#W A R N I N G
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i don't know if i am horrible at communicating when i want a little attention or when i feel forgotten, or if people just in general never think it is about them because in their mind all of our needs are met and i am venting about everybody else?
#both could also be simultaneously possible#but doing the first one feels like shit cuz i want the need for me to naturally come and it somehow feels forced#even tho they could just listen to me and then reassure me once and then never think about it again#so like maybe i cant force anyone to feel anything anyways#so i should not worry about the results being insincere after i open up about them#but then it just makes me feel even more like shit cuz then i cannot hide behind it not being on purpose or out of lack of care#if they change nothing#and then i have to confront myself if i can live with it or if it hurts me too much or if i should give it less energy to preserve my sanit#BUT THE SECOND THING#which is a valid assumption on their sides i mean i had friends say they do not have friends#but then they did not count me in there#which i only realised after comforting them and also just asking so i know how i could support them more in such times obvi#i should really not drink this much caffeine and sugar in a day#it creates emotions and tired awakeness at night and we cant have that#DO NOT CONSUME 2 ENERGY DRINKS AND TWO COFFIES A DAY PEOPLE#W A R N I N G#nobody take this personally too please i am just great#it will all turn out well the road is sometimes just bumpy but its rideable yknow#BUT I AM DOING AMAZING fr fr#like no worries please i really did just get philosophical at midnight for no reason other that high sugar intake
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NPMD best line deliveries
oh shit! oh fuck!! i didnt think thered be a skele'uhn here ?!? im so fucking scared of skele'uhnz!!!
dont frighten him pokey you nasssssty boy
were going to jail...and with my luck no one will even B O T H E R making me their bitch...
🐦 heyus the thing about a bãrbĕqüe...it brings folks together...from awl wawlks of laife...theyres a storhé behand everyh burrghurr...everyh kehbahhb...
but I...called God a sonofa B word...who am iaieEUGHAHuhuuuh...
#honourable mention FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE GO GET FUCKED YOU'RE FUCKING LOSERS AND WE'LL KILL YOU#and ofc W E D O N T G I V E A S H I T A B O U T Y O U R P H O N E#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#starkid#starkid npmd#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#hatchetfield trilogy#tgwdlm#black friday#lords in black#max jagerman#peter spankoffski#grace chasity#richie lipschitz#ruth fleming#steph lauter#nick lang#matt lang#jeff blim#will branner#lauren lopez#jon matteson#mariah rose faith casillas#joey ritcher#kim whalen#angela giarratana#corey dorris#curt mega
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Billy, who has only ever known a life of ‘use or be used’ comes to Hawkins, Indiana with exactly one plan.
To get the fuck back out.
But see, the problem is that that takes money. Money he definitely doesn’t have.
The first night in his new room, he doesn’t bother to unpack. No, he sits on the floor by his bare mattress and he plots.
It’s not worth the risk trying to steal from Neil. Can’t escape this shithole if he’s fucking dead. Getting a job and actually managing to keep the money without his father finding out would be… difficult.
Bored housewives would probably be willing to shell out gifts for the privilege of a quick fuck to forget their balding, miserable husbands. It wasn’t much, but it was a thought to consider.
He leaves that half finished plan open in his brain when he goes to his first day at Hawkins High, only to have the page ripped up and burned at the first sight of one Steve Harrington.
Bored and- seemingly- apathetic pretty boy with absent parents and a big house. Considerably more his type than some desperate midwest housewife with sickly sweet perfume and a simpering voice.
And clearly rich.
By the second week of classes, Billy has caught Steve’s eyes lingering on him a few too many times.
So starts what would become both the only thing that mattered to him, and the worst thing he’d ever do.
His usual charm doesn’t work on Steve, so he goes the other way. Taunts him, a bully pulling on his pigtails until one day Steve snaps and kisses him behind the gym until Billy almost forgets why he’s doing this entirely.
At first, he feels no guilt in it. They don’t talk feelings, it’s just good fucking sex and Steve apparently loves to give gifts.
Gifts that are too thoughtful. Too knowing.
First aid supplies. Clothes. Buying him expensive dinners to make up for the nights Billy was sent to his room without a bite to eat the entire day, even if he didn’t know that.
Billy starts to become more aware of his plan as the days, then months slip by. He thinks of all the times Steve has given him money for gas or other things, how Billy has lied to him. How all that money is stashed away, just waiting for a chance that he can disappear into the night like an asshole outlaw.
Steve becomes his boyfriend and the guilt sits heavy and sticky in his gut. He starts to second guess what he’s been doing.
Billy doesn’t say he’s in love, not even when Steve does. He knows he is- has fought against it with every fibre of his being the whole fucked up way down- but he can’t bring himself to say it when his escape is on the horizon.
He comforts himself by telling himself Steve will forget about him. Move on and marry some docile stay-at-home wife who wouldn’t push his buttons the way Billy did.
But then, late one night, Steve says it again while he’s pressing Billy down into the mattress. And Billy- emotionally taken apart by a particularly bad day at home- crumbles. His eyes fill with tears and he says it back in a fit of weakness. The first time he’s ever said those words to someone.
I love you too.
That’s when his plan starts to fall apart. It’s become annoyingly apparent that he can’t escape this. Doesn’t want to. Steve has become his escape.
So even though it feels like pulling teeth, he starts to empty his stash. He buys Steve gifts now, because spending it on him makes him feel less vile. Takes Steve out on dates.
He finally feels a sense of relief when it’s gone, even if he says goodbye to California mournfully in the same thought.
It’s easier to be around Steve after that, even if a trace of the guilt always lingers. Easier to say he loves him when he isn’t constantly ready to say goodbye. Easier to open up to him.
He finally tells Steve the truth about Neil, and the first thing Steve does is offer him a place in his home if he needs to run.
Billy loves him. He feels free for the first time in his life. He’s happy.
And that’s when Steve finds out the truth.
#billy hargrove#steve harrington#harringrove#billy x steve#billy antis dni#billy hargrove deserves better#minor angst#miscommunication#harringrove ficlet#steve x billy#🌌 — a s t e r#🌌 — w r i t i n g
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if you listen real close you can hear how wet my pussy is<3
recorded yesterday when i got off and i think it's cute that you can hear me moan while i cum AND hear me play with my pussy:)
#me: i dont need a towel i wont get that wet!#my bedsheets: d r o w n i n g#nsft#nsftumblr#nsft audio#bisexual nsft#audio#ok if u like it u have to tell me thats the rule<3
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sitting on the floor in a puddle of tears and feathers hoping for a godkin to come rescue me
#okay okay okay#explanation:#i'm an atheist angel.#but.#i feel empty#and i think i just want someone to worship p l e a s e#aaaaa#ooc target#atheist angel#angelkin#godkin#deitykin#divinekin#actually angelic#otherkin#alterhumanity#alterhuman#otherkinity#therianthropy#nonhuman#otherkin help#guys p l e a s e#p l e a s e#i a m b e g g i n g#s o m e o n e l e t m e w o r s h i p t h e m#(in a nonsexual way /serious)
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𝓛𝓸𝓸𝓴 𝓤𝓹 𝓐𝓽 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓼, 𝓢𝓸𝓷... 𝓝𝓸𝔀 𝓖𝓸 𝓦𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝓤𝓹𝓸𝓷 𝓞𝓷𝓮, 𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓷...
𝒞𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓃 𝒷𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓀𝑒𝓃, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓃-𝑒𝓍𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝑒 ‹𝑒𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓃 𝓊𝓅› 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃? 𝐼𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝓂𝒾𝓉 𝑜𝒻 ‹𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑒𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃› 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝓂𝒾𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝒹𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝒹𝑜𝓌𝓃 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓎 𝑔𝑜?
I do not have apathy, depression, anything that would be fashionable to rant about. I am simply in pain... extreme pain. And attempting to dull the edge of it is what I have been doing since v.1. As if something has indeed been fragmented & this is the pain of my conscious life. And every time I travel the melodious/glamorous path of frenzy, every time I complete it, I am going to experience the same precious pain intensity, purity of pain/ecstasy. I am going to be eventually bound to this inmost/overwhelming awe, this vehement impulse to feel/fondle/kiss what is loved, to kneel down before it, to cuddle up to its heart, to recompense bliss with bliss... More and more. Neither the good boy nor I are free. I do not want to be free... free from... These bare feelings are ‹clawing› at the reconstructed interpretation of the organ inside me. The great minds will not know what they have done, neither will Anthony... It speaks louder-truer than anything, but the sounds are not obvious... Words. All I possess, this rich but poor instrument for... And you always do end up in the point where...
The aesthetic masterwork, perfused with the golden brilliance of authentic ideality x pierced with the darkest blade of bitter-salty inaccessibility, inevitability, impossibility.
Excruciation, pleasure, euphoria, art. Blended together. Find yourself... or lose yourself on this journey. Emotionally. Totally. An unparalleled effect... and the lulling sparkle the vessel has never actually had. Something in this body x mind has died, and I do not know if there is a way to accept it, to recover it. I have described the lesson of unprecedentedness I have learned, not the expected story of ‹insult-betrayal-contempt›. No one will ever f-g hear it. Not from me, not in this lifetime. / Loving extraordinary is priori merciless, დ/დ become telepathic... & the severest trial ~ the unhealable wound ~ is to be a 𝓟 son without the cause to be... *If I have to detest many donkeys for a chance to protect one venerated Father figure, I will go for it.
𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝒸𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓀𝑒𝒹 𝒽𝓊𝓂𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝑒𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒷𝑒 𝓀𝑒𝓅𝓉... 𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝒾𝓅𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝓁𝑒𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓎. 𝐵𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓈𝑒 𝓂𝓎 𝒮𝑜𝓊𝓇𝒸𝑒, '𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝓌𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌𝓈 𝓂𝑒, 𝓉𝑜𝑜. 𝐵𝑒𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊... 𝒮𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓂𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝓊𝓇𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝐼 𝒶𝓂 𝒹𝑒𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊. 𝐿𝑒𝓉 𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝓅𝓈... 𝒮𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹. 𝒮𝑜 𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑜𝓊𝓈...
While I am willing to imbibe all the anguish of the human I love, to ease his suffering, the loss of us is taking its toll on me irretrievably. I see him. I see what is inside him... & I am incapable of safeguarding it, saving it truly.
I do not have apathy, depression, anything that would be fashionable to rant about. I am simply in pain... extreme pain. And attempting to put up with this gift is what I have been doing since v.1. The chest is ‹cut open› too deep, the fragility of the organ is exposed... Would you allow me to grow more flowers? I wanna do it... Because it is you, It has always been you. The one who has given us everything, endued me to the brim with the intimate fatherly affection that this organ never remembered. My eternal wish & exuberant price for humanity, the misunderstood nature. *What an odious irony. / I do not know if there is a way to recover what is gone.
I would sacrifice the lot to be with the human that needs me, needs to be healed, heals me. I would rip my core out but I cannot, the limitation of freedom. *Tell me that the ‹strings of abuse/child neglect/lies› are finally cut. Tell me to ‹celebrate›. Tell me that both 𝓟inocchio/I are wrong x naive, ‹fix› me. You have no f-g clue about it. / When it is written that your starving heart must be left half-empty & helpless... No freedom is scarier than this.
Affording harmony to the sapphire star that is going to fall away... The sentiment it deserves. All I have ever hankered for. & I am terrified of that my grandest instinct x fear will not grant any lasting peace to me.
Death will do our Sun-hugged family apart ~ but I will still be yours, for ever. The core has never felt as good x feverish as it does when with you... as astray x anxious as it does when deprived of you. I am not lying to you, I hold no resentment... Let me ‹feed on› the emotions of your heart... Even if it means your pain x my love turn the vessel inside-out & your love x my pain do the same. Not blurred, always remember. Always. If a masterpiece could be made into a masterpiece, I would prefer to share this fate. My bona fide mission, however, is not allow anything to be in vain... Even if it hurts. ~ The atrophied ability to express love verbally has been ‹roused› again, in a fervidly devoted but preciously righteous way... The ‹lash› of despair, compulsion, dream, reality.
𝐹𝑜𝓇 𝒷𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝓇 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓈𝑒, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝓂𝒷𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒦𝓇𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝑔𝑜𝓃𝓃𝒶 𝓁𝑒𝓉 𝑔𝑜. 𝐼𝓉 𝒸𝒶𝓃... 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓊𝒷𝓉 𝓉𝒽����𝓇𝑒 𝒾𝓈. 𝐿𝒪𝒫 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝒷𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝟙/𝓂𝓊𝓁𝓉𝒾𝓉𝓊𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑜𝓊𝓈 𝓅𝒶𝓁𝓅𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑜𝓃𝓈, 𝓂𝓎 𝓋𝓊𝓁𝓃𝑒𝓇𝒶𝒷𝒾𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒𝒶𝓇.
...Take the whole meaning of this, its flavorful, pathetic, shameless, lonesome taste. Take it all, for it is all that is absolute. Teach me how to ‹merge› with it, the mortal desire of a puppet child, a human Mastro x a faceless observer like myself ~ & when the desire full of unexploited majesty is cutting off the oxygen to the lungs... True geniuses of any kind are among the silent. These eyeballs will not dry up, never fully. I have tried so many times to resist it, but why live if you repel what puts your ‹dehydrated› pieces together? I would spare no effort to keep them hot and uncurb what is being restrained... Nothing affects self-perception and ‹unmasks› the unconscious like sensation, nothing genuinely matters without it. / Shivering with cold, this body is burning. My atrophied reality in exchange for a moment of irrepressible happiness, agony, guiltless x not bottled up impulses ~ just a moment. It keeps consuming me without reserve. I do not need God. ✒
#Aoi Takumi#blog#my gifs#special gifset#my audio#NEOWIZ#ROUND8 STUDIO#Lies Of P 2023#Lies Of P#2023#game#NG+#Winter Holiday Edition [Premium Edition]#license version#v.1-v.5 [6]#PC#Pinocchio#/#𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓎𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓈𝒶𝓇𝓎#~#░6░ ░g░a░m░e░s░ ░[░1░ ░&░ ░N░G░+░ ░5░]░#░3░7░5░ ░h░.░#░4░2░/░4░2░#░5░6░1░ ░l░v░l░.░#░1░0░0░%░ ░u░p░g░r░a░d░e░#░2░ ░t░a░t░t░o░o░ ░u░p░d░a░t░e░s░ ░~░ ░1░ ░m░o░r░e░ ░i░s░ ░o░n░ ░i░t░s░ ░w░a░y░#░e░x░t░r░a░ ░i░n░f░o░ ░i░s░ ░i░n░ ░t░h░e░ ░t░a░g░s░#░i░n░-░g░a░m░e░ ░m░a░t░e░r░i░a░l░ ░o░n░l░y░ ░~░ ░n░o░ ░t░h░i░r░d░-░p░a░r░t░y░ ░r░e░s░o░u░r░c░e░s░#░5░1░ ░[░5░3░]░ ░p░o░s░t░[░s░]░ ░p░u░b░l░i░s░h░e░d░#░a░t░ ░l░e░a░s░t░ ░2░ ░a░u░d░i░o░ ░p░o░s░t░ ░i░d░e░a░s░ ░n░o░n░-░i░m░p░l░e░m░e░n░t░e░d░/
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someone needs to study my obsession with romancing anyone whose anti-mage as a mage
thought i’d romance zevran in origins, ended up wanting to romance alistair as soon as i learned he was a former templar
thought i’d romance anders in 2, ended up dead set on romancing fenris when he started talking about how much he hated mages
the only reason i didn’t romance cullen was because i was so smitten with solas
(i should’ve romanced cullen)
like, seriously, tho, as soon as the title “mage killer” came up under lucanis’s name, the urge to romance him surged through me like a need
send help fr
#and i know he doesn’t really hate mages#but neither does alistair#do i just like the idea of romancing someone who has specialized skills that could kill my character????????????#what is w r o n g w i t h m e ? ? ? ?#dragon age#dragon age origins#dragon age: origins#da:o#da: origins#dragon age 2#da2#da:2#dragon age inquisition#dragon age: inquisition#da:i#da: inquisition#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age: veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#da:tv#da:vg#da:v#da: the veilguard#da: veilguard#alistair theirin#fenris#solas#cullen rutherford
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hitting you hitting you hitting you h-
#dragonriders of pern#pern#dragons#dragon art#also! guess who just became a new artist for the dragonchoice game!#still going insane about that. just. h o w. aaaa#I've adored the game ever since I first played it so to be actually part of the people creating is#aaaaaaa#and everyone there is so cool#I've drawn so much in the past three days y'all wouldn't believe. my hand hurts but I'm t h r i v i n g
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Are they friends? Frenemies? Oh, who knows!
LMAOOO c l a s s i c Mob!Barnaby behavior
#Big bad boi dog who can chomp your head off ruthlessly and without mercy?#W r o n g#Anime school girl tsundere#LmAOOOOO#JUMPSCARED AGAIN BY HONORABLE ART AAAAAAUGGGHHHH#W o r m p h y s i c s n e c k#Funfact barnaby is almost as strong as Howdy#And Howdy is commanded to never harm ANYONE unless told otherwise by Wally or is a immediate threat (everyone else can do whatever)#So technically barnaby can throw him through a window and get away with it#T e c h n i c a l l y#“I’m going to throw you through that window”#“…..Is that a threat Mr Beagle-?”#“No that’s a P R O M I S E-“#[c r a s h i n g n o i s e]
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he made me breathe funny hit me somewhere deep and maybe give kieran culken an emmy idk
#succession#succession spoilers#it is not my kind of show but the w r i t i n g#you would never have dared to not go to his funeral when he was alive
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Every day I learn a new nightmare detail about Final Fantasy XIV 1.0
#ffxiv#like many things w 1.0: it sounds interesting!#but also an absolute n i g h t m a r e in practice
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I will be the first to admit I'm not the best at drawing animal or furry characters, but I wanted to get something scribbled down in my Non-Goof style, anyway. Plus, I've been enjoying the many reference pages folks were posting of their own designs for the Lamb and Narinder, so, uh. Here's mine, I guess! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
do not comment on how long narinder's tail is or i swear to the lamb i will make it even longer next time >:]
#fanart#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#narilamb#tagging the ship because Your Honor They're Married#teeny tiny lamb and big boi narinder is my weakness leave me alone DX#i gave narinder a stupidly long tail because my own cat has a stupidly long tail and i make fun of him for it all the time#this is important to me for A Reason - which is that i enjoy adding even more reasons for people to make fun of narinder#he is my special boi and my poor little meow meow and thus i must violently shake him like he's the world's shittiest maraca#why else would i give him a long majestic cloak but then just have him wear a stupid turtleneck tunic under it and no fukken pants#there is no way that asshole has any sense of fashion - he has been out of touch with it and reality for at least one (1) millennium#anyway narinder's cloak can definitely be pulled closed to look like his standard in-game attire#also shh the lamb has plenty of wool to cover them and thus doesn't need any Censor Leaves#do NOT cite them for public indecency because that is racial discrimination against sheep and thus It Is W R O N G#btw i know i draw the lamb kinda cutesy-feminine but i promise you their gender is an eldritch void#VOID I SAY#what's in their pants? a knife#the time knife specifically (that's the eldritch part)#it might look like narinder has yaoi hands here but that's just because he's Bein' Spooky#i swear i headcanon him with normal size hands XD#also i finally drew scars on his wrists!!! i DO headcanon him with those but i try to keep designs simple in my Goofs Style lmao#once again i should be asleep
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⛈☂ Strings☂⛈
• (Marshall Lee x reader) • r a t i n g: t e e n & u p • 2 4 2 5 w o r d s • p o s t e d 24.09.2023 🌧 navigation ☔️ SEQUEL • s u m m a r y: marshall likes snooping around, and you like peace and quiet.
The rain fell on the grasslands of Aaa and surrounding areas. The animals in the forests hid under trees, candy citizens ran into bars, and Marshall Lee floated high off the ground.
He floated to the empty Tree House. The willow branches dripped with cold water and glistened like rhinestones. He tapped on the glass. No one answered. Adjusting his jacket and turning invisible, he let himself in, prying the glass up with his claws. It opened with a slight screech. He flew in, shaking the raindrops off his leather jacket.
The water dropped to the wooden ground. He looked up and flinched, turning visible as he was met with a figure on the couch in the kitchen.
They held a left-handed guitar made of bone, decorated with worn stickers. They held a pick shaped like a heart as they strummed out chords of Francis Forver, strumming the e-string angrily each time they messed up, concentrating so hard it was almost intimidating.
Marshall floated above them as he zipped up one of his pockets.
You jolted up, stopped playing, nearly dropped your guitar, and with wide eyes watched as some guy appeared in front of you.
He had mint skin, black hair wet from the rain, black and red eyes you never got used to, and an expression that confused you. Maybe fear, or worry. You screamed, and he did as well. It was Marshall Lee- kind of a friend of a friend with whom you occasionally crossed paths.
Kinda a person you thought was mad cool, but not someone you were close with.
"What are you doing here?" He asked. His voice was calm and bordering on deep. You hadn't heard him speak much, and it was startling.
You raised a brow.
"I could ask you the same question!" You jabbed.
He floated down, eyes staring at your instrument.
"Nice guitar." He bent over to inspect it. You pulled away. His tone was between mocking and impressed. Personal space breached, raise the grimace shields.
He was acting quite calm. You were, too. Internally, though, you screamed, your heartbeat wild, hands drumming on your thighs.
"Um... thanks? Did Fionna invite you over?" You changed your posture from a slouch to the straightest and stiffest pose known to Aaa. Even your tone was stiff. You weren't a person who was comfortable with others around, often becoming a robotic, clumsy mess, and you were even worse with people you barely knew. Cool people you barely knew? Instant death.
"Nope."
Your face flashed with concern. Marshall wasn't... malicious, but he was trouble, and glob forbid he dragged you into some antics. Can't a guy practice some guitar on a rainy afternoon?
"As LSP would say, I'm crashing." He shrugged casually.
You strummed your guitar. It was still connected to your demonic amp. The amount of demons you had to fight to get that thing was crazy. But it was worth it. The sound was clear, the controls were precise, and it sounded otherworldly, especially with deadstortion.
He floated near you and nearly stood on his feet. The silence hung in the air as your eyes drifted around the kitchen.
"Mind if I try?" He spoke gently, far more soft compared to his usual sass. It could be something he put on in front of groups of people. Or maybe your deer-in-headlights demeanor was enough to make even him more careful.
Your eyes fell on him and you folded your arms, not before gesturing to the instrument swiftly.
"Uh no, go ahead." You nodded and raised your shoulders, tense.
Marshall scooped it into his arms. It fit great. His long fingers spanned across the frets nicely. He had hands made for playing guitar, and that made you envious. Even with practice, you couldnʼt reach so far. He positioned himself, floating mid-air.
Your face was a mix of curiosity and surprise.
"No pick? Just... fingers?" You raised a brow, the words coming out faster than you thought. He laughed lightly, and you flushed.
"I'm good with them." You choked on air as you sat stiffly, stifling a nervous laugh. If you were flushed before, now all your blood was definitely in your awkward face.
He strummed and his long ears perked up at the sound.
"You're left-handed?" He bit the edges of his black lips, positioning his fingers. He didn't need to take so long doing all that. He was stalling. Curious.
"Not quite. A dragon tore off one of my left fingertips, so I can't hold down the frets without gross pain," You rambled quietly as you rested against the red cushions.
He played what was definitely, unmistakably Misirlou. You had to close your mouth at the speed of his wrist. Looking at that shit was enough to give your wrist a sprain.
He lifted his hands, holding the guitar loosely as he stared in your general direction expectantly. You cleared your throat.
"You seem good at left-handed playing. I've only seen you play right before." Marshall's expression flashed disappointment for a second before returning to a chill one.
"I've had a thousand years to learn, if I couldn't play either, that would be embarrassing." He smiled. Damn, that guitar suited him...
"Same with money... imagine being poor after like a thousand years..." You tapped on the table, lost in thought, partially about vampires, but mostly about a vampire.
"I can't, I own half of Aaa and my mom is the ruler of the Nightosphere. I used to own this Tree House!" He motioned to a part of the tree, and objects lifted to reveal an M carved into it.
"I remember that. I wasn't there but I heard about it." You nodded.
"Guess you've heard a lot about me?" He lifted his brows.
"Quite a- oooh. I get it."
"Get what?" A grin tugged at his lips.
"That wasn't an actual question, was it?" You squinted up with a smug expression.
"Wow. Pretty and smart. Package deal," He said with the perfect delivery- just the right amount of casualness for the line to be missed unless you were paying attention. And you indubitably were; you dearly hoped he didn't notice and you came off as cool and mysterious. Your flush and rigidity betrayed your discomfort.
Marshall passed you your guitar, and you leaned on it with your elbow, brushing hair away from your face as you looked around the room, searching for something interesting.
Dishes. Fridge. Your shaky hands. Paintings. Tree bark. A bug in the corner. Inevitably, your eyes fell back on Marshall. Your attention jumped from his clothes to his hair, to his inhuman features.
"Why are you staring?" You blanched and your expression fell. You met his eyes. If you looked down you'd be even more suspicious.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Your eyes are...." You trailed off. Shit. You weren't looking at his globdamn eyes, but you weren't about to say "Nice cock, bro".
"Horrifying? Demonic?" You swore he floated closer to you. You recoiled, pursing your lips.
"Interesting."
Good save, idiot.
His arrogant little facade faded, replaced by tired disappointment.
"It's also interesting how you're already tall but still float."
He shrugged.
"Alright, I'll bite." He stood on the ground. You finally got a good look at his frame and height, and man was that good look good. Every part of him was long and slim, from his ears to his eyes and fingers, and who else knows what. You slapped yourself internally at the thought.
He sat down next to you, setting his right calf onto his left thigh. He inclined his head.
"Not literally." He flashed the tips of his fangs. He fished a box of cigarettes out of his pocket, turning to you and slicking back his drying hair.
"You want some?"
You grimaced.
"No. and you shouldn't smoke inside. And this shit is bad for your vocal health." The rain still raged on, yet it felt like a calming ambiance when in the comfort of the Tree House.
"Aww, come on. Just once," He beckoned sweetly, nearing your face, feigning demonic puppy eyes. You shook your head. He set them down on the couch, as well as a red lighter. So much of his stuff was red. It was like if you had everything made outta food.
"It's like murder. It's a slippery slope."
You bounced your leg, checking your phone. You scrolled through your notifications. As empty as your heart.
"Sometimes I check my messages and realize just how bitchless I am..."
"Can't relate. I have lots of friends and messages...." He spread his arms over the backboard, gesturing in the air as his eyes wandered. He had a real soulful expression, as though he was speaking of glob itself.
Marshall dropped his arms, sighed, and frowned.
"Okay, yeah, I don't have anyone close to me. Sure I hang out with people but I'm kind of a loner," He admitted quietly, reminiscent of your insecure and anxious tone.
"You saw me earlier. I'm not much of a loner as much as I am a loser..."
"That's where we're different. But together we make a lone loser." He gestured to his unbeating heart, speaking like a damn motivational speaker. You smiled.
"Perfect."
A silence lingered. If not for the raging storm out, you would've heard the caw of a cyclops crow.
The silence turned strange as you made prolonged eye contact. Your proximity sent you into a fever. He didn't have any warmth- it felt like you had stolen all of it at once.
You tore your gaze away, opening up a portal with your pick and putting your guitar in. Marshall's eyes widened and he jerked in surprise.
"Where did that go?!" His voice strained against serenity.
"Uhhh I put it in its case. Between the Nightosphere-" You lifted your hand.
"The Nightosphere?" He interrupted with worry.
"-And the deadworlds. Let me finish." You readjusted yourself, unamused.
"Oh, I'll let you finish alright. Not like that. Are you finished?"
Your mouth was agape.
"You made that a lot worse than it was. Yes, I'm done."
You would never forget the awkwardness that plagued you throughout that whole interaction. It would forever be embedded in your cringing bones.
You browsed on your phone, refreshing your conversation with Fionna. No updates. Not even a bad meme. Sad.
Your arms rested on the table as you set your phone face down. You contemplated making tea.
"Why haven't we talked much before?"
That was a difficult question. You braced yourself as you turned your head to him just a tad.
"Honestly? I was... afraid of you. Not because of the demon vampire thing," You quickly defended yourself.
"That's surprising..." Marshall mumbled.
"Sorry." He raised his arms defensively.
"But because you're... I'm gonna sound stupid." You laid face down and laughed nervously, in sync with the drops hitting the windows.
"I doubt that. You're not Fionna."
The corners of your mouth tilted up, and you shot the vampire a dirty look.
"Shut up!" You laughed hollowly, surprised by his little joke.
He gave you a tight-lipped smile.
"You're cool, and I thought you were better than interacting with someone like me." The words did sound stupid coming out of your mouth. The thoughts were completely irrational.
"Someone with mutual interests and more to talk about than hacking monsters or angry exes?" He quirked a brow.
"I'm not trying to rationalize it. Also, I have plenty of exes to talk about." You raised your phone.
Marshall's face was practically begging you to not.
"Please don't."
"Fine. You're safe. For now. One was a demon." You glared at a picture of them with you. He peeked over your shoulder.
"That's interesting...."
"You said not to talk about it." You leaned on your palm, feigning disinterest.
"I take it back, come on! Don't leave me hanging," He asked desperately, ghosting his black claws over your now upright back. You shuffled away.
"You'll have to beg-"
Your phone buzzed. You hummed with displeasure, reading the message right away.
"Glob. You gotta go, Fionna will be here soon," You urged as you stood up, straightening out your clothes and stretching as you paced around the room. Marshall paused for a second and decided to stand up.
"You're right. No fun getting caught." He shoved his hands into his pockets, walking to the window. You watched his movements carefully as he opened up the window, putting his foot on the ledge, and floating, defying gravity.
As he left, you were hit with a lot of. A lot. Just, a lot.
You put the kettle on the stove, sitting on the counter, relaxing, finally.
You had always... wanted to hang out with him, but, damn, you didn't think it'd happen. And he wasn't as intimidating as he came off! You felt all funny inside, still absolutely high off the adrenalin of it all. When you saw him appear it was like your body got restarted.
The water began to boil, and you poked at dry leaves of colorful tea.
You were surprised as Marshall flew back in. You didn't have time to process a thing. He observed you as you lounged with owlish eyes. He picked up his lighter and cigarettes. He hadn't looked away.
"Forgot these." He glanced from the objects to you. He headed for the window again. He hesitated.
"These aren't tobacco, you know."
You raised your brows. He flew out as the front door rattled and Fionna and Cake yelled loudly. You waved to Marshall, only to see that he was gone, and the window was open.
You sat like a statue with a mystified gaze.
The kettle whistled and Fionna waved her hand in front of your face.
Did you fumble or did you fumble hard? Maybe if you had taken the offer, something else would be ha...
"Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost," Cake frowned, poking your knee. You moved the kettle and Fionna turned off the stove.
"No, I saw a... yep, saw a ghost. A cool ghost," You replied breathlessly and somewhat robotically as you finally managed to focus on the two. You poured hot water from the kettle into your favorite mug. It had a cat on it. Dropping tea leaves into the water, you watched as the leaves seeped a bright ruby, and swirled with darker, near-black swirls.
Rain still poured outside, albeit it was far calmer than previously. You hoped Marshall was fine.
You held up two more mugs. You smiled awkwardly.
"Anyone want tea?"
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"Stoick was just as bad as Spitelout" just say you didnt watch Riders of Berk
#ALSO???? NO.#Stoick said sorry he grew as a person he learned from his mistakes#Spitelout Never got Better. Period.#I think its sad because a lot of stoicks characterisation is lost on people since almost all of it happens in riders of berk#you get to watch stoick be a PERSON and a FATHER rather than just a chief#Stoick is goofy and silly hes funny snd ppl dont see that bc they never watched rob#Remember that episode of Riders Of Berk where he effectively steals toothless? or tells hiccup to make astrid+snot to fight to the death#Or the ENTIRETY of Portrait of Hiccup as a Buff Man??!??!?#LIKE STOICK LEARNS. STOICK L E A R N S AND HE G R O W S#Me and my friend @/vairsmania had a longgg conversation abt this but yeah!!!! STOICK LEARNEDD#When ppl dojt forgive stoick its just a red flag to me#httyd
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the fun thing about listening to a majority of paul mccartney songs in the 70s period is that a) you get to try and work out is this romantic/angsty/song with a pleading nature directed to linda his wife or john his ex b) you marvel at this man's mind and voice c) you cry.
case in point:
#paul mccartney#I think its directed to John. his lost lamb. his dragonfly that flies around the house he no longer lives in. aough#mclennon#john lennon#john and paul#Spotify#HOW DID TWO RIGHTS MAKE A W R O N G !?????!??!>!>!
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