#get a new joke
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transmasc ukulele music jokes will forever be unfunny ♡︎
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the day i don't have to hear the slanderous steve gerarrd chat is the day i enter the gates of heaven i swear to fucking god
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average white dude comedian, probably mid-30s: “oh yeah! Everything nowadays is about inclusivity !!! people of color right? shoutout to all the purple people!”
my honest reaction:
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#rambles#I FUCKING HATE THIS PLACE#ALSO THIS ISNT FUNNY ANYMORE GUYS#FOR THE LOVE#OF FUCK#GET A NEW JOKE#ITS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE#God it’s just like listening to some guy call another guy a fag for like#hugging him or something#in those older movies#OR THEYLL JUST LIKE… HAVE A NORMAL REACTION TO ANYRHING???#FUCK DUDE#IM FUCKING SICK OF IT#IM GONNA CRASH OUT#MAKE FUN OF YOURSELF OR SOMETHING I DONT KNOW#ROARS WITH PRIMAL RAGE#BASHES A MAN’S SKULL IN WITH A ROCK
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Hurts my soul seeing Metallica get the Super Plastic treatment after being added to fortnight
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The cult of...Danny Fenton?
So! Way back when Danny first moved into his new neighborhood in Gotham, he had some trouble controlling his Powers. The different Types and Levels of Ectoplasm in the air when compared to Amity had thrown off his control.
He was used to being in places where his Ectoplasm meshed well with the Atmosphere, like a Water Balloon in a Pool, but in Gotham that analogy would be closer to a Water Balloon in the sewers. It was too different from what he was used to to fully control his Powers.
So it's understandable that he messed up a few times and his neighbors found out about his Abilities.
They took it well at first, Danny wasn't going to go Rogues or anything, and he never used them maliciously, but eventually they got curious.
They asked what his limits were, how he got them in the first place, and what the hell the Ghost Zone was. The answers "None Really", "I died and was reborn", and "A Collective of every Afterlife at once" did spark some interesting reactions from them.
Most importantly, a few of them joked about him being an Eldritch God that they needed to worship. He was good enough friends with them that at that point they felt comfortable pranking eachother, so they did just that.
Danny woke up one day on his birthday, and saw all of his friends and neighbors surrounding the makeshift Throne they had made and put him on while he was asleep. The entire day they chanted stuff like "The Great One requires Ms. Smiths Apple Pie for his day of birth!" And "The Great One Wishes for us to sing the Ritual Song! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birth-"
After his birthday, they kept up the joke.
It didn't help that his powers had evolved Again! And now he could bestow abilities onto his friends. The jokes they made about their God granting them Supernatural Powers to rule the world with were insufferable.
Then, one day while he was just resting at home, watching a movie on his TV, he felt a Pull at his Core. The same kind of Pull whenever he was being summoned. But why would they summon hi- Oh Shit! It's Mr Jenkins Party today! He was supposed to meet them at the Warehouse they used for special events an Hour Ago!
He quickly accepted the Summoning, but was met with a suprising sight. His Neighbors all tied up in a pile to his right, a spilled table of party food to his left, and right in front of him, Batman and his Family watching him with wary eyes.
Slowly, he opened his mouth. "...so, did you come for the party or..."
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Danny is Worshipped by a Cult#It started out as a Joke from his friends#Then he started giving them powers and they decided to take it to the next level#They told their work friends that they were in a cult now#They showed off the minor powers Danny gave them#And slowly they inducted more people into the Danny Fenton Cult (most of them knew it was a joke on a friend)(some were serious)#They were planning on using the Party to introduce Danny to all his new “Followers” and get a laugh out of it#Unfortunately the Bats hears about a new Cult forming and went to go stop it#The Cult succeeded in Summoning their God#And he's just a Guy.#Not Phantom. He's in his Human Form and looked like the most average guys you've ever seen.#The Bats eventually leave with an order to them to never Form a Cult again#The Cult feels that Batman is oppressing their right to Free Religion and begin to make the Cult even BIGGER out of Spite#Danny might need to step in soon...#...but Batman did beat up his friends...and he did technically try to revoke their right to free assembly and religion...#...Maybe he should just let this play out...
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Today in 🍂✨October surprises✨🍂
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• Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg and Secretary of Labor Julie Su quietly assisted in winning labor rights for dockworkers, ending a strike that could have had catastrophic economic consequences. (10-4-24)
• In Springfield, Ohio, where Haitian migrants have been blamed for the disappearance of local animals with Trump claiming “‘migrants are walking off’ with geese in the town” and “they’re eating the dogs” - a lie also promoted by JD Vance, Ohio’s own sitting Senator, with no evidence - it turns out that the missing geese were actually the victims of a 64-year-old white man who was hunting illegally. (10-3-24)
• A Trump-appointed federal judge blocked Biden’s student loan forgiveness plan again after another judge reinstated it earlier this week. (10-3-24)
• Republicans and crazy Facebook uncles everywhere have spent this week spreading disinformation about the FEMA response to Hurricane Helene, including AI photos of Trump standing in floodwater and wild claims that Biden is sending money to undocumented immigrants. In reality, the Biden-Harris administration has provided substantial emergency assistance and both Biden and Harris have visited the region. Meanwhile, it turns out that Trump was the one who redirected money from disaster relief to send to ICE during his presidency. Shocker. (10-4-24)
• Seriously, though, Trump is not who you want to call in an emergency. Before allowing disaster relief to reach victims of wildfires in California, then-president Trump forced aides to show him an electoral map to see if he had voters there. He evidently intended to withhold the aid if he found out it was going to mostly Democratic voters. This would be a career-ending scandal in any other political era but alas, we are living in this one. (10-3-24)
• Finally, far-right extremist and Oklahoma superintendent of schools Ryan Walters intends to put Bibles in public schools, which is already disturbing, but in a stunning display of corruption, the only ones that meet his specifications are the so-called “Trump Bibles” that include the Constitution and Declaration of Independence. They go for $60 apiece and Trump gets fees from each one. (10-4-24)
No, wait, I’m going to say that one again:
In Oklahoma, taxpayers’ money will be used to put Trump Bibles in public schools. Their money will go directly to Trump. Not a joke!!! Not an exaggeration!!!
…Surely the voters who are still undecided are lying, right?? Right?!
30 days until Election Day.
Go to vote.org for a sample ballot, early voting dates, and more. Seriously, we have to win.
#guys should I start a substack#joking but seriously. Pay Attention! It’s Time! lots happening and#remarkably little reporting on the wildfires thing and the julie su/pete buttigieg win!#I think the Oklahoma thing is actually organized crime?#he already has a rico case is he trying to get another one#us politics#mine#us news#kamala 2024#vote
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PD-MDZS: The Hallmark Episode.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#MDZS AU#mdzs modern au#My posting of this comic is equivalent to the classic 'running through airport' scene. Wait! Please! I promised a new comic today!#It's still Christmas somewhere...I can't wait a whole year of sitting on this joke.#This comic is for everyone who does *not* celebrate Christmas. I wish you a wonderful week just the same!#The twist here isn't getting LWJ to get into the Holiday Spirit.#It's getting WWX to shut the hell up.#We still got the meet ugly and the 'city mouse and country mouse' tropes at play though.#Pour one out for LWJ 'If another tourist asks me to play Christmas music on my guqin I am going to start biting'#Pour one directly over the head of 'I need this guy to start biting because it would be hilarious' WWX.#I just think this concept has a lot of good antic potential. Feel free to toss ideas in the comments. I might draw more if I get inspired!
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'im scared to ask them out' i said
'grow a pair' they said
so i did
the fuck do i do with this thing?
#ik ive already posted this#but that was on my other blog#and now any new moots won't get to see my epic humor#plus it won't blow up#bc honestly this deserves to blow up#in my oh so humble opinion#bonsai's tea#dad humor#dad jokes#humor#haha#lol#joke#pun#hilarious#(trust me it is)#shitpost#stupid humor#stupid post#stupid shit#dumb#bruh#meirl#(don't ask)#don't ask#10k in spirit
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How long do you think it took Ketheric to figure out he was a third wheel?
aka peepaw not properly warned of what immortality was going to look like
(click for better quality)
#this is such a stupid joke but ive had it in mind since like. january#had to get it out#although resolution seems kind of ass?#idk why tumblr kinda ripped that one a new ass#oh well#merry christmas!#bg3#the dark urge#durgetash#oc strike#enver gortash#durge#baldur's gate 3#bg3 durge#ketheric thorm#bg3 ketheric#myrkul#comic#bg3 fanart#domestic durgetash#durgetash fluff
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i wish i could caption this with "and now for something completely siffrint" but the last thing i posted was. also siffrin.
#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#i needed to doodle silly stuff to calm down this morning. phew#(also if 5 billion people have made the anya face joke before me...my bad. i just got here)#i always get so nervous abt posting art in a new fandom!!! but i like to share...augh
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cant even use 👽 in the future. because of woke
#this joke is so bad im sorry guys#anyways im a firm believer that Data has awful fashion sense#this is one of his better outfits#i think he wanted to be more human so he tried choosing his own stuff the way anyone else would do. and that turns into something like this#my tacky little boy#star trek#star trek the next generation#tng#star trek fanart#fanart#art#data soong#geordi la forge#geordi's eyes when he gets the new implant things are so scary. did they have to make them blindingly blue?? data's are bad enough alone
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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Couldn’t stop thinking about Dust being able to pass as Classic. So I had an idea where Dust replaces Classic in a timeline and steals(?) his partner.
He gets conflicted when he starts actually caring about you… But denial is an easy road to take when there’s seemingly no consequences to your actions.
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The reveal i guess. Most normal reaction to learning your partners been replaced for god knows how long and you have no clue where he is.
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Now that I think about it I might’ve gotten some inspiration from that one chapter of IJAG by @htsan (iykyk) only a lil bit tho
(Full rambling of the idea + extra sketch cuz i liked the expression) ↓↓
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I originally wanted y/n to notice the differences instantly but i think it would be angstier if they didn’t and only noticed like months later >:3
#hoodies are hard#i need to practice more#hrmmm#also i guess the new sona is staying#lol#theres much more to this but basically dust gets attached#he was not prepared to get attached (dumbass lmao)#you may ask ‘oh he can just kill them why does he look so scared?’#hes scared of losing them#hes selfish#theres so much angst potential here hehehoo#the idea of sans just being trapped in a basement unable to teleport out for whatever reason… help him…#dust trying to get information out of him about y/n while taunting him about how easy he is to replace#but theres also a funny side to it cuz like. ‘hey whats your favorite movie again?’ ‘Very funny sans#You know what my favorite movie is…’#Dust who has no fucking clue: ‘ehehe yeah i know im just joking’ *hes actually freaking out a bit on the inside*#sans#dust sans#my beloved#my beloathed#sans x self insert#sans x reader#sans x you#undertale au#fic idea#prolly a oneshot#leafs art#replaced au
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also don't let ur friends/society/tumblr posts/whatever convince u to start smoking or drinking or whatever if u don't want to. there are health risks there are social and financial aspects to consider and it's totally fine and normal to not want to. there's no moral aspect to it you can drink and do drugs or whatever if u want and that's chill but u should know what ur doing and do research and if u decide u dont want to that's chill and anyone who tries to shame u for it can go fuck themselves
#text#DORRY FOR ALL THE POSTING THIS MORNING this isnt even super related ifve just been thinking abt it a lot#bc the new thing is posting about how smoking is hot. Dont start smoking kids. genuinely#u r GOING to fuck up ur life and ur health and ur lungs and ur bank account probably. dont start smoking#like all jokes aside. do not. or at least know the risks and know what ur getting into#u r not immune to addiction u r not immune to health risks u r not immune to additional financial strain
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Team Dark Week Day 7 - Live and Learning Experience
If he can pull this off he'll earn himself a wayfinding badge for his scout sash 👌
And that's a wrap on Team Dark week!! Bit quicker with the shading and background this time because 4 panels in this style takes forever actually h a h - that said I'll be touching them up before I post this whole week of panels as a master post soon (which will include some extra little doodles I didn't get to add to the main plotline), so keep an eye out for that!
And for those of you that have been following along daily, I hope you all enjoyed this silly little hiking story!
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#team dark week#teamdarkweek#rouge the bat#shadow the hedgehog#sonic#sth#For those of you following me long enough the little sketchy compilation of jokes when I masterpost this should be quite familiar haha#I plan to touch up a lot of the panels first like adding actual backgrounds to this one and shading it properly lol#shadow's wearing hiking boots here so he's gonna have to hoof it manually wish him luck!#he'll definitely be leaning nonchalantly on the car by the time rouge gets there#(he only made it there 10 minutes before she did and was certainly not at all panicked he'd miss it no siree)#(rouge just so happened to be admiring her new jewels nearby for a cool 20 minutes so the timing worked out well~)#omega has gps but it's more honorable for shadow to win this fight to understand maps on his own#(it's funny)#comic#my art#doodles#realizing I inadvertently made rouge Way taller than shadow here lmaO#i'm leaning into it by this point she's tall and that's the canon I'll live by#okay time to sleep for 48 hours whOO
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Quick dp x dc prompt:
The BatFam finds out via getting tagged a million times on any and all social media sites that Damian apparently got drunkenly married to Jon & Elle while the three were in Las Vegas.
And that alone is making them all lose their collective minds, but somehow there's yet still more on top of that punch in the face because apparently the three didn't get married as Damian Wayne, Jon Kent and Elle Nightingale.
Oh no, that'd be way too easy to handle when it came to how the press and wider world reacted to the youngest son and until very recently one of the most eligible bachelors in the world getting married at three in the morning in a haunted-house themed 24-hour Vegas chapel by a guy dressed up like Zombie Elvis.
No, instead the three of them got married as civilian Damian Wayne and very much not civilians Superboy/Jon-El the Son of Superman and Nomad/Stella Phantom the Crown Princess of the Infinite Realms.
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also bonus meme stuff, this is absolutely how Damian, Jon and Elle greet the paparazzi upon stumbling out of the chapel and the images being shared absolutely everywhere. Steph frames them and hangs them up as the three's "Wedding Photos" because she finds it absolutely hilarious:
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#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc writing prompt#super serious chaos#Super Serious Chaos#damian wayne#jon el kent#jon kent#dani phantom#danielle phantom#superfam#batfam#ghost king danny#batfam & superfam are losing their collective minds over this#meanwhile the rest of the justice league is playing rock paper scissors on who is gonna have to break the news to King Phantom#Danny for his part thinks its hilarious#but its even *funnier* to not tell anyone that and let them think he's pissed about it#Dick *specifically told* Damian not to get wasted and marry anyone when the three of them went on this trip#He said it as a *joke* but *still* what the hell Damian
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