work because we've seen Sam without Dean, and he falls apart too.

And now the show ends with Sam alone. Sure, he gets married to a blur in the background and has a kid, but let me ask you a question, here. Did Sam... want to be a father? I didn't know that was a thing he wanted, that would make him happy, honestly. I had no idea. So this doesn't seem like it works as something even remotely satisfying as an endgame state for him either. It's bleak.

And it's bleaker because there's nobody else in this fucking episode, y'all. The other big theme in all of Supernatural, after "free will" would be "family don't end in blood." And guess what? Apparently it does? Apparently Sam and Dean are each other's whole worlds and nothing else matters? We get... an implied wider world but we don't get to see it. We don't get to see Eileen, Jody, Donna, anybody left alive for Sam. So from the standpoint of characters that we know and give a shit about, Sam loses Cas, Jack, and Dean and lives the rest of his life lonely and sad. Nobody else even comes to Dean's funeral. It's just Sam alone with the dog. Like... that's bleak.

This ending gave the fucking Wincest shippers everything their hearts could desire, for fuck's sake. Like. Why did they cater to that and not follow through on the idea that they had created a family and community beyond each other? You know, this thing called character growth?

To take a brief break from the negativity, I will say something here about Sam and Dean. In the weird hysterical euphoria of the whole Destiel thing a couple weeks ago, I lost sight of something, which is that for me, the draw of this show has always been the relationship between Sam and Dean. I was never a brothers-only person, but it was their fucked up codependent bond that drew me to the show over the years. I loved the idea of Destiel, but I never thought it was going anywhere, so really I loved Castiel, the character, separate from the context of his relationships. Having a big dramatic death scene where Dean says "I love you so much" and there's a forehead touch and Dean saying "it's always been you and me" and confesses that he was scared to get Sam at Stanford because he didn't know how to survive if he didn't have him, and to have Sam say "don't leave me" and then give Dean permission to go... I mean, all of this is catnip, right? All of this is great, like, in isolation, it was such an amazing "broment," as the fandom says. I mean, it made no sense with context, it was utterly insulting in every way, but Jensen and Jared acted their lil' hearts out and I could tell they were really in the moment.

So let's talk about Cas for a second, while I have you here... they never should have done the big gay confession. They just shouldn't have even fucking bothered. I'm telling you, that makes this whole thing worse. It felt completely intentional and weird that Dean never acknowledged the confession, never told Sam, never had a moment where he specifically reckoned with Cas' loss. But that's what I knew would happen. I knew it in my blood and bones, and as the meta started pouring in, I knew people were getting their hopes up for nothing. See, Cas saying "goodbye Dean" and the handprint on the arm... I knew that was their catharsis, that was the writers' and Misha's big goodbye to the character of Castiel. They thought they fucking nailed it. I knew we wouldn't see him again.

Like I said before, I have to be satisfied with an endgame state that doesn't totally suck, right? So, we get this throwaway line from Bobby that Jack fixed Heaven and made it not suck, and that Cas helped. This implies a multitude of things that are... comforting. At least Cas doesn't get that dour, dark, helpless oblivion that I worried he'd get. We can assume Jack plucked him out of the Empty, that he gets to be with his son, and that, if the fic writers so choose, Dean and Cas can have lots of gay sex up in Heaven. I think Misha not being in this finale was frankly a slap in the face to one of the biggest and most important characters the show has ever seen, you know? And I think that they kept him out of it so we could have Schrodinger's Destiel. Because if we'd seen Cas in heaven, and he hadn't confessed his big gay love, Dean could have been like: "hey Cas! Buddy! Good to see you, my friend." But since we did have the love confession, whatever Dean did upon seeing Cas would have to mean something in that context. So instead we didn't get to see him at all.

Which is stupid.

Also stupid is that the big sacrifice was to save Dean's life and then a couple weeks later he gets impaled on a rusty nail and dies anyway. Thanks for making the whole thing feel so utterly pointless and empty. No pun intended. Wow, they did Misha dirty, here, didn't they.

Turning back to Sam's ending, let's just talk about that for a minute. Like I said, I'm happy he got to live a long life and die an old man, what Dean always wanted for him. But nothing about that ending was more poignant because Dean was gone. In fact, it just made it super duper depressing and lame. There was no reason Dean couldn't have gotten a happy life, too. It adds nothing that he died young and unfulfilled. Like, you know how people joke about the end of the Titanic, where you see that Rose's Heaven is reuniting with Jack and everyone else on the ship, and people will say "well, gosh, that's kind of a slap in the face to Rose's family" since she clearly got married and had kids and grandkids? This is literally that! Like, having an ending where a young-again Sam Winchester gets to Heaven, and his whole Heaven, the thing that he needed to find peace after death, was a return to his brother... look, I'm not mad about that, but what the fuck about nameless blurry wife that we couldn't even confirm to be Eileen for some reason? What about everyone else?

And did Sam... keep hunting? Did he go to law school? Maybe there were background details that confirmed what he ended up doing with the rest of his life besides becoming a husband and father, but I didn't see evidence of it because I was too busy rolling my eyes out of my skull at how dumb this all was. So Sam just gets a generic "raking leaves in the yard" ending, like we saw for Dean at the end of season five, with nothing to challenge that. Even though we've seen why life outside of hunting, life without Dean, isn't satisfying for Sam, we're now supposed to accept it as how he spends the rest of his life, without seeing him put the work in to get there?

One thing I realized watching this episode is that it tries to play the middle. Like, with the Cas thing, they didn't want to make his noble gay sacrifice totally meaningless, so they couldn't just pop him back into the story, but they did give us one single throwaway line to reassure fans that he's not still in The Empty. So, people who don't give a shit about Cas can assume he's off being Jack's assistant and doesn't really interact with humans in Heaven. People who do give a shit about one of the show's main characters can assume that he has a home in Dean's little Heaven neighborhood too, and they all get to buddy around for eternity. People who don't like Eileen? Well, Sam married some nobody who we never got to meet. People who liked her? Well, you can't prove that wasn't Eileen, can you? Even Dean driving around in the impala waiting for Sam to die so he could finally be happy with his fucking soulmate or whatever. Time in Heaven is weird, Bobby says. It's metaphorical. You could assume that the driving montage was actually intercut with other moments, with Dean getting to see dear old mom (and dad, I guess, but ugh), and spending time with Bobby, with OG Charlie, with other familiar faces, and new ones as they finally reach their own deaths on Earth and come up to party with the rest of the gang.

Like, in a better show, in a world without Covid, maybe they had plans along these lines, to get more guest characters back and show Dean getting sappy hellos to a bunch of side characters in Heaven. To be quite honest, I would not have been mad about that. If you're going to make Dean die young and never give him the chance to find out who he could have been when the choices were all his own, which is, in case I haven't made that clear, a horrendous and insulting ending for his character... at the very least you could have given us the cheesiness of seeing him hug his friends in Heaven. Jeezus.

I want to hammer in this point one more time before I wrap up: they ended the show by saying that character development didn't matter. They had Dean's dying speech be a meta reference to the pilot episode of the show, they had him saying "it's always been you and me" and then they confirmed that with everything they had. Sam became a father, but did he have a happy life? Seems like he pined away for his dead brother for decades and then died. If the pilot had never happened, if Sam had stayed at Stanford and Dean had gone on hunting by himself, you know what would have happened? Sam would have had a "normal" life and married a woman and had a kid, I guess, and grown old, and Dean would have died fighting some vampires in a barn. This show has been on for fifteen years, and the ending did not honor anything about the journey the characters had been on.

A particularly egregious example is the early scene with the pie festival, where Sam is like "I'm sad about Cas and Jack" and Dean is like "if we don't go on living it won't honor their sacrifice" like... yeah, I get it, bringing people back from the dead time and time again is supposed to be a bad thing that Sam and Dean did for each other because they were selfish. So Sam giving Dean permission to go was supposed to be a growth moment. Sam and Dean accepting that Cas was gone and not even asking Jack to make sure he got sent to a happy eternity instead of oblivion, that's supposed to mean they've learned their lesson. And what a fucking lesson to leave things off on. Jesus, this is grim.

So like. As I try to figure out what to say at the end of this review, I will point out one glimmer of light in the darkness, which is that this finale isn't going to ruin the rewatchability of the show for me. I can still come back and re-watch without feeling like the whole thing is ruined by the ending. It's more than I can say for some other shows.

But honestly, if this was the ending we were going to get? Why the fuck not leave it open-ended? I did not enjoy 15x19 particularly well, but at least that episode left them on the open road, with a wide future ahead of them. Anything might have happened. It's their turn to write the story, right? Chuck is dead, the writer is "dead", the show is over, and now the possibilities are endless. That would have been an anticlimactic ending, for sure. But this ending just turns around and slaps the whole point of that first ending in the face and says "haha bitch you thought". They don't get to write their own stories. We see exactly how those stories end, and it's lame. Leave something to the imagination, yo. Leave it vague how and when they died, what their lives turned into. Show them in Heaven, getting to their peace at last, reuniting with their friends, including Cas. Put in a significant glance between Dean and Cas, and leave it to the internet to go wild about what it could mean. And never answer when fans ask "so what happened, when did they die? Did they keep hunting?" Just leave it vague. If this was the only ending they could come up with, I'd rather be left with questions.

This finale gets a low score from me, because they couldn't even pull on the right heartstrings to make me sentimental...

4/10

But the show as a whole? Well, it was a mess, and it had some seriously high highs and some devastatingly low lows. It's a bummer that the lowest low came in how they tried to wrap up the whole shebang, but like I said, this ending isn't going to ruin the whole fifteen-year run for me. We get to make up what happens next, and we can make Jack's new and improved Heaven our post-canon fix-it haven. I don't think there's ever been a show in my life quite like Supernatural. The fandom is so bonkers. The meta narrative of the show is so convoluted and twisty and goes in so many unexpected directions. I liked watching this show for its own sake, and also as like... an anthropologist trying to discover something about humanity and American values specifically. It wasn't always a pleasant experience, but it was one I know I'll never forget. My heart tells me to give the show as a whole a high score, representing the many, many hours of joy and dread and delight and horror I got over the near decade I've personally been watching. How do you wrap up fifteen years in a score out of ten?

9/10

#review #supernatural #supernatural review #spn #spn 15x20 #spn finale #lol y'all #it's been a JOURNEY

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whateverthedragonswant · 4 years ago

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More proof in the pudding for 15x20 breaking the fourth wall theory

I kind of already discussed this theory on this post here but in going over the last two seasons of GoT to add to this dark!Dany meta I’ve got going, I noticed something that I think is worth taking a look at.

GoT 8x06:

We all remember what happens after this weighted ominous walk of Jon’s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XhfGY5pIPg&t=254s

“When I was a girl, my brother told me it was made from a thousand swords of Aegon’s fallen enemies. What do a thousand swords look like in the mind of a little girl who can’t count twenty? I imagined a mountain of swords too high to climb. So many fallen enemies, you could only see the soles of Aegon’s feet.” “This is our reason. It has been from the beginning since you were a little boy with a bastard’s name and I was a little girl who couldn’t count to twenty.” “You are my queen, now and always.” -- this is dialogue meant to call back to the Dany the audience has known since season 1 - this was done in an effort to keep her character sympathetic to the end but it’s problematic since she just torched an entire city that held a million innocent people, and it completely negates the true moral of her story - her brother is mentioned who we haven’t seen since season 1, who by all means is not a good influence or a hero in this story but in this last season, she has started to embrace the Targaryen side of things (that we’ve seen reflected in her wardrobe, I see you Michele Clapton, you brilliant woman, you) - the dialogue even invokes season 1 Jon in that one line, though obviously the focus is not on Jon but Dany herself - Jon who had just been acting as the audience mouthpiece in the jail scene with Tyrion (acting as the writers’ mouthpiece - again breaking the 4th wall), saying “You are my queen, now and always”, something the split audience (the ones who felt betrayed by Dany’s dark turn and still stan her to this day) keep saying - yes “now and always” was a common saying in the North, but this wording is purposeful as is this piece of dialogue for essentially what is Dany’s death scene, the most controversial death to come out of this episode, the end of this series I would even argue

15x20:

We all remember Dean’s monologue that took close to 10 mins to happen as he was “fading pretty quick”, so much so that Sam couldn’t call for help

youtube

“There’s a few things that I need you to hear. Come here. Let me look at you. There he is. I am so proud of you, Sam. Do you know that? I’ve always looked up to you. Remember when we were kids, you were so damn smart, you never took any of Dad’s crap. I never knew how you did that. And you’re stronger than me. You always have been. Hey, did I ever tell you that night that, uh, that I came for you when you were at school? You know when Dad hadn’t come back from his hunting trip? The woman in white, that’s right. I must’ve stood outside your dorm for hours because I didn’t know what you would say. I thought you’d tell me to get lost or get dead and I didn’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have you. ‘Cause I was so scared. I was scared. ‘Cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It’s always been you and me.” “I can’t do this alone.” “Yes, you can.” “Well, I don’t want to.” “I love you so much. My baby brother.” -- notice anything...familiar? -- this is dialogue meant to call back to season 1, to the original audience that started out with the brothers in season 1, that may not have stuck with the show for all 15 seasons but maybe ducked back in for the finale just to see how the show chose to end the boys’ stories - John is mentioned who is not a good influence nor a hero in the story which the show has gone out of their way to show time and time again, despite 14x13 - this is the result of one of their dad’s old unfinished hunts from season 1 including the “villain” - Dean mentions events of the first episode when John hasn’t come back from an old hunt, when he goes to get Sam from school, the woman in white being their very first MOTW of the show, even the dialogue from that first episode where the lines are reversed and Dean tells Sam he doesn’t want to do it alone - the dialogue is meant to invoke nostalgia of that pilot and that time, that version of the boys’ stories, where it was Winchester only - Dean’s death (outside of Cas’) is one of the most controversial deaths to happen this episode, even this series (though it has a lot of problematic deaths, i.e. Charlie but I mean in the main character arena) - this was done to keep season 1, specifically the pilot, in the viewers’ minds and as a callback to the beginning of the show, the dialogue was very purposeful, it’s also no coincidence that Sam is the focus here and once Dean is finished telling him goodbye essentially, he looks away behind the camera and talks about how he didn’t think today was going to be the day but it is (which adds to the pudding even more, because this is later season Dean talking who did not want to die on a hunt and wanted something different for himself, season 1 Dean always knew he would die young on a hunt)

And let us not forget this:

Andrew Dabb: “If you thought Game of Thrones was bad, just wait” (x) - this is said in a joking manner but where is it said? Comic Con 2019, the same Comic Con D&D canceled their appearances at & left the cast who did appear to deal with the fallout. This isn’t a man flipping off people and being like “Ha! Crybabies, we’re doing what we want to do and that’s that! Ha!” He said it in a joking manner when he talked about how only 30% of people would be pleased after seeing the finale and Jared joined the conversation. This is the same man who pushed hard along with Bobo Berens for a spinoff that featured women and women of color as well as having proper queer representation but got shut down by the network in the end. The same guy who worked to separate Dean and Sam from their toxic co-dependency and bolstered the found family theme in the narrative, while also taking the baton that Carver started with of Dean and Sam thinking of what they would actually want for their endings, and running with it, developing that even further.

What did GoT have? 2 final seasons as it were. To be fair, season 7 cannot be considered an alternate ending, it had way too many open endings but here (x) it’s stated that D&D did want to end GoT with season 7 initially before being convinced by the network to go to 8. They wanted to move onto other projects (that never happened because they’re egotistical greedy idiots, but I digress) and their rush to end the series showed. HBO wanted 10 seasons but they didn’t want to move forward without D&D. GRRM thought at least 13 seasons would be appropriate.

What did SPN have? 2 finales. 15x19 is not only the finale that closes up the mytharc but also the found family finale. I’m not sure if they knew this ahead of time or found out last second (Misha’s line of “Cas’ ending was supposed to be different but I don’t think we’re supposed to talk about that” still haunts me), but ultimately, that’s how it worked out. 15x19 was for the later season fans, the found family, the mythology fans (meaning Heaven, Hell, angels, nephilim, Lucifer, Jack, etc). That’s why we get the huge montage of characters at the end of the episode, the initials on the table, Dean demanding Cas be brought back in the beginning of the episode and Lucifer’s phone call, Dean and Sam wanting Jack to come back to the bunker but he can’t, Dean and Sam driving off in Baby together with “Running On Empty” playing. 15x20 was the series finale for early season fans, Kripke fans, Winchester-only fans. That’s why there’s no big montage in the beginning of the SERIES FINALE that they had done every season premiere, every season finale, and every mid-season premiere. They didn’t want the found family (yes, including Cas and Jack) in the viewers’ minds. But they couldn’t remove those two characters from the narrative completely (they were too integral later on in the series plus later season fans are watching this too) so they get mentions. This is why the Carry On My Wayward Son twice, Sam married to Blurry Wife and having Dean Jr., the Winchester-only mantle, the MOTW that calls back to one of their big bads (vampires) in season 1 (outside of YED & any demonic forces), why the brothers-only ending. This is why Dean is all ‘Cas who?’, why Eileen disappeared, and why Jack is off shooting a new spot for Architectural Digest. They only wanted Sam and Dean on your minds in 15x20 with the extension of John, Mary, Rufus, Bobby, and Baby with a touch of the Roadhouse in the background. This is also why no pictures of Blurry Wife on the Winchester-only mantle either. This is why Sam’s son was named Dean. This is why after putting on the Party City wig, Sam goes to sit in Baby and cries, thinking of Dean.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again: 15x20.👏 Was.👏 A.👏 Vehicle. It’s no coincidence that W*lker was more heavily promoted during 15x20 than any other time before. That what happens in 15x20 for Sam and Dean (and that Sam is once again the focus after having the story split between the brothers for years before) parallels somewhat to what happens in Jared’s new show and his character. This is the same network that uses its shows to backdoor pilots of spinoffs and other shows time and time again (think Green Arrow and The Canaries, Legacies, etc). It’s also no coincidence that W*lker is in the same time slot as SPN had been in, that they intersperse the use of #SPNFamily and #W*lkerFamily on Twitter, that the C*W SPN twitter account is used to steer followers to their other content, that the C*W YouTube account for SPN no longer has any clips or promos available for that show, almost as if it doesn’t exist. You know why? Simple, they don’t want SPN on your minds anymore. They want you watching W*lker and any other new content they are cooking up and throwing at you. Don’t be surprised if they start heavily promoting another new show (besides their returning ones) during W*lker episodes now. That’s just the name of the game, how it works. They already pushed the audience they wanted from 15x20 to W*lker and now SPN is an officially closed chapter for them. Dabb and the actors had other projects to move onto. In their minds, it’s done...until they try to reboot it in some way in a couple of years. And it will not only feature a younger generation of actors but will have what they consider to be appropriate queer representation as well as POC representation in the new cast. It may be the same Winchester story though changed or a whole new story in that universe. You laugh but watch. It’ll happen. This network is not known for its quality or originality, only for their brand. There’s a reason they keep on showrunners to head up new content if their original source of content works and they become “favorites” (i.e Julie Plec).

Ultimately, GoT was referenced many times on SPN, in dialogue between characters whether it applied or not. GoT was mentioned by the actors when discussing watching it, at cons and in interviews. SPN (and Dabb) was very well aware of GoT and what happened with that show. Not only because it was all over the media everywhere, being a pop culture phenomenon that had HUGE backlash, but also because they were there at the Comic Con where the backlash was felt strongest. To the point where even other people mentioned it in their panels (i.e. Seth Rogen). I’m obviously not in Dabb’s head nor was I on set when they filmed the finale or in the writers’ room with J2 and the writers when they pitched the ending so I don’t know. But isn’t it odd that 8x06 of GoT features a scene that has been confirmed by Kit Harington as breaking the 4th wall to speak to/get the viewers’ attention, make them think, and SPN is a show that has featured that same concept (usually in a comedic fashion) time and time again? And in 15x20 they have Robert Singer make an appearance? And the infamous bridge crew shot, J2 talking to you while still in costume as Sam and Dean from that same shot, and the voiceover “And cut” before it cuts to black?

I don’t think we’ll ever really get answers. I think any we get will always be complimentary to the network, or “we can’t talk about it”, or “it was always planned that way”. I’m not saying those people are being less than truthful (and seriously, I don’t blame any of them, it’s PR and they need to protect their careers, feed their families, if you speak out on anything in this universe, something really serious or the tiniest thing, you risk ever getting hired again, you will be blacklisted, it’s not right and it’s certainly not fair, but this is the way this particular business works) but something is not adding up (a lot of somethings actually). I think there was definitely a different ending for Cas, possibly even Jack (meaning he might have made at least one appearance). I do think there may have been a different resolution to Destiel and Saileen (unless they truly planned to keep it ambiguous all along). I don’t know if Dean would have had a different ending, I think he might have at one point as suggested by the narrative during Carver’s and Dabb’s eras, but I’m not sure what their “true ending” was going to be regarding him or Sam. To have Sam be the one that died would have been redundant from Swan Song (5x22) so I doubt they would have gone in that direction. I hate to think it but I don’t think we’ll ever really know. As far as death scenes go, Dean’s death in 9x23 was way more meaningful and impactful for me when he tells Sam that he’s proud of them, than what we got in 15x20. No offense to the guys’ acting or to the boys themselves, but the 9x23 scene was more appropriate imho. And that also leads me to believe that Dean’s manner of death may not have been what they planned all along. But until we get answers (which again I don’t think we will), we’ll never truly know for sure.

As for me, this is just more proof in the pudding. I’m not saying Dabb & Co purposely sabotaged 15x20 at all but I wouldn’t be surprised if they kept the reaction to GoT’s finale in mind at a couple of key points while getting these last two episodes shot. 15x19 was our finale, sad to say. 15x20 was the network’s finale, meant to induce nostalgia and callbacks, bringing the boys’ original fans over to Texas to watch a certain ranger do roundhouse kicks. Sad but true.

#The15YearShow #spn #spn posts #got mention #got and spn parallels #spn 15x20 #who's she #the rancid nutwork #daenerys' death #dean's death #season 1 callbacks parallels #for each

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hippychick006 · 5 years ago

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15.10: The Heroes Journey - Episode Review/Recap

Haven’t done one of these for a while, but I really wanted to watch this episode. I’ve seen mixed feedback on it and wanted to put down my own thoughts. As always, due to it being show critical, it’s under a cut. Everyone looking for positivity, zero criticism, rainbows and puppies can scroll on by.

I’ve seen Hellers moan about what the “bibros” issue with this episode is, given that the brothers are together so what have we to complain about? And if nothing sums up the Hellers more, it’s that mentality. Castiel doesn’t even have to be in the same episode and they are still happy because apparently, Castiel was a lamp in this episode. I mean, how dare I be so entitled to have higher standards than just having them finally be in the same episode and working on the same case. How dare I expect that the episode actually be… gasp…good.

I’ve also seen other people try to say (with no supporting evidence whatsoever by the way) that The Heroes Journey is the same as Bad Day at Black Rock (BDABR) or Yellow Fever. You are free to say this all you want and you’d still be wrong. It isn’t the same in any way, shape or form. It’s so much not the same and that is why you’re seeing criticism and not because people just don’t like Dabb. The Heroes Journey is a bad writer’s attempt at trying to write an episode like BDABR and they failed. They. Are. Not. The. Fucking. Same!

In BDABR, and Yellow Fever, both episodes had a very well explained reason within the episode for why Sam (in BDABR) and Dean (in Yellow Fever) were acting the way they were. This is why within the context of that episode, you could suspend disbelief that Dean was scared because the ghost sickness made him that way. You could accept Sam trip over the lamp because losing the rabbit’s foot made him unlucky. French Mistake, another meta episode, was funny because Sam and Dean were fish out of water. I still laugh at the scene where Dean stabs Sam with the fake knife or they have to act and they are terrible at it. It was very clever writing and everything that happened made sense within the clearly defined context of the episode. That clear definition is what made it funny and more importantly, the humour wasn’t done at either of the Winchester or audiences’ expense.

In The Heroes Journey, it wasn’t explained in the episode, it was guessed at by Dean and Garth, but they didn’t really get to the bottom of it, which left a lot of holes for me in trying to understand the “rules” of the game being played. I could give the benefit of the doubt it will get explained in an upcoming episode, but likely not as it’s Dabb and he’s a lazy fucker that doesn’t care if things like this get tied up. He just relies on people to try to make sense of things themselves which I’ve seen plenty of people rush to do. However, I don’t want meta or speculation to fill in the gaps to justify something that happens, particularly when the entire episode revolves around it. I want the writing to be decent in the first place so no one has to do that.

Overall, although not the worst episode ever, The Heroes Journey just doesn’t make sense to me. And I’ll try to break down where it works and where it fails.

From a positive perspective, I thought the settings, lighting, make-up, choice of camera angles, the filming techniques used, the editing, the casting of the key guest stars etc. were all good. I thought the episode was let down by some of the choices of the music, but in fairness I’ve felt the music choices in the later seasons of supernatural have been questionable and overpower the scene rather than compliment it, which is what music should do. Going scene by scene;

Cage Fight Scene

In addition to great setting, lighting etc. I liked the choice of camera angles and the mix of slo mo with live action. I liked the sound going between being laser focused on the fight and widening out to encompass the crowd. I thought it was used to very good effect. I thought both guest actors and the extras were great, and in contrast to the previous episode, they did the fake teeth very well and that may also have been down to the actor himself. I absolutely love piano music, but I didn’t get the use of it here, it did not work in the context of the scene (or that particular music did not work and maybe another piano piece would have). Overall though, I liked this scene and watched it a couple of times to do it justice. We’re currently at the 3 minute mark and I’ve been happily entertained without Sam or Dean in sight. I don’t need Sam and/or Dean to be in a scene to enjoy it as long as it’s well done and fits within the overall plot so great job show on this scene. 👍

It goes downhill from here.

Dean shopping/Sam cooking Scene

After sobbing at the loss of cutie werewolf guy, we move on to a scene that alternates between Dean shopping in town and Sam in the bunker cooking (I accept the head-canon that this is for Dean’s birthday dinner 😍 so Wincest for the win).

Sometimes Supernatural doesn’t do switching back and forth between scenes very well, giving the viewer whiplash. I think they did okay here.

I really liked the shot through the window of baby being ticketed, I genuinely laughed that Dean didn’t notice. The only thing wrong with this scene so far, is that Chuck damn awful music. Bad choice and is starting to annoy.

So in this scene, we see the first misfortune, and for every misfortune we see in the episode, I’m going to consider two key questions; 1) Were they hit with the stupid stick, 2) Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before.

Misfortune #1 – baby being ticketed.

Was Dean hit by the stupid stick to make this misfortune work? No.

Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before? I think the episode managed to show that okay so, Yes.

We go with the annoying music over to Sam. Sam’s cooking which honestly, he’s 6’ 4” of beautiful perfection already and he can cook using more than one pot? 😍. Or maybe not as the smoke alarm is going off and the water is in danger of boiling over.

We switch back to Dean at the store and I love the interaction with the clerk. Again I genuinely laughed. Dean: What’s new? Clerk (scratching his face): my psoriasis is back. Dean: Oh… Dean’s face here. 😂. He really didn’t want to know. The clerk was not following the protocols of polite conversation with people that are not strangers but not friends either. But what I love about this scene is that it shows Dean (and Sam) are know well enough in the town that they get the locals genuinely thinking they are interested in them and they really are not. This is small towns for you.

Sam uses his hands to take whatever that burning thing is out of the hot oven (I’ve seen people say a roast of some sort, but I’m thinking more likely garlic bread to go with the pasta, but I didn’t see it clearly enough on my screen to be sure). Unsurprisingly, Sam burns his hands.

Misfortune #2 – Sam burns his hands

Was Sam hit by the stupid stick to make this misfortune work? Yes, because it relies on Sam being dumb, and if you really think Sam doesn’t know to grab at the very least a dish towel instead of using his hands, you’ve got a far lower opinion of Sam than I have. This misfortune is not believable so it’s not funny.

Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before? It’s 100% likely this misfortune hasn’t happened after Sam reached the age of 2. 🙄

Back with Dean and I think he cracked a tooth on the candy bar he was eating. He hands over a credit card which seems to repeatedly fail.

Misfortune #3 – Dean has toothache

Was he hit with the stupid stick for this misfortune? No.

Is it believable that this has not happened before. Not really, our teeth can be okay right up until they aren’t. It’s easy to crack a failing tooth on a hard piece of candy. What makes this scene funny for me though is the fact that despite the pain Dean’s obviously in, he still tries to eat the candy bar. That was funny and I have no issue with this scene. But we’ll come back to the teeth thing later.

Back with Sam who is so fucking dumb and obviously learned nothing from touching hot metal only seconds before… because he once again touches hot metal and drops the pasta pot on the floor, Dean’s birthday pasta dinner is now in ruins. Ha ha, how I laughed and laughed at this scene… not really.

Misfortune #4 – Sam picks up metal pot and burns himself again

Does it rely on Sam being hit with the stupid stick? Yes, it’s not funny.

Is it believable this hasn’t happened before? I’ve covered this, Sam isn’t stupid show!

Back with Dean, and the credit card gets declined and Dean’s groceries get taken away, including his beer and partially eaten candy bar.

Misfortune #5 – credit card declined

Does this misfortune rely on Dean being hit with the stupid stick? No, it’s an external factor, and believable.

Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before? Yes, The episode covers this in conversation between Sam and Dean, this has not happened before and should not have happened.

Dean leaves the store and almost gets run over by a skateboarder (not slapped by stupid stick but not convinced something similar hasn’t happened before, they kept bumping into that girl in the street in mystery spot and I’m sure there’s other instances if I bothered to go looking). Dean’s reaction when he discovers baby has been ticketed though. Funny 😂

Back with Sam and he’s still in the kitchen looking at the ruined pasta when Dean returns, and we’ll “suspend disbelief” that time works in that way. Anyway, show is immediately forgiven as I get not one, but two SAMMEH’s to placate me. This show is awesome (not really).

Sam runs to Dean, because they’ve probably been separated all of twenty minutes by this point (less if Dean teleported both there and back). Sam trips and the jury’s out on this one.

Misfortune #6 – Sam tripping

Does it rely on Sam being slapped with the stupid stick? Somewhat, he’s not in control of his limbs and this is verging into not believable territory for me. I’ve seen someone else say his grace has been taken, but let’s look at the second question

Is it believable that the misfortune has not happened before? No, Sam has tripped before. He broke his wrist in season 2 tripping while running ffs. He broke his arm as a kid jumping off of something. If I could be bothered, I’d go looking for other instances – e.g. off the top of my head he wasn’t very stable on his feet when they came through the portal to the AU world. So this misfortune doesn’t work for me in what they are trying to show within the episode.

Anyway, Dean explains about the parking ticket, and it’s clear Sam’s warned him about parking there so Dean’s lucky not to have been ticketed before now. He tells Sam that the fake credit card Charlie hacked for them got declined. (I’m presuming Charlie as opposed to her AU doppelgänger). I like the explanation of how they’ve been getting money as I know some people always wondered, and unlike Dabb attempting to explain other things badly *cough* Sam hating Halloween *cough*, he doesn’t really fuck this one up. As an aside, I don’t mind Charlie is a character that has computer skills, I do mind that Sam’s own hacking skills were watered down needlessly and that took away one of Sam’s core skills. Anyway, before I get too bitter, we’ll move on…

Sam sneezes and I think using his sleeve is such a Jared thing to do, rather than sam. It’s cute though, I’ll let it slide.

Misfortune #7 – Sam gets ill

Does Sam being sick rely on him being slapped with the stupid stick? No

Is it believable that it has not happened before? No, I just don’t buy he’s never been sick and don’t think this is backed up in the show. In fact in 8.21, The Great Escapist, Dean brings a trials sick Sam food and says: “Alright, here we go. John Winchester's famous cure-all kitchen sink stew. There you go. Enough cayenne pepper in there to burn your lips off, just like Dad used to make.” Why would John Winchester have a cure all stew if they are never Ill from normal human things (I’m aware trials sick Sam isn’t a normal illness doesn’t count). But no, I don’t believe they were never sick before now.

In summary of all of this, I think the issues that happened to Dean work reasonably well. They are factors that don’t require Dean to forget basic things like hot metal = burny fingers. My two year old understood this and Sam can’t? Get the fuck out of here with that nonsense. So Sam’s misfortunes don’t work for me as they rely on Sam being a complete dumbass or me suspending belief that the Winchesters have never had an injury or been ill when I’ve watched the show and seen that they both have. It just illustrates what in theory could have been a good concept, but it’s poorly executed through lazy writing and poor characterisation. In short, Dabb at his finest. He wants something to happen and doesn’t care about the character to make it happen.

Anyway, Garth’s call saves me and you from further ranting, and he needs their help, and given he’s a werewolf, I think it’s safe to say that he’s our connection to the opening scene so nice tie in.

Driving to Garth’s Scene

On the drive to Garth’s, we get a broment in the car, Dean speculates they are cursed, Sam thinks they are just having a bad day, and from what I’ve seen so far, I agree with Sam. But Dean doesn’t think any of this is normal. Sam continues to sneeze while the piano music continues to annoy intermittently.

Cass mention! Thank fuck. I thought we were going to get through one episode without the obligatory mention of him off doing something completely useless that we don’t care about, but no, got to keep his psychotic fans happy at the expense of the rest of the audience that don’t give a fuck and are wondering what happened to their beautiful, beautiful show and why that weird guy in the trenchcoat keeps getting mentioned these days. 🙄

Sam’s still not convinced they aren’t dealing with normal things, but baby takes that moment to break down. I love Dean talking to baby here. Been there Dean, out in the middle of the arse end of nowhere, in the middle of the night and you break down. I like this scene.

Misfortune #8 – baby breaking down

Does baby breaking down rely on Dean being slapped with the stupid stick? No.

Is it believable that it hasn’t happened before? I can believe that baby breaking down is unusual as Dean has been shown to keep her in tip top condition with regular maintenance. I even remember the quote from John way back in season 1 that he wouldn’t have given Dean the car if he wasn’t going to take care of her, so Dean looks after that car. But baby breaking down never happened before? Not believable, I remember Dean teaching Sam car maintenance in an episode in season 3 and he certainly seemed to be repairing baby at the side of the road, so it’s not a believable misfortune for me.

Mechanic!Dean who built baby up from scratch in early season 2, doesn’t even take a look under the hood? They just start walking and leave her. I have safety concerns if nothing else. Do you guys not have hazard lights? Piano music is still annoying.

At Garth’s house Scene

The boys arrive at Garth’s house and yeah, Garth is friend/family, so close in fact that they don’t even know that Garth had more kids? I mean if they are selling friends/family don’t end in blood narrative, surely this would have made it on to Sam’s hunter newsletter? It’s just… not believable they wouldn’t already know this, but again sums up the writing. Friends when they want them to be, never mentioned in between times.

I think the bit where Garth tells Sam he named the kid after him is funny because of Sam’s reaction, but then we get:

Dean: that means this one must be…

Garth: …Castiel

I’m supposed to laugh right? Har de har. 🙄 This line is funny only if you don’t bother to look beneath the surface. It’s a cheap joke at the expense of character I personally don’t see a character like Garth doing something like this and he would know how shitty it was to do that. I also want to point out that this is the second instance - so far - that if Castiel had been killed off when he should have been, these 2 pandering references and jokes at Dean’s expense wouldn’t have been in the script. Just saying; a lot of the reason for poor writing is inserting the waste of space into the narrative to placate his fans, so he not only ruins the scenes he’s in, he ruins a scene even when he isn’t in it. Stop. The. Fucking. Pandering!

Oh cutie werewolf is okay. I’m so glad. I like the concept of this episode, bringing down a monster fight club. And as I mentioned before in another post, having Sam and Dean forced to take part in that fight club? Yeah, that would have been awesome. Sign me the fuck up for that episode. Why didn’t they write that?

We leave sleeping beauty after Dean has cracked his tooth yet again on more food. Sam’s still sneezing, but Garth’s wife, Bess, has something to help.

Meanwhile, Garth talks to Dean about how happy he is, I’m hoping that we’re seeing Garth in a normal and happy life as a reminder to the Winchesters that while it works for some people, it’s not something they want anymore. They are happy with the way things are. Supernatural has been great for breaking the barriers that not everyone wants a romantic life partner, not everyone wants children and I’ve applauded their stance. To fuck that up now, after 15 seasons, and force the cheesy narrative that “everybody needs a partner and 2.4 kids in order to be happy”, I’ll be seriously pissed.

I’m okay that Garth was studying to be a dentist before becoming a hunter and finished his degree when he semi retired. I don’t think it’s out of the blue and unrealistic, unlike making Charlie a super duper hunter on the basis of reading books or Claire the best hunter eva without any real training. I also think from memory of Madison etc. that werewolves are naturally stronger than humans, so in theory Garth could manhandle Dean in the way he did. However, I’d caution that it isn’t good dental practice to force your patients to have surgery against their will.

We go between Sam and Dean again and I’m still not getting whiplash so it’s okay. Sam’s been given a secret cure for his cold which he downs in one. Turns out the main ingredient was cayenne. The little girl watches Sam in pain: “Mummy, the giant’s crying”. I’ll let this one slide. I don’t get references to “giant” and Sasquatch, he’s tall but not extremely so imo.

Sam licking his sleeve – which he sneezed all over earlier - I’m dying. 😂

Dean suddenly has 17 cavities? Again, this is played for the joke, and I’m not a dentist, but his teeth looked perfectly fine on the bottom row and we only have 28 teeth to start with, unless the wisdom teeth come in okay. In the context of the episode, is this believable? For me, no. They should just have stuck with a couple of cavities and there’s no way Dean (and Sam) have the teeth they do without visiting a dentist regularly. I’m really not buying that the Winchesters are not normal people with normal people problems. Dabb completely failed to sell this as realistic to me. I’m not interested in the premise either. It’s dumb and has the potential to ruin the concept of the entire show, which Dabb is more than capable of being incompetent enough to do.

Is gas still allowed? Wow, no, fuck that, fully sedate me. Thank you.

“Big Sam is okay” says big Sam as he’s rolling about the floor still in pain. Still funny.

Okay, Dean’s being put to sleep with the gas and wait, what?! I had to double check google to confirm that this is not realistic. I may not be a dentist, but I know Nitrous oxide does not knock you out or put you to sleep – which is the whole point of having it as opposed to sedation. You remain conscious and responsive at all times and you do not dream. Only sedation knocks you out (which I’ve had) and only rarely has a patient said they dreamed while under sedation (I’ve had it a few times and never once dreamed, you go to sleep and wake up and it’s as if you’ve lost time, it feels like no time has passed between going to sleep and waking up). But why bother doing research when you can still just collect your pay check, quality be damned! Right? Dabb wanted Dean to have a weird dream sequence and a weird dream sequence is what he was going to have! And fuck anyone that expects a writer to do some god damn fucking research! And don't come back at me because Kripke was as much an idiot with him not knowing how long you go to college for.

Realism aside, I love the setting, I love the black and white, I love the lighting, I love that Jensen (and DJ) got the routine because this could have been a complete wirework part deux fiasco. I love that Jensen seems to be able to rise to anything thrown at him. I love his look at the end. Honestly, he is one sexy man. But… at the end of the day, I don’t think this scene worked for me. Would I rather have had a scene of Sam or Dean forced to fight monsters in the cage fight, yes please, sign me the fuck up. But Jensen did a great job with what he was asked to do so I can’t criticise him. I will criticise that they expected only 2 rehearsals to be enough and as I said before, this answers the wirework fiasco where actors train for months if wirework is involved.

One tap dance later and we’re back with Garth, and Dean’s mouth and face here. 😂

Garth twigs there’s something wrong and asks who they pissed off.

Sam shrugs: God

Okay, I do like when Garth asks if Sam and Dean are the heroes of the story, what does that make him, supporting character or special guest star? I use the term “side character” Garth for your future reference. Garth thinks for the first time in their lives that they are having “normal” people problems and I really, really, really do not buy that for several reasons.

Firstly, this whole episode relies on the premise that the Winchesters are not normal people who deal with normal problems, and that… just isn’t true. Sam’s broken bones at least 3 times, Dean’s broken his leg at least once, I don’t believe they’ve never been ill before and with the teeth they have, I don’t believe they don’t regularly visit a dentist. Going along with that premise just doesn’t work for me and means the episode and what happens within it was flawed from the start and I can’t suspend my disbelief and enjoy it because of the poor job they did setting this up. Sorry.

Secondly, I really, really, really don’t like the implication of what they are trying to say with this. Basically, the reason the Winchesters have been able to do what they’ve done is solely because of Chuck? They are able to fight only because of Chuck and not the years of practice and practical application in fighting monsters since before they reached double digits, Is that really the trash dumpster fire you’re trying to sell me here? Because I ain’t buying. That sounds like a terrible show that I’d be a little pissed at investing 15 years of my life watching.

Anyway, Cutie pie wakes up. Sam’s puppy dog eyes fail with him. This is not a drill, the puppy eyes fail, which get the fuck out, Sam is cute. He looks devastated. Bess is a stand in for Sam girls at this point, digging her fingernails into the werewolf formely known as cutie’s injury. Yeah, dickhead, you don’t fuck with Sam Winchester and not have us come after you. Anyway, Bess gets the location of the monster fight club and Sam and Dean are on the road.

Driving to fight club Scene

Love the shots of baby in this episode, and it’s clear that Dean at least still knows how to fix baby, so it’s only Sam that’s been made to look a twat in this episode. Good to know he’s not deserving of them putting any effort in. I suppose I should be grateful he’s not been knocked unconscious yet (yes, sometimes my bitter Sam girl can’t help but rise up in outrage).

Dean and Sam drive up to where the cage fights take place. This music is better. What the fuck Jensen, your Texan is showing in this scene. I can barely understand you. I like how Sam wants to prepare for anything when they get inside and Dean once again grabs the grenade launcher.

Dean eating sloppily, that never gets old, except when it does because Dean never ate sloppily before Tall Tales and its only funny in Tall Tales, because it’s Sam’s exaggeration of him.🙄

Inside Fight club Scene

Ah Sam’s been slapped with the stupid stick again. Ha ha. Seriously? I’m not even going to cover this, see misfortune #6 🙄

Dean’s lactose intolerant now, or he may just have overeaten on the cheese sandwiches. Since this isn’t making Dean incompetent, I can believe this is an external influence. I can also believe that Dean rarely, if ever vomits from food so it’s a believable misfortune.

I spoke too soon on Sam being knocked unconscious. 🙄 I think the thud we hear when Dean is throwing up in the toilet is Sam being knocked out. I’d say it serves them right as the two have never looked less like hunters, hollering all over the place, not being quiet and not being weapons ready. Is this incompetence more of Chuck’s “influence”? Really? I’m not buying this is logical. It’s stupid and not believable and I’m getting 😡

Now we have the funniest line of this episode, if not the entire series. Sam: I can’t believe they got the drop on me.” Considering Samsel in distress gets knocked out fairly frequently, someone is deliberately taking the piss with this line.

I like the scene between the brothers and the owner of the fight ring. Dean (to the shifter): Shifter? So you chose that face?! I can’t. 😂. This is a funny line, ditch the Cass pandering bull and come up with lines like this.

I absolutely love the promo scenes for the upcoming fights and the use of their mug shots for the Winchesters. Monday Monster Mayhem. This is my new show. Get me 22 episodes, stat!

How stupid are they separating the brothers into different cages? Don’t they know that just pisses them off? Saving grace is they can see each other so neither is panicking just yet.

Dean finds something to try to pick the lock. He can’t do it and it’s over to Sam who… also can’t do it. And this is where I disconnect again. Sam and Dean were trained, picking a lock for them isn’t “luck”, it’s nothing to do with reduced to being “normal”. Picking a lock for them is the equivalent of driving a car for anyone else,. It’s a skill that once learned, shouldn’t be something difficult for them, it’s inherent within them. But Dean broke a nail trying, ha ha 🙄

Was that speech supposed to be inspiring, because it was pretty bad. 😬 I’m not even going to cover it. We’ve heard a variation of it alternating between Sam and Dean every episode (depending on whose turn it is to lose faith this week) and it’s getting boring.

No surprise to learn that Dabb was trolling with the shirts off comment. Shocker. When the shifter goes to get Sam and Dean from their cages for their upcoming fight with a vamp, they’ve disappeared. We rewind to find out how Sam and Dean achieved their great escape. Once again, I like how this scene is shot. I also like the music most of the time in this scene. I like Dean saying “He’s so strong” (about Garth) but no Hellers, he’s still not bi.

Contrary to what some people think, I’m not averse to the Winchesters having help. They’ve had help throughout the series. Bobby in Yellow Fever came to the rescue. Ellen and Jo helped in the hellhound episode (and paid with their lives) so no issue. My two caveats are: a) is it feasible for the helper to have those skills and b) were the boys dumbed down to make the helper look good. I think feasibly Garth has the skills for sure, but the Winchesters were slapped with the stupid stick in not being able to pick a lock so it’s another fail for me.

Okay, did Garth just blow up all the monsters, including ones that may have been there against their will or like his wife’s cousin, were just trying to make some money? I mean were they really doing any harm, monsters fighting monsters? If they are watching each other and killing each other, and therefore not killing humans then isn’t that a good thing?

Oh, looks like I’m getting my fight scene! Bring it. Wait, what is with this fucking music in this scene, is this a cartoon? Dean apparently can still fight, he scores a direct hit in the vamps balls. Sadly, it makes no difference because for some reason the vamp has balls of steel and Dean gets kicked right back in his and he’s out.

It’s Sammy’s turn and unfortunately, Sam was slapped again with the stupid stick this episode, he’s swinging and missing and that boy has never had a single sparring session in his life and he gets punched in the face. Should have complained less and listened to John more Sammy, you might even have been able to fight by now.

I’ve no idea what Dean is doing now, he’s finally been slapped with the stupid stick – Yay? I guess? Never seen him do this stupid move before and I pray to Chuck and all the deities that I never have to be forced to see it again because what the actual fuck are they going with here? No seriously? It’s not remotely funny, it’s a caricature.

Thankfully he’s head-butted before I have to endure more, and rooting for the monster of the week is a new one on me, but here we are.

Sam “I haven’t been in training from a very young age” Winchester is back up. He goes for a kick and is flipped over. Trying not to be distracted by the padabooty writhing on the floor again this episode – and damn you Dabb for knowing what I like - Dean’s back up. It makes a change for Dean to be getting strangled, I’ll give them that. I also like how he tries to tap out and the vamp just allows it. It’s dumb, but actually funny so it gets a pass.

Oh thank goodness, Garth to the rescue… again, because I cannot with how terrible this entire scene was. Is it believable that the Winchesters who trained for years just can’t fight any more and that’s part of the “bad luck”? Fuck no, it’s insulting I had to watch this nonsense.

Back at Garths Scene

Dean (holding one baby): “This Cass keeps looking at me weird.” Sam (holding the other baby): “so kind of like the real Cass”. Another pandering line that is unnecessary. If only Cass had stayed dead we wouldn’t have to endure these forced unfunny lines 😔

Garth suggests they go to a place in Alaska he’s heard about that might help with their “bad luck”.

Love the use of Werewolves of London, decent music for a change. Garth dancing with Bess is sweet. I’m not sure by Sam’s look whether he’s wishful thinking. I didn’t get that impression at all through the episode until now. I really hope not. Dean definitely doesn’t seem interested in having normal.

There’s a broment in the car at the end talking about normal and that they are not normal.

In terms of revolving side characters, Garth’s character is one I can take or leave. If his character had been ruined, it wouldn’t bother me as much as what they did with Gabriel. However, they didn’t ruin his character and I’m glad he’s a hunter that got a happy ending.

In summary, my annoyance with parts of the episode have nothing to do with it being a Dabb episode and everything to do with it being an interesting premise, once again poorly executed due to lack of talent. I’ll stick with BDABR, Yellow Fever and French Mistake.

#spn spoilers #15.10 #the heroes journey #episode review #episode recap #spn critical

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