#give my tendency to be absolutely crazy about sibling characters

[waitineedaname]

I think the thing that gets me about the LQG-LMY age gap is the implication that SVSSS martial sects serve to sever your ties from your family. This is admittedly skewed by our protagonist being SQQ, but at no point do we hear about any of the Qing Jing disciples getting visits from family members. SQH's family doesn't even get a mention. And so LQG is making a conscious decision to go back to meet this baby (a girl, even, in what isn't ancient China levels of misogyny but is still PIDW) and spend enough time with her that she chooses to follow him up this mountain away from everything she knows. I don't think it was For him but it was something that registered as desirable to her because he was there and able to tell her about it, you know? No wonder PIDW LMY is so ready to avenge him, when he clearly was the one to choose her first

actually, we do hear about the Qing Jing disciples getting visits from family members! Ming Fan mentions his family visiting during the fake jade fight, which is why he had his own little jade trinket to show off to Ning Yingying -- because his family brought it. I think he's the only one to mention getting visits from family though, so maybe that's just a Ming Fan thing lol

even still, it definitely seems like a big deal that Liu Qingge would have any relationship at all with his baby sister! I mean, he was head disciple if not peak lord when she was born, he was probably busy. he could've very easily responded to the news that his parents were having another kid by just being like cool 👍 and then moving on, but he apparently didn't since they have some semblance of a relationship! I mean, they're described as not super close but still having a good relationship, and she still ended up in the same cultivation sect at him, and still apparently teamed up with Bingge to avenge him in PIDW, so they definitely care for each other despite the age difference!

[jerreeeeeee]

there's nothing inherently wrong or unhealthy with a platonic relationship being the most intimate and important in someone's life (whether that person is also in a romantic relationship or not). this has been said before but people still treat it like its true. ESPECIALLY that a prioritized platonic relationship belies “codependency” even though no one would bat an eye at the exact same dynamic if it were romantic, because of the idea that a prioritized platonic relationship is somehow immature/unhealthy and something to grow out of/move on from.

the idea that the twins just go, well, you've been the person i felt safest loving and trusting in my entire life, our souls have been bound by fate and magic and our love for one another is one of the strongest bonds in the multiverse, transcending death and unimaginable loss, the motivation behind everything we’ve ever done, but since we're both in romantic relationships now and the story is over, the reasonable and in-character thing to do would be to split up and have separate nuclear families because that's the "healthy thing" (read: expected thing). there's no other form of a domestic happy ending than a marriage and typical nuclear family. you're everything to me, my entire world, my heart, see you later.

ok this got too long i'm putting it under a readmore.

(also why i don't really like the idea that taako adopts angus. "parent" is not the only important, loving role an adult can play in a child's life but people feel that need to shove everything into a nuclear family. also taako has too much going on to be the good parent that angus needs anyway. and magnus and lucretia are right there (separately, to me; they don’t have to be partners—romantic or platonic—to ‘coparent’ together). but this is another post <- this is actually a fan fiction i’m writing, kind of)

i just find that frankly silly. i truly believe that the twins live together for the rest of their lives and are always each others' most important person (before anyone kills me i do think barry is there too. they also both love him so much. capacity for love INCREASES there’s no need for a replacement or a “moving on” it’s an addition). there's not any reason they wouldn't live together other than that it’s not “normal?” but why would they give a shit about that. their prioritization of one another isn't the unhealthy thing about their relationship. they do have other stuff going on that's actually codependent, but i think they eventually work past it and come to have a healthier (yet no less close) relationship. actually this post was originally just supposed to be about those codependent tendencies but i felt like i needed to compensate by clarifying that there are only a very specific few things abt their dynamic i find unhealthy and that by and large they’re fine, actually.

the main thing is, as is so succinctly put in this post—they aren't able to communicate about big, important decisions. not to say they never communicate about anything, i think they actually do communicate effectively about a lot of things—warning i’m going into a complete tangent here—i see a lot an idea that they’re not siblings who hug or really verbalize affection at all which is crazy to me (<- personal opinion alert) like they’re closed off and distrusting (taako more than lup, but she’s certainly not exempt from their trauma) to other people and the world at large but they have always always been each other’s exception, each other’s utmost safe place, the one person they could be absolutely comfortable around, who they never have to be afraid of. that’s one of the things i find so compelling about them, that they trust each other with their entire selves. they have no reason to ever feel defensive around each other. oh to be known so entirely and intimately and never feel ashamed or afraid of judgement or abandonment. augh. so i do think they hug.

also—i don't think they "don't know how to be a person without each other" like that's certainly not true for lup and i don't really think it's true for taako either. they have their own distinct personalities and identities they just also both inform each others’ lives. they're an integral part of each other's identity the way your family or best friend or partner or most important person in your life is but again i think that's fine.

but back to the topic at hand anyway they DO hide their misgivings from each other when it comes to huge shit with world-changing, life-threatening consequences lol. when it comes to, like, turning herself into a lich, or leaving to recover her dangerous magical artifact, lup feels like she needs to be entirely decisive and confident for taako, and when it comes to his sister turning herself into a lich, or proposing a dangerous magical artifact plan, taako feels like he needs to be unflinchingly supportive and loyal for lup. and those both backfire obviously. because they trust each other so completely that they don't trust each other enough to not trust each other. weird paradox.

but really its not a lack of trust in each other its their own insecurities projected onto each other. lup second guesses herself but feels like she can’t express that uncertainty so she’s alone with her doubts which increases the pressure and stress and creates a feedback loop that only makes her more insecure. and taako feels like he doesn’t have anything to bring to the table other than backing up lup and is afraid doubting her would hurt her which means he never has an opportunity to find out he does actually have good ideas and that lup would listen to him constructively. but it manifests in lup “not trusting taako” to have her back even if she doubts herself and taako “not trusting lup” to take criticism even if his idea is good.

and honestly i think the solution to this just comes with… not being in those lifethreatening situations anymore. the universe was saved and they have normal (magical fantasy world) lives. so now when they’re hiding things from each other the stakes are a lot lower. and when the stakes are lower they’re able to express uncertainty because they don’t feel that extreme and terrifying pressure anymore. lup doesn’t have to make impossible decisions and stick to them despite any doubt because she doesn’t have the survival of entire worlds on her back anymore. taako doesn’t have to always agree with lup and uncritically support her every choice because he’s not the only thing holding her together from oblivion anymore. so they're able to express doubts and nothing falls apart and they're actually stronger for it. and they’re already doing so much work on fixing their relationship just from being separated and kinda grieving for a decade too, so they eventually work past that.

and also because they have to face those insecurities and their consequences. lup got trapped in umbrella limbo for a decade and taako had his life destroyed. if lup had been able to overcome her need to put everything on her shoulders and expressed uncertainty, if taako had been able to overcome his blind loyalty and expressed doubt, would they have gone through with the relics? would they have even gone through with the lich plan? they realize only afterward that they should’ve talked about it, and so they learn from their mistakes.

another tangent—isn’t it so crazy how, by any standard, lup should be the strongwilled, passionate, heroic protagonist and taako her cynical, pragmatic, yet loyal sidekick? and yet he’s the protagonist and she the supporting character in the actual narrative? so subversive and intriguing. i cant believe this was all masterfully and purposefully written. anyway. (<- in the in-universe metanarrative version of the story, lup [and honestly, probably davenport] is the tragic ghost who haunts the narrative and lucretia & barry are the morally gray protagonist foils, and tres horny boys are supporting characters/comic relief who go on to have their own semi-important b-plot arcs that ultimately serve to further the protagonists’ arcs. btw.)

back to the twins. i also think they don't only grow post-canon, i think they grow a LOT during the century, because in the beginning, they're coming from a life where they have been not only the most important people in each other's lives, but the ONLY people in each other's lives. and now they're suddenly faced with more people, which they handle fine individually, more or less—lup is faster to warm up to the others, but even though taako's attitude is very much that he only cares about him and his, he is capable of expanding the people who are "his" (eventually). but they've never had to bring other people into their dynamic with each other before.

i don't think either of them are possessive, their relationship is built on deepest mutual respect and love and trust and "possessiveness" is kinda antithetical to that, but they can both be jealous on occasion. although there is a difference—lup is the only one who will outwardly display jealousy (and maybe a better word than jealousy would be insecurity), again because of the dynamic earlier: taako must always support whatever decisions lup makes without question. so when taako dies one cycle and all of a sudden merle and magnus and everyone else grieve him too, lup perhaps feels a sense of ownership over grief (not over taako himself, but over loving taako, just because no one else ever really has before, and she’s never had to think about the possibility that he might love other people too) that she initially may not challenge but does eventually let go of, because it's actually a good thing that other people love him now, and bringing new people into their family doesn’t make their love for each other any less. and taako has a similar experience but tbh i think its a little easier for him bc, like, who wouldn’t love lup, and lup loves other people way more freely than taako does (still not super freely, its a low bar). not that lup thinks taako is unloveable OBVIOUSLY (taako does think he’s unloveable tho) i just think they have different attitudes abt it, like they both have the moments of “but you don’t love them like i do!!” which is true, no one loves them like they do, but taako’s more willing to let that shit go bc he just doesn’t care as much what the others do as long as they don’t fuckin bother him about it. like lup sees the others equate (as she sees it, but oc they’re not actually grieving At Her) their (comparatively shallow) grief to her world-shattering loss of her twin brother, best friend, only family, soulmate, silly rabbit, and she gets angry about it, but taako’s reaction is more like, “ok they’re stupid. who cares.” meanwhile and more importantly, all of a sudden lup is falling in love with barry, but taako's not one to throw a fit or demand that he's the only one who can love lup nor the only one lup can love. she’s made her decision. he just gives barry advice and lets it quietly hurt and draws distant, because he has a deep seated fear of abandonment that is now, for the first time, clashing with his unshakable trust in lup. and their relationship irrevocably changes but maybe not for the worse, because taako has, for the first time, doubted lup, a disruption to their typical (codependent) dynamic. but, of course, in the end his fears are unfounded and lup pulls him back in, because their capacity for love increases—of course lup still loves him just as much and yknow what, so does barry, and so does the rest of the crew. so he doubts and fears and is proven wrong. and so they grow and change, and their world increases from two to seven.

but that doubt doesn’t really go away for a long time, exacerbated and strained the more lup keeps secrets (especially with barry) until it reaches a head when lup finally doubts taako and does truly abandon him. but again, of course, never on purpose and never forever, they find their way back to each other despite everything and, again, come away stronger for it. the idea that the twins’ relationship is never as close again after story and song is so fucking tragic and heartrending but really i just think its unrealistic. because the rift between them is what caused their pain in the first place, of course they wouldn’t just shrug and move on. they would do anything for each other, including a lot of difficult emotional work and healing. for a little while they do have to deal with the reality that they’re not as close as they were. but they can be again. it just takes time and effort.

but anyway just to drive my point home—we mostly see taako's side of it since he is the protagonist in the real world narrative, but lup is always, always positioned within that narrative as the most important person to him. (and even then, lup says as much for taako! she loves barry of course but she loves taako so much he’s her heart!!) when thb see their lives after the hunger in paloma's prophecy, taako sees himself cooking with lup. she's textually representative of healing and joy in his future, and she's the main character present in his epilogue too. she's his greatest loss and his greatest love, positioned in exactly the same place as julia and merle's kids. there are a myriad of love stories going on in balance and a myriad of love stories involving taako that are all beautiful and significant in their own right but i really do think the main one in his life is lup!!

well all that to say they’re my favorite little critters ever and i’m studying them under a microscope forever. how do you end posts

[astargatelover]

First of all 🐱 bonk

second of all - even though or most likely because I know what you'll be talking about: 🦐

😺 Bonk back!!!

Secondly: I was hoping you'd ask that! 🦐 :D

So, my current shrimp emotion story is (as you know) The Fairytale of the 12 Months, or Das Märchen von den 12 Monaten in German; a little German fairytale movie with just under an hour of runtime, loosely based on a Slavic folk tale of the same name.

The Months have actual human form in it, and I go absolutely feral for them, my heart is overflowing with love. ❤️ The temptation was there to just talk about my fave among them here, but I decided no, I love them all, I wanna talk about them all a little bit.

And here's the twist: The creators of the movie decided that 12 is a bit high a number of main characters (and I'm inclined to agree), so not all the Months have the same importance to the story. But because taking background and side characters and giving them life is exactly my thing, that suits me just fine. So, I'm gonna try to write each Month a short description here without making it possible to tell who is one of the (like 4,5, btw) main characters for someone who hasn't seen the movie. Let's see if I can manage to seem confident enough in the Months I don't have as good a grip on yet and hold back on the ones I already do know very well! 😆 Without further ado, here we go:

January: one of the oldest Months. a dignified lady; not fazed anymore by the crazy antics the others get up to. has her own mischievous side too, though.

February: a bit antisocial and grumpy. snarky, rude at times; deep down, tho, he feels underappreciated (and is he wrong? be honest, when asked to rank the months by favorite, where would February be on your list?); longs to be loved.

March: a go-getter; most tenacious problem solver of the Months. pretty, but practical about it. true to her status as the first month of Spring, she likes gardening and taking care of living things (including her Month siblings, in the broadest sense).

April: lives to honor his month's first day; a prankster, but never a hurtful one. nonchalant nearly to the point where it becomes a problem at times. happy-go-lucky, his motto is “Enjoying chaos keeps away strife”.

May: at peace with himself and very relaxed as a result; hard to perturb (April keeps trying). incredibly kind and helpful, enjoys being of assistance to others; does the majority of household chores at the Months' place because he finds it fun.

June: “full of himself” is underselling June's self-perception; vain, cocky, self-proclaimed most beautiful of the Months. stickler for the rules, highly developed sense of fashion; very focused on himself, the only one he adores nearly as much is July, his love. still cares about the rest of the Months and will fight for them when he has to.

July: just as fashion-conscious as June, but much less self-absorbed about it. fashion designer, very joyful and optimistic lady. most outgoing Month; quite unlike her boyfriend, likes to lend a helping hand whenever she can.

August: shyest of all the Months; very unlike her fellow Summer Months, especially. speaks very softly, if at all. loves nothing more than being out in nature on her own; expert flower crown weaver.

September: just as wild and stormy as her month; tomboyish tendencies. temperamental, brisk. cares more about doing what's right than what is correct (clashes with June especially often because of this, among other things).

October: bookish, curious, bit of a recluse. shy and quiet also, but in a different way from August, more of a shut-in than an outdoorsman (gets along splendidly with her, anyway). a painter.

November: grandmotherly vibes. the only Month older than January; overall very kindly and sweet, also likes making sure her fellow Months are well taken care of. knits and sleeps a lot, the latter not always voluntarily.

and last but not least,

December: calling him “jolly” would be an understatement; merriment personified. Warm disposition despite the coldness of his month. Impassioned interior decorator.

And here is the fam, all lined up in order:

That's all twelve of them! Whew, that took longer than I expected! Still, I'm happy with it. (See how I snuck in everyone's genders? Was surprisingly not easy.)

@people who haven't seen the movie: I'd love to hear your guesses as to who the main Months in the movie actually are! I'm curious how well I did.

And if anyone is interested in checking the movie out after seeing this post: It's available for free online and I've translated the whole dialogue into English! If you'd like me to send that to you, hit me up.

[netsage]

my thoughts on the new HYUNA song drop and the various scenes in the song

1. Mizi rebels (no surprise), but interestingly, is being kissed multiple times by Hyuna to kind of drag her out of her discomfort/thoughts, some type of new ship or platonic relations??? (i’m not sure, but if that’s the case, im open to it, seems like an another great arc and more character development in one way or another)

2. Mizi’s hair was cut off, leaving behind past memories (that’s great! (she looks hot, im not complaining) question is, does this also mean she has moved past from her grievance for Sua?) (does this mean that possible romantic indication with Hyuna? if so, im happy for her for moving on, im sure Sua would too tbh…)

3. Hyuna has like defo a some sort of love hate relations with Luka, cuz he literally killed her brother (HE IS INSANE) (i officially dub him as like some scheming yandere with like manipulative tendencies, cuz she payed attention to him once and he goes like “give me more” anddddd she doesn’t cuz she needs to care for her sibling and he gets jealous and just starts a fight and so happens to “accidentally” push him or something and he’s dead. bro casually looks up to Hyuna and says “woops, i didn’t mean to” and from there on, she just feels absolutely rage and just thinks he’s insanely brainwashed in some way)

4. Hyuna’s group is bonkers and they all just flirt for fun (head canon she’s actually bi/les) anddddd she saved mizi cuz she saw her and was like “omg, my possible partner fr? i’ll give her everything (refer to the scene where Mizi and Hyuna fought like the alien bots or smth and like was infiltrating what i think was probs a base of some sort + like little hugs and kisses (those were so cute)), fuck you luka”

5. Ivan and Till is expect to fight in the next round… and slight foreshadowing, someone hits till’s face, does this possibly mean that he is eliminated in the next round????

6. (continuing from point 5!) but Ivan is said to have feelings for Till, so another possibility is that they try and do a duet, like what Sua and Mizi did. (will they be successful or end up the same fate as the both of them? tragic, but it may happen)

7. another scenario is the Ivan ends up the winner, and Hyuna and her gang comes and pull Till out from the situation (aka just like Luka and Mizi round), then it would be like crazy for Till to handle since Mizi would be there. (or alternatively, Mizi tries to convince Hyuna to save Till cuz Till is her friend (LMAO friend zone fr), and it worked, in which same shit goes down.) (but question is, if this case happens, will Ivan try and report the case and find Till? meaning which, he rebels more (ANOTHER REBEL IVAN ARC (just a teeny bit) ?) and eventually sneaks out to search for Till (his beloved lmao). )

8. but a possible scenario too in that round could be that Till gives up on singing and Ivan punches the absolute shit out of him to force him to sing (or vice versa cuz Till is mad that Ivan is just pitying him or that he’s just giving up so easily just so he can live)

9. OR ANOTHER SCENARIO (there’s so many im sorry😞) is that like Till don’t care (just like when he did in the round with some side character 😭😭), and then screws over Ivan, Ivan just goes like “i wish you the best my liege” and then explodes and Till just either “idc” or “what the fuck have i done”

10. WHAT IF TILL HAS LIKE LINGERING FEELINGS??? (i lowkey headcanon him as like bi but he has this one case of internalised homophobia, refer to like the cover they made with like ‘MY CLEMATIS’ ) cuz like Ivan tried saving him yk, so what if, like he comes to regret that afterwards (head canon, when he’s stressed he feels extremely nauseous to the point he puked like multiple times and got beat up for being like high maintenance, which would explain more about why he’s so feral dog angry at the aliens all the time) (and also cuz like they did like a lot of fucked up shit, any sane human would grow to hate them tbh, so it’s valid, but i like to think that it gives him more reason to want to rebel them even more out of more spite and just plain hatred for what they have done to like the contestants and Mizi (especially her))

11. also back to the topic of luka…. (i hate this man, but his song is so good 😠😠😠), will like he come and find Hyuna? like lowkey Luka and Hyuna interaction fr??? (probs like confrontation in a sense, and then one of them like goes feral or something cuz obvs someone is OBSESSED with like Hyuna 😞😞😞)

ALSO, referring back to point 5, Till gets eliminated and yk the whole “win or die” process, and Ivan just turns into the next Mizi (vengeance or smth) or he just mourns, and refuses to do anything more (REBEL ARC maybe)

another thing i would like to add on from point 3 is that i imagine the three of them just discussing ways to possibly get out of this situation alive, and just was blissfully happy for like awhile cuz they’re all together in this and up till the day Luka (the insane bastard) killed her brother, she actually admired him for like his skills (in terms of able to perform and stuff)

I MAY BE WRONG (but it’s my thoughts and i would like my fellow alien stage enjoyers to give me their insight too, cuz rn i’m just ranting about my little expectations 😞😞)

[zukkaart]

10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 tags

Thank you @fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma for the tag ily 😭 and I love talking about my faves so here we go 🤸 *long-ish post*

——-

1. Sokka: A:tLA: Okayyyy so as someone who is Inuk she whole S/NWT meant so much to me as a kid and still means so much to me now but Sokka just hits on a different level because he’s the oldest sibling (as am I) and therefore charged with everyone else’s safety in one way or another. He also is the one who deals the killing blows bc the others can’t or won’t stomach it which I relate to hevily

2. Bolin: LoK: He reminds me of my husband what else can I say? They think he’s a pretty, strong, stupid, earthbender/ which to an extent- he is. But he’s just smart in different ways than others and genuinely has a heart of gold and just wants to give everyone endless love

3. River Song: Doctor who: we have the same hair so immediately yes. She also has one of the best and most heartbreaking arcs in cinema history and I will fight about it. She destroyed the universe to save her husband then said “I don’t do weddings” and honestly…I get it bc same

4. Castiel: Supernatural: MY SON DESERVED BETTER. He lost his home, his family, his faith, everything he had known for THOUSANDS of years because he fell in love with humanity Dean. He constantly tried his best and yes messed up but was always treated so harshly as if he didn’t have to LEARN how to have human morals and the only people he had to base off of was the boys who are in no way a good bar to measure that by

5. Amber: House of Anubis: oooh pretty ditzy blonde girl comic relief character- but she becomes one of the most fully fleshed out deep characters and ends up being the reason they solve most of the riddles and find the artifacts. She loves her shopping and texting but when the heat is up she always rises to the challenge and shows out. Queen of my heart

6. Flame Princess: Adventure Time: raised to be evil but falls in love and has to learn how not to harm people even though it 100% goes against her nature. And even after all that she is still treated like a villain by everyone but Finn basically. I have ASPD and I constantly feel like I also have to be something I’m not in order to not harm the people around me and the ones who let me be me are few and far between. She is me I am her

7. Sherlock: See above lol, he has ASPD (sociopathy) and so do I. Plus I’m studying to be a CSI. Seeing a character with my same illness shown in the real raw form and not like the “yeah they’re a sociopath but their character arc is learning how to be a good person!” Ew. They let him be cruel and clever and just authentically HIM. Of course he’s checked when necessary but ultimately no one ever tells him he needs to be fixed because of it bc they understand that part of him can’t be changed

8. House: kind if similar as above. I don’t super love the drugs but he takes no shit and dicks around because he knows he’s the best there is. Endless pranks, self destructive tendencies, smartest person you’ll ever meet, what more could you ask for? It’s also super awesome to watch a character/show that isn’t so focused on being “politically correct” that it forgets how to make good jokes.

9. Sejanus: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (book): People say Katniss is Lucy’s revenge but NO she’s Sejanus’ revenge, and so is Peeta. Sejanus was the one who hated the games, tried to actually help the tributes and districts and stop the games. He wanted revolution way back when Snow was a teenager and didn’t even live to see it. The only difference between him and Everlark is the fact that they had a whole rebellion ready to back them. He should have been alive to take the place of Coin/Snow and I stand by that.

10. J.B. Merlin: Bundle of Joy: this is so crazy niche if anyone knows it DM me immediately I’m begging you. An absolute icon this entire movie. The center of a comedy miscommunication trope. Has no idea what’s going on but refuses to let his son walk out on his baby (that’s not actually his but he thinks it is), immediately assumes the baby was named after him, then delivers the iconic line “I don’t care who the father is! I’M the grandfather” homie wanted a grandkid and didn’t care what he had to do to get one 😂 10/10 wholesome character

~~~~~~

Now for tags. Sorry if you’ve been tagged already! And if you haven’t please participate if you so wish

@avatar-lorra @judebellinghamswifereal @momos-servants @chitsangenthusiast @dancergirl131 @zukosasukelovebot (I think you’ve been tagged already but ily 🤟) @picnicbitchsokka @your-royal-momoness @oldpotatoe @bisexuallsokka

[riddlerosehearts]

seeing your pfp + url combination under a twst post gave me such a jolt omg... i've been out of the pjo fandom for a very long time but it's so cool seeing another twst & pjo liker! I still dip my toes back into the fandom from time to time like via searching the tags of my favourite characters, but i love seeing people like you still passionately into it around to talk about the series and its characters. now my question is... which of the cabins do you think your fav twst characters would belong in, or vice versa - which pjo favs in which twst dorms? for me, i think leo might work in ignihyde which i do kinda want to draw some time!

oh hey anon!! haha, i've been into twst for almost exactly a year now (literally started playing the prologue on february 18th 2023) but i've loved pretty much the whole PJO universe since i was a kid, and the TV show coming out recently got me thinking about it again and made me wanna switch to a nico icon for a bit. this is such a fun question! i'll start this by warning you that i tend to ramble and give overly lengthy answers to things.

hmm, i'll do twst characters in camp half-blood cabins first--my top faves are riddle and idia, so i'll sort them and also silver because i thought of an idea i like for him.

riddle: i definitely get the vibe that he's a son of athena, and maybe he could also be a legacy of themis, the titan goddess of law and order! also definitely becomes head counselor, probably at a fairly young age similarly to annabeth.

idia: i know this is an extremely obvious answer, but of course he and ortho are hades kids. though if idia would ever leave his cabin, he might find that he could get along well with some of the quieter hephaestus kids. also...

^ not my meme, found it on reddit a while back lol. ALSO like... he and nico both love nerdy things, used to be a lot more upbeat, and admired heroic figures until they were traumatized by the deaths of their siblings. and then for both of them their parentage and family history also plays a part in their isolation and jaded outlook on life. i guess this isn't really relevant to the question but i just wanted to say that it's crazy how similar their stories are.

silver: stays unclaimed in the hermes cabin for a while, and everyone thinks he must be a son of hypnos due to his tendency to fall asleep at random. it's very surprising when he gets claimed by morpheus, the god of dreams, instead.

and for pjo characters in NRC dorms... i wish we had a bit more canon info on what gets a person sorted into a particular dorm haha! let's see, though. my favorite characters in the original PJO books are nico and annabeth and my favorite of those introduced in HOO is leo, so i'll sort them! i know annabeth couldn't go there in canon but let's ignore that.

nico: obvious answer is that he'd end up in ignihyde, but another idea i had is what if he moved into ramshackle? i can see him feeling like he doesn't really fit in at ignihyde because of its focus on technology, and promising to keep the ramshackle ghosts in line if he's allowed to transfer.

annabeth: i think she'd be in scarabia! scarabia students are all about careful planning and strategy and are noted to generally be very resourceful and cunning, and all of that just fits her perfectly. i think it also fits because percy would definitely get put in octavinelle, and iirc scarabia and octavinelle are supposed to have a bit of a rivalry.

leo: i agree with you about ignihyde for him!! leo is someone who seems super energetic and outgoing but who actively seeks out quiet and personal space and literally gets along better with machines than with people, so i think he'd fit right in. if you do draw that then i'd absolutely love to see it.

[spencersawkward]

not to go full fluff central but omg can you write a one shot about matthew hanging out with his kids?? i see him as a girl dad and he would 100% play dress up with them and they would be wrapped around his finger and itd be so sweet it could cause cavities lmao i just want that man to have children so bad

ugh yes i want him to have kids so bad and YES he 100% is a girl dad i definitely agree. this was super interesting to write tbh bc i did it from his perspective but i'm glad i did and i'm glad you asked for it bc we love a saccharine one-shot! also i'm so bad at names for characters i'm sorry lol.

summary: Matthew has a day off with his two daughters!

content warnings: none! literally just fluffy fluff with a side of fluff.

word count: 2.1k

masterlist

when Matthew wakes up to the press of a crayon on his forearm, he nearly startles. his head jerks up to see his daughter, Juniper, trying to draw on him. her hair is neatly braided and the other side of the bed is empty, indicating that his wife has already gotten up.

"good morning, sweetpea." he says to Juniper with a tired smile, wincing when she tries in vain to draw on him. wax on skin doesn't work that way.

"it isn't working, Dad." she pouts. she throws the purple crayon onto the bed and stares at him. she's got dark lashes framing huge, beautiful eyes, and a gap between her front teeth. she pried out the baby tooth a week ago-- seven years old and already determined to take it out herself-- and has been showing it around the house like a trophy.

"maybe we can try with markers after I get up." he suggests. she peers at him with an impatient expression.

"fine." although the word is venomous, she crawls up the bed until she's tucked beneath his arm and he kisses the top of her head. Matthew smiles to himself as he holds her, happy to have the whole day to spend with his kids. he hasn't had a day off in forever.

"should we make breakfast for you and your sister?" he asks cheerfully.

"yes!" she leaps up to stand on the bed, jumps around a little bit on the cushy mattress. "come on!"

"okay, okay," he chuckles, throwing off the covers. "let me brush my teeth first, sweetheart."

"I'm coming with." Juniper is insistent as she follows him. he takes out his toothbrush and toothpaste while she paws through her mother's makeup drawers and skincare. she grabs a bottle of perfume and examines it carefully. "what is this?"

"let's be careful with that." Matthew turns from the mirror, where he can see the rat's nest of hair on his head while he brushes his teeth, and gently puts the glass bottle back on the counter. Juniper crosses her arms.

"what is it?" she repeats. her father finishes up, then lifts her into his arms like she's a sack of potatoes.

"it's your mom's favorite smell." he clarifies. after kissing her little cheek, he walks into the kitchen with Juniper's arms wrapped around his neck. she clings to him like he is everything in the world, and he realizes that this is one of his favorite parts of the day. whenever he holds his daughters, he feels the kind of joy that simply can't be replicated. his heart overflows for them.  

"morning, sleepyhead." Y/N looks up from the counter, where she's biting into a piece of toast and talking excitedly to their other child, Autumn. Matthew grins at the sight of her, so beautiful when she's laughing with her daughter.

"morning." he's smitten.

"I have to go in a minute, but I figured you'd be able to handle a day with them?" she comes over to him and kisses his lips, saying the last part softly. Juniper leans her head on her father's chest, staring at her mother with those enormous eyes.

"with these two devils?" Matthew nods to the girls. "of course."

Y/N shakes her head with a laugh and gives each of her daughter's foreheads before grabbing her purse.

"bye, Mama!" Juniper and Autumn say in unison.

"bye, my angels. I love you very much." she smiles warmly, ruffling Autumn's silky curls before touching Matthew's arm tenderly and heading out of the kitchen. he watches her go, waits for the sound of the lock clicking into place, before he looks conspiratorially between the remaining household.

"who wants pancakes?" he smirks. their ensuing squeals are affirmation enough.  

...

"Dad, can I show you my ballet tutu?" Autumn surprises Matthew by grabbing onto his leg while he's making pancakes. Juniper is standing on a stool beside him, watching and helping to flip the flapjacks.

"nobody wants to see that, Autumn." Juniper scowls impatiently at her younger sister. Matthew turns to his little one and smiles.

"I would love to see your new tutu, sweetheart." he says. Autumn gives the other girl a triumphant look before running off to her room. when Matthew looks at Juniper, she blushes. "be nicer to your sister, Juni." he says gently.

the little scolded creature crosses her arms over her chest and turns her gaze to the pancakes. she knows she's not supposed to be mean, but sometimes Autumn is just so annoying. Matthew can't even pretend to stay mad for long, however, and offers the spatula to her.

"do you wanna flip it?" he smiles.

"yep!" Juniper quickly slides the utensil under the pancake, her father's hand guiding hers to make sure she doesn't accidentally burn herself. she's a smart girl, but she's inherited his lack of coordination (and his nose). they giggle together at the sound of the batter slapping the pan.

"dad, look!" Autumn tugs on the leg of his pants and he glances down to see her wearing a bright pink tutu over her leggings. his jaw drops open in wonderment, tinged with a smile.

"oh my goodness!" he gasps, hoisting her into his arms and burying his face in her curls. "you look just like a princess!"

she giggles. Matthew turns off the stove for a moment to spin her around in his arms before setting her down again and crouching to look at her. "can we see your dance routine after breakfast?"

Autumn nods shyly. he holds her tiny hand in his and kisses the back of it before standing back up. Juniper waits for him on her stool. they get back to cooking, both girls chatting about anything and everything while their father listens intently.

once they set the plates out on the table, Juniper volunteers to distribute forks and knives, and soon they've got a whole spread of golden brown pancakes, whipped cream, and fruit. they heap their dishes with food. the girls have a tendency to take more than they can actually eat, but that's okay. he loves the look of excitement in their eyes when they drizzle syrup over everything.

"nice job, kiddos." he nods, impressed, like they've made the whole meal themselves. both siblings grin back at him proudly. "let's dig in!"

he's hungry. Matthew cracks a couple jokes while they eat, pokes Autumn's stomach when she gets full halfway through her third pancake, and then both he and Juniper watch her do her ballet routine for them. she spins, twirls, smiles as she finishes the dance by throwing both arms into the air like she's won an Olympic gold medal. in his eyes, she has.

even Juniper is supportive and claps with a smile at her sister's achievement. although she teases and can be a bit too harsh with her younger sibling at times, the truth is that she's proud of her. it's evident in the way they play together in the summer, running around beneath the sun while Matthew and his wife sip on glasses of iced tea.  

"brava!" he cheers when she skips back to her seat at the table. "a royal performance!"

"dad, can we have more whipped cream?" Juniper eyes the canister on the table with hungry eyes. he mulls this over for a second, enamored with the fact that she is so clearly his daughter. down to her features and mannerisms, her tendency to crawl onto the couch and watch the scary movies with him that she probably shouldn't be watching at her age. Autumn looks more like her mother, sweet and optimistic. a dreamy expression on her face.

he grabs the canister from the middle of the spread and pops the cap off the top.

"only if you don't tell your mother." he laughs. Juniper shakes her head vehemently like a half promise and opens her mouth as he puts a pile of whipped cream in it. he does it to Autumn next, then himself. they lean back in their chairs, rubbing their bellies with satisfaction.

"yummy." Juniper grins.

"whipped cream is the best topping in the world," Matthew says matter-of-factly, passing down a pearl of knowledge that will stay with them forever. "don't ever let anyone tell you different."

the three of them clean the dishes together, blowing suds all over the room while they listen to Sam Cooke and dance. the house rings with their laughter and the sounds of feet hitting the ground in rhythmic elation, the kitchen their personal concert hall.

if he could only bestow a few life lessons on them, one of them would be the importance of listening to old music.

Matthew wishes that he could spend all his days with them, making breakfast and hearing their crazy ideas. the world is so full and open to them, he sometimes finds himself thinking about how they're going to conquer it. they've got a grittiness to them that they could only get from their mother-- an absolute sureness that stiffens their little spines-- and an imagination that could fill books with stories. he wants to paint for them, do everything for them.

but for today, they head to Autumn's room and play dress-up with the enormous chest of costumes by her bed. should he work on not spoiling her so much? maybe. he doesn't care. she's absolutely adorable when she hauls out princess dresses, doctors' jackets and stethoscopes, other disguises. he thinks she's going to be an actress; she loves to take on different jobs and throw herself into them, walking around the house ordering that her next patient be brought in or for someone to prepare her microscope. her mind is full of ideas.

Juniper pretends to be disinterested in dressing up, but she gives up the act once Autumn hands her a tiara to wear and pours her imaginary tea.

"what flavor is this?" Matthew takes a sip from his miniature cup, fanning his mouth like it's hot. "it's divine."

"it's normal tea, you cuckoo bird." Autumn giggles. she sets the teapot down on the plastic table.

"I'm a cuckoo bird?" he pretends to be offended. "you're a cuckoo bird!"

"no I'm not!" Autumn protests, but Matthew is already wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into his lap. he tickles her sides.

"you're the cuckoo bird!" he repeats through her fits of laughter. she squeals and kicks with joy until he sets her back on her feet.

"your hair is crazy." Juniper scolds. Matthew sighs and runs a hand through the unruly curls. they always tease him about it, and somehow it never gets old.

"probably because this one messed it up with her claws." he pokes Autumn's side and he suppresses a gleeful smile.

"Dad, you need a tiara, too." Juniper points to the empty spot on his head. "Autumn, get him one."

the younger sister looks like she's going to defy her sister's bossy demand, but decides against it and runs off to grab another bejeweled piece to place on her father's head. it's comical, the way the tiny thing sits.

"thank you, sweetpea." he smiles at his youngest, pinching her cheek before glancing between the two of them seriously. "how do I look?"

"silly." Juniper giggles. she straightens it out on his head and he wrinkles his nose.

"hey! boys can wear tiaras, too," he defends with mock attitude. "now, can I have more tea, please? I finished mine already."

"of course." Autumn stands diplomatically and pours him a new cup while they pretend to snack on baked goods. Matthew tells them about the new movie he's directing, dipping into his storyteller voice and wiggling his fingers with every mention of a spooky plot point. the girls sit at rapt attention, hanging on his every word, despite the fact that he's got a miniature tiara on his head.

they adore him, and every second he's there, they revel in it. they love their mother, too, of course. but days with their dad are just... different. he lets them eat whipped cream by themselves and tells them stories, kisses their foreheads and dances in the kitchen with them. they always have fun together, no matter how dreary the day is. and those feelings won't change as they get older; he's their rock, their security. he always will be.

[bigskydreaming]

Hello, hello, tis I, your friendly neighborhood ‘dude who is obsessed with people making jokes and insults out of Dick’s name’ back with another episode of Why No But Seriously Why!

In today’s episode, we’re going to focus on the fanon of the swear jar. That thing ordained by Alfred that makes many an appearance in fics and headcanons....including ones that also show Jason and/or others calling Dick a Dickhead and other things all willy nilly and suchlike and forthwith.

How does this track, asketh I? Does Alfred provide exemption clauses for making fun of your brother, to the others? Does Alfred not consider making crude insults out of the name Dick to be a swear? Does Alfred, a born Brit, hailing from the land of the “We’ve Been Calling Richards ‘Dicks’ For Longer Than The Rest Of You Have Been Calling Them Rich’s,” not consider the fascination with making penis jokes out of the name of a child he’s helped raised from the age of EIGHT to be uncultured, crass and frankly unacceptable in any house he resides in?

I’m just saying, does it really make sense, and is the risk of pulling readers out of your story if they’re NOT amused by the jokes made of his name really worth whatever it is you feel is added to a story BY making the same old jokes about Dick’s name?

As I’ve said many times before....Dick Grayson? Fictional character. Has no feelings that actually need protecting....OUTSIDE of fiction. Making jokes about his name from beyond the fourth wall, just people commenting on a fictional character’s name? Go wild, go crazy, have a freaking Bacchanalia. Truly does not matter, if you ask me.

But IN universe? IN fiction? Totally different story, because look what those jokes require or make assumptions out of:

1) That Dick truly has no protective or defensive feelings whatsoever about his childhood nickname, and genuinely feels nothing about people habitually taking his choice to keep it as an invitation to insult or mock him.

1b) That Dick doesn’t in any way ever perceive peoples’ insistence on associating his name MORE with the insults and penis jokes than they do with it just being a name, to in any way be a slight against his beloved parents, of the “well they should have known better than to call him that” variety.

1c) That Dick has no negative feelings whatsoever about the fact that even his close friends and family regard his name as being no more worthy of respect or being ‘offlimits’ than the average Gothammite or public citizen might regard it, despite the fact that his close friends and family are perfectly aware of the public’s history of looking down on Dick for his origins and thus you’d think would WANT to appear different than them in Dick’s eyes.

1d) That Dick has never at any point expressed anger, frustration or bitterness that he can’t even have his name respected without even loved ones superimposing their own associations on top of it, no matter what it means to HIM.

2) That Alfred truly has no opinions whatsoever of the other charges in his care disrespecting Dick’s name and its origins stemming from his first parents.

2b) That Alfred has never expressed this opinion to any of them or made his displeasure about such jokes known.

2c) That Alfred doesn’t find it disappointing that the rest of the family and associated friends and allies seem disinclined to separate themselves from the general public’s opinions of Dick’s name by regarding it with a little more respect as at least a sign that they regard Dick himself with a little more respect than the general public.

3) That Jason or none of Dick’s other friends or family have never taken the initiative to wonder for themselves how Dick might actually feel about the frequent jokes or insults, and if shockingly, he might not actually be fond of them.

3b) That Jason or Dick’s other friends or family have chosen not to care or respect the opinions of Dick and/or Alfred or anyone else who states or suggests that these jokes or insults aren’t welcome.

4) That none of Dick’s other friends, be they Titans, or Uncle Clark, or siblings like Cass or Damian or frankly anyone, ever speak up in defense of Dick’s name and suggest that there’s a significant lack of respect around it and thus around him, that they personally take a very dim view of. (Even when Jason’s best friends include Dick’s former fianceé and own longtime BFF).

5) That nobody has ever bothered to think that only EVER being addressed by some form of insult by even his own siblings might possibly have a slightly demoralizing effect on someone’s self-esteem over time.

5b) That nobody has ever bothered to think that making sexual jokes about his name and thus innately sexualizing Dick from even his earliest days in Gotham, when coupled with the hyper-sexualized stereotypes people often apply to Romani individuals and further coupled with the suggestive rumors surrounding Bruce’s reasons for taking in a young boy, might possibly have contributed over time to Dick having an extremely skewed view of himself as an innately sexualized being no matter what he actually did in terms of sexual behavior.

I mean.....there’s more. If I felt like it.

But the point is......there’s a LOT of implicit assumptions that creep in alongside the seemingly harmless jokes and insults surrounding Dick’s name, the second you start to really focus in on how it might appear from his POV....IF you include even just the possibility that he DOESN’T like it.

EDIT: Also, lots of people have pointed out that its just sibling culture to make fun of a sibling in ways that you wouldn’t be okay with someone outside the family making the same jokes. And this is absolutely true! BUT. My issue here and why I don’t think the Dickhead jokes fall under this umbrella, is because I can say in my experience being from a blended family, and from what I’ve discussed in the past with other kids from blended families....there are ‘rules’ about this sort of thing, when you have adopted siblings, and the one near-universal truth that I’ve always found is that anything that stems from an adopted sibling’s first family, the one you do NOT share with them, is absolutely off limits. You mock them for something that originated outside your family, you’re the asshole, because at that point, you’re literally no different from outsiders to your current family making fun of that sibling. That ‘joke’ is not YOURS to make or share in, if you do not have the history with the thing you’re basing the joke on, that your sibling has with it. Shared history is the entire basis of siblings being able to mock each other while still citing solidarity against outsiders, and in adopted families, there absolutely are elements of each others’ lives that YOU are the outsider to, and it absolutely falls on you to respect that just as you’d want your sibling to respect the same of you in turn. If Jason absolutely would not be okay with Dick or anyone else making jokes about Catherine or his life with her, he should not be okay with making jokes about Dick’s name, circus origins, or other aspects of his life that stem from or call back to his time with his first family. The same holds true of all the others as well.

The other aspect of this name-calling not falling under the excuse-umbrella of just being typical sibling culture is its entirely one-sided. Show me the tendency where Dick responds to these everpresent jokes or insults by even light-heartedly calling Jason and the others insults like Hey Asshole, or Dumbass or anything like that. When things are entirely one-way, the impression given is not that of a camaraderie of back-and-forth. It becomes just one person or multiple people punching down in a way they feel confident from experience the other person will NOT respond in kind, which gives them an outlet for venting frustration, resentment or aggravation which risks them nothing, because they KNOW Dick won’t retaliate, and at that point that exchange becomes something very different from a general sibling back-and-forth....because there’s no ‘back.’ What you end up with at that point is literally just hostility, no matter if more mild than other cases, and a situation where one sibling is simply taking ADVANTAGE of the opportunity afforded by another sibling’s good nature and refusal to engage in hurt feelings even while you feel free to cause those feelings in them. And that’s just not a good look. Its just not. And even if you find those exchanges humorous yourself as a writer or a reader, you might want to keep in mind that to plenty of other readers, its making even the characters you like and INTEND to be liked, just....come across as kinda not cool assholes instead.

END OF EDIT.

And here’s the other point:

Its not really about his name, and never has been.

His name is simply emblematic of how EASY it is for people to fall into the trap of just....choosing to overlook Dick’s POV entirely, the second its pitted against other characters and what they might gain from their POV....even if that ‘gain’ is as simple and basic as the slight moment of humor Jason gets from making a joke or mocking insult out of Dick’s name.

Here, let me present this another way:

Every single person alive has SOMETHING they get defensive or protective about. SOMETHING that they’re like no, this is offlimits to people, this is not for their consumption, their entertainment, its not for THEM to take and twist into something other than what it is for ME, because its MINE. This is basic human nature. EVERYONE has this feeling about SOMETHING that’s particular to them.

And with Dick, most of the things that we’re generally given to view him being protective or defensive about are either almost more about other people than him - such as being protective of his family members - or else, they’re things that he’s not ALLOWED to be purely defensive or say, territorial about.

Like for instance, the name Robin.

Think about how Robin is pretty much one of the ONLY things Dick is largely deemed to be defensive or proprietary about.....BUT how that’s also largely used NOT to have him wholly in the right for feeling that way.....but to put him in conflict with the other Robins, given that they also have strong feelings about the name regardless of its origins, and its not solely Dick’s anymore.

Now here’s my question:

If for example, you go with the take that Robin was Dick’s mother’s name for him, and that’s why Dick is so protective and defensive of that name.....why would he be any LESS protective or defensive about his mother AND father’s OTHER name for him....given that the only possible reason for him TO stick with the name Dick all throughout adulthood, is that its the form of his name they referred to him by, and thus, clearly, it DOES carry emotional significance for him?

See what I’m saying?

Why is it, that the only time so many people see Dick laying a claim to something, being defensive or protective of something that’s HIS, standing up for HIMSELF.....is when the waters are murky, when its not a clear cut case of him being wholly in the right, when it pits Dick against someone else and says both are at least somewhat valid?

Why is it so RARE to see people imagine Dick putting his foot down in defense of himself, in defense of something that’s HIS.....where its 100% crystal clear that he has every right and reason in the world to feel this way, where there’s no doubt whatsoever that he’s on the correct side of thinking “this is mine and I get to say this”?

Even about something as simple and basic as his own name?

And why is it the only time we seem to see people sticking up for Dick or weighing in on his behalf, its in the case of extreme actions like him having been raped or abused? Why are there hardly any stories of people looking at alleged family and friends bitching about Dick or heaping insults on him or his capabilities and saying hey, he’s been doing this while most of us were sitting in middle school detention, you could show him some respect? Why do none of the people who value and respect Dick so highly ever seem to weigh in like THAT in stories?

My challenge, should you choose to accept it, is just to look at the above list of possible reasons why Dick might not be thrilled about how people use his name....and just IMAGINE what it would look like, if Dick just said to another character....”Hey. Could you cut that out. I would appreciate it if you didn’t do that.” Even just “I really don’t like that.”

How does a scene like that go? One where Dick is wholly and completely justified in putting his foot down, in feeling that someone is overstepping or paying him an insult or a disservice?

We hear all the time in fandom about how in the name of ‘humanizing’ Dick and ‘making him more relatable’ some people focus overly much on emphasizing his flaws, his alleged temper, his secretiveness, etc.

I’d like to argue that flaws are not actually the only staple of humanity. Risking making a character more dislikable is not actually the only way to make them feel more human or relatable. THIS is another way to do that. Make them defensive, proprietary, territorial, even prickly.....but with REASON. With CAUSE. With JUSTIFICATION. Because people are ALLOWED to be, when people are being a - all irony intended - total dick to them.

And there is a long, LONG history in fanfics, of people being exactly that to Dick, and him just....smiling.

EXCEPT for when his choice NOT to smile, and to actually take offense and push back......pits him against another character but with the other character usually being granted just as much right and reason to not give way.

So? I’m saying you have right here a perfect example of how to flip the script on that. To make it abundantly clear that Dick has just as much right to put his foot down with even people who love and care about him and say hey, you’re doing something I don’t like, that in fact even hurts me, and I want you to stop.

Why not use it? Why does there always seem to need to be an ARGUMENT about whether or not Dick is in the right to feel wronged in some way.....when its so abundantly clear that he’s given no shortage of reasons for that in practically every other fic?

And consider.....if you’ve never previously entertained the idea that Dick might take offense to how people treat his name, or feel defensive about it......what else might you be overlooking that he could feel that way about, and is there any reason why you think you tend not to view Dick as being defensive of HIMSELF and things that are uniquely his?

*Shrugs* Just food for thought, mayhaps.

[pynkhues]

I got so excited seeing you post about Succession, I am absolutely obsessed with everything about that show from the writing, to the performances, to Kendall fucking Roy. Would love to hear any of your takes or analysis on the Roy siblings.

Oh my gosh, me too, anon. I'd been watching the eps a few at a time and when I got halfway through s2, I started watching them one at a time just because I didn't want it to end! It's been a crazy long time since I've done that, and it was such an invigorating feeling to enjoy a show that much to want to draw it out again. I finished s2 a few days ago and am halfway through a rewatch already, haha, and I am SO. HYPED. for s3.

It's so well written and like you said, the performances are top-notch (Jeremy Strong ridiculously deserved his Emmy last year, oh my god), and just the pay off with plotlines and character arcs is unreal, even if that pay off often hurts. I think it does such a great job of showing how filthy rich they are too, but making no part of their life aspirational? Which is a hard line to walk. They're all so miserable and traumatised and disconnected and lonely and they're destined to stay that way because they have no emotional tools to do or be otherwise. It hurts, but it's so frequently what they deserve too, and that gets so tangled up and twisted. I love it.

And man, the Roy kids!! Putting some broadstrokes analysis / opinions under the cut, because omg, I feel like I'll be talking for 1,200 years otherwise, haha.

Connor Roy

Legit obsessed tbh. When I was growing up, my mum was a huge Spin City fan, so she used to park me and my sister on the floor in front of it with toys while she watched, and as a result I think I have this really warm response to Alan Ruck, haha. He's fantastic in this, and lends the right amount of vulnerability to Connor.

I love that there's this push-pull with him as kind of an outsider, but also not? Like he's there at the table, to borrow the phrase from Tom, but there's very much this feeling that it's a courtesy or formality to Logan's previous family (and god, I'm dying to know more about his mum / Logan's first wife), but that doesn't stop this deep rooted need that Connor shares with his siblings for their father's validation.

I think a lot about what Connor says to Kendall in the s1 finale about how anyone can have a million dollars, but right now, with Logan's empire, they're somebody. It's this sort of tangled disconnect from reality (anyone can have a million dollars??) but also his desire to be seen broadly, but more specifically seen as Logan's son, that I feel really grounds Connor's arc, and I feel like he's just going to get louder and louder about it, especially with his presidential run getting closer.

Kendall Roy

Okay, okay, okay, I know that he's an absolute nightmare and a terrible human, but oh my goooooddddd, I love him as a character. I saw it in somebody's tags on a gifset, but I love this set-up where Logan keeps Kendall on the shortest leash, but it's a leash all of his siblings, despite themselves, want to be on. That's awful, but so indicative of the toxic way that Logan's raised his children.

There's also a great quote from Jeremy Strong somewhere, and I can't find it now, but to paraphrase, he said that the whole family is raised on this idea of strength and power, and Kendall's sort of a case study in strength not being his native language. It's so true, and I think Kendall's smart and resourceful and quick on his feet, but he's also so often desperately trying to wear a costume of who he thinks he should be.

I don't think he's weak (in fact, I think he's really resiliant), but he's definitely a fragile character and an addict, who nakedly needs nurturing that no one is willing to give him, least of all his mother (which, god, that scene when he tries to talk to her in the UK destroyed me) so instead he pretends to mould himself into the perceived image of his father and fails every time.

It's brutal to watch, especially when you see other characters know that and use it to manipulate him. Hell, his own father pretends to nurture and protect him (and I think kind of genuinely does too? But it's so warped?) the whole of s2, and it brings Kendall closer than ever before. It's painful, and affecting, and it's just this manifestation of trauma in a hopeless, cringe-inducing package, haha.

Roman Roy

Another nightmare baby I tragically love, hahaha. I actually think Roman's had one of the most interesting arcs on the show and one of the few that seems to be positive? Like his tendency to not take anything seriously so that he never truly fails was pretty fun in the first season, but to see that evolve into someone who's green but has great gut instincts, and is good when he lets himself be and when he lets himself try, is really invigorating narratively, especially as the other characters all slip further down morally and/or stagnate.

I'm loving the way that it's sort of cannibalising itself though too with him and Geri's relationship suddenly, um, pivoting, hahaha, and especially the way she's honed in on him getting off on being demeaned. There's something really fun about the one character clawing his way up masturbating to being told exactly how low he is.

Plus Kieran Culkin is a gem.

Shiv Roy

Sarah!! Snook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've had a huge crush on her since Not Suitable for Children so was already totally delighted to see her in this, but oh my god, she's so good, and Shiv is so awful in so many wonderful ways. I love that she's kind of like Kendall in the way she pendulums between extreme competence and the most mortifying self-sabotage, and the way she's a very specific sort of insecure. Logan never asked her, y'know? Not really, and the way she knows she's his favourite, but knows that being his favourite without the validation of succession doesn't mean anything.

In a lot of ways, she encapsulates the show's themes and Logan's abuse in the best way, because she has what her brothers want. Her father loves her more openly than he does any of them, but that love isn't enough, because Logan's made sure it never will be. It's not a true love after all, because Logan loves them, but he loves none of them more than himself and his legacy, and being given the latter is what they've all been convinced will make them happy when it never will.

Nothing will.

It's just so good and so painful, and I'm in love with it all.

[amjustagirl]

Nikki. Hon.

Boy do I have some thoughts about Storm Chaser 😩

Atsumu, Atsumu...I want to first start off by saying that you characterized him <i>beautifully</i> . Atsumu is one of those characters that I actually love reading about the most, because in addition to all of his wonderful traits and his relationship with his brother (honestly I could read banter back and forth between those to for days), his flaws are on full display, usually wrapped up in his virtues. His single minded determination? Sometimes at the expense of his loved ones. His stubbornness? Can turn to bull-headedness and he has a tendency to blindly think he's right. His passion? It's all or nothing with him, and getting the short end of the stick can hurt irreparably.

Okay and this might be a controversial opinion? This is exactly how I'd imagine a relationship with Atsumu might go. He's not always the most tactful and says what's on his mind, and sometimes that can be something you don't want to hear. And he can be spiteful, too - directing his frustrations with himself at those around him is a nasty habit he has that I think not a lot of FF writers touch on. When he left his ring behind on purpose in a place Kaiyo would see it, that actually hurt my heart.

That's why I think Osamu is such an integral part of his life, and even though he'd probably rather eat a spoonful of salt, I think Atsumu subconsciously turns to his brother for his troubles because Osamu's been setting him straight for most of his life. And <i>huge</i> praise to Osamu for being, IMO, the primary reason why their marriage was salvageable in the first place, and also for just being an amazing boss, brother (to Atsumu), brother-in-law (to Kaiyo), and uncle (to little Shino).

And last but not least, Kaiyo. I love her personality and think she's most a good fit for a partner to Tsumu. She has a good head on her shoulders, she's kind but not a pushover, and while initially I was against the idea of taking Atsumu back after he decided to ditch his responsibilities, I'm happy the got back together. And something else I did, this might seem extra but bear with me, but I actually went back to Chapter 6, hit CTRL+F and looked for the word 'sorry' and not once did it come up. Throughout his entire run for working to gain her forgiveness, Atsumu hadn't actually apologized to Kaiyo like Osamu said, but when he finally did in Chapter Seven and she gave him another chance, I liked it a lot. The healing process started once he finally swallowed his pride and apologized, and even then it took time - apologizing to her, her family, his brother for heaping his responsibilities on him. I liked that, and I liked that it wasn't instant either.

And then in the stands, when she miscarried 😢 My heart broke into so many pieces. And despite the circumstances, I'm so happy Atsumu was there for her. And the rest of the MSBY team as well, being there for both of them. Shoyo, my little ball of sunshine, made me smile when he offered her his mother's number if she needed to talk to someone about it, how sweet of him!

This one was absolutely aptly named, and it was a whirlwind of emotions I wasn't quite prepared for on a Saturday 😂 But I loved every moment of it! Thank you so much! 🤗💖🤗💖

<s>PS this all confirms why Osamu is my favorite of the two akdkakdnelqjsn</s>

oh darling lemme give you a hug ahhh <3

i knew atsumu wld be an amazing character to write cos as you pointed out, he's so flawed yet lovable. the dark side of his passion for volleyball is that he's more likely that not, going to resent anything and anyone that gets in the way of his ambition, and that's when his spiteful side really peeks out. it's not pretty, he's not a romantic hero but a flawed human being. i cried when i wrote the scene where he leaves his wedding ring right by the door, so kaiyo's reminded every day that he walked out on her and shino and the fact that she kept the ring clean, kept it exactly where he left it despite clearing all other signs of him from their apartment hurts my heart.

and that's where osamu steps in. he's really the silent support behind both atsumu and kaiyo and really, he deserves all the love cos that poor man just shouldered the burdens that atsumu left behind. but in a sense osamu's goodness just...kind of makes atsumu insecure. i weaved a little bit of that in the fic - when atsumu gets jealous of the relationship btw osamu and kaiyo, when he just assumed that he's the bad twin and doesn't have a conscience. i find their sibling relationship really...complicated yet loving and it was just such a blast to write.

kaiyo, my queen. when i was coming up with her personality i knew for a fact that atsumu could NOT be paired with a pushover, and my sense is that he'd be drawn by someone with strength of personality (look at how he's drawn to shoyo!) and in any case kaiyo had to have this ironclad will to survive atsumu's bullshit.

and yeah i definitely had a lot of readers discuss whether or not she should've ended up back with atsumu. i think...yeah the story at the end of the day is about...marriage that takes time to settle, about family and forgiveness and relationships that crumble, that can be rebuilt. and yknow i love that you combed through chapter 6 for an apology from atsumu because the omission of a simple 'sorry' from him was intention on my part. leading up to chapter 7, atsumu was being utterly selfish in his desire to get back together with kaiyo. he couldn't fathom that he should put her needs and desires ahead of his, and so he couldn't give her a proper apology until after the talk with osamu where his twin sets his head straight and reminds him to not be selfish for once in his life. and so when kaiyo takes him back, it's not because he bought her a motorbike (i mean, that in itself is significant in symbolising his desire to return her independence and autonomy back to her, which she lost after marriage and parenthood) but because he demonstrated that he's truly sorry and has learnt the error of his ways by taking her needs and wants into account.

oops the miscarriage. i wasn't sure if it was too melodramatic but i wanted to show how he'd changed as a husband, and in any case - miscarriages aren't uncommon so i rly wanted to write a...hopefully realistic account of it. and aahhhhh yes hinata is really a ball of sunshiney goodness <3

HAHAHA and yes hence the title storm chaser - for (1) the whirlwind of emotions i put my readers through, (2) the comparison of atsumu to a storm (cos he's volatile and destructive to those around him) and (3) kaiyo for being crazy enough to chase after the storm that is miya atsumu. i probably overthought this HAHA.

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Ouran High HCs

For the fifteenth birthday of one of my favorite romantic comedies, and the day that I started watching said romantic comedy with my boyfriend who is relatively new to anime it got me thinking about these characters and how wonderfully diverse their personalities are. The show has 100% chaotic energy and I love it so much. I wanted to look at every major character in the host club (Haruhi, Tamaki, Kyoya, Hikaru, my favorite twin Kaoru, Honey-senpai, and of course Mori-senpai.) using all their personalities and make some head-canons for favorite group of crazies!

Haruhi:

- She/they icon, we stan

- Always preferred to wear more masculine clothes growing up, they were less expensive than the feminine ones. Plus she felt more comfortable in a pair of shorts as opposed to a dress.

- A very active child, she was always running around her neighborhood, going to the park and doing things with her dad.

- Her dad taught her everything that she needed to know about makeup once she became a member of the host club.

- She worked a part time job in order to help her dad pay the bills and to get food money.

- She thought that she was arosexual before joining the host club. Despite the confessions that she got in junior high they either went entirely over her head or she told them that she was too focused on her studies for romance at that time. Of course all that changed when she met our favorite blonde haired himbo goofball.

- She did wind up taking the conversational French with the twins and often times they'll slip into it for practice. Of course, Tamaki always understands when they talk shit about him so they just do it to mess with him.

Tamaki (my favorite):

- Bisexual king, honestly I love that for him out here living his best life.

- He didn't have much of a childhood between constantly needing to be there for his mom and make sure that she was healthy and okay. It's why he made the host club in the first place to live out his childhood that he was robbed of.

- Is actually way smarter academically than most people might think. If you were to look at the class grades he's always right behind Kyoya. He dedicates a lot of his free time to studying. He's not inherently stupid, just naive.

- His mom was the one that got him into cosplay by introducing him to the various kinds of fabrics. It stemmed into a personal interest that he could lose himself in and distract himself from the loneliness.

- He practiced flirting on Kyoya back in middle school for the future host club once he had his heart set on it.

Kyoya:

- In the words of the great immortal J Michael Tatum "Kyoya is probably gay". It was something that didn't even occur to me until I watched him do an Ouran panel and then I was like holy shit the king makes a good point.

- While Tamaki was his gay crisis, he quickly realized that he would spend forever pining after him and eventually shelved his feelings. Tamaki was his best friend and that was more important to him than his feelings.

- Kyoya has always been a really keen observer of people's true intentions. He's excellent at reading people and knowing what they want from him. The only people he has never been able to read perfectly are Tamaki, Kaoru, and Haruhi.

- He originally didn't want to be a doctor but he eventually wanted to prove himself so badly that he told his father that he would surpass his expectations no matter how high they were.

- Doing background checks on people is fascinating to him. It's not just for blackmail purposes but he likes learning people's weaknesses. He's also an excellent chess player.

Hikaru:

- The definitive over protective sibling. Anybody hurts Kaoru they will wish that they were dead. Kaoru is the most important person in his life and he would do anything to protect him.

- His tsundere tendencies come from a place of wanting to protect those he loves not out of anger.

- While he is begrudgingly worse at letting in other people once you fight your way through his walls he's actually a really amazing friend and s/o.

- His love of the fashion industry stems more from the model side of things than anything else. He can't design anything of his own to save his life.

- He never cared about any girls in his life before Haruhi came into his. Even though he didn't know how to deal with his feelings she was the first person who ever really showed that she cared about him.

Kaoru (my preferred Hitachiin sib):

- One big gay disaster that is absolutely crushing on Kyoya (I just learned about this ship today and it has stolen my life juice.) To blush when he's working with Hikaru to please the ladies all he has to do is think of Kyoya in his brother's spot.

- Is the far superior designer that can actually make really beautiful clothes. Most of the costumes that are worn by the club are designed by Kaoru.

- His hair is a lot softer than Hikaru's even though it's the same style, hair product and everything. I think that his would be more poofy and Hikaru's more spikey.

- Kaoru has always felt like he had to work harder to be like his brother that when you spend time with him alone at first it will be almost like you're talking to a replica of Hikaru and not a separate entity. At first it's a little bit awkward but once you get him out of his shell you find what a sweet and amazing person he is.

- Kaoru is an incredible skateboarder. He loves the feeling that he gets from the wind in his hair and designed his own skateboard. A lot of his hobbies outside of the club are athletic related causing him to have a more defined body than his brother since Hikaru is basically a cat.

Honey-senpai: - If this boi could make cakes and pastries for a living without the threat of eating them all he would make the best sweets. He knows when something is just the right amount of sweet and when something is too sweet.

- He learned martial arts to be stronger because he knew that people would try to take advantage of him due to his childlike nature.

- Honey had a fight with his grandmother before she passed away over something completely selfish. That is why he is so attached to Usa-chan.

- Him and Mori were always really close, even as children and understand each other better than anybody.

- His constant animosity between him and his younger brother is because he feels like he is constantly being babied due to his personality.

Mori-senpai:

- Mori has autism. He is also selectively mute. I'm sorry I don't make the rules, the show itself gives them to me.

- Looks like a tough guy but in actuality would give the best hugs. I want a Mori hug. Haruhi probably gets the most Mori hugs because he is immensely protective over her.

- Aro-ace baby but gives the best platonic cuddles to any of the club members that are having parental issues.

- While he prefers spicy over sweet he does have a sweet tooth at random times of the day. Has been sighted at a local Cold Stone five minutes before closing in the dead of winter, while it's snowing outside by Kaoru and Kyoya while they were trying to find a place to get warm while out on a date.

- He actually didn't start his athletic endeavors with kendo, he started with ballet and gymnastics when he was really young.

And that's all my head-canons for the day! Happy anniversary to my favorite ridiculous throw everything against the wall and see what sticks to it romantic comedy. I hope that one day we will either get a season two or at this point it would be better to just do a hard reboot. Hoping that one day we will see our boys animated in high definition, even though I feel like an HD Tamaki would definitely kill me.

[ranmanjuu]

—gen z mc with uesugi-takeda + misc. forces

ahh, i’m so glad people liked my gen z oda hcs! lol it’s usually pretty slow from my writing blog experiences until now, but i’m rlly happy! i was planning to do u-t and the others but then i decided to stop at oda and continue another day. thx for the asks tho! and yeah, i do take requests but it’s more of a pasttime, since this whole blog is just my stupid ideas written out and shared out there.

also someone said that a gen z mc could be old enough to romance the warlords, like, early twenties. and yes, very fair if u wanna romance ur mans with memes and existentialism go for it!! i just think it adds more to the comedy side of this child they have to babysit, while not fearing death or any consequences from their dumb of Ass decisions. someone who fears no death and armed with no braincells is a fool, but a Child who fears no death and armed with no braincells is also a fool, but more bizzare and has That Vibe y’know

@niphredil-14​ and @arthotsglasses​

tw: s*icidal, violent jokes treated in a light manner

also spoilers to some things of their characters

—kenshin:

who is this,, , sassy lost child??

he first saw you prepared to throw hands with ronins who were being Elite Dickheads. ofc, armed with nothing compared to the sworded-adults, he had to interfere.

no matter how cold he treated you, masking his secret !!!-like concern, you seemed so unfazed through it. you still interacted with him like normal,,,,, why?? do you want a death wish?

and each time he threatened you with,, anything, you responded with, “the only one who gets to hurt & kill me, is ME”

...... what?

he’s convinced you’re the biggest fool of a person. and he’d be right but even so, he has a weirdly strong need to protect you as you two got closer. you’re often with sasuke, so it’s harder to avoid you.

even with all the Horrible jokes you make on a daily basis, if your passionate side with everyone having equal rights of being treated as human, for him it shows a side of you that makes you seem precious and pure and kind hearted.

and the overprotective side increases.

which is, ,, a bit problematic sometimes cause you have the tendency to target and piss off anyone in a 10 meter range by just one (1) sassy comment, along with your lack of impulse control and blurting out everything in your mind. it’s made you a lot of short enemies in the sengoku period, and kenshin would always be ready to slice them down behind you.

sasuke has to tame him down with his Masters degree in kenshin-wrangling.

at banquets, kenshin would often have you beside him. if you’re too young for sake do age for drinking exist in sengoku? probably not. it’s more of sasuke advising for him to not give you alcoholic drinks he’ll have you pouring for him or just munching away at pickled plums or food.

—shingen:

(ngl i kinda had a hard time with this since it’s erasing a big part of his overall character,,, flirting)

once he heard the news that oda had taken in somone as young as you during honno-ji,, ,,,he’s in a very “how dare that demon >>:( taking such a pure soul,....”

and when you’re taken to kasugayama as a captive, you’re,,, surprisingly very calm and whelmed. you don’t have much sign of fear or anxiety in your overall demeanor meanwhile you’re busy dissociating and spacing out to feel those

you actually don’t seem to hate your captor. but shingen isn’t sure if your ‘fingerguns’ is a good thing or not cause it depicts you pointing guns @ him,, (dw is good shingen)

while yes being held hostage—no matter how good you’re being treated—isn’t ideal and kinda not very cash money, you consider shingen v chill. man has a kindheart!! “i diagnose you with good vibes.”

if he ever sees your righteous side, as everyone else, he’ll deeply admire you. he himself is someone who believes in such as well. and hearing the circumstances in the modern world regarding those things (blm, etc.) his heart truly does go out for you. he feels sympathy for such a young person like you having to take action

also your dirty humor around him, echigo’s player, kind of makes him question where and how you learnt it

and,, his illness.

through getting straight to the point and not falling for it each time he changes subject/dodges the question, you managed to get to the bottom of his illness. shingen himself thinks it’s not something you have to burden with knowing—you’re so, so young.

but that doesn’t matter to you. the world’s given you such a shit time, you’re mature enough to understand the situation at least.

and as he finishes his explanation, all there was is silence. it felt wrong to say any of your usual quips,, so all you did was slowly came there and hugged him.

that was more than what he’d ask for.

—sasuke:

oh hell yeah

you are in your element with him. the chillest guy to talk to, and probably the first one you’re the closest to

your phone was dead after like 2 days of use, and you were miserable while hideyoshi, like a typical parent, told you to go outside and into town. sensing your bad mood, sasuke asked what’s up. you deadpanned, “my phone game ended and now i’m ready to commit not breath.” you oslemnly look out in the bustling streets and clutched your fist like an Anime Protagonist, “those boomer memes were right all along... i am absolutely Miserable and Useless(^TM) without it.”

in response, you could’ve sworn he did the Anime Glasses thing as well, “then we at team Moderately Awesome Sengoku Ninja are happy to announce the launch of a DIY phone charger, made with the electricity from a fruit and the main functionality of a solar panel. and has more durability than samsung’s.”

there were Stars in your eyes now. with a big grin, you thank him, “i’d die for you, sasuke.”

“then perish.” he said with a blank look. (yukimura, in the bg: ???!!!??!??!?)

the next day he consentually breaks in through the ceiling and gives you the weird contraption. you’re now saved, soul-wise.

the memes start coming and they don’t stop coming from the two of you. in any situation. whether it’d be at a teahouse, or at a battlefield that can determine your life and death.

and you can have discussions about current world events, or the past ones, with him and he’d understand completely what you’re talking about. it’s those rare nights when you’ve been thinking and have a deep conversation with him in his room, and as an adult, it makes for interesting results as well.

the others are endlessly confused, but you’re both so unapologetically yourselves.

and he’s super protective if the circumstances are tough. he feels bad for dragging another person in the sengoku with him—much less when they’re so young like you.

if you’re enough of a lil shit, once you’re taken into kasugayama, in the nights where you can’t sleep because brain at what would be 3 am, you’d probably trudge over to his room and wake him up to tell him what kind of mind-blowing shit you realized.

—yukimura:

when he saved you from falling to your death, your reaction already set off weird Vibes inside him. what do you mean, “you stopped me from fleeing this fleeting world by the sweet embrace of death” ?!?!?! are you crazy?? yes

he doesn’t waste time getting blunt with you at all either.

once he goes into azuchi as a merchant, he silently observes you talking to sasuke for a bit. what’s with your weird language?? and crude humor???? never in his life has he met someone in your age act like that wtf

even so, he still operates on the basis of ‘‘if sasuke trusts you, i trust you’’, no matter how utterly concerned you make him feel

you have a dirtier mind than him! unsurprisingly. along with everyone else, you often tease the poor soul, a nd you’d gladly tell him what the innuendoes mean ( 69, etc.) and maybe sprinkle in some gay jokes in there

and why do you keep mentioning this “bromance between him and sasuke” ?? what us,,, a bromance????? and why is sasuke in it??

he takes you out to teahouses to eat chestnut dumplings and other desserts with you. you always seem to target the one he doesn’t like the most and have a bit of banter

your relationship is built on banter but what’s different rlly

he treats you much more maturely than other people your age. as in, he doesn’t pull back his punches in words most of the time. you don’t seem to around him also, it looks like.

and, he’s also very protective of you. he regards you as his little sibling, as rat as you may be. and he does care about you—he might just be a bit unwilling to say it

—yoshimoto:

you think he’s very chill, if a bit unique but who were you to judge. and he is, if you ever meet him in echigo or even azuchi

his big liking to art and something of apathy to people is osmething you can respect. there’s something about that kind of Vibe that you find oddly a mood.

and oh boy oh boy you wasted no time pulling up your phone and showing images of what art is in the future. whether it’d be a screenshot of anime, fanart, aesthetic-like ones, palette-themed—the whole shabang. 

and, somehow, you were left ranting to him  about how some artists in the future get it so shitty for theft, reposting, not crediting, the list goes on (please be a decent human being to artist, sincerely the author) and he can’t help but just listen in silence and kind of thinking about how you’re so passionate about the Struggles of artists. and it isn’t something he sees often in the sengoku era—where war rules most things.

and he does find art from the modern times interesting, how they’re so different and vast in styles. and not only that, it’s not like the future only has one major style like then, each hand can draw such different pictures and still have beauty in each. he appreciates and admires that.

and he does tell you his thoughts ^ while you give your own insight. it’s so fascinating to see someone like you having strong opinions on this.

because, well, rn art is a big thing in our lives as we’re stuck inside. a part of entertainment is looking at any media of art—and he finds his view of art and yours quite the same. you two came from a time of turmoil (one moreso than the other) but still think art isn’t exactly irrelevant just because it isn’t a cure to diseases or the Ultimate Weapon.

you had to Surgically Remove him from your phone so you can use it and to stop him from draining your battery looking at the art

and he often drags you out to town and admire pieces when you’re holing yourself in too much. your comments are always unknown to him, “radical”, “that’s one i can vibe with ngl”, and the list goes on.

and you occasionally call him pretty boy as a compliment rlly

—kennyo:

when you first saw him at honno-ji, and he won’t forget the one (1) line you gave him, all you said to his warning of ooo spooky demons was, “that’s lit fam gtg tho”

and that alone was enough to stun him for a few seconds

honestly you told the others of your meeting with kennyo before they told you it could be kennyo. just a throaway line of “oh yeah there was this dude with a scar across his face.” / “,,, ,....that’s kennyo. he’s really dangerous actually—” / “oh, poggers”

you’re probably kind of half the reason the oda forces found who dun it.

and it was an eye for an eye, kennyo himself found out that you were their child chatelaine, and very close to the others. as per his villain-schedule, he kidnaps you .

he laments about how “such a pure soul such as yours is not to be stained by the demon’s hands”

oh how Wrong he was.

you were the definition of the opposite of pure. and you seemed unfazed, which surprised kennyo but shrugged it off. he was willing to face you screaming and panicking, along with shouldering the sin of doing the deed. but instead, he was met with a raised eyebrow and, “this is unexpected and probably not welcomed but what am i doing here.”

he was stunned for a moment before explaining what he can. 

“......... fuck.”

he cringed ever so slightly at your curse. but your attention seems to stray so quickly off of the fact that you were bounded and helpless, to the fact that you have the man doing unspeakable things to civilians and you absolutely don’t approve.

throwing your common sense to maybe be civilized, you went off on a rant of how human rights and how to not be an ass to him. all he could do was just listened, shocked to even cut you off.

when he did, he gave the whole ‘unsaved demon’ shtick, and you weren’t taking that kinda shit. he believed he was truly unsaved—you knew that. but that doesn’t make it okay.

eventually, he left you with a cold end of the conversation.

he admires your spirit in a way—but with what he’s experienced,,, it’s a bit of unreachable for him.

if at any point you saw the soft side of his with animals, you just gaped at him for a split second and whispered, “the gap moe is strong with this one.”

also old man died inside when you said that you’d fight god, along with many things.

all in all, to him, you’re insufferable. but weirdly,, fascinating.

you’ve totally ok boomer’d him once cause he rlly looks old

—motonari:

,,. if your speech to kennyo was bad, he’s going to rant hell.

motonari already knew you were interesting even when his men just spied on you. your behavior, so brash and impulsive, is going to be so fun to have, he thinks.

through some planning to stir up more chaos, he kidnaps you and brings you unto his ship. same as kennyo, you showed no clear sign of surprise, and that’s when he decided you were either used to this in any way, or a fool. both answers, he liked.

you’re kind of really confused on why he’s doing what he’d doing. “i get it, i like to stir up chaos myself but it’s harmless,, most of it—but not until the people are in danger, bitch.”

and by that line, motonari leans towards you with a deadly smirk, “now, i can bite, ‘kay kid? you don’t wanna be in the receiving end... do you?”

“do it, coward.”

and before he could let out even a wheeze of laughter, you continued on on a lecture of, again, not being a dick and letting people live their life in peace. and much less all of this damage, for what? chaos?? yeah you wanted to see the world burn but it wasn’t literally.

however, his patience was running thin. he shuts you up forcefully, and leaves.

even so, after a cooldown period, he still talks to you (,,,, well, that’s kind of a generous term) because, right he was, you were so fun in his eyes.

an interesting observation he made,,, was that you picked up on his big dislike of physical contact. and he’d think with how annoying you were at times, that you’d weaponize it. but you didn’t—in fact, you kept your space (not that you were planning to get close) and respected his boundaries.

he thinks you a bit of peculiar for that decision, some wary, and perhaps naive.

one of the days—the more dangerous ones—he was planning to take you to the oda as bait or something. and you weren’t taking it like that. two days before arrival, a storm racked up. you stood upon the edge of the ship with the rest of the crew watching you like you were a madman.

“the oda won’t want me if i’m dead, would they now?”

motonari stands in his composure, guffawing, “all i need is to make sure they believe you’re alive, kid.”

a smile that showed absolutely no fear and 1000 percent spite spread in your face, “not unless i decimate my own body until all the trail left is my blood. the only one who gets to do that shit to me, is me.”

finally, a look of wavering shows in his face.

you were saved last minute,, and the rest is history.

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Okay start us out with those Magicians Opinions!

the first character i ever fell in love with:  LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT QUENTIN COLDWATER.  Okay, but yeah, they really introduced him in a way that worked-worked for me – that whole opening sequence that cuts between Quentin being tense and closed-off and miserable in this hollow, almost angry way in the office of the hospital, and Quentin trying to act normal at a party, making wan jokes while the misery and the anger leaks out of him and makes him just so unpalatable to be around – I mean, Jason Ralph just takes the character by the throat instantly and Goes There.  I remember thinking as I was watching it that this was the first “anxious nerd dude” character I'd ever seen who wasn't being framed as actually funny/weird/charming/vulnerable/the clear audience stand-in, but framed as if he were a real person who's really eaten up by depression and self-loathing, and just as off-putting as that is in real life.  I vividly remember just having that reaction of, “Oh. This is about someone who's really hanging on by his fingernails, not just Hollywood Depressed,” and latching on so hard, because I needed to see that so much, and I needed to root for him to find his reason, not in spite of but because as a character he was resistant to being liked by other people, by the audience. It's not loveable and charming, to hate yourself, to find your life barely tolerable.  It's not a position from which it's easy to see your way forward, and to me Quentin is the most honest expression of that reality that I had ever seen in genre tv.  So like, I get why some people didn't like him in first season – he's intentionally tough to like – but I was ultra-invested from minute one, and literally everything he ever said or did made me love him more.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: I think I was kind of intrigued by Fen early on – I liked the idea that she was this naive fairy-tale girl who was going to have this harsh awakening when her Destined Prince turned out to be a real person who couldn't fulfill her fantasies, who was going to have to figure out who she was beyond “going to marry the king someday.”  That seemed like an interesting arc, and here and there they were kind of doing it – I love the realpolitik she occasionally comes out with, particularly that one scene on the boat when she's like, “The dipshits from my hometown are going to execute me because of you, so sticking with you is kind of my only option and that's just happening.”  But then...I don't know, she's really irritating, and they got this weird thing in their heads where her problem is that Eliot sucks, instead of that being The Girl Who Will Marry the King Someday is a sucky role to be forced into making a real life out of, and I just gave up trying to like her eventually.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: I liked Penny/Kady all right, until they started doing the weird thing where “in Doomed Love with Penny” was Kady's only emotional arc, like – they actually had her say that all she ever cared about was being Penny's girlfriend, and that's the kind of thing that kind of retroactively ruins the pairing for me.

my ultimate favorite character™: So after everything I said up top – it's actually Eliot.  That snuck up on me!  And my love for Quentin never went away, not by any means, but.  God, Eliot.

prettiest character: If I try to take an objective stance, I'd say it's probably Margo?  Like, she's just unearthly beautiful.  But there's something about Jason Ralph's goddamn face that – I don't know, it just enthralls me; he does okay-ish at playing Normal-Looking for TV, but also if I look at him for too long it kind of hurts, he's so stupidly gorgeous.

my most hated character: Hyman.  And I thought we were supposed to hate Hyman, but then season 5 allegedly happened, and everyone was like, aw, Hyman's okay!  But – no he's not?  He's obviously not okay? He deeply sucks?  Ugh, season 5.

my OTP: Hi, I'm Milo, and welcome to my Tumblr.  But yeah, it's Quentin/Eliot, canonical soulmates and The Ditch I Will Die In.

my NOTP: You know, they kind of wore me down to the point of “fine, what the fuck ever,” but I still don't support Margo/Josh.  It's bad, it's a bad relationship, it was a bad idea.

favorite episode: I really love Be the Penny, but the actual answer is Escape From the Happy Place.  I feel allegiance to Be the Penny, I have not a negative word to say about it, but Escape from the Happy Place is just a level beyond, it's astonishingly good.

saddest death: This question is a microaggression and I will not stand for it.

favorite season: I'm about to break your brain, but – it's 4!  It's season 4!  I fucking love the first ten episodes of s4!  I love the Monster, I love Bad News Bear, I love Hard Glossy Armor, I love fucking Santa Claus.  I think s4 has this great propulsive energy where the rest of the series has always been plagued by a tendency to kind of throw everything at the wall and see if anything sticks, the stakes are clear, the external villain and the emotional stuff work together for once, everyone's performances are so strong.  The collapse at the end feels so appalling to me in part because I was totally on the ride for most of the season.

least favorite season: I mean, it's season 5, but it didn't have to be.  I was never going to get over Quentin's death, per se, but I think there were ways to structure the next season that would've been workable, and honestly there are things about s5 that I do like.  I watched most of 5 feeling like it was – messy, but messy in the same way that s2 was messy, the same way The Magicians has always been a little messy, and it wasn't until the end when I really just threw up my hands and was like, okay, I get it, there was never a plan, none of this was going anywhere.  God, the last couple of episodes still frustrate me so much, because right up until that point, there was still time to salvage a lot of character work, but nope!

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: So I don't hate her, and in fact I came to kind of like her eventually, but I did actively hate Julia for a long, long time.  Just.  Like, she really – pushes my buttons in a very specific way, and if she were a real person I would absolutely love myself by having as little contact as possible with Julia, but because everyone except me loves her so much, I really kind of forced myself to delve into her and try to see what people liked about her, and I do think it was a pretty successful project.  I would definitely say at this point that I appreciate Julia as a character, and I have a pretty good sense of what Stuff she activates in me that produces that ruffled reaction, which has allowed me to go beyond Julia Sucks Actually to This Character Is Not Really For Me.  I love and support the 98% of fandom who like Julia!  In my way, I love and support Julia!  But kind of like – a sibling you're sort of forced to into a relationship with, that you love even though they drive you crazy and you're not too sure you will really ever like them.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: The Monster.  I mean, it's not that I wanted a redemption arc for him or anything (although @portraitofemmy has always been onto something with the idea that if the Monster is essentially a child, allowing Quentin to save the world by parenting him would've been a pretty clever payoff for long-term arcs), he's just the kind of villain that is just endlessly fun to watch.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: I mean, that's a pretty succinct summary of the entire Eliot Waugh Experience.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: With the caveat that I still don't believe in guilt because these are just imaginary people in imaginary stories, I definitely still think there's a great romantic tragedy right there for the taking with Eliot/Seb.  I wouldn't say the show should have done it, because that would obviously have been just a very different direction than they intended to go, but as a non-canonical ship, I think it's so potentially rich, and someday I'm going to have time to go back to that story I was writing about them, whether or not anyone else ever gives a shit about it.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: I never could figure out what people's issue was with Julia/Penny23, they seemed to make each other happy.  He was a sweet, supportive dude, and I like their little Wild Thornberrys Interdimensional Adventurers family at the end, although I wish they'd done it on purpose, because “guess what life-changing thing is happening to Julia's body without her consent this week!” was not a well the writers needed to go back to, in my opinion.  But I like the idea that Julia ends up with a good guy and a magic kid and is off doing quests and shit, the whole shebang, I thought that was a nice ending.  For whatever that's worth, and I imagine that from the perspective of a real Julia fan, my opinion at this point is not worth much!

[dearsubconscious]

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend reading my very first post on this page before continuing. This story has themes of emotionsl/psychological/narcissistic abuse. This is my true story. Readers be advised.

Sifting Through the Memories: Part One

Dear Subconscious,

6 years. It took you 6 years to tell me the truth. I don’t think you understand how impactful that actually is. Maybe you thought that you were helping me. Maybe you thought that the walls of ignorance that you had built were keeping me safe. I don’t think I will ever really know. However, those 6 years managed to do just as much damage to my life, if not more that the years prior, all because I didn’t understand.

Those 6 years were so confusing. I found the courage to leave her in fall of 2013, senior year of high school, but you waited until 2019 to explain what really happened during that 5-year-long relationship during my most vulnerable years. In the process of waiting all of that time, I had no real understanding of why I had these horrible habits or these self-destructive tendencies that ruined nearly all aspects of my life.

I knew and understood a lot about depression from middle school and high school; from class discussions on the topic; from the people I was close to at the time that suffered greatly from it; from the people that I helped through the dark via deep and open conversations late into the night over text; from the people I care about most struggling through it; perhaps most of all, from my own struggles with it.

I wasn’t really sure at the time why I was depressed, however. I tried to pin it on my apathy for school, which caused my bad grades. Deep down, I always knew that was actually a consequence of my depression, among other reasons, not a cause. I thought maybe it was because of my family situation at home that had been ever changing from around 4th grade on: parent divorces and marriages, arguments, moving houses and changing schools, new step siblings (I was an only child), destructive, alcoholic step parents. These things may have initiated some depression early on, and they may have been contributing factors over time, but I never really felt that any of these events were ultimately what led to my darkest moments in life. I always knew people my age going through worse things than I was, and they seemed to be keeping themselves together better than I was. So why was I having such a difficult time in life? Why couldn’t I keep up with everyone else? Why was my self esteem so low? My parents were always good at supporting me and giving me love and attention, so how could I feel so low? I just never actually knew until recently. Until it was beyond too late.

I was always taught to try to reach out and always be there to help those in need when they need it most and be a helping hand. It could save a life. And I know that I helped save some of my friends lives. I wasn’t looking for praise or to be a hero. I just wanted to make sure that everyone around me was okay. Maybe I was always hopeful that the favor would be returned should I ever need it. I still hold these values today, as I know that so many people just need to be heard to be saved.

Just like me.

Most of my friends knew that I didnt sleep well in high school. I didn’t know it at the time, but it turns out that was a symptom of my body and mind being in fight-or-flight mode at all times. I was too afraid to sleep for fear of making my girlfriend mad. This still affects my sleep habits to this day. More on that later. This, however, meant that all of my friends also knew that they could text me at just about any time, 24 hours a day, and I would most likely respond. For much of high school, it definitely seemed like I was talking to someone every night, helping them sort their thoughts out and generally letting them vent or open up about their emotions. These talks also, occasionally, had me talking people “back from the ledge” when things got really bad for several of my deeply depressed friends. I always remained anonymous about it for their sake, but I was always glad that I could be there to help in the middle of the night when they were at their darkest. I distinctly remember, in one week, for some reason, three of my friends from three different “walks of life,” unrelated from one another, had all gone through deeply traumatic events and I found myself texting and calling them late through the nights to keep them from making the ultimate decision. All of these years later and I am happy to say that nobody that I knew in high school has taken their own life to this day. It definitely feels a bit miraculous, since I know that my younger step siblings have each lost several friends to suicide during their high school years.

Being young an naive and constantly empathetic toward everyone around me meant that I also left myself very vulnerable and very easy to push around. I never saw it that way at the time, though. Again, naive. I left my empathetic ways open to be used. I didn’t think that anybody could use my kindness against me with malicious intent. Why would they? How could they? I was just being nice.

I suppose that should lead us back to 7th grade, where the real story began. In theater class, an elective I enjoyed in high school, I got to know people better that I hadn’t known before. I had started at a new school where I knew virtually nobody in 6th grade, and the experience of 6th grade didn’t leave much time to get to know anybody yet (though I did meet my best friend in 6th grade). The 7th grade schedule allowed us more time to meet and learn about people in our classes, and theater in particular was a class all about getting to know people so that you could perform characters well together.

This was where I really met her.

We had one other class together, French, but that class had a very strict teacher that allows no time for talking amongst ourselves, so seeing each other’s personalities in theater class meant much more. I remember she always wore the same sweater jacket everyday, just like me. She was small, shy and quiet and she tended to use the sleeves on her jacket to cover her hands. She would wrap her fingers over the ends of the sleeves, gripping tight as if it was protecting her, like some kind of shield. We had to present mini performances often in that class and I could tell that she was very nervous for one of her first ones. She was trying hard to recall her lines and was gripping hard and fidgeting with her sleeve trying to protect herself. I saw a lot of myself in her at the time and I had a lot of empathy for her in that moment. I tried to motion to her to let go of her sleeves so that she could appear more confident. She noticed my sitting in the back motioning, but I think I just looked crazy to her at the time. My use of empathy here should have been the first sign that I was approaching this relationship all wrong. I saw her as someone I could help because I could relate well to.

We started talking a bit in that class. Eventually I managed to convince her to chat with me on yahoo messenger after school so that we could talk more. Our phone plan at the time did not include texting or data, so I was stuck with using yahoo messenger at home on my desktop. We made this work though. I found out quickly that her mom had just gotten married without telling her to a man she didn’t like with two daughters that she did not get along well with. While I don’t entirely blame her for those feelings, even now, her deep apathy for this still probably should have been a red flag at the time, but I was too young and naive to see it at the time. Plus, I was going through something very similar at the time so we had a lot of connection through that. Our conversations were long and we learned a lot about each other. We would trade off asking each other simple questions, like what our favorite song was, or who our favorite family member was. I think this made us feel closer than we were, and at the time we didn’t feel so alone in a strange and lonely life.

She started venting to me about the, supposedly, traumatizing things that she had been going through with her moms marriage and the new people in her house. I should her a lot of sympathy during that time. This probably made her feel like she had someone that would listen to her deepest problems, but it was also the start of her use of my own empathy against me. She would start to use it to trap me in a conversation. Making me feel a little guilty if had to leave for dinner or homework. She didn’t really get angry, but I would always apologize a lot for leaving so she started to get annoyed with the frequency of my interruptions. At the time I thought absolutely nothing about this.

A short time later, I had decided that I definitely liked her because she would connect with and listen to me. I had gotten to know a few of her friends and I had even passed a note to one of her friends that I was thinking about asking her out. Her friend was immediately all over this and wanted me to do it soon. So, one day we were out in groups in theater class, and I remember eaves dropping in her group nearby where her friend was asking her if she likes me. She nodded yes and they discussed a bit. It was a bit of a blur from there, but one way or another I ended up asking her out by the end of that class and she agreed. I was giddy with excitement for weeks, of course. I felt like I couldn’t have asked for things to go better. Puppy love (a term I have come to loath as we called each other puppies for the entirety of the time that we dated. I realized later how she used it as a name to belittle me most of the time). That said, our actual relationship, behaviors and conversations did not change basically at all once we were dating.

Her family was a strict catholic family that taught her to be very uptight about relationships (or so she told me), so we didn’t even hold hands for months. It didn’t even seem like we were in a relationship at all. We were very young anyway, so nobody was really surprised. Summer quickly came around and I was off to see my family in Europe for a month. There was no way for me to communicate with her during that time. With the state of our relationship, that was actually okay. When I returned from that trip, I saw her within the following days and she seemed a bit distant. I asked if we were still together and she agreed, but she seemed a bit apathetic. Our conversations started again on yahoo messenger in the evenings and all seemed normal again.

School soon started again, 8th grade. We only had French class together and we just didn’t seem as connected. I could tell that she was putting some distance on me. I was developing new friends and I became caught up with them more often. Soon (around mid September), she told me that she thought that we should call it off. She felt that we were better off as friends. With the way things were and the fact that we never became very close, I agreed, but it still hurt a little. I had felt good about what we did have at the time, but I couldn’t blame her. I hadn’t helped to close the distance in the weeks before that.

I know, this seems inconsequential on my life up to this point and this clearly wasn’t 5 years, so what really happened. Well, it got a lot more complicated very quickly.

Up to this point, I don’t think that you were blocking much or trying to hide any pain. Not much of the damage had been done yet. You couldn’t have seen what was coming next, so how could I blame you. You didn’t do much to keep me from being very vulnerable around that time, though. You were probably sending up red flags that I didn’t understand because my conscious brain was blind and full of emotions that were blocking you out. I was a teenage boy after all.

To be continued.

Thank you for reading. I only write these when I am going through the low days, often after a PTSD trigger, when I have some sleepless time. It helps me collect myself. Updates to this will not be regular, but I hope that you can follow along. Most of all, I hope that sharing my story can help others that are in or have been in similar situations. This situation has had me feeling incredibly lonely for years. I don’t wish this pain on anyone and I hope that you can keep moving forward like I am. We are stronger together and most importantly: you. are. not. alone.

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome (again) to the Order of the Phoenix, Beth!

You have been accepted for the non-biography character of KIRAN NIRAULA with the facelaim of Amita Suman! We absolutely adored your application, Beth! Kiran is awesome and we love the idea of seeing a new perspective on the dash - someone who isn’t here to fight, but has to rely on the Order for survival. We’re really glad someone has decided to play around with the refugee camp in a new way. 

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME & PRONOUNS: Beth (She/Her)

AGE: 25

TIMEZONE: CST

ACTIVITY LEVEL: Continuing about where I have been. I try to hop on for replies at least twice a week, even if it’s just a hanful at a time.

ANYTHING ELSE: I’m back on my bullshit, and it’s Nicky’s fault for condoning it. Remember when I made the “haha what if” joke about a secondary character who was a refugee? Yeah, that morphed into this.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Kiran Niraula

AGE: 20 (Born October 16, 1961), sorted 1973

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis-female (She/Her). She hasn’t though much about her sexuality, but liking women doesn’t give her any pause. She’s the rare well-adjusted bi not questioning anything and just content to let it be.

BLOOD STATUS: Muggleborn

HOUSE ALUMNI: Hufflepuff

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

When Kiran has set her mind to something, changing it won’t happen easily. She’s very set on facts and observations, and she has a tendency to tune out arguments if they feel half-formed or based more on emotion than evidence. Even to herself, she does this, often taking an emotional gut reaction and thinking about it until she has a logical conclusion to back it up. This will undoubtedly lead to a lot of conflict with Order members, especially those who find it cowardly to do anything but turn and face the fight head on. Kiran isn’t using emotional indicators like bravery and moral high ground as proof of what is right or what she should be doing. She’s looking at the facts of the situation as she sees them. The nobility of the Order’s cause means very little to her in the face of the all-too-visible risks with her family

That said, Kiran is not the kind of person who can idly sit by alone and observe. She’s a doer in the strongest sense and loves to get her hands on a problem, especially problems related to organization and complex tasks. After about a month of trying to keep to herself, Kiran is going a bit stir-crazy and will jump into whatever she’ll be allowed to touch. It will probably mean butting heads and struggling not to get too involved, but even if she doesn’t intend to stick around, she can still solve some problems along the way.

This is the same attitude that has made her great at detail-oriented charms. She likes complex spells and problems, as well as looking at the way magic builds to create layers. Her apprenticeship as a Snitch-maker (more below) fit well within those challenges that she liked, and in the aftermath of not having it anymore, she’s taken to trying to find little ways to play with those ideas and charms. If someone else wanders around and finds a decorative winged horse statue has sudden begun to fly, Kiran was probably responsible.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

Kiran’s parents made the decision to immigrate to England when she was but an idea in their eye. In fact, her amma considered it a sign they’d made the right decision when she discovered less than a month after arriving that she’d been pregnant on the journey up to London. Of course, they had to scramble as a result. They hadn’t planned on a child so soon, but Anil and Rashma were resourceful and managed to get their feet under them before Kiran had any memories otherwise. They always intended to have more children, but a health scare for Rashma when Kiran was three left them unable to justify the risk of Rashma trying to carry more children. Kiran never felt like anything was lacking, though. She did go through a phase where she’d ask for a baby sibling and her parents would have to painfully tell her no, but it wasn’t a long phase and she wasn’t particularly heartbroken. After all, she was her parents’ lucky charm. She didn’t need siblings to share the attention with.

While the specifics surprised them, Anil and Rashma took it in stride when they were told their eleven-year-old possessed magic. They had long suspected she was special and not just to them. Kiran had done things most children couldn’t, and while they could usually rationalize it away, her parents were pleased to have an answer. They were less pleased to lose her to boarding school, but Kiran promised them then she’d never let magic come between her and them. She intended to keep it.

For a long time, she did. Kiran always came home for breaks, even when she had friends who invited her other places, and when she moved out after graduation, she found an apartment not far from her parents’ house. Her life was blossoming, but she never forgot about them. She never deprioritized her amma and abba.

Some things can’t be controlled, though. When Kiran lifted her phone incredibly early one morning—hungover from celebrations the night before—to hear her mother sobbing on the other end about how her father wouldn’t wake up, Kiran went cold. She got through the day completely numb, trying to be strong for her mother even when all she wanted to do was curl up under her father’s favorite blanket and cry. The coroner couldn’t definitively say it was a heart attack, but that was the best theory he had. At first, it was enough. Kiran had no reason to believe it could be anything else.

A few days later, Kiran learned her New Year’s news was not unique. The rumors were swirling, and even certain wixen publications were talking about it. Over a hundred muggles had died of mysterious cause, and the most likely culprit seemed to be, “You know, his group. The Death Eaters.”

It didn’t take long for Kiran to connect her abba to the other deaths. The timing was right, the cause of death was right, and her status as a muggleborn must be the reason. Officially the muggles were just random muggles, but Kiran couldn’t believe that. Her father couldn’t have been randomly chosen, could he? It must be related to her. Somehow it was because of her. Kiran grew paranoid as she wondered how long it would take before her mother was next.

The easiest answer, of course, was to convince her amma to leave the country. She could return to Nepal, go visit Spain, or find another English-speaking country if she wanted to put the language she’d spent twenty years perfecting to use. Rashma refused. “My country is here,” she insisted. “You are here. I’m not leaving the only family I have left.” That settled it then. If her amma wouldn’t leave without her, Kiran had to go too, but when she suggested such a thing, Kiran was shut down. If she was going to leave, she’d have to be sneaky about it. And although it pained her to do it, Kiran started putting distance between herself and her mother. It was a terrible time to do it after Anil’s passing, but Kiran didn’t want to do anything that further put her mother at risk. That meant staying away.

It was almost two months later that she heard whispers that the phoenix group, who she’d only ever heard brought up quietly to gossip about, might be able to help her. They had a group working to provide protection for muggleborns who needed shielding from this fight, who hadn’t done anything but exist to bring war to their doors. Not only that, but while providing that protection, they made arrangements for those muggleborns to leave. Here was a group who could help Kiran disappear and hopefully be untraced. Once she was gone and sent for her mother, Rashma would have no choice but to move to wherever that was by her own logic. When Kiran was her only family, Rashma would follow.

OCCUPATION: Currently unemployed, Previously a metal-charmer

Charms had always been Kiran’s best subject in school. It wasn’t surprising to her when her NEWTS led a London-based Snitch-maker to reach out to Kiran with an apprenticeship offer. She’d been a fan of Quidditch in school and was fascinated by the idea of having a part in the game behind the scenes. She wasn’t allowed to start immediately, of course. She had to observe, study further, and practice her spellwork. Shortly before her father died, Kiran had been allowed after almost a year and half of studying to begin charming toy snitches intended for children. The parameters were smaller, the magic less complex. If she had stayed for another year, she would have moved on to the real thing.

Instead she’s stuck at McKinnon Farm. Stuck is an unfair term when it’s a position Kiran chose, but it still frustrates her that getting away has meant giving up the opportunity of a life time.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

Kiran is not in the Order. She has no current plans to join the Order. She needs them. It’s thanks to the Order that Kiran is now hiding with other Task Force refugees at the McKinnon Farm awaiting somewhere else to go. She sympathizes with their cause and does, on some level, understand why some aren’t happy about her existence. Some seem to be under the delusion that because she is a muggleborn and therefore a perfect Death Eater target, Kiran should want to pick up her wand and go charging head first into battle. Those people can get smacked with a stinging jinx for all she cares.

It is not Kiran’s fault that her parents are muggles. It’s not her fault that some crazy lunatic managed to weaponize the discrimination rampant in wixen society. It is also not her fault that such discrimination exists in the first place. She commends those fighting to try and fix it, but her blood status is not a conscription notice.

Kiran plans to keep the Order’s secrets and carry them with her tucked tightly to her chest, but her plans have never included fighting some crazy war, especially if fighting it means continuing to increase the risk she’s putting her mother through. She couldn’t even get Rashma to believe that Anil’s death could have been caused by that world of her daughter’s that she didn’t fully understand. Rashma thought she was grasping at straws. No, fighting a war she had no business in would be grasping at straws. It would also light on fire the barn her mother was in. Kiran couldn’t do that, not to her mother and honestly not even to herself.

She can see the validity of their ideals and could, if the circumstances changed, potentially be swayed to their side. She does hope they succeed. She just isn’t in a place where she feels like it’s her fight to have or her duty to fight it.

SURVIVAL:

Kiran came to the Order for survival—her own and her mother’s. She looked at them as a savior of sorts when she first came under their protection, but Kiran has grown a bit disillusioned in the time since. First, her doubt grew because she has been there longer than she’d expected. She knew it took time to get someone out of the country, but she hadn’t expected it to take more than a few weeks. As the weeks stretch on, though, she has begun to wonder when it would actually happen. Second, Kiran is just close enough to the goings-on that she can see some of the cracks starting to form. She vaguely knew of James Potter but didn’t know him, so hearing people talking about his death (which she hadn’t been around for) left her unsettled, especially when it seemed like none of them knew how to respond to a betrayal in their midst. With all the chaos going on now, I can only imagine how that trust will further shift, but it’s still more important to Kiran that she find a way to keep her mother safe. The Order still feels like the best way to make that happen.

Thinking about a more mental health focused definition of survival, Kiran is struggling to keep herself fully put together without a structured schedule and something she can actively be working toward. She’s trying to keep herself motivated by problem-solving on her own with puzzles and trying to continue her metal-charming work. She’s also found some little projects around the farm to help out with, although the McKinnons might not always be happy about it when she doesn’t ask first. Regardless, she has to keep busy. That’s the only way she’s going to stay sane.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Overall, Kiran can come across as stand-offish. She isn’t particularly close to anyone in the Order. She sees faces that are vaguely familiar from school, but she didn’t pay much attention to anything that wasn’t in her immediate bubble, which meant Hufflepuff and specifically her year. A lot of her friendships were based on academics or faith, in the case of the few other Muslim students she knew, so if someone wasn’t playing wizarding chess in the badgers’ common room or fit the other criteria, she didn’t pay attention. As a result, she feels like she can keep herself apart from Order members fairly easily. She’s there to get out, not to get friends.

Still, despite not ever having a lot of friends, she is a social person. She needs the stimulation of interaction and has been going crazy trying to keep to herself on the farm. She’s definitely going to start reaching out more, theoretically out of boredom, but more because she craves having those connections again. She’d like to believe she could make them easily, but there are several people she hasn’t necessarily gotten off to the right start with.

Marlene McKinnon: Kiran knows Marlene thinks she and the others being assisted by the task force are a burden. She knows Marlene is frustrated by them eating the McKinnon’s food and taking up space in their house. It probably doesn’t help that Kiran occasionally gets urges to do things like reorganize the library to a system that makes more sense or try to mend a broken gate that’s bothering her and is apparently supposed to stay that way because it’s always been that way. Kiran has a lot of strong opinions, and while she knows it is Marlene and her family’s home, Kiran doesn’t plan to just sit idly by when she can see things that need fixing. Eventually that might prove to be true about the task force itself.

Efa Chittock: Kiran never paid attention to Efa in school. Sure, she heard the gossip of a half-veela like everyone else, but when she was a Slytherin not in Efa’s year, what was the point of paying attention? Now, though Kiran is strangely fascinated by her in a way not unlike how her old muggle friends were fascinated by supermodels. As far as Kiran is concerned, she has that effortless beauty and sex appeal from her heritage that are just unfair compared to the average wix. She wishes she could just smile at someone and have them falling at her feet the way she’s heard a half-veela can.

Mary MacDonald: Some people aren’t meant to get along. As far as Kiran is concerned, she and Mary are in that category. Being told they are just another muggleborn coward will give someone that opinion. Of course, Kiran dished back, snapping about how being muggleborn didn’t mean she should have to fight and that just because Mary felt comfort fighting for the Order didn’t mean that anyone else was lesser for not risking their lives. She didn’t give details, and the two devolved rather quickly into a less coherent spat of insults. Ever since, Kiran has been going out of her way to avoid Mary, but she’s not afraid to go for the throat should the occasion come up.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: The only true ship is chemistry. That said… I made a joke at Nicky about Alaric being one more reason for Marlene to not like Kiran. If someone did pick up Alaric and want to play with it, I’m open to a lot of things, whether that’s casual flirting, friendship that looks like more from the outside, casual sex buddies, a budding romance… or nothing at all. That’s also cool. It’s just something that could be interesting to play with if the chemistry is right since they’re locationally connected.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Kiran would consider it a privilege to have grown up with her faith, her family, and her muggle education. Some of the things she’d heard out of pureblood mouths have proved that crazy fact she can’t fathom that they know nothing of science. Coupled with that, the fact that some of them can count feels like a miracle. She’s relied on some of that base foundation she had from muggle schooling, and even if it meant she hadn’t come in knowing some of the theory that a few of them did, she still had the background to problem solve and determine the important bits. The scientific method has been invaluable to her charms work, even if her boss hadn’t ever called it that.

Those feelings about blood status can blind her sometimes, though. Kiran can be quick to dismiss someone else’s experiences without realizing the nuance of all situations. That said, she’s fine letting halfbloods and purebloods fight “on her behalf” in the Order. She appreciates people with—in her eyes—less to lose fighting the fight. She doesn’t necessarily see the layers to it the way others might be able to, but she isn’t looking for them. Kiran feels like she knows, and that confidence has created dark spots in her vision.

One place she doesn’t even begin to apply logic, though, is the existence of half-breeds. The very idea of them made her uncomfortable when she first found out they existed, hearing about the half-veela first year and not understanding what that meant. The image of creatures and other beings combining with humans had blown her mind and not in a way that was comfortable to think about. She’s mostly over that, but the idea still confuses her, especially when the combination is one that receives whispers of odd and creepy and other. Some half-breeds are exotic to her, like half-veelas while others still just weird her out. She’s confused and frightened by werewolves, will avoid half-goblins, and still doesn’t understand the logistics of how a half-giant exists and is working at Hogwarts. She won’t be cruel about interacting with half-breeds, but she won’t necessarily be kind either.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? I’m trapped and can’t get out. No, I’m absolutely kidding. I love all of you. You’re such a talented bunch of writers and a wonderful group of people. I’m excited about the opportunity to wiggle someone new into the mix.

PLOT DROP IDEAS: I would like to eventually explore Kiran joining the Order. That is the end goal of making her a primary and not a secondary character, even though she currently intends to leave. Because of that, I’m going to need plotting with other characters to help challenge where she is and explore her possibilities. As far as specific plot drops go, I don’t have anything, although it could be interesting to have a situation where she ends up getting sucked in without meaning to. Also, while I want to fully explore the “before joining” part that’s depicted in her app here, it will mean she runs a strong risk of being location-locked until she changes her mind.

ANYTHING ELSE? 

Headcanon about religion: Kiran was raised in a Muslim household, and since the Muslim community is a minority in Nepal, it wasn’t a hard transition for her parents when they moved the family to England. Kiran’s time in Hogwarts did loosen her adherence to certain practices, but she still considers herself Muslim and follows general practice. She tried to pray at least once or twice a day, usually catching the prayer at sunset and the last prayer of the day, although she is not strict about performing all five prayers each day. She also hasn’t really attended a mosque regularly in years, first because she couldn’t while at school and then because she was content in practicing on her own. That’s come in handy now that she’s at the farm full time because she didn’t have to get used to not having access to her religious community. She does her best to follow halal food practices, so because she has to assume none of the meat in the McKinnon kitchen followed halal preparation, she has mostly turned vegetarian in her time since arriving. She often would order vegetarian items before when out to eat anyway, so while she misses having meat in her diet, it hasn’t been a complete shock to get rid of it, at least for a short time.

Note to any current or future players: I’m dependent on research and fact-checked prior knowledge in depicting Kiran’s religious attitudes. If I ever misstep, please let me know to be able to correct it.

EXTRA FOR NON-BIO CHARACTERS:

PAST: While the specifics may have surprised them, Kiran’s muggle parents took it in stride when they were told their eleven-year-old possessed magic. They had long suspected she was special and not just to them. They proudly watched her from afar as she excelled at Hogwarts, especially in Charms. Kiran didn’t necessarily have a lot of friends, but hey, she had enough to get by and generally tried to stay in her lane unless there was a problem she could solve. As she grew, she stayed family-oriented and prided herself on the kind of hard work and loyalty Hufflepuffs are known for. Upon graduation she became an apprentice Snitch-maker. Metal-charming fascinated Kiran and played to her strengths perfectly. She excelled in her apprenticeship as she took in each new skill like a puzzle to solve. Kiran was completely in control of her life. Some things, though, cannot be controlled.

PRESENT: When Kiran lifted her phone incredibly early one morning—hungover from New Year’s Eve celebrations the night before—to hear her mother sobbing on the other end about how her father wouldn’t wake up, Kiran went cold. It was only later that she realized he’d been part of a random attack on muggles by Death Eaters, one of the one hundred and two people who lost their lives in the orb attack. Desperate to save her mother from a threat the woman refused to believe existed, Kiran turned to the Order’s Dissendium Task Force for protection and to help her get out of the country quietly in hopes that her mother would follow. It’s been a long, slow month since she arrived, and although she originally had no interest in the Order itself, Kiran can’t help being drawn to its problems and its members. She is a problem-solver, after all. She’s stuck at the McKinnon Farm, and with nothing else to do, Kiran intends to make herself useful. She’ll go crazy otherwise.

FC CHOICES: Amita Suman (first choice), Banita Sandhu, Anya Chalota

***Quote note: If Banita or Anya are chosen, reference to Nepal should change to India.

[narilgc]

𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . . but i don’t regret the thing that i did !! hello all, i’ve been keeping this under wraps for the past few days but on a whim i’ve decided to bring on my second ( and last, i promise ) muse for the ride !! with that being said, it is jada here, max’s mun, but this time i’m presenting to you the wonderful im nari !! she was my initial idea before max, but i loved her too much to get rid of her !! i’m so excited for her to be here and i really hope she’s well received as well !! i’ve been slow on his acc for the past few days, and she’s the reason why, but now that i’ve gotten my life ( mostly ) together & things are running just fine again !! anyways, her profile’s here, and below you can find some general trivia on her as well as connection ideas !! oh, and like this to plot ! 

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 :

from damyang, south korea !!  a v small agricultural town & was born into humble beginnings - a seamstress for a mom, and her dad a farmer !! so she lived on a small farm when she was younger and was raised with pigs, cows, and goats as pets !

she helped around the farm her whole time she lived home, so she has a lot of life skills t & knows all about caring for animals and tending the farm !

they weren’t well off by any means - they had a small income to spread thin between all those people - but they made it work !! she never felt truly slighted as she knew their situation, in fact in her own way, she was spoiled in the best way she could be given their predicament.

raised in a household full of boys - she’s the youngest w a family of 6 loud, rowdy boys.

so in a way she’s more of a tomboy, used to roughhousing and all her sibling’s antics !! she’s also used to doing a lot of heavy lifting around the farm so has surprising strength for her size.

on the other hand, being the youngest & only daughter has upped the girliness !! she’s used to being babied so knows all about acting cute & her mom was always using her as an experiment for all her clothes !! was raised on handmade dresses her mom made in all sorts of intricate patterns & loved it !!

has been an actress in the making for a g e s !!! it all started when she was a really young kid, her mom would let her watch the tv in the tailor shop so she’d have something to do while her mom was at work !!

so there was this drama “a rolling hills romance” ( which i TOTALLY made up lmao !! ) that she absolutely loooved !! it was about a farm romance and was one of the only ones she saw that wasn’t taking place in the city !! it just got her in love with acting in general though, she’d eventually memorize scenes from all the dramas she’d watch and recite them out of the blue !!!

eventually it got her into theatre acting, which was her favorite !! she started watching broadway shows from abroad, memorizing the songs even though she didn’t always know what they were saying. but she just loooved the whole thing, and when she was in middle school she joined her school’s theatre department !

this is where the majority of her english skills came into play - she would memorize the lyrics, and though she didn’t really know what they were saying after a while she began to understand some words !! so while her pronunciation is pretty good from mimicking actors, she lacks the vocab to really use it !!

so she’s really hesitant to speak in english, because if people hear her speak they think she’s a lot more fluent than she is & it lands her in awkward situations !! so she mainly just ... doesn’t do that lol !!

i can’t believe i forgot this when i first wrote this !! this is a very vital part of her character omg !! her first “acting debut” if you could call it that was for a chocolate commercial when she was 8 !! basically she was in this christmas commercial for peppermint chocolates that got on tv and everyone in her town went crazy !! she like goes and delivers these chocolates while singing jingle bells and it’s wholesome and cute and swet !! it wasn’t that big at all lol but for their small town it was, and to them she’s a sort of small celebrity for it !! i’m sure some people might remember the commercial but notlike .... her yk ?? because that was her first and last role for a while lol !!

anyways !! she’s always been self-conscious of her looks - she felt like she wasn’t pretty enough, and limited her confidence. so at 16 she got 2 part-time jobs to begin saving up money, and at 17 she went to seoul to get a nose job & jaw reduction surgery.

and things seemed to be great after that !! she was confident, gaining more friends, but the real excitement came when her mom read online about an audition for legacy and jokingly asked if she wanted to do it. 

legacy had never even be on her radar !! she had always heard her friends talk about them for idols, but she had never thought of them as a company that accepted actresses. upon reading though, she was hooked !! she begged her parents, and they originally rejected the idea because they thought it was one of her phases. however, after much persuasion, they allowed her to attend auditions !!

she never expected to get in, she wanted to do it more as an experience than anything. but to say it was a shock was an understatement !! but she was so so incredibly happy.

had a hard time adjusting initially - she was only 17, and almost right after getting there she had to spend her birthday alone since she hadn’t made any friends yet. and although she’s naturally outgoing, it was really hard for her to be social at first because she was surrounded by so many more people than she was used to !!

for the past few years nari’s been doing general idol training, though that’s about to change !! she’s significantly improved her dance skills ( which were nearly nonexistent prior to training ) & gotten a lot better at her singing !! but her heart’s still deep into acting, and she knows that she wants to do that as well as some modeling !

she still suffers a lot with her self confidence, and there’s a lot of pressure for her to do well ! in school, because she’s the first of her family to go to university, and as a trainee, because she’s risked so much for it & doesn’t want to disappoint since her family has v high expectations for her !

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 :

a little lovebug !! she’s literally so loving and accepting of everyone - definitely, someone you can come to talk out any issues, she listens & provides support, free of any judgement !! also v keen on skinship i apologize in advance

she’s come out of her shell a lot since she got to seoul, but she’s still a little shy if she doesn’t know you well or is put in a situation w a lot of people !! pls be patient with her ^^

like max, she’s got a lot of energy in that little body !! but she actually has adhd so a lot of it isn’t really by choice. it frustrates her a lot because it limits her focus & has the tendency to make her restless. it was worse when she was younger, but has gotten better as she’s gotten older and she takes medicine to keep everything in check.

she’s also got v low self-confidence, she’s never been satisfied with herself and constantly wants to get better !! despite the surgeries, she’s still got a lot of insecurities both physically and not, but keeps them bottled up a lot bc she doesn’t want to burden others !! ( i want to shake her !! ) bc of that, she takes both criticism & compliments very seriously, she’ll turn all red if someone gives her the smallest compliment but will also overanalyze & judge herself if she gets critiqued. 

in fact her surgery’s almost made her more self-conscious, as she now feels that all the opportunities granted to her are because of her looks post-surgery. the worst insult she could get was she’s only succeeding because of her looks, because she’s worked so hard on her skills and she wants them to be what takes her forward, not something she had to pay to get.

despite that, she’s the true definition of a happy virus !! on the outside, she’s almost always smiling, and when all the other stuff doesn’t get in the way, she is on the inside too !! always trying to look on the optimistic side & give people a fresh perspective !

on that note she’s v childish, and sometimes she has to remind herself w younger trainees coming in she’s being seen as more of an example and needs to be ~serious~!!

the duality is real !! in performances, sad / angry scenes are actually her specialty, and right after she’ll just spring up and smile like what’s up guys !!! a lil creepy when she goes from sobbing to giggling so she’s learned to transition a little better lmao !!

she always wanted to be a youtuber, but never got the chance, and by the time she joined legacy she wasn’t allowed to have an account. so now she has these little vlogs she does to send her parents ! they’re mainly of her getting ready, hanging out with friends, and practicing ( all out of training hours, ofc ) so she can often be found seemingly talking to herself, even though she’s really recording videos !! 

though being an idol wasn’t her initial dream, she adores the music. her love for the kpop genre has made the last few years more bearable, and girl crush concepts are her absolute favorite !! she’s been religiously keeping up w future dreams like she’s still just a fan back at home, and you’ll catch her humming all around the company building !!

in fact, prior to joining legacy, she had a fan blog for all her faves where she would provide commentary called ri raves !! it was ... a sight !! 

she’s pansexual, and leaning towards girls !! it’s something she’s really shy about sharing bc of the fear of judgment, but if she tells you know you have all her trust !!

a little spoiled tbh !! she’s got the youngest child syndrome BAD, and since she was the only girl she’s used to things being done for her !! not in the bratty way, it’s just made her a little lazy and she loooooves attention and being doted on.

don’t let her appearance fool you though !! she’s got surprising strength ... strong woman do bong soon’s not her favorite show for no reason !!! all those years of defending herself from her brothers’ teasing had to come in handy, you know ?? we’ve got a black belt in hapkido here folks !!

definition of a theatre kid, starts bursting out into songs she loves out of nowhere omg it’s embarrassing ?? also overreacts about everything omg the world is on fire according to her !! she’s gotta faint dramatically !!!

she’s got the jeolla-do dialect, and prior to working on her standard dialect it was veeery prominent ! it makes her say a lot of words differently than someone from seoul might, and after realizing she was one of the only ones with it she’s been trying to make her speech sound more like standard korean nowadays.

she’s taken up sewing from her mom, and especially loves embroidery !! so she always loves upcycling & spicing her outfits up !!

definitely has a unique fashion sense because of it - in addition to that she’s very frugal, and favors thrifted clothing !! she’s got a mix of vintage, chic, and artsy style !

 a rule follower !! veeery unlike max, she tends to stick to the rules out of fear of what will happen if she doesn’t, because she has way too much on the line to quit now !

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :

acting buddies ?? i know there aren’t too many, but even if that’s not your muse’s preferred career path, any muses who have a passion for theatre are welcomed as well !!

someone who unlike her, is v wild and lives on the crazier side !! she’s constantly going into a responsible panic when they’re around and they’re always trying to get her to loosen up !!

someone who co-stars in her little vlogs to her family !! hey, if you can’t be youtubers for real you might as well pretend, right ??

someone who made her adjustment to seoul easier as she transitioned from country to city life !! they’ve lived in seoul for a long time / their whole life and know all the best spots to show her !!

someone who’s clothing she likes to spice up, she’s always embroidering or adding pattern to their clothes to give their outfit a little flair !

someone who knows her past her happy side, who she’s got on speed dial whenever she’s feeling down and needs someone to talk to, and vice versa !!

someone who she came out too, be it on purpose or by accident, and it’s caused her to grow really attached to them bc it’s one of the most personal things about her !

a girl she’s got a crush on but is terrified to tell !!! like yes you’re pretty .... but these things are never easy !!! she’s gonna tell you .... eventually !!

and ofc - exes, flirtationships, summer loves, anything of the sort !

someone she lowkey fangirls over ?? she still hasn’t accepted the fact that she & the other trainees are kinda on the same level, someone she’s kind of became a fan of and can’t really function around them ??

by some crazy chance, this person has come across her old kpop fan blog at one time or another and won’t !!! let !!! her !!! live !!! it !!! down !!! will you accept her bribe and swear to never bring it up again ??? please ???

someone she doesn’t like ??? this is v rare but ... for one reason or another, she can’t stand them and transforms to a completely diff person around them !!

someone who made the mistake of teasing her a little too much or insulted her so much that she just straight-up tries to take them down !!! v unexpectedly !! bonus if it’s someone way out of her fighting capabilities !!

more ideas coming when i create an official plots page !!