#girl is damn near the most useful fucking one of the bunch

[bxriles]

I just finished my re-read of Empire of Storms and I gotta come out and say it.

Aside from Aelin, Lysandra is really the most useful one of the entire fucking group. Yes, everyone in Aelin's court is hella powerful and they all carry their own weight, but GODDAMN. LYSANDRA REALLY BE CARRYING HALF THE DAMN WAR EFFORT ON HER FUCKING BACK.

[cherryswisherz]

what does this mean

azzi x oc

warnings: smut, choking a lil bit, pining, friends to lovers, azzi a part gyal, rushed as a mf

based off this rec

"you know if you feel about the same way, i'd be so out my mind. could be dangerous, we'll fall but i'll give you the world."

give you the world (steve lacy, 2022)

-

when azzi called me at 3am to come get her from her apartment, i didn't ask any questions. it didn't matter to me that we were just together 30 minutes prior, or that she'd sounded softer than usual. she was my best friend. she was a wild child, a party girl, a motor mouth, a diva. she was all these things, and she was my best friend since we were 19. 

being azzi's best friend meant doing as told, because she was the peoples princess. she never had to ask for things, they were just given to her. 

and now here we were in my bed, she'd changed while i showered, and now we laid in my bed. she never slept in my bed. always in the guest room that she'd dubbed as hers. but tonight she'd simply climbed into my bed like a cat and looked at me until i bended to her will and joined her. 

what does this mean?

almost like she'd read my mind, she spoke. "when i first saw you, it wasn't anything. It wasn't love at first sight. you were so fucking attractive. and i was aware of you. you were around. i was around. we saw each other. but you were mostly silent. you never talked about anything other than basketball. and then one day a bunch of us were at ted's i remember. and you laughed for the first time and the whole room turned to look at you. and from then on i started to listen to things you said and started to want to be around you. and then today you wore that hat and it made your eyes pop and that was it. i was gone."

azzi was looking at me with that pure focus that made me feel like the most powerful thing in the world. and i knew it was an illusion. i knew that it was just one of the many things that made her magnetic. she picked up every needle in the haystack and she didn't even try. she couldn't help it. i told myself this and yet, under her gaze, i became powerful. 

my hands felt too clumsy against the small of her back, even though there was plenty of space for it. if i'd moved that hand lower, where i'd pictured it a thousand times, would she object? an hour ago i might have said yes. now i saw something bright in her eyes, bright like the spots of light dancing across the darkened city. 

what did that mean? 

i tangled my fingers in her t-shirt, as if that would give me more of her. it wouldn't but sometimes desperate people tried pointless things because it was better than sitting and wanting. i thought kiss me. please fucking kiss me. give me something. give me a reason. give me permission. 

maybe she'd heard me. maybe she saw it on my face because i was that fucking obvious. either way, she trailed her fingers up my arm and i felt fireworks spark and fly. my core tightened and my pussy damn near cried, all because she'd touched my fucking arm. i had no idea  how she did this to me. i'd never understood and i doubted i ever would but i never wanted her to stop. 

and yet, she did. her weight shifted as she leaned towards me, raising her chin until our mouths were level. so close that there was no space for light between us, so close that i barely saw her in the darkness. i felt her though. and then she stopped. 

my pulse was racing, my blood burning through my veins, like wildfire. my nerves tingled in anticipation, but i stayed still. stayed quiet. 

azzi licked her lower lip, the tip of her tongue sliding over that plump curve, like ripe fruit. i wanted to sink my teeth into it. 

her whisper sliced through the air like a knife. "god, zara. you're soooo.... fuck." her fingers caught in my tee, tightening like she wanted me impossibly closer. 

i told myself to stay in control, but i'd lost the meaning of the word somewhere along the line. like i didn't recognize it anymore. so instead i told myself, fuck it. 

i closed the space between us. my lips slanted over hers, barely touching, and that was enough to take the air right out of my lungs. in the silence and the shadows, the brush of her lips felt like something holy. like prayers whispered into the earth. like purifying flames. this was the closest i'd ever get to perfection. 

but no. she pulled away, and laughed softly. "kiss me like you mean it, my love." 

she was fucking impossible, and that was perfection. 

i slid and hand into her hair and pulled her back to my mouth. this time, when our lips met, the flames didn't purify so much as devour. i kissed her hard, the way i'd always dreamed, and she responded like i'd always dreamed, except it was so much better because it was real and it was azzi and i couldn't fucking believe it. she kissed me as if she were starving. her breath came in short, sharp little gasps and her whole body rocked against mine. 

her hair felt like a cloud in my hand, thick and cool and fresh. i tightened my grip on it because right now, i could. as long as she kissed me like this, she was mine. my other hand slid from her back to her ass and the ache between my legs grew heavier. she was wearing my t-shirt, like she always did when she slept over. so i dragged up the fabric, and she arched her back like it was an invitation, and nothing had ever turned me on more in my fucking life. 

 i slid my hand the bare skin of her thigh, and traveled the curves of her thighs until i reached heaven. grabbing one cheek, sinking my fingers into the curve of her ass, actually made me moan against her lips. i could feel the fabric of her panties, cotton, and in my fucking way. i struggled to push them to the side, and she laughed against my mouth. 

"just take them off." she whispered. 

i shook my head even though i wanted nothing more than to do just that. "if there's something you want me to do, ask for it. nicely."

i expected her to laugh or tell me to fuck off, but azzi never did what i expected. 

"zara," she said softly. "take them off. make me cum. kiss me until we fall asleep." she was slightly breathless, but there was no laughter in her voice. she recited her list with something like desperation.

i sat up, pulling her with me. she gripped my shoulders, and straddled my lap. my pussy was screaming at me to do something  i ignored her, because right now, i wanted to focus on the woman in my arms, and all the things i wanted to do. make her smile. make her sigh. make her scream. 

i raised a hand to her face and ran a thumb over her cheek. "asking," i whispered, "is hard. taking is easy. doing is easy. but asking for what you want.... asking is showing someone everything, and trusting that thy won't use it against you. asking is about feeling safe." 

azzi swallowed hard. then she caught my hand, the one sitting at her waist, and moved it lower. over the ridges of her abs, the gathered fabric her skirt until my palm came to rest her pussy. 

i squeezed my eyes shut as the last of my common sense evaporated. i couldn't stop myself if i tried. couldn't stop myself from feeling every inch if her, from stroking her soft folds through the fabric of her underwear.  she made a soft noise in the back of her throat, rocking against my palm. 

that was all i wanted. for her to understand the need. to feel it the way i'd always had. i wanted her hungry. 

i shoved my hand beneath the waistband of her panties, and the i kissed her. as my fingers tangled in her soft curls, i nudged her clit and the moan she let allowed me to slide my tongue over hers. she sank her fingers into my hair and the part of my mind that still functioned, was grateful that i always did what she asked. that i stopped straightening my hair years ago because now, she was pulling hard and the sharp pain danced down my spine like something heaven sent. 

"you have no idea." i choked out. 

"what?" she panted, biting my lip.

"how much i want you. how much i have wanted you-"

"you can't be serious." she chuckled, still kissing me. 

i circled her clit and gave her the pressure that made her breath hitch. "of course i'm fucking serious."

she moaned, arching into my arms. "i thought.... i mean, you always seem so.... fuck-" she cried out. "i notice now."

"i would hope so." i lowered my lips to her throat, tasting her there. 

"you can't leave a hickey." she gasped. 

"there? or anywhere?"

"there, or anywhere someone could see." 

"fine." i sighed. 

"fuck," she panted. i kissed her neck, tasting the coconut oil she always used and was filled with pleasure when she whispered something that sounded like more. 

i pulled back, still circling her clit, and asked "what was that?" 

"nothing." 

i let go of her waist, sliding my hand up to her throat. her gaze, suddenly sharp and defiant, met mine. i smiled. "liar." 

she stuck her tongue out so i pulled her forward and kissing her, devouring her wondering how the reality of azzi was so much better than every single one of my fantasies. 

weren't fantasies untouchable? wasn't reality disappointing? 

she held my face as we kissed. the kiss was frantic and desperate and messy and nothing had ever been so perfect. i slid my hand from her clit to her entrance and pushed a finger inside. she moaned into my mouth and god she was so fucking hot, and so tight and i was so turned on that i was practically hurting. 

i dragged my mouth from hers, "touch me." i demanded in a voice that i didn't recognize. 

it was as if she'd been waiting for permission. her hands finally strayed from my hair, to the place i needed her most. she reached between us and dipped into my pants, rubbing me like it was her god given job. 

i groaned with relief as she slid her hand over me. i spread my legs so she could work and then added a second finger to reward her. 

she caught my earlobe between her teeth for one sharp second then pulled back to plant a kiss on my nose. "i love your nose." 

i bit back a moan as she swiped a finger over my clit. "you're the only  person who's said that." 

"don't know why," she rubbed my clit hard and fast, "the first time i saw you, all i wanted to do was sit on your face." 

"don't say shit like that." i tightened my grip on her throat, just nough to remind her i was ther. 

"why not?" she asked, her voice wavering as i reached deeper inside her, finding that tender spot. 

"because, i said and repeated the action. "i'm trying to draw this out as long as i can." 

she cried out, her pussy clenching around my fingers. "oh my god keep doing that. holy shit." 

i watched as her face twisted. she writhed against me with every thrust of my fingers, her breath coming in gasps. her hands shook as her pace on my clit quickened. 

my body trembled as every nerve ending on my body exploded. i came with an embarrassingly loud moan of her name.

 i felt her tighten around my fingers until it was almost painful and then she looked at him biting her lip, chest heaving, cheeks dark. 

and then with a sigh azzi fell off my lap and back into my side, holding me a little closer than before i knew what she tasted like and traced circles on my stomach.

as i felt her breathing even out, i stared at my ceiling and asked myself once again...

what does this mean?

niyah speaks: hate this lol but i posted AYYYE!!

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[ovrour]

IM SO LOST WITHOUT YOU⇢ CHRISTOPHER STURNIOLO

summary; y/n is put in the hospital after being drugged at a party. The whole time her bestfriend, Chris is by her side. Both of them knowing that she wasn’t going to make it. Chris admits how he feels for her in their last moment together.

Genre; heavy angst

cw; Mentions of being drugged, rape, and Death.

a/n: im sorry. guys, this shit is so sad like, i almost cried making this. please, if any of this triggers you, feel free to click off. im not offended. and please, if something like this has ever happened to you. please reach out to someone. its always important to talk to someone about it rather than just staying quiet. my dm’s are always open. feel free to reach out to me. im always here. and if this offends anyone in anyway, please message me privately. im glad to take it down if it does. thank you.

Maybe it was a bad idea to bring you to the Party.

No.

It was a bad idea to bring you to the party. Chris was supposed to protect you. you weren’t supposed to end up here.

not where you would be connected to a bunch of machines with an IV in your arm. Oxygen tube in your nose. you would’ve preferred to be at home with the triplets, watching Shrek. Popcorn and candy, soda on the side.

laughing with your friends, and gossiping about all different types of things. yelling and laughing about different debates and their opinions on them. thats what you wanted. thats what everyone wanted.

they didn’t want to see you like this. connected to so many damn machines. they gave oxygen just so you could fucking breathe.

doctors came in almost every minute of the day, just so they make sure you were okay. it was back to back. nonstop.

making sure there wasn’t anymore drugs in your system.

you never should’ve agreed to go to that damn party chris invited you to. one minute you were fine and drinking. next minute your head was pounding, sweat pouring down your face, and then all of a sudden your passed out on the couch.

“Guys, have you seen y/n? she was just here.” Chris asked looking at his twin brothers. “no, she said she went to go get a couple drinks for us.” Nick responded.

“how long ago was that?”

“about 10 minutes ago.”

“and you didn’t go to check up on her?”

“no, i didn’t have to. she texted me saying she was on her way back.”

“and she’s not here is she?”

“No, shes not”

“then im going to go look for her. stay here.” Chris stood. He was walking up to where the drinks were and asked a brunette haired girl, if she had seen you.

“Uh, yeah i did. i think she went that way.” she pointed towards the opposite of the room near the restroom. He thanked her and walked towards the bathroom. He knocked. nothing. He knocked again. again, nothing.

He started to panic. his bestfriend was nowhere to be seen. then, he looked towards the left near the couches. there you were, passed out. Some guy on top of you, with his pants pulled down, and yours too.

He was upset, angry that someone had the nerve to take advantage of you in your most vulnerable moments. He stomped his away over there, fists clenched.

“Dude, get the fuck off her! who do you think you are.” Chris shouted. “Bro, why are you bothered? it has nothing to do with you.” The guy laughed. “it hs everything to do with me. Thats my fucking friend your taking advantage of.” Chris pulled him off you, pulling your pants up in the process.

“Alright bru, damn.” the guy walked away.

“y/n?” Chris shook you. and again. and again, and again. When you didn’t wake up or respond he panicked. Called his brothers and told them.

“Cmon chris, we’re gonna help you get here outside.” Matt spoke. they all picked you up to carry you outside. “Nick, call 911! she’s not responding.” Chris said, eyes filling up with tears. “Okay, i will.” Nick responded, hurrying to get his phone.

“you’re going to be okay y/n. i promise.” Chris cried. Holding you in his arms, his tears spilling onto your face as he ran his hand through your hair.

eventually, the ambulance made it. Bringing out a gurney, and laying ontop of it. “look, im gonna ride with y/n. you guys take the car.” Chris walked towards the ambulance. Matt, and Nick heading to car.

“Do you think she’s gonna be okay?” Nick asked. Tears starting to form in his eyes. matt looked at him.

“yeah. i think she’ll be okay. it’s y/n, shes always okay.”

they both chuckled, hoping they were right. the whole drive to the hospital was silent. how could they have let this happen to their friend. someone who they deeply cared about.

they should’ve just accompanied her. not just sit on their ass.

“y/n, im so sorry.” he cried, holding your hand as they put you on an oxygen tube. “you should’ve told me. i would’ve went with you to get drinks. otherwise none of this would’ve happened.” He apologized. blaming everything on himself. it was his fault.

“guys, shes barely got a pulse. we need to hurry.” spoke one of the paramedics. Chris’ heart dropped, he couldn’t handle losing you now. not his girl. not the one hes loved since middle school.

“im so fucking sorry y/n. none of this would’ve happened if you could’ve just said no. i never should’ve asked you to come to this damn party, if i knew this was where it was going to end.” He breathed deeply, legs bouncing with anticipation.

“everythings gonna be okay. you’re gonna be okay. how could you not be?”

“youre y/n. youre always okay.”

he felt so guilty. guilty knowing that this happened all because he invited you to some damn party. he would’ve never asked if he knew that this was going to happen. he never would’ve.

Chris would’ve rather stayed home. cuddled up with you by his side, eating all kinds of of junk food together. if you would’ve just asked. you only agreed because you didn’t want to make him feel like he was forcing you to.

eventually you make it to the hospital, paramedics rushing you in, Chris still standing by your side, even when they asked him to go sit down. which, he did but he was a nervous wreck. waiting to see what doctors had to say.

“anyone here for y/n y/l/n?”

Chris was zoned out thinking too much that he didn’t hear the doctor at first.

“Chris.” Nick spoke. “H-huh?” he hummed, turning to look at Nick. “The doctor.” Matt commented.

Chris turned to see the doctor standing there looking around. “Oh.” He stood. “uh yes, that would be me. is everything okay?” He asked, eyes filling up with tears.

“uh no.”

“w-what happened?”

“we tested y/n for drugs and it came back positive.”

“h-how that doesn’t make sense. y/n doesn’t take drugs.”

“We know. we called her mother, and she confirmed that she doesn’t. she’s on her way here now.”

“then, how did the drugs get in her system?”

“we think she might’ve been drugged.”

“do you know how this could’ve happened?”

“uh yeah, we were at a party. someone must’ve slipped something in her drink.”

“okay, and uh one more thing.”

“what is it?”

“we found traces of semen in her as well.”

“are you saying…”

“yeah, she was raped.”

“oh my god.”

Chris just stood there and thanked him as they both went their separate ways. Both Nick and Matt stood.

“is everything okay?” matt asked. “is she okay?” nick commented. “she was drugged.”

“what thats impossible. she doesn’t do drugs.”

“yeah i know. someone slipped something in her drink.”

“and uh..”

“and what chris?”

“she was raped. someone raped our friend.”

They just stood there in silence not knowing what to say. the tention felt upsetting and they were all so distraught that something like this could happen. how they could let this happen.

they were supposed to protect you. no matter what it was. their promise was to keep you safe. to care for you, to be by your side no matter what.

“boys.” spoke a middle aged woman. it was your mom, her eyes puffy from crying. “ms.l/n”

“how is she? what happened?” she asked now standing infront of them. “she’s not okay. she was drugged and raped.”

Hearing that come out of Chris’ mouth broke her to pieces. her sweet babygirl was used and taken advantage of by some guy. thinking about it made it worse. She just stood there not moving an inch, tears pouring down her face.

All of the triplets just stood there and hugged her. they knew how hard this was going to be for her. I mean, her daughter was still so young, and she was filled with joy and love. all of a sudden, that’s just taken away from you.

“we’re so sorry ms.l/n, this is all our fault.” Nick spoke. “how so?” she questioned. “we invited her to this party that we got invited to. she didn’t have to go. if she would’ve just asked to stay, we would’ve. we would do anything to go back and change that.” Commented Chris.

“oh my god. how could you let this happen? you promised to take care of her!” she shouted, pulling apart from chris. “we did. if we would’ve known this was going to happen, we never would’ve asked.” Matt spoke.

“Im so sorry.” Chris cried. he felt like the guiltiest man in the world. breaking the news to the mother of the love of his life. it hit him hard watching his beautiful bestfriends mother cry.

it was going to be hard for everyone. especially your mom. and he knew that. so, he was going to do what he couldn’t with you. and that was to be by her side all the time.

when the doctor came out, he informed them that you weren’t going to make it. the drugs had already gone into your bloodstream and there was so much of it that they didnt get it all out in time.

he told them one by one to go see you before it was too late. and thats how chris ended up where he is now. sitting in the chair next to you, holding your hand.

“im so fucking sorry y/n. this shit is all my fault. all because i invited you to some dumbass party.”

“i was meant to keep you safe. to protect you at all time. to be by your side at all times, no matter what. i couldn’t even keep that promise. i failed you, and your mother. she’s mad at us, and she has every right to be. but i promise, to look after her now that you can’t.” He cried.

“i dont know how i could’ve let this happen. if only they had told me so i could’ve been there with you. then, that man on top of you. i feel like throwing up even talking about it.”

“i just wish i could’ve done more you know?”

“i love you y/n. i always have since middle school. i never told you because i didn’t think you felt the same way even though everyone told you did. i never believed them because i thought you were out of my league. now, i wish i would’ve asked you sooner.” He cried, looking at you with red puffy eyes.

thats when he heard it. the heart monitor going off. he looked up to see it go flat.

doctors flooding in the room, asking him to step out. he could hear all the commotion going on.

they tried over and over again to use an internal defibrillator to shock you back to life. but, it didnt work. nothing did.

“time of death?”

“3:47 am”

Chris visited your grave everyday after that. he told you all the stories that happened everyday. let you know all the gossip. he told you everything.

“Hey sweet girl. i brought you your favorite flowers.” Chris smiled, placing them ontop of your grave stone.

hibiscus flowers were your favorite. especially pink ones. you told him that once when you went to a flower garden, and ever since then hes kept that in mind. it was his favorite moment you two shared.

they way your green eyes glistened in the morning sunshine, or the way you looked with no makeup on in the sun. skin glowing.

he always thought you were the most lovely, enchanting, and graceful woman ever. never once did he think any different.

you were his bestfriend, his side kick, his everything.

“Soooo…me, nick and chris uploaded a new video today, and someone asked about you. it made me cry but, happy tears. they asked what our favorite memory about you was, and i told them about the flower garden.”

“God, you looked gorgeous that day. the way the sun made you glow. i wanted to kiss you so bad. i just never got the courage to do it.” He chuckled. to him, you looked like aphrodite. there was no one else more beautiful than you to him.

He liked you because you saw him for more than just an influencer on youtube with six million subscribers. You saw him as a person with great personality. and he saw you for someone with a better personality than he had.

you were always so kind, no matter what. it didn’t matter if they did you wrong in anyway, you were always kind. you told always told him, “Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness of people.”

you were a great person and he knew that. even on your bad days when you felt like nothing, you’d always put anyone else before you. you wanted to make them feel loved. and you always did.

“I wish you were still here. Im looking after your mom, and she misses you tons. She cant stand to come and visit your grave, so she picks your favorite flowers, and tells me to being them to you. i promise i pick them too. it never left my mind that hibiscus flowers were your favorite. ever since you told me at the flower garden.”

“I hope your doing great up there. Being kind like always, i hope. I know that you always wanted to get matching tattoos together but, you’re not here anymore. So, i got your name and your birthday tattoed on my forearm. So, did everyone else.” He spoke, tears starting to swell up in his eyes.

“I dont know why im crying, but im hoping its happy tears.” He laughed. “i miss you like crazy. i get nightmares sometimes thinking about that night. how i could’ve prevented all of it from happening. Sometimes, i cant even sleep in my own room knowing that youre gone. so im in yours all the time. i hope you dony mind since i know how tidy you liked it.”

“Nick, Matt, and I go to your favorite restaurant every once a week now. Where we first met in 5th grade. We talk about you all the time. oh, also your mom put an ofrenda in our living room. so we can put all your little trinkets and stuff on it. we even have your graduation picture from four years ago.”

“I dont know what im doing y/n. i miss hearing your voice, i miss coming to you for advice. i feel so alone now. yeah, i have my brothers but you were my bestfriend. the love of my life. my favorite person in existence. now, i dont have one.” Chris cried, letting the tears fall down his face, looking down at his hands while he picked at his nails.

He genuinely didnt know what to do. He was so lost. He wished he had the right words; he just wanted you to know that he missed you like crazy. waking up everyday without you jumping on his bed was hard for him. most of the time he didn’t want to get up. He just wanted to rot in your bed all day. but, he knew that you would want him to live his best life in anyway he could.

It was hard on everyone. but, they were all there for eachother. Holidays were different, birthdays, celebrations, everything was.

“I’m so lost without you.”

He hoped that you were looking down at him proudly, even on his worst days because he was pushing through. He pushed through for you.

[didyoulookforme]

❛ i need to come. please, i'll do anything. ❜

With post Matty 🤭

-Sugar-coat-it <3 <3 <3

here is the first of the blurbs. more to come!

smutty non-sensical ramble below. sorry for any spelling and grammar errors.

having your boyfriend be in a band meant that he’d go on tour from time to time. you were used to it by now. it came with dating a musician. however, you weren’t used to the one condition he gave you before leaving that night.

“just don’t touch yourself while i’m away, alright sweet?”

you remember the way matty licked and bit his bottom lip right after those words left his mouth, giving you a kiss before closing the door and departing for nearly a month.

um, okay…

-----

now, fast forward to the end of may, 27 days and 645 hours later and minutes prior to hopping onstage for his last gig, he has you pinned against the brick wall of the alleyway next door, satin dress bunched up at your hips, and his dick buried deep between your legs, giving you exactly what you had missed the most.

had the waiting been hard? definitely. had it been worth it? absolutely. the sensation when he first touched your clit again made you shudder from head to toe, itself almost enough to make you come right then and there. you had to wait, though. you need him to fuck you senseless to make up for the restless mornings spent with clenched, sore thighs. it’s your screwed up version of heaven at this point in time.

you notice the lipstick smeared across his mouth, its cool red tint near identical to that of his swollen lips and almost too damn perfect to touch. but you can't help yourself. you drag your right thumb across his bottom lip, tugging at it until the colour spreads across his cheek, that familiar glint in his eye letting you know that it absolutely drove him mad, as well.

“baby,” he pulls your hair in need of attention, “you feel so damn good right now.”

that certainly doesn't help with your crippling need to come, but fuck, you swear you’ve never seen him so eager to please, holding on to your waist like his life depends on it as he shamelessly buries himself into you. it's all too much.

“i need to come. please, i'll do anything.”

you didn’t mind begging anymore. he got off on it, anyway.

“just be my good girl and hold on a bit longer, ‘kay?”

the small whimpers from your lips only make him tease you more, swiping his tongue across your flushed cheek and followed by thousands of kisses peppered on your face.

“matty, please. it’s been so lon–ah fuck fuck.”

yet he still somehow finds the strength to thrust harder despite your pleas.

“jus–just a bit more. you can do it sweet girl. i know you can hold off for me.”

he laughs at your mumbling mix of groans and moans against his neck, seemingly too fucked out to lift your head upright anymore. there’s a clear wet spot on the collar of his shirt from the spit falling from your mouth but you honestly couldn’t care less at this moment. all that’s on your mind is the feeling of him rutting inside you, hitting that spot that he never fails to find. thank fucking god.

”y’know, sweet?”

it takes all of your concentration to breathe out a pathetic ‘yes'.

“i-i didn’t touch myself either,” he admits against your ear, fingers softly combing through your hair, “while i was gone.”

your boyfriend abstaining from jerking off? no. fucking. way.

“i can play nice, too.”

you are gone.

your hips frantically grind against your control. those imaginary white speckles form inside your eyelids from holding them shut so tight. the pulsing pressure between your legs enough to make him fall apart and take him along to that special place where only the two of your exist.

matty matty matty.

his fingernails digging into your skin. his whimpers heavy against your lips. the warmth of his cum spilling inside you. it was all him.

"oh my fucking god, darling. sh–shit."

you chuckle at the way your body trembles against his, pretty sure that if he wasn’t there you’d fall flat on your face. but it seems like he isn’t faring much better, his own limbs shaking underneath him as his own orgasm lingers on, a mess of curls mindlessly burying into your chest.

and once he slips out, you instantly feel his cum drip down your leg, something he’s obviously aware of as he keeps mumbling apology after apology between sweet, breathy laughs.

“you’re so not fucking sorry, matthew.”

“mmm. know me all too well, darling.”

that you did and you were forever thankful for it, however it doesn’t stop you from playfully shoving him away, only for him to immediately come back and kiss you for the millionth time that night. yeah, you definitely missed having his so close.

you lift up your dress to see your thighs covered in his cum, strings of it slowly falling down your skin. "um... not really sure what to do about this now."

“can always give you more if you want.”

“you fucking wish,” (honestly you did, too.)

to your surprise he takes off his shirt, kneeling down and dragging the dark fabric to wipe your skin clean, not stopping from licking some of it himself.

“there.” he looks you up and down, “think that’s a bit better, sweet.”

and you know that him using his favourite mazzy star shirt was his own strange matty way to say ‘i love you.’

[raccoonfallsharder]

There’s been a few rumours that the Russos (and one of the writers from Infinity War/Endgame) may be coming back for Avengers 5/6! I’m curious about what those movies will be like, because they’re going to be even MORE crowded with a gazillion characters. 😅

And particularly, I wonder what the role of the Guardians is even gonna be in them… or at least Star-Lord, if no one actually has any plans to bring them back — which seems to be the most likely outcome. Personally, I wouldn’t actually mind too much if the new Guardians were brought back to join the final battle or something like that. It might be nice as a last hurrah for Rocket, maybe!

But what do you think? I know your opinions on those movies, so… I know what you have to say will be very interesting. 😁

oooooh boy. this just unlocked a whole bunch of competing thoughts in my head. i hope i can make sense of them enough to type them up.

here's the thing. i don't trust the russos or the IW/E writers but i am a person who (1) believes that people can grow and become better at damn near anything they want to, and (2) i am happy to be wrong. maybe the russos and whichever writer who is coming on board will have taken good lessons from the last five years since endgame (five years holy shit) and they'll come out stronger, better, more respectful storytellers. maybe they'll listen to other, better, more respectful storytellers on the team. hell, maybe disney will even let them be better (disney properties seem to be at their best when the mouse is least invested in controlling its indentured creatives). and of course, quality and effective storytelling won't only be on the shoulders of the russos et al. it will also be on the people who are working on the adjacent, intervening movies, and whether they are capable of and permitted to create compelling narratives and fully-developed characters along the way.

now, another thing i think will be tricky is if they choose to do another massive ensemble-battle (like the final endgame fight). i'm just not sure almost anything they can do will be actually satisfying to anyone who identifies with the characters who aren't the main focus. the reason that so-called "girl-power" moment in endgame was so fucken dissatisfying for so many of us was because it was unearned. condescending. you can't choose to feature so few of these women in the course of the whole movie, kill the only one of them with more than like three lines, and then throw every woman left alive into thirty seconds of battle choreography and think that your target-audience will see that as anything but patronizing. if the russos go for that level of sprawling battle-pageantry, that's what will happen, on some level. we just can't pay attention to every character the way they truly deserve when the cast is that massive.

and... i imagine this is exactly how the guardians would feature, if they aren't picked up by anyone in the meantime: one second of screentime in the background of a big fight, maybe with rocket's signature word as his new team advances to ultimately be lost in the ranks. or a singular star-lord, fighting on the side of the new avengers.

now, i'll let you in on a little and possibly controversial secret: i don't need more of rocket in the mcu. i think the mcu might fuck up a beautiful story. if they were to bring him back - unless it were a complete alternate timeline like a new cartoon - i almost think it would need to be a wholly different genre. here are the best ways i think disney could bring "mcu" rocket back:

fuck copaganda but brooklyn-99 had a distinctly guardians vibe in terms of a bunch of well-meaning dysfunctional idiots coming together under extremely exhausted but HIGHLY effective leadership. we could take this ride through space in a star-trek-esque adventure-of-the-week approach or base it in knowhere so we can really see what it looks like to be a guardian in that community, and meet some of the characters like xlomo smeth, ssssaralami, hoobtoe, the broker, HOWARD, etc.

mst3k but it's like, movie night on knowhere. they project some disney movie on the side of one of the bone-buildings and rocket and groot are always making commentary. but they're not the only ones. nebula's there, and for kid-appropriate movies drax and the kids are too. sometimes howard comes along and he and rocket get drunk and compete to be the harshest critic. adam tries to crack jokes sometimes but he's bad at it.

nebula and rocket during the snap. IN SPACE. mostly. i'll accept occasional visits to terra check in on thor. i suspect we see a lot of kraglin on the third quadrant and maybe spend some time helping with reconstruction in knowhere.

a super-ironic self-aware parody of some old sitcom like full house. i'm open to rocket being the father-figure and the new guardians being the chaotic fam, but i'd also be open to it focusing on the star children, calling it "drax the dad," and having rocket be the uncle-jesse-character. which brings me to my last option, which is

actually center the show around a singular someone else, like adam or phylla, and have rocket occasionally make an appearance as an important background character: a father-figure, a mentor, a captain, a guide, a beloved pain-in-the-ass. occasional conversations over the comms where he's like "are you eating enough? are you cleaning your cannons like i taught you? you still closing your eyes when you squeeze the trigger 'cause i told you to stop fuckin doing that. when are you coming home? nebula misses you and your brother is driving me fuckin crazy"

i do think there are other things that good writers could make work but these are the ones my heart rests on because i just don't trust disney/marvel very easily these days

WHICH IS ALL TO SAY

of course i'm gonna watch whatever disney/marvel puts out into theatres and/or on disney+, especially if the guardians are in it. and especially if my guy is in it.

but i'm also fully expecting to have my heart broken. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

as i said, i'm a person who is happy to be wrong.

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

high infidelity | two

Put on your records and regret meeting me, I bent the truth too far tonight I was dancing around it *Noah’s POV* Damn, this girl was something else. I won’t ever admit it but I saw her and her friends before I even went on stage. During the show I was looking for my in-ears backstage and I saw her from the corner of my eye with her friends. I had to chuckle watching them dance around and sing every word during Dayseeker’s set. She stuck out amongst her friends though, her long jet black hair, bright red lips and golden skin really caught my attention…she had this glow about her that I couldn’t describe. When we came onto the stage I found her immediately and had a hard time keeping my eyes off her. Every time I walked past her, I kept noticing new things about her. She had a rose tattoo on her sternum, Roman numerals down the side of her neck and a full sleeve of butterflies and peonies on her right arm. I even made a conscious effort to sit near her during Who are you? and as soon as I saw her bright green eyes flash at me, it was game over. I knew I needed to meet her. Then I met her without even trying.

You can’t tell me that wasn’t fate even though it was super embarrassing she found me in the women’s bathroom. I thought I was in the clear since it was just my band and crew backstage but that was a terrible calculation. Also have you shared a bathroom with a bunch of other dudes? Sometimes you just need your own space and the women’s bathroom had a bigger shower. 

She really did have to use the bathroom so I gave her some privacy but I waited outside in the hall for her. Her scent of salted caramel and vanilla lingered under my nose and I couldn’t get enough. The guys and I were going to head to a brewery after the show and since Seattle wasn’t far we planned to travel there in the morning instead of overnight. This was our first time in Vancouver so we wanted to make the best of it. 

I texted our photographer Bryan about her before putting my phone back in my pocket. He was surprised at my actions considering that I never entertained women on the road, let alone a fan. Something was telling me she was different. I heard the hand dryer going in the bathroom before she opened the door. Her eyes widened as she saw me standing there. “So do you just hang out inside and outside women’s bathrooms?” “Yeah, I was told if I got caught again it would be my third strike.” She laughed and had a huge smile on her face. Fuck, even her smile was gorgeous. She flashed me her green eyes again and I could’ve melted at her feet. God what was she doing to me���

“Sorry, I hope this isn’t too forward, but me and the guys are heading to this brewery down the road. Do you want to come?” “Sure. I’ll just text my friends, they’re back here somewhere.” She replies as she pulls her phone out. I catch myself watching her every move. Her nails were painted a dark maroon and she had the hidden leaf village symbol from Naruto tattooed on her thumb. I smirked, not what I was expecting us to have in common. “I just realized I never caught your name.” I managed to get out. Her eyes find mine and suddenly I’m putty in her hands. “Elliot, but you can call me El.” Why was that suddenly the most beautiful name I have ever heard? *Elliots POV* 

Before I knew it we were all sitting at a large table at this cozy brewery having drinks with Bad Omens and their crew. My brain couldn’t process what was going on at all. The boys seemed to have picked one of my friends to talk to and we were hitting it off really well. Noah went up to order some beers for us, I offered him my credit card but he said this round was on him. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him as he walked back to me. “I really couldn’t decide what to get so I got some of those beer flight things to try everything.” He smirked as he sat beside me. His leg brushed against mine and blood rushed to my cheeks again. “That works for me.” I shrugged. “Everything here is really good.” Noah crosses his arms on the table and brings his gaze to me. Those beautiful brown eyes were causing me to go into a spiral. The brewery was so loud but damn, when he looked at me it got quiet. He had a way of making you feel like you were the only one in the room. I was trying so damn hard to not get caught up in it because I didn’t know who he really was. For all I know he could do this every night when he was on tour. I also wanted to live in the delusion that I was the first girl he ever asked out after a show. Get a grip, Elliot. “Do you come here much?” He asked breaking the silence and snapping me back into reality. “I’ve been here a few times, but there’s just so much to choose from living here.” “Do you have a favourite?” “Yeah I do. There’s actually a bar in my neighbourhood I go to a lot. It’s actually a wine bar where they make their own wines, they have the comfiest couches and the best charcuterie boards.” “Sounds like my kind of place.”

Our drinks come to the table and he immediately wrapped his hands around the darkest beer we got. I grabbed one of the lighter looking beers and look a sip of it before we swapped to try each others. Both of our faces scrunched up in disgust before we immediately switched glasses again. I studied the tattoos on his hands as he grabbed the cold glass from me, noticing the heart he had on one of his fingers. I forgot what we were talking about…

“I really like Vancouver so far.” He continued. “It’s like Seattle but the people are way nicer.” “Canada is definitely the superior country.” I chuckled.

He raised his eyebrow at me before moving onto the next beer, “Well, I am looking for a new home base.”

“Not loving California anymore?” “It’s not that I don’t like it…” He pauses to take a sip of his beer. “I’ve always wanted to live in the Pacific northwest area. The weather is more to my liking and people seem to leave us alone. I really like my privacy and people in LA are starting to recognize us more and more. I know it comes with the territory but after quarantine I realized how important it is to have a home base where you can be yourself.” “I get that.” I replied. “Every one deserves to have a safe space to come home to every night.” “Do you have that?”

“I’m working on it.” I muttered, knowing my home life was in absolute shambles. The more drinks we had the more comfortable we got with each other, not like we needed that much liquid courage though. We talked like old lovers picking up where we left off and I admired how respectful he was being towards me. I put my hand over his by accident but he didn’t seem to mind, he just squeezed my hand with a Cheshire Cat smile on his face. I noticed he had the same Naruto tattoo on his hand that I had and we ended up having a long conversation about the anime. We oddly seemed to have the same opinions on it and he showed me a photo of his thigh tattoo of Itachi he recently got. A few moments later I excused myself to the bathroom to gain my composure. I pulled out my phone and found my lawyers number. It was time. “I’m ready.” “Come see me tomorrow…I’m so proud of you for finally doing this, Ellie.” I took a few more breaths before walking back towards our table. I sat beside Noah and his cheeks were getting rosy, it was beyond adorable. His hand grazed over my thighs as he reached for my hand again. Euphoria filled my body and didn’t want it to stop, I didn’t want him to stop touching me. “Do you want to get out of here?” Noah whispered in my ear. “Wow you move fast.” I joked as I pushed his hair out of his face, almost pouting because his hair was so much shorter now. Still, it gave him a Disney prince kind of vibe that I adored. “Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just wondering if you wanted to go for a walk or go somewhere more quiet.”

“A walk at this time of night? Are you going to murder me, Noah?” “Oh god no - I was - I -um-“ He was stuttering over his words and I couldn’t help but laugh. He was getting more embarrassed and covered his face with his hands. “I’m kidding Noah.” I reassured him by moving his hands away from his face, “there’s another bar I like we can go to. It’s attached to the Hyatt down the street.” “That’s our hotel.” He smirked before finishing off his beer. We got up from the table and said our goodbyes to our friends. Danielle shot me a look and I just shrugged my shoulders at her cause I had no idea what I was doing. We got outside and started to walk towards his hotel slowly, we didn’t say much but he reached for my hand and I grabbed his with no hesitation. After seeing his bands reaction to us leaving together, it definitely told me he didn’t do this very often. This started to feel genuine and I knew I had to tell him the truth. Noah’s POV She was such a calculated risk and I knew that. Honestly, I wasn’t really one to find a girl at our show and try to take her home. Most of the guys would invite some of our female fans to chill with us but I wasn’t interested. All these girls just wanted to be with us because of who we were. Sure, Elliot knew who we were but after spending time with her she made me feel like she saw past the bullshit and saw me as just Noah. She stopped halfway up the stairs to our hotel and her energy had shifted as she dropped my hand. Her green eyes deepened as she looked up at me, causing my heart dropped into my stomach. “Noah, I need to tell you something.”  “You can tell me anything.” I partially lied because I didn’t want to know what was next. “I’m in the process of getting divorced.” She bit her lip and looked down at her feet. “I wanted to tell you sooner but...” Go figure, the first women I’ve fallen for in years was still married. “What?” I could feel my voice trembling. I looked at her and I see tears forming in her eyes. I knew this wasn’t an easy thing for her to tell me, but I couldn’t fight off the anger that was boiling inside of me. “So you wanted to see where this was gonna go before dropping a bomb like that? “Noah…Please.” A few tears fell down her face as she looked at me. “Can you blame me? You’re in a fucking band! How the fuck was I supposed to know you don’t take a girl home every night?” “So this is my fucking fault then? You assumed I just fuck my way though my tours?” “NO!” She yelled at me causing a few people to look at us. “No…” She repeated, this time in a whisper. I could feel my own tears forming as I felt myself losing her before I even had her. She looked in the opposite direction of me and I could see her mascara starting to run down her face. I wanted to desperately wipe it away but my heart was telling me to walk away and forget about her. I swore off love years ago and I should’ve kept it that way. “Good night Elliot.”

[ceedaryaps]

Final Gambit Yap session

Soooo I finished the final gambit the third book in the Hawthorn Legacy series. I'm not gonna lie my main thought for each chapter was "Gray don't piss me off."

Overall this third book kind of fell off for me??? Like first book was okay, and I really liked the second book, but this book I really feel like they were trying to shove so many twists and turns in such a small timeframe that we really didn't even have time to sit down and be like, "Shit Tobey is in trouble," "Shit Eve shouldn't be trusted." I just personally feel like the pace moved sooo fast.

On top of that idk how I feel about the characters in this book. I actually finally warmed up to Avery in this third book bc homegirl was finally standing on business. She really tried to clock Eve and I love that for her bc WE ALL KNEW THAT GIRL WAS WEIRD LETS BE FR. I'm glad jameson stood beside her to but GRAY.

Dont pisss me awf.

The way that Gray switched up on Avery sooooo quick just bc Eve looked like Emily pissed me off. I fully understand that this is a sore spot for Gray but he has been going on and on about him being the heir and him needing to compose himself but as soon as Eve came in that mf turned into a brainless idiot. Bro was so mad at Avery for being suspicious of her he failed to see how obviously weird she was. Tobey didn't want her there for a reason, she asked specific questions for a reason SHE LEGIT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. Like Gray USE YOUR BRIAN USE YOUR BRAIN USE IT THAT THING IN YOUR HEAD! Like she couldnt be more obvious but Gray was like "Looks like Emily close enough." I knew Gray was cooked when he called her Evie rhyming with Emily. idk i feel like Gray is one more Emily look-alike away from turning into Rebecca mom.

Can we also talk about how they just brushed past the fact that Xander's dad actually WANTED him and wanted to fight for custody of him. Skye and Tobias Hawthorn if you have no haters i am dead. For most of the boys dads not wanting to be in their lives and this man WANTED his son. I wish we could have seen more of what the both of them are feeling. Imagine seeing your son/dad for the first time and they want to be with you.

When I got to the ending I really wasn't surprised to find out why Avery was picked to inherit everything. It's just like a rich person to pick a random citizen to take the fire. Tobias really gave the fortune to Avery so his sons wouldn't have to deal with his mistakes which I can understand people are like "Aw he cared about his grandsons" and he also fucked over a bunch of people and damn near sentenced Avery to death just bc she was smart. bro really said "My bad I did this bc id rather you die than them sawry but hey you made it this far!" I would have been pissed if I was her.

So I dooo have the spin-off book The Brothers Hawthorn but imma take a break from that series and start something new. I'm currently reading Hooked, yeah that one book from Booktok. But in the next few days, ill post about season 1&2 of Bridgerton and queen charlotte so look out for those!

[randomvarious]

1980s Power Pop Playlist

Folks, we've got a brand new tune that kicks off this playlist now, and its own title might as well be the four-word credo that really essentializes the power pop genre as a whole: "Fuck Art Let's Dance," by a British band called The Name.

Sometimes you really just gotta stop taking all of this music stuff so damn seriously all the time and come to appreciate the mass-appealing pleasures of tried and true simplicity. British Invasion bands like The Beatles and The Who may have made significant artistic progress since their earlier works, but that was no reason to leave the vibe of that early stuff behind. What's already been done is no longer fresh, but some of the formulas that were used back in those early-to-mid-60s days were proven to have been pretty golden, and a late 70s-to-mid-80s crop of rockers who had grown up with those early British Invasion records on their radios had their hearts set on bringing it all back to the fore. So, fuck art, let's dance!

While this little playlist once had a combination of songs that were mostly from the indie stalwart Bomp! Records branch of American power pop and mid-to-late 80s stuff from the C86-UK indie/twee pop label Subway Organisation, it now adds a bunch of tunes that preceded that British indie pop wave too, from a pretty big subculture called mod revival. Helmed by The Jam, who used the same iconic blue, white, and red 'target' as The Who for their own band logo, mod revival was an insular scene that really took off after The Who's Quadrophenia movie came out in 1979, instilling in UK teenagers and twenty-somethings a deep desire to emulate the Vespa-riding lifestyle that the film itself had depicted. Essentially, mod revival mixed a new wave and punk rock sound with the 60s mod sound of yesteryear, but if we're going to generalize it, it was really, for the most part, a regionally specific variant of power pop.

So in addition to "Fuck Art Let's Dance," a catchy-as-shit song with only a little over 10,000 plays, we've got another couple mod revival bops too, like the soft, dreamy, and keyboard-infused "One Step Ahead" by a band called The Stripes, which only has a little over 6.2K plays. And I added a couple other tunes from Bomp! and Subway Organisation too, with "I'll Get Lucky" by SoCal power pop heroes The Plimsouls, which has 39.3K plays, and the much more obscure "Do It Again" by Clockwork Orange-referencing UK band Korova Milk Bar, which only has a little over 6.2K plays.

The Name - "Fuck Art Let's Dance" Deadbeats - "Choose You" The Plimsouls - "I'll Get Lucky" The Stripes - "One Step Ahead" Small World - "First Impressions" Korova Milk Bar - "Do It Again"

And then for the YouTube version of this playlist, I was able to add all the songs that were added to the Spotify one too, plus a handful of some more mod revival tunes that aren't on Spotify at all. And I don't think that I have a total favorite among this YouTube-only set, but The Scene's super bouncy "Hey Girl" is so irresistibly catchy and deliberately simple, from both musical and lyrical standpoints, that it almost sounds like it could be from the 60s itself, which I don't think can be said about any other song in this playlist. Really seems like these guys took the term 'mod revival' quite literally with this record of theirs, and for those who might be keeping track, this is The Scene who hailed from Bradford in West Yorkshire, and not the other UK mod revival band called The Scene who were from East London 😅. "Hey Girl" is nearing 27.7K plays.

Also added a tune from The Groove Farm, a band that was on Subway Organisation, and whose "Crazy Day Sunshine Girl" is criminally short, but makes its 45 seconds really count. And that one's only got 53 plays as of right now!

The Reputations - "I Believe You" The Scene - "Hey Girl" The Clues - "No Vacancies" The Groove Farm - "Crazy Day Sunshine Girl"

And this playlist is also on YouTube Music.

So with this update, our Spotify playlist is now at 19 songs that clock in at over 55 minutes, but over on YouTube we've got 30 songs that clock in at 85 minutes. So if you want an extra half-hour of power pop-type tunes from the American-centric Bomp!, the UK's mod revival scene, and UK label Subway Organisation, you better check out that YouTube one!

And here's the list of compilations that were used to put this whole thing together:

100% British Mod (1998, Captain Mod) Destination Bomp! (1995, Bomp! Records) The Roots of Powerpop (1996, Bomp! Records) Battle of the Garages: Part 1 (1994, Voxx Records) Whole Wide World, Volume 2 (1994, Subway Organisation) Take the Subway to Your Suburb (1994, Subway Organisation) Burns From the Valley of the Sun (1991, Frontier Records)

Next week we'll be getting a little bit deeper into mod revival ✌.

Enjoy!

More to come, eventually. Stay tuned!

Like what you hear? Follow me on Spotify and YouTube for more cool playlists and uploads!

[pacing-er]

The audacity that 20-30 year old non-Jews have when speaking on Judaism is fucking insane. I was sitting in the break room at work and my friend (?idk anymore) and the two vocally anti Israel girls were talking about what the "goal" of Judaism is. My friend is Catholic and knows a lot about a bunch of religions, and she said that the Jews strive to reestablish the nation of Israel. Upon seeing the girls grimace she corrected herself saying "Not like THAT..." which is already kinda fucked up. Then one of the girls went on to say "Don't Jews wait for the Messiah ☝️🤓" and my friend responded "yes, some Orthodox Jews do." These (white, American) girls then have the audacity to make the claim "Oh yeah, Orthodox Jews just want the Messiah they don't want a state. That's why they're the ones on the street protesting." Which like yes I'm sure that's true for some small sects of Orthodox Jews but I know damn well that you didn't mean it that way. You wanted to make the assertion that orthodox (real, good) Jews don't support Israel, that only fake (bad) Jews think that Israel should exist. They went on like that dictating what the true goal of Judaism "should" or "shouldn't" be, all the while sitting near me. Y'know. The only Jewish girl at our workplace who maybe... Just maybe... Has an opinion on the religion that I practice. But this was never about listening to Jews right? What's the fun in that when they can just intrude on intercommunity debates and make up their own meaning based on the few tidbits of information that they managed to pick up from social media?

I recently found out that one of the nice older male coworkers of mine was also Jewish and he's been so supportive of my interest in Judaism. He gave me a beautiful Torah as a gift to encourage my studies. He walked into the room as they were saying "MOST Jews don't see the state of Israel as legitimate" and he was like "Most Jews huh..." Of course now that the only Jew that they know (bc apparently they don't respect me enough to ask) was around they switched up and were like "Oh yeah (name) we shouldn't be the ones educating ourselves on Judaism! You should teach us about it." Which of course translates to "we are going to accept your opinion as a Jewish man only if you agree with us and if you don't we are gonna talk shit about you behind your back" so he just said "Nope! You don't want to know my opinion." Then one of them was like "Oh no I wanna know your opinion 🥺" in a sickly sweet voice and he just didn't respond and shut himself into the room he always hides in during lunch breaks lol I understand why now.

Tldr: If you're not Jewish DON'T make claims that the modern state of Israel is not legitimate to the Jewish religion. You don't get to say that. Also before anyone is like "but Palestine 🥺" this is not about whether or not the actions of Israel's government is okay. This is about non Jews constantly trying to speak over a global minority in discussions that should be kept within the Jewish community. Don't try to use your outsider understanding of the Jewish religion to justify your stance on the war. It is unbelievably ignorant and makes you look like a complete ass. You can and should criticize the Israeli government but I'm fucking begging you to stop overstepping boundaries like this.

[dracofeathers]

I Am Only Going to Say This Once

NOTE: I do not intend to post these sorts of things often, but this especially pissed me off today and this needs to be said. This is a more political post I suppose, so if you do not want to be involved with such topics, please move on. But this is an important topic and I implore you to at least take a quick read, especially for women in the US. Even if not from the US, this can still be a very real danger to other women in other countries.

With that out of the way, let's spread a little education, shall we?

"The ovaries are two small organs, about the size of your thumb, that are located in the female pelvis. They are attached to the uterus, one on each side, near the opening of the fallopian tube. The ovaries contain the female gamete cell, called the oocyte. In non medical terms, the oocyte is called the “egg”.

The ovaries are filled with follicles. Follicles are fluid-filled structures in which the oocyte (also called egg) grows to maturity. Current knowledge indicates that females are born with their entire lifetime supply of gametes. At birth, the normal female ovary contains about 1-2 million/oocytes (eggs). Females are not capable of making new eggs, and in fact, there is a continuous decline in the total number of eggs each month. By the time a girl enters puberty, only about 25% of her lifetime total egg pool remains, around 300,000. Over the next 30-40 years of a female's reproductive life, the entire egg supply will be depleted. Although no one can know with absolute certainty the number of eggs remaining within the ovaries at any given time, most women begin to experience a significant decrease in fertility (the ability to conceive a child) around the age of 37. At the time of menopause, virtually no eggs remain.

The large supplies of eggs within each ovary are immature, or primordial, and must undergo growth and maturation each month. The eggs are stored within follicles in the ovary. Within a woman's lifespan, large numbers of follicles and oocytes will be recruited to begin the growth and maturation process. The large majority, however, will not reach full maturity. Most will die off in a process called atresia. Thus, only about 300-500 of these eggs will mature over a women's life span."

Source: Rogel Cancer Center - University of Michigan

(https://www.rogelcancercenter.org/fertility-preservation/for-female-patients/normal-ovarian-function)

Also:

"Women are born with approximately two million eggs in their ovaries, but about eleven thousand of them die every month prior to puberty."

Source: Infertility Center of St. Louis (https://www.infertile.com/infertility-101/female-infertility/beating-biological/)

------------------------------

But "eggs are people".

Uh-huh...

Going by that logic, EVERY WOMAN EVER WOULD BE A MURDERER A MILLION TIMES OVER, YOU DUMB FUCKERS.

Fuck all you who think this way.

Mind your own damn business and leave your backwards, neanderthal level intelligence bullshit between your own cult members, thank you. Its people like you that make me hate Christianity and religion in general. Bunch of hateful fakers. (and yes I know not all Christians are horrible. Just most)

Please block me if you believe eggs are people. Go educate yourself and leave women alone to do what they want with their own bodies.

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

Hah, I had to drive out and grab a box of pasta to cook since grain moths ate all my others again. Anyway!!

On the drive home, I thought she was gone. LONG gone. But I swear, I saw my old neighbor and uhh... "friend" whom I haven't seen since... 15 years ago? Yeah about then. She was a garbage asshole.

I was so close to this girl for years, we talked on the phone every day for at least an hour or two, and we hung out whenever we could, and we shared all our secrets with each other.

But that "friend" kept saying I was too masculine a girl, that no guys would want a girl stronger than they are. I'd have to give up MMA and videogames and all around be more feminine if I wanted guys. And she tried SO DAMN HARD to convince me to give up being masculine as fuck.

She once asked about what boys I liked. I told her about the boys I was interested in, and she noticed they were all "outcasts". Not the popular kids. Not one guy on my radar was in the popular crowd. She wanted exclusively popular boys, and said I should also be seeking to gain the attention of popular boys instead of outcasts, because everyone should want to be popular!!

Mind you the popular kids are the reason I wound up in therapy with PTSD all these years later.

We had our second ever sleepover one night, and the next morning I went to make her chocolate chip pancakes! On my own!! She didn't even ask!!

But they weren't good enough and so she called me the next day and said she didn't want to be friends anymore because I made bad pancakes. She blocked my number, and in school, since we attended the same school together, she would literally cover herself in a hood and duck into crowds to avoid seeing me or my mother who worked the kitchen there.

Even her own father couldn't figure out why she was acting as she was. He tried to figure it out, and he was a great guy, but his daughter HATES him to this day for literally no reason. She didn't even call him dad, she used his first name to refer to him, even when talking directly to him.

I haven't seen this girl, heard from her, etc. in 15 years at least. I thought she moved away.

But I saw her tonight on my way home, and I laughed. Because I am nothing she wanted me to be. At all.

And her? She looked MISERABLE!!!!!

I'm the gayest manliest dudebro ever, and I love men. And well... men love me, too. But they don't love a miserable sexist sod.

And yeah, my life is far from beautiful. It's nowhere near perfect. But at least I'm living as my original and authentic self, not a carbon copy of what a bunch of asshats deem is worthy of recognition and praise just so I can gain their false favor and be at their whims as a literal puppet that spews hate and disdain for anyone different.

For frame of reference, those same popular kids told an actual legitimate long time friend of mine, word for word, "You have to leave <deadname> if you want to be popular." That friend wouldn't do it. She turned down popularity and stuck by me through and through until graduation.

Those same popular kids jumped me, ganged up on me, and threw food at me several times a week every week every year until we graduated. Even outside of school, I could not leave my house because they literally waited in the trees to spew swears at me from above and throw acorns and bark and stones.

Toward the last two weeks before graduating, I legally changed my name for transition purposes. I had deleted everyone I knew off all social media unless they were a close friend, and changed my media name as well, and nobody but 1 person has found me since in the following 6 years.

None of them know where I'm at, where I live, what my name is, they most likely cannot and will not find me. And that's how I like it.

Leave me dead to the fuckers who hurt me. I was dead to them before I changed my name, and what difference does it make that I killed the girl they knew and became the man I am today? I'm me, I'm an author who writes queer fiction mainly about men like myself, who all find the men of their dreams and they kiss, and it's great. I've got two books published in print paperback currently, and a bunch more in the works! And best of all is I've currently got another trans guy, also super masculine, who likes me and we've been talking!! And the feelings he's got for me are pretty mutual!!

Dudes love other dudes that are confident and capable and authentic. They don't like carbon copies of a damsel in distress that can't think or act for herself because she's so worried about losing the favor of the ruling populous.

Fuck the majority, and fuck what anyone else thinks of me. I'm gonna fuck a gay man and snuggle him as we make out dirty while giving the mental middle finger to all those who told us we weren't enough.

[mikaya-hi]

Snakes (Class 1A)

"WHO THE HELL WENT INTO MY ROOM." I yelled running down the stairs making everyone look at me. "Ok, Calm the fuck down." Bakugou yelled from his place on the couch. Most of the Baku squad and the Deku squad had been down in the common room or at the dining table. "Thats a bit hard to do since Nessy is out." "Who is Nessy?" Mina shrieked before she and Denki swiftly climbed onto the closest thing to them, which in Denki's case was Bakugou which was definitely was scarier than whatever escaped. "Nessy is my very beautiful and very venomous albino mamba." I say as I walk closer to the couch. "Why do you even have snakes?" Hagakure asked from somewhere in the kitchen. "It's for my Quirk, I need to constantly consume venom or poison so I can use it. Thats why I tell everyone to stay out of my room because everything in there can kill you guys. Thats also why Bakugou won't let me near the kitchen." I mumble the last part. Suddenly a loud almost girlish scream could be heard from somewhere upstairs followed by a scared Mineta barreling down the stairs screeching about a huge snake in Jiro's room. 

I quickly made my way accompanied by Jiro to her room. We were searching Jiro's room for about 20 minutes before we found Nessy curled up in Jiro's bass drum. I held out my arm and Nessy quickly slithered up my arm making herself comfortable around my neck. I walked over Jiro so she could pet Nessy. Nessy was definitely a very dangerous snake, but she is one of my calmest snakes. Me and Jiro made our way back to the common room. 

"Find your damn snake?" Bakugou asked as he saw us entering. I simply answered with a "Jipp" while pointing at my neck where Nessy had curled up, half hiding in my hair. A few shrieks and squeaks could be heard, while some of the others came closer to look at Nessy. "She is a very calm snake despite her dangerous side, so if you guys want you can pet her." I said with a big smile on my face. Mina slowly made her way closer to look at Nessy, Nessy must have sensed the attention she was getting because at that point she poked her head out from my hair staring at Mina. "O yeah guys did you know pythons eats small animals, almost the size of Mineta, by wrapping its around body around their prey and suffocating it." I said making sure I said it loud enough for Mineta to hear. "It's really cool, I have a beautiful python if you guys ever want to see." Mineta rushed up the stairs and slamming his door shut, causing all the girls to start laughing. "Tho but seriously guys please stay out of my room, there is a lot in there that could kill you guys. Tho I don't have a python they aren't venomous but if they are big enough, they will eat a full-grown adult. " I said in a bit more of a serious tone earing a bunch of nods from my fellow classmates. I made my way back to my room to continue feeding my snakes.

[koffing-time]

🦐 - Weirdest Pokemon interaction you've ever had at work

The strangest battle i had at the gym involved a pair of plusle and minun. The trainers wanted to challenge the gym together and they were like, 10? So we allowed it. They absolutely WRECKED our gym.

They did not have any badges, so we went easy on them at first, but i was battling them as the third gym trainer (which is an exception as well) and even went as far as fighting with the Kalosian who is way too powerful for a 1st gymbadge challenge. She barely took a single thunder shock from minun before the plusle knocked her out.

According to the registration, these two were determined as around level 15 mind you (i do not remember the exact value). I'm still wondering how they are doing today. - Olivia

Damn Olivia your phone is giagiantic. holy shit. anyways. I also won't tell about the café, because this story is just too cute.

When i was still living with my parents and helping out at their farm, there was that time that the old Monarch Vespiquen died (from old age, nothing dramatic), and a new one had to emerge to take her place. So our current Monarch stepped up and evolved and it was a whole process.

The important part is: the Monarch Vespiquen is part Beedrill, which makes her incredibly powerful, very big and very fierce looking. So, my parents have 4 hives. each has a queen, but one of them is the "monarch", which means she coordinates not only her hive but also instructs the other queens on what to do with their hives. It's rare that such a dynamic forms, but it happens sometimes if there is an abundance of flowers and stuff in a condensed area.

So usually, whenever a new queen emerges from any hive, there is gonna be some quarrel between the established queens to see if she's worthy, ESPECIALLY if it's a new monarch. But not this time. The new hybrid-vespiquen was just... accepted. The others took a look at her and were like "yep, not gonna try anything with this girl".

So, she emerged, went on a small rampage and overthrew the old monarchs plans or something, fought of a bunch of wild ursaring trying to get the honey and shit like that. We all thought nothing in the world could stop her. We weren't even sure if we could get to the hives while she was reigning, because she was also a little bit wary of us and chased us away. Like, yeah sure, adjustment period and all that, but you never know with hybrids.

And then, like a month later it's the peak of summer, and there's a fucking thunderstorm. And i'm just there, sleeping in my bed, and suddenly, i wake up and hear something banging against my window. There's no trees near the house, if something like that happens, it HAS to be a pokémon. And yes, it was. Exodia, our Golurk, was trying to get my attention. I open the window, and it holds its hands to the window, and in there sits the most WET SOBBING NOODLE of a Vespiquen you've ever seen. The monarch. She's absolutely fucking terrified of the thunderstorm. The same girl who was accepted as the chosen one by 3 other vespiquen. The same girl who fought off 4 grown ass Ursaring just DAYS after she evolved. And she came to me to help her calm down. She spent the night with me and then returned home after the storm calmed down as if nothing ever happened.

[solarsavoy]

Everything for Krystar, here we go! 😁

🪩—Would you want a movie adaption, TV, or something else? Animated or live action?

Definitely an anime! No live action. No. Will not approve. Nope. Never!!

🎧—What would the soundtrack be like?

I'm not sure because I've never really paid attention to soundtracks before, but I'd try to add some rock sounding songs for things like fight scenes and such and I 100% want "Still Here" by Digital Daggers to play during the end of the Fragment series. These are non-negotiable. Also, I need an extended opening sequence for Fourth Fragment that goes to I Prevail's "Pull the Plug". Also non-negotiable.

✅—Which character/plot point/etc would be your favorite to see on screen?

The end of the Fifth Fragment... It's what inspired me to start writing the story again at age 29. I saw the ending so clearly in my head, and I'd absolutely love to see it on screen someday, going to the some "Still Here" by Digital Daggers, bawling my eyes out. I'd probably watch it over and over again because that would mean it was finished, that I made it, that the scene that drove me to write so much since then is finally a reality.

If I'm being honest though, seeing the opening scene described below would be just as awesome too, but not near as powerful as seeing the ending. And then there's the Echo series because Stag... Grr, what a jerk, making a whole ass second series just so he can get more screen time. XD Seriously, the story was supposed to end with the Fifth Fragment and then Stag went and made a whole origin story which started a whole other series and it's all his fault it's going to be twelve books now. All Stag's fault. XD

🥀—Which character/plot point/etc is most important for an adaption to get right?

This isn't for all adaptations, just for mine. I need the characters to age the way they do in the story. Because I deal with time, we sometimes go forward and back and characters will be younger and older and this is impossible to do for live action without changing the actual actors. Second to this is my secrets. If I say a detail is important, they better damn well include it in the fucking anime or I'll be pissed. Look, it's important!! Like, if they decided to exclude Taki's interludes or show an extra scene that wasn't in the book because it wasn't in Deshi's POV, then I am not okay with it. The fact that it's in Deshi's POV is very important to me, okay? There are other things, but I'd hate to draw attention to them by pointing them out here. XD Girl's gotta keep her secrets close to the chest, you know.

❌—What’s the worst thing an adaption of your WIP could do? Your absolute worst nightmare?

Making a live action anyway and destroying it like they did Percy Jackson. They changed his 16yo prophecy to 25yo, they didn't have the characters look or act like they're described in the book, and it's like they didn't even read the actual books at all… Don't do that to me. Read the fucking book. Follow the fucking book. Adapt the fucking book. I get that some changes will need to be made for different media types, but there's a right way to do it and a wrong way. At least make it look like you read the book, okay?

🎬—Who would you cast as your characters?

This will take some listening to VAs. The only one I'm sure of, absolutely non-negotiably sure of, is John Burgmeier for Mythren using the same voice as he uses for Shigure from Fruits Basket. Non-negotiable. As for the rest, I'm going to be listening to a bunch of voice actors over the next week so I can pick some for other characters. I will say that I'd love to get Vic Mignogna and Jason Liebrecht for a role, but I'm not sure which ones yet.

🎤—Describe the opening scene

I'm not sure I'd keep it this way which is why I'm sharing it, but this was the scene I first envisioned when the story idea came to me at age 12. There's a girl with her head laid down on a desk and she's presumably sleeping during class. Her desk is right next to a window that goes outside, but instead of the city, it's a meadow. Inside, the colors are dull and boring, but outside the meadow if vibrant and beaming with life. The camera zooms into the window until the classroom and sleeping girl's head are out of the frame and then it goes out to the meadow, traveling out towards something in the distance. It starts to focus on the back of the head of a girl, possibly the same girl, with long, dirty blonde hair going all the way past her backside. She slowly turns around, her hair flaring out, and looks at the camera sadly. She isn't wearing any clothes, but her hair covers everything. Her hands pull out what looks like a glowing blue item (I later decide this is a blue flower) and the sad glow fills her face, making her look sadder. The colors start to fade, to the bland look the classroom had, but it keeps going and going until everything around her is dark and black. She opens her mouth to breath, but then drops the flower, which starts to wilt as it too fades, and cluthes at her neck. Then she she too fades, after she struggles to breathe and eventually stops moving. Then the title would appear: Krystar: First Fragment. This is the scene that 12yo me came up with. I've never forgotten it. I remember attempting to draw it even, but those pictures are long gone. 😅 Whatcha think?

💿—Free space for anything I didn’t mention! Talk about things you would add, things that are important to you, or even lay out the plot of every episode of your Netflix Original if it suits you!!

I haven't planned out that much detail for it actually. I'd love to break out of the standard 13/26 episode blocks and just do as many as are necessary for each book. I've also considered separating B1 in half and doing the second half with B2, for reasons. Either way, the details of each episode I think would be better laid out in comic form, which I do plan on making someday, but the ideal goal is for it to be an anime. Someday, someday.

Thank you so much for the ask, tuuli! You just never let me down. 💙 Hope there was some interesting stuff here for you!

Ask thing.

[itsawritblr]

Finally someone who I can agree with! Especially with her statistics.

Until I got picky and stopped Following certain fandoms, on my dash I used to either see wall-to-wall fanart porn, I mean people who post 99% kink shit, or cottagecore and cats.

I stuck with cottagecore and cats.

The 99% kink posters were all into "weird furry kink orgies with a bunch of people you wouldn’t want to go near with a 10 ft pole to practice BDSM incorrectly," in fact they bragged about it. Nearly all of them are in the Beetlejuice fandom, a major reason I got out of it. A couple of the most prolific Beetlebabes had nonstop kink art. One of them is an educator, and that person really needs to stay the fuck away from kids.

The rest wrote fanporn that was so anatomically inaccurate that I knew they were spicy straight virgin girls with kinks for gay men.

WTF is it with straight women and gay men?? I'm straight and I sure as hell am not interested in what gay men get up to.

And yeah, on the rare occasions they do write about lesbians it's always one is strictly Top and one is strictly Bottom, and the writers have no damn idea what they even mean by that (except one is the Boy and one is the Girl. jeezus fuck)

This is one of the reasons I don't read fanfic.

[brittlebonesguy]

alright time for season 9

oh boy another men v women season. the sexism isnt as upfront immediately like it was last time so thats nice. and that one guy who was like "thank god. its so much easier to trick men im so happy". and then going off about how men are evil and manipulative. damn who hurt you? rory's "walking like a bunch of ladies" i have my eye on you sir. taken reasonable breaks eliza? i have not even seen you near the shelter once. chris is such a man hater lol. i hope he keeps this up. actually if chad were to win its because it's not an idiot and not because of his prosthetic. first immunity challenge and once again these men just can't get through the balance beam. i dislike brady already. im sorry you guy's didn't appreciate chris's balance joke. cool now we're whipping out the "females" shit. why does jeff always do this? can we not talk about the women like they are a commodity? thank you for the bare minimum bubba, i appreciate it. thank god chris didn't go, i need some sort of lifeline.

i hate the intensity in JP's eyes. piercing into me, i fear they will haunt my sleep. and the way he talks? serial killer. and that guy was lying to JP about his....."good looks". sarge defending the ladies with their wni against rory, thank you sir. it's always an age divide, every season. the men did so much better this season than the last one. they only lost 2 challenges instead of 7 consecutive.

twyla is....a lot. "barbie's gone" i'll rip your face off, once i remember your name (is it sarge?). i have confirmed it is sarge and i rescind my earlier thank you. eliza....eliza please he said he had all the info he needed to know please stop talking. the way jp spelled rory.....oh no hes so stupid. (royry). thank god JP got voted off i wouldn't be able to stand him for too much longer. oh here we go with the "i just never got along with women" bullshit from twila. and her pushing back on very reasonable statements. really want her to go honestly. judging women for being "feminine" is just so low. yeah yeah we get it you're a tomboy *eye roll*. scout's on my shit list as well now with that "good luck with finding a husband who will put up with you" comment at mia. and now she's leaving? BOOOOOOO

it's about time the fatphobia came out john i was waiting for your shitty side to show. idk why the men always fall apart during puzzles. it's not that serious guys. now the real question men, could rory not figuring out the puzzle or did you guys not even let him try? now i don't like rory or brody (if that's his name)(edit: it wasn't it was brady) but i would love it if sarge left. i'm glad brady left though because i kept confusing him with that john guy. oh they ditched the men vs women pretty quick. idk it feels like a favoring for the guys by dropping it considering jeff was concerned that they were all playing an individual game so early on (as he said during tribal). just thinking....

twila is so irritating. not sure why ami thinks annoying the four women on her tribe will encourage them to continue with their 5 alliance. its just a coconut, i promise. oh bubba was stupid with that "chris think about the merge", hes for sure going home next. and him having to play the macho man and carrying the entire gate by him self. so far i'm really hating bubba, eliza, and twilia the most. and sarge when I can remember him. and bubba lying through his teeth about his "mouthing and hand signaling" like dude we all heard you said "chris think about the merge" out loud in front of everybody. yeah i also almost drowned as a kid bubba, i don't give a shit about the sob story and i swear if it works.... bye bubba i won't miss you!

sarge tripping over himself to assure us that he's better than women and he doesn't NEED them around camp he just LIKES them around camp....shut up. eliza is so useless its crazy. i hate twila's "those prisy girls didn't want to get their fingernails dirty" like fuck off, also the only one who didn't try was eliza. sarge what the hell is going on? i can't figure out his feelings towards twila but please keep them to yourself. honestly i'm glad lisa went. I'm so glad scouts gay! makes me like her more.

"I've been a threat since day 1" john they hate you what are you talking about? so happy yasur won immunity because I like this tribe right now. jokes on me I no longer like them. and I'm back at hating rory 🥰. I know if I went on survivor I too would have a temper but it really isn't fun to watch with him. unlike sandra <3. this might come back to bite me almost immediately but I'm liking twila more now. rory is officially annoying again and I hate his guts. and now ami is getting targeted because she wants the woman to stay together. 🙄 hope she wins! the men can all honestly fuck off. also is this the season of gaslighting or something? because why are we acting like Bubba didn't say all that merge shit at full volume? see I know ami is gonna go because she wants a woman's alliance too much and apparently people canr handle that. so sarge is allowed to rule over the men ans that's fine, we're allowed to pick off the women one by one and that's fine, but the moment it's reversed?

these men are so dramatic 🙄. rory with his "no one has endured more than me on this island" and "im the victim of a gender war right now" be fucking serious!!!!! and then chad and chris talking shit at the camp like twila and julie don't know they are at the end of the pecking order with both groups? they have a better shot eith the women than the men because NONE of the remaining 3 men are bringing a woman into final 2 obviously. they're such fucking children and I hope they all burn 🫶🏻 "it must be a woman thing" 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄hate you Chris and sarge! the men are so stupid. the woman are already considering sending eliza home but they're sitting here like "WE'VE got to convince them" why the FUCK is twila so content to be in 4thnplace amongst the men. THAT MEANS YOULL LOSE TWILA! like a number 4 spot isn't good why are we acting like it is??? you want 1st or 2nd in this game. okay sorry I jumped the gun on that, she did not in fact do that. oddly enough I actually do like twila and eliza and that's really it for this season. fuck off sarge! won't miss you.

love that chris is just jumping right into stirring the pot now that he's the only man left. TWO LESBIANS IN ONE SEASON?? this is such a win, love you scout and ami <3. I knew I liked ami outside of the game for a reason. so annoying that chris is acting like the wishy washy shit at the end of the game is a woman thing as if plans dont change all the time with EVERYONE in survivor. really happy eliza jumped ship because it's not fair that they kept trying to vite her out. eliza won the car....now she's completely lost her chance to win this game smh. but ami is still in the running! nvm :( she got voted off.

I'm getting real nervous that chris is gonna win this season. fuck OFF I really hate that chris voted off julie, I do. stupid move that somehow is still gonna work out for him. BOOO 🍅🍅 not loving this final three...... eliza please live through this tribal, you're my only hope. I'm swung back to twila is okay I guess? chris is burning so many bridges by voted out every woman who thought they had an alliance, dumb moves honestly. I just dont want chris go win because that man is so annoying. praying for your win twila! love how if the woman vote for twila it would be "out of spite", fuck off tool bag! and yeah the woman's alliance did in fact work asshole, do you see how many woman are in the jury? I can't stand this fucking guy. he talks like a politician 🙄🙄🙄 I just respect twila so much more honestly. sarge just.lying that he was gonna vote for twila? eliza.....why?

oh how I've missed this long winded unnecessary jeff getting back to America sequences bsjabaka. I hate that chris wins, I really really do fuck that guy.

5.9/10 season