#getting reassurance and validation

[kagooleo]

first dates aren't always perfect 💐🌺🌸

[rollercoasterwords]

yeah u can put "i hate jkr" and "fuck terfs" in ur tumblr bio but. can u listen + reflect when a trans woman criticizes hp fandom without immediately getting defensive.....

[ereborne]

my boss has not made a more general announcement about how she's fricking bailing on us. literally already gone multiple states away. taking a new position elsewhere! so I keep being in meetings where she is notably not, explaining to the other attendants why precisely that is so, and I'm getting a lot of immensely cathartic 'oh what the *mic cutoff*' reactions

office worker tip #whatever: outsource your outrage to people who are not direct-reports, because you deserve to hear someone call (or at least see muted people mouthing) bullshit, but unfortunately if you say it yourself your boss even from 400mi away will hear and fire you

[lucy-lockwood]

#Married

[reinanova]

question for the fanfic readers (and writers) who are out here working full time jobs:

how/when do you make time to read/write fanfics?

my tendency to read fanfics late at night will not be such a good idea when i’m out of school and working in the real world, when i can’t just say fuck it and show up with only a few hours of sleep.

[zahri-melitor]

I've been thinking about War of the Robins, aka 'Damian challenges the other Robins to prove he's the Best Robin' storyline from Batman and Robin 2011, and what I think worked about it in terms of characterisation. (look I'm reading New 52, you get to hear lots of my ten plus years out of date thoughts about New 52, enjoy)

Because look, I think it was successful in presenting how desperate for approval and validation Damian is, but it also feeds into the narrative you can see percolating during this time that Damian can't cope with just being one of the family, he has to be the best, have the most love and approval, have physical demonstrations of his superiority, because he's grown up understanding being one of the group to be a death sentence. (Dick has to be his Batman, and Damian Dick's Robin, he needs the writers giving him reassurance that they were 'the best' right before he dies, the new timeline cuts off any other occasions Dick was Batman, Damian gets given extra pets right before he dies as a sop for his death, etc etc)

Which is believable characterisation for Damian! It is understandable given the background they're building for him! But also sharply aggravating because nobody has ever accused fans of being reasonable and this just digs people into being more deeply opposed to the character their favourite is in conflict with.

So he 'challenges' Tim and Jason 'at something you feel unbeatable at' in a way that sharply exploits emotions they're sensitive about.

Damian...shows Tim a video of Tim considering killing and pulling back, and implies that that makes Tim a killer just like Damian and "they're the same". Now I think this one is actually pretty weak - while yes it's exploiting a point Tim's sensitive over (and in our world has dealt with twice in the calendar year prior to this story), it's also something Tim's pretty solid on; Tim knows he's not a killer and will pull back, while he's seen Damian kill. I also think that a Damian who's working to be a better person would not refer to the Spook situation as "a bit rambunctious", rather than it being something he regrets and tries to grow from. It does amuse me that Tim gets to smash Damian into Jason's trophy case however this time for the parallel, though being the one who breaks the case generally is framed to make you the one 'in the wrong' in the confrontation. Also as far as I can tell Damian never takes a physical trophy from this fight, which sort of ruins your whole premise, Damian. NB: I see Damian has Tim's bo in his room later, but Tim clearly ended the fight holding it and then left. There's definitely an art issue here.

Jason's fight is even more exploitation of a known weakness. Jason's got every right to be touchy about someone threatening him with a crowbar. Also I really really dislike that Damian's just freely admitting to the time he locked himself in with the Joker to beat him up at GCPD, because honestly that bit of story and its timing has always seemed to contradict the 'he's getting better' narrative that Dick maintains during Reborn. And again the whole conversation is "we're so alike but nobody loves you". At least this time Damian clearly takes his trophy (which is a helmet, which is still displayed in Damian's room during scenes there in the B&R Requiem issue).

Dick showing up at the end to explain to Damian that he doesn't need to try so hard prove his worth and just handing over an escrima stick - look it's sweet and it does impart the moral that Damian needed to learn over this whole situation. But also it does not really help, as it's just deepened the family fault-lines between Dick & Damian as a pair and *sigh* Jason & Tim.

The other thing I get out of it is whether it's just bravado or not, Damian's a lot more comfortable with his childhood violence continuing to come out rather than working to fit the rules of what makes a Robin and a superhero than people want to say he is. Yes, he needs unconditional love and support to grow and learn, and Dick's being used to provide that. But it's also occasion 3000 when I'm sitting here going "is anyone ever going to give Damian actual boundaries and enforce them when he tests them?" because he's once again well outside what is expected. Bruce tries at the start to defuse the argument, and Dick tries at the end to explain why Damian didn't need to do this, he's already won, but I do wonder how much of it sunk in.

[girlfox]

━

[a-dash-in-the-middle]

i don't know if i am horrible at communicating when i want a little attention or when i feel forgotten, or if people just in general never think it is about them because in their mind all of our needs are met and i am venting about everybody else?

[widevibratobitch]

omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee

[sovonight]

;

[hottsyforpottsy]

Do I think Nandermo might be stronger than ever after the finale? Yes.

But do I think we should have gotten some confirmation physically (not even necessary a kiss but something) especially after this season? Also YES.

[paarksunghoon]

nothing I hate more than somebody who fishes for reassurance and validation then gets mad when I choose not to since they’re the ones who fucked up

[dandyshucks]

i want to rb everyones art that i missed while i was away but every time i go to do so or just try to make any post here in general i start feeling like i'm really irritating to everyone or doing smth wrong so i get scared and delete the draft fsdjkl

i love everyones art that i've seen though and im sure i will love the art i have yet to see, and eventually once i manage to fix my brain then i will make sure i rb and throw confetti on everyones art !!!! you are all genuinely such cool people and i love seeing everybody's posts and creations :]

[mage-rites]

so much of making applying to things not suck is just thinking you have a right to be there. and sometimes that feeling needs to come from having already successfully applied to things and gotten them. why.

[gothighunicorntolerance]

If you don’t know how to interact with kids my number one tip is to just treat them how you wish you were treated at that age.

[deityofhearts]

whenever I say something like “I’m not entering a romantic relationship until I get my shit together” it’s not because I think I’m unworthy of a romantic relationship but that I know myself well enough that I know the likelihood of me landing myself in a toxic relationship is very high lmao