#glad everyone has known it was gay

[rain-shoshana]

Found the full sketch! It’s so good!!

I hope you appreciate the casual johnlock in this 90’s Granada Holmes SNL skit

[quatregats]

Beloved mutual experiencing the pain of CS Forester writing things about Spain and I am relieving every single moment of reading Ship of the Line in vivid detail

[im-subtextsexual]

I’m glad so many people picked up on the vibes between Eloise and Cressida. Not a ship I ever considered before, but the tension was palpable. I’ve been a Queer Eloise truther since reading the books. Her portrayal on the show only made it more obvious in my mind. I didn’t think the writers would ever go there, but the set up is just so explicit, now I’m not sure. I don’t think they’d actually make Eloise / Cressida canon, but I do think they’re testing the waters for wlw Eloise. And it makes perfect sense. 

First off, the character is queer (I’ll hold off from labeling her a lesbian outright, because there’s definitely room for other identities like bi, demi, ace…. etc.) Even in the books. I legitimately think Julia Quinn accidentally wrote a sapphic character and then didn’t know what to do with her. So what we got is “To Sir Phillip, With Love”, widely considered to be one of the worst in the series. Believe me, if there’s any story that could stand to deviate from the books, it’s this one. And the story could so easily be adapted to a wlw romance, it would be a wasted opportunity not to do it. Like… the story would be better if they tweaked it to fit a queer canon. AND it could be done in a historically accurate way to shut up the naysayers that “a lesbian storyline wouldn’t fit in this universe.” How? Allow me to explain.

*SPOILERS FOR BRIDGERTON SERIES BOOK 5*

In the book, Eloise strikes up a correspondence with Sir Phillip Crane. Yes, THAT Phillip, the one currently married to Marina from season 1&2. Marina kills herself because she can’t stand to be married to Phillip and deal with their children in the wake of her lover / his brother’s death. His initial interest in Eloise is to find a mother for his children. She is intrigued by his intelligence and decides she doesn't want to be alone, but isn’t necessarily eager to marry or have a family. Due to romance novel shenanigans, she runs away to Phillip's house and is forced to marry him. Even as they grow to kind of love each other, it's far from some grand romance. It’s the very definition of “settling”. The most interesting part is the narrative structure of their story being told through letters in the beginning. We could keep all that, but make it gay. 

*Imagine*

Eloise meets some dapper gentlemen new to the marriage mart. We’ll call him Emmett. Very little is known about Emmett and his family as they keep largely to themselves at their estate in the countryside. The only thing that’s widely known is the family suffered a tragic accident where the man of the house and his oldest daughter died, leaving his son (the other twin) to take on the responsibility of rank and title very early. Emmet is making a rare appearance in London to find a wife (there are rumors of stipulations in his inheritance requiring a match). ALL the debutantes are fawning over him because he’s mysterious and extraordinarily good-looking. One might even say “pretty”… To everyone’s great surprise the season’s most eligible bachelor takes a special interest in Eloise after overhearing her talking about her disdain for the social convention of marriage, and how she would only consider it if it were an in-name-only, marriage of convenience. Emmett strikes up a conversation with Eloise and she is taken by his humor, wit and shockingly deep empathy for the limitations society puts on women. They continue to gravitate to each other through the first few events of the season, but Emmett has to return home suddenly because of a family emergency. Eloise is shocked to find herself disappointed, but they promise to write. Cue the correspondence romance.

Eloise grows more and more smitten with Emmett every letter she receives, but still has the same reservations about marriage especially when she thinks of the intimacy a relationship like that would require. When Emmett hints that he may want more than friendship, Eloise's feelings get the better of her and she goes to visit Emmett unannounced. He is shocked to see her, but let's her stay and she gets to know his mother and two younger sisters. The Bridgertons go looking for Eloise, worried something has happened to her. When she is found to have been staying for days in an unwed man's home without a chaperone, the potential scandal causes Anthony to force Eloise and Emmett to marry. Surprisingly, Emmett actually agrees so Eloise does too (all of this is essentially what happens in the book).

Eloise confesses to Emmett that she's nervous/resistant to physical intimacy, but he assures her they never have to be together that way. In fact, he would prefer the marriage of convenience they always talked about. Eloise is relieved until their kiss at the wedding sparks an attraction she wasn't expecting. They spend the first month or so of their marriage sleeping in separate rooms, enjoying each other's company, and letting the tension build. One night, Eloise's control and curiosity finally snaps and she goes to Emmett's room to initiate a physical relationship. She catches Emmett off guard in his sleeping clothes which makes it VERY clear... Emmett is a woman (cliffhanger of episode 4, and where we deviate from book canon to make it queer).

After the initial shock, Eloise allows her new "husband" to explain. Emmett is really Emma, the daughter believed to have died in a carriage accident with her father so many years ago. It was her twin brother that actually died, but since there were no other male heirs, Emma's family fortune would have gone to a distant uncle who is cruel and abusive. To save them of that fate, Emma's mother conspired with the local coroner to make it look like Emma was the one who died, so "Emmett" could inherit everything. Emma has been living as Emmett ever since, successfully keeping up the deception by keeping a low profile in society. The only reason Emma came to London that year is because her uncle died, and a cousin had come around asking questions hoping to inherit. She thought getting married would help secure her identity as Emmett and the cousin would back off. At first Eloise is outraged. She feels betrayed by Emma's duplicity, and is terrified if any of this ever got out everyone they know would be ruined forever. She agrees to keep the secret to save her family's reputation, but shuns Emma. Eventually, Emma (already aware that she's in love with Eloise) attempts to make amends and Eloise is charmed enough that she relaxes back into the relationship they had before the Big Reveal. The only problem is the attraction is still there, even more so now that Eloise knows the truth. Things come to a head, and they go at it Bridgerton style.

Emma and Eloise live happily in a true marriage for a bit until Cressida and Penelope come for a visit. They both find out about Emma, but are sworn to secrecy. Pen easily swears her loyalty (having already suspected Eloise), but Cressida is sickened. In a rage, she threatens to out them all, and storms back to London. Eloise follows her and begs Cressida to keep the secret, and tries to explain why the "wrong" feelings she has for Emma are very right for her. To Eloise's surprise, Cressida isn't upset about what she's doing with Emma, but who she's doing it with. She didn't know what they're doing was an option; that she was an option. Cressida confesses that if she'd known a life with Eloise was a choice she could make, it's the life she would have chosen. Eloise lets Cressida down easy by explaining they didn't have that choice. Everyone in the ton knows who they are. The only reason her relationship with Emma works is because of the ruse that allows Emma to be Emmett. Cressida takes this in stride, and vows to keep the secret, but her mother overhears and causes the biggest scandal London Society has ever seen.

The Bridgertons and a few friends (like Lady Danbury) are as understanding as possible, but the rest of the ton is rabid. Things escalate to the point where Emma and Eloise have to appear before the Queen. Emma pleads her case about pretending to save her family, and insists that Eloise didn't know until well after they were married so she's innocent. Eloise can't help herself and gets on her soapbox about the way society limits women, and that the Queen should understand their plight. Shockingly, she does. She annuls their "marriage" (because they didn't consummate anything... RIGHT?!) but she agrees to let Emma control her family's estate until one of her sisters produces a male heir. After that, she and Eloise will receive a pension from the Crown so they can live independently (the real Queen Charlotte actually did this for suspected historical sapphic couple The Ladies of Llangollen). Since Emma and Eloise would never be able to find husbands now, they decide that they'll just be two spinsters growing old together in their house in the countryside. You know... just two gal pals. No one believes that shit, but they rarely interact with the ton, so they're largely left alone to live as they please.

Happy ending, close to canon, historically accurate, and super gay. It's not that hard. You're welcome.

[ladykailitha]

The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 2

I'm so glad that people enjoyed the first part of this so much. I hope you like sexy times and long chapters, because this has both.

I should point out that this is mid to late 80s and Eddie's cell phone is an actual fucking brick. Rich rockstar and all.

In this part we get Eddie sliding into home, finding out Steve's real age and how he got into the bar past a bouncer known for spotting fakes.

Part 1

Mature 18+ only!

~

Eddie was doing what he did best and that was absolutely shred on stage. He was back up vocals because Jeff truly had the pipes. Something they didn’t actually learn until they were half way through their first record.

He had no delusions that if he had remained lead singer, that they would have gotten absolutely fucking nowhere.

He was also keeping an eye on his little canary. Bright yellow in a sea of leather and chains. He just wanted to bite those cheeks. Face or ass, didn’t matter which. Though he would be very happy indeed to sink his teeth into that amazing ass.

Too soon and not soon enough they were saying goodbye. As they walked off stage, Eddie saw Chrissy come back up to Steve. Most likely telling him to stay a little longer.

Eddie was 97% sure that little Canary gave off queer vibes, but that little teeny-tiny doubt was all it took from going over there and bending him over the bar and fucking him wildly.

In the dressing room as they were putting away their guitars, Chrissy came bouncing into the room, bright smile on her face.

“You fucking owe me big time, lover boy,” she told Eddie. “His name is Steve, he’s twenty-two and he’s a local.”

Eddie leaned back against the sofa cushion and draped one arm over the back. “That’s all very interesting Chris, but that doesn’t help me get laid.”

She held up her hand. “I’m getting to it, babe. Pretty boy’s drinking his sorrows because Daddy kicked him out for being caught with his boyfriend.”

Suddenly Eddie was on the edge of his seat, elbows on his knees.

“Who told you that?” Gareth asked, twirling a stick between his fingers.

“Monty, the bouncer,” Chrissy replied, looking smug. “Steve is a regular and Monty knows him.”

Jeff raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Well enough that he would know the dude is queer in small town Bumfuck, Indiana?”

“That’s what he said.”

Brian rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “The worst thing that would happen is that he blows you off and you blow town. Everyone knows you’re gay anyway, it won’t hurt shit if he says anything.”

Jeff and Gareth exchanged concerned glances.

“I’m with Brian,” Eddie said, “and not just because I find the dude hot. He’s not going to start shit surrounded by all my fans and if he’s just out for drinks there’s nothing wrong with me having a couple with the guy.”

Gareth and Jeff sighed.

“You were going to do whatever you wanted to do anyway,” Gareth said. “And even I could tell he had a hard time keeping his eyes off you and I’m in the fucking back!”

Eddie cackled. “Damn right.”

~

Steve was enjoying his second Tequila Sunrise, when the lead guitarist slid into the stool next to him.

Steve turned in his seat to look at him. “Wow, as I live and breathe, Eddie Munson in the flesh. You know you’re better looking in person then you are in pictures.”

Eddie cackled and ordered a beer. He turned to face Steve as the bartender pulled his beer and set it down in front him.

“Cocktails are an interesting choice,” he murmured after taking a sip of his beer. “I would have pegged you for the bottle beer type.”

Steve raised an eyebrow over the top of his glass. “Beer’s great unless you want to get drunk fast then it’s shit. Especially in this hick town.” He took a sip. “Plus it tastes better.”

Eddie threw back his head and laughed. “Fair point. I stick to beer so that I don’t get drunk off my ass, falling off stage is never fun regardless of the height involved.”

“Sounds like you’ve had experience,” Steve said with a huff of laughter.

Eddie hummed around the lip of his bottle and took a sip. “Yep! In the early days of the band, took a header off a stage at some festival, right into the crowd. I’m not sure who got hurt worst, me or the poor people I landed on.”

Steve winced. “That’s rough. At least you were able to come back from that, don’t think most people could.”

“Thank you,” Eddie said with a smile.

They continued to talk. Steve knew the signs. The way Eddie was leaning close, the way he would let his hands gaze his skin, the flirty language. There was no doubt Steve was going home with this one. Well hotel, anyway. So he slowed up on his alcohol intake.

And if the bartender’s smirk was any indication, Eddie was doing the same. It seemed that neither one was interested in drunk sex.

~

Eddie was going to kill Monty and Jeff was never going to let him live it down. Because there was no way this guy was twenty-two. Sure, he knew how to hold his liquor and when to slow down, he had to give him that, so clearly he’d been drinking awhile. But he talked like a high school student.

He just hoped his little Canary was only naive and not actually fucking under age.

“Shit,” Eddie said after draining the rest of his third beer in two hours, “I could kill for a smoke.”

“I wouldn’t mind one,” Steve said, leaning close, “if you’ve got one to share.”

Eddie eyed him up and down. “What no room in those pants for a pack of smokes?”

“I mean I could,” Steve said cocking his head to the side, “But it would leave much room for anything else and I kinda need my wallet more than I need a pack of smokes on me at all times, so...”

Eddie laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, darlin’, I can see why that might be a problem.”

He hopped off the stool and Steve dutifully followed him out the back. He pulled out a couple of smokes and lit them both before handing one to Steve.

“So how did you get your fake ID past the door gargoyle?” Eddie asked after taking a drag and blowing straight up into the air.

Steve threw back his head and laughed. “What gave me away?”

Yup. Jeff was never going to let him live this down. God damn it.

“For all your big talk,” he huffed, annoyed, “you don’t sound like someone who’s been around long enough to be the age on your ID.”

Steve shrugged. “I’ve had the same ID since I was sixteen. Both of them. I have a cousin Scott who was nineteen at the time and altered it for me.” He pulled out the fake ID and handed it to him.

Eddie squinted in the dark and realized that if he hadn’t been told it was a fake he wouldn’t have noticed a damn thing. But there slight smudges where there shouldn’t be that just tipped it over the edge into fake territory.

“Okay,” he groused, “that is a pretty good fake. But Monty is known for his eagle eye in spotting a fake, so what gives?”

Steve grinned as he took back the ID. “Scott is my cousin on my dad’s side and Monty’s my cousin on my mom’s side. He knows my parents are shit so he pays the owner under the table when I go out to drink here. Which I keep to a minimum for his sake, mainly I use it to buy beer in out of town gas stations.” He pulled out his real ID and handed it Eddie. “I’m young, but I’m not stupid.”

Eddie blinked at Steve for a moment in shock. He looked down at the real age and god, the sigh of relief he bit back was immense. Nineteen. His little Canary was nineteen.

“Sorry for doubting you,” Eddie murmured, handing the ID back.

Steve shrugged again. “I get it. I’ve been told I have kind of a weird face when it comes to age, I could look anywhere from sixteen to thirty depending on the lighting and what I’m wearing.” He took his first drag of his cigarette and blew out of the side of his mouth, flicking the ashes on the ground.

Eddie stared at him owlishly for a moment before he dropped his cigarette on the pavement and ground it with the heel of his boot. Then he surged forward and grabbed Steve’s face to mash their lips together.

Steve’s fingers slackened and the cigarette fell from his fingers and rolled away. He brought his hands up to get his hands on those curls like he’d been dreaming about all night. Eddie moaned as blunt nails scratched his scalp. He wrapped his arms around Steve and pulled him in close.

This time it was Steve’s turn to moan. They pressed together from chest to knees and he could feel everything through the thin layer of his clothes.

Eddie’s hands roamed down his back and straight to those delicious looking ass cheeks. He wanted to taste them as surely as he could taste the ash on his lips.

All the buildup, all the tension all night was culminated in this first kiss. Eddie was heady with it. The alcohol in his system burning away in the face of his desire for this man. Because young as he was his little Canary was a man, no doubt.

A man who clearly wanted to take this elsewhere and Eddie wanted to let him.

“Just, just,” he panted when he pulled away. “Just let me tell someone we’re going back to the hotel, okay baby?”

Steve nodded a little kiss drunk and a lot breathless. “Should I just wait here for you then?”

Eddie nodded and then dashed back into the bar. He was barely gone two minutes before he was back out and dragging Steve to his car.

When they got to the car, Eddie pushed him up against it to kiss him again.

“Someone’s eager,” Steve teased, his hands skirting the stripe of skin between Eddie’s pants and shirt.

“Baby, you have no idea,” he growled, diving in to kiss him senseless.

Steve moaned as every nerve in his body lit up with every lick of Eddie’s tongue, every kiss of his lips, every touch of his hands. He felt like he was on fire.

Eddie pulled away long enough to unlock the car. He opened the door and practically shoved Steve into it, before he ran around to the other side of the car and got into the driver’s seat.

“Hold on, baby,” Eddie purred as the engine roared to life, “you’re in for a ride.”

“God I hope so!” Steve said breathlessly, pressing back against the leather of the seat.

Eddie cackled, pulling into traffic. “Oh honey, you have no idea.”

~

Hands were everywhere by the time they finally got into the hotel room.

Steve had stayed in some pretty swanky places growing up, traveling with his parents but fuck it was nothing this decadent.

All the fittings were brass and the tops were marble. In the middle of this was a large king size bed with black bedding and white throw pillows. If he wasn’t trying to get the two of them naked as fast as possible, he would have belly flopped on the mattress and buried his face in the pillows.

But all thoughts of that went out the window when Eddie’s mouth starting kissing down his throat as the only thing going off in his head became: YES! YES! YES!

Steve’s shirt was the first thing to come off as Eddie kept trying to get at more of Steve’s skin. Then Steve’s pants and shoes were next, leaving him naked in the face of the very dressed rock star.

Eddie picked him up and threw him on the bed. He tossed off his jacket and then tore of his shirt. He hopped on the bed and crawled up Steve’s body like a predator on the prowl. Steve moaned as Eddie kissed him deeply.

“God,” Steve groaned. “I need you to fuck me, so badly.”

Eddie grinned, his hands moving down Steve’s chest and sides to land on his hips. “Is that right, little Canary? You need to be fucked?”

Steve nodded, his capacity for speech having flown away with his ability to think of anything but getting to be fucked by a rock star.

Eddie scrambled off the bed and took off his boots and pants. Then he dug around in the nightstand before he pulled out what he was looking for. A small tube of lube and a pack of condoms.

Steve’s body shuddered with the thought of being absolutely wrecked by this beast of a man. Eddie looked good in his clothes, but so much better out of them. He was still as lean and tight as whipcord, but his body was toned with well-formed muscle. And then he pulled his hair back and suddenly Steve wanted to leave hickies all over that column of his throat. Because God! It was just as sinful as the rest of him.

“Shit,” he hissed. “You’re the reason people think gays are going to hell. You’re as gorgeous as sin. Fuck!”

Eddie blinked at him for a moment and threw back his had in laughed. “Baby, that was quite the line.” But before Steve could even think about frowning at being laughed at, he dived back in to kiss his mouth. “If I’m sin, little Canary, then you must be heaven sent.”

Steve wanted to protest that Eddie’s line was worst, but again all thoughts went out of his head when Eddie put the first condom on Steve. His hips bucked with the touch even if it wasn’t a sexual one.

“Now who’s the eager one, baby?” Eddie purred.

Steve moaned the loss of his hands as he watched Eddie sheath his dick in the second condom. He tossed the foil packets away and then popped open the cap of lube. He coated his finger with the liquid and circled Steve’s hole.

Steve let out a little whine at being touched but not enough. It wasn’t enough. Then Eddie breached the ring of muscle and holy fuck, it felt so good.

“You like that, little Canary?” Eddie teased, working his finger in and out of him.

“So good,” Steve breathed, trying not fuck himself on the digit.

“And you’re going to continue feel good, aren’t you?” Eddie murmured into Steve stomach. “Because you’re going to be a good boy and tell me if anything is uncomfortable or hurts, right?”

Steve nodded.

“Use your words, little Canary,” Eddie said, pulling his finger out of him.

“Yes!” Steve cried, though he would have said anything just so that Eddie would come back with his finger.

“Good boy.”

But when he brought his finger back, he added another and Steve nearly careened off the bed. Eddie held him down with his other hand.

“Look at you,” he purred. “I’ve never been with anyone so responsive before, baby.”

“So good for you,” Steve babbled. “Want to be so good.”

“And you are,” Eddie assured him. “You are so good for me.”

Shortly after the second finger, a third was added and Steve was muttering pleas and inanities as Eddie continued to work him open.

“Please, Eddie!” he cried. “I need you!”

Eddie removed his fingers and lined himself up. He grabbed Steve’s hips and slipped right into him.

Soon it was an uncoordinated mess of Eddie fucking Steve and Steve working himself to get off.

“So close...” Steve whispered.

Eddie grabbed Steve’s hand and together they finished him off. His body arched off the bed as he released into the condom. He fell boneless, to the bed as Eddie chased his own completion.

Soon after he was releasing ribbon after ribbon into the condom. His hips shuttered and then stilled as the last of his orgasm floated through his system.

He pulled off Steve’s condom first and then his own, making sure to tie each off before throwing them away.

He cleaned them both up with a wet hand towel from the en suite bathroom and then tucked a sleepy Steve into the bed.

He crawled in behind him and pulled him in close. He kissed Steve’s shoulder and the man muttered back sleepily something that sounded a little too close to, “Love you, too,” for Eddie’s liking.

Not because he didn’t want Steve in love with him, but because he was half way there himself.

This boy was going to be trouble.

~

Steve absolutely doesn't remember saying those three little words the next day.

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

Tag List: CLOSED

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3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

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9- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart

[alphajocklover]

hey there. My name is Derek. Im your average, slightly overweight gay guy from Chicago. I work as a pretty decent graphic designer downtown. And honestly, my life has gotten boring. I’ve been with the same guy for far too long. And I sometimes wish I could be one of those loud, obnoxious straight dudes you see at bars. You know the ones I’m talking about. Total jerks who make rude and crude comments to women. Muscles so big. Obnoxious loud clothing. Yeah. Is it weird that I want to be the most hated straight douchebag in the world? Haha it’d be so different

Hey Derek! I’m glad you reached out. You’re asking a question a lot of gay men have asked throughout history: Is it weird that you want to be a straight, buff, misogynist douchebag? Are you a freak because a part of you wants to be the kind of guy you’ve always hated? You’ve always believed in being proud of your sexuality, in treating everyone, especially women, with respect, in common decency, equality, and respect. Usually you’d find those straight, cocky jerks as obnoxious as anyone else. But just like a lot of men (and sometimes women), both in and outside of the LGBTQ community, there are times where, even though you know you shouldn’t, you wish you were one of those guys. It’s hard to say why people get this strange desire. It could be that you’re jealous of their bodies, how they’re so muscular, beefy, and powerful. It could be that you admire their confidence, the way they cockily smirk like they rule the world. It could be that you long to be like them because, despite their flaws, they’re the manly men that society has always told men we should all be.

Or it could be that you know, deep down, that they’re what you were meant to be. That they’re what you could have been, should have been, and would have been… if you hadn’t been turned gay.

Before we continue I wanna make a few things clear. Being gay isn’t a choice, you can’t cure gayness with dumbass abusive therapy, gay people do not turn other people gay, and homosexuality is a perfectly natural thing that some people just are. But… not all people. There are some people in this world, like you Derek, who have been turned gay. You were supposed to be straight. In fact you were supposed to be a straight, beefy, misogynistic, douchebag. But someone changed you, derailed your fate so that you’d be different. They saw you, didn’t approve, and so they went back in time and changed you. It’s not just you either. There are thousands of supposedly gay men who are really straight douchebags who got turned.

The group of people responsible for these changes are mysterious and covered in shadow. Those who know of them call them the SAD, the Society Against Douchebags. Not much is known about them, just that they come from the far future and use a strange machine to go back in time and change the lives of certain straight douchebags through manipulation and futuristic technology. The reason you were always so unathletic and heavy? You had nano machines working against you, keeping on the weight and taking down your endurance. The reason you could never seem to say the right thing and always embarrassed yourself around cool guys? They’d use those same machines to make you feel awkward and uncomfortable so you’d say the wrong thing. The reason you’re gay? They altered your brain chemistry.

But I know someone who can help you turn back.

A group like the SAD, one that so recklessly changes the timeline, doesn’t go unnoticed forever. Eventually another group formed, one that fought back against them. They call themselves the Douchebag Revolution. They’re exactly what they sound like. Straight, buff douchebags who either didn’t get targeted for one reason or another or were saved from their false lives and wanna take down the people who tried to destroy them. They go around, liberating guys like your from their fake fag lives, fighting the SAD and living that douchebag lifestyle.

Personally I try to keep out of their whole time war thing. I don't think what the SAD does is good, but time travel is so fucking complicated I’d like to avoid anyone who uses it all together. Plus the Douchebag Revolution is pretty homophobic, so they wouldn’t accept an actual gay guy like me in their ranks. But I do have a few contacts in the Douchebag Revolution who tolerate me. I could get you in touch. They have a way to reverse what the SAD did to you. A serum. It’ll make you exactly what you always should have been: a straight, beefy, asshole. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to take it. You can stay this way, always wondering who you would have been. But I don’t think that’s what you want. I can see it in your eyes. You know what you are.

You’re a douchebag. Welcome to the Revolution.

Don’t worry about your boyfriend. Either he’s an agent of the SAD or he’s a fellow turned Douchebag. Either way your new friends will help you take care of it.

**another G2S story. I know they’re controversial but they’re so much fun. Definitely going to revisit the douchebag Revolution idea sometime.**

[unclewaynemunson]

Thanks to a conversation I had with @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe and @stevesbipanic about this post by @piratefishmama about Scott Clarke helping middle schoolers with sexuality crises I wrote a lil something :)

Scott Clarke has been worrying about Eddie Munson ever since the boy first set foot into his classroom. He was tiny for his age and thin on the verge of being scrawny, with big, scared eyes in a pale face. With his long, dark curls he was the kind of boy who would unavoidably be called names for being too much like a girl, and Scott wasn't surprised that it only took one week before the boy came in with his hair all buzzed off, pulling even more attention to his expressive eyes instead.

Scott was known for worrying about the nerdy kids, and even though it wouldn't be obvious to everyone right away, he immediately noticed that Eddie was one of those. He wasn't the kind of nerdy kid who would sit in the front of the classroom, hanging onto Scott's every word while avidly scribbling down the secrets of the universe that Scott liked to share. No, Eddie was the other kind of nerdy kid: the kind who would often be called dreamy, or imaginative, or quiet, or lazy. The kind who would retreat to the back of the class and get low scores on their tests because they were spending their time sneakily reading comic books underneath the table or staring out of the window with their mind completely elsewhere for hours on end.

Middle school wasn't an easy place for kids like Eddie, as Scott knew all too well. The only thing he could do, as a teacher, was try to make it a little bit more bearable for him. He was glad when the boy took him up on his offer to spend his lunch breaks in the science classroom instead of the cafeteria or the playground. Soon, it became a habit that Eddie would be on the other side of Scott's desk reading his way through some big book while Scott was grading papers or preparing his next lesson.

Scott knew that with patience and kindness, all kids like Eddie would eventually come out of their shell and start trusting him. So he asked about the books Eddie brought first, proceeded to topics like music and games he liked to play later, and eventually could ask him about his home life.

Whenever he'd talk about his books or his music, Eddie's eyes lit up and his smile widened. Scott soon found out that, when Eddie was at ease, he could talk a mile a minute and bounce around the classroom, caught up in his stories with all kinds of excited hand gestures. At those moments, he was nothing like the quiet boy with the haunted look in his eyes who Scott met two months ago.

But Eddie never disclosed much about his personal life. He didn't mention his mother even once and he didn't tell Scott much more than that he was living with his uncle in Forest Hills because his dad was “unavailable” to take care of him.

Scott doubted whether Eddie was much better off living with his uncle than with his father. Judging from the meager lunches he brought with him, the shabby and ill-fitting clothes he wore, and the fact that the man never once came to drop Eddie off or pick him up at school, Scott was skeptical, to say the least.

He started worrying even more when one day, Eddie lingered in the classroom after the last lesson of the day, saying he wanted to ask him a “science question” with a certain dread in his eyes that Scott had never seen there before.

“There's nothing I love more than a good science question,” Scott quickly reassured him. “Tell me, what is it?”

“The other kids,” said Eddie, “Brendon and Mark and, you know... They call me names.” His voice was soft and his eyes were aimed towards the ground as he spoke. “Queer. And fag. And...” He shrugged. “Y'know.” He raised his head up again, big scared eyes meeting Scott's.

“I – I think they're right,” he said, almost in a whisper. “How can you stop being gay?”

And oh, this was a conversation Scott had experience with. He had been a teacher at Hawkins Middle School for almost two decades and there had always been kids he worried about, who would open up to him about this exact topic.

So he sat Eddie down at his desk and patiently talked him through everything the boy needed to know; God knows his trailer park uncle most certainly wouldn't. He told him all about science and nature and feelings and, most importantly, being perfect the way you are, no matter who you love.

More than two hours later, Eddie finally left the classroom with relief in his eyes instead of dread. But Scott kept worrying: Eddie's uncle hadn't so much as called the school to inform where Eddie was. Who was looking out for him after the last school bell rang and the kid rode his bike out of Scott's sight?

Not long after that conversation, Scott finally got to meet Mr. Munson for the first time. He was one of Scott's last appointments of the yearly parent-teacher evening, and Scott half expected him not to show up. But he was right on time, even though he looked almost comically out of place when he walked into the science classroom.

He was exactly what Scott would've imagined of a man living in Forest Hills: washed-up jeans and a worn-down flannel, cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth, and a gruff frown hidden underneath a faded gray trucker's hat. He walked up to where Scott was seated behind his desk in a few big strides, and Scott couldn't help but think that there was something almost intimidating in merely the way he carried himself. Not exactly the kind of man who radiated safety for a boy like Eddie.

They shook hands and Scott felt rough callouses press against his own chalk-stained fingers.

While Scott talked Mr. Munson through Eddie's grade list – a list that at this point was barely enough to get him into the next grade – Mr. Munson didn't say anything. Only when Scott asked him if he had any questions, he opened his mouth.

“How're the other kids treatin' him?” the man asked him in a thick southern accent.

“It's not easy for him,” Scott answered in all honesty. He wondered how much Eddie told his uncle about what his days at school usually looked like.

Mr. Munson bowed his head. “I know,” he mumbled.

“Eddie is a sensitive kid, he –”

“I know what kinda kid he is,” Mr. Munson interrupted him immediately. It sounded sharp and Scott wondered if he should be worried about Mr. Munson having a temper.

“Of course,” he cautiously retreated. “I just assumed, since I've never seen you at the school before, sir, that you might not be aware of what exactly he has to deal with in here.”

“Maybe you should do less assuming, then,” Mr. Munson answered bluntly. “You think I should be at the school more? Drop Eddie here in the mornin', come pick him up in the afternoon, all that?”

Scott wondered if Mr. Munson was mocking him.

“Well, I think it might be good for Eddie if –”

“You know why I ain't never at the school? 'Cause I'm tryin' my damned best to keep that boy's stomach filled. When should I be at the school, exactly, between my day shift at the quarry and my night shift at the plant?”

“I – I'm sorry,” Scott backpedaled. Suddenly, the frown lines in the tired face of the man in front of him had gotten a different meaning. “I didn't know. You're right, I shouldn't have made assumptions.”

“Look, I dunno how much he shared with you, Mr. Clarke, but I know he looks up to you. So I think you should know that he's the kinda kid who got in trouble at home for bein' “too sensitive.”” He shot Scott a meaningful glance. “Boy was cryin' to me on the phone, 'cause of what his daddy did to him, so I picked him up and drove him here and I made it my mission, as his uncle, to protect him, to shield him, and to take care of him as best as I possibly can.”

Scott had always prided himself on being a good judge of character. He wondered if he had ever been more wrong about somebody before in his life.

“I know he thinks highly of you, Sir,” Mr. Munson continued. “And I'm very grateful that you're keepin' an eye on him when I can't. But at some point, he may trust you with some very personal information about himself, and you better have his back when he does.”

He knows, Scott realized with a shock. He tried to give Mr. Munson a reassuring smile, but his heart was beating in his throat with what he was about to tell him.

“I was a sensitive kid, myself, Sir. I promise you Eddie is in good hands with me.”

Scott wondered whether Mr. Munson caught the message in those words while a long silence stretched out. Their gazes were locked: Mr. Munson's eyes were bright blue, completely different from Eddie's but just as expressive. His gaze softened while the seconds passed and underneath his graying beard, his mouth twitched.

“I was a sensitive kid, too,” he eventually said.

And Scott's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. This man, with his big calloused hands and his trucker's hat and his undeniably manly demeanor?

His feelings of astonishment must have been visible on his face, because Mr. Munson chortled softly.

“Didn't see that one coming, did ya?”

Scott laughed, too, making the last bit of residual tension between them disappear. “I'm sorry, Mr. Munson. I had no idea.”

“'S okay,” Mr. Munson said. “'s good to know that Eddie has someone lookin' out for him here. Um –” He scraped his throat. “I um...” He abruptly averted his gaze back to his lap again, where his fingers were nervously fumbling with the cap he was holding between his hands.

“I always make Eddie dinner,” he finally said. “'S one of the few things I can do for him, y'know. It'd probably be better for me if I took a quick nap 'tween my jobs, but it's the only time of the day we got together. I'm not much of a cook, but I try to get him to eat somethin' healthy and warm, and we talk about stuff, whatever it is he wants to talk about. So um... If you ever wanna join us – that is, if you don't mind comin' to the trailer park... We don't have much, but I'm sure we can fit another chair 'round the table. I think it could be good for Eddie.”

Scott could barely believe what was happening. To think that only a few minutes ago, he had been worried about this man having a temper or being neglectful towards his nephew...

Wayne Munson was shy and soft-spoken and he loved Eddie with a passion that sparked a fierce protectiveness. And after having Scott judge him based on the way he looked and a bunch of false assumptions, he showed him nothing but genuine goodness.

He felt his lips bend into a smile more authentic than he'd been able to give in a while.

“I'd love to join you sometime,” he told Mr. Munson. “For Eddie – but I also wouldn't mind getting to know you better,” he added in a sudden spur or braveness.

And he could swear that something suspiciously like a smile matching his own was hiding beneath Mr. Munson's beard.

[fernlessbastard]

So, what's the deal with this tnt duo art?

I've explained it in my reblog of this post, but I've decided to copy this over to a brand new post as well, because especially with qsmp happening I'm sure we have many newer people here who don't get what's the deal with this piece

Ok so first off: the artist is _olga.exe_ on Instagram (I think also on twitter but i don't use Twitter so you'll have to check that one yourself)

To the best of my understanding this art just came out around June 2021, which was immediately after the first Revivedbur/Quackity interaction. The first two or so months the ship was exclusively seen as a crack ship - I'm not fully certain why, I think it's just that quackbur before wasn't all that known and popular, so it seemed like it came out of nowhere to the majority of the internet (which, it didn't, holy shit, those sluts have been so gay with each other for so long). It also was a time when most people only began realising that ccQuackity was capable of serious lore, which most likely added to how the ship was seen. Even I myself actually was very hesitant to bring it up to my partner, when I began slowly getting into it - of course while simultaneously deluding myself that it's nothing more than a crack ship for me (@octobre-ackedia oh would you look at how we ended up--).

This art was one of the first pieces that were fully serious, and couldn't be construed in any way shape or form as /p, so it got picked up by people on twitter and memed on. Around September 2021 tntblr began reclaiming it (and if I remember correctly we had a boom of posts sharing the original artist about that time).

In this surge of new people beginning to ship those two that's been happening for the past year or so, I need you all to remember that quackbur started off first as a very underground ship that almost no-one spoke of, and then became a crack ship. The header on my blog doesn't come from a "ha ha funny" self deprecating meme. #twquackburshipping was a tag that someone seriously used to tag a post about how Eret commented on some tntduo/r tiktok.

I get how easy it is to forget how anti-mainstream of a ship quackbur used to be (or simply miss that, if you're newer - which, for the record, no shame, I'm happy to see the new faces!), considering ccQuackity's endorsement of it in the last months of dsmp, not to mention what's happening on qsmp, but all those "omg I'm a quackbur shipper ha ha don't hate me ha I'm cringe I know" jokes used to genuinely not be jokes something like 1,5 years ago.

I hope this explains it thoroughly, and to everyone a little bit newer to the ship: welcome! Glad to see you here, remember to have fun, and if you've got any questions, feel free to ask me :]]

[1for5]

yes im changing

paige bueckers x reader

(paige x uconn psychology student!reader)

synopsis: with y/n being in a new environment, still facing rejection, how can she bounce back?

masterlist

chapter 5

the previous week was hell for y/n. she got to finish interviewing all the members part of the men’s and women’s basketball team. she plans on having study sessions with the team members starting next week. aubrey has been noticing dark circle’s under y/n’s eyes, and she’s growing concered.

it was a saturday night, and aubrey was going out to hang with the team, when she went out of here room, she saw y/n locked in with her research. she saw a glimpse of the introduction.

university of connecticut, in short uconn, is known for many achievements in their curriculars, and especially in basketball. according to previous research, many have grown fond of basketball due to university of connecticut, with many championship titles being brought to their home at storrs.

basketball in uconn is more popular than ever. with this, the researcher aims to see the difference of the resilience of these student athletes from the basketball teams of uconn. according to..

“girl thats dope, but you have been reviewing this introduction for the longest time. you need a break, your eyebags are telling you to do so.” aubrey said. “i just want a good grade.. so im eligible to transfer to stanford.” y/n replies nonchalantly.

“that is true, but you need to loosen up for now y/n. you have done a lot. im hanging out with the team today, you should really come so i wouldn’t have to worry about my teammate finishing cans of red bull. thats bad for you!” aubrey proposes. “i dont think i can..” y/n declines.

“im not taking no for an answer, so come into your room and put nice clothes on. i can wait for you” aubrey drags y/n out of her chair and brings her to the girl’s room.

“fine”

after 30 minutes, the roommates finally arrived to the destination: a steakhouse. it’s tradition for the team to eat at their favorite steakhouse at every start of the school year. the team may bring their friends and significant others to this gathering, but they all keep in mind to keep this gathering not too big and still quite intimate.

“hi y/n!!!” the team greets her, aubrey signaling her to sit beside nika and her. nika turned to y/n, and asked more personal questions about her life. they only got to talk during the interviews, and nika was genuinely willing to be friends with y/n.

they got more comfortable with each other, they found out they both liked rock climbing, building legos, and had mystery movies as their comfort movies.

while talking, one member of the team, kk, got curious. “so.. what’s the deal between aubrey and y/n? we didn’t know that y/n would be here, but don’t worry boo we’re all glad you’re here” kk asked.

everyone except for one

“oh nooo. y/n and i arent like that. yeah we’re roommates and we got close to each other but she’s not my type, don’t even know if she’s for the girls! i brought her here since she’s been too deep into her research. she needs to eez down” aubrey declined the allegation, y/n agreeing to her.

“only answer this if your comfortable with it but.. are you for the girls?” kk’s curiousity got stronger. “oh no its fine kk! yeah i am gay, just dont have a label. but i have never had a girlfriend before” y/n answered with a smile.

“OOOOH!” kk and the others exclaimed. “so what are you looking for in a partner? we could hook you up!” ice asked.

“i want my personal athletic or active, i dont know, they just have that aura. i also want my person to be quite smart.. i dont know guys its just attractive to me! and i hope theyre love language is words of affirmation. im a sucker for that” y/n shamefully answers.

“you know y/n, maybe your just talking about me” kk teased. “NOOOO”s and “EEEWWW”s were said after that, laughter all around.

after a wonderful night and dinner, it was time to head to an open basketball court. the uconn team loves to hoop after a good night out. its their only time to really have fun with their sport, no rules or anything. the steakhouse was just walking distance to the court, hence the team leaving their cars first at the parking area.

as they go into the court, y/n was smiling with the rest of the team, until she sees paige. paige gave her an eye roll, which made y/n feel quite annoyed and uncomfortable.

the rest of the team wanted to see y/n play, so she did, she was against paige, qadence, nika, and ice. y/n was having fun, but whenever she makes in contact with the ball and paige was beside her, paige kept on nudging her and slightly hitting her. paige was rough, which was not usual for her especially when they were just playing for fun.

the others felt paige’s competitiveness, and it didn’t feel right. kk calmed paige down. “paige whats your problem? she doesn’t play. that was foul” kk asked. paige just scoffed and ignored kk. kk was for sure that paige was hiding something, and she would have to ask next time when paige is more open to talk about it.

the team decided to call it a day. while they were walking back to the parking area, paige was dribbling a basketball, and started to throw it up— which led to another “accident.”

the ball goes forward and hits y/n again, but this time it was on her shoulder. y/n looked back to see who threw the ball, only to see that it was the blonde once again.

“what the fuck is your problem?”

[biasbuck]

BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fraturdays

Happy weekend everyone! So many loose ends tied up....except *eyes* oh I'm loving the season so far. Back with more fic that I've read and loved this week, with a mix of short one shots and longer stories. As always you can find previous rec lists here. Some light spoilers for the season.

19 October 2024

I did think, let’s go about this slowly by @pelorsdyke is a short and insightful peek into Karen's mindset at the start of hers and Hen's relationship, as she overcomes her own fears of adhering to stereotype and committing too hard and too fast. But she finds a way to balance her heart's wants with her mind's eye, and find a intimacy she can build on along the way.

I didn't know (that it could be good) by @rainbow-nerdss 'Eddie lets himself into Buck's apartment unannounced, and finds him in a compromising position. That should be nothing, just something to laugh about down the line, except afterwards, it's like a switch has flipped, and neither of them can get it out of their minds. The solution? They need to get it out of their systems.' Best friends that secretly hook up and don't question it because it feels good and that's their favourite person and nothing has to change right? trope my beloved. God this fic is absolutely swoonworthy, and I'm still giving it hearteyes for days. Do yourself a favour and read it right now.

please, please, please by @bookinit02 'So, a widower walks into a bar, and he hasn’t been held by someone he loves in years.' A touch starved Eddie starving for Buck's touch in particular! In which Buck subconsciously stops casually touching Eddie after he comes out, and Eddie notices and is not happy about it. Circa S7/S8, they soon set out to resolve the issue. Such a great exploration of a complicated yearning, and then I particularly loved their flirtatious bickering in this fic because it was so very very them and endearing as hell.

kerosene by @roguebuck is almost the flipside...a post 7x06 fic starting from the wedding, in which Buck isn't sure why 'nothing's going to change' unsettles him so much and why he can't get Eddie out of his head...even at the most inopportune times. But sometimes all it takes to make a change is for someone to pour the gas and light a match...and this fic sure does that!

the city is a jungle and i’m a beast by @putanauhere just in time for canon!werewolf Eddie, this is such a brilliant fic that really immersed me in the story, and was so well thought out to make the werewolf lore fit into 911verse smoothly. Eddie and his platoon were bit by a werewolf during his time in the army, and so as long as he's been with the 118 he's been keeping a secret. When a call to a magick shop goes awry, Buck's infodumping on the habits of wolves meets Eddie's reluctance to concede to superstition...but he's mostly desperate to hide. When Buck follows him to his safe house, things soon go awry, and together they must learn to live with the consequences. Perfect spooky season fic, and really emotional as well.

Any Other Way by @cal-daisies-and-briars I have been meaning to read this for weeks and am so glad I finally have! This is a fic where Eddie and Buck's lives take on each other's paths - an unattached and openly gay Eddie going on an aimless teenage wanderlust after his high school girlfriend left suddenly, and Buck signing up to the army to spite his parents. Then one day Eddie runs into Shannon at the grocery store...with a young boy at her side. This is a really wonderful fic about a lifechanging secret and stepping up to parenthood, overcoming fears and letting your guard down. I loved how despite the narrative switcheroo, their motivations remain true to themselves and their family at the core.

the sound of the saw (must be known by the tree) by @absolutelybifurious a fic inspired by the last episode of Grey's Anatomy I ever watched lmao. Eddie blames himself for Chris leaving, but Buck is frustrated that the time has stretched out so long, and is encouraging him to go get him. But Eddie doesn't want to hear it and they part on rocky ground with Eddie boarding a plane to El Paso for some wildfire training. When Buck receives a voicemail, the world shifts from under his feet, and the 118 race to save Eddie. This was passionate and angsty and the love sings off the page.

See you next week, trick or treat!!

[corrodedbisexual]

Helping hands (& nails)

Steddie | T | ~5.3k | AO3 link

Written for @steddie-week Day 2: hands

Featuring: Fluff and Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Homoerotic Wound Care, Flirting, First Kiss, Inexperienced Eddie Munson, Gay Eddie Munson, Confident Bisexual Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Eddie Munson Takes Care of Steve Harrington, Post-Stranger Things 4 Vol. 2, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, POV Steve Harrington

“You literally want me to scratch your back.” Steve groans. “Yes. Definitely, do that. Please.” “Hmm, I love it when they beg.” Steve freezes, speechless for a second. His face suddenly feels several degrees warmer. “Oh my god, shit, sorry, that was—” Eddie begins mumbling awkwardly, moving away, and Steve won’t have it. “Dude, you mind not flirting with me while I’m suffering here?”

It’s a little over a week since Vecna got defeated, and Steve’s got an uninvited guest at his house.

Uninvited is not the same as unwelcome, obviously. Frankly, Steve’s glad to have some company. Really glad. Although technically, Eddie Munson is still supposed to be on bed rest.

Doctor’s orders were two weeks; the demobats got the guy pretty roughed up, taking several juicy bites out of his torso before they all went down along with their master. He got patched up pretty quickly, but his overall weakened state from massive blood loss, the doctors’ concerns of infection and possible Upside Down creature-related consequences, and that annoying little matter of clearing him of the ridiculous murder charges all kept Eddie on a government-sealed floor of the hospital for a whole week, with no visitors allowed.

It’s no wonder that when he was finally discharged to go home, he lasted three whole days before showing up on Steve’s doorstep, unceremoniously inviting himself in and complaining about being so bored he was about to start clawing at the walls of his bedroom.

And, well… It’s Steve’s day off anyway, and his entire planned entertainment for the day was a potential lunch phone call from Robin to gossip and complain about how impossible Kieth is to survive a shift with.

Plus, at least it’s better if Eddie hangs out at his place instead of going out somewhere and doing something stupid that would get him to pop his stitches. Like climbing a tree. Steve hasn’t known Eddie for long, but in a way, he’s known enough to suspect something like that might happen.

But the best part is, Eddie Munson turns out to be really good company. For the first few minutes after the guy arrived, Steve’s a bit worried it would be quiet and awkward; after all, what did they have in common besides the whole Upside Down trauma (definitely not a fun conversation topic)? But the idea that it could be quiet with Eddie around turns out to be absolutely laughable. The guy keeps chatting about anything and everything, from how annoying it is to keep track of all the meds he’s supposed to take to random gossip from the trailer park. He’s vibrant and chaotic, and has a dry deadpan sense of humor that Steve finds himself genuinely laughing at; and pretty soon, he starts wondering if him and Eddie could actually be friends back in high school if the whole ridiculous system of social circles didn’t exist.

Halfway through some other half-finished thought, Eddie suddenly asks, “You hungry? I’m kinda starving, Wayne’s getting groceries tonight and the only option I had for breakfast was, I shit you not, a fucking box of Honeycombs, and honestly? I’d rather eat a demobat. Well, if it was cooked, maybe. Hey, d’you think roasted demobats could be a thing?”

He keeps rambling as he walks, with Steve trailing behind him, grinning and shaking his head because… well, damn. This guy sure is something else. Maybe exactly the kinda something Steve didn’t even know he needed in his life. Honestly, he’d probably say the same thing about Robin last year. Is this some profound universal balance thing? Out of something horrible must come something really good?

Read on AO3 | Divider credit

[dancermk]

HELLO MY FELLOW TRAVELERS!

I, like many viewers, have been completely entranced by Hawk and Tim’s love story in Fellow Travelers. As a mature queer person, this show has been very emotional, and I am deeply invested. (I WILL riot if Tim doesn’t get to die in Hawk’s arms, and know that he is, and has always been, loved by Hawk.) But I digress.

Something that I have been fascinated by are the differing opinions that have surfaced about the characters, especially Hawk. I’m not looking for any arguments here, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is simply mine. To me, Hawk falls hard and fast for Tim. He breaks all his own rules for Tim - they topple over like a house of cards.

When we are introduced to Hawk, he’s cold and heartless with the men he hooks up with - they are nothing more than a body to fulfil his sexual needs and desires. He doesn’t do repeats and he doesn’t bring them home. But Tim, he instantly begins returning to, gets him a job, then allows him into his own apartment, etc. When Tim pushes back, Hawk relents further, letting him in emotionally, sharing parts of his past, crossing lines by introducing him to others in his circle, and so on.

Hawk is a traumatised man, carrying guilt and anger and shame, and a bucket load of fear! Yes, he has some internalised homophobia, but interestingly, he’s also extremely righteous about his homosexuality -and I don’t believe he thinks being gay is wrong in any way. (His response to his father is indicative of this).

I can personally say that I’ve never thought it was wrong to be queer, yet I spent much of my life hiding who I was and feeling shame. It’s an odd thing! Perhaps it is that the shame forms purely from what is outside of us, while what is inside of us can love another person of the same sex, knowing it is right and pure. Perhaps these contradictions between self and society are what causes so much pain and conflict?

But back to Hawk. Hawk is undoubtedly most affected by his teenage first love experience. A love that he fucked up through his own fears (fear for many men is unacceptable and a sign of weakness), and now carries the burden of believing he is responsible for their death. Hawk doesn’t allow himself to love again, until Tim. And we see many times throughout the show how much Hawk fears losing Tim. And in the end he’ll have to face that fear. I think that, in part, not attempting to have a life with Tim, is also fuelled by his fear of fucking it up and losing Tim - so it’s easier to just not attempt it! In episode 7, when he loses his son, part of that spiral is Hawk recognising that he can’t really prevent loss, and he wasted his life trying to be something he’s not - still losing his child and Tim along with it.

But Hawk is a survivor! And no one has the right to hate or judge him for it. I don’t think some young people truly understand what it feels like to live in a world where who you love can put you in jail, and destroy your life. I grew up in the 70s/80s and my experiences were bad enough, but I try so very hard to think about what it was like before that! When being queer was a crime and a mental illness! That’s pure terror! And for Hawk, he chose to survive the best way he knew how, and he wasn’t able to change because that’s fucking hard when all you’ve known is living in constant ‘fight or flight,’ and when have chronic trauma and experience collective trauma.

I think in episode 8 we’ll finally get to see Hawk grow - I certainly hope so - because he deserves to be free. Our beautiful Skippy has been free for some time, and while we mourn for the cruelty of a world that would take such a truly decent man, I am glad he got to live freely. Being closeted is the worst kind of suffering- a compartmentalised and fragmented existence where you are never truly whole, and therefore can never be the best version of yourself.

Before I go, I just wanted to also talk about being in a closeted relationship-which I experienced in my youth. I think that Hawk and Tim’s intense and toxic and exquisitely beautiful relationship, in part, arises from this. Because two closeted people in love live their relationship in secret, in a bubble, only in certain rooms, with none of the outside world reflected back at them. It becomes the two of you against the world. It’s so insular. Hawk and Tim literally live their 1950s relationship within two rooms - their apartments. All their memories are held within those walls. And it only belongs to them. They know each in ways that no other living soul does. It’s all-consuming and often unhealthy, but also stupidly romantic.

Anyway, sorry for this long winded post that no one will read and is likely full of grammatical errors because I’m tired! This atheist is praying we get everything we need from episode 8! Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding resolution, healing and a whole lot of love! ❤️

Cheers queers! 🏳️‍🌈

PS Matt and Johnny are exquisite on and off screen and I am so thankful to them for bringing these characters and this story into our lives!

[wisecrackingeric-2]

LONG ASS MESSAGE UNDER CUT!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS A MASSIVE THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!!! I’ll tag everyone whose made a star for this drawing in the replies- if I’ve missed anyone or if you wanna be added, PLEASE LET KNOW!!!!!!!

At the time of writing this, there’s about 40 minutes let of 2023, and I’m VERY DETERMINED to get this posted before 2024 so I am in a bit of a rush so alas, this may not be as well-written as I’d like it to be but that’s the price I must pay alas HDNEHENEJDN

I wanna start this by saying I’ve always had a lot of anxieties surrounding the New Years, and things changing- even just seeing posts that were from the year prior always seems to give me anxiety. Things change, people move on, while I stay with the same interests- it’s always been something I’ve struggled with, but making this has helped me come to terms with all of that and I’m glad.

Theres no better words I can say right now other than; Thank You. Thank you so, so, SO much to my friends, both new and old- my friends who’ve been here since the very beginning and have stuck by me through this whole rollercoaster- and to all of my new friends, who it sometimes feels like I’ve known you all for at LEAST five years and not like, five months or something HDBWHNWUDNDHDJS thank you to everyone who has ever been kind to me, supported me and enjoyed what I’ve created- I’ve recieved probably the kindest words I’ve ever heard in my entire life this year. Thank you to the people who stuck by me when times got tough and helped me through my own seemingly very insignificant or silly problems HDNEJENSK

This year has easily been one of the best years of my life. 2022, to keep it short, was awful- I came out as a Transgender gay man to my parents and it went awful. I was dealing with the worst mental health of my entire life and there were times it felt like there was no hope. On top of all of that, my childhood dog passed away- so all and all, I wasn’t looking forward to the future. But my loving partner introduced me to Resident Evil, and as a result the community as a whole- and to say it changed my life would be an understatement.

I know it’s obviously no secret that I have a favourite character, Luis Serra Navarro- but to say his character has changed me as a person for the better would also be a MASSIVE understatement. I’ve never ever in my entire life resonated with a character so profoundly before- as a queer and trans man, I saw myself reflected in his performance, and that means more to me than words can even describe. His character encapsulated me in a way no other has done before, and genuinely helped me accept my autism, my queerness and my trans identity as a good thing- I could write absolutely ESSAYS on his character and I have. I’ve consumed more Don Quixote media than I think I ever would have otherwise HDNEHENEJD and to say I’ve genuinely become a more confident and happier person because of his character would, again, be SUCH an understatement. It’s truly hard to describe how much he means to me, but I hope my words give a good idea.

For the first time in a very, very long time, I get to look forward to my future. I don’t see my Queerness or my Trans identity as a setback anymore; I have things to look forward to, plans I’ve made and a future I can look towards. And I cannot thank my friends- all of you know who you are- André and Andrea and everyone in my life and this small little community I’ve unintentionally formed for giving me that opportunity. Words will never be able to describe how grateful I truly am, but I hope this is close enough.

Thank you for letting me fully indulge in my autism and enjoy Luis’ character to the fullest. I’ve never felt happier enjoying something in my entire life.

Thank you everyone. For everything. May you all successfully defeat your own windmills <3

[grungeprincess2]

Kurt Cobain Quotes

1. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

2. Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

3. Friends are nothing but a known enemy.

4. Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.

5. If my eyes could show my soul, everyone would cry when they saw me smile.

6. I am definitely a feminist. I'm f--king disgusted by the way women are still treated. It's 1993 and some people still think we're in 1950s. We need to make more progress. There needs to be more female musicians, more female artists, more female writers. Everything is dominated by f--king males and I'm sick of it!

7. Thank you for the tragedy. I need it for my art.

8. Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with with your self-esteem. They're no good at all.

9. We're so trendy we can't even escape ourselves.

10. I definitely feel closer to the feminine side of the human being than I do the male - or the American idea of what a male is supposed to be. Just watch a beer commercial and you'll see what I mean.

11. I mean, I’m definitely gay in spirit, and I probably could be bisexual. But I’m married, and I’m more attracted to Courtney [Love] than I ever have been toward a person, so there’s no point in trying to sow my oats at this point. [Laughs] If I wouldn't have found Courtney, I probably would have carried on with a bisexual lifestyle.

12. Ever since the beginning of rock and roll, there's been an Axl Rose. And it's just boring. It's totally boring to me.

13. I thought I would try to be gay for a while, but I'm just more sexually attracted to women. But I'm really glad that I found a few gay friends, because it totally saved me from becoming a monk or something.

14. If any of you, in any way, hate homosexuals, people of a different color or women, please do this one favor for us—leave us the fuck alone. Don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records.

15. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape. Go to the source and start there.

16. The duty of youth is to challenge corruption.

17. We’re not as popular as everyone thinks, and we’re not as rich as everyone thinks.

18. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life.

19. Punk is musical freedom. It’s saying, doing, and playing what you want.

20. Words suck. I mean, everything has been said. Words aren’t as important as the energy derived from music, especially live.

21. I'm a spokesman for myself. It just so happens that there's a bunch of people that are concerned with what I have to say. I find that frightening at times because I'm just as confused as most people. I don't have the answers for anything.

22. Holding my baby is the best drug in the world.

23. No one is afraid of heights, they’re afraid of falling down. No one is afraid of saying I love you, they’re afraid of the answer.

24. I use bits and pieces of others’ personalities to form my own.

25. If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got.

26. I just can’t believe anyone would start a band just to make the scene and be cool and have chicks. I just can’t believe it.

27. To be positive at all times is to ignore all that is important, sacred and valuable. To be negative at all times is to be threatened by ridiculousness and instant discredibility.

28. You can’t buy happiness.

30. Nobody dies a virgin. Life f***s us all.

31. Music is energy. A mood, atmosphere. Feeling.

33. If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

34. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too f****** sad.

35. I have to admit I’ve found myself doing the same things that a lot of other rock stars do or are forced to do. Which is not being able to respond to mail, not being able to keep up on current music, and I’m pretty much locked away a lot. The outside world is pretty foreign to me.

36. I really miss being able to blend in with people.

37. It’s better to burn out than fade away.

38. God is gay

[palskippah]

Hellowi pretty people I come over to ramble about random Nimona projects and stuff bc I'm excited about them but nothing's finished

I'm writing a short thing for fun with the idea of Ambrosius getting hearing loss because of the explosion that made Nimona and the laser and I'm listening to songs to see if I get inspo for the title (so far the doc is called 'Ambrosius gets hearing damage' but that's not cool JSKSHD), and listening to Mistki I was like omg a fic called Why Not Me. But then I was like omg a fic regarding Nimona and her monster form with the title 'I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down' but then I was like no omg what about a fic about comic goldenheart with the title 'I always want you when I'm finally fine'

I have no idea what qualifies as a good lyrics title but I think they work

And I literally have no ideas besides a phrase and the vibes for it, and still got no title for the temporarily deaf Ambrosius thing but it's so fun to do this sjdkdj (also, I really like the headcanon of him getting permanent but parcial (?) hearing loss on the ear that was closest to the explosion, it makes sense) (also I've experienced some partial hearing loss (?) at some point earlier this year and it's just so not fun to go through that bc people get very mad at you when you need them to repeat themselves more than twice and ask them to be louder pipipi anyways everything keeps happening around him and Ambrosius doesn't catch half of it and he feels a bit too helpless and scared of not hearing again but it works out in the end (more or less))

I see why everyone always picks lyrics as title names they're so coolest also mistki's songs are so good 😔🙏 they make me sad and happy at the same time sjddj

Another thing that has a long way to go and I'm trying to find a title for is an au of the gay dads au with mpreg where Ballister is from the beginning Nimona's dad and Ambrosius is that ex that by chance slowly makes his way back to his life and accidentally becomes Nimona's stepdad (like in Look Who's Talking? I think sjdkdj) also Meredith's there and she's cool and doing her own thing, I'm glad I read the comic bc I changed her relationship with Ballister in the fic and I think it works better with his decisions and motivations and all that stuff

(in my head it's very epic but to you it may seem like anything JSKDH)

Ballister is not really having a good time (lonely, unsure about his decision, scared and stuff, especially when he has to have her) but he has his good moments, promise. Also he hugs Meredith and she pats his back awkwardly like in the comic, at some point

Also as soon as Ballister finds out that Nimona's a girl he gets many very pink clothes pipipi Ambrosius gets him pink stuff for her too bc he sees any cute baby clothes or accessories and he's like hey I bet Ballister would like this for his baby :) and buys it

Nimona doesn't like him much when she's born, and he's like aw c'mon :( I bought you so many gifts pipipi I helped fold your tiny little clothes that one time !! (Ballister points out that he had done a very shitty job at it and Ambrosius shushes him, covering Nimona's ears)

ALSO

I'm drawing stuff for a TikTok post about mpreg but for comic goldenheart and trying to make the comic plot fit into it and it's so silly bc they have nothing to do with one another.

Ambrosius and Ballister don't beat the shit out of each other at the bar but Ballister goes away all angrily while Ambrosius walks behind him going Ballister I'm not done talking to you !!! >:(

And Ballister's like I am !! >:( and then there's another drawing of him leaning against a wall with one hand going damnit because he overworked himself, and Ambrosius going all *touching his hands together nervously* do you need to sit down :(? And Ballister going ...no. fuck off.

Also Nimona telling him to just abort that thing when he first told her (and he hadn't known yet what to do about it), and then when Cyrus' born he's staring angrily at her (he's not, he's just newly born and scrunched) and Nimona's like, holy shit boss, he remembers 😟 and Ballister's like, ?? How's he gonna remember, he doesn't even know you.

Also Ballister getting sad about the discussion at the bar and Nimona cheering him up with the science fair, but him going this won't trick anybody, look at me😔 *gestures to his pregnant self* and Nimona's like, nah boss you just look like you got a beer gut, it'll work. How they manage to run away from the guards/knights and all that when Nimona's stuck in cat form, that's not my business 🧐

Also Cyrus is born sometime before the whole Ballister freaking out about Nimona's powers, so he's somewhere in the kingdom being babysat by a nice older lady or something when Nimona's part is destroying everything. Or maybe he's just peacefully sleeping very far away in the lair and Ballister goes around the whole thing with a baby monitor, whichever option works. (Neither does 😭)

So yeah yippie I wanna post this stuff but nothing's finished pipipi 😔

[munson-blurbs]

@corrodedcoffinfest Day 10: Pride

Word Count: 940/Rating: T/Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader/CW: coming out, part of the Trapped Under Ice universe but can stand alone/Tags: Eddie Munson, Reader (Ms. Sweetheart), Harris Munson, Hendrix Munson, Gareth, Jeff, Grant, Will Byers, pride parade

Divider credit to @silkholland

June 2015

“Hey, Sweetheart?” Eddie calls out to you from the kitchen, his phone in hand. “Will just sent me a text message–gay marriage is now legal in the whole country.” 

You turn on the TV as quickly as you could, MSNBC broadcasting the good news. Rainbow flags billow in the wind as the sounds of people cheering nearly drown out the reporter’s voice.

“Finally.” It’s taken long enough, the back-and-forth deliberating seemingly lasting forever. 

Your husband patters into the family room, snaking an arm around you as you watch the story unfold. “Apparently there’s gonna be this big celebration downtown tomorrow. Think Pride, like, jacked up to the max.” He presses a kiss to your temple. “Will wants to know if Corroded Coffin wants to play.”

There’s no need to ask him his opinion; you already know the answer. 

“Can I go?” A soft, small voice asks from the doorway. You and Eddie look up to see Hendrix, still in pajama pants and eyes hazy with sleep. It never fails to amaze you how easily teenagers can sleep the day away, even after going through it with Harris.

Eddie grins. “You wanna see your old man in action?” He doesn’t notice his youngest son’s anxious expression, typing back his response to Will. 

Something’s wrong–you can tell by the way Hendrix isn’t teasing Eddie for typing with one pointer finger.

“Hen? Everything okay?”

“Y-Yeah. Just, um,” He looks down at the ground. “It’s not that I don’t wanna see Dad perform, but I also wanna go because I…I like guys. And girls, too, but definitely also guys.”

The sound of the iMessage swooping into cyberspace is the only noise in the room. 

“So…you’re bisexual?” Eddie glances between you and Hendrix. “That’s the right term, right?”

Hendrix laughs despite his nerves. “Yeah, that’s it.” 

“Cool.” Eddie turns to you. “Should we make this a family affair, then? See if Harris wants to come?”

You smile, already digging into your pocket for your own phone. “Sounds good.”

“Wait, you’re–you’re okay with this?” Hendrix raises his eyebrows in disbelief. ”You don’t hate me?”

“Hate you?” Eddie shakes his head, kissing Hendrix’s scalp. “Bud, I didn’t hate you after you finger-painted on my guitar when you were a toddler. I’m certainly not gonna hate you for liking boys.”

You pull Hendrix in for a hug, squeezing tight. “We’re glad you told us. And we’ll always love you.”

The tension leaves his body, tears of relief slipping down his cheeks. The three of you stand there in quiet introspection, your son basking in the warmth of acceptance.

The sun’s rays permeate light through white clouds, heating the back of your neck. Hendrix stands to your left, Harris beside him. Harris, who has apparently known about his brother’s sexuality for months now and kept it a secret until Hendrix gave him the all-clear.

“Not to brag,” Harris said to you and Eddie on the car ride to the celebration, “but I was the first person he came out to.”

You and your sons watch Will take the microphone, your veins thrumming with excitement as he introduces Corroded Coffin. 

But the stage is suddenly occupied by four women. 

The woman sporting a baby pink turtleneck tank top and a black leather miniskirt leans into the mic. When she speaks, your jaw drops. 

“We’re Corroded Coffin, and this song goes out to everyone who’s ever needed to break free.”

That’s Eddie’s voice. 

And as the band begins playing their first song, you realize exactly what’s happening. 

I want to break free  I want to break free  I want to break free from your lies  You're so self satisfied, I don't need you  I've got to break free

“Oh, my God!” Harris cackles, adjusting his earplugs. “They’re doing the Queen video!”

Sure enough, Gareth is wearing a button-down and a skirt, Jeff is donning a pink negligee, and Grant is dressed in a black dress with a matching hat. 

Next to you, Hendrix buries his face in his hands. “This is worse than him hating me, I think,” he mumbles. 

Harris shakes his brother’s shoulders. “C’mon, Hen!” He cheers. “You gotta break free.”

“Kill me. Kill me now.” Hendrix turns to you in a silent plea for help. 

“No can do.” You smile, grabbing his hands and yours to initiate a shuffling dance. 

Reluctantly, Hendrix gives in, swaying his body to the music. He twirls you around, eyes crinkling with laughter as you struggle to turn on the pavement. 

Corroded Coffin continues playing, fully leaning into their drag personas, though it’s clear that the guys are struggling to balance in their heels. At one point, Grant nearly teeters over, and Eddie puts out a hand to balance him. 

I've fallen in love I've fallen in love for the first time  And this time I know it's for real I’ve fallen in love, yeah

“I can’t believe Dad’s doing all of this,” Hendrix muses. 

“We love you, Hen.” You tell him. “Nothing will ever change that.”

You spin him towards Harris, the older brother pulling the younger into an exaggerated waltz. 

From the stage, Eddie throws you a wink as he sings:

God knows

God knows I’ve fallen in love

One day, you think, your sons will find people who make them feel complete. And maybe Hendrix’s person will be a man, maybe a woman. 

The crowd shrieks wildly when Jeff plays his solo, negligee billowing in the wind. 

Hendrix laughs so hard he snorts. Your beautiful, youngest boy, always leading with his heart on his sleeve. 

Whoever Hendrix loves, you hope they love him back with everything they have. 

--

[v3nusxsky]

Darling talk to me| H&C

*A/n~ this idea has me willing to sit here and not move till it releases its chokehold on me. God I absolutely adore writing for Larissa she's an absolute angel with a protective streak for those important to her and don't forget everyone at Nevermore. Her strength is unmatched. ~proceeding to gay panic over Larissa~ I'm so late to posting this but life is a pain sometimes. okay read on my little doves*

~Second authors note~ from the drafts requests are coming guys, sorry I had some shit happen today

Tw~ assault implied (aftermath bruises mentioned)

Prompt~ number 28 on my prompt list ~ "who did this to you" requested by Abi1468~ wattpad

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Teaching children was always the dream. It took years to decide what subject. Each held a special place in your heart. But one day it just clicked. Language and spell work is a subject you've always excelled at. Your own sorcery flowing strongly through your veins with every thump of your beating heart. The language part was certainly interesting and the spells normally in a language similar to Latin. Due to this you were fluent in Latin but also a few other languages. Your thirst for knowledge never truly quenched so you found another language to learn.

You were Nevermore's  first ever sorceress to teach but also one of the younger staff members. The students at Nevermore absolutely adored you and your lessons. That was a shock. Really, you'd expected them to moan at how much work it would be , struggle to stay engaged when the languages got tricky and in general dislike how you run the class. But no. You saw your students as friends with all the banter and fun you had every day. Each class unique in their own divine right.

Sorcery sounds amazing for those who don't quite understand the burden. The magic that runs through your body is fulled by emotion. Which means you feel a constant need to be in control all of the time. You can't afford any slip ups. After all one time when you were new to your ability you accidentally grew frustrated at tripping over a branch. Immediately your magic responded setting it on fire. That was actually the first time your power made itself known to you. It was a terrifying moment. Alone and scared and only eleven years old. So now at twenty five, you were glad to be helping the next generation of outcasts, ensuring no one was left alone when their ability showed itself.

With exams rounding the corner you had neglected to make a trip into Jericho. Which is how you found yourself stood in your bathroom glaring at the empty tooth paste tube. You could feel the simmering magic in your bones as you tried to calm your frustrations. It was eleven thirty at night. Extremely inconvenient.

You quickly threw on a hoodie and jogging bottoms before walking into Jericho. A petrol station sat just on the outskirts of the town. You made a mental note to come shopping for everything else tomorrow. The moon lit the path in front of you, it was a gorgeous night really but you'd be lying if you said you didn't want to be back in your nice warm cosy bed. Sighing at the thought you wouldn't return to Nevermore for at least an hour. If only you knew.

The walk to the petrol station was a tranquil experience. It was only once you had secured the damned toothpaste did everything go so drastically wrong. You noticed a group of people tailing you. It made every fibre of your magic tingle. Not a good indication. But still this it is late and it is the last thing you need in your exhausted state. Your magic accidentally attacking some Normie gang because it felt threatened would be problematic to say the least. You needed to remain in control now more than ever. The group started to hurl insults at you, words slurring together showing their drunken state. The whole situation putting your magic on a high alert. Something was wrong. But you had to remain in control. You knew how disappointed your boss turned crush would be if that would occur. So you did your best to calm your magic and continue back to Nevermore but suddenly something went connected with your head. Knocking you out cold.

The first thing your body registers is pain. Everywhere. Your limbs stiff, back flat against the harsh pavement as your mind and body fought to return to their usual state. Your eyelids fluttering rapidly as you finally register the blue sky. Not the onyx sky you remembered. No, this blue was the rival of the bluest ocean. How had it become daylight? Wasn't it just night? What the hell happened? Your body too sore to move, you slowly convince your head to turn to each side. From there you identified the fuzzy outskirts of the grounds of Nevermore. The motivation you needed. You wanted your home and you were going to get it. You heaved your bruised body from the ground and slowly but surely trekked back Nevermore.

Thankfully, you could sneak back to your quarters undetected due to the early hour. After all it was a Saturday and no one would willingly be wondering the halls at this time of morning. As soon as you entered the room you immediately found your bed. Carefully climbing into it and letting your weary body rest. Exhaustion was click to claim you.

A few hours passed and you were now up taking paracetamol to go shopping. Only then did you see the full extent of the damaged. Black and blue splotches adorned your usual ivory skin. What was most concerning was the handprints on either of your thighs. You knew you had to cover this up. No one can know.

No one would known if you didn't drop your keys in the hallway. Larissa catching you in her gaze, she spotted the unusual colour. "Y/n? Can I just borrow you?" Your boss called out to you. Your body instantly complying and taking you to her.

Which is exactly how you landed up sat on the sofa under Larissa's intense watchful gaze. "Darling I must say I love the jumper" which caused a blush to adorn your cheeks. It was an old jumper, purely for comfort but the compliment from Larissa meant everything. "Thank you" you mumbled avoiding her gaze. It was only then when things went wrong. The older women was about to tell you you're welcome and that she meant her compliment however, she moved to place her hand on your leg connecting with a bruise.

You yelped out and instantly moved from the source. Concern flashed over her face. And slowly two and two were put together. "Darling? Why are you covered in bruises?" She hummed trying to keep a gentle tone as not to scare you with her line of intrusive questioning. Immediately you began to deny the fact with gusto that she almost believed you. Almost. "Y/n... I saw them in the hallway, and now when I touched your thigh. What happened darling? You can tell me." Her tone remained light and reassuring which is what made you finally break.

Harsh sobs filled the room as you cried. Cried for the confusion, the pain, and the care this women was extending to you. Your magic reacting to the emotional turmoil began to lash out, knocking books off the shelves and even lighting a roaring fire in the fire pit. If you were calmer you'd appreciate the fact it was the fire pit and not the desk. Clearly your magic wished Larissa no harm. Larissa sprang into action carefully gathering you in her arms. "Oh darling, it's okay, your okay, what happened? You're safe here. It's okay." Was the mantra that was ringing through your ears in her soothing voice.

Really not thinking clearly at all, you sat back and took the jumper off, revealing the blue bruises that littered your body. Only then did you also point to where they remained on your lower body. As you got to your thighs you dropped your hands back to your side and waited. For what? You weren't sure. After all you couldn't remember what had happened to you. All you knew is you hurt. Your body aching with every movement.

The taller women gasped at your display and immediately gathered you back in her arms. How could someone be so capable of that? Who? When? Not her y/n. Well you weren't her y/n, but she wished you'd be. "Y/n darling. Who did this to you?" The older women was so deep in her own swirling thoughts, all she could manage was a whisper.

You broke once more. And began to recount the hellish day and night you'd had. If only you hadn't ran out of toothpaste none of this would've happened. So really you were blaming yourself, I mean who else was there? "Darling, you could've come to me. I would've drove you instead..." she trailed off In thought cradling you as if you were glass.

"I didn't want to bother you. I'm sorry. I should've just waited till the morning. I'm sorry" you mumbled into the women's body. Only now calming slightly. "Oh darling it's okay. It's not your fault. Next time you need to go to Jericho I'll take you myself. I really care for you Y/n.... Do you know the people who did this?"

You shook your head at her question. You truly didn't. But she cared for you. And you knew that later when you had to go back to Jericho that Larissa would be there. All you could do was hope the pair of you didn't bump into that group again. For now though, you're just quite content to be comforted by Larissa. The first time feeling safe in the last twelve hours and it's all due to her. Your protector.

Word count ~ 1675

*A/n~ idk how I feel about this one I may rewrite it with one of my other ideas for this prompt.*