#gimme that demon d

[heartfullofleeches]

C.C [Incubus Yan] and a "True" Incubus Darling. In this specific universe, there exists two breeds of incubi/succubi - "false" who are typically the results of procreation with other, more conventionally attractive demons and "true" who are usually the result of mating with humans or others like themselves.

False incubi are traditionally more appealing to the eye and lure mortals in that way. True are said to be so horrific the mere sight of them paralyzes their prey where they lay.

True Incubus Darling longs for a normal, human life like C.C has, but even in mortal form gazing at their face without the proper covering has the same effect as if they were in their demon form. C.C however thinks Darling is the sexiest piece of work that ever crawled out of hell - next to himself of course.

He feels terrible Darling beats themselves up for the way they look, but at the same time it lessens the number of bodies filling his closest if someone were to pursue his Darling romantically. There's still the matter of bullies, but he's more than happy to take care of those

-

True Incubus Darling: I'm...hideous. No one will ever love me. They can barely even stand the sight of me. I should just go back home....

C.C, internally: I know that dick is big. I know that dick is big. I know-

-

"That's the person C.C is dating??"

"They look kinda freaky in those bandages and shades. Major serial killer vibes."

C.C, acting at if he never heard them: Hey there! ♡ You two lovlies fans of mine? Gimme your address and I'll send you guys a little present.

[Later that night.]

C.C: Hey, babe! Would it be funnier to have dog shit or horse shit left in their mailboxes? Meh, this website has the option for both - so I'll do both.

-

True Incubus Darling, wearing one of C.C skirts: H-how do I look?

C.C: Bedroom. Now.

True Incubus Darling: D-do i look that bad....

C.C: Babe. I know you're insecure and all, but now isn't the time for that. Either I'm going to be inside you, you're going to be in me, or somebody's gonna have a problem.

[guangshi-091305]

Alright, another idea for you! For the danmei club prompt ask thing:

NingXian, Burial Mounds settlement days, Wen Ning lovingly bullying WWX to take care of himself. Sad eyes/ puppy eyes are fair use, regardless of what wwx says.

Gimme bittersweet. Maybe alpha!Ning? Do sentient corpses still have scents?

Yes they do, cuz I say so. But I am limiting Wen Ning's alpha-ness to just scents, being able to mate/bond and using the bond to feel what his mate feels. No sex for poor dead guy oop. Zilia, this isnt just for Jaq, this is for you too because you're the first person in my orbit who started chanting "NingXian. NingXian. NingXian".

Instead of 500 words, have 4.1k (what a horrible number) words instead!

“Are you alright?” He couldn’t hide the concern in his tone. Wei Wuxian had just come out after his self-imposed heat confinement and he looked terrible. He was gorgeous as always of course, but the Burial Mounds were hard on the Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation too. Although the way he looked now was way worse than he usually did which seemed impossible yet here they were.

“I am fine, all good, see?” He assured or tried to. The hoarseness of his voice gave away how long he had been screaming for an alpha who would never come. Wen Ning was seeing alright.

“Sit here, I’ll bring some broth. Heats are already hard on omegas and they get worse if you intentionally starve yourself.” He pushed him to sit on a fallen log and Wei Wuxian startled, a guilty expression contorting his face. Wen Ning had a good idea of the self-sacrificial bullshit going on in the omega’s head that made him so reckless with himself.

When he handed the bowl to him, Wei Wuxian immediately began employing his puppy eyes. Now, Wen Ning wasn’t a strong man, wasn’t one even in life and as an alpha, he really couldn’t remain unaffected by an omega he cared for but this was ridiculous. “Eat,” he said and the omega pouted harder.

“This is too much A-Ning! We could give half of it to A-Yuan, or Popo or-“

“Eat,” he simply said but then decided he much rather keep vigil unless Wei Wuxian tried sneaking away to give his food over. “Want me to feed you?” He asked and Wei Wuxian grinned and nodded.

The smile left his face when Wen Ning took the bowl from him and his cheeks darkened to a rare rosy hue that would have Wen Ning swooning if he wasn’t busy trying to coddle him. He’ll revisit that sight and fixate on it later. Right now, he was going to enjoy Wei Wuxian sputtering about not being an invalid. The omega wasn’t the only one who could turn the tables and fluster others. 

“This is ridiculous, I could’ve shared this much food with someone. It's being wasted on-”

“Xian-ge!” He turned and widened his eyes, pouting slightly and Wei Wuxian gulped and clamped his mouth shut. Wen Ning wasn’t above playing dirty and he knew exactly how susceptible Wei Wuxian was to his own puppy eyes. Hell even Jiejie wasn’t above falling for them so who was Wei Wuxian in the grand scheme of disguised manipulation?

“You don’t fight fair,” he whined and focused his attention back on the bowl, as if glaring would make it vanish into thin air A beat of silence passed as Wei Wuxian scowled and then downed the entire bowl in one go, sputtering about radishes and the lack of spice.

There's more ofc, but please go read it on AO3 :D

Please give a round of applause and listen to the song that inspired the vibes and how I went about this fic! aka REFRAIN by Miyano Mamoru!

[tastefulstars]

-----MASTERLIST-----

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+ ONLY

updated July 2023 // primarily writing for stranger things

Please heed all content warnings on each individual story before reading. I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere.

writing tag

blog nav

dividers by @firefly-graphics

The Boys Next Door - 1 / 2 / 3 / boys pov

Eddie Munson x F!Reader x Steve Harrington | Your cat decides to adopt the boys that live next door, which would be fine if they weren’t so damn pretty.

Of Wolf and Man - 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 /

Eddie Munson x F!Reader x Steve Harrington | You have a secret, one that’s a little more wolfish in nature.

Get In Line - 1 / 2 /

Billy Hargrove x Eddie Munson x F!Reader x Steve Harrington | Your words come back to haunt you and now Billy, Eddie and Steve are making it their personal mission in life to ruin you.

All That And More - 1 / 2 /

M!Werewolf x GN!Human!Reader | Everything changed with a buzz of your intercom, a lawyer and a dead relative.

Sea of Flames - 1 / 2 /

Demon x F!Human!Reader | “if anyone here knows a group of evil insane cultists looking for a cute girl to give as a slave to a huge scary insatiable sexual demon in sacrifice during their ritual in exchange for riches and eternal life please let me know, you can give them my number"

Higher and Higher

Billy Hargrove x Eddie Munson x F!Reader x Steve Harrington | Steve and Eddie want Billy’s girl, it’s a good thing Billy knows how to share.

It's Better with Three

Eddie Munson x F!Reader x Steve Harrington | You get high with Eddie and Steve, only, your plan for a relaxing night doesn’t quiet go to plan.

Love Me Deep

Eddie Munson x F!Reader x Steve Harrington | smut

Steve has a Bad Day

Eddie Munson x GN!Reader x Steve Harrington | Steve has had the worst day, you and Eddie help him relax.

Fever

Eddie Munson x F!Reader x Steve Harrington | Eddie and Steve are out late, you decide to entertain yourself while you wait for them to come home.

Wanted U

Eddie Munson x F!Reader x Steve Harrington | A night out on the town ended in the arms of two handsome strangers.

Pretty Girl

Eddie Munson x F!Reader | An encounter at a bar leads to a one night stand, that leads to a spending the weekend, which just may lead to more.

Kiss the Stars/Kiss my Scars

Eddie Munson x F!Reader | angst

And I fell, I fell

Eddie Munson x F!Reader | You interview Eddie and fall in love.

First Class

Steve Harrington x F!Reader | Steve fucks you in his car.

He's with the Band

Steve Harrington x F!Reader | You intimidate Steve a little but that doesn’t stop him from wanting you.

Keep me Close

Billy Hargrove x F!Reader | You get to see a side of Billy that no one else has.

You and Me

Billy Hargrove x F!Reader | request fill soft!billy following around r wherever she goes.

(If this ain't love) Why Does it Feel so Good?

Billy Hargrove x F!Reader | You get fed up and put Billy in his place.

Gimme Love

Jim Hopper x F!Reader | You’re fed up with being ignored so you decide to make Hopper notice you.

The Hunt

M!Werewolf x F!Reader | Running barefoot through the forest was probably a bad idea, but the adrenaline coursing through your body didn’t give you time to regret your choice. 

The Summoning

M!Demon x M!Reader | A scholar attempts to change history by summoning a demon, only it doesn’t go as planned. 

Bite

F!Vampire x F!Reader | A moment between a Vampire and her human lover.

Captured

Hellhound + Captured

Billy Hargrove

sub!billy being loved on

Eddie Munson | gen

playing with Eddie's hair Eddie's habit of poking his tongue out defending Eddie against bullies playing d&d with Eddie rockstar with fanboy Eddie Eddie falling in love with a badass waking up with Eddie eddie taking care of you massaging eddie nervous eddie talking about your plans

Steve Harrington | gen

waking up with Steve Steve not wanting you to get involved

Billy + Eddie + Steve | gen

confessing to wanting all of them your asshole parents confront you

Eddie + Steve | gen

being sandwiched between them they take care of you when sick doing Eddie's makeup Eddie and Reader choosing chaos realizing they all love each other reader decking someone in front of them labyrinth au

[hamilton-fluff]

some Lee's I would probably do if requested (different fandoms)

☆any males from hamilton at all EXCEPT CHARLES LEE (hamilton)

☆peri and dev (fop a New wish)

☆heather M and Heather D (heathers)

☆mark H, cesar T, Adam M, jonah M, Gabriel, Thatcher D, Dave L, intruder, any alt (mandela catalogue)

☆N >:D (murder drones)

☆rambley and Lloyd (indigo park)

☆Any hashira and Any uppermoon (demon slayer)

☆Lunar, earth, solar (R.I.P), eclipse, sun and moon (the sun and moon show)

☆Anyone (sander sides)

☆draco (krew)

☆Jax (the amazing digital circus)

☆Saint peter, Emily, angel dust, husk, and Lucifer (hazbin hotel)

☆yellow guy, duck, red guy (don't hug me I'm scared)

Thats all my fandoms I can think of rn, if u want a different fandom u can ask, but if it's one idk gimme detail on what the fandom is, btw I would be doing headcanons or approving them

Bye! :D

[echantedtoon]

Collective Chaos

Early Xmas gift for @karmalizedpixie

The snow looked beautiful today.

The soft snowflakes coming down from the skies fluttering and falling from the dark clouds but there was still enough light peeking out of the silver clouds to allow her to see what was in the sky. Like little shiny diamonds shining in the moonlight and sparkling in the sky on the way down until they joined the ground where they joined the white blanket covering the earth that sparkled more than a thousand strands of studded silk.

Her eyes scanned the beauty before her shivering as the wind blew the cold winter air across her body and dusting her with the sparkling snowflakes. The cool crisp clean air was clean and good as she sighed. And then she hummed as a soft fabric was draped over her shoulders. Eyes blinking she looked on up at the most beautiful pair of blue eyes she'd ever seen. A concerned look the man gave her 

"You'll get cold," his soft voice said as he reached up to start wrapping the blanket around her front. "Or catch a cold. Either possibility makes me sad."

She rolled her eyes but smiled at the loving gesture. "You know that it won't really affect me right? That's not how that works." Despite it she held it in place and began walking again which he followed.

The moonlight shown off the snow a d reflected off the snow like mini sparkling diamonds. The sounds of snow crunching under their feet were the only sounds around them as they walked together back home in the dark night. One arm came to be slung around her shoulders half in a loving hug half in a protective embrace. This moment was perfect.

"....Do you think they're alright?" She hummed in question. "The triplets."

"Oh that again. They're fine. We left them alone before for a little while. Don't worry." She waved him off but he still frowned sadly. 

"I can't help it. Thinking of them being all alone without me makes me sad." Oh he was very attached to them wasn't he?

A hand patted his arm gently. "Don't worry about it. It's only been a few hours, and that festival wasn't that far away. If anything had happened then we would've noticed."

"Hmm. I guess you're right." 

"There you go. Besides they're still little bitty babies. How much trouble could three children get into in just a few hours?"

She shouldn't have asked that.

Because it wasn't long for them to get home and just when they got to the porch- A SHRIEK SOUNDED OUT! Not a shriek of terror. A frustrated little squeal of anger that a child have off when not getting their way. Oh no- Both looked at one another before quickly ascending the porch and reaching for the door. He pulled it back and the two could only stare in bewilderment at what was before them.

Snow was piled around in weird small clumps everywhere. What looked like weird little trinkets from the festival salesmen they kept in their stalls. A teddy bear randomly hanging somehow on the wall slowly fell off landing with a squeak sound. And in the middle of the mess and chaos was three little fuzzy demon children wrestling with a carved wooden log.

"GIMME IT!! I WANNA PUT ON THE SHELF!!"

"YOU GOT TO DECORATE THE LAST WALL!!"

"MINE!!"

Little growls, hisses, claws, and bared fangs accompanied the many shouts as they togged on the log carved into a bear this way and that cursing each other with childish insults and knocking things around in a noisy clatter. Until one of the little ones turned to look up at them and froze. The other two pulled again him until one after one they also looked up and all three froze looking up at their parents. The five of them continued to stare at each other for a long moment until one of the children broke out into a wide smile at them.

"Hi, Daddy!"

"What did you three do this time?"

"We decorated for you! SURPRISE!!"

...Another thing fell somewhere making a thud sound making him sigh again and slowly turned to her.

"You get to clean up this time."

[shyvien]

Here are 100 random quotes from Mammon!

Sourced from the OM! Wiki, chats, devilgram, screenshots I found, etc. I made this list to help with studying to write the characters in character. (Not really proofread, sorry if there are mistakes. Also, there may be spoilers. If so, they're minor spoilers)

✧༺⚜️༻✧

“I want to [CENSORED], [CENSORED], and [CENSORED] like there's no tomorrow!”

“Hey! No touchin'! Grrr..!”

“Hey! So you're just gonna ignore me, are ya?! ...Also, I SAID you're too close! Don't get near MC! And NO touchin'! I won't allow it!”

“I don't want to have anything to do with someone like you! That's it. we're done! It's over! ...gr ...! ...! Dammit! Like I could ever really say that to you! I love you, MC! And I'II NEVER break up with you, okay?! NEVER!

“Hey, whoa! Whaddya think you're doin', huh?! You want a piece of me?! IS THAT IT?!”

“Come on, I was just kiddin' around! Now go on and unblock me. ...I'll tell ya a funny joke if you do. "Who's got two thumbs and needs some company?" 👍 "THIS GUY!" 👍 At least gimme a pity laugh, will ya?!”

“Right now it's just you, me, a bed, and no one to bother us.”

“Oh yeah? Well do me a favor and look into your crystal ball and tell me how many times I'm gonna sock you for that smartass comment.”

“I don't THINK so! Like, don't go marryin' Asmo, MC! If you're gonna marry someone, marry m...m-m-m…..m-m-ME! MARRY THE GREAT MAMMON!”

“Y'know..I wouldn't have pegged you as someone who likes to stir up trouble. But you have some pretty interestin' ideas up there in that head of yours, don't ya?”

“Whoa, hey there. Those are some pretty harsh words. Is there some sorta bad blood between you?”

“Look at those cheeks of yours. What's up with those, huh? How'd ya like me to give 'em a little poke? ...Like that! ...And that!”

“Would ya look at that? The Great Mammon really has an eye for spottin' shiny and expensive things! Who knew such a little shop would have uncut gems like these? Hehehe, come to daddy...”

“What's this here...an emerald? You're a looker, aren't ya? Wanna come home with daddy?”

“Lemme go! I'm not gonna rest until l've landed one really good hit on Levi!… Beel! Lemme go, ya muscle-bound son of a...! …All right, bring it on! Do it...see what happens!”

“Man, what's got your panties in a wad all of a sudden?”

“Yeah-heah-HEAAAH! Sweet, sweet treasure! COME TO PAPA!”

“No frickin' way!”

“Geez, I oughta wrap you up for pullin' a stunt like that!”

“Y'see, I was plannin' on hanging out with MC in my room today. And I wanted to create a romantic atmosphere, y'know? So I lit about 500 candles, and the room caught on fire. Scared the bejeebers outta me!”

“You think a little w-warnin' like that would be enough to s-s-scare me off? He thinks I'm gonna stop s-s-spyin' on him because of that? As if!”

“Folks around here won't let us forget it. But they're just labels. By now, no one knows better than us that labels don't mean anything.”

“Th-That's so coooohohohohold! Ahahaha! Why you guys gotta be so meeeeean?”

“C'mon, man. Make with the mouth openin'. The rest of us are waitin' for our turn.”

“Yeah, I know what you're thinkin'. How'd I turn out to be so awesome? You can tell I've been through both highs and lows, and that I'm self-assured and totally sexy.”

“If I can land a nice, clean blow on Lucifer just once, then whatever happens, happens.”

“And I hate the way you lock eyes with Lucifer...and then like smile and stuff... Don't do that, okay? Don't even breath in front of him, okay?!”

“Exactly. Nothin' of value is missin', except for the stuff I sold.”

“That's rough, buddy.”

“You might not know what I'm talkin' about, but I know what l'm talkin' about! Quit showin' up in my dreams uninvited! Ya gotta give me time to prepare before you go bustin' in like that!”

“D-Dummy! Don't go makin' me say it!”

“Have you forgotten? I AM evil! Demon, remember?”

“What? No, you must be mistaken, Your Wonderfulness. I said absolutely nothing of the sort.”

“Whoever's disturbed my...*yawn* my sleep... I got a pile driver with your name on it”

“Hey, you sure you'll be satisfied with just leaving things at my head?”

“If you're wondrin' where I'm at, that means ya got it bad for me, don't ya? ...Please don't pull that "stay" thing on me.”

“Levi, you son of a-- You just full-on PUNCHED me!”

“Eh, still... It feels nice when you run your hand through my hair like that. So l'll go ahead and let it slide.”

“Wha? No, I wasn't tryin' to make fun of ya... Little guy.”

“Damn straight.”

“Anyway, he said he'd be willin' to lend me money again if I managed to pay back everythin' I owed. Obviously, there's no way I can, so I pretended not to have seen anythin' and ran like hell.”

“Nighttime's when I kick into gear! Let's go out on the town! Your treat!”

“I'm still laughin' my ass off over here!”

“You're the only thing more dazzlin' than a gold credit card! Almost blinding, I'd say!”

“Final boss, my ass! Listen up, 'cause the Great Mammon's got some truths for you haters!”

“Just this once, l'II let ya film me in a bathtub full of money! How's THAT for fan service?!”

“So? Waitin' like a good boy's gone and earned me some kinda reward, right?”

“I'll raise my favorability score with MC lickety-split, profess my love, and win this game before you even know what hit you!”

“...Aww. ...I mean, now listen, you! Dammit. You really play dirty, you know that...?”

“Ah, there ya are! How'd you like to hit the casino with me, huh?! Right now! I'm feelin' lucky today. REAL lucky!”

“Just so we're clear, I ain't afraid of no horror movies. Not even a little! Not even a teensy-tiny bit, all right? Like, seriously.”

“Just to be clear, it's not like l'm afraid Lucifer might catch me if I go alone. That's not what this is about. Seriously, that's not what this is about! For real, it isn't!”

“I've got some serious business opportunities lined up for after classes tomorrow. I'm talkin' makin' some mad cheddar, yo! If Lucifer asks about me, tell him I was called to the human world by the witches, would ya?”

“You don't sleep until I do, you got that? And would ya look at that?! The ol' Sandman forgot to sprinkle his magical sand in my eyes! So strap in, buddy! We got a looooong night ahead of us!”

“Listen, Lucifer is gonna be all over my ass once he finds out…”

“No need to worry your pretty little head. I'll be around for meals and sleep. The bed's pretty big, after all”

“Yeah, a real gold digger, that one.”

“I wasn't about to give in to that jerk's demands. I've got more self-respect than that. So, I told him what the deal was: I get the room rent-free and he can shove his two-year contract where the sun don't shine. But then that snake threatened to snitch to Lord Diavolo and Lucifer if I didn't pay up.”

“Cheap shot callin' a guy stingy cause he's lookin' out for his pal.”

“Bet your wonderin' how a guy like me-drownin' in debt, frozen credit card, more lint in his pockets than Grimm-“

“Using my power and influence, I'll push you through the auditions and get you the chance to model, no strings attached! Well, maybe one string: front and center's all mine. Hope the edge is good enough for ya!”

“I swear, I'm not tryin' to pull a fast one on ya, MC, ol' buddy ol' pal!”

“We're pals, right? If ya really wanna know the details, I'll tell ya for 500 Grimm. If you've got the cash on-hand now, I'll tell ya for half the price. So, what'll it be?”

“Hey! MC! Why ya runnin' BUDDY?”

“Ya know, just a peek! So, help me out by opening the door, just a little?… But I caaaaaaaaan't! Open the door and let me see already!”

“My dear sunglasses just took their last breath... I kinda accidentally killed them. I crushed them...with my rear end. That's right, my poor sunglasses...and bum.”

“I'll whip up my special cup ramen! I'll bring it up in a bit, so just sit tight.”

“Look, l'm sendin' ya a ping! So get your butt over here, pronto!”

“Seriously, I'll bust my ass and get there at Mach speed!”

“Crap, that really does make me feel all warm and fuzzy. Thanks, MC. I love ya a whole bunch, too!”

“I got a raffle ticket when I went shoppin' today, so I tried my luck, and booyah. Jackpot, baby!”

“I've got jack all to do! JACK ALL!”

“Listen to what I'm saying, dammit! Can't someone shut this guy up?!”

“Huh, ya don't say. Whoopsie.”

“If you're thinkin' of saving that picture of me on your D.D.D., I swear I'll put a curse on ya! I'll make it so that you never find money layin' on the street again! And don't you forget it...”

“Jealous? Wanna join me, right? Well, this isn't the sorta place that humans can just go lollygaggin' about in, so keep your pants on.”

“Haha! That's all ya got?!”

“It's an honor to be fightin' ME!”

“Muahahaha. ALL points for MAMMON! Bow down to me!”

“Hehehe, I'm feelin' GOOD today. I got ya somethin'!”

“Oh...? Yeah, that's the spot! Right there!”

“That's a good human. You're gettin' the hang of it, aren't ya?”

“Yo. So ya dropped in to pay Mammon a visit, eh? Good on ya!”

“Missin' the Great Mammon, were ya? Heh, welcome home.”

“Hey, not there! That tickles!”

“What are ya, a spoiled brat?”

“I guess everyone's like that with their first. Who knew ya could be so cute. Hey, why dontcha be more greedy? That way you'd really win my heart.”

“Hey... Oi... All right, already! Pay attention to me!”

“Hey, can't ya be gentle?!”

“Ya know what do to, doncha? Thanks!”

“Eeeew, take that back. Give it to someone else.”

“Hahaha! Is that all ya got? It's nothing compared to Lucifer's swing!”

“Don't think you can get away with this!”

“Here, I got a present for ya! Beach time, you and me! Let me show you how well I can swim!”

“Also, I'm goin' wakeboarding but... I'm gonna bring you along too, 'cause ya know, I like hangin' out with ya and stuff.”

“A Red Demonus after a long day's work is the best! Why doncha grab one too?”

“It's cool if we chill here and drink together, yeah?”

“This looks so flippin' good!”

“Hey, why don't we go this year? Keep the date open, all right?”

“They're very nice, so I thought it woulda cost ya a pretty penny!”

Couple extra for my boy

“You wanted to match with me, ya say?! Cute!”

“Someone put a photo frame in your room, right? That was me. You were eyein' it up in the shop so I bought it. You put a picture of everyone in it, but I really wanted you to put one of just us t... Never mind.”

✧༺⚜️༻✧

I love this goofy fucker

𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

𝒮𝒽𝓎 𝒲𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒𝓇 ༝༚༝༚

[fea-resources]

Horror Game Commentary As RP Starters Pt.1

TAKING THE MORNING SHAFTS WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT. I mean... shifts. Totally shifts.

I feel like I'm being shafted to be honest.

God that singing ghost lady ruined my life.

Agh, my leg, why does my leg hurt?

It remembers the fear.

I have my gun out, ready for it... not ready for it. Let's be real here, I'm not ready for it.

I hate that I know something's gonna attack me and I know I'm gonna freak out and shoot it.

Preemptively shoot them. Double tap for the fucking idiot who came before you and didn't.

GET THE SHINY. ALL THE SHINIES.

Oh there's something under that car.

Mmm, do I want it? Decisions decisions.

Time for me to like, Die Inside.

Don't get up, gimme your brain juice.

You... got that brain juice. From his ass.

What is that? Its shiny.

Go hug it.

Fuck that lady. She got herself into this mess.

Yes.... extract their anal juices.

Totally brain juice. Right, right.

Shoot her anyway. Shoot her for having a crappy hairstyle.

You start doing some freaky shit like the padre, I'm gonna shoot you.

Oh god she's a crack addict. Run. Run far away.

She's on crack or meth -- either way its bad.

I read '______' as 'Satan'.

I dunno but I think s/he's about to change and I don't like it.

It gave me an angle and I don't like the angle.

Mobius Dick.

Meth does that to a person. God. Its such an obvious thing.

I'm serious. Don't fucking start turning into a Thing. I'll shoot you. This is a small ass house.

And god that fucking thING.

I DIDN'T THINK THAT THING WOULD BE THIS EARLY. W H Y.

Go closer, I can't see it! What is it? I know it will probably kill you but I wanna see it!

OH MY GO-O-O-D. WHY. W H Y. WHYYYY.

That place is glitching out and I don't like it.

This place looks cozy.

Marco...? Better not be a fucking polo around here.

That door is locked. Why is that door locked?

That screen wasn't on!

It was the asbestos.

That's me. I told you what I planned to do to the house.

I don't like the way the lighting is... I don't, I don't, I don't. I don't like... the way the lighting iiiiss.

Its fine -- you just walked in on a man getting his viagra.

Your fear. It fuels me.

I DON'T WANT IT.

IF THERE'S ANYONE BEHIND ME, I DON'T WANT WHAT YOU'RE SELLING.

Okay but... demonic girl scouts.

You most definitely do want what they have.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMM...... HMMMMMMMM. SPRINT IT, SPRINT IT, SPRINT IT.

Something better not come out of the blood I swear to god--

Don't do it... DON'T DO IT.

Little demons that want to sell you death cookies.

Yeah but they'd taste bitchin' in the few minutes before you died horribly.

Were those... tentacles. Because I know where this is probably going if they were.

Just... break your mic. Just straight up shatter it.

We all know.

Straight up the ass.

No. Keep those tentacles away from me.

I know that definitely wasn't there before.

Anything else in here that I need, before I go? Besides ANOTHER HEART ATTACK.

Yaoi hands?

You know that lady with all the spider arms and long claws? Yeah, that was her. I recognize those claws.

OH. I KNOW. I KNOW HIM/HER.

If s/he appears, I'm going to riot.

THERE BETTER NOT BE ANYTHING ELSE WAITING FOR ME OUT THERE BECAUSE I WILL SHOOT IT IN THE FACE.

You all dancing over there across the street? That's fine because I don't want you ANYWHERE NEAR ME RIGHT NOW.

The void.

WHAT IS IT? GOD.

Oh a shiny.

I bet it was weed. _____ out here picking up bad weed.

Whatever. Whatever whatever whatever, I'm just hearing shit.

OH NO. NO NO NO NO. WHY IS S/HE HERE?!

S/he just wants your scalp.

She wants you. She thinks you're her lover. She's the clingy girlfriend.

That's horrifying.

OH MY GOD, SHE DO THAT FAST MOVEMENT SHIT, NO, NO, BYE.

That noise was behind me... that noise was behind me, right? ...that wasn't behind me.

I don't know what's going on but someone's having a rough old time in there.

Someone is having a bad time in the bathroom. They need laxatives.

Oh hello, there's two of you. How the fuck did you get in here?

Bye to your fuCKING HEAD.

Why is there a pile of dead bodies here now? This wasn't here before.

Watermelon head Steve.

Porn. Its their porn.

Nah it'll be singing ghost this time.

Nobody down here and this is what I came to get. This is what I risked my fucking life for.

Please... please... please don't pop up again.

FUCK this house by the way. Like. Fuck this house.

My work place has rat traps so I guess they have vermin problems, and this makes me so happy because if I see one of those fuckers I'ma grab it with my bare hands and wow the whole store. Up my pay grade. I can catch rats myself!

They keep getting into our soda syrup specifically. I don't know why.

I wanna buy my own soda syrup so I can just... put it on pancakes.

I don't think its that kind of syrup.

Try anything once. ESPECIALLY once if its toxic.

Hey man its your life. And quite possibly your funeral, but you know... have fun. Yolo.

You can stay the HELL away from me big thing. Don't want it.

Pro Tip: Since there's a million Subways all over the place, they have lots of bagged pickles and jalapenos and banana peppers and sauces just... right there. Ripe for the taking.

What is that? Is that like a milkshake bar?

Its the mile high club.

Shoot 'em in the ass. That'll teach em.

She's your stalker girlfriend. You will be hers or you will not have the chance to be anything else.

Ditched out on your date with her. What else did you expect?

That's fine, you didn't want to know what it was anyway.

Standing in the bushes. A great strategy. I love bushes.

S/he definitely didn't hear that.

Can s/he ghost through walls? Can s/he open doors?

Bushes are friends.

Glitching blood. Same.

I know s/he can go straight through doors, I just hope s/he doesn't go straight through THIS fucking door.

S/he's coming for you.

Go away, I don't want what you're fucking selling.

S/he's not selling anything -- s/he wants what you tried to sell her/him. Your heart.

You're not helping!

The dead man is mood. The dead man and his glitchy blood -- also hella mood.

He's not dead, he's just resting.

Go out there and just. Run. Run and don't look back.

There she be.

She's a betta fish. Look at her dress. Betta fish.

Or maybe she's a friend. She sings songs. She's friendly. She just wants to make you happy with her singing.

She has all them arms for hugs.

I'm holding my breath for you.

Just keep moving. S/he can only be behind you, right?

I mean... s/he could be above you. Or under you.

My waifu. She's gone.

Damn that bitch really needs to stop harassing me.

File a restraining order.

I hate to be the one to tell you this but... acid beats knife.

Note to self... electric bolts work WONDERS on those things.

Dang. No creepies in the crates.

I'd rather have the ghostie boo instead of that... fleshy thing.

Sounds like they got into the firecrackers again.

He angery. HULK WANT OUT. LET HULK OUT.

Its Hulk's weak bitch ass cousin.

You're dead right? Like, one hundred percent? Because... if you get up... You DEFINITELY better not get the fuck back up again.

Hulk's disappointed in his cousin.

I am doing a concern, friend.

You don't like any noise, ______.

You're right, I don't like any noise, because noise means bad stuff.

I've figured out why its so cold in my room. The ghost lady has come to me. I'm embracing it.

She has many arms for tight hugs.

Technically they're like. Sashes or something. Like a betta fish. Betta fish ghost lady.

That fucking laugh tho. "nyA HA".

Coffee is nasty. Y'all are nasty. Coffee is the devil's brew.

Uuuuuh, this place looks no bueno.

The devil's brew and the devil's lettuce. How many other things does the devil have?

Does the devil live on a farm in the country?

Devil butt. Fuck yea.

Gotta face your fears. Face them like a man. A big, burly man. A bara, even.

Have those huge yaoi hands.

Someone's gassy.

I hear something... where is it? Oh no.

NOOO. ITS THIS BITCH.

Called it.

Even in assumed death, they have a knife. Relatable.

YEET.

BLOW OUT HER UTERUS.

S/HE. EATS. BULLETS.

I'm back. I got sour patch. Hopefully I don't end up choking on it.

Sour patch to soothe your soul.

You know what she reminds me of? The um... Witches from Left for Dead?

YOU STARTLED THE WITCH.

This is me, gonna die and regretting it, a lot.

Best friends kill each other before the apocalypse.

I... sorry, I have to leave because SOMEONE'S being mean to me.

They're having a rave. GLOWY EYES RAVE. *BEAT BOXES*

That's bad luck.

I hate how tight it is and that I'm not seeing whatever is seeing me.

I hear heAVY BREATHING.

That's not heavy breathing -- its purring.

MY SON ISN'T LIKE THAT. MY SON JUST WANTS AFFECTION.

STRANGER DANGER.

Don't blow yourself up.

The green juice is fuji dew.

You're dead, right? ...you're not dead. I'm not gonna bother you right now.

Evil train. THERE'S SOMETHING IN THAT TRAIN.

I love the editions of the flies, but the lack of maggots and decay is upsetting.

That's a big rat.

I SAW IT MOVING. I KNEW IT WAS THERE.

She's busy freaking over the rat.

I haven't seen someone so upset over a rat since my mom found a mouse in her pillow.

She's just mad cuz her tanning bed turned her into jerky.

Head splodey.

You woke them up. What the fuck, that was rude of you.

I mean, you're alive. I consider that a silver lining to this whole situation.

I keep expecting more ghouls in a box.

Ghouls in a box, much like kittens in a box, but now with fifty percent more mauling.

Only fifty?

What, is fifty percent mauling not good enough for you? Is this year's model not violent enough? GOD, not everyone can keep up with your strict mauling standards.

Oh come on my mauling standards aren't that high. I just assumed this wasn't the world of Hello Kitty or MLP.

How safe is the safe house, really?

You can service me any time baby.

Probably cuz you got cockblocked by the ghost lady.

S/he wants you to stay that bad. S/he's such a sweetheart. Clingy and murderous, but a sweetheart.

Oh that looks like a fun time. Let's walk right into the squiggly room.

Hey look its the slow mo brain juice again.

Its just a bullet to the brain, mate. Ain't that bad. I've taken a few of those.

Excuse you. That is called abstract art. And it is gorgeous.

All I heard was the sound of my ears imploding. And then silence.

Its the sound of forgiveness. Screaming and then silence.

OKAY CARL. Get out of here.

No save -- we live and scream and die like men.

Don't get caught by the ghost lady in all that distance.

Wing it like a birb. Caw caw.

Sitting here making noise on the sidelines with the desperate hope it gets you caught somehow.

Midget shadow.

Children are omens of death. Do not follow the pitter patter of feet.

DON'T TALK ABOUT MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT.

I swear to god nothing better crawl out after me. I will throw my ______ and then regret it.

You think a door will save you? You're a stupid bitch.

She's... probably dead... just like... nEVER MIND.

Your waifu awaits.

I really hope nothing is waiting for me. Other than those things across the field-- where'd they go? ....Wheeerre'd they gooo?

Okay now I'm concerned, there were... things. All of the things were-- okay where are they. They were rIGHT THERE.

That's what we thought about the ghost lady.

Well you either run or you die so its really just up to your personal preference.

That is too red to be days old. That is five hours at best.

I have this love hate relationship with kids because part of me is like "satan spawns" but then I just... want to protect them. Like what the fuck is wrong with me?

I hate kids and I have no desire to protect them.

And you are 100% faking death good sir.

There's another little ______ here, but I-- don't wanna be here anymore, BYE.

Yep, don't wanna be here. Don't wanna, don't wanna, don't wanna.

He didn't see SHIT.

That body kinda twitched and it was nasty how it did it.

Please stop yelling. Stop yelling.

Ew. Ew. I mean its a little cool, but ew.

I don't like not having shotgun shells. Shotgun shells are like my security blanket.

"Another doll" how many dolls this fucking kid have?

WHOA. OKAY. That hallway's gone.

ITS THE BAE.

That's a tentacle monster.

I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going. Or, well... I've heard of enough hentai to know.

I have actually seen enough hentai to know.

Sin city poppin' up round here.

Are those human centipedes?

SHE FOUR LEGGING IT.

Even though you're an ass, at least you gave me stuff.

I wanna lick every single window in this place. I'm not sure why, but I just want to.

[tinyperson00]

honestly- I have the urge to paint something

I've been staring at my Mikey painting while sitting on my bed for like the past 10 minutes now lol- But like now I wanna do another one ;-;

I kinda wanna do another manga panel repaint or something like that-

Gimme ideas or reblog this with manga panels you think I should paint >:D

It can be kny, bsd, or jjk related since I have already done one for tr

Tagging some moots:

@aceofstars0 @larz-barz @tokito-dulya20 @frostburn-shoto @silliestsakura @muitsuri @shycroissanti @kiyokatokito @kimetsu-chan @ta-ni-ya @your-local-demon-slayer-nerd @cloudymistedskies @demon-slayer-manga-simp @boo-simplified @night-mince0 @pinkwisteria @giyubabe @axolotl321 @saffron0v0 @nothingtoseehere1-2-3 @buppiez @dreamcorechild @thehaikuman @explosivesamurai @cherry-bomb-xoy @exymybeloved

[hulijingemperor2]

Next day~~

Mingfan: had a good night, Zongzhu?

Shen Jiu: I barely slept. Because I was thinking too much about Ayao.

I never felt so safe with someone.

He understands me and respects me.

Mingfan: and don't forget that he's hot.

Shen Jiu: how can I forget! I really wanted to sleep with him last night, but you know, a concubine isn't allowed to call for Huangdi. I didn't want to break the rules.

Mingfan: Team dimple alert.

Shen Jiu: *mischievously opens fan* oh? Well let's go meet them then!

Mo xuanyu: Yao gege is waiting for you in the banquet hall.

Xue yang: with his children and harem members.

Su she: don't be late.

Shen Jiu: and a good morning to you, team dimple.

Aren't you his concubines too. What are tou doing here?

Su she: to collect you. And maybe drill you some more.

Xue yang: we're very very possessive of Jiggy. 

Shen Jiu: *gasps sarcastically* I never noticed that. Omg.

Yao Huangdi is already mine, team d. He favours me so much.

Mo xuanyu: you're so sassy. That's our job! Get your own.

Shen Jiu: you know team d, you kind of have a point.

Mingfan: they do?

Shen Jiu: of course they do.

Shall we go meet Huangdi and family?

Su she: mn.

Shen jiu: team d, I dreamt you last night.

You guys started looking weak and ugly. And Huangdi discarded you.

Mo xuanyu: omg! Nooooo!!!

Shen jiu: I think this a sign from Meng Mo, the dream demon. Anyways, I can fix it, with this potion.

Xue yang: well gimme that shit. Before I start looking like Lan Qiren's big toe.

Mo xuanyu: or Jin guangshan's ass.

Su she: oh God that's putrid.

Weak or ugly, I'll still serve Huangdi until I die.

Shen Jiu: even when he fires you.

Su she: *sigh* just give me the tonic. 

Mo xuanyu: me too, me too.

~~

Huangdi's Eastwing Banquet Hall

Yao: Shen Jiu. How are you? Had a comfy night?

Shen Jiu: *kisses hands* yes my darling Huangdi.

But I wish you were there, next to me.

Yao: ahh. *laughing* don't worry. Tonight I will. I just wanted you to settle the first night.

Shen Jiu: settle without you? I got so dependent.

Meng Shi: how sweet.

Yao: aw, Shen Jiu. 

That potion that team dimple had just consumed, had caused them to swap bodies. So now Minshan is Mo xuanyu, Mo xuanyu is Xue yang and xue yang is Minshan.

(Minshan~ mxys body.

Mo xuanyu~ xys body

Xue yang~ smss body)

Yao: team dimple, I hope you didn't drill him in the hall.

Su she: Nah Jiggy. We said that you're waiting.

Yao: *confused*

Rusong: what happened to Su xiandu?

Su she: I'm xue yang, Songsong. Su Xiandu?

Mo xuanyu: no, I'm Su xiandu! And what are you doing wearing my clothes!

Su she: You're Shanshan? Are you ok? You look like mo xuanyu to me.

Xue yang: guys, I'm mo xuanyu. Yao gege. I really don't know what's going on.

Jingyi: is this some kind of prank? If it is, it's hella hilarious!

Zixuan: did you three do papaya so hard with Foxy that you swapped?

Xue yang: no, not this time Xuan gege.

Su she: jiggy can do that?!!! Well I do believe in Huangdi's magical rod

Mo xuanyu: xue yang! Stop using my mouth to be inappropriate with my Huangdi.

Su she: Shanshan, I know you want Jiggy's magical rod too.

Xiaobao: how do you fix this?

And how did this happen.

Xue yang: it happened after we took a potion from Shen Jiu!

Shen Jiu: *red with stiffled laughter*

Huaisang: I'm scared. But I like his fan.

Shen Jiu: well I think they're perfectly fine. How did the potion taste?

Mo xuanyu: like water.

Shen Jiu: then it's water.

Xichen: obviously it's not water.

Su she: yea Lan lips. You're an amazing detective.

Xue yang: it tasted a little sweet though. Like coconut water.

Shen Jiu: coconut water is very good for you.

Mo xuanyu: is there an antidote?!

Shen Jiu: uh....I don't know.

Su she: JIGGY'S MAGICAL ROD!!!

Mo xuanyu: shut up.

Xue yang: Yao gege can do anything. He cured Jiang cheng with it once.

Jiang cheng: ah, the night with the emperors. Don't remind me.

Zixuan: you'll never forget, babycakes. *blows kiss*

Jiang cheng: is it treasonous to call the two emperors evil.

Qin Su: um, yes it is. And I'll complain to A-Li.

Meng Shi: Jiang gui fei, is it a crime when you enjoyed it?

Yao: that's right. He did enjoy it.

Shen Jiu: well there is an antidote. And I had it on me this whole time. Ayao, should I help them?

Yao: please do. And I must introduce you to everyone.

Shen jiu: ok ok. We shall not delay.

Here you go, team d.

Yao: Shen Jiu, you're something else! And just as stubborn as team dimple.

You like messing with them?

Shen Jiu: yup. It fills an empty void in my heart. When I mess with team d!

Yao: oh my.

Shall we begin, with the introduction?

Shen Jiu: as you should, Huangdi.

Yao: you have met A-Su, A-niang.....amd team dimple~

Team dimple: *hiccuping*

Yao:  already.

So meet my children.

They're my heart, my jewels and very existence. Everything I do is for them.

Yao: Taizi Dianxia Rusong.

My baby. Literal crown jewel.

He's the leader of the Qin sect, and governs Yunping. He's extremely talented and graceful. And he is the empire's future.

Shen Jiu: oh waw, nice to meet you, Dianxia.

Rusong: nice to meet you too. *smile*

Shen Jiu: you look a lot like Huangdi. Well all  his children do.

Rusong: thank you. And I enjoyed your prank. *laughing* team d met their match.

Shen jiu: I'm glad I amused Dianxia.

Rusong: mhm. I'm very fond of you. And heard about your talent, and life story.

Shen Jiu: ah, that's good to hear.

Rusong: so you're the peak lord. How is that like?

Shen Jiu: pretty fun! We're herbalists too. And I invented leaf manipulations.

Rusong: waw. Well that's really different.

Are you planning to make your sect a part of the Meng empire?

Shen Jiu: of course, of course. And I'm Huangdi's concubine so.

Rusong: delightful. We will be pleased to have you join us.

Yao: this is Jingyi er Dianxia. My dear little baby and my pride. He's training to become the general of the fox spirits and the ruler of Gusu.

He's a member of the Lan clan.

Shen Jiu: that's so amazing. Pleasure to meet you, er Dianxia.

You have maybe enjoyed my little prank too.

Jingyi: of course!!! Team dimple are the mean girls of the Jianghu. And we mess with them all the time.

And they're not allowed to argue, because we're princes obviously. And Rusong is their second boss.

Shen jiu: ahahaha, they're being bossed around by taizi Dianxia.

Rusong: even during childhood.

Shen jiu: diabolical.

Yao: this is my other heart, Xiaobao San Dianxia. He's glamorous like the rest, and he's good at jewelry making and fashion.

Xiaobao governs Huaizhou, and now Luoyang, which is a hulijing populated city.

He's more into governing than cultivation. So he oversees fox spirit techniques.

Shen Jiu: that's so cool.

San Dianxia, you're amazing.

Xiaobao: thank you, Shen qianbei.

You seem very powerful as well.

Shen Jiu: you three are very gorgeous. I'm so honoured to meet the Meng princes.

Yao: now for the Meng princesses.

Shen Jiu: aww.

Yao: this is Taihua! The star of the Meng family.

She's everyone's baby, and we all fondly call her Hua for short.

Baby, say hi to Shen shushu.

Taihua: *smiling, showing her little dimples* hiiii, Shen Shushu.

Shen Jiu: she's the cutest little thing.

Hello, Gongzhu.

Yao: soon, she'll rule Moling when she's older.

Shen Jiu: waw! So you want all your children to rule then?

Yao: yep. They should have the best of the best positions in the Jianghu.

Taihua: I want to look like A-niang.

She always wears pretty jewelry and hanfus.

Shen Jiu: aww, we have a little diva on our hands.

Taihua: mhm. I love shiney things.

Yao: most pampered little diva.

This is Xiaoyu Gongzhu. My other beloved gem. She hasn't told me what she wants to do in the future.

Xiaoyu: greetings, Peak lord.

Shen Jiu: greetings little madam.

Xiaoyu: and yes, I want to look like A-niang too. Hua and I would dress up and do fashion shows.

Qin Su: these two are something else.

I can't find my Japanese pearl bracelet

Taihua: I have no idea.

Xiaoyu: neither do I.

Yao: A-Su, you're confusing them.

You know you have millions of pearl accessories.

Qin Su: and you have to buy me a new one.

Yao: oh my.

Taihua: buy me a new one too,

Xiaoyu: and me too.

Yao: what a dilemma I'm in. *laughing*

I'll order them from Dongying. For the three of you.

Qin Su: good.

Shen Jiu: Ah, the Mengs are very glamorous.

Yao: I know right.

~

Yao: this is my brother, Zixuan Huangdi. Emperor of peacock spirits.

Zixuan: *examining him*

Shen Jiu: Hello, Zixuan Huangdi.

why does he look like he's judging me.

Jiang cheng: I think this is your time to run.

Zixuan: *regal* shut up, Jiang gui fei.

*glances at Shen Jiu* pleasure to meet you. I'm very rich and gorgeous.

Shen Jiu: ah, you're a diva too.

You're a lot like your brother.

Zixuan: thank you.

I hope you genuinely love Foxy.

Yea, I call him Foxy, because he's cute.

Shen Jiu: rest assured, I love your brother.

Zixuan: I'll be watching you.

Also I find that you're very very handsome.

I think I should get a male concubine too.

Someone who'll worship me.

Shen Jiu: *laughing* I wish you best of luck, Huangdi.

Zixuan: I want someone from another Jianghu universe. *opens fan* Jintang, get the records.

Jintang: sure, Huangdi.

~~~

Yao: here's Lan Xichen.

I'm sure you'll get along. You both would be good friends.

Shen Jiu: well of course. Since that team dimple is jealous of me.

Su she: really? You're going for Lan lips? And we're not jealous of you.

Xichen: Shen Jiu, I'm so happy to meet you, and I'll teach you how to survive team d. *winks*

Shen jiu: all I got to do is drug them, to be honest.

Xichen: you know you would fit into team dimple. But they just thing Ayao is theirs and theirs alone.

Shen Jiu: do they know what a harem is?

Anyways, I love that they're crazy for Huangdi. Huangdi is the most beautiful person. Like how do these people cope with a gorgeous emperor.

Xichen: I agree. He's my love! I love love love Huangdi.

Shen Jiu: it should be illegal to have an extremely gorgeous emperor.

Is that treasonous to say?

Yao: not at all. I'm so flattered. Don't worry, Shen Jiu. My subjects are used to my beauty, dimples, and whatnot. *smile*

Mo xuanyu: good that he admit that he's hot.

Yao: here are the Nies. Chifeng zun, aka, Nie mingjue. And his brother, Huaisang.

Xue yang:  Huaisang and Mingjue.

Su she: the gossip and the gossiped about.

Mo xuanyu: *laughing*

Huaisang: hey! Team d! Take that back! Even though it's true.

Mingjue: just ignore these three entitled little gremlins. All they do is stick up to the emperor and badmouth everyone.

Shen Jiu: lol. Who's gossiping about Chifeng zun. And what are they saying.

Huaisang: I'm guessing team dimple.

Mo xuanyu: Mingjue's ass is fat.

Xue yang: but he thinks he's not good enough for Jiggy.

Su she: hence the temperament.

Mo xuanyu: he stores all his anger in his ass. And thats why it's fat.

Yao: *laughing* oh dear.

Mingjue: team dimple I'm right in next to you. Do you have any shame!

Shen Jiu: hey. But team dimple got some hot takes on everyone. I better stop messing with them and take a crash course in gossip.

Yao: as you wish, ahaha.

This is Jiang cheng.

He's a part of the order of peacock and fox. So he's in charge of protecting and serving the imperial houses.

Zixuan: correct. You're supposed to serve us.

Jiang cheng: in the Jianghu? Or in bed?

Zixuan: I can behead you for asking that. But then you're my brother-in-law.

Yao: both.....you're a concubine.

Shen Jiu:  *cracking up* the emperors didn't lie, Jiang gui fei.

So you two share him?

Zixuan: yes. But then we married him to Huaisang, because they fornicated in front of me.

Jiang cheng: wow wow wow. Huaisang was only flirting with me! We weren't doing the dirty in front of you.

Huaisang: yet.

Your majesty. Not in your Imperial court.

Zixuan: plus we thought that marrying them would help the empire prosper.

Yao: as Jiang cheng is my concubine and Huaisang is his maid.

There were plenty dowries too.

Zixuan: we indeed got more rich!

Shen Jiu: ohhhh. That's so confusing though. And I feel like you Huangdis gained a lot from that.

Both: yup!

Zixuan: obviously.

Yao: but we never leave our people suffering. So we gave them something too.

Shen Jiu: awww. How generous.

So Huaisang is married you two majesties and Jiang cheng?

Yao: you're right

Shen jiu: got it!

[1000-year-old-virgin]

203 Best Songs of 2023

Janine - If I Call *FAVE SONG OF THE YEAR*

Kim Petras - Brrr

Sam Smith, Koffee, Jessie Reyez - Gimme

ILIRA - Work of Art

Joseph - Nervous System

Mariah the Scientist ft. 21 Savage - 77 degrees

PinkPantheress & Ice Spice – Boy's a liar Pt. 2

Ryan Destiny - Lie Like That

Latto ft. LU KALA - Lottery

Chrissy Chlapecka - I'm So Hot

Ashnikko - Don't Look at It

serpentwithfeet - Gonna Go

Don Toliver ft. Lil Durk & GloRilla- Leave The Club

Don Toliver ft. James Blake - Let Her Go

Miley Cyrus - Flowers

Miley Cyrus - River

Meghan Trainor - Mother

Ice Spice & Nicki Minaj - Princess Diana (Remix)

Melanie Martinez - DEATH

Natalie Jane - Seeing You With Other Girls

Amelia Moore feat. jxdn - FUMD

Ashnikko - You Make Me Sick!

Flo Milli ft. Lola Brooke & Maiya The Don - Conceited (Remix)

Flo Milli ft. Monaleo & Gloss Up - Bed Time (Remix)

Astrid S - Come First

Ashnikko - Want It All

salem ilese - PainHub

Libianca ft. Ayra Starr & Omah Lay - People (Remix)

Labrinth ft. Billie Eilish - Never Felt So Alone

Katie Belle - The Best You'll Ever Have

Emilie Nicolas - Everyday

Donna Missal - Flicker

Donna Missal - Out of Me

Donna Missal - Move Me

Donna Missal - God Complex

Donna Missal - I Saw God

LØLØ ft. girlfriends- 5,6,7,8

Jackson Wang & Ciara - Slow

Troye Sivan - Can't Go Back, Baby

Baby Tate & Saweetie - Hey, Mickey! (Remix)

Shania Twain - Number One

Shania Twain - Got It Good

Empress Of ft. Rina Sawayama - Kiss Me

NLE Choppa ft. SexyyRed / Sukihana - Slut Me Out (Remix)

Maggie Lindemann, Siiickbrain - deprecating

Ed Sheeran - The Hills of Aberfeldy

Rita Ora ft. Fatboy Slim Praising You (Fatboy Slim Remix)

Tyla & Ayra Starr - Girl Next Door

Kesha - Only Love Can Save Us Now

Ciara ft. Lola Brooke & Lady London - Da Girls (Girls Mix)

Jeremy Zucker - OK

CXLOE - Flight Risk

Josh Levi - See Low

Josh Levi - BIRTHDAY DANCE

Alex Vaughn & Summer Walker - So Be It (Remix)

Alex Vaughn & Ari Lennox - Demon Time (Remix)

Taylor Swift ft. Ice Spice - Karma (Remix)

Taylor Swift ft. Lana Del Rey - Snow On The Beach (More Lana Del Rey Edit)

Boris The Lucid - BOYFRIEND

Carrie Underwood - Take Me Out

Libianca - Jah

Conan Gray - Never Ending Song

The Aces - Always Get This Way

Madison Beer ft. Timbaland - Home To Another One (Remix)

Äyanna - Girlfriend

Nicki Minaj & Ice Spice ft. Aqua – Barbie World

Rita Ora - That Girl

Rita Ora - Unfeel It

Tanerelle - Feel Good Inc. X Sidetracked (Perfect Lover Mash Up)

Sleater-Kinney - Hell

Saweetie ft. YG & Tyga - BIRTHDAY

Mae Stephens ft. Meghan Trainor - Mr Right

Brooke Candy - FMUATW

Ben Kessler - When I Hate Myself

Eliott ft. Vancouver Sleep Clinic - Happy On My Own

Reneé Rapp - Pretty Girls

Leah Kate - Bored

Chappell Roan - HOT TO GO!

Rina Sawayama ft. Amaarae - Imagining

GAYLE - Leave Me For Dead

Selena Gomez - Single Soon

Äyanna - Change Your Life

Julia Wolf - Wishbone

Cloudy June - Devil Is A Woman

Anne-Marie ft. Shania Twain - UNHEALTHY

Leaf ft. Bandmanrill, DJ Drewski - 2 Freaky

Olivia O'Brien - I should've fucked your brother

SIIICKBRAIN - Psychopath

Adekunle Gold - Do You Mind?

Duncan Laurence - I Do

Dizzy - Open Up Wide

Leigh-Anne ft. Ayra Starr - My Love

Troye Sivan – Got Me Started

Cate - Girlfriend

NERIAH - Falling 4 Somebody

Cardi B ft. Megan Thee Stallion - Bongos

Amelia Moore - Over My Ex

Johnny Orlando - Boyfriend

Tyla - Water

Tems - Me & U

Mette - Mama's Eyes

Wrabel - Beautiful Day

Chxrry22 - MORE

Norah Jones - Can You Believe

Kanii ft. Trippie Redd - sins (let me in) [Remix]

Niall Horan & Lizzy McAlpine - You Could Start A Cult (Encore Version)

Travis Scott ft. Beyoncé - DELRESTO (ECHOES)

Addison Rae ft. Charli XCX - 2 Die 4

Gyakie - Rent Free

Kim Petras - Hit It From The Back

Kim Petras ft. Banks - Bait

Kim Petras - Dirty Things

K. Michelle - Blame Yourself

Sunnitharapper ft. Salma Slims - Moody

Troye Sivan - One of Your Girls

Lady London ft. Jeremih - Do Something

Zara Larsson, David Guetta - On My Love

cassö, RAYE, D-Block Europe - Prada

Serpentwithfeet- Damn Gloves

Dove Cameron - Still

Kenya Grace - Paris

Dua Lipa - Houdini

Tokischa ft. Sexyy Red - Daddy

Zach Seabaugh - Helium Balloons

COBRAH - 10/10

COBRAH - BAD POSITION

COBRAH - TEQUILA

Clinton Kane - PANIC ATTACK

Megan Thee Stallion - Cobra

Nick Wilson - For You It Was Him

Nick Wilson - Way Back

Ice Spice - Deli

Enchanting - Needy

SZA - Kill Bill

Kylie Minogue - Padam Padam

Summer Walker - Girls Need Love (Girls Mix) ft. Tyla / Victoria Monet / Tink

Tate McRae - exes

Tove Lo - I like u

Kim Petras - Je T'Adore

Doechii - Booty Drop

Kim Petras - Claws

Sam Smith & Madonna - VULGAR

Kim Petras - uhoh

Borgore x Cupcakke x Chase Icon - Abracadabra

Clinton Kane - DISAPPEAR

Nicki Minaj - Big Difference

Nicki Minaj - Pink Friday Girls

Charli XCX ft. Sam Smith - In The City

Reneé Rapp ft. Megan Thee Stallion - Not My Fault

Flo Milli - Never Lose Me

Kim Petras - Thousand Pieces

Kim Petras - Minute

Charli XCX - Speed Drive (jamesjamesjames Remix)

Chrissy Chlapecka - BRAT

The Last Dinner Party - My Lady of Mercy

Shania Twain - Waking Up Dreaming

Nicki Minaj - Fallin 4 U

Jessie Ware ft. Pabllo Vittar -Pearls (Brabo Remix)

Shania Twain - Queen Of Me

Chiké, Oxlade - Spell [Remix]

Anycia - REFUND

Lah Pat ft. Flo Milli - Rodeo (Remix)

Biig Piig - This Is What They Meant

Niall Horan - Save My Life

Bronze Avery - Sex In The Room

Ava Max - Cold As Ice

Peach PRC - F U Goodbye

Suzanne Sheer - Off Limits

Nicki Minaj - FTCU

Madison Rose - Girls Girls Girls

Kaliii ft. GloRilla - Can't Get 'Em

BIA - FALLBACK

Miley Cyrus - Jaded

Kylie Minogue - You Still Get Me High

Miley Cyrus - Violet Chemistry

Miley Cyrus ft. Sia - Muddy Feet

Bebe Rexha - Visions (Don't Go)

Coi Leray - My Body

Coi Leray ft. Saucy Santana - Spend It

Maiya The Don - Luv U Better

The Last Dinner Party - Nothing Matters

IDK ft. Jucee Froot & Saucy Santana - Pinot Noir

Tinashe - Uh Huh

Nicki Minaj - Beep Beep

Nicki Minaj - Pink Birthday

Bella Poarch - Bad Boy

Nicki Minaj - My Life

Trippie Redd & BANKS - Saint Michael Myers

Tamera - Frozen

Shygirl & CoSha - Thicc

Ari Lennox - Get Close

Flo Milli - Fruit Loop

Mette - For The People

Amaarae - Angels in Tibet

Jamila Woods ft. Saba - Practice

Rachel Chinouriri - Maybe I’m Lonely

Jonah Kagen - Save My Soul

The OMG Girlz - Lover Boy

Karin Ann - A Stranger With My Face

Victoria Monet - Alright

Paige - Aquarian

Jack Harlow - Lovin On Me

KenTheMan - Mean B*tch

2022's List

[callm3-q]

gimme your interpretation of cucuruchos intentions in cucuhalo 👀 i like the way your mind works i wanna hear abt it......

I think cucurucho wants to fuc- *gets shot*

HE WANTS DEMON PUS- *Gets shot again*

ANYWAYS, I personaly love the hc (I think it's your hc? I love the way your mind works to :D my fav page to follow) That Cucurucho does actually have a huge massive crush on Bad, and has had that crush since the begining of the island, maybe even longer. I love the special guest theory, I'm a massive sucker for it. I also think Bad and his oblivious ass, might, in a very small percent of a chance that he'd even notice, likes cucurucho also. I mean, like, he actually WANTED cucurucho to be his roommate, he WANTED him around. Like COME ON, that HAS to be SOME THINGG

In some other peoples opinion(the not cucuhalo gay sex truthers) Cucurucho could Not be fucking Bad, and could just be trying to manipulate(his way to demon pussy) Bad. Which, the way things are going rn, would be very easy for cucurucho to do. He litteraly has Bad wrapped around his finger, if this is the case

(If you have anymore questions abt this pls do ask, I love the questions you ask! I, again, love the way your mind works, I find your hc's and stuff like that very interesting. I'll spend like, a good hour or so scrolling through your page :'D)

[ruhorih4ra]

Greetings fellas 🐏 so I was looking for some Replaced!au but I think I just read all of them? Sadly I can't write that level of Angst but I decided to do my own silly version.

It's not really a replaced!au tho, or is it? Nvm. It's meant to have more parts but then again, who knows?

It contains:

Gn!Mc

¿Cómo traduzco "majaderías"? JAJSJAJ

Bad words? A rude Mc? Swearing words?

Ambiguous relationships.

Aaah, Angst.

Violence against fingers.

Grammar mistakes. ♡⁠˖⁠꒰⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠⑅⁠꒱

Get out of my way 🌈

“No one it's perfect.” You declared, looking at the wonderful black-haired woman with a stunning smile and beautiful gray eyes. “She's gorgeous!!” The Little D. murmured, a tiny demon of wrath dressed in neon green.

“Appearance is not everything.” you replied, slightly lifting your chin. “Some people are nice to look at and ugly to be around, bet you didn’t know that uh?” Just then, the woman helped a cat out of a tree even though she gained an ugly scratch in return. “That doesn't prove anything.” you said quickly, the laughter of another Little D. with orange eyes got on your nerves. “Shut up!” you said gritting your teeth. “I'm hungry, Mc!!” Shouted a little demon of gluttony, crying loudly and tapping the table you were at.

You were sitting at a lonely and abandoned table, surrounded only by annoying Little D’s. “Yeah, me too.” you started thinking about Hell’s Burgers, Backstabbing Sandwich, Broiled Deathfish, Hell’s Burgers again. “Mc! Ugh! You're drooling!” It was turn of the Little D. of lust complaints. “Shut up!! Mc can do whatever they want! Mc! Mc! Gimme a Grimm, pleeeasee!” “You're a scumbag like everyone of your kind!” “Quiet all of you!”

You inhaled deeply before letting out a tired sigh. “How did I end up like this? Where did everything go wrong?!”

Right, the new exchange student.

It was the beginning of a new year when she arrived, Diavolo couldn’t be blamed for continuing with his plans. You couldn't be the new exchange student forever and, in fact, you were actually pretty old news, weren't you? Optimisticly now you were part of RAD, part of the Devildom even.

When you think about it, it's really funny. You were in the council room. You were standing on the opposite side of the place designed for the new exchange student summoning, and it brought back memories of your own arrival. “This time everything will be different, she won't be afraid like I was! I'll be here!” you thought. You had been so excited to show her around! You could even recall how you made a promise to yourself, “I won't let the brothers be mean to her.” you rolled your eyes with annoyance. “Silly you!”

You had helped with the decision when Lucifer chose her, so you already knew she was beautiful, but oh dear god, if you hadn't known better, you would have thought she was an angel. As hard evidence, Asmo was all over her in a matter of seconds, you had felt his lust blossoming through your pact. You could also remember how you had felt a hint of jealousy.

At first, Lucifer had asked Beelzebub to take the guardian role but then and much to your surprise, Mammon complained since, in his own words “I have way more experience in that!” Mammon, the one who had always complained about being your babysitter. That had definately hurt you, but it was logical, you have changed the way they look at humans and now they have the chance to prove it.

The first week was a whole battle against yourself, you felt like a 5 year old getting angry because there is another baby around. “Of course they would be more attentive to her! She's new here!” But then again, you had felt like a stranger ever since she arrived.

The subtle way Mammon would blush when he spoke to her, getting closer and closer. That picture of Levi kissing her hands that you can’t get ride of (after all, she help him win against the final boss). That adorable way Beelzebub’s eyes would shine when she was in charge of breakfast and, God only knows just how many photos of her Asmodeus has taken, apparently never enough. The lights in Satan’s room are always on, and without fail you can find books, cats and her. Does she have a name or can you call her “Belphie’s favorite pillow”? most of the time, she would nap with him. The sting in your chest when you saw her dancing with Lucifer, at least he won’t try to break her hand too.

“What an ugly feeling is this.” Your voice was barely audible.

“But it was kind of normal back then, right? I was jealous because normally they would give me their full attention.” you began to hum and, looking at the Little D. of envy, you asked. “When did you arrive?” The tiny demon struck your pose and, similar to Solomon, brought his small hand to his chin. “I think it was when the brothers chose her over you!” The color of your eyes immediately turned to a terrifying neon green and the right eye began to twitch. The Little D. hid behind the others small demons, reeking of fear. “They did NOT chose HER over ME.” “They did.” “No.” “Yes.” “No!!” “Yes!!!” “They just picked the movie she wanted!! It's not the same!!”

How could something so utterly simple and ridiculous be the start of this mess?

It had been raining all day when Levi proclaimed that it was a perfect opportunity to watch a movie. You went to your room, ready to bring some pillows and blankets. You even took a few more for everyone, but when you got to the room, everybody was already in their seats watching the movie. The one she had chosen, they didn't even wait for you. You sat alone in silence, trying to no avail to look at the movie, but the feeling of comfort never reached you.

Before the movie ended you had already left the room, walking slowly towards your own. As you made your way to your chamber, you wondered if they had noticed how you left.

There was an aching sensation in your chest, the same feeling you would have when you feel left out rather than replaced. You heard SC laugh and she sounded happy, relaxed. You were glad that she was having such a great time, but it's so not fair!

You stopped at once. What did you just say? “It's so not fair!” you turned around following the shrill voice. There, behind a vase, was something that looked like black cotton candy. “Who are you?!” you walked closer to the little thing and, the closer you got the more you could see. A pair of playful eyes looked at you, a big smile on his face and a very cute hat. Leviathan's colors! It was a mini Little D. of envy! “Oooww! How cute!!” you cupped his form in your hands, he was an exact replica of a Little D., no bigger than your hands.

“Why are you here, little one?” “I'll eat your soul!” you took him with one hand and started to pet him with the other, you replied to his threats with an overly sweet voice, the type that one would use with a dog. “Sure you will, of course you will! Who will eat my soul! Who will? You!” It happened so fast that for a moment you stood still, watching the blood sliding through your hand. “AH, WHa-OUCH!!” The Little D. bit your finger and didn’t let go, roughly sinking his fangs. “Ouch!! Ouch!! Let me go, you little son of a bitch!!”

You tried to force your finger free but the Little D.'s fangs wouldn’t budge and so, the skin started to rip off, more and more blood coming out of your finger. “LET ME GO NOW!!”

The little demon’s eyes filled with fear, disappearing from your sight as soon as he had appeared. Your breathing was erratic and you could barely contain the shaking of your hands, there was blood everywhere. You bit your lips, the pain in your hand was unbearable.

“Fuck” you took your injured hand with the healthy and trembling one, examining the wound. Horrible mistake, it was a miracle that you hadn't drop dead right there. “Is that my fucking bone?”

“Humans are so fragile...” there was that piece of shit again, you were going to kill him. “Come here, I won't hurt you.” The feral look in your eyes must had given you away because the small demon took a step back instead. “You want to hit me.” “Nah.” You tried to reach him but he disappeared.

You breathed through your teeth, walking towards your room at a slow pace, as if your feet were the wounded ones. You spent the whole night casting spells for your finger, slowly and quietly. You didn’t know the ruckus you caused outside the next morning, when the brothers woke up only to find big bloodstains, your blood. They immediately went to your room, all seven of them had burst into the room. You were sleeping soundly with your body intact, except maybe for the way you were holding on your hand for dear life. Except perhaps for the tears stains on your face.

Part 2. ಠ⁠‿⁠ಠ

As always, thanks for reading! (⁠ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ⁠)⁠━⁠☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

[chizachi]

~.•°•.intro.•°•.~

(I'm sorry it's long, it my first time having a Tumblr blog and I had fun learning how to use it)

.•°Who am I?°•.

Chizai! 知財 (yes like the damn cooperation my parents liked it's name (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠))

.•°What can you call me?°•.

•Chi ~-~ •Chichi

•Zachi ~-~ •Zai

.•°What's my Gender?°•.

Male!

.•°How old am I?°•.

18 years old <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>

.•°Birthday/Date°•.

June 28 2006

.•°Pronouns?°•.

He/Him/His

.•°My Sexuality?°•.

Very into men as a man (ahem GAY)

.•°Nationality?°•.

Half&Half special (Japanese&Filipino)

.•°What languages do I speak?°•.

•English ~-~ •Filipino

•Japanese (but very very bad at it cuz I never managed to learn it properly-)

.•°Which country am I in now?°•.

As of now, the Philippines (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

~.•°•.Relationship shit.•°•.~

.•°Relationship/Love life status?°•.

SINGLE DAMN DESPERATE DAMNIT WHYYYYYYY

.•°What is my love language?°•.

•Words of Affirmation

•Physical Touch

.•°My type?°•.

At this point, any man I find somewhat Attractive and kind. But still gimme someone who'll bully the shit outta me but still love me-

~.•°•.interests.•°•.~

FANDOMS:

Nanbaka

Mairimashita! Iruma-Kun

Squid Game

Smosh

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Sleepy princess in the Demon Castle

Records of Ragnarok

Genshin Impact

Cookie Run Kingdom

Assassination Classroom

The puzzle(?) games from GlobalGear Co. Ltd (Psycho boy, Lonely boy, Tall boy ect)

Hobbies I enjoy doing :

(I have a lot I'm sorry so I'll make a most important hobbies or smth (╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠))

Writing

Drawing

Painting

Gaming

Reading manga

Roleplaying

Creating stories

Learning

Cleaning

Making smut fics-

Cooking

Baking

DIY's

Making manga

Papercraft making

Model making

Extra curricular activities:

(sorry I don't know what it's called)

Modeling

Manga making

Journalism

English/Science/Math club

FAVORITES:

.•°What are my favorite foods?°•.

I really like spicy stuff but mostly chicken nowadays :D I really like spicy buffalo wings and this thing I learned about called garlic chicken I think is called. But I do love some good spicy ramen

.•°Favorite Color?°•.

Pretty obvious but various shades of muted natural leaf like greens and of course black 🖤💚

.•°Favorite Subject?°•.

•English ~-~ •Science

•Mathematics

.•°Favorite Artist?°•.

Hev Abi cause I started getting into Filipino music and I love how his songs sound like (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)

~.•°•. Likes & Dislikes .•°•.~

Likes:

-Cats

-Spicy stuff

-Anime ig

-Daydreaming stuff (I think it's called that correct me if I'm wrong)

-Animation

-Comedy

-Music

Dislikes:

-The British (personal vendetta. Vindetta? Vendita? Vendeta? You know what I mean)

-Homophobic people (⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠)

-Crowds (makes me panic a lot)

-People who just keep judging people for their opinions without proper reason and just judge immediately without actually listening to why that is their opinion. Unless it is genuinely a stupid opinion. Hope you know what I mean (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠)

~.•°•.NSFW.•°•.~

Limits:

•P3d0ph1l14

•S¢4t

•N3¢r0ph1l14

•B34$t1@l1ty

•Waterspots

(I learned about like a few more recently and I am frankly disgusted)

Kinks:

(I dunno I'm just learning most of them-)

•BULLYING I KNEW THAT FOR YEARS

•Bondage? Pretty sure I like it

•BDSM

•Nipple play (is a thing right)

•Toys

•Fingering

•very willing to do anal (no shit I don't have anything else to use-)

(will possibly update soon if I maybe think of something else (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠) But thank you for reading fully if you do

[xxlady-lunaxx]

SabiGiyuu masterlist !

Fluff:

Sweet talk

Demons and unicorns

I love youUuOUuUoU ❤

First love

Kiisss //art

Gimme kissy //art

First and Last

Bunny Slippers //art

guardian!sabito au//art

modern au headcanons

suddenly in love //drabble

lost in his eyes

who put flowers in my hair D: //art

Angst:

//art

Sane/SabiGiyuu

Fluff+Angst:

Safe | Safe pt.2

Why do you cry?

Us Against the World

[chaosverseline]

Memes

When imu first met crocodile (note :crocodile is trans here and was assigned female at birth, he is really a male, but in here he is still a baby)

Imu :okay! 😃Grandma is here! Now where is that baby!

Imu:(Sees baby crocodile) 😍gimme!gimme!gimme! Come on,where is she.where is she.

imu:(sees Edward Newgate) (>:0) yeah, I see you son in law, you’re chopped liver, where is the baby.

Yraif :(hands the baby to imu)

imu: Oh! 🥹 oh!

-five minutes later-

imu: I know you told me not to get you any clothes but….(holds up the armful of shopping bags 🛍) they partially jump in the cart!

-one second later-

imu:(cooing over their first grandchild) oh~! Isn’t she … just… god..

-2 minutes later-

imu: I know you said you have enough enough quilts,but….(pulls out a well done quilt from a box) I crochet them on the way in.

— much time later-

baby crocodile: (baby cries)Waaah— wah!

imu: OK, 😨(panicking) grandma got it,grandma got it 😰

imu:(sees *insert someone *rushing in)

imu: (demon mode)NOBODY ELSE TOUCHES THE KID, GRANDMA GOT IT!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

* silence *

imu: 😅(calms down)whew, grandma have a little stroke , but I got u now.

—-at the end——-

imu:(to yraif and Edward Newgate) no pressure but… I want another one, make it happen.

—— after god valley——

imu: seriously? You two got 6 ass long years and still no 2nd kid? Then who else I can spoil! Did you two forgot how it works? Newgate , did you put it in the right place? Ah, well, it too late now, I’m taking yriaf with me, yes, young lady , you’re grounded for the next 20 years for this stupid stunt. Pray I didn’t extend it to 70 years.

————————————————————————-

You want beer?

imu: yriaf meet your father. I hope you two would get along.

xebec:…. Um…..

xebec: (holds up a beer glass 🍺) you want a beer?

imu:(smacks xebec head) (((ꎤ ✧曲✧)̂—̳͟͞͞o ShE is four! 🤬

xebec: I DONT KNOW! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER?! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

imu: this wouldn’t happen if you didn’t left when she still a baby!

[afterwards]

narrator: xebec d rocks slept on the couch that night. Despite the rocky meeting, xebec eventually became a girl dad and charmed his way back into imu’s graces after a round of make up s*x. Which lasted for another 10 years until imu got annoyed with his lack of spousal commitment and xebec being always running off to his ship for another adventure and yeah, the whole I-want-to-take-over-the-world thing.

——————————————————————————-

Xebec and imu’s red flag

xebec:Hey girl, what's your favorite film?They said

imu: the best movie of all, a masterpiece of art called Human Centipede, Human Centipede(shadowy arms spout from their back)

Xebec: I think that I'm gonna get murdered tonight.

Xebec: I try to get the waiter's attention by blinking in morse code

Imu: (creepy)Why are you blinking so much?

Xebec:(rubbing the corners of his eye)I've got something in my eye

Imu:(shows really sharp fingernails)Here, let me get it out.

xebec:no thank you, I don't wanna die.

Saint elder: (dress up as a waiter and whispering at xebec ear)Bonjour, sir was blinking at me, is this because your date is a freak?

xebec and saint elder:(looks at imu, they are making a figure out of toothpicks and olives, in the chest of the figure is impaled with toothpicks)

Xebec:No

Saint elder:Very good then, bon appétit

—————————————————————————-

Amateurs

Donquixote Doflamingo : I am the first celestial dragon pirate!

Sir crocodile: I was there before you, you only publicized yourself as a celestial dragon so everyone can kiss your feet!

?: amateurs.

Doflamingo: What was that, punk?!

Yriaf : Amateurs.<——sailed under xebec d rocks as an active crew member undetected for 20 years prior to the god valley incident. A long time before either two amateurs ever came along.

every member of the d clan who are pirates: Hi. <——even though they are not celestial dragons,but they are still related to the nerona clan regardless, as the D clan are all related to imu’s half siblings at one point.

————————————————

Five elder stars: we need an army.

imu: I can take on xebec.

elder stars: in a fight right?

imu:……….:)

elder stars: in a fight right??😨

—————-/———pigeon meme——-

imu: (to literally anyone in close proximity to child/grandchildren/great grandchildren ) is this a new in law I need to torture?

[jangmo-othewarrior]

*grabby hands*

gimme more dmc Pokémon shenanigans I know you want tooooooo

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE

Dante has more dark types than everybody else. This isn't because he actively seeks them out, it's because he treats them far better than most people. They then get attached and just live in the DMC office. This group includes Tyranitar, Houndoom, a Litten, and the wild Galarian Zigzagoon that live in the trash cans. He also gifts the befriended pokemon to his friends sometimes if he thinks they suit them better.

Kyrie's Sylveon ends up having eggs, so she give Dante and Vergil Eevee eggs! They have absolutely no idea what they are doing. Vergil's Eevee is also the first pokemon outside of Salamence he has ever owned, so he's... struggling. They eventually evolve into a very cheery Espeon (D) and a very prim and proper Glaceon (V).

Nero only had Dreepy for a long time, but once he officially joined the Order Credo gifted him a Rookidee. Kyrie helped pick the best one for him, so she was mainly a gift from both of them. Post DMC 5 she's a Corvisquire, but Nero feels like she'll evolve into Corviknight fairly soon.

A Nymble accidentally got hit by the Van once. Nico felt so bad that she nursed it back to health and adopted it. The little thing now hides in random nooks and crannies just to jumpscare Nero at the worst possible times.

One day (a little bit after DMC 3) Lady walked into the office and Dante had a Poochyena hanging out of his arms. He handed it off to Lady, fell onto the couch, and passed out.

Vergil and Nero went on a mission post-DMC5 and found an Electrike that was hurt by demons on the job. Nero ended up taking it home, and Vergil unintentionally used it as an excuse to talk to Nero. Manetric is now a very loyal and good boy, and often ends up in dog piles with Houndoom and an annoyed Glaceon.

Patty found a baby Sandile underneath DMC's floorboards when Dante was in Hell post-DMC2. Dante has absolutely no idea how it got there, but hey, Krokorok gives Patty scary dog privileges so he's cool with it.

Speaking of DMC 2, Lucia's partner is an Absol! She kinda just showed up one day and didn't leave when Lucia was a child.

Gloria introduced her partner as a Liepard, but he is actually a Zorua. Dante gave him to Trish after he caught him stealing his pizza. Trish secretly thought that was hilarious and immediately bonded with the fox over their ability to disguise themselves.

Nina gave Patty a Fidough and she absolutely loves Dante, so much so that Patty has used her as an excuse to visit him. He doesn't mind.

Dante gave Nero a Carvanha alongside the DMC sign when he officially joined the business. Carvanha usually stays at home with Kyrie, and he adores her and the kids quite a lot. Lady congratulated Nero on receiving the official seal of approval for the business. She wasn't talking about the sign.

And finally, the third Nelo battle was much more intense, and a desperate Bagon tried so hard to get his partner back that he evolved in Sheilgon. In the end, it didn't work. Decades would pass before he would come back, but he did in the end. That's all that really matters, to Salamence.