#old review

[hannahwatcheshorror]

TERRIFIER (2016)

This movie blatantly plagiarized Hannibal Lecter and SAW. The damage tracking makes NO sense, someone will get stabbed directly in their brain or shot point blank in the face but is still alive to endure the next few blows. Multiple people come close enough to actually kill the clown but they never do and then he kills them. Not one iota common sense for any character and if I could unwatch this movie I would. Unoriginal and uninspired.

(Trigger Warning Suicide)

⭐

[Originally given 0 stars but changed one star for my tumblr rating system]

Two girls get stalked by a clown, and I will hand it to them, he is good and creepy. They get taken by him and then the dumb blonde gets sawed in half like the the old torture maneuver but he saws through her bones SO easily it’s stupid. Then the brunette has the opportunity to kill him and fucking doesn't. She is beating the hell out of him with a plank of wood screaming, "get up motherfucker!" instead of just fucking beating him to death when bang(!) he pulls out a gun! He shoots her in the leg, then the stomach, she is still crawling away when he shoots her in the fucking cheek which (point blank from a handgun) gives her a little hole and she is STILL breathing… enough time for him to go, reload, come back and shoot her like 12 more times in the face. 

Usually psychopathic killers with all the costuming and such have rituals to there kills but this guy who is supposedly already an established killer moves from dissecting to axe murder to medieval torture to guns to blunt force trauma to skinning to suffocation to whipping to cannibalism and finally suicide, I mean it's RANDOM. The clown also sustains a lot of damage over the course of the evening but after a moment of rest he seems no worse for wear. Some bullshit goes down with the wacky homeless lady and the brunette girl's sister but the villain doesn't track for me. He doesn't seem the type to use a fucking gun and his motives are super unclear. Is it important that he scares his victims first? What is it about the killings that gets him off? It all just seems like violence but a gun seems a weird choice for him. Also he has mommy issues? Since fucking WHEN.

[shafershouse]

Where The Crawdads Sing

by Delia Owens Released on: Aug. 14, 2018

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My thoughts:

I started reading this book only inferring what the title told me. I knew it was going to take place somewhere in the south, and I knew it was a hyped up story. I didn't know anything else. I didn't have any comments or complaints while reading it. It was a very well written book. It ever so slightly reminded me of To Kill A Mockingbird. This is a good one. I wasn’t expecting it to take the route it did, and part of me wasn’t expecting the ending. Good nonetheless.

[clonerightsagenda]

Spotted the word "blorbo" in The New York Times book review. Listen NYT romance reviewer, I really do not think your paper's audience is going to recognize that one

[academic-vampire]

𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔟𝔬𝔬𝔨𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔞 𝔪𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔩𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔰 📚

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

look at me always spitting FACTS .. im so proud of past me.

i cant believe i saw a reaction blaming diane for what happened with bojack and penny because she moved into his house…supposivley causing wanda to break up with him… as if bj isn’t to blame for his own problems.

.. and coming from a female reactionary  no less.. cause.. of course she realted to BJ minus the child abuse stuff.. .. and a few guy friends also dunk on diane ….suppose i should have seen it coming since they were just shitty to diane in genera in other episodes l but way to make big leaps in logic just because you like the main guy.  you can like main guy and not blame everything on the women.. seriously i dont understand people not realizing liking the shitty character doesn’t mean you excuse their actions and blame it other people..   this is a constant annoying problem in fandoms.. 

[trashyshrew]

[good-pokemon-center-reviews]

[slingbats]

"GIVE ME MY CHICKEN SANDWICH OR SO HELP ME" "Oswald it's just a chicken sandwich you're not ordering it special-" "I DON'T CARE THEY GOT IT WRONG LAST TIME AND THEY WON'T GET IT WRONG AGAIN"

[freckles-and-books]

Sometimes a haunting is a ghost. Sometimes it’s a story you’ve told yourself. Sometimes it’s an inevitable future…or a regretted past. Sometimes what haunts you is malicious, and sometimes it is just a desperate soul needing to be seen. In A.C. Wise’s short story collection, her hauntings take many forms, as do the stories that relate them. From a manual on how to host a haunted house murder mystery party to descriptions of various art pieces to excerpts of a film, Wise’s stories are filled with ghosts, sea creatures, cosmic entities, and haunted humans. I liked most of the stories, and I was deeply impressed by Wise’s beautiful and haunting writing. This cover buy did not disappoint.

“A haunting is a moment of trauma, infinitely repeated. It extends forward and backward in time. It is the hole grief makes. It is a house built by memory in-between your skin and bones."

[bluerosefox]

Tim, buddy, what do you mean you might had accidentally made a Love Child?!

Danny finds out that

1. He's a clonish 'love child' of two heroes

2. He was accidentally created during one of his donors mental break downs after losing his father and best friends (one of which was his other donor)

3. CW interfered before his creator realized what he made and pulled him out of that dimension because "it would had lead that world to true ruin if he found out at his state of mind. He's better now but it would had been the final straw for him should anything had happened to you in his care and given who he had to partner up with later... I did what I had to."

4. Due to Danny having a bad fall out with his parents after he told them about being Phantom (they didn't attack him... but they did disown him.) Danny is left adrift of what to do. He doesn't wanna bug Jazz, she's in college and dorming. Tuckers place has no room. Sam's parents would never let him stay. Vlad was a definitely a no go. And Dani (Ellie) last check in was near the Amazon rainforest.

5. Danny finds out some of his powers might not be as ghostly as he thought... it does explain the huge power boost some of his powers have compared to other ghosts.

6. He went to Clockwork... who proceeded to tell him the truth, smile his cryptic smile while saying "and now. Have fun this time around. I'll see you again in due time Daniel." Before yeeting him into a portal.

7. Danny woke up in his home dimension.... deaged to being five years old (the age he would be if he stayed and grew by now) (DC timeline is slower than DP in this)

8. He woke up apparently his creator's home city... during a Gala (Danny woke up in a garden, dazed and confused. His memories are fuzzy)... and wandered into the party... and apparently he looked like a perfect mix of his.. dads? Which catches A LOT of peoples attention.

9. Especially with Tim Drake-Wayne and Conner Kent-Luthor just announcing they're dating that very night.

10. Rumors and gossip of a random kid, who looks just like the recent happily announced couple, go flying quickly among the elite... and reaches certain ears before it gets to batfam and supers (I have a feeling they learned how to block out rumors and gossips during these events)

11. Those ears happen to be Lex Luthor and Ra's al Ghul (both who are there at the Gala just to annoy and unnerve the Bats and Supers)

12. By the time the rumors get to Tim and Conner, they find Danny almost getting taken away by one of those two.

[valar-did-me-wrong]

My mother starting Rings of Power as a new Tolkien viewer-

Galadriel: THE Lady

Elrond: her Prince boyfriend (elrondriels you are winning)

Gil galad: "I've seen someone wear that dress in _____'s wedding"

Harfoots: kids, all of them

Stranger: grilled chicken man

Halbrand: the titanic guy

Arondir: Shahrukh Khan

(I want you all to know that's the BIGGEST PRAISE you can get for romantic acting here)

Bronwyn: "she can become a Bollywood heroine anyday"

Theo: "he's got your hair from 1st standard" (🙈)

Durin: royal dwarf

Disa: "gold suits her, she'll look so pretty in our jewellery!"

(long winding discussion on how Disa needs more hair jewellery, definitely a maangtika)

[hannahwatcheshorror]

THE LOFT (2014)

Some men are sick f*cks. Clever movie. It sort of took a not so clever turn and it had maybe a few too many twists and turns but otherwise a good film. Glad it ended happy.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Some scummy hot dudes get a loft to share and fuck in (they fuck women, not each other). Things take a turn when a death or two happens there (shown in the very beginning).

One girl had killed herself there (which turned out to be a murder) and then the boy who loved her kills himself after realizing that she didn't die by his “gentle” hand, when his fucked up friend sliced her open he actually killed her. (Suicide warning if you choose to watch.) Come see Billy Butcher pre-Butcher!

[shafershouse]

The Goldfinch

by Donna Tartt Released on: Sept. 23, 2013

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My thoughts: I'm not gonna lie — I still don't entirely know what this book was about. It felt like there were two different plots, and they didn't mesh very well. I think it was primarily supposed to be about Theo's life and what he was supposed to do about this painting? But there really wasn't much about it until you got to the last chunk of the book. Maybe something about choices and how the consequences will run your life. Not sure.

The only thing that saved the book — in my opinion — was that it was very dialogue-heavy which allowed it to quickly flow. I got bored about 3/4 in and skimmed about 40 pages or so. Once I knew I was toward a "final interaction/wrap-up," I started actually reading again.

The book as a whole probably could have been a lot shorter. I was more interested in the first half of the book when Theo was young. Once he reached adulthood, I more or less blanked out.

Also, the ending was kind of lame.

Overall, I didn't think it was something to get excited about. But the book was better than the movie.

[dalekinapaintedparadise]

[lunarhobbits]

memes for people who either are huge dobie gillis fans or have made it over 19 hours into the new Quinton Reviews video

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

first time i disliked bojack..

im like okay good bojack and Penny didn’t have sex but im also. THE FUCK BOJACK you come into this family to steal it away and the mom tells ya to scram so you decide to fuck the daughter cause she claim to want it? THE FUCK MAN..  gahhh......ewww..

I knew this was going to happen i just wasn’t sure when and when i finally knew i just .. kinda of wanted to skip it..  watching it just makes ya feel dirty ugh