#gives me green goblin vibes

[midnight-raven]

The Black Phone/Superhero AU Idea

There is a secret government initiative that takes in young adults whose lives have been permanently altered by an accident or catastrophic event, leaving them with abilities outside the normal.

The chosen few are trained to control their abilities, and see if they can become more than who they were before.

(Before you read on, let me apologize now. I stink at coming up with superhero names… I’m open to suggestions for change)

SuperNova/Finney Blake

High amongst the stars, Finney had been outside the ISS to work on repairs when the strike of a stray meteor caused the astronaut to become untethered, launching him straight into the heart of a solar storm. Upon returning to Earth, Finney discovered his body had absorbed the energy of the flare, leaving him with a few unexpected after effects .

Oracle/Gwen Blake

Born with the gift of precognition, Gwen works as a consultant detective, using her visions to help catch criminals, find missing people, and even prevent crimes before they happen. Until one night, when Gwens dream depicts a powerful force hiding in the shadows, threatening millions of people. To stop this threat, she and Finney will have to team up with a team of other young heroes.

Stealth/Griffin Stagg

In a private research campus, Griffin was a young intern eager to prove his abilities to his professors and fellow peers. One day, after being accidentally exposed to the fumes of a chemical mix-up, Griffins’ entire body was rendered invisible. With the help of a private facility, Griffin was given a high-tech bodysuit that would make him visible again, as long as he wears it.

Renegade/Billy Showalter

There is a secret program that turns promising young men into weapons of war. One such success is the The Silver Guard, close & far range skills, deadly in combat, and no identity anywhere outside of the program… except in a missing persons report under the name Billy Showalter. After being detained by Homeland Security, Billy was given a chance to seek atonement for his actions and also find the pieces to his stolen life.

WarPath/Vance Hopper

Many years ago, a pair of gauntlets were sent to Earth from a dying alien planet lightyears away to seek a fighter. ‘The Gauntlets of Ares’ named after the mythology warrior, was designed to only be worn by a chosen one and grant them God-like abilities to defend the innocent. No one was more surprised than Vance when the gauntlets chose him as its wielder.

Titani-Man/Bruce Yamada

Bruce once had a bright future and a promising baseball career ahead of him, but it was all taken away when a hit & run accident left his legs paralyzed. Mr Yamada, a skilled mechanical engineer, constructed a special pair of leg braces to restore his son's ability to walk. On his road to recovery, Bruce discovered a new path for his future after constructing his own special suit.

The Defender/Robin Arellano

Robin always protected those who couldn’t defend themselves, and that didn’t change when he enlisted. During his service, Robin and his team were held prisoner by an unknown enemy for over three months. In the end, only Robin made it out. Discharged from the army, Robin pursued a vigilante life, dedicating himself to protecting others by himself until he was given an offer to join a team.

[jihef03]

People are starting to theorize that Gwen is the Goblin and that's mostly for laughs but honestly I'd be down for it.

[hanihazeljade]

Skill Issue

Jason was away when Tim got de-aged. Now, it his turned to be the victim of the incarnation of Janet, Timothy.

pt.2 of Disgustingly Green

(CW: Manipulation, swearing)

Tim avoided the kid that kept on insulting him. He doesn't even apologise to him! Mr. Wayne is so dumb that he doesn't even reprimand that kid and instead he reprimand Tim instead. It is giving Sephora kids vibe.

Tim was now actively avoidinh the living room where the telly is. He likes watching news but the kid was always there petting his cat. And Tim is allergic to cats, that is what his mom told him when he ask for one, so he is glad to have the huge library of the Waynes to himself.

They have a huge collection of non-fiction books and Tim loves it. He was already in fifth book in his weeks of being here! His house never had this types of books, it's just his textbook and the ancient manuscript that his parents like to bring back to their digs. Having this was really heaven.

He is in the page 86 when someone enter the library. He looked over to see if it's the kid or if it's Mr. Butler. But to his surprise it's neither. It is a tall man with a weird white hair strip. Even though he knows it's rude to stare at someone, he stared at the weird man and the weird man stare back at him. It is not a contest but something in Tim has the feeling of "if you look away, you lose" and Tim hates losing.

The weird man breaks the stare first making Tim proud of himself.

"You are too little for an eight-year old, Replacement." The weird man said.

Replacement? Who? Him? Timothy? The audacity to call him a replacement? If Timothy replace him and he might be not good enough then.

Tim smiled, "And you look a lot like a skunk but you don't hear me complain, right?" he said, then he sniffed the air, "And also you smell like one."

"What the fuck, Replacement?"

"Language, Mr. Butler doesn't like swearing." Tim said as he went back to his book.

"Ah nuh uh, this is my place, Replacement."

"I don't see your name anywhere here, Mr. Weird Man." Tim said but not breaking his eye contact on his book.

"I will count to three and if you don't het your ass out of here, I swear to God, Replacement."

"You kept on calling me "Replacement", maybe if you use your little brain of yours, you might find a conclusion that if an eight-year old can replace your big body, you might have a skill issue, but hey, that might be too much for your little brain." Tim shrugged.

"One."

"Try me."

"Two."

"..."

"Three." and with three, Tim's body got flown across the room. Tim was shocked, he can see the weird man smug face, but he can make it to his favour. He pushed out his tears out of his eyes and loudly wailed. Mr. Butler hate to see him sad, he doesn't know why but he can put it in his advantage.

And within 15 seconds of his wailing, Mr. Butler appeared, looking for the boy that was still laying on the floor, cheeks are red and his arms are a little bit bruised. Mr. Butler look at the weird man with a neautral face.

"Alfred, I swear it doesn't what it looks like." The weird man defended himself but Tim is not gonna give him a chance and shouted, "He threw me!" and he wailed even louder, his knees are even now hurting.

"I thought I raised you better than this, Master Jason." Mr. Butler just shook his head, "Come on, Master Timothy. Let me patch you up."

"Carry me, please?" Timothy looks at Mr. Butler with his wide eyes still filled with tears and his lips are wobbling as he put his hands up. And with no words, Mr. Butler carried him with ease. Timothy snuggled at the old man's neck, he sniffled a little and gave the weird man a middle finger, it's bad but the shocked face of the weird man is satisfying.

++++++++++

"That is a goblin, Bruce." Jason said as he watched Replacement cling to his not so legal adoptive father.

"Kids are just honest, Jason. Dick too said a lot of harsh words back when he was eight." Bruce defended Timothy as Timothy keep on touching Bruce face by gently smacking it then giggling.

"Yeah, sure. Kids are mean, we already established that, I mean have you seen Damian?" Jason snorted, "But that goblin is a lot worse than Damian and that says a lot."

"We know, Little Wing. The first time this Tim meet Damian, he managed to made Damian cry." Dick said as he spawned out of nowhere. "But he was just a cutie little thing, aren't you?" Dick cooed to Timothy and Timothy giggled.

"Okay, first of all, where the hell you come from and second, that kid made the demon cry?" Jason was shocked, the kid did made the impossible. He didn't think Al Ghuls actually can cry and that little shit actually did.

"Yes, with that incident, Damian has become more elusive to Tim. The manor has been the most peace it had since." Bruce said as he keeps Tim stay still to his arms. "And also Jason, Roy's daughter is the same age as Tim right now, right?"

[just-some-user-hunny]

The Cannibal dragon headcanons ...

(art credit for middle image, ig: dracalyss)

. Cannibal is a huge dragon, the largest of all wild-dragons, but I can't see him being any larger than Vhagar- let alone Balerian the black dread. I imagine he'd be a tad bit smaller than Vhagar- just about. His build is bulky and scarred, a thick neck of scarred obsidian scales, a set of jagged jet-black spikes that run along his spine, and covered in thick taut muscle and hardened flesh. His eyes are a blazing emerald green, teeth sharp and jagged like a shark.

. I also love the idea of him having this 'grinning' look on his face, like a crocodile or the indoraptor from Jurassic world. (His personality screams indoraptor to me, just a mean guy with a nasty lil goblin grin). And with his torn jaw and exposed teeth, it makes him look even creepier and menacing. There's something way too...human about it. Expressive in both his grin and mannerisms.

He's definitely a stare-er too. Something about a monstrously big dragon being unnervingly quiet and observing is uncomfortable, which is exactly the vibes he gives off.

. I like to visualize him as a very 'wild' looking dragon, like how'd you imagine a stray feral cat. His scales are rough and weather-worn, covered in large claw-like scars from fighting and hunting other dragons throughout his life. There's also fanart of him missing a huge chunk of flesh around his jaw and mouth, baring his teeth, which I think looks really cool :) as a young dragon he probably picked off the small and easy dragons, ones that wouldn't put up much of a fight. But as he grew in age and size, he would probably grow cocky and try his luck with larger prey. Due to him being an absolute monster, I'd imagine he'd often come up on top- but not without earning a few disfiguring scars in return.

. Despite never being bonded to a rider before, nor being ridden before in his life (he'd scoff at the mere thought of some little measly human thinking that they could climb upon his back and treat him like a pony), once he bonded with you it was like an instant connection. He is still a little edgy and unpredictable, but there is one thing for certain and that is he is always as gentle as possible with you. He'll press his body into the dirt if it allows you to climb on and off safely, craning his claws and jaw for you to step upon.

. He wouldn't wear a saddle, so you'd have to learn to ride him bareback. Thankfully he has many jagged scales and spikes to cling onto, but to be on the safe side, you'd have special riding gear to wear to help cling on. Rougher gloves and boots and trousers, it certainly helps, even if it's just a little. If anything the fact you ride bareback is a testament of your bond, showing how close and in sync you both are.

. The biggest issue with him would be his... diet, and how he'd have to adapt once he begins to hang around dragonstone more often. I'd imagine he wouldn't eat much, adding to the unpredictability of him and when he would hunt, but as his rider you'd have to supply him at least livestock every week to keep him happy and saturated. Cows, horses, large livestock due to his sheer size.

. He flies quite similar to Vhagar. His form is heavy, and although strong, he is lumbering.

Although at his age now he'd be a rather ancient dragon, he wouldn't really show his age besides a few moments where he just wants to curl up in his little cave upon his ✨private island ✨ to take a nap. In his youth he was most likely a very quick dragon, like a stalking panther striking upon his food. (Being younger dragons and hatchlings). I've seen someone write about him being a silent hunter (I'll reblog and credit once I find them), but that's such a neat idea for his character! He's survived from hunting his own kind, so he's going to hunt differently. Smarter.

. His fire in the books is described as green, and that's just too cool to swap it out with normal fire. Blazing emerald flames that engulf earth and prey, unnatural and mystical. It'd be very distinctive as well, whoever finds their fields or flocks of trees burning and crackling in a blaze of green fire, they'd know that the cannibal had just been there.

. Personality wise, I feel like he'd be cruel and sadistic, but wise and grumpy. Probably cocky as well, for having survived on his for so long and through unconventional means.

He's not a hardheaded bully, he's very tactical when it comes to facing challenges, but at this point he's such a huge threat he may be blinded by his own ego and emotions. If something were to happen to his rider, he'd make sure you'd get avenged. He's ride or die, quite literally. He'll burn everything down for you, because he feels strongly for the one human he feels he can trust. His grief is not silent or tearful, it's angry.

[starlightshadowsworld]

I love Ranpo looking at the police asking them how many of them has he helped. Even correctly identifying them.

It gives me Sam Rami Spiderman vibes. Specifically the scene where the civilians are throwing things at Green Goblin.

The "you mess with Spidey, you mess with New York."

One of my favourite scenes.

I love that scene with Ranpo because it shows that the agency has helped so many people.

They've touched the lives of so many people.

Imagine... Kunikida's former students remembering how many times he was there for them.

His old college remember his bold and bright personality, how even when he dropped out they knew he'd go far.

There's many complaints against Dazai but people also recall when he's made them laugh.

How he'd goof off and reassure them things were okay, when they felt anything but.

Everyone in Yokohama knows Kenji, they look at the containers of leftovers and their house plants that have never looked healthy before.

Even on the worst days, his smile was always kind.

People remember Yosano barging into hospitals and advocating for them.

They remember her strength and her kindness, how they were in pain but they weren't alone.

They remember how Junichiro was fiercely protective. How he'd listen patiently to their stories.

He'd stay on the line longer and help them calm down.

Fukuzawa rarely showed up but everyone felt at ease the moment he arrived.

He was always a kind and calm presence, he'd sit by your side and tell you that he'd protect you no matter what.

And you'd believe him.

People remember Kyouka, she didn't say much but she was a protective presence. They remember that they felt safe around her, like nothing could hurt them.

People remember Atsushi, this sweet kid who'd scare off abusers one minute than comfort the victim.

There was no judgement, an understanding in his eyes and he'd stay as along as you needed.

They weren't monsters, they weren't the bad guys they were being painted out to be.

The Agency loves Yokohama but more than them, the people of Yokohama love them.

And no one messed with them and got away with it.

[garpen]

if ur still doing the Q&a I have one.

Tim drake to me gives andrew Garfield's peter parker vibes. Skateboarding, photography, troubled teen vibes, etc. Why isn't Tim an actor??? Why hasn't he made a special appearance or smth on a highschool tv show like?!

Unfortunately, can't answer this one in the Q&A since it's a question related to Tim and not one of the vigilante personas.

But I love this!! I have TOO many unfinished fics but this scratched my brain in just the right place and now I have to stop myself from writing this ahhh

Like right before he confronts Batman and inserts himself as Robin, he's on a school field trip to someplace like Lex Corp, gets bitten by the radioactive spider, and becomes his universes Spiderman??? I love this idea so much!!

And bc of Batman's "no meta's" rule, he doesn't insert himself into Bruce's life and actively hides his civilian identity from him. Tim as Spiderman though still looks out for him and tries to help as he would have as Robin.

And Spiderman is on the scene now helping out, and Batman has to take a second to figure out if this is another rogue. It takes a while but relents that the kid is not a bad guy. But Batman also sees that this is a KID, a kid not too much younger than Jason was when he dies. And after the recent loss of Jason, Batman does not want another kid on the scene. So Batman is actively trying to figure out this kid's identity and trying to get him to stop.

Eventually of course identity reveal would happen, Bruce realizes like "Hey where the fuck are this kids parents?" and they develop a father/son relationship (but bc of how fucked Bruce is mentally at this time bc of Jason's death, sometimes it's Tim parenting/taking care of Bruce and vice versa)

Spiderman!Tim would probably take on Lex as his Green Goblin since LexCorp is where he got bitten. Plus green and tech guy. OOh!! and with Kon as Harry!! Son of the evil guy!! Fits so well!!! (won't make kon evil of course I love Kon, maybe a little mind manipulation arc that made him go off the rails)

Starting to think too of how Jason would react to this new dynamic since Tim wouldn't be taking the Robin mantel? Probably still angry bc his emotions were everywhere at this time + manipulations by Talia (I love Talia and don't agree with a lot of what the writers have done to her character, but yes to an extent she did manipulate Jason to a degree). Jason would probably just be more angry about being "replaced" as a son versus as a Robin. Titans Tower probably wouldn't have happened the same. Maybe more so he went to Spiderman!Tim to fight, but it ended in a really heated verbal fight.

Stephanie as his Gwen!! She "dies" like Andrews, Gwen (but like in the comics Steph doesn't actually die so no sadness forever). And then Kon or Bernard as his MJ. I'm an indecisive multishipper ahh. However if Kon fits the role of Harry, that would more likely make Bernard MJ. (but there is tons of shipping between Harry and MJ AND MJ and Peter so it could of course be a poly situation).

So many ideas running through my head now HOW DARE YOU do this to me. And now I wanna do art I can't ahhhhh

[thepunkmuppet]

costumes / looks I desperately need gerard way to wear on stage (add your own in reblogs!!)

greek statue, he’s fully painted white including his hair with a white toga with a golden wreath thing on his head. I just think that would look sick

police uniform covered in blood

straight up zombie with full on green decaying gory make up

one of the heathers from heathers

either the blue cheerleader outfit from the i’m not okay mv or the iconic red ones from teenagers. then we’d have a little trio!

ghostface. possibly cunty ghostface as a treat

vanya from umbrella academy - young version with the school girl fit and black mask OR the all white comic version of course

also number five from umbrella academy (classic school boy fit)

this sounds weird but I think this would be really cool and meta for wwwy - a stereotypical mcr fan / emo. as in with that one black parade t shirt, heavy eyeliner, black nails, side swept emo fringe, studded bracelets and belts, skinny black jeans, vans or converse. again a very meta concept, after their old person looks in 2022 I can really see them doing this as a whole band this year and I would loooove to finally see gerard in the fashion style that’s so associated with him and his music

howl from howl’s moving castle

possibly also sophie from howl’s moving castle

slenderman

literally just satan. like the most stereotypical devil, give them fully painted red skin, horns, fangs, yellow or black eyes, maybe even goat legs. probably with a majestic black suit or something, or for a succubus vibe a black flowy dress with a slit down the leg. now that I think about it, this would be a SICK wwwy look to shock us all, esp if ray mikey and frank all dressed as other demons or the souls of the damned or some shit.

peni parker - he made her!!

question mark jumper from doctor who

also missy from doctor who omg

jane doe from ride the cyclone, possibly with added marionette or cracked porcelain makeup like in some renditions

classic majestic white-robed angel, with enormous fake wings and maybe even sparkly gold makeup and a big gold halo. also would be cool in all black, or all white but covered in blood (red, gold, or black, all would look cool)

buffy summers in prophecy girl, except he also has blood all over his neck from where the master bit her. I hope he’s watched btvs I think he would very much enjoy it this look would fit with their vampire vibe sooooo well

classic frankenstein’s monster

mothman. not only is he a heartthrob but he’s also a hunched goblin cryptid to me. the duality of man (he/theys)

jane prentiss from the magnus archives. if you don’t know she is a living flesh hive of sentient worms, she’s decaying and full of holes. again with all the nasty decaying rotting prosthetic makeup plus THE RED DRESS!!!

mr darcy vibes, sopping wet regency man with a big puffy white t shirt

opposite side of that, fuck it give him a full on ballroom gown

henry creel from stranger things (pre-vecna, nurse outfit)

any disney princess

crowley from good omens. my man looks GOOD in those anthony janthony aah sunglasses he has

cute flowy summer dress with like a flowery pattern. either go cottagecore with it and have flowers in his hair, or go full white soccer mum and put him in huge cunty sunglasses a massive straw sun hat with a ribbon on it

all-black cowboy!!!! the fact I’ve never seen him in a cowboy hat is actual sacrilege. also would very much appreciate an all-pink sequin studded cowboy

any alice in wonderland character, especially alice herself, the classic disney movie look with the blue dress and the bow in the hair. he would also do a great chesire cat (spooky big grin makeup paired with his weird ass dramatic facial expressions?? inspired) or a super extravagant queen / king / knave of hearts. also 100000% the mad hatter omfg, he was BORN to do a jefferson from once upon a time look!!

[allwormdiet]

Interlude 3½

Nazi capes fuck off

Kayden automatically gives such awful vibes, ~ooh my daughter is still pure and uninfected by any of the things wrong with society, not that I contribute to that in any way by being a fucking Nazi~

So obviously this is my second go-around on this chapter so I know who Theo is in context, and can I just say, poor fucking kid. Truly what a nightmarish situation to be born into and have no control over

Good kid.

Fucking rancid adult. I'm glad it hurts you that he doesn't want you to have any luck, Kayden, you fucking dirtbag

Frankly I wish she would have a moment of doubt or hesitation, maybe it would mean she stops being a fucking Nazi. Or maybe she wipes out after taking a fifteen-story swan dive, either way that's a problem solved

And oh yeah, of course she just happens to be targeting the ABB, not like she could pick a fight with Coil or something

...The description of her realizing that they're closing ranks and getting stronger is a neat instance of showing Bakuda's influence from another perspective, at least, get something out of this rotten POV

It's been one week of mediocre results and you're going back to him. What a pillar of moral strength you are.

So the leader of a neo-Nazi street gang is, like, the CEO of a company that's big enough to have its own building with a logo on it.

...Does that feel a little small potatoes to anyone else? I feel like if you're an evil CEO with superpowers and Nazi sympathies you could do a lot more damage than that. Like I know Green Goblin basically only terrorizes New York City but that's because the city is outrageously dense with superhero bullshit, it takes a fucking escape velocity to leave for even an issue, and even then Norman Osbourne still found time to do the Thunderbolts thing

God this man's vibes suck so hard. Like obviously they suck, he's a fucking Nazi, but clearly that wasn't enough for him

Quick q, what does the CEO of a company need with the profits from extortion and theft? He makes more money by sitting in a board meeting, and you can't tell me that there's no way to launder money available to him

And yeah fucking, of course she's still only beating up nonwhite criminals, she's a fucking Nazi

Excuses excuses, Kayden

And yeah of course you can't shake the perspective that "the same kinds of people" are all the worse criminals, you spent a decade believing that and haven't really challenged yourself on that

Honestly I'm willing to believe that her split with Max here wasn't even a matter of ideology, just that she didn't want him to fuck up their kid

And here we see why Kayden fell into becoming a fucking Nazi, I suspect: it's that she's also a goddamn sucker. Max is playing her like a fiddle, and she knows full well that he is, but she falls for it anyway. I'd almost feel bad for her, if she wasn't a fucking Nazi

Cry me a fucking river, Kayden

Current Thoughts

Let's get back to the characters worth anything

[elinoracia]

🕷🕸 MY SPIDERSONA // Tarentule 🕸🕷

→ Let me introduce you to my Spidersona: Tarentule!

Ref sheet + infos :

● Spider-name: Tarantula (in english) // Tarentule (in french) // Tarantel (in german) ● Universe: Earth-9 // Switzerland ● Full name: Paloma Pey ● Age: Between 20 and 25 ● Love interest(s): Garson Stein or Mateo-James Wagner (love triangle) // Miguel O'hara (after being recruited) ● Job outside of superhero activities: Receptionnist

If you want to know more about her ↓

Personality, appearance and more :

● Friends: She is usually very shy and doesn't have many friends. But her best friend is Neon-Spider (oc/spidersona who belongs to luma_oku on instagram). She met her at the Spider Society (Earth-928B) after being recruited by Miguel O'hara. She also became friends with Pavitr Prabhakar and Miles Morales. ● Canon events: Being bitten by a radioactive tarentula, The death of her first best friend (Diana Dixon), the loss of her mother and the death of her second love interest (Garson Stein) because she couldn't save him. ● Personality: She used to be very bubbly and social but the death of her best friend (Diana Dixon) changed this aspect of her character. She is now quite scared to form meaningful bonds with people and is very shy and anxious around anyone who tries to talk to her. She still likes to crack some stupid jokes sometimes (only when she wears the mask). However, with her few close friends, she is very sweet and affectionate. ● Appearance: She has long brown hair with greenish hazel eyes. She is 5'6 (167 cm). She has a beauty mark under both of her eyes. ● Likes: The color pink, her family (father, sister and brother), cats, spicy food, shrimps and ice creams. ● Dislikes: Feeling anxious, loneliness, the color orange, celery, very loud noises and agressive people.

What inspired her design and spider-suit :

● Black cat: She was my main inspiration because I just love her vibe so much. ● Black/Venom spidersuit: I actually bought this suit (not me in the picture) and I wore it to multiple conventions so it just reminds me good memories. ● Fluffy fashion: I am obsessed with fluffy/fuzzy clothes. So cute. ● Black tarentula: She is just so massive and pretty. Love her :) ● Me: Yes! The last inspiration for my Spidersona is me! (✿◡‿◡) Anyone can wear the mask so I decided to strongly base this oc on me and how I actually look like!

Fun facts about Tarentule :

● She absolutely hates the color orange. She feels nauseous just by looking at a bright orange color. ● She paints on her free time! She mostly paints landscapes because everytime she tries to paint people it ends up not good enough. ● Since she was 18, she was really close to two boys. Garson Stein or Mateo-James Wagner. While Mateo and her were on and off, she fell in love with Garson. She had to choose between the two boys. In the end, she put an end to her on and off relationship with Mateo to be with Garson. He then died after an attack of the Green Goblin. ● When she was personally recruited by Miguel, she eventually grew closer to him. She was always trying her best on missions to impress him and make him notice her. She learnt to love again after everything she went through even if Miguel's feelings towards her are still unknown. ● Her favorite song is "Can't help falling in love with you" by Elvis Presley. ● She is almost like a big sister to Miles. She always tries to make him feel better and to give him advice. She sees herself in him and that's why she wants to support him as much as possible and not make him feel like the outcast.

[halsins-herbal-underpants]

Between Want and Need

also known as I Bet You'll Fit in My Pack

So another Halstarion fluff piece! I must be feeling the softness lately, haha. This one kind of rambled a bit -- I blame the fact I can't seem to write a thing with Astarion in it where the party banter doesn't devolve into like 89% 'give Astarion shit' times lmao -- I quite like the general vibe and the sweetness. No betas, hope everyone's IC lol! Pls do enjoy ~

Fluff / Astarion/Halsin / 6k words (give or take) // AO3 Link

◈━◈━◈━◈━◈

Astarion owed Halsin something and he wasn't happy about it at all.

He owed him, because that morning when he'd come back from an early hunt with Wyll, Shadowheart, and their defacto party leader Tav, Astarion had been covered in blood and walking slowly, painfully, a red-spattered gash at the waist -- and Halsin had hurried right to the vampire's side without a moment of hesitation. His hands were already starting to glimmer with druidic healing magic before Astarion even said a word.

And he hated it. Because now he owed him for that. After all, he hadn't needed Halsin to heal him, and yet there he was, kneeling at Astarion's feet and whispering magical words over his wound while his skin glimmered in oranges and greens.

Astarion let him. He decided it was easier to let Halsin continue rather than push him away.

But he didn't need this at all. Frankly, it was presumptuous, and he wondered why he didn’t let the druid know right then and there.

Well. Seemed silly to complain now, he supposed. But next time. Definitely next time.

Astarion wouldn't have even been wandering around the godsforsaken woods, if Tav hadn't insisted the spawn get his turn at the camp's fun new group activity.

The party was trying to load up on meat while they were past the Shadow cursed lands, but still far enough outside Baldur's Gate good game remained plentiful. Looting eighteen bottles of wine and twenty half-eaten apples for dinner was all well and good when hunting was scarce, but everyone -- well, everyone that didn't just need to cajole a bite of Halsin’s neck to have their supper -- was craving something substantial.

They had done a few days worth of hunting, everyone getting a turn to enjoy themselves with something besides killing cultists and goblins, but this was going to be the last of it. And boy, was Astarion glad for that.

Hunting for himself was fun. Hunting, real hunting, the kind that required more than just drinking an animal dry and discarding its carcass for the carrion birds, was so very indescribably boring.

His boredom might have been why he wasn't really paying as close attention to things as he should, frankly. Another reason to blame Tav for his troubles.

They'd run into a small raiding party, Tav had explained, as Astarion grimaced in pain under Halsin’s care. They sat besides him on one of the logs surrounding the camp's fire while Halsin knelt at Astarion's feet and concentrated on the slash in his side.

Kobolds, so the fight was over quickly. But a lucky little bugger he thought was dead had poked Astarion good when the vampire turned away to loot a body. The dagger was fit for kobold hands so the slash hadn't been deep. There had just been a nasty little poison on the blade, so it stung and burned and -- well, hurt quite a lot, actually.

But Astarion was fine, of course. He didn’t need this fussing at all.

"Blasted creature didn't have the courtesy to stay dead when stabbed," he sniffed. "So no fault of mine, if you ask me--ow!" He hissed softly in pain and Halsin winced.

"Apologies, Astarion. I think this may have been wyvern poison instead of the more standard fare," Halsin frowned, just as Shadowheart entered the camp, trailing behind while she helped Wyll carry back one of the bucks they'd managed to fell. Halsin's words made her pause and she frowned as well, as she dropped her half of the deer with the other game meat and walked towards the druid and his patient.

"Oh, wonderful," the vampire muttered dryly. "Surely poison isn't a cause for alarm for a walking corpse?

"You are more than that," Halsin scolded in that gentle way that made Astarion both roll his eyes and feel warm all over. "But yes, it should be fine. However it would be better if healing had been started at the moment the poison met flesh."

The druid's eyes flicked towards Shadowheart for the briefest moment before turning back to Astarion's wounds, but she absolutely caught the glance and her eyes narrowed. Halsin didn't notice. "It's had a bit to work its way in and this is a nasty sort that eats at the tissue; luckily its slow enough to often catch in time before lasting damage is done."

"That explains the burning," Astarion mused, more curious than worried as he peered down at the throbbing wound barely visible under Halsin's large hands, as the druid channeled Silvanus' blessing into his skin. "No real worries, I've had worse--"

"Oh Astarion...pardon me for interrupting, but can we speak?"

Astarion's words were abruptly halted by Shadowheart, her question blurted with a tone that sounded almost...offended? He looked up at the cleric and blinked to see her glaring at him, hands on her hips.

"I couldn’t help but overhear, you see. You were hurt by a poisoned blade?” Her lips turned downward, eyes narrowing more. “Why then, didn't you say anything?"

"Darling, it's like I said. I've had worse." He waved her off. "I can't run to you for every little bump and scrape, can I? It'd be a waste of my time and yours."

"That's what I'm here for, you stubborn twit," Shadowheart huffed and crossed her arms. "And having a dirty wound laced with wyvern poison is hardly a scrape. It's obvious you're in more pain than you let on, but you said nothing to me -- and I did check with you, if you recall." Her lips pressed tightly. "As I do everyone after a battle. But instead you said nothing until you waltzed back into camp." She paused and then continued roughly, a flicker of genuine upset escaping her careful expression. "And on top of it, you've made Halsin think I'm a poor cleric!"

"Oh, Shadowheart, I did not mean--" Halsin's exclaimed immediately, looking up at the half-elf with surprise and regret. He certainly hadn't intended his glance to convey that. It was involuntary, more curiosity as to why she seemed to have ignored an injury, than condemnation. It wasn't like her to leave a wounded comrade without aid if possible, after all. "You're incredibly skilled! I deeply apologize if I offended you."

"Huh! It's her accusation that's more offensive," Astarion frowned, feeling oddly defensive -- though, not for himself, but for the druid. "Our big bear would never be so rude. I wonder if he’s capable of a judgmental thought at all," he added drolly and Halsin had to chuckle.

"Oh, you'd be surprised..."

It was Shadowheart's turn to be chagrined and after a moment of faltering, she sighed and shook her head, her armored shoulders slumping.

"Oh, I'm sorry, myself. I know you wouldn't think something like that Halsin. At least nothing of real concern you’d keep to yourself.” Arms crossing, she rubbed at the back of her neck, lips pursed in an unnoticed pout.

“I suppose I'm just annoyed at our oh-so-brave rogue here, because this isn't the first time he's refrained from telling me about an injury until he returned to camp and had you fix it up." She paused and then tilted her chin up a little, trying to convey her next words coolly, and not tinged with the small amount of hurt she felt.

"If you think I'm incompetent Astarion, I wish you'd just say so. It would certainly save me some spell slots when you inevitably walk over a trap you yourself just located."

Astarion looked at her silently for a beat, glancing back at Halsin, but the druid was concentrating on his wound. Those wise hazel eyes did lift a little and meet his, Halsin's eyebrows raising. A sort of silent "Well...?" And then he smiled, gentle and caring, and went back to what he'd been doing. Encouragement to say what he knew was the right thing, but no pressure to do so.

The vampire groaned, his head dropping back as his brow pinched in irritation. "I....don't think you're incompetent, Shadowheart. You're a fantastic healer. I've never meant for my actions to feel like a personal slight, and...I'm..."

He paused, feeling something burning the side of his face and he glanced over to see Tav watching him with a very encouraging smile. Practically nodding along to every word, in fact.

For fuck's sake.

"Hhhhhh...I'm sorry," he muttered at Shadowheart's general direction, ignoring the low chuckle that came from the druid before him. He could just imagine the satisfied smile on that careworn face and he forced his own to pinch in annoyance.

"...Hm. Apology accepted," Shadowheart replied nonchalantly and then moved to sit on the log next to Astarion, watching Halsin do his work. She shifted as if attempting to get comfortable, the movement making her knee bump into Astarion's, briefly.

He recognized the gesture for what it was. They were both the same kind of stubborn, after all. He moved too, pretending to stretch, and bumped his elbow against her arm. He saw her little smile out of his periphery, and matched it with one of his own. They were all right.

"Still though," she did continue, her voice warmer with the slightest hint of reproach. "If you're hurt, you ought to tell me. Sometimes it's a simple scrape and sometimes it's wyvern poison, you know? I'm still terribly curious why you hesitate."

"Mm, no real reason. Perhaps I subconsciously fear Selune's wrath, she is so picky when it comes to who is worthy of her moonlight," he joked.

Of course, forgetting the camp currently held the daughter of said deity literally a tent away.

"What is that you say of my Mother Goddess?" Dame Aylin's voice rang out and Astarion nearly jumped.

"O-oh, nothing! Nothing at all--!" Astarion quickly blurted with a breezy, if slightly-frightened, smile. "Idle chatter, completely meaningless. I assure you."

He didn't see the smile that played over the assimar's lips as she affected a gruff look at the vampire. Halsin blinked and then laughed softly, lifting himself up to sit on Astarion's other side and place a large warm hand on his knee; a gesture of comfort and perhaps a small one of protection, as well. Of course the vampire had nothing to fear from Aylin, she was teasing. But still, it was comforting to have Halsin's huge body between her and himself.

"Let us not grow too heated," Halsin said cheerfully. "I do believe allowances are commonly made when one's true heart is seen. The Oak Father himself deems Astarion worthy of succor. I am quite sure Selune does as well."

"Hmmm…" Dame Aylin pretended to think for a few moments, watching Astarion fidget and then smiled brightly. "Aye, it is true. Our Lady of Silver knows a shadowed heart from a blackened one after all. Such hearts are alike to Her moonflower; though it may bloom only in darkness, its petals shall always seek the light."

Halsin couldn’t keep from smiling as he gently uncapped a bottled salve plucked from within his pouch, applying it gently to Astarion’s wound – a benefit not necessarily needed for Astarion’s natural healing, but one that would ease the pain more quickly. It wasn’t like his patient was complaining this time, either, so he took advantage of the rare agreeable mood.

“And a particularly lovely blossom to see in their unique bloom, if you’re able,” he agreed quietly.

Astarion blushed lightly, though he wasn’t quite sure why; he hid it with an expression dripping with annoyance, hand lifting to brush through his hair airly. “Have you quite finished, druid?” he muttered. “I’m not as delicate as some night flower.”

Isobel pursed her lips, looking thoughtfully at the spawn as he sat before Halsin, arguing the extra cautious treatment even as he happily remained for it. She slowly grinned then, leaning up to whisper something in her lover's ear as Astarion, his face gone as red as his formerly favorite wine at everyone’s eyes on him, exhaled a deep and long-suffering sigh.

"Can we please move the conversation past my heart, or my succor or me as the general topic, please?"

"But this topic is so much more interesting than talking about the deer we have to butcher," Tav interjected, plopping down on one of the other logs around the campfire, facing Astarion with a huge grin on their face. Astarion squinted at them, looking for all the world like a disgruntled feline.

Oh dear gods, are they all going to come over and sit around him now??

"Ah, apologies for bringing it up, Halsin," Tav added with a slight wince. The druid chuckled and shook his head.

"That is nature's cycle, my friend. It doesn't disturb me to talk about it. I joined you on one of your hunting nights, did I not? And I'm a fair hand at properly dressing a buck as well, so let me know if you need help."

"We'll need all hands, to be honest," Tav sighed, stretching. Astarion breathed an internal sigh of relief, glad the conversation had moved away from himself and his injury as the subject. "We've two large buck, a doe, three rabbits, a small boar and I think Wyll got a couple of quail on the way back."

"That's...quite a haul of meat," Halsin said hesitantly, a soft frown knitting his brows. "We'll be somewhere we can purchase supplies soon, as is. Did you really need so many...?"

Tav was quiet for a minute, then ran a hand through their hair, looking away. "I just...I started thinking about the refugees I saw when we went into Rivington a few days ago. A few of the tieflings from the grove were already there...the kids," they added quietly, and paused. "Everyone crowded into these makeshift tents and I didn't see a lot of, ah. You know. Food. So I thought, well, we were hunting anyway, and there's enough of us to carry extra..."

The concerned look on Halsin's face melted away into a huge smile, grateful and gracious. "Tav! That's a wonderful idea. I'll definitely help. If we all work on it together we can start to salt the venison tonight."

Well now the conversation had returned to the dull and boring. Astarion sighed and made to stretch, but winced with a sharp intake of breath, a hand hovering over the wound Halsin was quietly tending. "Ah -- th-that hurts more than I expected..."

He wasn't very happy about that, he had plans for later. Mostly slipping into Halsin’s tent and seducing another drink from that lovely throat. It was growing to be a bit indulgent, he couldn’t deny. He didn’t necessarily need it, but…well. He wanted it. That was good enough, wasn’t it?

“Apologies, it will sting with movement for some time. Really, in truth – you should always alert Shadowheart when you’re injured. Sometimes these things are time sensitive.” He met Astarion’s glimmering ruby gaze with those pretty, so very honest eyes of his own. “Will you please attempt to do so more often, Astarion? If not for your own sake, then perhaps to allay your healer’s worry…”

Before a very flustered Astarion could speak, Shadowheart leapt to her feet and pointed at the two of them, smiling triumphantly. “I knew it! I knew that’s what this was about! I was right! Wyll, you owe me ten gold.”

“Blast! I was so certain you were exaggerating,” Wyll sighed from the other side of camp. “I mean – he’s a rogue, not a front liner, hardly soaks damage enough to justify such a thing.”

“What are you on about, you confusing woman?” Astarion snapped, cheeks red. Then blinked as Shadowheart loomed over him with her teasing smile, fingertip poking his forehead.

“He’s your pack healer! I knew it. You’ve run back to him for every bump and scrape for weeks now. Isobel, myself, Jaheira – we may as well be invisible~”

Halsin couldn’t see the look on Astarion’s face, turned towards Shadowheart as he was, but apparently it was enough to make the half-elf burst into delighted giggles, practically dancing away from Astarion as if those blades were seconds from lunging towards her. Which might not be so far from the truth.

She turned, looking over her shoulder at Astarion almost coquettishly, a hand lightly perched upon her chest. “Well! I know when I’m not wanted~” she said with the flair of a dreadful penny romance. “He’s all yours, Archdruid. You’ll have to come with us more often, obviously. The poor thing does tend to get caught by a surprising number of missed traps.”

“....You know, I think I miss cold Sharran princess Shadowheart,” Astarion sniffed, his lips in a thin line. “She didn’t give me quite so much sass.”

Halsin had to chuckle at that. “Mmh, I don’t know Astarion, I seem to recall just as much sass, just of a different nature. I quite enjoy the new outlook.” He finished the last pass at smoothing the salve into the wound and began to bandage it now, taking much longer with the application than needed to save Astarion the sting. Not unusual of course, Halsin was ever mindful of how much extra pain his healing ministrations could add; but he did tend to take extra care with a certain spawn, which had not gone unnoticed by – well, most of the camp, really.

In fact this whole production may have been led by ulterior motives, if the grin on Tav’s face as they watched the group was anything to go by. Astarion was too preoccupied by the insinuation of the other cleric to really notice, luckily.

”Pack healer…” he snorted, crossing his legs though he didn’t lean away from Halsin’s hands this time. “Ridiculous notion.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Isobel mused as she sat on one of the logs surrounding the campfire, Dame Aylin close behind her shoulder, as always. “Perhaps not in those exact words, but…well, in truth, while I heal all in need happily, Aylin is…she’s…” The cleric trailed off, unable to think of a way to describe it, but luckily the demigod had a much more succinct way with words.

“I am Isobel’s shield and blade. And she is my home and hearth.” Aylin looked down at Isobel then, one armored hand lowering to touch a pale cheek. “My place of rest and succor. While I would never deny any cleric’s help if the cause was great, in the end…it is my darling Isobel’s healing touch that I seek before any other. The only I need.”

Astarion shifted uncomfortably and Halsin expected he must be growing tired of the druid’s slow, careful touch by now -- so he finished applying the last bandage and stopped. He didn’t see Astarion’s brief, tiny frown as Halsin began repacking his supplies.

“Aylin,” the Selunite blushed a little, tucking a lock of moon-silver hair behind her ear. “I am no better than another, you know.”

“You outshine them all,” the aasimar said simply and smiled. “Mine own biases at work, I admit, but still. When it is you – the one that shares my heart, well–” She glanced over, that intense expression (that always honestly intimated Astarion just a little) actually softened as she put thoughts to words. Her ethereal gaze met the spawn’s eyes.

“I am blade and shield, aye -- strong as steel and iron. But sometimes I must bend or I will break, and beneath my love’s hands – I can. Her hearth is safe, and I may lie and be vulnerable for a time.” Her glowing gaze turned back to Isobel, smile wide and the cleric’s face was flushed warm. “And if it is a slight amusement, to acknowledge the match? Dame Aylin, with her cleric kept handy in her pack.” She laughed, that boisterous guffaw. “A fitting thing! My Isobel is so sweet and small.”

Halsin didn’t speak during Dame Aylin’s speech, but the tips of his ears were pink as he rose, looking like he’d been thinking of a great many things. But instead of sharing, he just started gathering up his kit bag on a shoulder, task finished. And really, that was all it was. A task asked of any other healer, nothing more or less.

Never mind that the only reason Halsin got to Astarion’s wound as quickly as he did was because the wood elf always scanned the edges of camp with searching eyes the moment the group's approaching noise signaled their return. And that seeking gaze had never landed on Tav or Wyll or Gale or Karlach or any of the others and stayed.

It only ever lingered on one pale elf.

Tav rubbed their chin slightly, thinking, a small smile spreading on their lips, the one that always preceded some trickery or another.

“You two are adorable,” they said cheerily to the Selunite duo, and clapped their hands together. “But sadly ‘tease Astarion hours’ are over! We’ve all got work to do.”

“Oh, is it over already? A shame, I was just beginning to really enjoy myself,” Astarion hissed, the annoyed poofed tail and flat ears practically visible as he too rose with Halsin. Not purposefully! Just idle timing.

“You can’t expect me to join you with all that…blood and guts business, do you?" he continued. "I’m injured!” He groaned exaggeratedly and hobbled a few feet towards his tent. “I'll just go lie down…”

“Oh, pshh...you’re fine! You can skin a rabbit like that, surely. Isn’t that right, Halsin?” Tav asked with an innocent smile.

The druid raised his head, blinking – his mind obviously preoccupied with some other thought. “Hm? Oh, yes, he should – be –” His words paused as he caught Astarion’s eye, the vampire’s ruby gaze wide and his head shaking imperceptibly. Well. Mostly. Tav certainly caught it, and they saw Halsin did too.

“--Oh– Ah– I mean, rather – he probably should refrain from dealing with any viscera…”

Astarion’s eyes widened and his cheeks puffed a little.

“O-or, perhaps not – no touching any of the raw flesh, or, or skinning.” Halsin amended and tilted his head, thinking. “He could help by plucking the birds, I sup–”

A very slight noise like a whistling tea kettle sounded from Astarion’s throat and if Tav didn’t know better they'd think the vampire was hopping in place. Very small angry hops.

Gods but they did love riling Astarion up sometimes. Heroes needed their fun, too.

“He can’t do any butchering!” Halsin finished with an exasperated, if slightly amused, huff. “Just rest and recuperation, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, well, darn I guess we’ll just have to do without!” Tav sighed, hands in the air. They ignored the glare from a few of the companions around, who did not find the amusement worth having to take over Astarion’s share of work. “Best keep him with you too, Halsin, just in case the infection spreads or some such.”

“...Pardon?” Astarion exclaimed then, mid-stride to his own tent. He blinked as Tav gave him a look and made little ‘shooing’ motions at him.

“If you’re too bad off to help, Astarion, you’re too bad off to lounge in your tent reading some awful bodice ripper. Go. Halsin’s tent. Now. Unless you do want to pluck some birds after all…?”

Astarion blinked and turned to look at Halsin, but the druid had already ducked into his tent. Astarion suddenly felt chastised for reasons he didn’t know, and even stranger, finding the druid’s sudden absence…vexing.

“No thank you,” the spawn sniffed without much of anything behind it, then turned. Tav grinned as they watched Astarion hurry to Halsin’s tent and slip inside.

“Well, he certainly became energetic for such an obviously injured, pain-stricken creature,” they said dryly and then sighed, turning to the others and joining them as the least fun part of their hunting weekend began.

“Sooo...can I have one of those pack healers?” they said with a grin, leaning over Shadowheart’s shoulder as she settled in with a knife and a rabbit carcass. “I am the leader, you know~”

“Tch!” Shadowheart flicked Tav’s nose. “I think not. You’re a bard. Heal thyself, support.”

◈━◈━◈━◈━◈

Astarion didn’t know what to say once he entered Halsin’s tent, the space small and slightly crowded enough the two had to ease over and around the other to settle onto the padded flooring. Mercifully, that occupied his time for a bit -- too busy to talk while the spawn found some sort of arrangement of his limbs that wouldn’t leave a knee pressing into the large druid somewhere uncomfortable, or Astarion’s foot in a plant pot.

“I apologize for the clutter,” Halsin said at length, attempting to rearrange his stack of books and myriad strings of dried herbs and clay jars of live plantings. “I didn’t exactly…mean for you to join me, really. The wound is likely to be uncomfortable if you lay on that side or twist too much, but there's no cause for a watchful eye, truly. You…” he paused. “You don’t need to be here. You may leave any time you wish, I won’t hold you to Tav’s suggestion.”

Astarion felt the weight behind that pause and turned slightly to look at Halsin with a frown – though that quickly gave away to a wince, as he twisted too far to do so. “Gh! Ah…th-that’s what you meant,” he chuckled low to himself even as his side throbbed.

Halsin immediately looked apologetic and his brow furrowed. “Oh, I didn't think--I'm sorry, that was my fault, Astarion. There’s barely any room here to maneuver…please, allow me.” He stretched out a hand and that familiar glow filled Astarion’s side and warmed him clear through to his fingers and toes. Exhaling a deep sigh, he melted back a little against Halsin’s bedroll and pillows.

“That’s -- mmh, better. Much better. Thank you,” he said sincerely, a fresh burst of warmth glimmering through him at the soft smile on the druid’s lips.

“Ah, since I’m here – I might as well stay,” he said airly, with a carefully casual tone. “I’ll have to just stop maneuvering, as you say, and stay right where I am. It’s not so bad,” he said then and after a beat, smiled up at the druid. “A lovely view at the very least.”

Halsin’s lips twitched a little into a brief smile, and Astarion swore he saw the tips of those lengthy wood elf ears turn pink again. But the smile faded as quickly as it'd come.

“...Astarion. I hope I haven’t...made you feel like you must come to me for healing, if you're injured. You need to be attended by whomever is available, as soon as possible. Waiting for me because I -- I made it seem like that was your only option, or that it’s what I demand -- that was not--" Halsin faltered a little, his scar wrinkling over worried brows. "It's--my intentions have always been–”

“I never needed your healing, druid,” Astarion interrupted, voice tight. He wasn't angry or annoyed, he just -- he just needed Halsin to stop talking like that. Like he’d...forced Astarion to do something. Like he'd overstepped a boundary. He felt a sharp pain in his stomach at the thought that his stubbornness might've convinced Halsin any of the things he'd done for Astarion had been wrong.

He winced at the look of contrition on Halsin’s face that followed the vampire's outburst. The druid seemed to almost shrink in on himself, become smaller with guilt. He couldn't meet Astarion's eyes.

Astarion's chest felt tight as a vise, to see the elf like that and know he was the cause. His brow furrowed. “No, no -- I’m sorry Halsin, I didn’t -- I said that the wrong way. I--”

“It’s just–”

They both stopped, looking at each other and then chuckled wryly, one to the other. “You first,” Astarion said softly.

“The healing…and the…” Halsin gestured to his throat, where the twin pinpricks Astarion had left there a few nights ago were still visible. “The meals. I never wanted to, mm -- not force – perhaps expect?” He thought and then hummed. “Yes…made it seem like I expected you to get such needed things from me, and, well, only me. That was never my intention.”

How could he add that he felt remorseful, and so guilty, because he understood how easily it was for Astarion to just do as he was told. Suggested or commanded, made no difference in the end, if they were said with enough authority...or by someone Astarion trusted. Not that Halsin thought he had authority over the spawn like that, but -- he was a healer, was he not? And not to mention, he was the only one who had offered his blood freely. Was that not obligation, instead of choice? Astarion already struggled with feeling like anything he was given by another was a debt owed.

Astarion should choose himself, what he wanted – who he wanted, for whatever his need may be. Always.

“As you said. You have never needed my healing. But I always was the first at your side, almost pushing it onto you.” He paused and sighed. “Too eager perhaps to feel needed. A feeling I seem to still crave even now. Forgive me.”

“Druid," Astarion muttered, his words strangely thick. "Why…are you…the way you are?” Astarion groaned to himself, an arm resting over his eyes. He’d moved to hide his face as Halsin spoke, the aching feeling in his stomach now fully matched in his chest. He couldn’t look the other elf in the eye.

“I’m not sure–”

“Godsdamnit, so -- so kind!” Astarion snapped. “So good and sweet a-and--” He stopped and exhaled a slow, long breath and then rolled over a little. It was so much easier to address Halsin’s flowers and tiny tree clippings than the druid himself. “You’re right," he continued, softly. "I never needed your healing. And I was actually quite angry this morning at receiving it, since it meant I owed you yet again...”

“Astarion. You’ve never owed me, not once–”

“Yes, I know druid. Hush and let me speak.” The larger elf fell silent and Astarion remained on his side looking away so he didn’t have to see the look of sad anticipation he knew was on on Halsin’s face. Perhaps even a quiet, empty acceptance; he no doubt expected Astarion to tell him to never touch him again, or speak to him, or maybe even something crueler.

The spawn’s chest tightened again.

“That was me being -- oh, let’s just admit it -- angry at myself for telling myself yet more useless lies. Even now, after all this time and learning that, gods forfend I can actually trust you -- I still don't understand why you ask for nothing in return. A part of me holds back, waiting for the moment you’re going to..."

Astarion paused, the closed his eyes tightly. "To want something I can’t give you, in repayment. Because I know I'd do it anyway." His voice softened, briefly. "I'd do anything you asked.”

Halsin's eyebrows raised at that, but he didn't pursue it. He meant to let Astarion speak until he had no more words to give. Rare enough that he was this forthcoming, in the first place.

The vampire sighed deeply. “So if I never once needed what you gave -- freely and out of your own ridiculous, frustrating goodness, might I add! -- well then. I owed you nothing, and never would. No obligation.”

He curled up a little. “The truth was never that, of course. So much worse that I tried to hide it with a flimsy easily-disproven lie like that. No, it could be said I never needed your healing, or your blood or…your…hhh…” Astarion exhaled hard, forcing the words out so they’d stop sticking in his throat. “Touch. Company….voice...” He mumbled. “Scent…”

Finally Astarion couldn’t take it any longer. Even though the pain made him wince and half-cry out as he pushed himself up and twisted towards Halsin, he just gritted through it, especially since it was nothing like what he’d felt before. Even so, he had to take a minute to shoo Halsin away, the druid's instinct to help stop that pain.

Astarion huffed. He may truly be getting soft with these blasted friends that kept soothing all the hurts.

He met Halsin’s face, heart squeezing at the slumped shoulders and achingly sad eyes of someone awaiting an inevitable rejection. Favoring action over words, Astarion reached out and took those roughened, worn hands, ones he’d experienced firsthand as the most gentle that had ever touched him, at least in memory. The spawn could tell that the gesture surprised Halsin and he took advantage to squeeze them with his own slender fingers and surprise him even more.

“I don’t need you to heal–” Astarion paused.

“Mmh no. Let me say what I mean,” he amended, quickly, before he lost his nerve. “I don’t need you Halsin…” The sharp glittering rubies of his eyes met the gentle spring of Halsin's own, wide and sincere.

“I want you. I…I want you. Your care, and concern, and your blood and, hells, your company and, and your voice…your healing touch…” His eyes flicked downward and he grinned, showing fangs.

“Your hands. Gods, do I love what you do with your hands,” he laughed softly, not even bothering to turn it into some seductive innuendo. Just pure honesty. What those hands do, though.

Astarion suddenly let go of Halsin and gripped his folded legs tightly, staring at them, his moment of brazen honesty almost too much to continue to bear. His teeth gritted a bit.

“If anyone has been taking advantage of anyone else, then I’ve taken advantage of your kindness and care. Shadowheart was right -- I’ve been keeping silent every time I got hurt, because all I wanted was...was to come back here and…” He paused, Dame Aylin’s words flickering through his head.

He smiled ruefully. “Receive your succor.” A pause and then he continued, more softly. “Lie and be vulnerable, for a time. But only with you.”

“But--�� he could hear a thickness in Halsin’s words and he looked up quickly, brow furrowing, afraid his words had gone too far. But the expression on Halsin’s face was not of pain.

And Astarion’s chest hurt again, but this time he found he didn’t mind.

“But why me? When there are so many others at hand…?” Even now, it seemed the druid couldn’t quite believe it. And Astarion smiled then, real and raw and lopsided, no performance or careful construction. He didn't even keep his eyes from crinkling at the corners.

“‘Because,” he said softly, reaching forward to take Halsin's hands in his again, pressing close enough he could feel that welcome warmth surrounding him. “Simple, darling.” He laughed and then leaned closer.

“It’s what I choose." He pressed a palm to Halsin's chest, felt the strong thump of his heart. "You're what I choose~”

Halsin was quiet for a beat, and then a slow ragged breath left him. His arms wound around Astarion immediately, emotion taking over any carefulness; but the vampire didn’t even mind the pain, would gladly welcome any amount if it meant these arms stayed like this for as long as they could.

Of course, he knew the big softy wouldn’t dare cause a second of hurt, so when he winced and said ‘ouch’, Halsin apologized profusely. That got him a pinch; he chuckled, apologized for apologizing with a cheeky grin and carefully shifted to gather Astarion up in his lap, no hint of pain in the new position.

Well if this was what it took to get Halsin to cuddle, he’d have let a Kobold stab him weeks ago.

“So,” Halsin began with a bemused smile playing over his lips, his forehead against Astarion’s as they curled up together. “Does this mean I'm to be kept in your pack?”

“Pfft! Certainly not,” Astarion snorted. “You’re way too big.” He grinned a little as Halsin laughed, and then looked up to meet his gaze.

“But if you’d like to perhaps, stay at my side, instead? I think that would work just fine.”

“Hmm…” Halsin mused, and then smiled gently and pressed his lips to Astarion’s forehead. “Yes. I do believe I can do just that. For as long as you need m–” he paused and then his smile warmed. “For as long as you want me there.”

“Well,” Astarion said, his answering grin soft and indulgent. “Best prepare, healer. That’s going to be a very long time, indeed.”

[thepariahcontinuum]

I put this in a reblog before but honestly it should be it’s own post.

Fuck it I don't have an "Official" or "Personal" Spider-Sona just because I'm not an artist but I've got a few ideas to throw out....I’ll do 8 because it seems like a fitting number for a team of Spider-People

Green Huntsman: The Harry Osborne of their universe, is actually the second Spider-Man after receiving blood transfusion from his friend Peter Parker before he died. norman is still Green Goblin here and I like the idea of neither of them knowing who the other one is at first, even though Green Huntsman's costume has some Sam Raimi Green Goblin design elements and some Oscorp tech in it.....Goblin just thinks that this Spider is just a pissed off former employee.

Cordyceps: You already know where we're going with this, at least to some extent. This is Gwen Stacy from a universe where her symbiote didn't bond to her properly and is instead eating her alive and neither one of them is truly in charge of the body, leading to an erratic and dangerous personality but someone who can be extremely useful in specific circumstances....And is also a tragic walking figurative timebomb who knows she's doomed.

Dragline: If the last one was a figurative timebomb this guy is literal....Take the idea of the "Marvel Ruins" Peter Parker and dial it back slightly... this Peter is basically using specially adapted webbing to hold his organs in and a mix of jerry-rigged tech from various Marvel companies to give himself cybernetic limbs to replace his failing limbs and seal himself inside a suit that will stop him infecting/irradiating everyone around him.

Trapdoor-Spider: Definitely from a dystopian universe, I'm thinking something DieselPunk....Militant freedom fighter vibes, would absolutely get on with Hobie. Doesn't swing around cities much and instead relies on ambush tactics and razorwire webs/tripwires/garrotes.... Because a Spider-Person that doesn't like heights amuses me.

Pendulum: A living shitpost and a raver who absolutely only exists because of the song "Tarantula" by Pendulum..... Definitely has a power related to psychedelics.

Scuttle, the Recluse-Spider: Is absolutely not here for anyone's bullshit. With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility but they would much rather be at home.....Definitely stealthy as hell, has Miles’s invisibility thing.

Sleipnir: A Viking themed Spider-Girl, whose using the aesthetic to cover the fact that she’s a horse girl....Also definitely has some form of extra limb, either mechanical or something else.

Camel-Spider: Just a big hulking monster of a Spider-person, they were buff as hell before they got powers and it made them even bigger....But funnily enough they never realised that they were a ‘Spider’ before they were inducted into the Spider-Society. Basically they’re a play on the old joke post about Spider-Man’s webs being something he made rather than his powers meaning that he could have thought he was a Cockroach-Man or something. Camel-Spider changed their name to fit, but adamantly refused to start using Web Blasters, they just jump from rooftop to rooftop brute force their way through problems.

[tickle-bugs]

Lil idea for the 3 Peter Parkers!

Peter 1, the youngest, often gets snarky with the older two "brothers". They both eventually decide theyve had enough of his jabs about their age, and team up on him, working together to tickle him to bits and teach him to respect his elders

Attitude Adjustment

Okay so if you’re like me and literally can’t keep the numbers straight: peter one (referred to just as Peter here) is tom holland’s spidey, peter two is tobey maguire’s, and peter three is andrew garfield’s. I felt SO silly writing in the numbers but there really is no other way LOL

Also, au where they’re in sort of a Spiderverse situation and the other spideys are trying to figure out how to get back to their dimensions. Absolutely no canon, just vibes. 

“Hey Pete? How do you work this thing?” Peter Two huffs and flails his hands around through the holographic energy core in front of him. It spins listlessly, unsure how to interpret his gestures, and beeps at him. 

“Comin’.” Peter rolls off the couch, chucking his phone onto the rickety coffee table. His new place was small, achingly so, but it was starting to come together nicely. He had pictures on the walls, a rug on the worst spot of the floor, and a bedframe. All progress was good progress. 

“Show me how you’re doing it?” Peter squishes beside Two, who sort of swats at the hologram like an irritating bug. 

“Oh, okay. So, uh, the hologram maps its movements according to your fingertips. If it can’t get a good read, it’s not gonna respond. Here, like this.” Peter pulls his hands into the projected image, twitching his fingertips and twirling his wrists. The simulated core spins and zooms at his whim. Eventually, the image flashes green, and a small loading bar picks up at the bottom. 

“Neat.” Peter Two watches in awe as the computer begins to synthesize his formula. He idly spins the image around. “We didn’t have anything like this growing up. It’s crazy.”

“Glad I could help, grandpa.” Peter grins, giving Two’s shoulder a good-natured squeeze. Two rolls his eyes and shoos him away. 

“What a nice young man, helping the elderly,” Peter Three hums from the ceiling, typing away at his laptop as if his life depends on it. He looks a bit like a goblin, or maybe a vampire, hunched over all of them. 

“I do my part.” Peter salutes, flips back over the couch, and pulls his phone back into his hand with a web. He’d lost his place in the Fantastic Four interview he was reading. He sighs. 

“You both are hilarious,” Peter Two grumbles, watching a holographic array of complex mathematics spin in front of him. 

Peter sinks down into the couch, into the quiet buzz of technology and Peter Three’s terrifying typing. It’s not silence, not quite, but it still gnaws into his bones in a way he doesn’t like. He’s been avoiding being Peter as much as he can lately, instead staying out on patrol as late as his body can handle. Collapsing on a rooftop as Spider-Man is easier than coming back to Peter Parker’s shithole apartment. 

Spending time with people like him, people who get it, it’s…nice. Steadying. He knows it’s going to crush him when they leave, but having them now is more than he could ever ask for. He has no one, but he has them. 

“Hey.” Peter leans over the back of the couch and waves at Three. “Need help?”

“Hm? No, I’m good. Still compiling that list of compatible metals. Hoping to keep this matter projector the size of a rubix cube. Or, worst case scenario, like a suitcase.” Peter Three gnaws at his lip, then squints at his screen. He flings out a web and snags his glasses, catching them out of midair. He puts them on with care, pinning the laptop to his upside-down lap with his free hand. After fiddling with the lenses, he gets them to balance properly. 

“You’re still squinting.” Peter chuckles. 

“It’s part of the creative process.” Three waves an idle hand, then squints more aggressively. “I, uh--I’ve got shit eyesight. It’s fine.”

“The spider bite didn’t fix your vision?” Peter furrows his brow. 

“It did, but I wrecked it again. Too much blue light, too many flashbangs to the face--it all takes a toll, y’know? You should be grateful your eyes still work. Take care of them while you have them.” Peter Three nods sagely. He grabs his mug of long-cold coffee with a web and brings it carefully to his hands. He sips, gags, then comes back for more. 

“Okay, dad.” Peter huffs with no venom. He tries not to be jealous that Three can drink upside down. He’s tried. Repeatedly. 

“You have a remarkable amount of attitude for someone so tiny.” Three stares at him over the rim of his glasses, which shouldn’t be as funny as it is. Peter snorts. 

“Right? It’s his tone,” Peter Two hums. The computer chirps at him that his equation is only sixty percent viable, would you like to try again? He thunks his head into the desk. Three’s mug slowly lowers itself down beside him. Two takes a sip, gags, and deposits the mug in the sink. Three balls up a piece of paper and throws it at his head. 

“Alright, I’m starting to go a little stir crazy. How about we take a break?” Peter Two stretches, popping something in his back. He does the ‘keys, wallet, phone’ patdown on himself, turning in circles to make sure he’s set. 

“Like a patrol break?” Peter perks up. 

“No, a dinner break. I’m starving, and God knows when you two last ate. Or slept.” Two hazards a glance towards Three. 

“Oh, I’m good. Go without me.” Peter Three keeps typing. Two’s glare chills the room a few degrees. He pointedly clears his throat. 

“Y’know what, actually? A break sounds great. Super on board with the, uh, the break time.” Peter Three closes his laptop and flips down off the ceiling. He stumbles as he lands, hissing in pain. The laptop goes flying, but Peter just manages to snag it with a web. He cradles it to his chest. 

“Thanks.” Three nods. Peter nods back. The room collectively sighs in relief. 

“Is it your, uh--” Two maneuvers to support Three as best he can. They limp over to the corner of the kitchen together. 

“My back, yeah. Shitshitshit.” Peter Three inhales tightly and leans up against the counter. He tips his head back against the cabinets and focuses on breathing. 

“It just, uh--well, it locks up sometimes. No clue why.” Three shrugs, then winces. 

“I think I have some painkillers. If it’ll help.” Peter sets the laptop down. Three smiles thinly at him. 

“I’ll take you up on that. I’m usually fine after a few minutes. Just gotta wait it out.” Three winces again, gripping the countertop hard. The cheap vinyl cracks with the force of it. Peter tries not to wonder if he’ll have to pay for that--instead, he fishes out the pitifully empty bottle from his coffin-sized bathroom. 

“Gimme your hands.” Peter Two crowds in front of Three and starts helping him stretch, slow and steady. After a heart-wrenching cry of pain, Three hums appreciatively. He twists side to side, working out as many sore spots as he can. Peter shakes the bottle at him and tosses it. He catches it and dry swallows the pills. 

“Hm.” Peter leans against the wall. 

“What?” Two huffs.

“Nothing.” Peter shakes his head with a smile. Fondness blooms warm in his chest. May used to tell him that he’s the only person who knows how to take care of himself best, what he needs. He wonders if she ever thought it would manifest this way. 

“Alright, c’mon. What old man joke are you sitting on right now?” Two crosses his arms. His amusement is contagious. 

“I wasn’t going to make fun of you!” Peter laughs.

“One day you’re gonna be a twenty-something with a bad back. You’re gonna be like ‘oh wise and mysterious Peter, please help me with my ailing spine’. Then you’ll get it.” Three grunts. He loudly cracks something in his back and all of them wince. 

“What am I gonna do? Do a backbend over your walker?” Peter snickers. Three gasps and splutters, sending both of them into actual laughter. They’re terrible influences on each other. 

“You are such a brat.” Two chuckles, mostly in disbelief. Peter sticks his tongue out at him. 

“Were you like this?” Two jerks a thumb toward Peter. Three quirks a smile and regards Peter for a bit--the defiant jut of his chin and the fire in his eyes are heartwarming. 

“I mean…yeah. Kinda. Just tall.” Three smirks.

“I’m not short.” Peter scoffs. Two and Three exchange a glance. Three leans on Peter’s head. Peter swats his arm away. 

“You’re barely taller than me!” Peter huffs, throwing his hands in the air. 

“First step is acceptance, buddy.” Two pats his shoulder. “Let’s get our shawarma on.”

Peter Three stifles his laughter into his fist, squinting in mirth through crooked glasses. Peter groans, smacking his face into his palm. He’s hiding a smile, though, and it makes Two smile in turn. 

“What?”

“Let’s get our shawarma on?” Peter snickers, his shoulders shaking. 

“Yeah, I can’t defend you. That was corny.” Three leans into Peter and soon they’re both giggling, set off by each other’s goofiness. 

“You sound like a dad!” Peter giggles. 

“Scratch that. We’re not going anywhere until we cure you of this attitude.” Two raises an eyebrow. Peter giggles at him which, while adorable, Two cannot stand for. 

“You gonna send me to my room? Ground me? Oooh, I’m so scared--” Peter snorts, then he’s upside down. Peter Two’s got him around the waist like a sack of potatoes. He lets out an affronted squeak and tries to reach for the floor. 

“Whatareyoudoing--” All the breath leaves Peter in a hefty woosh as Two worms his fingers into his sides. He squeals, his legs flailing wildly. He tries to pry Two’s hands away but gravity isn’t his friend at the moment. 

“Spider deterrent,” Two says, deathly serious, but Peter can hear him smiling. Bastard. 

“Nononohoho! Tickling is cheating!” Peter cackles, all hope of playing tough long gone with his breath. No matter which way he tilts, Two’s fingers are waiting to torment him--and he seems to have quickly figured out just how deathly ticklish his stomach is. Almost like he knew already. 

“I didn’t know there were rules--” Peter Two ducks out of the way of an accidental kick-- “Hey! Violence is not the answer!”

“Gonna v-violence your stuhupid fahahace! Lemme go!” Peter growls, prying at Two’s wrists again. Two tuts at him and vibrates his fingers into Peter’s stomach. He shrieks and kicks his legs, all pent-up energy with nowhere to go. 

“Aren’t you gonna help?” Peter gasps at Three, his voice way higher pitched than he’d like. His face is redder than his suit, little giggles still slipping free. He’s (mostly) deathly serious about murdering Two if he can just get out of this. 

“Yeah, come help!” Two grins, beckoning Three over with a tilt of the head. Peter Three disappears out of Peter’s line of sight and he allows himself an evil grin. 

“We’re gonna kick your--” Peter loses the last half of his threat to a yelp, then frenetic giggling as Three claws at his ribs. Peter screeches in betrayal and tries to swat at him, but he’s far from coordinated and it tickles, oh my god--

“Sorry. More afraid of him than I am of you.” Peter Three grins sheepishly, but his eyes shine with mischief. He walks his fingers up under Peter’s arms and he screeches loud enough to make a dog down the hall start barking. He lets out a snort and desperate syllables tumble out to follow. He manages to elbow Two in the gut and nearly gets dropped on his head for the trouble.

“S-Sorry! Tickles!” Peter hiccups and clamps his arms to his sides. 

“You are so squirmy!” Two tosses him over the back of the shitty couch. Peter squeals at the sudden change in gravity, but then he’s squealing because they both follow him over the couch. 

“I-I’m gonna get a noise complaint! Guys!” Peter throws his head back against the armrest and cackles, shoving at the two of them. He’s not sure where the ceiling is anymore, everything’s sort of spinning, but the slight burn in his chest is grounding. 

“Alright, alright.” Two lays off and Three follows suit. Peter flings his arm over his face and tries to remember the sweet embrace of oxygen.

“Oho man. You guys suck.” Peter peeks at them with a goofy smile. 

“Spider deterrent. Works like a charm.” Two puts his hands on his hips. Three leans up behind him and goes to poke his side, but Two catches his hand. 

“Don’t. Do not.” Two points at Three threateningly. Three holds his hands up in surrender, but his grin is anything but innocent. He and Peter lock eyes.

“Spider deterrent, huh?” Peter leans up on his elbows with a cocky grin. “Every experiment needs multiple trials, right?”

“You’re both menaces.” Two grapples with Three, occasionally twitching but still putting up a fight. Peter manages to poke him a few times and get his arm caught, but Two can’t fight both of them.

A hush befalls the room as Peter Two visibly weighs his options, trying not to crack from Three’s pinching at his ribs. 

Two throws himself over the couch, followed by Three, and Peter eggs them on from the safety of the couch. It’s like watching cats wrestle, really--there’s an indistinguishable tangle of limbs and shouting before Peter Three’s shocked cackle emerges from the pile. 

“P-Peter! Help!” Three wheezes, holding his hand out for rescue.

“Oh, you want my help? Yeah, sure, I’ll help.” Peter cackles evilly, kicking off the couch and launching himself at Three.

“Wait, hold on--”

…

“98 percent viable. We did it,” Peter Two breathes, holding the hologram in his hands. The simulated core spins lazily. After hours of calibration and recalibration, the algorithm finally holds steady. Three squeezes his shoulder and laughs quietly, happily. They’re going home. 

“Should we tell him?” Three casts a glance over to the couch. Peter’s out cold, curled up under a threadbare blanket that refuses to let go of its musty smell. Despite the bags under his eyes, he looks peaceful. 

“Tomorrow. You both still owe me shawarma.” Two smiles, knocking their shoulders together. 

[mosscoveredpawss]

Hiya, Moss!

Just saw you reblogged an ‘asks list’ a few days ago so I’m snatching the opportunity 👀

🕸️ Do you often connect with your theriotype(s)? If yes, how?

🪱 What are some things that remind you of your theriotype(s)?

🦦 What candle scent would you say describes your theriotype(s)?

⭐️ If you have multiple theriotypes: how are you handling it? Do your theriotypes “mesh” well together, or are you struggling with having multiple identities?

Please feel free to just answer the ones you’re comfortable with!

- Yarrow 🐻‍❄️

Omg hiii Yarrow!! Thank you so much for the ask!!!

🕸 - I often connect to my theriotypes through clothing! Wearing green clothes makes me feel SUPER goblin and I have 2 graphic t-shirts with bears on them! Jewelry also really helps, like my earrings that have crystals on them and my bear claw necklace. Being outside in general also helps me connect to my kintypes.

🪱 - A lot of the time it's songs that remind my of my kintypes. Right now the song "Roots" by The Arcadian Wild is giving bear vibes. I take lyrics from songs (mainly folk songs) and I snatch them and "I'm going to make this about alterhumanity."

🦦 - For my goblin kintype I think something earthy would work really well. Something with Lavander and Sage. And for my bear kintype I think something with "river" in the name. I actually got homemade goat milk soap that was like "moon river" something something and I think it had eucalyptus in it!

⭐️ I am Goblinkin and I am Bearkin! For the most part they stay separate, although both kintypes cause me to want to run away into the forest and never return. I am also Violet Green Swallow 'hearted, which means that I have a familial connection with the pretty lil birds. Also, I am forest angel constelic, which means I get wing shifts and I feel as if my purpose is to protect the flora ad fauna, it's my duty.

Once again tysm for the ask! This was a lot of fun to do!!!

[ninebaalart]

Spider-Man Villains (Part 1)

A follow up to the Spider-Men pieces, my take on five different Spider-Men villains.

Green Goblin - I took inspiration from the Raimi Spider-Man design of Green Goblin, which probably was my first exposure to the character- although I also took inspiration from Evangelion mechs. There's those pops of purple I also implemented to sort of make it so it's not just entirely green, although I did try to keep that iridescent metal shading that gives off that purple tint that the Raimi suit had.

Kindred - Kindred is one of those villains I think just needs some tweaking to make truly great. I sort of took inspiration from The Lich but also generally giving him a bit more of a "look". Had to include the centipede.

White Rabbit - White Rabbit's white face kind of gives me the feeling I do seeing a clown- bad vibes. I sort of took some inspiration from a more obscure appearance from her but also DVA. Gave her those bugged out eyes.

The Prowler (Hobie Brown) - So like, Hobie Brown is The Prowler in the 616 continuity, Hobie wasn't like, designed to be Spider-Punk. That came later. I sort of went back to those roots but bringing in that Spider-Punk vibe to the design as well. It was really fun!

Mania - In my mind, Andrea Benton is absolutely friends with this version of Hobie. They're not so much villains as they are against the establishment. Her design is mostly faithful but I gave her sort of a more turtleneck hoodie influence, adding tongue "drawstrings" that makes her just look a little alien and offputting.

[lanaevyssmoved]

helloooo Afhiri sounds SO lovely. can you tell me more about how they feel at the start of act 1 about her predicament with the tadpoles, her companions, etc etc if you want!!

it might be cruel to say that they're pretty damn simple . actually no its not ive decided theyre pretty damn simple. literally wakes up and has a panic attack because where is flute?? where flute?? WHERE. FLU TE? flute was no where to be seen (depression). a very sad clown exploring this ship literally with minimum interest because flute :( flute :( this is a child who has lost their autistic hyperfixation toy.

lae'zel is hot. the sword scene is hot. hiri has immediate gay panic and forgets flute for 2 whole seconds. asks lae'zel if seen flute. lae'zel doesn't even know what a flute is.. smh. sticks around because was told to. does whats told (for now........ ominous.) so to start lae'zel is literally party lead this clown is NOT a protagonist (for now...... no im not making that joke twice)

SHADOWHEART IS HOT... absolutely ignores lae'zel to free shadowheart. literally dumbass tries to pull the door off. lae'zel ends up being the one like "maybe u should look around if u INSIST on saving this HALF ELF." frees shadowheart :) oh my god you have an autistic hyperfixation too?? your rock is so cool!!!!!!!

the flute is not rescued. please F's in chat for the lost flute of afhiri's childhood. her father made her that flute and it's DEAD. AND THERE WASN'T EVEN TIME FOR A FUNERAL.

the first thing they do after hoarding all of the fish on the beach like a little goblin creature is find gale's portal. shiny. Oh My God is that an arm without a body? that is Soooo cool...... high fives. they free him of course!!! used bard Magicks to calm that shit down and free the silly man. she finds him SOOO silly. he is such a silly little guy. his lil expressions and hand movements are SO funny. she wants to get acting classes from him so she can be just as funny and then she'll rank up in Clown. she's sure of it. (he is a clown to her. a truly excellent clown. there's real talent..........)

after that she gets knife throat by astarion :( not very nice of you :( i would have given you money if u wanted :( oh not a robbery? OH WE'RE WORM BUDDIES? friendship acquired :) they genuinely don't have any more thoughts rly at the start because he is mean and she doesn't understand its mean and looks at him stupidly like a dog who cannot understand the new word u just said. tilts head :)

their friendship stat is SO high all of a sudden. this clown has had NO friends their entire damn life (weirdo coded) and suddenly they've got SOOO many best friends oh my god they're so excited for the campfire stories hehee :)

next is oh my godd its the hot. gi..gi... Girlfriend? :) no its gith u stupid clown. get pied. ANYWAY tells the tieflings some absolute BULLSHITERY. this clown is So good at lying (this is a positive. their moral code is kinda messy.) and frees lae'zel :) shadowheart doesn't trust lae'zel but how can you Not when she's Also Green? I'm Green? You're Green? Da Ba Dee

after that its oh my god is that A GOBLIN? never seen a goblin before. finds them extremely cute. they're also kind of green (positive). and A WARG? can i PET IT? No? It'll eat me? bite off my hand? chew up my suit? this is supreme sadness. wait- flute still gone. that's supreme sadness. ALSO WYLL IS FUN!!!! wyll gives her fairytale hero prince vibes and is absolutely fascinated and thinks as a bard should sing of his tale because hes so cool (please don't trust them. they will make him sound like a fool.)

hearing about the spooky scary teeth-ling from wyll is super!! exciting!!!! a devil?? fought in devil war?? fire?? death?? epic story . we must find out more (not to kill. to talk to. must have some REALLY COOL STORIES!!!) very easy to convince wyll not to kil- OH MY GOD HOT?? HOT? ?? literally hot. this is the most Supreme Gay Panic. afhiri never thought about girls (or boys) like this before. none of the Lads give the Panik.. but these girls are a little too much (fainting vibes) also karlach is so fun :) daydreams about karlach throwing her like a javelin into battle

the tadpole though :/ they don't know!! everyone keeps saying. bad! evil! bad! removal! death! kill! and they're like :/ idk guys.. worms are kinda cute. u ever seen a worm do a lil wiggle on some mud? its so cool.. i wish i was a worm..... everyone is concerned. do not trust them with decisions (they trust them with decisions. they are All stupid.) they name the worm. the worm is named little buddy. it's not creative. it's not a name. but this is Little Buddy and she talks to her little buddy sometimes. she even wrote it a song. (she doesn't consume more little buddies. that's weird.. this is HER little buddy and those are OTHER little buddies. there's only one little buddy for her....)

extra: GUARDIAN. oooohhhhh my god .. never seen someone soooooo CLOWN. (this is false. guardian looks nothing like a clown. theyre projecting HARD. guardian plays along because this is clearly going to work better than being Hot and Mysterious). trust them explicitly (reminder: not smart), treats like another Best Friend like the squad. gets sad they don't ever join them in camp for her performances. does private performances sometimes :)

DOUBLE EXTRA: the possession.. of Flute 2.

a daring tale of (gale takes some of the squads money and buys them a flute. cannot bare to see the sad puppy dog eyes any longer.) AN INCREDIBLE ADVENTURE OF PERIL AND DANGER... THERE WAS GNOLLS AND GOBLINS AND MAYBE A BEHOLDER!!!!! gale.. an incredibly brave adventurer.. this is going in his next song

[sarahhillips]

This Just In, We’re Back to Libertys Kids While Higher Than Ben Franklins Kite

New York New York

Gotta be one of my favorites because of how smooth that guy was

Why isn’t this the national anthem? I want someone singing this before every football game

American history but make it so sugarcoated that everyone gets diabetes

Mom I like your friends house

Black Dick, your telescope sir

James that collar looks great, stop whining and be the queen you are

James is like fuck she’s conservative af too

Omg that cute yankee soldiers looking at me ☺️

I’m just gonna get out if this march to try an get some

James should have started cackling after her ‘I’m English’ comment. It would make Udneys comeback way smoother.

“I give you my strong arm for your protection” “BRO WTF GET BACK IN LINE”

Almost got it Udney.

“Can I come?” “NO”

Strategy is important

“This is a PAID internship” “Ok hell ya”

“What do they know about running a country?” Mrs. Radcliffe spitting facts.

Whot are you doin in ma swamp?

They really let Henri get snatched like that 

“Because they can’t fly” Damn

“General Howe is welcome to him” DAMN

Henri wtf

Henri blew up the Sept, not Cersei

“I found Ugly and he told me what happened.”

Welp, the British have New York

Black Dick took Manhatten.

One Life To Lose

Ah yes, this was when they saw a nice man get hanged for creepin’

I feel like the sound of his neck snapping and the sight of his limp body would make Sarah faint if they were ballsy enough to include that

Wow these dudes were fat

And the proof is in the pudding

Oy the drunkin sailor be back

Sarah is so bored

The Brits are stealing American men

The old man was like “Get tf out of here”

Nathan cuts in so randomly it does not feel natural.

She did the full curtsy for him

Mr. Hale so hot he’s got all the girls curtsying.

Nathan, why are you telling them all this?

Sarah is totally flirting with him.

So wait, Admiral Howe and General Howe are different people

God damn it how did I not know this

They’re spying on a spy. The irony

Nathan WTF

Don’t tell me this is actually how he got caught is it

There come these three stooges

I think James has been kidnapped way more than Sarah could ever be despite her damsel in distress demeanor

Nathan is ballsy af

James said I’m staying

Sarah said I’m gonna hitchhike.

Here it comes ya’ll

“He’s actually quite gracious and cultured when you get to know him.” Ok Jane Austin.

And now they’re Hillips shippers

“So, when is the big day?” And then it transitions to them years later at the alter, Sarah wearing a nice green dress with gold butterflies and a veil and James in a nice blue suit with a hat, and you hear the priest say ‘I pronounce thee Man and Wife.’

“Anyways, Nathan’s hangin out with the redcoats today.”

These men are so burning in hell for how they treated these people

They wouldn’t even draw in a noose

The sight of Nathan at the gallows causing Sarah to cling to James’ arm tho

Alright James time to write this article

Captain Molly

Ok but an episode where Henri accidentally joins a mafia

THE JAM STAYS

Ben be going on another cruise

Sarah’s insulted Washington won’t let her come

And here comes Molly

Henri giving off autistic vibes here

Rosemary, that is French silk you crotch goblin

Damn Molly

“Sarah, she’s English!”

“I don’t ask permission to do nothin’!” Sarah, let those words inspire your character.

Dad Moses mode activated

James got passionate there

You can forget about those eight to ten kids Molly

Well Sarah now you’re seeing a lil bit about why King George is evil

They brought in tHe bagpipes for their funerals.

I’m surprised the redcoats didn’t hold all those women and children hostage.

James is so happy Sarah’s alive

Molly was another woman school didn’t teach me about.

American Crisis

Henri has a soldiers spirit

Moses you’re too calm about Henri running away

Traveling by ship must have been mentally trying for everyone.

These dudes are not ok

Henri 😭

When a little French boy smelling of onions sneaks into your camp in a barrel.

Thomas Paine is back 🩷

Writers block is a bitch

Do you think Paine would like the movie Soul

“We’re walking to Philadelphia.”

Omg Moses no

A printing press is large enough to bone on. Just saying.

Tom said “I will beat yo ass in with this log.”

Imagine putting all those letters together by hand

“Hold your breeches”