#get in kids we're gonna kill god
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
hyrulesfav · 2 months ago
Text
♟️🐈‍⬛ is so perfect to me because they just. Get. each other. also they come into the relationship with kids who aren't their kids but one of them is basically their kid so they fall asleep watching bluey or blues clues a lot
#♟️ 🖇️ 🐈‍⬛#🐈‍⬛ 🖇️ 🐈‍⬛#grim 'i'm not a kid! i'm basically the same age as the other guys!' of w.akanda#its ok grim i fall victim to kids tv to 😔#anyways#i think. when they get older (maybe way prior to when they get married) elvira presents grim to her Mother and is like 'look at him! you've#accepted him as your son for over fifty years! he has been my son for longer. you should totally let me and leona skip having kids since we#both only agreed on one'#and then her Mother is like 'lmao i love both of you but i am a fertility goddess for a reason so :)'#and boom the twins and then they're done#i dont think they get married until after their kids are grown though#there's def some pressure from his family but hers really dgaf lmao#besides i think after a certain point it gets to where hes spending 85% of his time in the multiverse and its somewhat better over there#(ignoring that it is. in fact. a m.arvel universe.)#he goes back to t.wst one day n gets hit with the 'well well well look what the monkey dragged in' and he immediately responds with 'i dont#want to be here. my gf and her family forced me to leave for my own safety or wtv'#anyways.#🐅 🖇️ 🌬️ 🖇️ 🐍 🖇️ 🐈‍⬛#i love the idea of the lesbians (aave-l) including leona in their relationship despite him being a Man#i think the transition into him being apart of the relationship was as seamless as it was for him n elvira to finally get together#in terms of accepting him i think it was elvira -> aimil -> valentine -> ainya -> leilani (after some time)#(leilani tried to kill him multiple times i just know)#they all go back to t.wst with him one day and someone turns to leona and is like 'wow. you sure have been collecting some lovers'#'actually i haven't. we're more like their (elvira and aimil's) lovers. they've been collecting us like strays' because is he wrong?#i think the only thing that sets them apart is that while aave-l are married in the eyes of the gods. he's not#bc. yh. while his lifespan is extended greatly. its because of radiation exposure#he hasnt died or been reborn/resusitated by any of them and i think they'd rather keep it that way lmao#they also def keep his phantom around for funsies lmao#elvira 'yeah i kinda kept some of their phantoms cause they looked so sad they were gonna disappear :( they've been living with me on#ramshackle grounds n helping out so maybe they could help out here' of w.akanda
2 notes · View notes
essektheylyss · 2 years ago
Text
Reading about the trend of increasingly higher-priced auction sales of VHS tapes and other "antiquated" media and technology and I'm reminded of what might be my most viciously-held unpopular/hot take: I absolutely fucking loathe nostalgia as an unchecked, unexamined pathos response.
28 notes · View notes
mrsmarlasinger · 2 years ago
Text
My manager at the call center isn't gonna be here for the rest of the week. Nor is our office manager. I'm gonna throw up. Like I'm literally nauseous with dread
#it's JUST me and my one coworker because they fired coworker libby a few weeks ago#we're so fucked oh my god like#i ask my manager for shit ALL THE TIME oh my goddddd#i don't even have permission to use bonding slots for ortho emergencies omfg i'm gonna actually kill myself#and i took 53 calls on monday?? calls take like 5–10min usually & there's only 480 minutes in a work day?? and now we're down one person??#i was literally physically ill with stress today having to constantly call people back and i only took 43 calls#(7 of which were 10–20min new patient calls which each require like a good 15+ min of follow-up as well. but i digress)#i also got a call that was just fifteen seconds of BLOODY MURDER SCREAMING until i got way too scared and hung tf up. jfc#(which i thought that was one of those scam calls where they just play audio of a woman screaming for her fucking life#but it came from a patient's parent's phone number?? so idk??????)#(sometimes i hear kids screaming in the background cuz it's a pediatric dentistry but this was something different.#no talking just horrific screaming for over ten seconds straight. oh my god)#anyway on the OFF chance we have ANY free time tomorrow taking 80+ calls on our own. we'll have to spend it CALLING BACK MISSED CALLS#AND I'LL NEVER GET MY FUCKING NEW PATIENTS IN. GOD#ONLY 56 HOURS OF THIS JOB LEFT. CHRIST A-FUCKING-LIVE. PARENTS ARE GONNA BE MAD AT ME AND ORTHO COORDINATOR CANDI WILL YELL AT ME#AND I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF. I HATE MY JOB AND I HATE THIS FUCKING DENTISTRY. GODDDDDD#personal#work shit#work blogging#work
5 notes · View notes
skrunksthatwunk · 2 years ago
Text
world's thinnest walls versus parents' stupidest argument
#hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby#no one should be this angry about star wars#it's like theyre in the same room as me and theyre a floor below me#theyre not good roommates :|#like. they're literally echoing#this house is gonna fall apart and it's gonna be george lucas' fault#if im like hey you guys are loud there's like a 70% chance theyll be like Ok What Is Your Problem We're Not Being That Loud#god the other day my mom was eating something while i was at a computer and she leaned over my shoulder and i was like hey#could you please not chew in my ear#because it's been established for YEARS that i have a really big problem with the ol mastication#and she's like 🙄🙄🙄 honey. dont. i wasnt chewing in your ear and my mouth was closed#maybe she was like 8 inches away from my ear. i still fucking felt that viscerally!! leave me alone i dont want my tics to act up#i will convulse. fuckign get away from me i have to scrub my eardrums now#child's politest request vs mother's complete inability to accommodate needs she doesnt personally relate to/understand#(my dad's not much better i just dont try with him bc he's like. a debate bro. and he's gone half the time anyway)#they also share a complete inability to see any symptoms in me or my brothers which is Not Good for literally all of us#my mom's just a little more frustrating bc she's a psych major so she thinks she knows everything. like. mom#you CANNOT be arguing with me about whether or not the r slur was always ableist and then be like psh. that kid's not autistic theyre just#self dxing to account for their other problems. i know this bc ive been around them their whole lives (infrequently and with little depth)#so imagine if i did that. i would be killed on sight i would never be able to speak to her again im not kidding it would be so so awful#thing is I'd probably believe her too. hell on earth#you dont act like my professor told me autistic ppl act in the 90s. gonna have to zap you with my death ray (forcing you to argue in#defense of your experiences which we didnt notice or invalidated at the time)#im not even 100% sure im autistic. but the fact that i cant talk to her means idk if i can talk to an actual doctor about it bc im still a#dependent and she'd probably be there with me.#I'd have to get a doctor on board or she'd NEVER believe me. how the hell am i supposed to do that#god. whatever#idek if i wanna get diagnosed but i want her to believe me. i want to be able to talk about what i need bc if i dont have a good enough#reason (my comfort is not reason enough) then she never will. and it'll get worse. it sucks basically#she's fucking doctor autism apparently and can sniff em out. christ almighty she's unbearable sometimes
4 notes · View notes
squorttle-pox · 7 months ago
Text
so glad you included those "y̴̨͚̙͎͓̞͍̯͒̚͜ọ̵̢͈̲͓̤̝̠̄̔ǘ̴̦͇̲̜̩̮̫͈̯͓͖͍̋̿̋̾͂̅̾̋͆̒͐́̚͝͝'̷̨̝͚̞̤̲̟̜̳̩̭͓̺͛r̸̠̯̲̊̽̅͋ȩ̷̘̟̦̟̠͖̬̰̗̈̽̇́̓͜ ̴̨̛͇̥͔̼̗̹͇̺͈̥̩͙̥̦͓͖͇͇͒̀̓̄͋̈́̎͆̀̔̈́̆̕s̶͗̿̐̄͌͛͛̈͋͛̿͘l̸̨̠̻̲͓̭͈̰͈͎͈͔͇̳͗̔͜ó̸̼̣̠̒̇p̸̙̰͇̯͕̒̂̽̓̆̎͗͒̓̅̄̄̚p̴̧̘̲̪͔̻͒ͅy̸̡̛̦̺̹͔͎͓̺̰̫̓͐̈́̓͋͋͘̚͠ͅͅͅ" frames. when that part happened i thought i went into a coma and it was the Radiant Light beckoning me to cross the Threshhold. if a picture is worth a thousand words, that moment is worth a thousand sacrifices. even through the screen i could feel the true meaning of Smooth. i am asexual but is this what lust feels like
and his eyes. oh, his e y e s. they ought to be classified as their own entity. those pupils alone, with all their different shapes and sizes, are enough to melt all my bones into goopy sludge
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
He is so gorgeous, such a looker. Every frame he looks so good, he can look so fucking demonic, he still looks so good, every frame of him can literally be a wallpaper, people talk shit about his hair, and I will admit the back is atrocious, like come on grow it out, or some. But I still low-key fuck with it, low-key low-key! The front I mean, it looks so bouncy, soft, and thick, and I just LOVE MEN with long-ish hair, it's the death of me. Please Viv don't kill him off, PLEASE!!! He is the best. Can't wait to see more of this dapper fellow in season 2, it's gonna be GREAT! I bet he has his mother's eyes, they're so pretty. That'd be so cute, I want him to see his mom, even if for one time, and one time only...I'd actually start crying.
#most down bad alastor fan?#hardly#and if we're confessing to our haircut-related sins...#i too will admit that l o w k e y it really suits him#like yes OF COURSE the perfect princess man is gonna have something obviously and horrifically disgusting about his appearance#it's just such an alastor vibe#yes he wakes up each day purely to slay harder than everybody else#but also the sight of him evokes violent urges because WHY THE WHAT THE FUCK BRO. like what if!!! he ASKED the barber for it.#what is hell gonna do? attack him for it?? nuh-uh he'll fucking kill them it's like a power move almost#he upsets everyone on purpose BECAUSE they cant do anything about it. he makes himself painful to be around. it is purposeful#he a lil prankster and he prolly sings himself to sleep with thoughts of the relief random sinners must have when he finally turns to leave-#-them alone Only to be met with.... that. thing.#it just feels very in character for him idk how to explain it properly tho#and either way#THE FUCKASS BOB IS A GOOD THING#because otherwise he'd run the risk of heaven opening their gates and sending a legion of God's Greatest Soldier Boys[gn] to eliminate him#(out of Jealousy)(they couldnt handle one lone sinner being superior (aesthetically) to the entirety of Heaven and Goodness)(cowards)#okay sorry i ranted there but yeah and also it. matches. the. hem. of. his. coat. they. are. the. same. shape. it is poetic.#oh and not to mention he has the 2000s emo kid side-swept bangs#AND HE PULLS IT OFF#every so often i am confused why i cant remember how alastor parts his hair. then i recall that the madlad simply doesnt#(originally ...recall with a jolt to my pussy... [joke] but i dont want ppl thinking im *actually* getting soaked from ~hair~ of all things)
137 notes · View notes
hurtspideyparker · 6 months ago
Text
In a timeline where Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lives in the compound:
Steve, walking into the living room: Don't worry Buck I think you'll really fit in around here. Everyone is super nice
Peter: Oh my god you're living here too?! Can I please look at your arm? Please please please please please-
Bucky: *turns around and leaves*
-
Clint: So... wanna test if your spider-sense defeats my perfect aim?
Peter: Oh my god do I ever
Tony & Steve: NO.
-
Peter: Hi. Big fan. Y'know we're like a spider duo. Crime fighting spiders. Arachnid pals
Natasha, staring blankly:
Peter: Web friends? SPY-ders?
Natasha:
Peter: Spinneret associates?
Natasha: Leave.
Peter: Yes okay sorry ma'am
-
During a meal:
Bucky: *glaring at Sam*
Sam: Ay Rogers come get your dog
Steve: Bucky, leave it
Bucky: *glares down at soup instead*
-
Peter: Mr. Rogers could you help me with my homework?
Tony: What the hell kid, I'm right here
Bruce: I have... so many degrees
Steve: Hey I know a thing or two myself. Sure Queens, what do you got?
Peter: Great! I'm just gonna ask some questions for my essay. What would you say the role of war propaganda was in your decision to enroll in the military? Was being poor a factor? Actually, how was the Great Depression for you?
Steve: Less depressing than this conversation.
-
Steve: Take a jacket, it's chilly
Wanda: Okay thanks dad
Steve:
Wanda:
Peter: Ha! That's so embarrassing, it's like calling your teacher dad
Wanda: Shut up Peter, you call Tony dad all the time
Peter: Yeah but I do it on purpose so it's not embarrassing. I'm very open about my daddy issues
-
Tony: I wanna punch you in your perfect teeth
Steve:
Tony: Looking at me with your angelic blue eyes, like a freak
Steve:
Tony: Stupid Dorito ass build. Making me wanna take a bite
Steve: I feel harassed but I'm not sure what kind
-
Natasha: Hey bird brain!
Clint and Sam both turn:
Natasha: Hm, that's a problem. You have thirty seconds to decide who gets bird brain. The other will be feather head
Clint and Sam: *start arguing*
Tony: I can't believe they're fighting to be called an insult
Steve: She has that effect on people
Peter: Aw man, I wish the Black Widow gave me a nickname :(
-
Peter: Hey old man
Bucky:
Peter: I'M SO SORRY SIR MR. WILSON MADE ME DO IT PLEASE DONT KILL ME
Sam: *cackling in the background*
Bucky: *stands up and turns to Sam*
Sam: Oh shit- kid you're not getting the money if you're gonna snitch!
Peter: That's okay, I'd like to think my life is worth more than twenty bucks
-
Bucky: I need your... help
Tony: Sure, what's up?
Bucky: *glances back at Steve who stands in the doorway and nods approvingly*
Bucky: Arm.
Tony: Ok... this conversation is killing you isn't it?
Bucky:
Tony: Say please
Bucky: Nope can't do it-
Steve: Do I need to get out the get-along shirt?
*Bucky and Tony share a look of alarm*
Bucky: Please fix my arm
Tony: Yep of course no problem buddy
-
Read Part 2 and Part 3
5K notes · View notes
Text
i love how as you read more into tlt, the ninth house seems more and more normal. Like if i'm at an immoral evil government competition, and i use human fat as soap and animate skeletons to do menial labor, i'm gonna LOSE if my competition is the third house, represented by ianthe "who HASN'T eaten human flesh and fucked a corpse" tridentarius. My weird skeleton thing seems normal, suddenly. Well-adjusted, even. It's recycling. They're using resources in a sustainable way. Normal and regular and productive for a post-climate change apocalypse universe.
People go on and on about how Muir drops you into gtn hearing from the person who knows the least about whats happening, and does not hand hold the reader through the crazy shit that occurs, and that's all true. It truly is a crazy writing decision to make your first pov character come from the universe's equivalent of amish fundamentalists. But the reader is actually done a huge favor being dropped into the ninth house first, because we already understand that space is cold and what catholic nuns are, and what goths look like, and what lesbians are. Very little time is wasted in the first chunk of gtn ripping hair out of your head wondering what the fuck is going on, because for all of its strangeness, the ninth house is already the most familiar thing we're gonna get.
Because THEN we learn that this whole universe's medieval chivalry system is designed to groom people from CHILDREN to not only be exploited and used as human batteries for necromancers, but to LIKE it. to wax poetic about it. to confuse it for love, to write fucking academic papers about it! Then we learn about planet flipping, an act so horrific and violent it turns the planet's soul into a massive vengeful monster capable of killing GOD. Like what do you MEAN the animals "change"? Is this why noodle has six legs? I would MUCH prefer to wear skeleton makeup and repent forever if the alternative was to witness my family dog grow TWO EXTRA LIMBS because the planet he lived on fucking died. Suddenly, living in the asscrack of a planet where no light gets in seems like a sweet deal when the whole solar system is lit by a sun that MAKES YOU GO CRAZY. The ninth house's WORST sin, killing 200 babies to make Harrow, a waste of resources and an act so terrible it haunts Harrow for the entire span of her life, is like a BLIP compared to the death count Jod's empire. God even hears about it and he's like, no big deal! The cohort probably kills that amount of people in a DAY.
And its ALSO tragic because you realize that all of this trauma and abuse that Gideon goes through is not really because of the ninth house at all. It's really just an individual skill issue that she wasn't treated with compassion. Nobody hated her because she's jesus or a bomb, nobody even KNOWS she's a bomb. It's just Priamhark and Pelleamena being deeply guilty and scared people that motivates her treatment, and absolutely nothing else.
They did something bad, and they know it, and Gideon survived it, and they can't kill her to cover it up, and that's IT. They killed themselves for pride, because they were afraid of the consequences of their actions (both the baby killing and Harrow opening the tomb) coming back to bite them. You can argue this is the catholicism of it all, and I wouldn't say you're wrong, but compared to the cavalier system, where exploitation is in the very lining of the house's institutions, the ninth house is really removed from the space empire's blood factory. This is compared to the fourth house where they have tons of children to be CANNON FODDER to join the cohort at fucking 14, compared to the eight house uncle nephew fuckery, even the fifth house which actually does seems nice to live on but also seems to have the fourth house in some sort of fucked up political bear hug??? (maybe the fourth house has so many kids in order to fight the fifth's battles? which is EXACTLY what jod's whole empire is about; politely stirring your tea and acting nice while you destroy everything) compared to ALL OF THAT, the cruelty that Gideon faces is really more a bug of the ninth's system than a feature.
There's nothing baked into the culture and everyday life of the ninth house that necessitated that cruelty; in fact, for such a pragmatic and resource-scarce place, it's WEIRD that a strong able-bodied young person was treated like a waste of space and resources. It could just have easily not happened, if Harrow's parents had been different people. Maybe they were products of their environment, but so was Harrow, and she values Gideon's life SO MUCH that she'd literally rather carve out parts of her own brain than exploit her. Gideon grows up knowing really NOTHING about cavaliers, so remote from the horrors of the empire that she develops an idea of what the cohort is from porn magazines. And in a lot of ways, that upbringing was desolate and terrible, and in a lot of other ways it literally DID NOT HAVE TO BE.
Gideon's MAIN THING is that she wants to be useful, to be needed, to be loved and it SUCKS that she couldn't even get it in the one place where she was actually an invaluable resource, where the death empire had the weakest reach. Gideon can't even blame her lack of love on the fucked up chivalry system like everyone else can because it JUST WASNT REALLY RELEVENT!?!?! This is like if i rolled up to the trauma competition and everyone else was raised in a nuclear warzone by wolves or something and i grew up in like, the suburbs and was raised by teachers and i somehow STILL WON. truly what the fuck guys.
2K notes · View notes
lxnarphase · 1 month ago
Note
I NEED MORE FRATBOYS! GETO AND GOJO
✮₊‧⁺...lunar's note: im being self indulgent and im not sorry at all so enjoy a lil blurbie :33
✮₊‧⁺...content: fratboys!stsg x fem!reader, mentions of weed use, breeding kink, wet and messy, dirty talk, overstimulation, dumbification, teasing, degradation, mentions of birth control
Tumblr media
"aww...satoru, you're gonna break the poor thing."
suguru's soft hand moves to push some of your hair out of your face, a coo leaving him as he watched your eyes try to focus on him. you're just too cute for your own good, looking up at him with those teary eyes while satoru fucks you like a bunny in heat.
poor thing...you wouldn't be walking right for a while after this.
in a weak attempt to comfort you, suguru leans down after taking a hit from the joint hanging loosely from his fingers, blowing the smoke in your face. he knew it wouldn't do much to help your fucked out state, but you just looked so cute when you pouted at him for it.
"goddamn, satoru. you're fucking her like you're trying to get her pregnant," suguru chuckles as he exhales more smoke out of his nose, eyes following as it dissipates in the air. "stop tryna breed the poor thing , y' gonna kill 'im."
the room goes silent and suguru knows he's made a mistake. making such comments around the satoru gojo only ends up with trouble...
satoru looks down at you, eyes wide and wild, almost looking as if they were glowing.
pregnant?
you can't get pregnant, you're on birth control and never miss a pill, it wouldn't take, he thinks with a huff of a laugh.
but...the thought of trying to knock up his darling best friend who's already fucked so dumb does something to satoru. and that's when it clicks in his brain, his mouth dropping open in a little gasp.
"b-breed...i-i'm gonna fuckin' breed you," he whispers, an evil grin breaking out on his face. "hoooh my fuckin' god, baby girl, i'm gonna breed ya all fuckin' night," satoru groans, lifting your legs up over his shoulders as his hips start to move again.
those broken whimpers and whines from you turn to gasps and hiccupped cries as satoru presses even deeper into you, so desperate to make sure you can't feel, smell, taste, or process anything but his cock abusing your insides.
"'t-toru, s'toruuuu," you drool, plush lips parted as moans constantly pour out from you. "d-don' fuck me like that, i-i'm gonna make a mess! s-s'toruuuu!"
suguru can only hope the music from downstairs is loud enough to cover up the sounds you're making that are accompanied by the nasty, squelching sounds of that tight, sloppy cunt gushing the mixture of your slick and suguru's cum.
but...would that be so bad?
if everyone could hear how cute you sound crying out for both of them? knowing that none of them ever have a chance with you? his thick cock twitches a little, the exhibitionist in him clearly liking through that.
"tsk, tsk, tsk...you both are nasty, y'know that?"
suguru leans back down next to you again, able to watch both of your expressions. the way your body trembles from overstimulation, unsure if you want more pleasure or want a break, your hips jerking with each of satoru's deep, unforgiving thrusts.
"ohh, but you could never be a desperate lil' slut like satoru is, could you, sweet angel? look at those tears...poor thing, we're corruptin' you aren't we?"
he reaches out, brushing away some of the tears just to lick it off his thumb. "you can take it, angel girl, you can take 'toru's big, stupid cock in that pretty little cunt."
he's mean, so so mean and unfair. not just to you, but to satoru too. he's barely holding it together, the mixture of the primal need to fuck a baby into you and the heat in his lower belly from suguru's teasing too much for him.
"fuck, f-fuck, baby, wanna fill y'up, wanna give you my kids! i-i'll take such good care of you, y'know that, right," he pants, voice husky and desperate. those baby blue eyes are unusually dark, watching as his cock disappears inside your creamy cunt over'n'over, a pitiful little whine falling from his lips.
"y-yeah, yeah, yeah, imma...i-imma get you nice and—fuck, don' squeeze yet—a-an' round, mama, then we'll propose at graduation s' everyone knows you're me 'n' sugu's, you wan' that, baby?"
oh, that expression your wearing nearly sends him spiraling into insanity. he can practically see those hearts floating in your eyes as you nod almost drunkenly, your hands shakily finding themselves into his hair.
"m-mm! wan' your baby in me, g-gimme a pretty one," you pout, tugging his hair just right. satoru just lets out a crazed laugh, his eyes wide and manic.
oh boy...what did you just agree to?
"y-yeah? h-hehe, yeah? knew you wanted it, knew y'fuckin' wanted it," he groans, smashing your lips together in a sloppy, wet kiss, tongue sliding against yours noisily. "me 'n' sugu gonna take turns breedin' this pussy, mama, 's okay? never gonna be empty, even after y' get that thing removed, gonna have ya full all. day. long."
suguru just chuckles and shakes his head, one of his hands trailing up satoru's spine. the way his hips stutter inside you is adorable.
"mm, that would be nice. the pretty angel feeling out cum sloshing around her pretty tummy all day in class, having to talk to professors while it drips out of her gooey little cunt, getting those panties all messy? mm, sounds like a dream come true,'' suguru purrs, leaning in closer to satoru's ear.
"who knows...maybe if you cum enough, she won't even have t' stop taking her pills...maybe it won't be able to work if you flood her pussy with enough cum."
you keen as you get folded in half, the tip of his cock knocking again something that makes your tummy squeeze. poor satoru, he's got pleased tears in his own eyes now, just suguru's words nearly making him explode inside, his balls aching, needing to empty themselves inside you where all his cum belonged.
"get deep, get real deep in her, satoru, kiss her cervix f'me, pretty boy...'n' make sure you kiss it niiice and deep when you cum, okay? let's see if we can breed her t'night."
2K notes · View notes
vilnmelling · 8 months ago
Text
NPMD Digital Ticket details!
Since not every can/can afford to/wants to buy the Digital Ticket for Nerdy Prudes Must Die (and the bonus material that comes with the purchase), for your inclusion purposes, here's a list of fun background details, funny moments and comments made in the track commentary, for you to use however you like!
Ruth doesn't actually need to wear her headgear anymore, but she wears it anyway because it makes her feel safe.
Jeff pitched a Nightmare Time episode about the problematic puppy from Steph's verse of High School Is Killing Me, meaning there is a story there.
In the line, "I learned that at the anti bullying assembly last month, fucknugget!" there's a long pause before "Fucknugget!" which really makes it sound like Max forgot to insult Richie and just threw the word out.
All of the little noises Ruth makes, she makes because she has more she wants to say, but she can't say them (presumably due to anxiety).
In the proshot, you can't see fully how low Richie goes while he and Ruth sneak up on Peter, but Jon is fully crouched down. He then uses Pete's pockets and elbows to climb up like he's climbing a mountain (he mimes using a pick or axe to get good hold).
While Steph is talking, Ruth and Richie try their best to hear through the phone by getting as close as they can to it.
The reason Max and Jason were in the Pasqualli's parking lot is that they were practicing their skateboarding. They do that at Pasqualli's instead of at school/at a skatepark because they don't want the smoke club and skater kids to make them look like noobs. (This was a cut bit from the Pasqualli's scene).
The line, "Some big... dumb... sexy... football star" is expanded. In the Digital Ticket, Grace says, "Some big... dumb... sexy... sweaty... hot... well-spoken... beautifully tall football star."
When they're in the boys bathroom, Steph jumps to see over the stalls.
Richie Naruto runs when they're going to Waylon Hall. Pete slaps his hands down, but after they pause to look at the house, Richie looks over his shoulders at Pete a couple of times before darting away from him, once again Naruto running.
Richie stops in the door at the Waylon Place, so Pete pushes him inside.
Ruth and Richie speak at the same time when they say, "I'm allergic to deodorant" and "I have overactive sweat glands."
Ruth goes straight to Richie to complain after the "pus in my pits" exchange with Steph.
When Steph suggests saying there's a party at the Waylon Place, Pete, Ruth and Richie all react negatively (mostly nervously groaning).
While Grace sings the "He's just a nerd in disguise!" line, Richie can be seen practicing the first move of the Bully the Bully dance.
After Ruth says, "We're gonna cut off his nips!" you can see Steph look confused and ask, "What?"
While Pete and Richie talk in the Waylon Place ("Am I reading as ghost or Lin Manuel Miranda" & "She came all the way out here just for you."), Ruth and Steph discuss and practice Ruth's skeleton moves.
Richie gets stuck in the dangling parts of Pete's costume when he says, "You could just hit it and quit it, bro!" He then aggressively detangles himself.
The line "He's just really fucking brave!" comes from Richie being jealous that he's not that brave.
Richie hypes Ruth up a bit after Max says her skeleton bit was really special.
Grace hides behind Ruth while Max is dying.
Richie rolls his eyes when Grace says "It was an act of god!" (Similarly, Shapiro sighs and looks away in disbelief when Grace later says "It was god's plan!")
Pete gags when Grace says "Hack all his limbs off." Richie can also be seen gagging and holding his stomach several times.
Ruth hands Max's nipples over to Grace after cutting them off.
Jeff Blim is the principal of Hatchetfield High. Not a character of Jeff's, just Jeff himself.
Brenda still seems quite judgmental after the two weeks have passed. She makes a lot of not-quite-friendly faces when the football team's talking about Richie smelling bad.
When Richie struggles to remove the Zeke the Fightin' Nighthawk costume, he accidentally removes his jacket as well, leading to Jon having to put it back on (which he also struggles with) (and which creates a funny situation, since Richie was supposed to go shower).
Richie seems to have hurt his leg by the second fall in Nerdy Prudes Must Die (the song).
After Steph tells Grace to "Leave Ruth alone!" in the principal's office, Ruth tries to grab Steph's hand.
The wig Joey wears when he plays Dan Reynolds isn't Dan's real hair. Dan Reynolds wears a toupée.
Trevor and Angela's drama student encourage each other after they finish rehearsing.
Additional line when Grace is lying to Shapiro: "Suddenly, I remembered a crucial detail that made everything make sense. A picture came flashing into my mind, like I was Enola Holmes!"
"My dad sells women shoe! Shoes!"
Angela misses the chair at Beanie's and falls on her ass, leading to her, Joey and Mariah (mostly Mariah) breaking character.
During The Summoning, Tinky focuses ONLY on Pete. The entire time, he looks like he's restricting himself from lunging out and attacking him. At one point, he points at the Bastard's Box while staring at Pete.
90% of the time during The Summoning, Pokey's staring at his own mask.
Steph facepalms after Max says "That's nasty! ... I like it!"
1K notes · View notes
evilminji · 1 year ago
Text
*slams the door open* I am? Once again a GENIUS!
Give that Witchboy a baby!
Klarion! Lord of Chaos, good looking young man of FABULOUS hairstyles, partner in crime of the MAGNIFICENT Teekle... is? In a bit of a pickle. Tiny bit of a problem. Itty, bitty, theoretically possible touch of a CONCERN, if you will. Might even have done goofed.
See, and he knows this is out of character for him, he THOUGHT? It would be funny? To play a... a LITTLE, tiiiiny, harmless bitty joke on the Lord of Time. Ha ha... funny right? We're all joking around~! H-having a LAUGH?
....please don't unwind me into unexistence! We're too hilarious and gorgeous to die!
You wouldn't kill a kid with a cat, would you!?
And, yeah, maybe he and Teekle start monologing. Dramatically lamenting how Teekles care routine is going to RUINED and they are going to DIE, how no one can take a JOKE, trying to bargin their way out of their impending demise. Etc etc. But?
Then? The Lord Of Time muses that Teekle IS very well cared for? And?
Look, buddy, kill him or don't kill him! You're not gonna get Teekle! Keep your filthy cat molesting hands to yourself! No one touches his baby!
That's apparently the "right answer".
He suddenly has a God Toddler in his other arm, cradled against his chest, right next to Teekle. W-What? The Price(TM) for Sparing His Life(TM) is raising and protecting his... WAIT, WHAT!?
Klarion become a Teen Dad. Teekle become a Cat Parent. Both are baffled and highly alarmed. What has happen to their eternal Hot Chaos Summer!? Fast cars and the country side filled with frogs that are on fire? Milk shakes and rattlesnakes down peoples shirts?
Parenthood?!?! This is going to RUIN ALL THEIR FUN PLANS!
..........or......or IS it? Teekle, hear him out, what if? We take the glow potato? WITH us? It's a baby! They don't do much. Probably good enrichment or something! Yeah! We'll get one of those baby carriers and just? Rain on the Justice Dorks parade, WITH A BABY! That's EXTRA embarrassing for them!
We could have matching outfits!
Nevermind! I saved it! Teekle, we're geniuses. Let's go rob some baby stores! Come on, Jr.! Time to learn Daddy's favorite past time! CHAOS.
@the-witchhunter @hypewinter @dcxdpdabbles @mutable-manifestation @nerdpoe @hdgnj
3K notes · View notes
chrissv4mp · 5 months ago
Text
౨ৎ YOU DON'T REMEMBER CALLING OUT FOR ME?
Tumblr media
★ sum: after a bad breakup with matt, you storm out of his party and get in the car. matt follows after you, and he regrets everything he said when he sees it happen.
☆ pair: matt sturniolo × fem!reader
★ tws: cursing, arguments, crying, driving under the influence kinda, car crashes, slight blood, mentions of amnesia (the loss of memories, facts, information, and experiences.)
☆ a/n: don't check my airbuds history.....
★ a/n 2: also really hoping to make a part 2 for this, but i need a few opinions
★ wc: 3.3k
navigation
Tumblr media
"don't be so fucking sensitive, y/n! i was just messing around. you're getting all riled up over nothin', kid." matt groans, leaning back and supporting himself with his hands on the mattress underneath him.
a scoff falls from your lips as you cross your arms, watching him from the open door of his bedroom, "don't call me 'kid', i'm not a fuckin' kid, matthew. and you could've died from the height of your apartment! you're still drunk." you catch sight of his blown pupils even from across the room, worry and anger clear on your face.
matt just rolls his eyes, gripping the sheets in his hands as he sighs, "well, i can hear what you're saying perfectly, thank you. and, plus, i wasn't gonna lose 50 fucking dollars, y/n."
"you didn't have to give it to the guy, matt. you're just so reckless, it's like you're trying to kill yourself 24/7! what is your problem?" your breathing is heavy now, the heat of the argument never dying down as you continue to voice your complaints about his recklessness. tears threaten to fall down your cheeks as he just mutters inaudible words.
"what problem? there's not a problem, you're the one making it a problem, y/n. it's not my fault you're such a boring fucking person. god, i can't even comprehend why i wanted to date you!" he growls, his voice never shaking as he stares you straight in the eyes. he seems serious, but you knew that he always said things he never meant while under the influence.
it feels like your whole world just fell apart, though. your chest feels tighter and it's almost like you can barely breathe, gripping the doorframe tightly as you watch matt fiddle with the edge of his pillowcase. he really doesn't care, his eyes not showcasing any emotion other than hatred. or, that's what it seems. you want the tears to fall, but they don't. you want to leave, but you can't. you want matt to say something, maybe even take it back, but he doesn't.
you want to— "then why haven't you broken up with me?" stupid. the realization that you just spoke up hits you only when matt stands up from his bed, inching closer toward your small figure as he gets tilts his head to get a better look at you, "tell me, matt." again? just shut up!
"you're right, i really wonder why i didn't do this sooner." your eyes widen in the slightest, your heart dropping to your stomach as you stare up into his cold, blue eyes that once looked at you in adoration. the spark that was once there is gone now as he looks at you, squinting his eyes as he speaks, "we're over. get the fuck out of my room, y/n."
your lips part in a silent gasp, eyes searching his for any signs of hesitation or regret or something. nothing, once again. he scoffs when he takes a step back, crossing his arms in a mimicking manner as he nods his head toward the hallway behind you, "actually, get the fuck out of my house."
the sick feeling in your stomach never leaves even as you turn away from your boyf—ex, and walk through the hallway. you make your way down the stairs, not even stopping to say bye to nick or chris as you pass by them in the living room. all you do is keep your head down and drag your feet, grabbing your jacket off the rack before leaving through the front door. it slams behind you, but you don't care anymore. your whole world just fell apart right in the hands of the person who you loved most. in the hands of the person who you thought loved you the most.
matt didn't care, though. well, not until he replayed the earlier events in his head over and over again after he saw you leave down the stairs. the impact of his words didn't hit himself until you were finally gone and he was sitting in his room alone, surrounded by millions of memories of you and him. your clothes were still here, the things you bought for him, they were painful reminders of the words that he just spoke to you. he didn't even think about it when he said them, he was just spitting out anything that came to mind. he wasn't thinking of the consequences.
maybe he should run after you or maybe he should just sit here and drown in his sorrow and despair, that was the more reasonable option. for him at least. his mind is so loud right now, he doesn't even know what to think anymore. his body moves by itself, jolting forward as his feet take him running down the stairs. he skips steps, almost tripping over his untied shoelaces and stumbling down the last few. he takes a quick glance at the living room and kitchen, but you're not there.
party guests call matts name, but he's not listening. he's not interested in whatever bullshit they have to say right now because his mind is shouting at him to find you, to make things right and show you that he never meant it. he doesn't even notice that he's shoving party goers out of the way until someone pushes him back, resulting in the brunette getting splashed with some red beverage. his heart beats fast and hard, the sound loud and drowning out any other thing around him. we'll, besides the overwhelming thoughts of you.
he slips on one of chris's jackets, darting out the door and slamming it shut behind him. he doesn't see you in the driveway, no sight of your car down the street or on the side of the apartment. his ears pick up on the sound of a car beeping, and his head whips around to find a bike propped up against the garage door. it all happens so fast, he can't even remember when he started pedaling down the street and catching sight of your h/c hair through your car window. he waves, but you don't give him anything back.
it feels like he's invisible, and now he knows what you felt like tonight in that apartment, alone and unseen. unheard by any and everyone around you, including the love of your life. matt watches as you speed up, ready to round the corner deeper into the neighborhood. you really don't know where you're going, though. all you want right now is to just get away from the house and never come back, you didn't want to remember the events of tonight ever. your hands grip the steering wheel tightly as your foot presses even harder on the break.
the tears you held back earlier now begin to fall, and you mentally curse yourself for not holding them in longer. now you couldn't see anything, your vision blurry as you bring a hand up and off the steering wheel to wipe your eyes, trying to see through the windshield again. it doesn't work, and now you're just hoping that you won't lose control over the car. the limited time that your vision is cleared, you can see matt following close behind your car on a black bike, and your first instinct is to freeze and stare.
you don't make the turn, stomping on the brakes in the middle of the road as you watch your boy come closer and closer. his eyes widen, lips parting before you hear a cry of your name tumble from his lips. the only noise you hear is a loud horn coming from the left of you, your head whipping to the side and watching as a large truck comes your way at a fast pace. then, you hear the ringing in your ear, eyes squeezing shut as you let your arms fall to the side of you.
the truck t-bones your car, sending both of the vehicles flying to the right quickly. you smell gas, feeling the wet sensation of blood dripping down your temple and running down the bridge of your nose. your body feels weak, like you can't move, so you just sit there, head lying against the airbag on the steering wheel as you slip into unconsciousness. matt watches in shock and fear as your car tips on its side and smoke begins to erupt from the hood of the car. his heart feels like it stops beating for a moment as he watches the truck reverse and drive off quickly, anger coursing through his veins as he jumps off the bike and lets it fall to the pavement of the sidewalk.
he runs over to your car, his chest heaving up and down quickly as he makes an effort to tip the car back on its wheels. it doesn't work, though, and he grunts as he throws himself against the metal of the roof, "y/n, hey!" his voice seems to snap you out of your daze, now feeling fully conscious as your eyes flutter open again. your body fell against the car door, the seatbelt strap felt like it was suffocating you. the small space of the car suddenly made you weary, eyes widening as your breathing picked up rapidly.
"don't! stop, y/n, don't panic," matt breathes out, trying his best to come off as calm and collected. but he's really not, he's far from anything relatively close to the sort. more footsteps are heard behind him, and now his neighbor is standing a few feet beside matt, "what the fuck happened?"
"doesn't matter. js' help me flip the car, would you?" matt sighs, the panic in his body rising as the smell of gas surfaces. the car flips onto the wheels after quite a moment of struggles, and matt doesn't hesitate to throw youe car door open and grab you. his feet take him stumbling away from the car again, holding you tightly in his arms as if he let go, he would lose you. again. a string of coughs erupt from your throat as you and matt fall gently to the grass of someone's front yard, and matt lies you down as he props himself up with his elbows.
his neighbor is already far away, phone up to his ear as he watches the car explode into flames, the windows of nearby houses reflecting the burning red, orange, and blue lights. matt breathes out as he grips the fabric of his hoodie, more tears coming to his eyes at the realization that if he hadn't left sooner, you would've died. his head moves away entirely from the scene, looking back at your weak body that lay on the grass beside him.
only then does he notice the large gash just below your hairline, and his breath hitches again as he struggles to throw his hoodie over his head and hold it against your own. his other hand cradles the back of your head, his body hovering over yours as he silently prays that you'll be alright. the blood has already traveled down your neck, though. it soaks your white shirt as your head falls to the side, eyes threatening to close as you mutter out jumbled up words, "hey, hey, come on, look at me, y/n. please, look at me. open your eyes, come on..!"
"baby, please. just stay awake, please. my pretty girl, come on..!!" he whispers, anger overcoming his being as he grips the fabric in his hands tighter. he's so angry at himself. he wished he was the one in that car. he should've been the one to experience this, not you. you didn't deserve this at all. it was all his fault, what happened to you. what if he had just talked with you? what if he had just said sorry? what if, what if, what if?
the world seems to spinning faster than usual right now, your head aching as you look at your surroundings. as you look up at the sky, you're met with the cool shade of blue that slowly fades to orange and pink as it travels beneath the mountain until you can't see. then, you make out the frame of matts face, his eyes full of worry and his hair messy. tears stream down his face as he cried quietly, "matt?" you mutter weakly, eyes teary and bloodshot. he nods frantically, a small smile forming on his lips as he whispers, "yes, yes, yes. it's me." but then it all goes away.
matt? who was matt? your face contorts into a look of confusion as you try to tilt your head, only to hiss at the sting the small movement causes, "what—who? who are you?" the hope is washed away by those few words, and the brunettes smile disappears as he feels tiny, imaginary daggers stabbing away at his heart. he doesn't have time to speak before he finally hears the blaring sounds of sirens coming down the street. multiple emergency vehicles drive down the pavement quickly, stopping at the scene. matt is suddenly being pulled away from your frail body, fighting against the hands of the paramedics as he tries to yell out your name. nothing comes out, though, his voice too tired to be used anymore.
his vision is blurred, but he can still make out the way your eyes close softly as your head falls to the side. his heart shatters as he cries out your name finally, all the emotions so overwhelming he doesn't know what else to say. then his brothers are holding him close, trying to calm him down as all three of them stumble to the pavement of their driveway, "matt, hey, look at us. she'll be okay." nick whispers reassuringly, but he doesn't know if that's true. chris just stares blankly as the paramedics carry you on a gurney into the back of the ambulance.
your lip is busted, blood dripping down your head quickly and multiple bruises scattered across your body. the ambulance doors begin to close, and matt quickly jumps up from his place between his brothers and sprints towards the red car. his hands pry the doors open again, eyes wild as he stares at the caretakers in the back of the ambulance, "please, let me come. i need to be here with her, just—" one of the paramedics nod, and that's all the confirmation matt needs to jump into the back and take his place beside your head.
the car shakes subtly on the gravelly road, and the gentle coos of... him make your eyelids open slowly. you want to get up, so you make an effort to move yourself off the gurney in the back of the ambulance, but the paramedics only urge to stay where you're at, "you have to lay down, you're in terrible shape, sweetheart." but why? what even happened? where were you and why were you there?
who were these people? no, who was the guy right beside you who continued to stroke your hair gently? you don't even know yourself right now. did you hit your head? is that why it ached? what about your body? your eyes move around the small, confined space of the ambulance, stopping when you look out of the little window in the back door. the car continues to move down the street, but you still don't remember where you're going or where you were coming from.
"what happened?" you finally speak, but your voice is low and quiet, barely audible to anyone over the beeping of machines and the rocks beneath the road. matt sighs quietly, and now your attention is on him, "you got in a car crash. you're okay, now, so, don't worry." he gives you a gentle smile, but you only give him a look of confusion and worry.
"no?" you try to argue, looking around at the paramedics beside you. they only nod, and your heart drops once again. you were always a safe driver, or at least that's what you think in that moment. everything in your mind is so blurry you don't even remember what happened yesterday or what plans you made for the future. and still, you didn't know the guy touching your face.
matt watches as you space out, his thumb stroking your cheek affectionately as he frowns. he remembers the look on your face earlier that night, when he broke things off, and now it's back. that dumbfounded look that makes your lips part and your eyes squint subtly. you looked the same at times, even when half your face was beat up. he didn't care, though, he still thought you were beautiful, always. he brings his hand up to brush a stray hair out of your face, and only then do you turn your head to look at him again.
"who are you..?" you whisper, eyes looking him up and down. his hair is messy, eyes droopy, cheeks stained with tears, and his clothing is wrinkled. matt tilts his head, a smile coming to his face as more tears well up in his eyes, "you don't remember me?" you shake your head the best you can, squinting your eyes to try and get a better look at him. it feels like you should remember him, it seems like he was an important person in your life, but you can't quite grasp who he was to you.
"you don't even remember calling out to me?" another shake of your head, and matt inhales sharply. he wanted to scream and cry. he wanted you to comfort him. he wanted you back. but he should've known you wouldn't remember it. he should've taken the hint the moment you asked who he was. it still hurt, though. it felt like the entire world was bashing him. emotionally and physically, it hurt, the guilt weighing down on his shoulders as he stared at your confused face, sniffling quietly before he took his hands off your head.
the drive continues, but this time the tension is thicker then before. the silence is so loud, you barely hear the loud blaring of a truck horn coming from outside of the car. you flinch hard, eyes shutting closed as you try and shield your face. matt watches with teary eyes, letting out a breath of sympathy as he replays the events in his head. then, the entire thing comes back to you. the loud horn, the smell of gas, the blood sticking to your hair and the boy who came to save you.
red, orange, blue. the fire. the screams and the cries that the boy let out for you. he was the first person to come after you because he cared for you. you still didn't know why, though. why did he care so much? why did he feel the need to save you? "i told you even then you looked so pretty, y/n. you still do, you'll always be beautiful to me." the brunette whispered, leaning over your frail body as he gave you a gentle smile. his eyes were teary, though, and he looked hurt. very hurt.
"i—i'm sorry." is all you can say at the moment, eyes traveling to his as you frown. he shakes his head, lips parting to inhale shakily before he speaks, "don't be. ts' not you're fault," he smiles, but when he looks back into your eyes, they're swarming with the tiniest bit of guilt, "you do know that, right?" nothing but silence from your end. the boy takes your hand lightly, careful not to accidentally hurt you as he runs his thumb along the top, "it was never your fault, baby. i promise you, it was my—it was that truckers fault for not stopping."
your lips curve into the smallest smile as you make an effort to hold his hand, and the boy almost bursts out into sobs as he feels it. his head turns away from you for a few moments, trying to recollect himself as he takes deep breaths. when he finally looks back at you, your eyes are already on him, "i'm—i'm matt, you're boyfriend. but... we need to talk about a few things, 'kay..?"
Tumblr media
tags: @jetaimevous @livialifesblog @watercolorskyy @blahbel668 @her-favorite
@wiidfi0wer33
841 notes · View notes
cipher-fresh · 1 year ago
Text
💬 suffering-academy-student Follow
does anyone else wish u could regenerate but not change and not use up a regeneration. just like do a hard reboot
#i'm gonna call myself The Sufferer
---
💫 constellationon-kasterborous Follow
what is it even like to not be a time lord do you like get impaled by rebar at 45 years old and just die. couldn't be me
---
🚀 silvertraveller Follow
_____👶 timelordtoddler Follow
_____playing with a roentgen radioactive brick in the nursery rn
---
🔉 gallifreyballifreyshmallifrey Follow
i love this website because its the only place you can say you have interfered with the natural flow of time and you won't get investigated by the CIA
---
😉 winkles-wonderland Follow
who up lording they time
#no I don’t need to add any extra tags thanks I trust my audience will find it
---
👦 theresponsibilityavoider Follow
I was skipping school hanging out in a clearing and some guy exited a portal from a CONFESSION DIAL 😭 and he was like “Go to the city. Find someone important. Tell them I’m back. Tell them, they know what they did. And I’m on my way. And if they ask you who I am, tell them ‘I came the long way round’” 😭😭😭 what the hell
---
💬 oneofthegreathouse Follow
if you have a fetish for people being born through bodily reproductive systems KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!!!! nobody needs to see that on their dash
__♻️ callmeweaver Follow
__Ok Puriteen you need to get on my level. sexualize looms OR ELSE!!!!!
---
💫 thecurator Follow
the high council of gallifrey: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “the timeless child” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯
Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.
5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw some pre-Hartnell doctors
My buddy the Master pacing: the Time Lords are lying to us
---
🏠 somegrandolgallifrey Follow
I heard some kid crying himself to sleep in a cabin. COULD not be me
---
♾️ thatacademygraduate Follow
Went to a museum today! I saw a lot of really cool stuff but something I couldn’t stop thinking about was this horrifically busted up Type 40 TARDIS that literally looked like it was held together with duct tape, chewed gum and prayers 😵‍💫😵‍💫 girl kill that thing I’m so sorry….
#i think it was even still alive. please put it out of its misery for the love of rassilon
---
🥽 howsitgoinghowitgoes Follow
Bruh my best friend and I tried to play a prank on my brother but it went wrong and he hit his head so badly he REGENERATED i need to go into hiding
---
😐 the-hybrid Follow
Who am I
#please for the love of god help me
---
🔹 thetasigma Follow
Koschei and I skipped school today and went stargazing. We agreed to visit every single one together when we leave this stupid planet. I love them so much. We're going to be together forever.
----
💭 siblingofkarn Follow
Why do I keep having nightmares about Gallifrey being destroyed in like 5 different ways, that could literally never happen
---
🤖 pompousandstuffy Follow
I literally hate children soooo much like today some ninety year old tried to speak to me. KILL YOURSELF THIRTEEN TIMES ‼️
---
👽 cheapandnastytraveltime Follow
For a Time Lord I have such a bad sense of time. if chamelon arches were real i would make myself literally any other species
---
😍 starstartwinkletwinkle Follow
I have to stare into the untempered schism tomorrow. Any advice?
1K notes · View notes
the-cat-and-the-birdie · 7 months ago
Text
Y'all wanna see Miguel be the dominant lover.
I wanna see Miguel being that dude's that's slightly afraid of his wife.
He's teasing her jokingly and she starts yelling at him in Spanish. And he's like 'It was a JOKE- dios mío A JOKE' meanwhile this 4'11 woman is yelling and waving her finger in his face (lovingly of course)
Jess asks if he's coming to eat lunch, and he tells her 'no', that he has work to do.
Cue his wife storming into his office, yelling his name, and shoving a plate of arroz con pollo at him and demanding they eat together. And of course he wouldn't dream of telling her no.
So he sits there while she's like 'Make sure you finish. You always eat dinner late. You need to finish so you won't be hungry. I don't know how you always want to train and workout but you don't want to stop and EAT. You hear me?? Are you listening-'
And he's just happily listening to her nagging while he eats and fights back a smile.
-- Imma give him a wife who looks makes him look relatively calm and sarcastic meanwhile she's a busy-body constantly checking on him and everything in the Society so it doesn't fall apart.
-- Miguel being afraid to even COUGH around her cause god help him, if she thinks he's sick she'll forcefully BABY him to death.
Like tucking him into bed ridiculously tight with a rag on his head and soup on the stove and if he even thinks about getting up he gets scolded for 'stressing out his body'
-- A wife that when Miguel brings up the idea of having kids she's like 'Of course! I want six... What's wrong, why do you look like you've seen a ghost? It's six not enough for you?'
Meanwhile Miguel is trying not to faint at the idea of SIX WHOLE KIDS to look after. (The end up with eight in the end)
-- And she has weekly brunches with MJ where they talk about how much of a mess their loving husbands are
-- When they train together she takes it SO serious. She's the worlds toughest trainer ever. Yelling at him in Spanish 'Is that all you got! Christ, I know you can do more than that!! We're running 6 miles together on the treadmill next. DRINK SOME WATER!!!'
And then after she's like 'You did great, babe 😊 My strong man, love you 🧡🧡🧡.'
Meanwhile he's panting for dear life
Like DO YOU SEE THE DYNAMIC I'M GOING FOR not the 'i hate my wife' kinda vibe, the 'my wife is gonna fucking kill me if I stay up until three again' kinda vibe.
I'm gonna give him the most firey fierce wife ever. That's him and Inca-Spider Moche. When they argue she stands on his desk cause she's not gonna having him looking down at her. She's like 'You think you wouldn't eat lunch cause the breakfast I cooked was too big? Say that to my face!!' *climbs up on the nearest chair*
A calm sarcastic giant and his 4'11 wife that will rain hellfire if he works late cause he needs his sleep and she'll be DAMNED if he doesn't get it
458 notes · View notes
astonmartinii · 1 year ago
Text
honey, honey [mamma mia part three] | formula one social media au
drivers: sebastian vettel, fernando alonso & jenson button
mamma mia | no more ace to play | masterlist | tips
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by jensonbutton, charles_leclerc and 1,098,455 others
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel & jensonbutton
yourusername: little chick is finally showing and these old men are still obsessed with cars even though i'm RIGHT THERE !!
view all comments
user1: oh to be the one receiving those photos of fernando
user2: yeah yeah they're having a kid BUT the sheer amount of seb + fernando + jenson content we're gonna get
fernandoalo_oficial: so you go to goodwood with them but don't come to my race :(
yourusername: babe they outnumbered you but we'll be there in canada !!
jensonbutton: sorry some of us didn't choose to be a fossil in an f1 car. just hurry up and retire
yourusername: woah woah, let nando have his lil hobby
fernandoalo_oficial: y/n tell him he can't call me old
yourusername: jenson, fernando isn't a fossil, you know we prefer the term precious artefact, please apologise
jensonbutton: i'm sorry???
user3: omg this is going so fast
danielricciardo: ahhhh y/n is showing !! this is so exciting
sebastianvettel: chickie is the size of a lemon i think
danielricciardo: and you'll all be in canada?
yourusername: yes! i can't wait to meet all of you
danielricciardo: *can't wait to meet chickie's god father
fernandoalo_oficial: daniel you know we haven't decided that yet
jensonbutton: also i've partied with you, why do you think i'd trust you with my kid?
danielricciardo: ummm every child is entitled to a fun uncle ??
user4: i am once again stating how fucking obsessed i am with this set up
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by mickschumacher, jensonbutton and 1,298,450 others
yourusername: my personal favourite snippets of the god father applications. not sure it really made me trust any of them any more than before.
view all comments
user5: i was not expecting to actually see the applications but they defo didn't disappoint
maxverstappen1: ummmmm @charles_leclerc what do you mean? you are the instigator YOU pushed me into that puddle
charles_leclerc: it's okay max get it out (@sebastianvettel @fernandoalo_oficial @jensonbutton see how i am able to de- escalate this situation)
maxverstappen1: try and de-escalate this foot up your literal ass
charles_leclerc: i will put you in time out (i.e. watch your ass going into turn one)
yourusername: you guys realise this is not helping the application right?
maxverstappen1: nuh uh who wouldn't want a world champion as a god father
charles_leclerc: low blow verstappen
yourusername: girlies chickie has dads with seven championships between them so i really don't think she'll be impressed by two
user6: i'm sorry but roscoe hamilton as the reference is killing me
user7: full government name and everything
sebastianvettel: you guys laughed at me but this has amused me to no end
yourusername: you're a genius and i love you for this
user8: L BOMB?
jensonbutton: i take back calling the idea dumb, you were right :(
sebastianvettel: oh how the tables have turned
fernandoalo_oficial: can we all just agree that we never thought those dumbasses would actually fill one in?
yourusername: it makes me even more excited to meet them
jensonbutton: trust me the charm wears off real quick
user9: the way kimi wrote nothing and will probably end up being the god father anyway
Tumblr media
jensonbutton
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by fernandoalo_oficial, alexalbon and 832,087 others
tagged: yourusername
jensonbutton: best thing about pregnancy cravings is i have an excuse to use seb's insane car collection and brush up on my french
view all comments
user13: on dad duty with the dad angle he's ready
user14: honestly my heart is so warm over the fact that they've all embraced the situation
user15: girl we saw jenson and nando at mclaren together ... it's been coming
user16: oh and that one podium with jenson and seb they just need a girl they all liked to get their shit together and that's the most them thing ever
sebastianvettel: a man goes to one meeting and suddenly julie is being taken on grocery runs
jensonbutton: y/n wanted bagels so ?
sebastianvettel: i know we're having an actual kid but be careful with my mechanical kids as well
jensonbutton: do you forget i'm literally a driver too honey
yourusername: thanks for the bagel baby bagel dates 4 ever
fernandoalo_oficial: cream cheese and salmon WITHOUT ME?
yourusername: we put it in the fridge for when you get home :(
fernandoalo_oficial: awwwww really ???
yourusername: we love you (but also you can't eat soft cheese or raw fish while pregnant)
fernandoalo_oficial: it's the thought that counts?
user17: god this looks like domestic bliss, how does one come about three men to have a kid with in the swiss mountains?
yourusername: honestly i'm so lucky
sebastianvettel: we're luckier
jensonbutton: we're luckier
fernandoalo_oficial: we're luckier
yourusername: fucking hormones are making me ball my eyes out
Tumblr media Tumblr media
f1
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by estebanocon, yourusername and 1,239,086 others
f1: category is ... baby presents !! y/n y/ln made her paddock debut with sebastian vettel and jenson button to support fernando alonso 💚
view all comments
user21: omg seb in his aston martin gear to support nando
user22: imagine showing this to someone in 2010 i think they would have a heart attack
danielricciardo: i had the best present ever god father is in the bag
charles_leclerc: i read your application there's no way, plus seb loves ferrari so my gift will be the best
mickschumacher: lets be real my application was the best
estebanocon: eh i think kimi's was the best
mickschumacher: he literally wrote nothing ????
estebanocon: and yet he outdid all of yall... embarrassing for some
user23: i feel like this fight to be god father is gonna end with a fist fight in the parking lot
yourusername: and i'll be there with my popcorn
sebastianvettel: maybe let's not encourage fighting
yourusername: why not, these squabbles over being in charge if all FOUR of chickie's parents die are the most entertaining thing in the world to me
jensonbutton: lets halt it on the fighting and dying talk okay (i will also be front row to watch these morons fight)
maxverstappen1: if it's a fist fight clear win for me imo
fernandoalo_oficial: how did we get here (i will referee)
danielricciardo: respectfully maxy, i will beat your ass
maxverstappen1: NUH UH
kimiraikkonen: i'm winning no question
sebastianvettel: now that i agree with
yourusername: i thought you were against fighting?
sebastianvettel: i guess it would be kind of funny (especially because any physical violence is an immediate red flag)
user24: okay but can someone actually let us know who got what cause i know these men probably got the dumbest shit that can never actually be used by a child
user25: there's a thread on twitter!
Tumblr media
fernandoalo_oficial
Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 934,045 others
fernandoalo_oficial: old man still got it 👍 thank you to the team for your help, needed to impress y/n with my day job x
view all comments
user27: impending fatherhood got nando looking like he can make it an eight championship house
sebastianvettel: @yourusername he's good but i was better
jensonbutton: @yourusername and i was even better x
fernandoalo_oficial: ummm this is literally my post about MY podium?
sebastianvettel: i would've won but that's just me 😬
fernandoalo_oficial: 2013 called and it wants your attitude back 🤨
jensonbutton: it's been ten years guys... (i would've also won)
sebastianvettel: well my trophy cabinet is the fullest so chickie will know who was the best by that :)
yourusername: the sexual tension is killing me, how did yall not shag back in 2010?
jensonbutton: too busy winning and being sluts elsewhere x
maxverstappen1: yall claim you would've won? yall wouldn't get close to me sorry not sorry
sebastianvettel: oh look who's out of the running for god father
maxverstappen1: NO I TAKE IT BACK
yourusername: don't worry maxy, he's joking the bee keeping suit went down VERY WELL
charles_leclerc: he's such a cheat i didn't even know they existed :(
maxverstappen1: you snooze you loose
yourusername: @charles_leclerc i'm craving pasta, i heard it's good in the ferrari hospitality
charles_leclerc: on it 🫡
fernandoalo_oficial: so is no one going to congratulate me?
yourusername: CONGRATS BUB! turns out you ARE great at your day job (and very sexy drenched in champagne)
sebastianvettel: i agree
jensonbutton: i agree
yourusername: once again how did yall make it through the 2010s
user28: i'm trying not to be weird about this but i know their sex life must be crazy
yourusername
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by jensonbutton, danielricciardo and 1,403,677 others
tagged: fernandoalo_oficial
yourusername: baby's first f1 weekend and daddy nando did not disappoint (neither did the grid, yall are so generous thank you)
view all comments
user29: i am so unwell this is all so cute i might die
fernandoalo_oficial: i would get any shit box on the podium for you guys
yourusername: NO BRAKES! NO TYRES! OUT OF THE POINTS!
jensonbutton: babe that was over five years ago...
yourusername: ummmm i'm doing my research on your careers? i'd never watched f1 i needed to catch up
sebastianvettel: who showed you this?
yourusername: oscar and lando said they'd give me a quick fire history lesson
fernandoalo_oficial: @oscarpiastri @landonorris i've won 32 races and you show y/n that?
landonorris: funny?
oscarpiastri: we also showed her multi 21, sorry not sorry seb
sebastianvettel: not my four championships?
oscarpiastri: justice for my manager
user30: obsessed with how y/n can watch old races and most of the time one of her bfs win 😭
alexalbon: so great to finally meet you! the albon pets hope it's a girl!
yourusername: don't tell them i told you this but me too
jensonbutton: we can literally all see this?
yourusername: you guys would be such girl dads lets be real
user31: potential girl dad seb, jenson and fernando DO NOT THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME
user32: do NOT let seb name them he's already used all of the good bond girl names
sebastianvettel: i'll have you know kinky kylie is a top tier name
yourusername: for a car. do not suggest any names affiliated with any spy films
sebastianvettel
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by astonmartinf1, mickschumacher and 1,459,832 others
tagged: yourusername, jensonbutton & fernandoalo_oficial
sebastianvettel: thought i'd have a quiet life after retirement, i thought wrong
view all comments
user33: the BEAR ???
user34: what if i die so i can be reincarnated as the f1 baby
jensonbutton: always arguing over who is the best driver but yet i am always designated driver ... makes you think
sebastianvettel: you're the one who pulls the "i'm the oldest" card ... makes you think
fernandoalo_oficial: only one of us is still racing ... makes you think
yourusername: someone is waiting to go to bed but some people are arguing in the comment section ... makes you think
user35: this kid is going to have the most entertaining childhood ever...
yourusername: @fernandoalo_oficial retire so you can join the crochet club
fernandoalo_oficial: no can do i need to bring home the bacon (and beat lewis)
lewishamilton: why am i catching strays? can i join the crochet club instead of fernando?
yourusername: it's strictly bring your own yarn and real housewives only
lewishamilton: make it beverly hills and i'm there
fernandoalo_oficial: ummmmm ??? @mercedesamgf1 ur driver is retiring you heard it hear first
yourusername: you guys gonna beef over crochet as well?
fernandoalo_oficial: yes.
lewishamilton: yes.
jensonbutton: okay nando you're the only one we're waiting for, we're debating god fathers
fernandoalo_oficial: one sec my pr team called me, turns out you can't make up a rumour that lewis hamilton is retiring, who knew?
maxverstappen1: VOTE FOR ME PLEASE
charles_leclerc: you've won enough this season, let me have this one
mickschumacher: i'll bring breakfast in the morning for three votes at least
yourusername: do NOT try and bribe the jury.
note: PART THREE! okay so it's finally here and i hope it's what you guys were looking for... the race for god father is heating up and the name arguments are only just starting... i am enjoying the pregnancy content but i'm excited for baby time !!!
taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora @faithm120601 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @luv4kani @minkyungseokie @eugene-emt-roe @magical-spit @ironmaiden1313 @jaydaaasworld @whoreks @rainerax @nonsensical-nonsence @laneyspaulding19 @chelseyyouraverageluigi @lxclerc @gemofthenight @woweewoowa @tagteamedbitch @imagandom @mypage-myfandoms @mehrmonga @asparklysoul @unstableplant @motorsp0rt @multilovebot @lili-flower03 @its-elias-world @jolixtreesunn @nothingfuninthislife @rileynicol3 @kodzuvk @mochimommy2002 @fluffyspaceprincess @roseseraj @black-swan-blog27 @nyrasslut @justdreamersdream @asfaraslifegets @why4anne @ineffableperson @leilanixx @lunyyx @pupbistro @gaypoetsblog @rafaaoli @champomiel @sadsierra2 @rainerax @lokietro
3K notes · View notes
pearlzier · 24 days ago
Text
ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ 𝜗℘ㆍ nerd.ᐟmatt ☆ nerd.ᐟreader ,✿
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
"POPULAR, YOU'RE GONNA BE POPULAR," you'd sing when you were doing absolutely anything. it was no shock to anyone that you adore musicals, you're an absolute theatre fiend. since you were a little kid, it's been your form of escapism, being able to transform into a different person on stage instead of how sheepish you usually are. matt personally loved how confident you were infront of an audience and so passionately speaking the lines you'd worked so hard to perfect.
after the inarguable disaster that was the mean girls adaptation (you'd quite literally sobbed into his arms about how bad it was) you two were pretty sceptical about a wicked movie adaptation.
"you really like uh.." matt's watching you, as best as he can, anyway, considering the fact that he's driving the two of you towards the cinema. his eyes flutter back to the road, hand working over the wheel as he holds onto it. "uh.. what's her name, the woman who played glinda on broadway—" he drums his fingers against the wheel in thought.
you adored the original wicked on broadway, you'd practically learnt the entire score, and you were so serious when it came to elphaba and glinda. literally, you and your bestfriend had gone as them one time for halloween before it was trendy to do so—the 'og's, shall we say. you loved many musicals, but wicked would always have a soft spot in your heart. having gone to see it live, it was a memory you'd never forget.
you were like, the most qualified ever to judge whether a wicked movie adapation was actually as good as it should be.
well, matt thought you were, anyway. he held you in extremely high regard.
he doesn't even get to finish before you're interjecting, "kristin chenoweth!" causing a smile to spread across his lips. there you go again, so eager to talk about musicals. he only ever sees you this happy when you're talking about the things you like or when you're with him.
"kristin chenoweth," he agrees quietly, watching the way the gleam in your eyes twinkles as you speak. he's in awe, pure awe, at how perfect you are. he'll get better at voicing it, he's sure of it. he's just.. a little overwhelmed by how much he loves you.
"she's amazing, matt," you insist, adjusting the tote bag sat in your lap. nothing could describe the amount of energy you have right now, you're practically bouncing off the inside of the car with joy right now. this might be one of the best moments of your life if you're completely honest with yourself.
"this is gonna be amazing, 'm sure of it. the marketing team are working overtime for this." matt might actually cry if he has to drink down another glinda themed robinsons drink—he won't, he'll brave it for you, but still.
matt isn't exactly into musicals the way you are, he usually plays video games, watches movies, and gets so hype over them it's crazy. though, you get it, your interests make you just as feral. but this is a movie musical, so you think he'll be into it as well. wicked was inescapable, his entire for you page was just glinda and elphaba and he wasn't even mad about it. couldn't be, especially with how happy it made you.
it was like when hamilton was trending, oh, god, you'd performed like seven one woman performances of the musical that he's sure he can quote the entire thing by now.
the two of you are quiet for a little more, the original broadway cast singing away in the background as it plays through the car speaker from your phone, 'till the car comes to a stop outside of the cinema. "we're here," he murmurs, killing the engine once he makes sure his parking's perfect.
"oh my god, matt! we're here. what if i faint? what if i vomit? oh god, i won't get to see the movie if i faint or vomit, will i? oh no, uh, okay, i need, uh.. oh—"
"hey, hey, relax," matt says, gently, wanting you to chill out a little. he offers a sheepish little smile and he murmurs, "uh.. we can go get the themed popcorn buckets and you can throw up in there if you want to.. in style.." that makes you giggle and you nod, practically ripping off your seatbelt so that the two of you don't waste any more time inside the car. he has to quickly get out to join you, making sure that you don't run off on your own.
as the two of you walk, his fingers awkwardly twitch at his side as he wishes to hold your hand, but he's a little apprehensive to. though, he doesn't know why he's so apprehensive about it, the two of you are dating, holding hands is a simple thing. but.. he is.
"wicked's real popular," he murmurs, glancing around. "it's real amazing," you add in return. the two of you make your way inside the cinema together, and you glance at eachother for a moment. he smiles, you smile, and it sends a surge of warmth through both of you. leaning against his shoulder, you watch as he pays for the two tickets, and even more heat surges through you at the fact you're one hundred percent going to be seeing wicked now. matt likes how happy it makes you. it makes him almost as happy, he's sure.
and you notice this, after a little. there's a bit of a queue—wicked was so popular—and you end up interlacing your fingers with his own. it makes a heat flush to his cheeks and he offers a smile to you, shuffling closer to you and pressing by your side a little just to make sure you don't get too cold considering it's getting colder out.
"line's pretty long," he notes quietly, glancing up. you guys are near the front, so it's okay. "mmh, yeah, but we're almost in," you agree, swinging your interlaced hands as you stand beside eachother.
"popcorn buckets?"
"popcorn buckets."
Tumblr media
you're a mess when you get out of there. literally, he's got stains on his hoodie from your tears, not that he minded all that much. he'd be a hypocrite otherwise, he's feeling a little teary eyed himself. thrusted against his chest are the various popcorn buckets that you'd bought, as you're currently trying to compose yourself and make sure your pink makeup doesn't run. you'd dressed up in full glinda gear, as best as you could, and he'd gone as elphaba. in your words, he'd given you total wicked witch of the west energy, in the best way.
he mumbles a soft, "you're okay," switching the popcorn buckets to one arm so he could gently rub your arm as the two of you made your way out. a soft smile settles on his lips, just watching you. everyday he's reminded in little moments why he loves you so much. this is definitely one of them. matt quietly leads you out of the screening room, giving smiles to the people working at the cinema, ones who are quiet heartwarmed by your reaction to the movie and how much it clearly meant to you.
"that was just.." matt sighs softly, shaking his head as heat flushes to his cheeks. he shifts his weight a little, gently tugging on you for you to stop. it's just outside of the screening, his eyes meeting yours. your eyes are glossy, gleaming beneath the pink and green lights illuminating you both. "perfect," you finish for him, words wavering a little as you speak. god, you've never enjoyed a movie more. definitely a top ten movie. maybe even for matt, too. he couldn't deny how good it was.
matt nods his head at your words, adding a quiet, "really perfect," you'd one hundred percent be watching the movie a gazillion times after, probably in cinemas, but also definitely on some illegal websites when you got back home. matt'd be joining you, totally. he may not have been a complete musical fan, but he'd get into it for you, definitely.
"i'm like.. a new person after that," you tell him, shuffling closer to him and leaning your head up against his chest. he places the buckets down on the ground beside you two and he tentatively wraps an arm around your middle to bring you up against his chest.
"me too.. might be a musical fan.." a laugh slips past his lips ³and in return you giggle too. a soft sigh escapes you afterwards, head tilting to the side a little. he blinks when you look up at him like that, and the heat floods his cheeks a little more. he's getting warm from all the attention, really. but you're looking up at him like he hung the stars and the moon, and it makes him feel so unbelievably special. his heart's pounding against his chest, literally.
"i.. wanna kiss you," you find yourself saying before you even realise, and matt practically splutters and stammers over his words in return. "oh, uh.. you do? oh," he swallows thickly, glancing down at the ground a moment before he meets your gaze again, nodding his head. he'd been thinking the same exact thing, since.. right now, your lips look like they're coated in pure sugar, all shiny and glossy.
"you can kiss me. i wanna.. wanna kiss you," he mumbles, slowly easing his hand upwards on your back, his lips parting.
you're the one who goes for it, bringing your lips to his in a gentle kiss. he brings you as close as possible with his hand, a dreamy sigh slipping past his lips against your own. you let your hands come up and cradle his jaw, both of your eyes shutting together as you take in the bliss that is the kiss you're sharing. when the two of you part, he's breathless, eyes gleaming in a similar way to yours. "you taste like candy," accurate, considering all the candy you'd been eating during the movie, but he loves it.
you feel a heat come to your face at that, and you glance at the floor sheepishly. "i do?"
matt nods, because yeah, you do. he sweeps his tongue over his bottom lip, tasting the sweetness that you'd left there in the kiss. he's incredibly intoxicated by you, how you taste, how you feel, just.. you. "yeah.." he really wants to do it again, but the realisation that you two had just kissed in public hits him and he ends up burying his head in your hair to try hide himself in some way. "oh my god, we just kissed, in public," you say in realisation.
he's got absolutely no clue where all of this confidence comes from, but he murmurs a breathy, "y'know what's not public?" that makes your eyebrows raise in interest, lashes fluttering a little bit. matt relishes in that expression on your face, just for a moment.
"what is?" you soon ask, brows furrowing now.
"my bedroom," matt wiggles his eyebrows instinctively, and despite your surprise at his forwardness, you laugh. a genuine, soft, laugh. god, you adore him. enough to the point you quickly run behind him as he practically drags you back to the car.
Tumblr media
ִ ֹ ★ @deansbite i hope you and our 120+ kids are proud o'me for writin' consistently :3
ִ ֹ ★ @mattybsgroupie, @mattslolita, @stellasturns, @stevelacylovebot, @55sturn, @jetaimevous, @phone4pills, @aesthetixhoe, @venusiers, @chrissdollie, @stvrnmc, @sarosfilms, @sarosfilms, @funkycoloured, @v3nusasgirl, @beridollie, @pr3ttyf4wn, @sincerebabydoll, @cayleeuhithinknott, @j2ss7, @sweetrelieef, @l3sbiancvnt, @beausling, @lovesickgrlsrh0t , @cupiidk1lls, @sofiassaturn ִ ꒱
Tumblr media
174 notes · View notes
poetryvampire · 1 month ago
Text
✨️trop men and if they could get you off based mostly on vibes ✨️
💕Now to level the playing field let's give a simple y/n on if they could get the job done during your first time together and the overall mood of the evening. Mildly nsfw (I'm not gonna get too detailed...unless 👀)
Adar💀 Yes. Woof, not to get too crass right off the bat but daddy is the name he earned so yes absolutely. Also brace yourself it will be kinkier than you think and it will awaken something in you. And it would start off painfully slow just easing you into it lightly. Seems like a great opportunity to try things you've been curious about but beware you're getting into like five kinks that haven't even crossed you mind before. One minute you're having a romantic candle lit dinner then Bam youre wearing a chain collar with his name on it.
Elrond 😇 Oh, god bless. No. Baby I'm sorry but no. That being said it would still be a great time with really positive vibes. But Elrond would get too in his own head thinking about options and the best 'plan of attack' to actually deliver. Plus he would play it super safe not wanting to off put you in anyway and thus would kill the passion a bit. Still would be the biggest sweetheart and over all give you a fun time. (Give him time to build his confidence though lotr Elrond Fucks for sure)
Halbrand 🐶 LISTEN Listen listen...No. Hear me out. I just-I feel it in my blood that this guy will rizz you so hard and talk such a big game and than when he time comes it's just ok at best. Like he's made at least one person come before and thinks he has cracked the code. Still his heart's (seemingly) in the right place and its pretty romantic over all. Lots and lots of cuddling.
Annatar 🐱 Yes. And it's amazing but the vibes are terrible. He gets way too intense too fast. He's the kind of guy to say some really weird shit during. Like not even anything dirty just waxing poetic about how you're part of each now and the bond of your bodies is inescapable even in death. And he waaay into talking about how you belong to him now and you're just like?? Is he just talking crazy in the heat of the moment or ?? Also no aftercare and he's 100% gone when you wake up.
Arondir 🏹 Yes. And it's Good but not as romantic as you were hoping. He's into you but Arondir def doesn't realize what a catch he is and is surprised that you're so here for him. Also buddy's got a lot going on so he's still gonna be pretty guarded emotionally. Still he's extremely respectful and such a good kisser like he's got your head spinning and you've barely started.
Elendil 🗡 No. But he tries hard and it's a great time. He's kinda got that big puppy Halbrand thing going on but like genuine. Def more into you than you are him. Elendil will rizz you with care. Pays very close attention to what you like/want. Even if it doesnt happen he's fine with talking about it, even makes a few light jokes at his expense. He's terribly good at putting you at ease. By the end of the night you're more smitten than you first thought.
Celebrimbor 💍 Yes. Are you kidding me?We're talking mastery, we're talking attentiveness, we're talking about a very smitten old man that's going to court you with his whole heart. The vibes are impeccable and he's going to make it known that taking care of you is his top priority. Additionally I can't explain why but you know this man's head game is god tier.
Gil Galad 🏵 Yes. Don't even get me started on how this man is gonna rock your world. The high king is a big guy so it's go big or go home when it comes to love and affection. He doesn't allow himself to pursue romance often but when he does he goes hard. In terms of the act itself and the amount of extravagance and detail he'd put into wooing you. Plus cmon you know he's stressed and pent up as hell. Brace yourself for being be absolutely worshipped All night. You're in for a wicked case of jelly legs and you're not going anywhere.
286 notes · View notes