#given as a gift

[hufflepuffwritingstuff2]

Christmas Snippet 2023

Supervillain had just finished making a steaming mug of hot chocolate when the doorbell rang.

“Who could that be at this hour?” they wondered.

They approached the front door to their mansion. It had better not be any Christmas carolers, they didn’t have the time or patience for that. Supervillain opened the door and saw no one. Oh brother, a ding-dong ditcher? On Christmas Eve? Supervillain was about to close the door when something brightly colored caught their eye.

A large parcel lay on their doorstep, brightly wrapped in red and green paper and topped with a gold bow. Supervillain tilted their head, puzzled. They usually didn’t receive gifts from anyone this time of year- or any time for that matter- unless it was a trap. Supervillain bent down to examine it. They picked up a small, glitter-covered tag and read a neatly scribbled note.

To: Supervillain

From: Superhero

May this Christmas gift be an offering of peace

Supervillain scoffed. Definitely a trap then. They were just about to close the door when they heard a very faint whimper from inside the box. Their eyes widened. That better not have been what they thought it was. They lifted the box with their powers- it was quite heavy- and hastily brought it inside, closing the door behind them.

Supervillain worked quickly to tear off the paper. Underneath was a thick, metal box. Lifting the lid, Supervillain held in a gasp at what they saw. Nestled in the padded box was Hero, a gas mask strapped to their face and several straps restraining them tightly. Angry, purple bruises and red gashes littered their battered body, and their suit was in tatters. One of their eyes was black and swollen, and they had burn marks between some of the gashes. Hero had put up quite a fight before ending up in the box. They whimpered in their sleep, as even their dreams couldn’t remove the pain.

Supervillain quickly undid the straps and pulled off the gas mask, gently lifting Hero into their arms. They carried the crime-fighter over to the couch and laid them down, leaving to get a med kit.

…

Hero stirred on a soft surface. They opened bleary eyes to a grand yet cozy living room. They tried to sit up, but strong hands pushed them back down.

“No, no, stay down,” a voice said, “you’re very hurt.”

Hero’s vision cleared up and their eyes widened.

“S-Supervillain-”

“Shh, yes, it’s me,” Supervillain admitted, “it’s alright, I won’t hurt you. It seems Superhero’s done enough of that already.”

Hero sniffled, tears brimming in their eyes.

“M-my whole team, actually,” Hero said, wiping their tears.

Supervillain stiffened, their gaze becoming dark and hard.

“What?”

“I…I shouldn’t have said that. Forget I said anything.”

Supervillain took one of Hero’s hands- it was heavily bandaged- and looked them in the eye.

“You are going to tell me everything now,” they said, “or I will kill all of them this very minute.”

Hero blinked in fear, and Supervillain sighed.

“Please,” they added, their tone softer, “tell me what happened.”

Hero gulped, and told Supervillain everything.

The plan was Superhero’s. Supervillain had been wreaking havoc on the city since Thanksgiving, and enough was enough. The heroes weren’t strong enough to stop them, but maybe if they had a peace offering…

“Hero,” Superhero had said, “meet me in the training room, please.”

Hero thought it was an odd request, considering it was Christmas Eve, but they didn’t have any plans, so they did as they were told. Once they arrived, the doors swung shut behind them, locking in place.

“Superhero?” Hero asked, “what is this?”

“I’m sorry, Hero,” the older crime-fighter said, “you’ve been a loyal upholder of justice, but we need results now.”

Hero’s team came out of the shadows, surrounding them.

“I hope you understand.”

“Superhero, wait-”

The blast of fire came from the left, the electricity from the right, and the throwing stars went right into their back. Hero cried out, forming an ice dome to shield themselves. Superhero slammed their fists into it, making it shatter. They landed a few good hits right to Hero’s face, while Vigilante got them a few times with a knife. Every attempt Hero made to fight back was weakened by Teammate 1’s fire and Teammate 2’s electricity.

‘Stop it! Stop it!” Hero screamed, “I haven’t done anything!”

Eventually, Superhero put them out of their misery. A sharp pinch in their neck, and Hero quickly went limp. Their former team stepped away to let them breathe.

“Why?” Hero breathed tearfully.

“It had to be someone, Hero,” Superhero said, “you just happened to be the weak link.”

Hero’s vision faded just as Vigilante approached them with the straps.

The room was silent for what felt like an eternity.

“I’ll murder each and every one of them,” Supervillain promised quietly.

“But you said you’d kill them if I didn’t tell you!” Hero protested.

“My dear little Hero,” Supervillain said gently, cupping the side of Hero’s face with a hand, “they don’t deserve your mercy.”

“Please, Supervillain, don’t kill them, I don’t want that on my conscience-”

“Your conscience? You’ve done nothing wrong, and it is no fault of yours if I make myself the consequence of their actions.”

“Please,” Hero begged, fresh tears forming, “it’s Christmas!”

Supervillain sighed. They scanned Hero’s mangled body, their wounds covered in bandages and their eyes pleading.

“I will spare their lives for now,” Supervillain said, “if only for your sake.”

“Thank you, Supervillain,” Hero said softly, “could you please take me home?”

Supervillain paused, then shook their head.

“Don’t those so-called heroes know where you live?” they prompted gently.

Hero’s face fell.

“…Yeah… yeah they do.”

“I will go by your house and get your things for you,” Supervillain offered, “you’ll be safe with me.”

Supervillain got up to leave. They turned to Hero one last time.

“Try to rest, little one,” they said, “I’ll be back soon.”

Hero nodded, settling into the couch. They drifted off shortly after Supervillain left.

…

By the time Supervillain returned, all the news channels were reporting the vicious attack on the hero team. Teammate 1 had third degree burns littering their entire body, Teammate 2’s scarred body was still twitching and spasming from the repeated exposure to electric currents, Vigilante looked like a pin cushion with all the sharp weapons stabbed into them, but Superhero? Superhero was on a ventilator, every bone broken, their lips and fingertips blue from stage four hypothermia, and one lung collapsed.

Supervillain kept the TV off; Hero didn’t need to see any of that, it would only distress them further. Supervillain, however, needed the closure. Turns out revenge made an excellent Christmas gift to oneself.

[morganbritton132]

A fan posts to their socials a video of them whispering about how Eddie Munson is in the same store as them and, “Do I go say hi? People says he’s nice but I don’t want to bother him, and he’s on the phone. What do I do???”

Then in the background, you can faintly hear Eddie say into his phone, “Saturday? Yeah, I’m free.”

Followed by a louder voice that sounds like it’s right next to the camera because it is, Steve says, “No, you’re not! Ozzy has a birthday party.”

“You were serious about that?”

“No, Ed. I just put in the calendar for no reason,” Steve says, eye roll present in his voice. “Also, this girl wants a picture with you.”

[neobastard]

NO FUCKING WAY.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

They would all happily wear the shirt

[disgracefulthings]

Shang Qinghua, mumbling: My kids are going to be the death of me...

Luo Binghe, ease dropping: Shang-Shishu has kids?

Shang Qinghua: Would it kill Junshang to do his own fucking paperwork...

Luo Binghe: SHANG-SHISHU IS MY DAD!?

[the-mother-of-lions]

for @glaftwlet

[sea-buns]

SO insane that Sam has seen AND liked this... I'm so cozy in my little tumblr corner that I forget my words can escape containment and be perceived beyond Aabria Iyengar

[ew-selfish-art]

Dpxdc Au - Tim and Danny are Twins, have been through all the introductions and after a few years decide to have The Audacity. 

At some point it hits the two of them, that they really do act alike sometimes. Like, mannerisms and small detail micro expressions, the whole nine, so Danny and Tim decide to take advantage of this.

Parent trap style swapping but all within the same household, they cut their hair and swap clothes, and get in a few practice runs around the halls of Wayne Manor. No one in the family catches them through at least 3 family dinners, so they go for the larger gambit. 

Tim wants to go to high school for a bit and get back into skate boarding with low stakes- Thats what he tells Danny at least, he really wants to spend the time dismantling the GIW from the epicenter in Amity Park. It works out that Tim accomplishes this in record time (explosives didn’t require ethics in his opinion) and does actually get to enjoy his hobbies again for a bit. 

Danny wants to tell off the WE board members and get some proper Red Robin training so he’s not so dependent on his powers when facing human enemies (they were squishier than ghosts, restraint was key)- That’s what he tells Tim when the reality is he’s going to lead a hostile takeover of DalvCo. and well, yeah, actually get some training in. 

No one catches on except for Kon. 

After they’ve swapped back and their missions are debriefed, Tim asks him why he never fell for it? Simply put: “Uh, dude. Your twin doesn’t have a heartbeat half the time, it was pretty easy to tell.” 

[starflungwaddledee]

from: @starflungwaddledee to: @post-it-notes7

message from santa: "happy holidays post-it-notes! 🎄🥳 i know you very politely only wished for a few modest things- characters high fiving, or struggling in christmas attire- but i hope you'll still enjoy this given that i kinda went the opposite direction entirely! i'm an enormous fan of your work and most times you post anything i wind up browsing your art tag from tip-to-tail in enraptured delight. as such, i thought it was only fair i give back something a little more significant in gratitude for all the joy your work has given me. i knew i wanted to do a comic, so i was thrilled you already had a whole storyverse for me to work from!! this scene seemed the most obvious choice (chapter 8 of "wishful thinking" on ao3) given that i enjoy a dramatic fight scene 😂 i tried to stick as beat-by-beat to the writing as i could and worked in as many details as possible; i hope it'll be fun to see it envisioned this way! merry christmas! ~starflung 🎀🔔 "

[canisalbus]

gothic lolita machete came to me in a dream

.

[statementofjoespookie]

tma but the magnus institute is a cat cafe

info below cut

these are the hastily written notes from 1 am

my real life job is at a cat cafe and i LOVE cat cafe AUs but theres a lot more to it than cats and coffee, so I'd like 2 do it justice

shout out @fl0w3r-p0wer for being my wife and aiding in this

[tonydaddingham]

unhinged that gabriel had such a heartbreaking reaction to beelzebub giving him something because noone had given him anything before, because now it's got me thinking about angels existing in an environment and under a regime where you don't really have anything to call your own - all your own. so what potentially did crowley first give to aziraphale to call his own and what book do you think it was

[nibbelraz]

Human courting methods: Gift Giving

[royalarchivist]

Richarlyson: You're skinny sir, are you eating well these days?

Pac: Not really. To tell you the truth, I've been eating... I stole, together with my son, we stole some cupcakes from the Federation. I ate some, but I know chocolate isn't the best thing to eat, right?

Richarlyson: 12 kilos D:

Pac: 12 kilos?!? No– what? My god. My god... Am I malnourished, Doctovo? Am I- Am I malnourished?

Richarlyson: You weigh less than a pitbull, sir.

Pac: Less than the singer? Damn... [Laughs]

Richarlyson: [Hits Pac]

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

A few interesting parallels in the SoC duology that I don’t think I’ve seen anyone talk about yet

(Analysis/discussion of these parallels/quotes may come later if anyone's interested)

“These creatures were made to be weapons” - Jarl Brum on Grisha, Six of Crows chapter 35

“He looked like what he truly was: a weapon” - Jesper Fahey on the Khergud, Crooked Kingdom chapter 36

“Welcome to the Hellshow” - Kaz to Nina, Six of Crows chapter 6

“Welcome to the Ice Court, Nina Zenik” - Matthias to Nina, Six of Crows chapter 34

“Is this a play?” - Alys Van Eck “Yes love, and you’re the star” - Jesper Fahey, Crooked Kingdom chapter 8 when Alys is taken captive

“What was this but a play Kaz had staged, with that poor sucker Kuwei as the star?” - Jesper Fahey on the auction plan, Crooked Kingdom chapter 36

“he looked like a priest come to preach to group of circus performers” - Inej on Kaz’s appearance in comparison to the rest of the Barrel, Six of Crows chapter 2

“started to preach” - Inej on Kaz leading a coup against Per Haskell, Crooked Kingdom chapter 27

“Whoever he had become, Matthias was not going to shoot someone unarmed. He'd not yet sunk so far” - Matthias Helvar, Six of Crows chapter 29

“I am unarmed” - Matthias Helvar, Crooked Kingdom chapter 38

"I didn't even know the rules of Makker's Wheel" - Jesper Fahey on his first night gambling in the Barrel, Six of Crows chapter ()

"He knew his guns better than he knew the rules of Makker's Wheel" - Jesper Fahey on the concept of aim and its relationship to his life and his zowa/Grisha abilities, Crooked Kingdom chapter 36

“a tiny voice inside him said he should offer to take the drug as well […] maybe he could have helped to draw the parem out of Nina’s system and set her free. But that was a hero’s voice and Jesper had long since stopped thinking he had the makings of a hero” - Jesper Fahey, Six of Crows chapter 44

“Matthias gave you the remaining parem, didn’t he?” “So?” “[…] I can’t let my father down again. I need the parem as a security measure” “No” “Why the hell not?” - Jesper and Kaz in discussion about the auction plan, Crooked Kingdom chapter 30

I'll probably be back to add more, feel free to add your own as well

[marzipanandminutiae]

So much is said in the Crimson Peak fandom about Tom Hiddleston’s ass

And not enough about Jessica Chastain backlit in a translucent white nightgown with apparently nothing underneath