#given how many times the episode has been about the fucking cake

[baku-links-the-weirdo]

What the fuck

You’re in line for a slice of cake. The sign says “Absolutely no seconds”, and there are armed guards.

[waitmyturtles]

Fuck. I have more on The Eighth Sense. (I’m gonna get all Moonlight Chicken-meta on this show!) (First big meta here.)

1) I loved the scene in episode 6 of the two guys having roadside snacks at the rest stop. There was a LOT going on in those scenes at that stop, but I particularly liked their conversation on the bench, because it indicated a lot of the pressures that Jae Won faces. Lines like: “We are always living in other’s [sic] frameworks in this world.” “Don’t try to get out of the box.”

And then Ji Hyun takes a bite of the sausage-and-rice-cake skewer, the very food they were criticizing a moment before as being stereotypical of that “box,” and clearly enjoys it. 

What does that say to me? It says to me that Jae Won is putting a lot of WORK to be IN the box that I think he’s in -- the chaebol-influenced box that his life is being directed towards. That pressure is driving him so insane that, again, I think he’s having dissociations because of that pressure. 

But I love how gently this scene indicates that pressure, that reality that Jae Won is burdened under. And that at this moment, he has no choice but to live in the box. And pretend to enjoy it.

2) And (eff Viki for not allowing screenshots), please enjoy this shitty-ass photo (lol) of the bench the guys are sitting on, because I think that this bench shot was brilliantly done.

That ghostly person always by Jae Won’s side. 

3) The man operating the roadside stand. Giving things away to the two guys because he thought they were cute. 

I wish I could parse more the meaning of the trot soundtrack that the guys were given. I know very little about trot, except that it’s considered in many ways, “old folks” music, although there are many new artists today who are popular trot singers. I wonder if the trot soundtrack is meant to indicate to the guys a remembrance of happier times.

And the roadside guy himself. He also serves as evidence (to me, at least) that the entire episode was a dissociative experience, becauuuussee: call me a cheap auntie, but what’s this guy doing, giving stuff away?! Lol. Fireworks are expensive!

But also. I got this feeling (PLEASE feel free to NOT roll with me on this one, because it was ONLY a fleeting thought) that maybe that guy was meant to be a reflection of Jae Won’s father, IF Jae Won’s dad accepted him for who he was. (THIS IS ONLY A FLEETING THOUGHT, NOT EVEN A THEORY -- just something that popped in my head as I was watching the episode. Don’t quote me on this one! I don’t think Jae Won’s dad would give away free fireworks, lol!)

Why did I think that? The guy had no reaction when Jae Won said he was traveling with his “boyfriend.” It made me wonder that Jae Won wanted to live in a world where he could say that so easily. That he could speak to people, to older men in his life, who would accept Jae Won for who he was/is as a queer man. 

4) Last thought. I don’t know the reality of Ji Hyun being a part of the Sea Cadets, but something that REALLY worried me in the first episode was Joon Pyo saying to Ji Hyun, upon peeping the Surf Club’s website on Ji Hyun’s computer — that Ji Hyun couldn’t swim.

If Ji Hyun had been a part of a school team called the Sea Cadets that exposed him to the ocean, then… okay. But that was revealed in what I think was the dissociative episode 6.

So I feel like I can only go by what Joon Pyo said in episode 1, and think that Ji Hyun isn’t familiar with ocean swimming.

I surfed for like, a mini-season once in my twenties (it was RADDDDDD, but expensive, and I am not a morning person to get up so early to catch waves). (But I highly recommend trying it, because catching a wave even on a longboard can be such a high.)

Anyway, during that time, I basically only swam and lifted weights to train. I can’t quite remember the rule of thumb for how many meters you needed to be able to swim in a certain amount of time to be considered a safe surfer, but I know I had to practice for a solid week, every day, to get to that goal, because I didn’t swim regularly before then. And then I spent the summer only swimming as cardio. Surfing — with all the paddling out, the fight against the waves as you paddle out, the balancing on your board as you wait for a wave to come in — is EXHAUSTING. You burn maaaajor calories with surfing and training. (Jae Won not being hungry for ramen after that first session is suspicious.)

Not a single surf instructor in the world would let someone who couldn’t swim anywhere near the longest longboard you could find. An instructor wouldn’t let a non-swimmer surf on a fucking mattress. At least, the instructors I knew back in mah day. I don’t know how it is now, if you were to take lessons at like, a resort. But I know I couldn’t have hired a teacher back then if I couldn’t swim.

One rule you have to learn is how to dismount the board when you wash out — the boys do it correctly on the show, you kind of tuck in and jump off the side with your butt splashing down first.

But anything can happen. A common occurrence is you washing out first, with your board flying above you (it’s connected to your ankle, so it’s bound to slam down near you), and possibly smashing the top of your head.

So putting all of this together: if Ji Hyun did indeed drown? It may have been because he didn’t have the strong swimming skills he needed to surf properly. It’s interesting that we didn’t see the Surf Club vet for that prior to the first surf trip. And I gently wonder, if anything happens to Ji Hyun in the “reality” part of the show, if Jae Won blames himself for not knowing that Ji Hyun might not be able to swim.

Damn. This show is doing it to me. GAAAAAHHHH. @lurkingshan​.... you were so right about this show.

[fiercynn]

so @manogirl, @inventedfangirling, and @sharingfandoms all tagged me in the thai ql favorites tag game (thanks friends!), and i wasn't sure if i had enough to say about shows other than bad buddy to do it, but i figure you can't ever talk about bbs too much amirite

favorite thai ql: yeah so it's bad buddy, surprise surprise. i watched it all in the course of like 36 hours in february 2022, not long after it had ended, and it has been thoroughly stuck in my soul ever since. i've watched it so many times and in so many pieces that i couldn't even guess at a number. i've posted...uh...200k words of bad buddy fic in the past year and half? the obsession is real. it's just such a perfect mix of antagonistic and silly and tense and sweet and heartbreaking and healing that i keep going back to it over over. i love its narrative arc, and i love its little details, and i love all the ways we get to keep reinterpreting it over and over in fanworks. and i love the people i've met in the fandom, which is really hard to separate from the show! i've made really close and awesome friends here, which seems extremely fitting tbh. so yeah anyway i like that show a lot

favorite pairing: seems obvious given my previous answer, but patpran, followed closely by inkpa! idk i just think they're both neat and extremely in love

most underrated actor: JENNIE PANHAN I NEED HER IN EVERYTHING OKAY

favorite character: parakul siridechawat. he's just so in love you guys, even when (he thinks) it's hopeless. i love a character who pines. my sexuality is pining actually and pran's might be too (jk i love pran for many many many reasons but this is the one i felt like talking about today)

favorite side character: i think it has to be a tie between mae from 3wbf and longtae from a tale of thousand stars...two very different characters! i love mae in all her complexity, her efforts to be good and kind and empathetic that are interrupted by the death of the one person who was good and kind and empathetic towards her, and her search for revenge once he's gone, and then her ultimate realization that she needs to stop the cycle of violence even if it takes one more act of violence herself. meanwhile i love longtae because he is sweet and funny and adorable and such a good friend to literally everyone in pha phun dao and also it's khao, how could i not?

favorite scene in a ql: so if i type the letter "y" in my browser, the first search result is the youtube link to bad buddy episode 5 part 4/4. does that answer your question

favorite line in a ql: i thought i was going to struggle with this one but it came to me instantly: uncle tong from bad buddy saying, "you might think one man can't change the world. but i want you to know that this world can't change someone like me either." have i mentioned i am both queer and work in climate activism for a living

most anticipated ql (& why): 23.5 degrees the series!!!! i was already one million percent there for milklove but the recent confirmation of viewjune is just like the icingest of icing on the cake. i'm so fucking stoked you guys

i'm sorry i'm not going to answer the question on guilty pleasure series because like @manogirl i do not believe in the concept, nor the ones on healthiest vs. toxic relationships because i simply do not feel like it <3

most underrated series: hmm, most of the thai ql series i've seen are too well-known/watched to count for this. like would we call gap the series underrated? probably not, right? maybe...triage? but i personally felt like triage got pretty uneven in the second half...idk this is the problem with having mostly stuck to gmmtv huh

i really have not kept good track of who has done this meme already so ummmm @citystoryscapes @mahuhumaling @melto @mousieta @incandescentflower @galauvant @dancing-out-in-space

[browserfreak]

SPOILERS

no because fucking LOOK at adventure time

LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THE CLASSIC JAKE BUG DANCE IS

THE WATER PHYSICS

A whole fucking episode of people who've never seen the light that could've been covertly discriminative but instead features a commentary of how they use their strangerness with outside society and communicate with those in that outside society (finn and jake and at the end, leader of Super Porp) to take down a slave-like corporation WITH A STRONG FEMALE LEAD THAT STILL MANAGES TO BE CONCRETE, FUNNY, AND ALL IN THE CLASSIC AT STYLE!!!!!

PRISMO.

the islands miniseries in the middle of season 8? (I think) was a great transition piece from one part of the world to the other. While the other switches in the show are usually quite sudden, Islands is a long journey that ends in a crucial plot point being revealed (the origin of finn) and more worldbuilding (about the apocalypse) which changes the outlook of ooo (also it includes susan strong)

ignore the shitty framerate of this gif but LOOK at the shading of the ice kingdom. it shows a real understanding of colour and. as a fan of this sort of shading I fucking. fucking love it

THIS SHOOOOOT im gonna DIE.......................

despite being an ice king who can summon anything frozen / cold at will, simon is clearly Not an interior design expert in this form and has the aesthetics of the r/malelivingspace subreddit

Most of the adventures they get into have some sort of "moral", but the themes creating the moral are put into situations that feel real - its not just, oh here's a sword, hero boy, go defeat those freakish monsters! The characters, even ones used for the butt of jokes (ahem. candy people. princesses.) are still fleshed out and given goals and reasoning. A purpose to BE THERE. That's what makes them so real - their goals and their purpose getting helped or inconvenienced by the plot, and how they react to that with other characters and the world. And the "moral", "outcome", "ending line" whatever you wanna call it, is made by characters. It's FUCKING MASTERFUL.

(also I cannot pick one image for this because THIS. look at how many fucking minor characters there are. and for every one of them I can remember the episodes they're in (except for maybe the stock candy people))

^^^^^^^^^ 901.

(I know not all of them are used for shits and giggles but probably a lot of them ARE)

(may I also say that cinnamon bun is one of the best comedy relief characters I've seen? Despite being only treated as a dumb idiot punching bag by the other characters, he manages to help Finn and Jake sometimes, while still not losing any of his childish comedy relief charm. Also he's a fucking flame kingdom warrior later on which is the sickest shit.)

IM GONNA DROP A FAVOURITE EPISODE LIST TO THIS AND MAYBE SOME MORE FAV CHARACTERS!!!

ALSO DOES ANYONE KNOW IF CAKE AND FIONNA IS GOOD IT LOOKS GOOD BUT I WANNA KNOW BEFORE I GO LOOKING FOR IT BECAUSE IT TAKES HASSLE TO FIND SHOWS ONLINE!!!

[iguessitsjustme]

My Only 12% Ep 7 Thoughts

-Just diving right into this one with no food. But still got my blanket and Totoro. So that should help with the pain? Maybe I’ll eat some Cheetos

-Oooooohhh they’re fighting. Oh Eiw just asked the one question that would hurt Cake the most. “Were you there for me to talk to.”

-This hug is nice and the fight is over but their underlying issues weren’t addressed. It’s weird but I think their communication is so good that it’s actually causing a problem. Because when they need time to figure things out they aren’t given enough time before they need to talk to each other about it. 

-Do not say “I can give you everything” like that when I did not get another piece of cheesecake before this episode. Y’all trying to kill me?

-Hom very clearly worried about the age difference with Cake’s friend that’s hitting on her but she can’t be that much older? Maybe 2-3 years at most. I would really like to know the actual age difference here. 

-I do like that this scene is them rehearsing. This is the first time I actually like this trope being used. Fascinating. 

-Eiw is really too nice. He has a capacity for forgiveness that I just don’t have.

-Actually Eiw being an absolute angel right now is probably making Sand feel worse so I like that. Sand should feel awful. For a really long time. 

-Oh dad let it slip at the table before Cake told Eiw. 

-Do not hold his hand while telling him. I will pass out. 

-I’m okay. I’m very okay. As someone who has had to say goodbye like this to so many friends, this hurts. This hurts so much. I might actually cry. And that is damn hard to do. I don’t cry. Even when I want to. But this show might get me. 

-Just ouch. Pain. Oh boy oh pain. Forced separation is one hell of a stab in my heart. Even seeing it coming didn’t lessen the blow. 

-And I’ve been told the next episode is even MORE painful. How???? Is my heart supposed to be able to take this? Man fuck this up down and sideways. Give those boys a hug. 

-Whatever is on that table, I want to eat it. Feed me and let me eat my feelings please and thank.

[seasonofthewicth]

Rowaelin Month - Day 9

prompt: co-hosts with chemistry

extras: podcaster!rowaelin, friends to lovers, tooth-rotting fluff!

word count: 2k

--

The podcast had originally been Lysandra’s idea.

She had deemed their regular conversations dissecting each of their dating lives too entertaining to keep to themselves and so it had begun. It hadn’t been very successful and they had only managed to wrangle a small number of subscribers, mostly consisting of their friends and reluctant family members. They’d had fun, but when Lysandra moved to the Southern Continent they hadn’t bothered to keep it up.

Then Aelin got drunk with Fenrys and his new roommate Rowan.

Her drunken self had thought it a fabulous idea to whip out her phone and hit record when Fenrys had begun to weave his story of the beautiful Asterin and her ruthless rejection, Rowan chipping in with quips that always made her cheeks feel a little warmer. That and the sparkle in his green eyes each time he looked at her.

She’d been intrigued by Rowan on day one. He was everything Aelin felt herself drawn to in one big package. Tall, handsome, tattoos, wicked sense of humour, didn’t take any shit, constantly gave her shit. She was charmed.

Until the podcast had taken off.

The inebriated episode featuring Fenrys and Rowan had landed her with a few thousand subscribers. And she had wanted to continue.

Fenrys had rejected her outright, claiming he didn’t need any more public humiliation, the Asterin story had been enough and she understood, but Rowan…

She’s not sure why she even asked Rowan. They weren’t friends, the episode they’d recorded had been the first night they met and they hadn’t spoken since but she’d laid the offer on the table anyway. Despite the fact that hearing all about Rowan Whitethorn’s dating exploits made her stomach twist.

What she knew of Rowan had told her he’d say no too. He hadn’t given her the impression of being particularly easy going, or that spending time with her in the absence of Fenrys would have been something he would consider. In fact, she’d wondered if he’d thought her desire to chat about something as frivolous as dating would be somewhat shallow or childish.

But then he’d said yes.

And so began their tradition. Every Thursday after his final class of the day and Aelin gets home from her office, she uncorks a bottle of wine and makes dinner. Rowan turns up at eight pm sharp each week, armed with a slice of chocolate hazelnut cake and his lilting and charming accent. They set themselves up at the desk in Aelin’s spare bedroom, each with a set of headphones and a microphone and they talk.

That started eight months ago.

Now they have hundreds of thousands of listeners, people who for some unknown reason like to listen to Aelin and Rowan. Aelin doesn’t get it, but here they are.

Aelin tucks her feet under her thighs and rests the arm holding her wine glass along the back of the sofa. They’ve just finished this week’s episode and she’s not ready for Rowan to leave just yet. He turns to her at the motion, a brow cocked in questioning. He looks good, very good.

The light from her TV highlights the cut of his jaw and plays off the silver strands of his hair, flopping onto his forehead. The green of his henley perfectly displays his golden skin and she’s desperately searching for glances of the swirls of ink that peek out of his neckline each time he shifts.

She thought that by spending more time with him her crush would fade. Except now she definitely has a thing for someone who has turned into one of her best friends.

“What’s up with you?” he asks, so aware by now of her moods. He knows when to wait and when to push her, when to joke and when to keep it real.

Aelin shrugs and the motion dislodges her neckline from her shoulder to part way down her arm. Rowan’s eyes dart down tracking the motion but flash back to hers once she speaks.

“I’m thinking about where we go next,” she says slowly. “I don’t know about you but I’m not dating very much recently and I wonder if I’m running out of funny dating stories.”

Rowan’s lips twitch and she uses the time before he speaks to desperately wonder what’s going on in his head. Then he moves his hand to her knee, his touch a comfort and a thrill, and her mind can only focus on that. Can only focus on how good it feels for him to touch her. She doesn’t have the capacity to worry where his head is at when his hands are on her.

“It’s not just you,” he says, on the same wavelength as her as always. “I don’t find myself on many dates anymore.”

He says it without even a whisper of shame, like he’s confident in why that is.

“I can’t tell if I’m thinking too much about the podcast,” she admits, “or if I just don’t want to do it anymore.”

He’s silent, which she usually uses as her prompt to continue, but his hand stays on her knee.

“I have an idea,” she says, shocked again as his eyes meet hers. “It won’t last forever, but I think it could give us a few episodes at least. We turn to other people. We get listeners to share their experiences, their horror stories, their life lessons, their advice, their failures. We give our comments, we compare them, we’re funny. I think it could work.”

She’s so nervous for his thoughts, his opinions matter to her, she wants his approval.

“I think it’s a great idea,” he says as a soft smile creeps onto his lips, tugging up his cheek and she wants to press her lips right there. “We can get people to submit their best stories, review them, add our own additions and commentary and we’re good for a while.”

He pauses, as though there’s more he wants to say. His hand on her knee squeezes and she craves more of his touch, wants his hand to slide higher, wants his fingers to entwine with hers.

Then he says, “I have an idea for an episode.”

She cocks her brow but he shakes his head.

“I need to think it through some more but I’ll let you know as soon as I have a more solid idea.”

It works and she’s relieved her lack of desire to date anyone who isn’t six foot four, silver haired and named Rowan Whitethorn hasn’t needed any expansion and hasn’t so far caused any major problems. Apart from the fact she finds herself getting lost when he talks, unable to respond right away because she’s too busy staring at his lips, his hands, his everything as he speaks.

She’s sure he’s probably noticed but he kindly hasn’t commented.

The idea to get content from their listeners leads her down a path she’s somewhat shocked to realise exists. She’s been trawling twitter to find their content and interacting with a lot more of their listeners and it’s led her to a small corner of twitter dedicated to her and Rowan.

She scrolls and scrolls through tweets that are convinced she and Rowan are either married, fucking or in love. Or if not yet already, they need to be. Aelin doesn’t disagree necessarily, but it’s weird to know people are thinking that, let alone tweeting it.

@/crochanqueen: Aelin’s laugh every time Rowan says something slightly amusing…. girl you’ve got it bad. He’s not that funny.

Gods, she hopes Rowan hasn’t seen these tweets. She needs to watch when she laughs.

“Next submission,” Rowan says, leaning forwards and speaking into his mic. He’s in his usual chair across from her and she has almost unlimited access to the sight of him in all his glory. No wonder it’s hard to concentrate when they record. “This guy says hi, I’ve got it bad for my best friend.”

Aelin swallows. She definitely needs to watch herself for this one.

“A tale as old as time,” she says with a breezy laugh.

“Right,” Rowan says, a tightness to his voice that wasn’t there before, before he turns back to his phone to continue reading. “We’ve known each other for a while now and we spend a lot of time together just the two of us and it’s as easy as breathing. We get along incredibly well, she makes me laugh and she makes me smile. She brightens my day.”

“Gods, this is so sweet,” she coos and Rowan gives her a tight smile. Okay, she’ll let him finish.

“She’s my best friend,” Rowan continues and Aelin bites her lip. “I want more but I don’t want to ruin what we have if she doesn’t feel the same.”

“Hm,” she says, twisting her hands on the table in front of her. She has to manage this one carefully, so as not to give too much away. “Is there any indication of whether she feels the same way?”

Rowan glances back to his phone. “He says; there are moments where I think she feels the same, there are moments where I think I could press my lips to hers and she’d kiss me back. There are moments she looks at me and it looks as though it would be impossible for her not to feel the way I do.”

“She sounds like a lucky girl,” Aelin says almost wistfully.

“You think?” Rowan asks, and she’s not sure his question makes sense.

“Don’t you?” she asks. “If they have these moments, moments where he could kiss her and she’d kiss him back, the moments where they get lost in each other's eyes, I don’t think those things can be made up.”

She ignores the way she always feels as though she catches herself in these moments with Rowan. She ignores them and plows straight on through.

“If he’s having these thoughts enough that they feel like a moment, they probably are.”

“Damn, Aelin.” Rowan smiles across the table. “Any advice for the poor guy?”

“Oh, it’s simple,” she says smoothly, “he has to tell her how he feels. Don’t waste any more time, if you’re reading her this way and she’s your best friend I think there’s very little chance you’ve got this wrong. If you’re listening to this,” she says leaning forwards so her voice is clear in the recording, “get the girl. Take a chance, tell her how you feel. Start small, ask her to go on a date.”

Rowan nods, the movement a sharp jerk but a smile plays on his lips. He looks up to her, his eyes meeting hers.

“Alright, Aelin. Go out with me. A date.”

She laughs, a bright sound, not allowing herself to jump to conclusions. “Is that what it says?”

His eyes flick back to his phone before he locks it and slides it onto the table. “It doesn’t say anything.”

“What do you mean?”

She’s very confused now. Is he playing with her? Has he noticed the way she feels? Surely Rowan isn’t so cruel to mock her like this.

“There’s no submission, it’s me, it’s you. Go out with me Aelin?”

Her mouth drops open.

“Go out with you? You like me?”

She’s stunned okay? Cut her a little slack.

He laughs, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. “This was quite possibly not my best idea,” he says. “To go about it like this. I thought it would have worked well.”

“You’re serious?” she says, a smile creeping into her voice.

“As a heart attack.”

She pulls her headset off, needing to feel this moment just the two of them. Rowan does the same, vulnerability shining in his gorgeous, green eyes.

“Rowan,” she breathes. “I’ve been into you since day one. I thought there was no way you were interested in me.”

She stands, rising from her chair and almost floating over to him until she stands between his legs. She gently rests a hand on his shoulder as she leans down. His hands come up to her waist and pull her onto his lap.

She settles with a smile as she reaches up to cup his cheek in her palm.

“I’ll edit this out tomorrow,” is all she says before she closes the gap between them, pressing her lips to his, sealing it with a kiss.

[garrothromeave]

I want your opinion on Kawaii Chan as a character (mystreet version) and her dynamic with Zane

ohhhh boy. okay so i won’t lie i don’t think my opinion is much different than a good handful of aphblr users, and that being:

ew. what.

now allow me to explain!

[real fast, i would like to say that i have not ever watched season 5 and i haven’t seen season 2 in years, so take this with a grain of salt. (i am aware to an extent about the character development she gets in season 5 and i will mention it, so don’t worry).]

to start it off simply, mystreet kawaii-chan is not an interesting character. she’s an annoying, obnoxious and stalker-y person, and that in itself is enough to make me want to turn off any episode with her in it. i’m not saying she doesn’t have potential to be a good character, because she… kind of does, if you really, really look hard enough, but the character she is that we’re given, in my opinion, isss shit.

not only is kawaii-chan the most annoying character i’ve ever come across (excluding kim because kim just takes the cake,) she’s actually a horrible influence in general. i’m going to speak from experience here. back in 2016/17, when i was first into mystreet, kc’s character made me genuinely think it was okay to ship friends in real life. and that i did, and it made manyyy people uncomfortable. and i look around and people are still doing this with kc’s influence, and that’s not good. her little “aarmau frenzie” thing she had going on was nothing more than to force watchers to consider aarmau and make her friends uncomfortable. (like, legit, kc was asked many times by aphmau to chill out on the whole aarmau thing and kc literally did nothing with that. it’s fucking awful.)

i think kc as a character was significantly more interesting character in mcd. but the moment she was thrown into mystreet, like many characters, she was done horribly dirty.

of course, i could also bring up the whole japanese anime girl stereotype, but that’s already been said so many times. just know that i agree with that as well. the uses of the whole ‘-chan’ and ‘-sama’ etc etc are actually rather inaccurately used on a general basis. (not saying all of them are, but… over time, yes, they’re just not right.) also back in the day that also influenced me and i was also using those terms on my friends anddd yikes… yeah please don’t do that.

and her character development. if i’m wrong about it, i apologize, because i’ve just heard things here and there about it. but from my understanding, her whole “kawaii-chan” persona was just that. a persona. something to make her stand out in her family. which — okay, yeah, i can see where her character could get better from here. she dials down how annoying she is after this i think, but i still don’t think that fully erases the three and a half seasons of her awful characterization. and i dunno, i just don’t like her so it’s hard for me to see her in a much better of a light :thumbs_up:

i feel like there’s much more to be said about her specifically, and yes there definitely is, but eh i don’t really like talking about her so i’m not going to go into major detail.

now for her and zane’s relationship and dynamic.

personally? whyyyy.

okay. look. i think their dynamic has a lot of potential. i just personally wouldn’t make it a romantic one. i feel like zane and kawaii-chan would be absolutely amazing friends given time, but the yin-yang dynamic was forced onto them and hard. i see the appeal, i do, but it seemed so sudden and it was mostly to just satisfy the zane-chan shippers (in my opinion). i love the idea of zane being able to open up around someone else, and based on interests alone kawaii-chan could have been that perfect person, but in the light it was given it falls flat. i can appreciate how zane helps her grow in s5 of course, but their relationship felt sudden and out of place. like why did zane even sneak her in anyways??

overall for their dynamic: yeah, okay, sure, but do it better at least.

final thoughts!

i just don’t like kawaii-chan lmao. she could have been something, but she’s not, andddd yeah. amen

[authoratmidnight]

Hearing that Delicious Party Precure is gonna be delayed by *at least* 3 episodes cause of the Toei hack it has me hoping it’s not gonna bugger up the storyline to much, like the covid break did for Healin Good (which was like, 2 months, so 8 eps).

Which got me thinking again about Daruizen and how I’m almost certain that his storyline got shafted(and the rest of them to a lesser extent). 

Listen. I’m a slut for a good villain, and from the series I’ve watched PreCure is very good at those. And I do enjoy a good redeemed villain, which Precure ALSO is good at. Except Healin Good didn’t get to redeem any of them which was sad to me cause like, many they deserved it (but esp Daruizen).

From start to finish their storylines are tragedies. And it’s a shame so many people boil him down to ‘he’s just an abuser’ (which, eh, I would argue no? but we’ll get there) and stop there.

Firstly, he was literally created from the pain and suffering of another person (Nodoka), which is pretty shit but he didn’t exactly have say in this. He didn’t go ‘I’m going to become a parasite on this person to gain energy and grow’, he wasn’t even really sentient until after he was pulled from her and given form and called back by King Byogen. He never had a say in his creation. Nor does he remember it. It took him till like, halfway through the series to begin to remember.

Then you have his existence. His entire existence causes the suffering of those around him. Which again, he didn’t have a say in. He didn’t decide to be an asshole that drains life from everything/everyone around him and thrives in a lifeless world. That’s just how he is. It makes me think of Darkrai from pokemon, how it causes nightmares in those around it by merely existing. It’s not choosing to cause these nightmares, it just does. Just like Daruizen.

And it sure doesn’t help that this is all he knows. And you know, King Byogen being all ‘turn this world into a wasteland so we can survive’ sure don’t help.

Which like, I can see why people would see this and go ‘abuser’, esp with his connection to Nodoka. But like, he literally *has* to do this to survive, he doesn’t have a choice in the matter, it’s literally ‘do this or just die’ and well, he obviously doesn’t want to die.

And then, to top off this shit cake of a life, he finds out that King Byogen, the one he’s dedicated his life to serving and reviving, doesn’t actually give a shit about him and intends (and may have intended from the start) to consume him to get stronger. Which is indeed what ultimately ends up happening. Which, man what the fuck?

How can you see all this and not see it as heartbreaking.

How can you look at all this and NOT think his entire life is just a tragedy. Yes he was a bad guy and did awful things, but you can be a shit person and still have a tragic story.

You best believe I was more than a bit upset by all this. I thought he was a neat character and, having come off Star Twinkle and Hugtto I was no stranger to this series redeeming their villains in some way so I figured they’d find some way to do the same for *at least* him.

But no. He ends up alone, scared and nothing but fuel for the BBEG. He never had the chance to be anything else. Literally right as he was beginning to realize for the first time what fear is like, what it’s like to want to live, to maybe start understanding where Nodoka was coming from, he’s just taken out. And he didn’t even a send off by way of magic healing purifying wave, which might have been a less cruel way to get rid of him. No he was just straight up mercilessly eaten. Whilst in pain and scared. Like, he turned himself into a Mega Byogen to try and save his own life cause he was that scared of dying, and all that happened was he got beat down, and then consumed while down. Like damn bro.

His story is a tragic one and idk how people can just, not see it.

Now obviously I have no proof that this is because of the delay, but 8 episodes can hold A LOT of content, more than enough time for, among other things, a proper arc for the Byogen crew. And extra time could have allowed them to give him a better ending to his story, be it purified by precure magic and turned into nothingness or purified into something harmless/different. And it just suuuuucks cause I really did like Healin Good it just, got fucked so hard for the 8 episode delay and it shows.

So I’m really hoping that DeliParty isn’t delayed more then 3 episodes and that the delay doesn’t bugger it up to much.

[sapphire-innit]

Saddest Beach Party Ever :(

Watch out for this one folks, it gets a bit dark -- mind the tags (though nothing outside of what you'd expect for.. this episode)

VOD: Tommy Is Left ALONE at his Exile Party with Dream (Start - 35:30)

(rp) I have Absolutely been putting off watching this one because I WILL cry and I am scared

I can't imagine what it was like to watch live and see NO ONE on the beach

He's keeping up a good face, adding more chairs... I'm not looking forward to it setting in.

like fuck man, fuck Dream for chasing of Ghostbur for MULTIPLE reasons but also because no one else even KNEW about the party :(

He's so excited about maybe seeing Tubbo I hate it Thanks

and now he's putting things down for Quackity and adding more things he's still so happy and excited (though you can occasionally see the mask break - there's a lot of nervous energy here)

"Where... no, well go place this" "why did Fundy leave the game" THANKS I HATE IT

Lazer and Fundy have been some of the people who have visited toooo :(

Tommy's face when no one is on the nether path.............. ouch

.............................................................................................

log off right now green demon

log off RIGHT NOW

just stewing in silence ..... painful....

cc!Tommy really is one of the best actors on the server, this hurts quite a bit

............

I know that's Dream joining the call and I hate it

fuck

"I'm running a little late, sorry :)" >:|

fuck, Tommy apologized and tossed his armor immediately INCLUDING HIS GIFT SHOES AND AXE, Dream didn't even ask

Dream of course taking the chance to be '''''''benevolent''''.... probably as a reward for Tommy doing it immediately and without prompting >:|

and ofc Dream just straight up lies about the invites to rub salt into the wound. Cant have Tommy thinking people CARE ABOUT HIM OR ANYTHING.

Even mentioned Tubbo SPECIFICALLY YOU BASTARD "in L'manburg" was that truly necessary bastard

the sun setting... a symbol of hope... the symbol of their friendship.... disappearing into the ocean... I hate it :(

Dream pushing him into eating the cake.. "I've lost my appetite"

just digging in that Tubbo For Sure got the Invite Definitely and no one came except Dream.

"I didn't mind being a little bit late because I thought everyone else would be here" why did he keep pointing out he was late, kept hammering that point home. Like even Dreams attention is not important to Dream? like it has to be earned maybe ..?

"No one cares about me anymore" "that's not true" *BREAKS CAKE* "None of them care about me anymore"

IS HE BREAKING THE PATH OHNOOO ;-;

"No one cares... other than You(Derogatory)"

"Maybe they had something more important" I hate how Dream hides his digs behind sounding consoling it fucking SUCKS

I hate how depressed he sounds, how resigned

....threw away the chicken, and he isn't eating or healing. I knew to watch out for it but its never been this pronounced before. He's down to three hearts ;-;

"I'm pretty sure he burned it, or lost it" I do not believe that for a SECOND Dream, or at least its not as clear cut as it seems. Tubbo CARES ABOUT TOMMY, I *JUST SAW* a clip of him holding the compass aaaaa

ohno

"at least SOMEONE on this entire 30 person server got an invite" "He said he was going to give it to at least 13 people, and at least one person I saw give it in person"

ohno

ohnooooooooooo

he really is gonna toss the compass isn't he nooooooooo

...............

staring into the lava again. "he burned it. On purpose"

Dream quibbling ... but doubling down i hate it

.......its just... so clear he's not only thinking about the compass in lava

Dream shooting at the Ghast,,, telling Tommy to sleep on it, coaxing him back from the edge "almost fell off, careful Tommy" I hate it here

"I don't sleep anymore Dream" "I just want to go home" "Please can I go home" he sounds so broken ;A;

"why can't I stay" :( :( :(

"It's not like they want you anyway Tommy. No one showed up to your party and everyone was invited" And THIS is why Dream tanked the party on purpose. Because if Tommy thinks no one even wants him, he won't even try to get back, and will just stay under Dreams control. There's such a mental and emotional difference and toll from "Outside forces (Dream) are keeping me from going home and maybe I can subvert or change them" and "Home doesn't want me and they're better off without me"

It truly is creepy how Dream is trying to coax him with the Christmas tree, like he's trying to pull this balancing act because he can tell Tommy is on the edge of really giving up and I hate it so much

He still hasn't eaten

"c'monn you want to see the Christmas tree :)" overwriting his feelings as well ugh

"I'm sure if you asked them, they'd say they care about you" I see you invalidating any future concern someone might show him

ALSO TOMMY CALLING EXILE HOME IS SURE SOMETHING

.....him asking Dream to defend him is... painful. Especially having just watched the latest stream where he asked the same of Tubbo right after being triggered as hell ugh. He really has gotten used to being made helpless and depending on Dream, even on the one day he didn't get his armor and weapons taken away from him. He sounds so resigned :(

(( LOL OK THE DNF JOKE WAS PRETTY FUNNY THO))

he's bribing him with the trident and I hate it. Though at least hes enjoying it??? Mixed feelings on that. He ate too and I hate that Dreams honeymoon stage is w o r k i n g )

that is the most sincere I have ever heard Tommy say Dream cares about him and it FUCKING SUCKS

I know we never could have had "Happy Party AU" because Dream never would have allowed people to come and validate Tommy but man Trident tricks w everyone would have been nice

...lol someone pointed out the red looks like blood. the fake girlfriend bits are so Weird

Dream what do you GET out of this, why are you so OBSESSED. He spends so much time here

"I wont bring it up with them because that would be awkward" oof and I bet he won't believe it if anyone says they didn't get the invite will he oof

.. He pulls out the Axe but lets dream actually kill the skeleton, he already put it away before Dream even got on screen how many times do i have to say THANKS I HATE IT HERE before it becomes meaningless

So this was around the point (or maybe a little bit later, but talking about this point) during dsmp where I started seeing it cross my dash without any context and saw a lot of takes about "oh but they didn't get the invite" and I had NO IDEA why Tommy was so upset about what was clearly a misunderstanding or why he was making it such a big deal.... well I get it now

Tommy really really isn't in a place where he can believe someone when they say they didn't get an invite. And it Really Truly WAS a big deal and actually I'm 100% on Tommy's side on this issue now (though I also don't blame the other characters for this: See Big Green Bastard Man who is truly at fault) I can understand completely why he throws it in their face later though

He's doubting if he wants to go back now.. that was exactly the point of it all :(

"Thanks for letting me keep my armor today btw" I hate how sincere Tommy is about this. I hate how Dream has so effectively done this, where Tommy sees it as a FAVOR that Dream doesn't come and blow up all of his things and hard work and THANKS him for it.

People much smarter than me have pointed out how 1:1 this is to real abusive relationships and how well its portrayed. I don't have anything clever or insightful to say here I guess, just that its exhausting and heavy to watch (but also really powerful as well, because we DON'T see shit like this played this realistically, or in this much accurate detail)

I just want Tommy to be out of here safely and realize what is being done to him is WRONG and not his fault and be given a chance to actually heal. I know the likelihood of that in the future, considering whats to come, is also. complicated to say the least.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Old (2021)

Oh you guys. You guyyyyyys. Buckle the fuck up, I am so pumped to tell you about this absolutely GONZO mummified deuce of a movie. Spoilers will be had in this one, because you need to know everything. 

Old is the latest from M. Night Shyamalan and like....I think we all know M. Night’s track record. For every Sixth Sense, we also get a Happening or a Village. In some ways, he’s the most exciting director working today because every new film is a 50/50 coin toss, and mama loves living on the edge. The gist of this latest roll of the dice is that a group of different families who have all come to stay at a remote luxury beach resort get invited to go to a secluded private beach for the day, and after they arrive they discover they can’t leave. That’s not great, but the bigger problem is that they seem to be aging rapidly - like 2 years older every hour or so. That’s a solid “how are we gonna get outta this one” bottle episode premise, and in the hands of a better writer, it could be a fun sci-fi romp. M. is NOT that writer. 

Some thoughts:

I should have known it would all go wrong from the terrible foreshadowing starting at the very beginning scene. The mom of our main family, Prisca (Vicky Krieps) says “You have such a beautiful voice, I can’t wait to hear it when you’re older.” The dad, Guy (Gael Garcia Bernal) says, “Don’t rush this moment, enjoy the present while you can.” BECAUSE THE CHARACTERS WON’T BE ABLE TO LATER, DO YOU GET IT? dO yOU GEt iT? Wife leaned over and said “look at all the ferns - the oldest plants!” That last one was probably her projecting, but the point stands: there is nothing subtle about Old. 

There’s a lot of just like, shouting out loud the things that are currently happening onscreen. “She’s having a seizure!” “People who go back the way we came black out!” “The rust has entered your bloodstream; it acts like poison!” That’s how you tell stories, right? Just having characters point out events that are occurring right in front of their stupid fucking faces with no other commentary or reflection? 

An additional element that feels woefully ignorant at best and malicious at worst is the inclusion of a black male character (Aaron Pierre) who 1) is a rapper 2) is named Mid-Sized Sedan [I’ll give you a moment to deal with that detail emotionally] 3) says the single line of dialogue “Damn.” at least 4 times and 4) suffers the bloodiest, most violent onscreen death at the hands of a racist white man who is revealed to have paranoid schizophrenia. There are other gruesome deaths onscreen, to be sure, but the worst are body horror nightmares that could never occur in the real world - a woman whose bones are breaking and setting in the wrong position nearly instantaneously until she resembles a horrifying spider creature, and the aforementioned rust-in-the-bloodstream trick that leads to a Jeff-Goldblum-in-The Fly-bubbling-skin infection kinda deal. But Mid-Sized Sedan just gets stabbed in the chest repeatedly, brutally, a bunch of times by a white guy who pleads fear for his life even though MSS posed no danger to him, and it all happens onscreen when so many other characters are offered the mercy of offscreen deaths. I’m not sure if M. is trying to throw some real-world horror in and he’s just shit at it, or if it really didn’t occur to him how malicious this inclusion feels in a fantasy narrative, and I don’t really care. If you have a black character in your story and they die, you better think really long and hard about how it happens and what it means and it’s clear no one did that here.

Nothing to do with the film itself, but it did tickle me that someone brought a tiny infant to my pretty packed screening. The baby was very chill, thank goodness, and as far as I know did not age up to a kindergartner during the course of the film.

There is a Very Good Dog, a Yorkie, present for the first part of the film, but unfortunately the dog dies. It occurs offscreen, and given the premise of what’s going on on this beach, it’s not a shock when it happens BUT STILL. 

The old age makeup, at least on Prisca is pretty great. Good job makeup department!

At one point, Guy gets attacked by another beachgoer, and his eyesight is failing so he has a hard time fighting back. But you are surrounded by sand, my dude, and you can still see blurry shapes. You’re not gonna throw some sand in the eyes until you’ve been stabbed like 10 times? Not gonna try to push him down, or sweep the fucking leg, or do anything but just keep raising your arms and getting stabbed while yelling “I’ll protect you!” I’ve seen stale tuna sandwiches with better defense mechanisms than you. 

Like most fantastical premises, there are only a certain number of ways this narrative can end that really make any sense. It reminds me quite a bit of 2019’s Brightburn which was like “what if Superman but evil?” Either everyone is gonna die, or someone is going to improbably survive and you better have a real neat explanation for how that’s possible. Oh M. Night, when will you realize that your explanations are never as clever as you think they are? There’s no “twist” here really, simply a reveal, and it’s the equivalent of eating one of those sugar-free, gluten-free, egg-free, dairy-free snack cakes I broke down and ate out of desperation when I was on Weight Watchers. That shit is “food” in the same way that the climax is a “logical explanation for all this.” Big Pharma is luring sick people to the resort through targeted ads, then arranging these excursions to the wacky time beach in order to test how medicine they secretly slipped into the guests’ drinks works over decades of life. These sneaky medical breakthroughs are saving hundreds of thousands of people’s lives, we’re told, and the scientists offer a moment of silence for each fallen group of unwitting human lab rats after they inevitably die. Because if there’s one thing the world needs right now, it’s more distrust of pharmaceutical companies and the ethics of modern science! I can’t think of one possible reason we’d want to portray molecular biologists, immunologists, and virologists in a positive light right now, can you? When will those assholes get off their high horses and stop being universally trusted and beloved by everyone, am I right?? 

My saddest takeaway, tbh, is that this is a stacked international cast, with at least half the roles going to POC - this is the future liberals want, etc etc - and the result is THIS.

Did I Cry? Of course not.

Not all is terrible! It’s a beautiful movie to look at, because M. Night’s direction is never the problem, but combined with the script, the acting, and the absurd narrative leaps needed to make this story make even a little bit of sense, the whole thing turns into a mess. Unfortunately, getting Old with M. Night is less “leisurely retirement at a plush resort in Florida” and more “rancid can of Ensure and a poop-choked pair of Depends.”

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[dameronology]

tea and whiskey {jack daniels x reader} - 6

summary: despite his best efforts, it appears as though you're completely slipping through jack's fingers. it appears as though he has no choice but to put everything out on the table in a last ditch attempt to keep you by his side. {series masterlist}

warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, mentions of death

this one's a bit of a rollercoaster, but i promise it's fun <3

- jazz xx

You'd told Jack that things between you were fine.

They didn't feel as much.

You had meant it when you'd said it - it was just that the more you thought about it and the more you pondered on your concerns, the more worried you became. Did you even know Jack Daniels at all? His mysteriousness had been attractive at first but the closer you got to him, the more you found yourself wanting to hold him at an arm's length until you had your answers. When the situation between you had been a co-workers-with-benefits affair, it hadn't mattered so much. But now, you'd agreed it was something more intense, something more meaningful. Was it unfair to think that you deserved to know a little more? To get a more substance than just it's fine, trust me?

Whilst you hadn't wanted it to get in the ways of things, you couldn't help it. It hadn't changed anything the first few days after your conversation about where you stood, or about his seeming vendetta against Ginger, but the more you thought about it, the more it got to you. It had been almost 2 weeks since then, and you'd spent most of the second one lying to him. Telling him you had to call Eggsy, or your mum, or that you had to work late to get some paperwork done for Merlin.

Tonight had been no different - it was a Friday, the last six of which you had spent at Jack's. You'd given him some ridiculous waffle about timezones and reporting to the Kingsman. He had seemed to believe it; if he didn't, he'd chosen not to comment on it.

You were sat in your shared office, heels kicked to one side and feet propped up on the table. There was a glass of wine in one hand and your phone in the other (you were exchanging memes with Eggsy), and an episode of the The Crown playing on your computer. It was a nice way of getting your mind off of the situation with Jack, and the fact that you had a mountain of Calahan-related paperwork.

"So, this is the important meeting that you ditched me for?"

You froze at the sound of Jack's voice. He was leant against the doorway, arms folded over his chest and a look on his face that didn't seem too far off of pissed. Your first instinct was to lie, but the urge quickly faded. What was the point? He'd already caught you in one. Might as well just rip it off like a band-aid.

"I lied."

"That's clear as fucking day." Jack shot back. "Am I boring you all of a sudden?"

"Jack." You sighed. "I just needed some space to think."

"I thought we were good?" His brown eyes fell to the floor. "What's with all the lying? I admire your brutal honesty."

"I was only brutally honest with people I didn't mind hurting." You paused your laptop, pulling your feet down from the desk. "I care about you and I don't want to hurt you-"

"- I have pretty thick skin." He cut you off. "Be honest - you have my blessing."

"I thought I was okay with how intense things were getting," you began. "But the more, I think about it, the more I'm not sure."

Jack's face fell. "That's why you've suddenly been distant these past two weeks, huh?"

"Yeah." You nodded.

"What brought this on?"

You were silent.

"I know." Jack sighed. "It's the thing with Ginger, isn't it?"

"Not just that." You said. "You asked me to trust you and I agreed to, but I'm not sure I do."

"What have I ever done to make you not trust me?"

"Nothing, but that's my problem." You replied. "This is all on me."

"It sure as hell is." He sniffed. "If you want space, I'll give you space. Just don't count on me to be here when you get back."

--

The tension in Champ's office the following morning was almost fucking suffocating.

The poor man had no idea what had gone down between the two of you. Heck, even you were struggling to understand it. You'd got yourself into situations before with your tendency to overthink, but this one might have taken the cake. Relationships - or whatever the hell you and Jack had going on - had never been your area of expertise, and you had no idea how to navigate your situation. It had seemed like a good idea to act on your doubt and be honest with him, but now you were just worried that you'd ruined it.

"You two are making excellent progress with your mission to get Calahan." Champ said.

"Thank you, sir." Jack nodded.

"We need to discuss the matter of when you catch him."

"I appreciate your faith in us, but if we catch him, rather than when we catch him might be a little more realistic." You replied.

"I'm not certain of many things, but I am absolutely sure that you and Jack have this in the bag." Champ shot back. "And when you do, I'm afraid there is only room for one name on the arrest forms."

You sat up in your seat. "What do you mean?"

"I know that you two have made a completely join effort in this matter." He began. "But as far as Interpol, and every international agency has seen it, only one person's name can be on the paperwork."

"But we can both take credit, right?" You urged. "Surely, they can recognise us both for our work."

"I'm afraid not, Percy." Champ sighed. "The paperwork can only be processed under one name-"

"- why?" Jack cut him off. "I mean, why, sir?"

"Traditionally, only one agent would go into the field, to keep the casualties as low as possible." He explained. "Things have changed in practice but on paper, things still stand."

"So what are we meant to do?" You asked.

"You'll have to decide between yourselves who gets that recognition." He replied.

"Right." You murmured and stood up. "Thank you, sir."

Champ gave you a nod. "And you, agent. I'm sorry it has to be this way."

Me too, you thought.

You stalked out of Champ's office, Jack hot on your heels. If things had been a little tense before, they were going to be strangling now. The cowboy was already hurt by your revelation from the night before, and now, that was only going to get worst, because there was no way in hell that you were about to give the reins over to him. You'd make it clear from day one that your job came first, so that shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone.

Heels clicking loudly against the floor, you sped up slightly in an attempt to lose him. It had been foolish, though, because before you could sprint into the ladies' room, Jack grabbed you by the arm and pulled you to the side.

"Lying to me and running away from me?" He asked. "You're breaking my fucking heart, baby."

You swatted his hand away and puffed out your chest. "I'm taking credit for Calahan."

Jack thinned his eyes at you. "We should talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about." You said. "I chased his ass all the across the Atlanic and I've been working on this project longer than you. Personal feelings aside, it makes sense."

"It sounds like you're saying you've done most the work."

"That is what I'm saying."

"I've done most the physical work." He shot back. "The chasing, the jumping over walls, the field work."

"None of which you could have done without me."

"Is this because of what I said last night? Are you mad?" He asked.

"No, I'm mad because you know how much this means to me!" You shoved him. "A win like this is all I've ever wanted. You know that!"

"It means a lot to me too!"

"I am putting my name on those papers." You snapped. "I've spent my whole life living in the fucking shadows at Kingsman and I'm tired of it. This is my win."

"With an attitude like that, I don't blame the damn redcoats for wanting to keep you in the shadows."

Your mouth fell open. If that had come from anyone else, you could have dealt with it. But Jack? The man who had always encouraged and loved your fire? The man you'd opened up to about how suffocated you felt at Kingsman? It was though he'd thrown your trust right back in your face.

"Wait, I didn't mean that-"

"- fuck you, Jack."

--

Drinking was, essentially, the thing that had gotten you into this whole situation in the first place. It was this very bar, in fact.

It was beyond you why you'd gone to Jack's favourite cowboy bar to simmer; probably because it was the closest thing you could get to actually being in his presence right now. Which was quite funny, because if you were in his presence, you no doubt would have decked him right there and then. His stupid fucking words were playing on a loop in your head, and it felt like a punch to your gut every time they circled back around your pre-fontal cortex.

You could have called Eggsy and vented to him, but that would involve recounting the whole story to him. He'd want to whoop Jack's ass for going near you in the first place, and eject him into outer space entirely for his petty jab. God, you missed your best friend.

Despite your anger, you hadn't even drank that much. Maybe a beer, or three - way below the amount you needed to even get tipsy. Drunken rage barely did you favours at the best of times, and right now was definitely the worst of times. It was just that sitting in a bar was a much better alternative to wallowing in your pity, alone in your larger-than-life apartment.

You sighed and took another sip of your drink, glancing over at your phone. There were three texts from Jack; a please call me, a I'll explain everything and a I fucked up, I know. You couldn't help but snort - what reason did he even have for talking to you that way?

With a twenty tossed on the bar and an empty glass, you shrugged your jacket on and began the walk back to your apartment. The air was cold and everyone was rushing around you to get back to their own respective homes. You had never wanted more in your life to go back to yours - your home in London. The one filled with pictures of you and your family, with memories of dumb sleepovers with Eggsy and late nights with your favourite films.

"So you're stalking me now?"

You could't muster up any other words when you saw Jack waiting by your door. Apparently his ignored texts and calls hadn't been a big enough sign.

"I didn't know where you were." Jack murmured.

"I was out." You shoved your way past him. "You can go now."

"We need to talk."

"Not right now." You groaned. "I'm tired, no thanks to you."

"I don't like when things are like this." He continued, following you inside as you unlocked the door. "I can't stand the idea of you being mad at me."

"So why do you do shit that makes me mad?" You shot back.

Jack sighed, leaning against your kitchen earlier. "I shouldn't have said what I did earlier. I was hurt-"

"- you were hurt?!" You snorted in disbelief.

"It fucking killed me when you said that you didn't trust me, sugar." He admitted. "I get why. I've been holding a lot of stuff back from you and I...I don't think it'll excuse my behaviour, but it might at least give you a reason."

"Okay." You murmured.

"I've barely told anyone this, but I trust you." He reached out and took your hands in his. "It's a lot."

"Jack, you don't have to-"

"- I used to be married." He cut you off. You froze at his words. "Her name was Georgia, and we'd been in love since high-school."

"I..." you trailed off. "Used to be?"

"She was killed in a shoot-out during a robbery." Jack's voice wavered slightly. "She was pregnant at the time. I lost two people that day."

"Shit." You murmured. "I'm sorry, Jack."

"It's fine." He replied. "Not your fault, sweetheart."

"Who else knows?"

"Ginger." He said. "She was a friend of mine, long before we were at Statesman. Georgia's best friend, too."

"You're trying to protect her, aren't you?" You glanced up, eyes meeting. "By keeping her out the field?"

"It's a shitty excuse." He half-heartedly shrugged. "She's all I have left of Georgia. The only person who really shares my pain."

Jack was right -- it hadn't been an excuse, but it was an explanation. You couldn't even begin to get your head around the kind of pain he must have felt then, or even the kind he felt now. You'd had weeks worth of deep conversations and late-night talks but he had never, ever even remotely mentioned Georgia, or his unborn child. You couldn't blame him for that. Not in the slightest.

You were struggling to find the words, really. A thousand new layers had just been added to a man you were already struggling to understand.

"That must be a real weight on your shoulders."

"It is." Jack nodded. "But it lifts slightly when I'm with you."

"Really?" You asked quietly.

"Completely." He countered. "That's all I've wanted my entire life -- to feel again, and I do with you."

"That's deep." You tried to crack a joke, to lighten the mood.

"Even if this ends when you go back to London, I'm still grateful." He continued. "You gave me that, so I should give you what you've always wanted."

"A real-life Batmobile?"

Jack snorted, despite the emotional atmosphere. "Your name will have to go on those papers. It should never have even been a question."

"Jack, I-"

"- that's all there is to say." He shook his head. "There'll be other arrests and missions, but I'll never find someone like you."

Without anything to say, you placed your hands on either side of his face and pulled him into a kiss. That in itself said everything you needed to- thank you, I'm sorry, maybe you don't suck that much, etc. The entire conversation marked a definitive shift in your relationship, and even though it was one that neither of you could quite work out, that didn't matter. You'd thrown yourself back into the deep end, even though you'd been so hell-bent on breaking to the surface just hours earlier.

There was no doubt that it would only complicated the whole let's not fall in love promise you'd made -- but that was something to worry about later, right?

taglist: @b0nnyzz @xremember-me-notx @somenerdyuser @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @javisjeanjacket @phoenixhalliwell @no-droids-on-sunday​ @paintballkid711​ @waatermelon-sugaar​ @hepburnwritess​ @haileyybird​ @xjaywritesx​ @jabbajambler​ @the-mandalorian-clone-lover​ @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky​ @welcometothepedroverse​ @wickedmuse​

[ghostbustermelanieking]

some thoughts on mag 200

i’ve been having trouble articulating this, but i wanted to get some thoughts down on mag 200, and the ending of tma as a whole, now that i’ve heard the finale twice and had some time to process it all. putting this under a cut in case people don’t wanna see it -- there’s gonna be a lot of praise here, but also some legit criticism. this is a way to sort through my feelings more than anything else.

first off, relistening to the finale, and sitting on it for a while, has made me feel a hell of a lot better about the whole thing. the episode comes off a lot better when you’re not vibrating with fear and anticipation, in my opinion. the final statement was very fitting and cool -- not my favorite ever, but i can appreciate it a lot as a final closing for the fears. and i don’t have an ear for soundscaping but the sound in that statement was cool as hell. the jonah magnus gets fucking murdered scene is incredibly satisfying. a lot of other people have said this, but i love that jon finally got his revenge, and was able to lash out against jonah for all the years of manipulation and beng used, and for tim and sasha and everything else. that was perfect. i genuinely thought we might not get a scene like this after 193 but i am so glad we did. incredibly satisfying. the girls made it out!! i am very glad that they’re ok and moving on and seem to be leaning on each other. (By God I Will Wring Found Family Out Of This Podcast If It Kills Me.) and the admiral’s okay. love that

and the jonmartin ending. oh my god. while i was never the biggest fan of the possibility of martin having to kill jon, the way it went down was so painful and good. i loved that final scene. i love the ambiguity -- that they might have died but maybe they didn’t, maybe they’re all right and happy and we can decide for ourselves -- i love that i got exactly what i wanted, that i get to have my cake and eat it too, all the angst of a jmart death and still the possibility of happiness... i am going buckwild. i love it. the longer i spend with this ending, the happier i am with it. i really really loved it

on another note... i do have some reservations about the finale and the season as a whole. i understand peoples’ irritations with the finale, and while i’m trying to focus on the things i did like, i definitely have some irritations. for one, i definitely wish the finale had been longer. i would’ve loved to see more of what wtgfs and basira were doing, and the actual lighting of the archives, etc. and while i completely understand why the scene at the panopticon went as quickly as it did -- it comes off very much as wild, frantic impulse in the heat of the moment where they’re in danger and trying to protect each other -- i do wish it had gone a little slower. 

in my mind, the biggest issue in season 5 ended up being pacing. and this might be a personal preference thing -- there’s a lot of things within the show that i don’t personally vibe with, but i don’t necessarily think they’re badly written. but i do think season 5 was slow. and while slow things can certainly work in a certain context (season 4 comes off wildly slow til you listen to 160), i wish more of what actually happened in season 5 had been baked into the end game. the season felt like it had a lot of filler, which drives me mildly crazy, because the end game feels rushed and i don’t think it NEEDED to be. i liked a lot of what season 5 did -- there’s some impeccable episodes, the character interactions are weirdly lighter and softer than they have been in previous seasons, and i wouldn’t trade a lot of the things that it’s given us (all the jonmartin interactions, jon and georgie briefly rebuilding their friendship, martin and melanie friendship, wtgfs scenes and intimacy, backstory, lore, etc) for anything. but i do think it could’ve been structured and paced a little differently. i also think it could’ve given some more screentime to the character stuff we got from episodes like 161, 170, 186, 190, 191, 192, 199... i absolutely love both martin centric monologue episodes, but i hate that we didn’t get anything like that for jon. (or for melanie or georgie or basira...) the best episodes of the season, imo, are the ones that broke from traditional form of domain statement domain, and the ones that focused in hard on backstory, lore, character introspection, character interaction... i wish we had more of this. 

when it comes to the jonmartin arc... i know this has been a point of contention with a lot of people, but i don’t hate it at all. maybe it’s just because i relistened to the majority of the season back in january, but a lot of the more grating moments that seemed large week to week (martin pressuring jon to smite people, the disagreements they had earlier in the season, jon using martin as bait in 176, etc etc) come off a lot more minor when you’re binging. personally, relistening to act i made those interactions come off as things they were struggling with through continued support and reassurance. there were absolutely things i wanted addressed, especially with the “kill bill arc” -- the disagreements early in the season, and how it seemed to turn on its head in the argument they have in 194. (i didn’t like martin blaming jon for the kill bill arc and i was hoping it would get brought up.) i also wanted to see a discussion of martin going with annabelle in 194 -- i wasn’t really ever mad at martin for doing it, but i did want to see them talk it out. 

but! after relistening to 200, i think i have a better handle on why that couldn’t have happened. martin goes behind jon’s back to go with annabelle and they don’t talk about it; jon goes behind martin’s back to sabotage the plan everyone agrees on in order to prevent the fears from spreading. if they’d had a big talk about trust, and working through martin going off with annabelle, and then jon turned around and did the same thing, more or less... it would’ve completely soured that discussion. jon and martin needed to be in a place of discourse for this ending to work. 

honestly, the more i’ve thought about this final JM arc, the better i feel about it. sure, jon and martin are in a bad place, and they’ve gone behind each other’s backs and been somewhat selfish, but i don’t think this ruins their relationship. for one, martin’s break in trust comes from a place of wanting to save jon and the world. and for another, jon genuinely feels he is doing the right thing, making a decision he can live with. (i have my own opinions as to how ethical jon’s decision was, but that’s another post. and i think the muddy ethics of this ending are on purpose -- it’s horror, a genre that often doesn’t offer ethical decisions.) their final decisions and final moments come from a place of love and protectiveness, and they change their decisions for the other. they still love each other, through all of it. i don’t think these late stage betrayals equivalate jonmartin necessarily being doomed as a couple (not that anyone has said that, but it’s worth saying). and i think it’s important to remember that this is still a relatively new relationship. it existed for approximately three weeks before the literal apocalypse, and it’s been under an immense amount of stress, as well as the constant fear that one or both of them would die. (which they did.) i’m not saying that excuses certain things they’ve said or done, but i am saying i don’t think the relationship is doomed. i think, if jon and martin have survived, they’ll need to work through things. they’ll need to talk it all out. and they’ll be able to! they’ll heal from this one way or another. the tragedy isn’t that jonmartin is doomed, or toxic. it’s that these moments of betrayal are what dooms them. and the beautiful undercurrent of it all is that they still manage to come together, and make decisions that mean they stay together. and that wherever they are, they’re still together. 

all in all, i don’t think season 5 has been perfect, and i can make my peace with that. (tma’s worst is a hell of a lot better than most shows’ best.) (i also think it might be worth considering how covid could have affected certain aspects of how the season was written -- pandemics are stressful, and i can’t imagine what it’s like to finish an enormous, in the works for years project like this in the middle of that. personally, i’m impressed they’ve managed to finish the show through all of this and keep it to a similar quality.) i think critiques are valuable and worth discussing. and i think plot aspects aside, there are several other critique related things that could be brought up about this season that people have articulated much better than i ever could. but i also, personally, want to walk away from the show feeling satisfied. i tend to be weirdly positive about things i love (the x files finale was horrendous, but i managed to get to a place where i was happy with it, for example), and i think that applies here -- even more so because i really did love so many aspects of that finale. i don’t necessarily want to linger in my own mind over what i disliked, especially considering the show is over. although i did want to air out my thoughts. 

i still love this show. i loved a lot of episodes this season, frustrations aside. season 5 will forever be my only live tma experience, and it got me through one of the worst years of my life, and i am very grateful for this. i genuinely did just want to air out my thoughts and get them all down on paper. these are just my opinions -- i don’t want to criticize anyone who feels differently about the finale, or the season as a whole. everyone’s opinion is their own. 

i feel a lot, lot better about mag 200, to the point of genuinely loving it. i hope my appreciation only grows as i get further from that frenzied first day and have more time to sit with it. and i can’t wait to see all the art and read all of the amazing fics that are going to come out of this ending (and write some of my own). it’s been a wild ride. i’m glad i was here for it.

[chalkrevelations]

Ep 27 of Word of Honor, and that was … Well. That was definitely the unicorn chaser to spending so much time and hugging with Awful Yifu in the last episode.

(Spoilers, as ever, so scroll away and come back later, if you’re still planning to watch unspoiled.)

I mean, what is there to say?

Ha, no, really, I can find plenty to say. Buckle up, I guess.

Clearly, I’m going to talk about The Scene, and there’s a lot going on here, besides the obvious cake frosting of everyone coming to everyone else’s rescue and the fighting and the crying and the declarations, and then once it’s all over, when everybody’s still hopped up on adrenaline, before the crash hits, the shouting and the laughing. At the end of it, we’re not even 20 minutes into the ep, and I feel like that should have been the climax (har), but they probably knew nobody would be able to concentrate on anything else that came before it. I’ve seen a couple of interviews now where Zhang Zhehan said he wanted to play Wen Kexing, and given the chance, he would probably still pick that role, and then everyone involved in the interview rambles on about the complexity of the Wen Kexing character, and it makes me worry that Zhang Zhehan isn’t giving himself or Zhou Zishu enough credit for the depth and range that he pulled out of the character. There’s a lot of various people yelling at various other people in many different places in this show, but there’s not been a scene yet that I felt it like I did when ZZS shouts at WKX after Ye Baiyi finally goes away, wanting to know what the fuck he was thinking. That felt real, and it felt layered – like, there’s a bone-deep fear that’s giving that anger extra strength, fear about the fact that WKX could be so self-destructive. Which also may force ZZS to confront for the first time the idea that WKX could die and leave him alone, just like all his other shidi died and left him alone. I’d have to go back and rummage around in previous eps, but I feel like this could be the first time ZZS really has to confront the idea that could happen, and he’s probably not at all prepared for it, because he’s understandably expecting to be the first to go. But this idea that WKX could just disappear, and get himself killed (because let’s face it, Ye Baiyi tossed them both around like toys), and ZZS would never see him again – that he would abandon ZZS like that, just to hide his secrets – I think that might be part of the anger, here. (You don’t fail me … and Zhou Zishou’s expectations for what constitutes not being failed are a pretty low bar, consisting mainly of not getting yourself killed like a fucking dumbass, and even that bar suddenly seems to be too high for Wen Kexing to clear.)

There’s also a clear parallel here, need I say, to the scene in a previous ep when Gu Xiang (WKX) begs Shen Shen (Ye Baiyi) that even after Shen Shen (Ye Baiyi) kills her (him), could he just for god’s sake not tell her (his) boyfriend who she (he) really was. Wen Kexing’s supposedly thought-out plan was basically just going to be what A-Xiang came up with on the fly, and stupid babies need the most love, I remind myself grimly, particularly when all this is about something Zhou Zishu already knew anyway, because he’s a brilliant former merciless assassin, not a good-hearted self-deprecating cinnamon roll who thinks he’s the least talented person in his sect like Cao Weining. We’ve also got some tasty philosophical stuff in this whole confrontation, including competing responsibilities – loyalty vs. justice vs. integrity – along with ideas of retributive vs. restorative justice. This is another good Zhang Zhehan acting moment, because that whole bit about how, actually, Grandpa, his shifu would have been about guiding his shidi toward kindness and making up for the mistakes he made – I actually believe he’s wholly thinking about Wen Kexing when he pulls out this philosophical rapier, and not at all about how restorative justice benefits ZZS, himself, considering how much blood he has on his own hands and that earlier conversation about frying in oil for 80 vs. 100 years. Good job, my friend. The one thing that makes me sad about this scene is that I’ve seen That Extra, and I hate we were robbed of not only Zhou Zishu actually laying his head on Wen Kexing’s shoulder but of Gong Jun’s single crystalline tear spilling down his cheek. Zhang Zehan’s right, that was a better take.

Anyway, Ye Baiyi proceeds to put WKX under house arrest, which, just. So he has to live with ZZS for the rest of his life? Please don’t throw him into the briar patch, right?

Also, yes, WKX. He’d die for you, dumbass. God.

Just to drive home the point of how the Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishou and Gu Xiang/Cao Weining relationships are the same relationship, we then go to a scene … well, we then go directly to a scene where Cao Weining is just sitting there, chin in hand, gazing adoringly at Gu Xiang, much the way Wen Kexing has been gazing adoringly at Zhou Zishu since about Ep 3 2 1 …  but that also leads into a scene where Cao Weining is interrogated about Gu Xiang by his shixiong in a milder, miniature version of the grilling ZZS just took from his elder. “Do you know who she is?” Whoever she is, he’s going to continue to respect her boundaries. “I promised her, so I won’t betray or distrust her.” “We’ve been through so much together.” (“We’re in the same boat anyway, we might as well stay together.”) I won’t fail you. Nobody in this scene has actually made the Ghost Valley connection, yet, and Cao Weining is not as canny as Zhou Zishu, so we’re not yet going to get any kind of resolution on the issue in this relationship - but given the way these relationships are running on parallel tracks, I have positive feelings about how Cao Weining is going to meet this challenge (not that I didn’t, anyway) once the info finally does come out.

What else, what else? We do go back to Xie Wang and Awful Yifu in this ep, and oh boy.

Xie’er: Ghost Valley Master’s faithful minion Heartless Amethyst Fiend has been sent by her master to sneakily follow Cao Weining and infiltrate the Gentle Wind Sword Sect where the Glazed Armor is being held.

A-Xiang, chillin’ outside the gated community in a rustic cabin with her fiancé, doing some mending and waiting for her wedding day: Never speak of my former master again, I have utterly left that life behind me. Also, what should we have for dinner?

I can see how you would come to the conclusion you did, Xie’er, but wow, the only time you’ve been more wrong in your life is about your Awful Yifu. Speaking of which, it appears the cat Awful Yifu is out of the bag. Xie Wang is still all, “Since you saved me, you can take my life back if you want,” and here we are in Zhou Zishu-Prince Jin territory again, shades of ZZS in Ep 1 not even blinking as he offers himself to Prince Jin and takes the gamble that he won’t just get his head cut off for his troubles. ALSO, I distinctly remember telling you, Xie’er, that you were empathizing (although not sympathizing) a bit much with the women of the Department of the Unfaithful, and here we do in fact get an explicit comparison, looking back to the conversation with Beauty Ghost about her loser boyfriend, when you refer to yourself as “also a gambler” as you take your leave of Zhao JIng. You need some Water of Lethe, buddy. Or do you think – to return to that conversation and the parallels with Beauty Ghost – that if you remember all this, you’ll stop making the same mistakes?

A last few random things:

lol, let’s all take a minute to giggle over the fact that ZZS has, in Ye Baiyi’s words, associated with this dude. Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Sorry, but I had to pause the show at that point to snicker like a 12-year-old.

Chengling: “How dare those ruffians beat my two dads! Let’s burn down their house.” Wow. OK. Xiang-jie has been … some kind of influence on her didi.

Last scene of ZZS and WKX, oh my god:

ZZS: You’re feeling bad for keeping a secret from a kid? What about me? How are you going to make it up to me?

WKX: Oh, my goodness, look at the time. I’m feeling so … sleepy. Yes, that’s it. I must go to bed. You also must be so … sleepy. You should. You know. Go to bed. Too. Also. To cure your … sleepiness. As you do, in a bed. Where I will also be.

Me, to the screen: He’s going to make it up to you on his back.

Also me: :facepalm: You are a pair of merciless killers. How are you this adorable?

[wearevillaneve]

Hi! Recently I've been analyzing the scene where Eve puts the heart against her ear, listening to Villanelle's voice in s3 ep3, and would love to hear your take on it as well since I love to read your Tumblr posts. Do you think it was the first time Eve actually gave in to the feeling or just the first time the audience got to see it?

Suzanne Heathcote’s approach to Killing Eve was very much “tell-don’t-show,” so it was not a shock that the impression the viewers were left with was this was the first time Eve was actually owning up to how intense her feelings for Villanelle were. Except it wasn’t.   Not even close.   We got that moment back in Season 2 with “Wide Awake” where over a few short minutes Eve is as honest and revealing with the psychologist Martin as she has been with anyone in the entire show. 

Eve never tells Martin she’s in love with Villanelle. She hasn't even told Villanelle, but it hardly matters.  She is in love with this woman, and she can’t stop thinking about her.   It could not be more obvious. This is a good thing, because under Heathcote’s tender mercies, Eve is just kinda doing stuff to be doing it.   The rhyme or reason of it doesn’t matter anymore.   It’s only important for her to go dumpster diving for cake boxes and running around Scotland stomping old ladies to death.  Motivations be damned and pretty much all Eve's previous character development as well. In Season 3, Eve never acknowledges out loud how deep under her skin Villanelle has gotten until they are on the bridge where she says she can’t envision a future without her in it.   That’s good,  but coming off of everything that came after the Rome fiasco, where is this coming from, Eve?    Are you just so weary of the pointless snipe hunt that was the “Who Killed Kenny?” story arc or how your personality turned on a damn dime from obsessing over getting back with your husband to obsessing over getting back with your girlfriend? It would be a revelation for someone to ask Sandra Oh, “At what point in Season 3 does Eve fall back in love/lust with Villanelle, and better yet, WHY does she?”

“Admit it, Eve.  You wish I was here.”   It’s a great scene.  No lie.  At first Eve’s flustered and then frustrated and a little pissed by that familiar voice coming out of that goofy toy.  Then as she tears the heart out of it, she-can’t-stop-listening-to-it.   Eve's loneliness is matched by her longing for Villanelle. Obsession truly doesn't die even when the objects of obsession keep trying to murder one another.  

What the talking bear doesn’t say is, “I can’t stop thinking about you.”   Villanelle needs to maintain some distance between her true feelings for Eve and her pride and the admission that she misses Eve would be showing weakness.  A swaggering Roman centurion-turned Emperor in a oversized grey suit facing off on a double-decker bus with an old foe who once hurt “him” greatly cannot be so vulnerable and soft (and what the fuck was up with that Roman centurion/smells like power bullshit, anyway?). Villanelle was weird that whole episode.   The opening kills with the Infinity Tuning Fork was weird.  Baby-snatching the baby in order to play with it, right up until the kid starts crying or pooping, then the fun’s over, and she cackles with malicious glee when Dasha drops the little shitbird in the trash.   Struts around London to select a new customized perfume, buy and customize a toy for Eve, break into Eve’s dump of an apartment, follow her to the bus, change clothes and bust a cap in The Twelve’s accountant while scaring the hell out of Carolyn and Mo, finally returning to a hotel for a shower and a little telly before calling it a night as she and Eve nurse their matching bruises. That’s a pretty full and totally weird day for Villanelle.  In the meantime, Eve gets a restless night tossing and turning all night as she keeps replaying V’s message until the battery dies or she climaxes.  Whatever comes first.

Yeah, @dayyneee, I love the scene as much as you do as it comes in my favorite episode of my least favorite season.  What bugs me most about it is it has really no effect on the following episodes.  Eve never mentions it again and Villanelle doesn’t even ask if she liked it.  Uh--why is that, Killing Eve writers?   Seemed like you went out of the way to make a point of the stuffed bear’s heart being a mighty big thing at the time, but after that it swirls down the memory hole never to be referenced again?  What’s up with that? Eve could have referred to the talking heart which would have given Villanelle a chance to ask how she liked her birthday cake and the postcard from Amsterdam intercepted by Carolyn in Season 2.   Some might dismiss this as “fan service,” but I call it tying up loose threads that like so many other things on Killing Eve happen and are never heard from again. If Laura Neal is doing a rewatch of the show, she’s filling up a pad with notes of things that need tidying up before the curtain comes down.   What about “the heart?” is not the least of them. 

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Do you have any fanficions that are very science-y, if that makes any sense? Like, focused on scientific things, in the writing style or actual experiments incorporated into the story itself? I hope I'm making sense

Hi Nonny!

Ahhh yeah, though a lot of the fics I read have it deep in the fic, lol. BUT!!!! Guess what?? Your ask is the lucky one that spawns a new list I’ve been waiting forever to post the next part for a tonne of new fics, LOL!

As always, gang, if you have a fic more tuned to what Nonny is ACTUALLY looking for, please add them here, LOL. Pt. 1 will have a lot more of what you’re looking for Nonny, since there’s a lot of my FFNet recs on that one, but both lists have great recs!! <3

IT’S AN EXPERIMENT! Pt. 3

See also:

It’s An Experiment!

It’s An Experiment! (Pt. 2)

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

A Study in Lace by KarlyAnne (E, 2,320 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Crafty Sherlock, Tiny Lace Panties / Lingerie, Domestics, Experiments, Oral, Masturbation) – “Why do you suppose he was doing that?” “Why do I suppose who was doing what?” “The room. The lace. The secrecy. He was playing with fire in everything he did, and didn’t care one bit. But he had a secret chamber, carefully concealed, solely for the purpose of making lace lingerie. Obviously for personal use. Why?" Part 1 of The Unintentional Crafts of Sherlock Holmes

Insomnia by TheSingingGirl (K+, 2,635 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Bed Sharing, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sleep is merely the next frontier in what has become the battle to keep Sherlock alive. It's because of this that John ends up in bed with a sociopath.

Undercurrents by entanglednow (E, 2,996 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Disturbing Things, Crime Scene Fetish, Pseudo-Necrophilia, PWP, Masturbation) – “There, that's it, perfect, shut your eyes and don't move - and don't speak."

John's Missing Wednesday by PipMer (K+, 2,999 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Pre-TSo3, Non-Con Drugged John, Friendship, Experiment) –  "Now John I'd poison. ... Sloppy eater – dead easy. I've given him chemicals and compounds that way, he's never even noticed. He missed a whole Wednesday once, didn't have a clue." – The Sign of Three. This is the story of that missing Wednesday.

Museums and Laboratories by RhododendronPonticum (T, 3,004 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, Obsessive Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, Anxiety/Panic Attack, Separation Anxiety, Doctor John, Co-Dependent Sherlock) – If Sherlock's kitchen was his laboratory, then his bedroom was his museum.

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

After the Bombs by VampirePam (T, 3,337 w., 2 Ch. || THoB AU, Drugs, John’s PTSD, Panic Attack, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In which the drugs Sherlock used to dose John trigger a severe episode of PTSD. When terrors old and new cause John to fall apart, Sherlock must rectify his mistake and pick up the pieces.

Experiment by Gwen's Blue Box (K+, 4,222 w., 3 Ch. || Non-Con Drugging, Hurt Comfort, Friendship) – Of course John has always known about his flatmate’s irregular sleeping habits, especially when they’re on a case. This time, however, the case is taking longer and longer, and soon John starts to worry. But there’s not much he can do, is there? Because drugging Sherlock isn’t an option. Not yet, maybe, but will it be soon? {{CW: John drugs Sherlock without his consent}}

Survival Strategies for the Domesticated British Butthole by Atiki (E, 6,183 w., 1 Ch. || Crack, Rimming, Anal Sex, Iced Lolly, Hair Removal, Depilation) – In which there’s a rimming disaster, Sherlock depilates his butt, everything goes very, very wrong and groceries are mistreated. This fic contains hair removal creme in a butthole, ice lollies in a butthole and John Watson's penis in a butthole. You have been warned.

My First, My Only, and My Forever by vintagelilacs (E, 6,220 w., 1 Ch. || Post-ASiB, Virgin Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Bum, John’s Scar, Sherlock POV, Body Worship, Fingering, Bottomlock, Promise of Forever / Proposals, Misunderstanding, First Kiss/Time, Loss of Virginity, Virginity Kink, Seduction) – Sherlock narrowed his eyes. He was missing a vital piece of data, he was sure. John had been looking at him oddly ever since they left Buckingham Palace, and the ensuing incident with Irene Adler had only exacerbated his erratic behaviour. What was it? Why would he care that Sherlock was a virgin? There was nothing reminiscent of mockery or pity in his gaze. And then it hit him. John Watson was aroused.

Time on my hands by Mildredandbobbin (M, 7,179 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S3, One Night Stands, Mutual Pining, Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Sexual Exploration / Discovery, Desperation, Body Worship) – Virginity’s a construct, a concept—what does losing one’s virginity entail for a gay man anyway? Sherlock wants to fill that particular gap in his knowledge but John won’t, can’t, never will assist and there’s only so much desperately unspoken pining even Sherlock can take.

Speak My Language by Itsallfine (T, 7,479 w., 4 Ch. || Thanksgiving, Love Languages, Love Confessions, First Kiss, John Experiments in Sherlock) – When Mrs. Hudson introduces John and Sherlock to the concept of the five love languages, Sherlock descends into a dark mood and John’s curiosity gets the better of him. What is Sherlock’s love language, and why does the whole concept set him so on edge? Part 1 of A Holiday Triptych

Made for You by Raxicoricofallapatorious (K, 8,440 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sci-Fi, Androids) – When John was shot in the shoulder he was decommissioned and his memory and personality was wiped. Sherlock was given the blank droid and he quickly learns that this droid is more than it seems. John just so happened to come back and no one can fathom how or why. Johnlock if you squint.

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w., 1 Ch. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

You fit me, Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (G, 10,077 w., 1 Ch. || It’s An Experiment, Bed Sharing, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Questionable Science) – An unfortunate series of events leads to John accepting being a part of Sherlock's study in physical intimacy. As the days pass by, John realizes he might be in for more than he bargained for. He doesn't entirely mind.

Fucking Cake by Random_Nexus (E, 12,965 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Humour/Crack, Inanimate Object Smut, Frottage, “For a Case” / “Experiment”, PWP / Kinky, Mutual Pining, Fluff) – Sherlock brings home a chocolate cake, John finds him about to have sex with said cake, then exceedingly weird hijinx ensue. Part 1 of "Fucking Baked Goods" - Sherlock BBC

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

[cherryredcolas]

emotions, as experienced by toni shalifoe

episode 1

It starts with annoyance.

This cowgirl barbie going youth group on the plane and trying to get an icebreaker going. You’re unmoved by the attempts. You’ve seen people trying to gEt To KnOw YoU since you entered the system at the fresh age of 6. When your mom OD’d with you in that backseat one time too many, and the state troopers found you cold and shivering and still waiting on her to wake up and go home, because she always did, right?

Regardless, you knew these tricks. They weren’t effective on you when you got into your first foster home, or your last, but you knew it was easier to go along with the soft hands on your shoulders and they pushed you to the front next to the quiet girl with obvious alpha vibes. She wasn’t impressed with your story of targeted urine projection so you just ate your cake and tried to enjoy the way that going to Hawaii felt. You’ve never been on a vacation, ever. Martha and you getting to do this together, after the mess that was Dr. Ted and Regan and all the hurt that small town produced, it was almost a dream come true. Then the plane starts to shudder. It doesn’t stop. You’ve never been on a plane before but the short time you’ve been on this one has let you know that you shouldn’t feel like you’re going down at an angle like you are, so sharply, so aggressively. You run for Martha, grab her and hold onto her, the only family you have, the friend you’re on this dream vacation with. That is when it becomes a nightmare. 

Dread shows up next.

You woke up soaking wet on a beach. You were alone. You look for Martha, your best friend, your sister, the only person you have who hasn’t ever left you behind, and she’s gone. You puke, the cake you ate way too fast making another appearance going the opposite way, splattering a little on your shoes. You have no idea what the fuck to do. So you scream her name again and again until your voice goes hoarse. There’s nothing. Your person isn’t there. You don’t even know where the fuck you are. You don’t have eyes on anyone else for a few minutes, until you see one of the girls who was sitting in front of you. She’s with one of the Californians who looks like you feel, catatonic and petrified. But you can’t stop moving. You have to find your person. 

You see someone fighting through the waves, with what looks like another body. Your mind goes to the worst as you and the girl who was on her feet run out to meet them. It’s the other Californian, and the body isn’t Martha, and you don’t know if that’s good or bad. The girl who swam in didn’t see anyone else. Again, you don’t know if that’s good. You help them in and before you can return to panicking full tilt, you happen to glance over and see two figures, one very blonde and one very Marthaesqe. You drop the unconscious girl and sprint to them, almost knocking them over with force of the hug you wrap Marty in. She mentions cowgirl barbie (Shelby?) helped her, and all you take away from that is how fucking absurd she looks in what appears to have been a wardrobe change. 

You help Marty over to where they’re trying to revive the girl in pink and watch as they manage to get her at least mildly stable. There’s nothing you can do but sit next to her while the rest of the girls try and figure out what the hell to do next, which for some godforsaken reason Shelby has co opted and is trying to preach to the group and you can’t help but let it get to you. You’ve done the Jesus Saves thing, having heard this spiel from any number of do gooders who think the answer to having a drug addicted mom is to pray it out, like the economic realities and emotional cataclysm of being abandoned by every member of your family can be fixed with a prayer and a crucifix around your neck. You snap back, instinctively. She takes it in stride. It infuriates you. It makes it worse when she tries to get you to help her on her HydroJesus hike. Marta offering her shoes confuses you, makes you jealous. You decide without thinking to go, make sure little miss Christianity doesn’t get the only brownie points. Or something. You’re not sure why. But you go regardless. 

This is where combativeness shows up.

You can’t help but needle her. She makes it easy, fronting like she’s some kind of badass because her daddy takes her hunting. Everything about this girl screams 1%. So you push a little, taunting her for being a princess and she doubles down on the attempted badassery, and then somehow gets her hands on your shoulders again, inexplicably to get you to turn around so she can pee in private. It’s like she likes you, it’s like she’s determined to shovel through the shit you’re throwing at her and keep smiling that beauty queen smile she’s got on. It’s confusing. And then its intolerable as she starts singing a religious song and the confusion is gone replaced by a strong urge to dig your fingers into your ears and turn the fuck around already. 

You’re ok until she starts praying. You throw an insult at her and she responds with more cheerful banter. This girl is making you insane. You storm ahead and see a branch sticking out in the path, and with the soundtrack of Shelby praying behind you, the devil on your shoulder takes your wheel and smacks her in the face with it. You did expect it to shut her up. You didn’t expect it to send her down the fucking side of the hill you just trekked up. You know the feeling dripping down from your mind to the pit of your stomach, the regret after breaking something, you know it well. And you know it now, and this girl who really hadn’t been doing anything to you is now another name on a list of people you’ve done damage to. And worst of all is she won’t even let you have it in return, she plays the good Christian and you walk back alone, unable to hurt anyone at the point, except yourself. You feel regret, the look in her eyes is the one so many people have given after you careen into their life. You expect her to out your actions when she gets back to the others but doesn’t. Confused at the lack of immediate finger pointing, you let it play, hoping it won’t come back to bite you. 

Uncertainty steps up.

The debate over the phone doesn’t reach you. You don’t have anyone to call. In all honesty the person you would call is standing right there with you. Then suddenly the girl in pink runs off to the side and fucking dies. Drops dead in the sand without saying a word. The shock in Leah’s voice quiets you all and you don’t move, unable to process what the next play is. Thankfully Dot directs the next steps and you help move her body. Shelby, of fucking course, is able to add a religious element and Leah follows up with a Pink song you’re embarrassed to know. The rest of the girls do too. It doesn’t feel too cringe, so you join in the makeshift eulogy song as you help push sand over her body. You’re too shocked to do anything but stare at the fire after. It’s quiet until Shelby turns this into get-to-know-you-exercise. You’re not sure what the fuck is happening but you do know enough that you want to challenge her instinctive after school special moment. She must have a fucking direct line to your thoughts because she drops the virginity bomb and you can’t help but push her buttons more about her boyfriend fooling around on her as you and most of the other girls drink. She and Marty are the only two abstaining, a point that Shelby makes sure to bond with Martha about that makes your uncertainty about what she wants with your best friend worse. It calms down when Rachel calls you out for your little pee indiscretion and the mood lightens. The uncertainty calms. You fall asleep next to Martha. You forget for a minute that you’re fucked beyond belief and literally stranded on a desert island. But you know it’ll be back in the morning. The calm you find in sleep always has a lifespan.

note: if you made it here, thanks. if you’d shoot me a message with any feedback, i’d appreciate it, been a long time since i’ve written and would love to hear thoughts outside of my own.