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Teach Ddakji to me - Part 2
The Salesman x American!Reader
Summary: The salesman teaches you a new game: Rock, paper, scissors, minus one. However, he adds a mix to the game whenever one of you loses.
Warnings: 18+ smut, pure sex. Minors, time for you to leave and come back in a few years, this not for your eyes ✋🏻 the door is that way 👉🏻🚪
A/N: This shall have part 3 and i'm working on part 2 for Mingle too ✍️🏻 i haven't written smut in several years so be nice to me thank you, i feel a bit rusty 🥲
Taglist:
@apookalypse
@lady-of-blossoms
@k1ra-park3r
♡♡
By now you had been seeing him for over a month. He had asked all kinds of things about your life in the U.S., your studies and what you'd want to do in the future, your hobbies and in general what you liked to do, and so on. He was genuinely interested in getting to know you and it warmed your heart.
He told you a little about his job, how he was recruiting new people for different businesses. He didn't get into lot of details, just said that he did like his job and it paid surprisingly well. He was happy at his current life.
He told you about his family, how his dad had died by someone shooting him to death, and that he didn't really keep in touch with many family members anymore. A lot of them had passed away apparently and he didn't want to get into more details at this stage of your relationship. You did feel sad for him, since you still had many living relatives who had some kind of part in your life, despite you moving so far away from your home.
You had gone to several different dates, none of them ending up all the way to the bedroom - yet. Mostly you had been only making out at the end of the date, and that was a lot. He was fine with waiting as long as you wished, not wanting you to be only a short term thing. You had told him about your past with one of your boyfriends how he had left you right after he had slept with you for the first time. He promised he wouldn't even think of acting like that.
He was a little too perfect and you had waited to find any kinds of flaws he had, but by far you found none and sometimes that worried you a little. There was no way a perfect man like he existed. Everyone had atleast one thing wrong with them, whatever it was.
Tonight, you had booked a hotel room together and you had made sure to wear your best pair of panties and bra, definitely avoiding the least sexy ones you owned. You had gone for a dinner before coming to the hotel, he had paid your meal again like a gentleman, as he always did. You tried to insist that you'd pay yours but he wasn't having any of that. Afterwards, you had let him know that you were ready to go all the way tonight, if he wanted to.
Right now, he was teaching you a new game, though this one you knew already but it had a little different twist to it that you hadn't played before.
Rock, paper, scissors, minus one.
It took you a while to understand how the game worked, but you grasped on the idea well enough. You both sat on your own chairs, directly facing each other, only a small gap between your knees.
He had added his own twist for the game - only with you: The one who lost, had to remove one piece of clothing, randomly chosen.
This time, you lost, his scissors cutting your paper. By now you had taken off only your cardigan, while he had taken off his tie and socks - he was taking it slowly, apparently.
You put your hands under your white top, unclipping your bra and pulling it out without taking your shirt off. You showed your dark red bra to him, hanging it in the air, until you threw it towards him. He catched it easily from the air. He brushed his fingers along the lacy canvas for a few times, until let it lay on his lap.
Another round, which made him lose his shirt. He took his time taking it off, a smirk on his face, just to mess with you. He knew you weren't very patient. But when he had taken it off and you saw him shirtless, you could definitely tell that he worked out regularly and kept himself in shape. You bit your lip and felt your cheeks warming up. God damn, you had prepared yourself for that - but still.
There were barely any words exchanged during the entire game, there was no need for that.
This was definitely a lot better than Ddakji.
It didn't take long anymore until you were only wearing your underwear and nothing else, your chest bare and you could see the hunger in his eyes.
"I think it's time for the second part of the game," he said and got up. "This part i haven't gone through with any other people i've played with."
You could see he was already hard through his underwear, which was the only thing he had on him as well. You got up before he managed to come to you and made him sit back down on the chair. He looked at you, eyebrows lifted up in surprise, but didn't stop what you were doing.
You kneeled down in front of him and pulled his underwear off, finally seeing his size how big he really was and you weren't sure if you'd be able to take it all. You looked up at him while taking his dick in your hand, stroking it a few times. He let out a sigh, not been prepared for you to make a move on him first.
You stroked him a few more times, until taking him in your mouth as deep as you were able to go. You got a gag reflex quite soon but managed to take surprisingly lot of him, though definitely not the entire length.
He grabbed your head with his hand, fingers brushing through your hair. He guided you with his hand for a while, noticing what your limits were so he wasn't pushing your mouth too deep. He let out deep moans and grunts, but before he was about to come, he pulled your head off him.
He pulled you up from the floor and grabbed your waist, pulling you tightly against him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your lips on his, taking him in a deep kiss. His hands fell on your ass, and his tongue found its way into your mouth when you let out a quiet moan.
He pushed you on the bed, immediately crawling on top of you, not breaking the kiss for more than a few seconds.
He massaged your breast until sliding his hand down your stomach all the way to between your legs, under your panties which you still had on. He gently massaged your clit, then putting more pressure on it, making you moan louder than before. He inserted his middle finger inside your vagina, pumping it in and out, soon sliding in a second finger as well.
"Oh god," you whispered, his touch felt so good and you felt like you were going to come sooner than you had expected.
But he stopped when he sensed you were starting to be on the edge of climax. You let out a frustrated groan but he shut you up with another kiss.
He pulled himself back a little bit to take your panties off and got a condom from the bedside table, wrapping it on him. He finally positioned himself against your entrance.
"You ready?" he asked, ready to push in whenever you gave her permission. "You remember the safe word, hm?"
"Ddakji," you breathed with a chuckle and nodded. "Ready."
He didn't wait even a second longer, right then pushing in, slowly. You gritted your teeth, nails digging on his back. God, it hurt so much and you were sure you were going to bleed a little.
"Just, wait a moment, okay?" you said quietly, getting used to his size. You had had sex with a few other men before, but the last time had been in the U.S. and none of them had been as big as him.
He kissed your neck on several different spots, and by now he knew exactly the right spots which made you insane.
"Okay go on," you whispered and that was all needed for him to start moving his hips back and forth.
"God you feel so good," he murmured in your ear.
You moved your hand on the back of his neck, pulling his head into a deep kiss, his tongue playing with yours.
You didn't know how many minutes had passed, you had lost the track of time, and slowly he was fastening his pace, becoming rougher than in the beginning.
Finally, you experienced the best orgasm you had ever had, the waves of pleasure going through your body. You didn't care how loud you were and how thin the walls of this room were, you let your body react the way it wanted. His body fell limp on yours, being a lot more heavy now that he didn't keep himself up on you.
"Was it good?" you whispered, unsure if he enjoyed it as much as you did. It was your first time with him and you weren't sure what kind of sex he had experienced with other women before.
He looked at you with a surprised expression on his face.
"Was it good?" he repeated and then kissed your forehead and smiled. "It was a lot more than just good. It was perfect."
You quickly washed yourself in the bathroom and when you got into the bed, it didn't take long until you fell asleep in his arms.
♡♡
"You fucked him," your roommate gasped, looking at the hickeys on your neck and below your collarbone. "Is this your walk of shame? Oh my god you definitely fucked him."
It was 6am and your class was about to start at 9am. You knew you should have spent the night with him on the weekend, and not when you had to go to a class in the morning, but you had other plans on the weekend and you couldn't wait another week to spend the night with him.
"Shut up," you chuckled, not denying it.
"So, tell me everything," she asked. "No, wait a moment until i get coffee for us."
She could see that you had stayed up late and needed some caffeine to wake you up before the first class. You waited until she was done with the coffee and brought two cups on the table.
"So, is he big?" she asked and your eyes widened. Straight to the deep end, then. "Like how big exactly?"
"Oh, he was big," you said, the back of your mouth still sore.
"On the scale of a cucumber - half of it? 2/3? Don't say an entire cucumber." Her eyes widened and she gasped. "I mean, he looked like he could easily be-"
"Oh god no, i would have instantly walked out of the door in that case," you cringed and showed an estimated size from memory.
"Ok but how did you do it? Bed, table, shower, wall? All of them?" she asked, talking so fast you weren't able to interrupt her. "Sorry, i haven't had sex in months i'm going insane if i don't get some soon. Like my vagina is actually screaming to be filled. Does he possibly have a hot friend? Could you text and ask? Friend, brother, dad - i'll take anything."
"I'm not going to ask that!" you laughed.
"How could you find a hottie like that in a damn subway station anyway? The only man who has come to talk to me there was a homeless man asking for money because he just got out of jail for drunk driving," she said. "Let's go clubbing this Friday, you can be my wingwoman."
"I don't know, i don't really do clubbing," you said awkwardly, you weren't a fan of those places and hadn't been at any club in a few years.
"Please you have to share your tricks with me," she was begging by now. "Otherwise i'm gonna have to seduce our professor who i've had hots for since the beginning of our semester and we all know that's a horrible, horrible idea."
"Yeah, that's a big no," you said instantly.
"You know what must be big? His-"
"Okay shut up," you interrupted immediately before she was able to continue. "Ask one of your friends to go clubbing with you."
"I will, but you should tag along," she insisted. "You should be more social with us outdoors, come on."
"I'll pass this time, thanks," you said, giving an 'i'm sorry' smile. You took a sip of your coffee, then changing the subject. "Oh, by the way, my brother is coming for a visit," you said and pointed a finger on your roommate before she was about to say something. "And he's definitely OFF limits, don't even think about it, he's going to get married next summer."
"Aw, fine," she pouted, for a second she had had her hopes up, but it was quickly erased.
♡♡
The salesman went to a park with a large bag full of bread, there was atleast 50 loafs in total, and pockets full of lottery tickets.
He found a group of homeless men and women, sitting on different benches. He approached them one by one, holding a loaf of bread on the other hand and a single lottery ticket on the other.
The homeless man looked at his hands and was about to take both to himself, but the salesman pulled his hands back.
"You can choose only one of these," he said. The man thought about his choice for a few seconds, until grabbed the lottery ticket. The salesman offered him a coin to scratch the ticket with.
The man's face fell when there was no win. The salesman repeated this action to all the people in the park nearby, and only one of them chose the bread.
Suddenly, he saw you in the distance, but his face fell when he saw who you were with. A young man was walking next to you, arm around you shoulder, keeping you close to him. The salesman had no idea what you were talking about, but somehow the man managed to make you laugh.
He didn't like what he was seeing, not one bit. Anger was rising inside him, he couldn't help it.
"Hey, give me the bread!" one of the homeless men yelled at him.
"Yeah, give us the bread!" a woman shouted nearby.
"I apologise, but you had a chance to choose the bread, but you chose the ticket instead," the salesman pointed out politely and threw the bags of bread on the ground.
He started pouring his anger out by stomping on the breads, mushing them all completely and letting out a few frustrated screams out of his mouth.
The homeless people looked at him like he had lost his mind and should have been taken into a mental hospital. They got up and left, it became too hard to watch a grown man's sudden tantrum.
The salesman pulled his hair back and brushed sweat off his forehead with the sleeve of his suit. He took a deep breath to calm down.
"I'm cool, everything's cool," he mumbled to himself and straightened his tie a little bit. He looked around him, barely anyone on his sight anymore. He really needed to work on his anger issues.
♡♡
"Hi," you greeted and planted a kiss on his cheek when you arrived to the cafe a few hours later to meet him.
"How was your day, sweetheart?" he said and forced on a smile. He might have had a little sarcastic tone in his voice, but nothing what you might have noticed.
"Oh, my brother came to visit me, he's staying for a few days. I showed him a few places around here, he had never visited Korea before or really travelled much outside the States," you explained, seeming excited. "I haven't seen him since i moved to Korea."
He lifted his eyebrows and after a moment started laughing a little bit. You looked at him, confused what was so funny.
"Your brother," he mumbled. "Right, of course, your brother. Did you have fun?"
"A lot of fun, yes," you smiled widely. "Do you want to meet him?"
He went silent for a moment, somehow surprised by your suggestion. Sure, you had been dating for a while now but he hadn't been prepared to meeting your family members since they were all far away in the United States. It hadn't really seemed like an option before.
"Well, sure, why not," he said with a smile, though he was surprisingly a little nervous about it, which was quite unusual for him.
♡♡
That same night, your roommate had texted that she had found a guy at the club and if it wouldn't be a problem for you to find another place to spend the night, since she didn't want to go to the guy's place right when she had met him.
You were fine with it and answered that your boyfriend let you stay at his house. Calling him your boyfriend sounded so strange, but he was one, right? It just sounded like you were both still in high school, and he was a lot older than you anyway.
This was your first time visiting his home. You hadn't thought about what kind of home he had or what you were expecting, but it was larger than you had imagined. Certainly a lot fancier than your apartment, which felt like a closet compared to his place.
He hadn't visited your apartment either, so you didn't think much of it that you hadn't seen his place sooner.
He went to the kitchen to get a bottle of wine for you and left you in the living room by yourself. You saw a shelf which seemed to be full of old records, most of them seemed to be artists you weren't familiar with.
"Hey, can i look through your records and find something to listen to?" you shouted.
You heard his approval to choose anything you wanted and started browsing through them.
Then, opening one of the drawers to see if there was more, your heart stopped for a second when you saw something hidden in there.
A gun. He had a gun in his drawer.
You had never held a gun in your hand and carefully lifted it with your hand, making sure to keep your fingers far from the trigger, just in case it was loaded. You looked at it side to side, you didn't know much about guns but it seemed to be a real revolver.
Then, he came back to the living room, a red wine bottle and two wine glasses in his hands, eyes widening when he saw what you were holding and the shocked look on your face.
"Why do you have a gun?"
#the salesman imagine#the salesman x reader#the recruiter imagine#the recruiter x reader#squid game imagine#squid game x reader
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There's so much tension in the bisexuality of it all because like yes I like Glinda and Elphaba together and they are wonderful and foils, but I also really like Fiyero and his role as someone more unconditionally supportive in a way Glinda was not yet able to be, but the fact that Elphaba ends up with Fiyero is cast as "heternormative" without regard for Elphaba being read as bisexual.
I understand that in writing, choices are made, by people telling the story, and it's not the same as a woman ending up with a man but this is also something faced by real life women. A pansexual best friend of mine sometimes laments that she is now "more heterosexual" because she fell in love with a man, I know several bisexual women who feel excluded from pride and community or undeserving of their place because they are married to men. Lady fricking Gaga of "born this way" fame doesn't feel like she belongs with us because her attraction to women is primarily sexual in nature, for gosh sakes! There are so many bisexual people in hetero-appearing relationships and erasing them all is crazy.
There is no easy answer to a bisexual's place in media, especially not if they're monogamous. And, to be fair, I think in the case of Wicked it would actually be consistent and satisfactory for Elphaba to have romance with both of them. It would, however, no longer be a tradgey if she ends up with Glinda, so we also have to ask whether the story functions better this way as a tradgey or not.... as someone notorious for enjoying uncomplicated happily-ever-afters, well, yknow, I have my own thoughts. But even if the show wants to be a tradgey, I dislike thinking the tragic part is that it's "heteronormative" because Elphaba loves a man. The tradgey is that Glinda could not find it within herself to choose doing good until she was too late, that Elphaba was painted as wicked before she had a chance, and so much else. Elphaba, the person who is truly good, gets to have a quiet happy ending with a loved one but loses her sister and has to give up her fight to do so, whereas Glinda gets everything she thought she wanted at the expense of maybe the only genuine relationship she's ever had, the only person who sees her for who she is AND who she could be. I like that story. I am open to other endings as well. I can't wait to see what they do with it.
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I LOVE THIS SMMMMM IM EATING ALL OF UR IDEAS DERWW.......TYSM FOR SHARING THIS IM VERY HAPPY TO LISTEN TO UR YAPS ^-^ i know this is a bit . of a late response and i am so sorry LOL i was typing a lil reply and i forgot for. 2 weeks. but ive been Rotating ur ideas in my head lots :D ill be njce and put my yaps under the cut bc as expected i say The Absolute Most always
oh my GODDDD i didnt even THINK abt how fucked it is for zam for jumper of all people to be soulbound to His Poafa. like one of the few people zam holds a deeprooted resentment for and one of the people zam genuinely Cannot handle ever losing. and to rub salt in the wound, his own soulmate is someone he does care abt. but who he cannot trust w how much 4c hides from him. i actually feel like 4c's secrets would frustrate him even more when they become soulmates bc he is in a position where hes reminded of his own attachment to 4c, and the resentment that comes w it bc of 4cs refusal to be upfront w him bc he would be More fine w 4cs inability to be by his side if he knew WHY. but 4c cant tell him. wont tell him so its like.....itll def be the same even as soulmates so i feel like they def have that underlying tension LOL
MAPICC AND SUBZ.....yeah omg i agree bc i feel like in Theory they could be arguably one of if not the strongest soulmate pair w how skilled in pvp they both are but subz's apathy and lack of care would definitely demotivate mapicc so theyd both just kinda. not do much together? like they dont officially ever split but the extent of their relationship is respecting each others self sufficiency and strength enough to expect the other to Not Die. like they do very much just do their own thing and hang out w other people for the most part in my mind yk? id imagine mapicc does just spend more time w other people for the duration of the event and sometimes subz is there. itd be Fun if they fought but idt anyone would be dumb enough to fight a mape and a subz @_@
derap and flame.....they fucking cooked oh my god LMFAO like im sorry but i cant imagine them having a good relationship at any point. even w flame trying to stick close to derap so he doesnt qd as fast, i feel like theyll fight a lot. i can def see derap being the type to taking like 15 hearts of dmg at once just to scare flame just bc he knows flame cant kill him ToT. its funny bc flame & derap and mane & wemmbu being paired is basically recreating bfb minus pentar, so derap and wemmbu would theoretically be safe if wemmbu didnt decide to kill himself to troll/spite mane bc u are right like i can Absolutely see him doing that and itd cause just. so many issues. but like it is incredibly funny LMFAO
MINUTE AND PLANET....as long as they stay Away from dangerous places like spawn i can see them surviving pretty well too ^-^ i can actually see mapicc kinda being their protector bc like. well. planet and minute are there but assuming bacon will stick closer to them as well since planet is Playing The Server and at more risk than usual— thats three people mapicc likes a lot for him to play the server w!! tho i do think he does just hover around like minute, zam, or ro whenever bc as i mentioned before subz's apathy would probably make him feel like....not rly wanted or needed. esp bc subz is already fully capable and fine doing everything on his own
okay but lowk e and clown nd like rek and spoke would probably actually be the strongest/healthiest soulmates based on team chemistry And bc they dont have any past Issues that get in their way. i mean sure, e and clown did duel for immortality but im p sure they still have a good relationship from what ive heard from others? so i can Absolutely see either of them winning LOL. like it might even be a case of clown and e being in the lead w kab and pentar heavily supporting nd helping them at every turn only for spoke and rek to swipe the victory at the last moment LOL. bc ur Absolutely right like w how tricky both lf them can be, theyd Find A Way to sneak the win w some elaborate plan. stickler-empire alliance saying strong frfr.......
im also kinda obsessed w how woogie & jaron nd pangi & jepexx are both pairs on the Opposite sides of the "its so over" spectrum. like woogie nd jaron recognize they arent winning and get silly w it while pangi starts planning his own funeral immediately 😭😭😭 i can actually Hear in pangis voice how agonized he would be upon finding out his soulmate is jepexx LOL
ro and ash being the ones who start some fuckass sideplot Absolutely tracks tbh, and obviously i support them ^-^ tho i absolutely think theyd get their asses handed to them bc ro is a lil 6 heart chungus and theyre both washed at pvp /lh /aff 🫶🫶 tho i do Fully believe theyd get at least like.....some kills :D
lifesteal double life au ^-^ !! basically what it says on the tin:
i put all of the lsers into a randomizer wheel and paired them off. in my mind its kind of just a one off event that takes place during s6, its like its own little arc that goes for at least two weeks, possibly a bit longer tho!!! and i have removed certain players simply bc i cannot realistically imagine them logging in even for day 1 of the event LMFAO.
ls mechanics are the same— you kill you (and ur soulmate) gain a heart, you die and you (and ur soulmate) lose a heart. ADDITIONALLY, i heavily fw the idea that if ur soulmate is banned, you Also get banned ^-^ even if ur on 20, your hearts simply drop on the ground after u die if ur banned bc it makes things ✨️interesting✨️ tho thats all i have so if anyone has any other ideas or disagrees w me then pls feel free to tell me all abt it bc im just saying shit LOL
anyways! soulmates will be under the cut :D
[the people who have been excluded are leo, mrcube, redd, spep, terry, and vortex @_@ im sorry to fans of them i just can nawt imagine them participating for even a day]
and. dear fucking LORD do we have some crazy match ups oh my god?? 😭😭 the balancing is fucking insane bc to me hearts are NOT given or taken away for any sort of balancing purposes, they have what they had before the event started yk? so soulmates taking care of each other and communicating is even MORE important than anything
and like theoretically people are still in the teams they had before the event, theres technically no rules saying u Need to dedicate urself to your soulmate but considering the type of server ls is, keeping ur soulmate close to u is very likely life or death. like esp for a pair like say...planet and minute bc anyone who has a bone to pick w minute could so easily farm a planetlord over it nd ban them both from the server so being able to protect ur soulmate is just as important as staying safe yourself yk?
its crazy bc u have teams that are definitely just fucking cooked like planet & minute (current 7 heart chungus) or like pangi & jepexx, but u also have teams that are hella fucking cracked in Theory like mapicc & subz bc theyre both cracked at pvp but i actually just dont know how well theyd work as a pair or if theyd EVEN work together or if theyd just do their own thing and expect the other to not die LMFAO.
like, its just so interesting to think abt soulmate dynamics and how this event would affect each preexisting teams. how loyal people would feel towards their soulmates & whether this would change things after the event in regards to Team loyalty and who would grow attached to their soulmates after the fact......or who would hate their soulmates, and who would become enemies bc of this event LOL
#dlsau#i think that was my tag for it?#idek LOL#but yes i still think sm abt this au#double life mechanic for lsers would be so funnnnnnn#pls....
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Do you have any headcanons about Ponyboy getting appendicitis or his appendix bursting?
do I 🤩
So. It all started pretty mildly. Pony had a stomachache for a few days and Darry assumed it was a stomach bug he got at school or something but after a few days pass it's obvious it's MUCH worse.
It's safe to say Pony's NOT having a good time 😭 he's in pretty serious pain, with a rising fever. Once it hits 102 with no signs of stopping Darry takes him to the ER.
Ponyboy's freaking out the whole time (as far as he's concerned he's already dead 😭) so Soda has to lie w/ him to keep him calm enough to be able to cooperate w/ medical staff.
He's diagnosed pretty quickly?? Thankfully Darry acted fast and the doctor tells them they came right on time.
I dare to say Ponyboy's a little.... excited to have appendicitis (he reads a lot of books OK? And A LOT of people in books seem to get appendicitis... and just. his own morbid curiosity distracts him from his fear just for a little bit).
He kinda starts freaking out when they take him into the operating room :( he's been glued to Soda the whole time up to this point 😭 but thankfully the doctor is nice to him; Pony tells him about his friends and the books he's reading until he passes out.
The surgery ends up going pretty well (it's pretty damn swollen, but it doesn't burst). Ponyboy deliriously asks the doctor if he can see it when it's over, and to his surprise he's able to (in a jar of fluid for a moment. It's the 60s what can I say)
After that he stays a few days in the pediatric ward, he's a little shit only some of the time (but everyone there is used to it. kids don't like hospitals 😭)
Ofc everyone visits him. Darry even gets a day off of work and spends the whole day at his bedside. A few kids from school even write him a card when they figure out he's sick and he's genuinely surprised how many people sign it?
Overall. It's a pretty neutral experience 😭 Ponyboy IS happy he gets a tuff scar tho. He'll show it off to everyone and anyone who he mentions it to
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Hey I heard that you've been having issues with some friends lately about politics lately and was wondering how you're.... dealing, I guess? I'm not American, but my 3 best friends of seven years are. I've considered these people my platonic soulmates and boxes of gifts are still sitting in my closet addressed to them.
But ever since the US. Elections this year, I've felt really sick thinking about people voting for the Dems after they livestreamed a genocide. And none of my friends particularly *like* the Dems at all and think they're complicit and need to do better, but they also did still vote for them in the hopes of not losing insulin/hormones/welfare money they need to live.
And I don't want my friends to suffer or die, but I also feel really gross thinking about my friends doing that. I've tried explaining to them that the Dems aren't any good for us, but they always retort that they need to try in order to live and I never know what to say.
I'm pretty new to any serious leftist movements and don't think I'd really be ready to meet people in a group like that so like,,,, should I keep trying to get through to them since they agree the Dems aren't good? Is that what you've been doing?
I've tried explaining my feelings to people IRL from my country and they all basically agree that "Americans just want to avoid Trump hurting them" and I feel really isolated and scared. This whole debacle has kind of crushed my belief in love and soulmates (platonic or otherwise) and now I don't see much point in continuing to be alive if I have to just cut off every person I've ever known or loved and be alone until I die.
I really hope you aren't experiencing the same feelings I'm going through and that something that makes you really really happy happens this week. And that your wedding goes well! Don't let anybody say you don't deserve to be happy!
Well I can't really speak on soulmates fr, but you wouldn't have to "be alone until you die" if you found community that thought more like you 😅 and I'm not saying that to be snarky, I am completely genuine. For all the peers whose respect I don't have for my beliefs, I have found people that did, that helped me feel reinforced. You said you're not ready to get serious, but when you are, just know that that's what these movements and groups are for! Maybe you'll find different soulmates there! Maybe it's time to let go of the old ones that served a different time for you.
I'm sorry that your friends are not on the same page as you, though. Me personally, when it comes to these things, I am absolutely a black sheep. But I don't try to convince people in my life anymore. I loudly let it be known where I stand so that they cannot deny there is another reality than what they see, that I will not be moving, and that's it. Convincing people who are more concerned with themselves than they are anything else has not served me. I don't talk to people who aren't trying to listen to me 🤷🏾♀️ When they're ready to actually listen, then get ready to talk! But the same way you can't persuade them (as of right now), you don't have to let them pressure you, either. I might just be jaded, though. I've allowed a lot of bridges to slowly burn. If they rebuild it, or stop the fire, then that's how it'll be.
Educating yourself is also a great way to reinforce your perspective; part of the reason I'm so confident is because I take the time to read. The things I can't put into words, a LOT of other people across many cultures have! So I'm not blind! I personally value my integrity above social standing, bc at the end of the day you're gonna die with you, and I'll be damned if I never stood for shit bc "clout" by people who only liked me for conforming lmao. I gotta like ME by the end of my life. And ik that's easier said than done, and it does disappoint very often but... I try to do it.
I wish I had better advice for you; I'm sure that was not the soft answer you needed 😅 I appreciate you reaching out to me, and I hope you find the strength within you to continue. 🙏🏾
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I want you to know I adore every piece of Logan fan art you've done. I keep coming back to them. THANK YOU for making art!!
stop this is SO SWEET!! 🥹💝 thank YOU for your kind words and for supporting me, i've never had so many people seeing my art before and that warms my heart, i read every single comment/tag every day!! ^_^
have a wip comic wolvie!
#my first ask yippeeee#genuinely so happy to see so many people liking what i do#it's been like 12 years since i started posting art online and only now people actually *see* them somehow. bless tumblr tag system#it feels so weird but refreshing#now when i open tumblr im always smiling bc of the hilarious comments in the tags haha and the really nice compliments too#truly thank you :]#ghostlydoodles#ghost writing#< this is gonna be my ask tag please its a pun#wolverine#bamf
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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A lil guy !
#honkai star rail#dan heng#genuinely have a million things i wanna draw and then zero energy#so dan heng in a hoodie#now i gotta go get dinner sooooo maybe that will give energy and then i can draw more of what i actually wanna draw#but i kinda spent like ... hours ? talking to my mom earlier today#since shes been in the hospital for many many days#so i was catching her up on whats been goin on and showed her silly lil videos#and telling her how hyped i was for summer hrid and she (very patient with my fe talk)#was like you always tell me about banners being bad so it must have made you REALLY happy to say the whole banner is good#and im like yeah and i had multiple people on multiple sites like hey salmon/moeblob did ya see the banner#and she was like thats so cool that people acknowledge who you like and im like yeah it is p cool#and then i told her how mad i was at the absolutely criminal act of limiting how you can watch clue (1985 hit movie)#like i told her yeah sure i own it twice on dvd and once on itunes and that the only way to watch those#are either desktop or ps2 and how i dont have access to my itunes email#and i dont have it on my laptop so i sadly would have to rebuy the movie on itunes under a new acct#then i said how i loved that it was free to watch with ads on yt and id watched it twice that way#but then recently wanted to watch it on there but laptop and hoo boy you have to buy or rent it now#so i v angrily was like fine whatever ill do the thing and leave my room and go watch it on my moms tv#while she isnt around and use her amazon prime where it should be included except ! IT WASNT!#YOU HAVE TO HAVE PRIME TO BUY OR RENT IT NOW TOO!#HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY ! who in the world is watching this movie so much that isnt me that they have to charge for it now#on all platforms unless you straight up pirate it#and hey why would i of all people be needing to pirate a movie i own physically two times and digitally once#this is literally a personalized attack to me#and my mom was like i understand how you feel cause yeah thats really weird to do to a 1985 movie#and im like yes exactly i have morals and principles that make me opposed to this and its v maddening#and she said she understood and its ok next time we are having power issues and i have to shut down#that if i really wanna watch it i can rent it on her amazon account and i looked at her and shes like oh you feel v strongly about this#and i do! I HAVE HAD IT GIFTED TO ME TWICE ! I BOUGHT IT ONCE! WHY DO I HAVE TO RENT IT FOR MORE MONEY!
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so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and
#disventure camp#disventure camp fanart#tristan vik#disventure camp tristan#ghostofsnails#my art#It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this#like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them#ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON#actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball#i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped#i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so#kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth#stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy#they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too#Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR#CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine “i feel seen” feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN#THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.
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The Syd Poll
the topic of this poll is one that is frequently avoided in the pink floyd fandom, but inevitably one we all consider – our individual views on what we think caused syd's psychological struggles (and by extension, led to his departure from the band). I think that – at least in this neighborhood of tumblr – this is a conversation we are capable of having in a way that is civil, nuanced, and at least minimally disrespectful to syd.
So, to help facilitate this, here are some ground rules:
let's all assume we have a mutual understanding of the complexities of this. syd could never actually be reduced down to a poll, and all of our viewpoints are limited in various ways
the poll options just serve as just a conversation starter, and responses are not necessarily a statement of absolute beliefs
feel free to discuss as much or as little of your own perspective as you feel comfortable sharing.
in the case that debates break out, please try to assume good intent – and also demonstrate it (unless, for instance, someone is being blatantly insulting beyond a misunderstanding that needs correcting)
please do NOT vote if you are not actually a pink floyd fan with at least basic knowledge about what we're talking about here.
The options I've included below are not meant to be exhaustive, they are simply the "theories" that I have seen most commonly circulated. I have also decided not to include combinations. I'm fairly sure we'd all agree multiple factors were involved. Rather than make the poll too complicated, I ask you to instead select the one that you think is the "most" important to your viewpoint, and clarify further in your tags/comments as you wish.
so. here we go.
READ BEFORE VOTING ^^^^
(note of correction: "late-onset schizophrenia" should just be "schizophrenia". the typical timeline for onset of symptoms is late adolescence/early adulthood, so syd would've been well within that period at the time)
#pink floyd#syd barrett#//#I will sacrifice myself and go first with way too much detail. hopefully it will help other people feel more comfortable talking#I chose consensual use of psychedelics. mainly bc I am fairly certain that he suffered from severe hppd#it stands for 'hallucinogen persisting perception disorder' –speaking crudely its 'did too much acid and got stuck like that'#I do NOT expect this kind of oversharing from anyone else but the reason I think that is because -I- definitely have that#its comparatively mild but I notice a lot of the same kind of impacts.#I'm more prone to dissociation and overstimulation. it takes more mental energy to communicate. my perception plays a bit fast and loose.#(again. it's not -that- bad. and NO pity for me this was a completely predictable outcome that I DO think is a little funny) but digressing#I can clearly see how if those symptoms were significantly escalated it would be just like what was described by ppl who knew syd#I think its very unkind to refer to him as a “drug casualty”#but I'm fairly confident anyone who's done acid would say by about hour 8 of the trip “okay. yah. too much of this could do that to someone#in other words –although I'm pretty sure syd was also neurodivergent– I do think its at least possible that the lsd couldve been enough#I'm happy to talk more about any of this in asks/dms if anyone wants. genuinely very cool with discussing it#but anyway. that's my take – obviously based entirely on anecdotal evidence tho so take that with as many grains of salt as you wish
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dude how the fuck is it that everyone on this server has insane chemistry with each other. my brain just fuckin bounces between dynamics like wow foolish and bad, wow baghera and forever, wow baghera and bagi, wow philza and etoiles, wow fit and pac, wow pac e mike, wow favela five AND six (bagi screeching "DON'T MESS WITH FAVELA" paraphrased had my mental hamster wheel hitting unprecedented rpms), wow the french and the french + bebou, wow antoine and mouse, wow bagi and tina, wow tina and forever, wow morning crew, wow slime and mariana WHO I'VE SEEN INTERACT LIVE O N E TIME, wow rivers and roier wow, wow rivers + the vaca crew, wow girl town, wow jaiden and roier, wow baghera bad and forever, wow forever and cellbit, wow cellbit and tazercraft, wow cellbit and roier, wow quackity and etoiles, wow phil and forever, wow bad and etoiles, wow tina and etoiles (fucking love them), wow aypierre and maximus (what the fuck, love it), wow foolish and jaiden (and also bad), wow missa and phil, holy shit jaiden and cellbit, jesus christ antoine and maximus and SEE
I AM MISSING A MILLION INTERACTIONS THAT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY GONE INTO MY SIBLING'S TEXTS TO SAY "GOD I LOVE THEM" AND I GUARANTEE I WILL ADD TO AND UPDATE THIS LIST WITH MORE (bc wit of the staircase) there is so much enrichment in my enclosure my brain literally doesn't know what to do with it. i've stalled out. i'm so happy. how the fuck did they do this.
additionally, bc i KNEW i'd forget something: foolish and vegetta (HOW), cellbit and baghera, baghera and fit, mouse and cellbit
#qsmp#shut up vic#block game brainrot#i'm literally so excited for whenever german and lenay find time to play#esp bc i haven't seen german since his first day and i'm excited to get to know him#im really glad lenay was able to be there for the timer event that was really cool to see her there#honestly that goes for all the members i haven't been able to see on much#like niki and luzu and mariana and the like#genuinely i'm just so happy watching these people bounce off each other#their energy is incredible and it's so fun to watch#this is not an exhaustive list and i think that's really telling that i can name so many fucking dynamics and still not have named them all#i'm extremely happy. this is very cool what they've managed to do. holy fuck man. i'm never gonna be able to express it fully.
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rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo
This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.
I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.
This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.
I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.
#... we will not be addressing that i'm a dead blog#no one say a WORD about my inactivity for 4 years this isn't about that /lh#also if anyone tries to get smart about “romani isn't a race” i don't care and you can shut up.#it's an ethnic and cultural identity. and it should be portrayed correctly.#ESPECIALLY for a character like *victor von doom* of all people. like it is fundamental to him.#i would've included panels of the comics mentioned but most of them use the g-slur and i don't wish to encourage that here#like listen i don't think you need to be a comics fan to be an mcu fan. they're so divorced from each other atp#nor do i think the mcu owes complete comic accuracy. but i do think you should at *least* care when characters are whitewashed.#look. i really don't want this to be a debate on if rdj's return is good or not#i've been frankly baffled at how many old mutuals are excited but. whatever if you want him back i get it.#but it shouldn't be like this. not at the expense of a different character.#this whole thing made me realize i'm *far* more jaded and turned off to the mcu than most of you guys are.#which is fair you can still be an mcu fan. if it brings you joy i'm so happy for you#but how does this like. bring joy i don't get it.#this is soulless. it's uninspired. it's done purely for shock value.#i occasionally get asks to this blog about why i left and asking me to come back#and i get it. i *want* to come back.#but i don't *care* about the mcu anymore. this is not the franchise i fell in love with.#i don't recognize what once meant everything to me.#winteriron will always hold a special place in my heart (as will tony stark)#but like. i just don't have love for it. and it sucks that this bullshit from marvel actively kills the love i had.#this sours tony stark to me. i'm sorry but it does. because was it really worth this? is this what his legacy has become?#this does cheapen his legacy btw. like without question. it turns him into a cheap cameo reference. heart of the mcu my ass.#my fandom circles have *massively* changed#i'm now entirely surrounded by comics fans bc my primary fandom is dc comics. that's what i'm up to these days#and the difference was actually baffling to me. everyone i follow now is *pissed* about this. comics twitter is so mad.#and then i see ppl on here excited and i'm just genuinely surprised this is something you want. i don't get it.#i don't say that to be rude. i just don't get it. how is *this* actually something people *want*.#do i still care about marvel? eh.#i like winter soldier comics and i could give a comprehensive rec list. and i read some other characters i deeply enjoy.
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#feeling so silly lawwlll walking in circles#i thnk im feeling a special type of way ..#i know i keep going on ab the samw bs and how crazy gf YEAAH UEAH WE GET IT#but i thnk in doing so im like revisiting parts of myself and writing more and i think im jst being sentimental#sooo sentimental .. so saccharine ..#everyone has been rly nice ab my art LIKE SOOOOO NICE RECENTLY#and imean people always have like im very lucky and grateful 2 be able to feel like i can share my hobby .. ^__^#but i thjnk like . to take smth that is so representational of my like . art goals and wants from a young age#ouuyyyyuuuuuyyfff T__T ooiujjjjjj#I DONT KNWWW i dont know . i dont know what im saying but i feel like i just need 2 talk abd be like hey this is so reaffirming .needs 2#i think like . bc my life turned out soo different than i imagined ive been dealing w like . a lot of hopelessness and feeling soo stuck and#stagnant and idk bad things and in a way i think like . coming back 2 something years later and being able to see progress in such a physica#physical way and to feel like more at ease and more like myself than i ever have is rly crazy and making me think long and hard abt stuff#and its all of these like . reflections im dealing w that r then padded by like some of the nicest comments and tags itslike#head in my hands /pos . grief but like ij a way happy grief#INFEEL SOOO RIDICULOUS its ridiculous it rly is IHAHAHAHAHAHA#i think its bc im turning 25 soon and thats the age i told myself id never live past iykwim which ks like crazy to drop on tmblrdotcom#but there r so many emotions tied 2 that and i think this is just one of the things^ stupid fanart ^ that makes me rly happy idk#do you know what i mean . like i feel so goofy saying it but its genuinely the connection i rly appreciate and means a lot 2 me#i feel like my ‘thank yous/i appreciate it/ means a lot’ grow tired but its soo fr every time i swear#kicking rocks or watever . i wish i cld extend my gratitude but anyways . thanks 4 reading this far if u have#ughg man and i think of the friends ive made thru this blog specifically nd my eyes r burning#sorp.. guys i love u all thank u.
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#edel vents#disclaimer: really personal issues in the tags. also wishes of death upon others. this is PROBABLY too much information tbh...#so if you're not up for it scroll down fast!!!! the deluge is coming!!!#today was... eventful. bad. also very bad. grandma's birthday celebration was today#and while she... definitely has Old People Issues (racist) shes also very lonely since the death of my grandfather so i can't really not go#i'm the only one who really visits her regularly to begin with#aside from the... very serious racism issue... she's “alright”. i guess. but that's besides the point. there's family there#and among those... my parents. which i don't like to talk to#discovered they threw more of my old stuff away. typical. wanted to strangle them. as usual.#had to “talk” with my mother (read: spend approximately ten seconds reciting exactly why i *don't* talk to her anymore)#so that whole ordeal completely soured my mood.#went home tired. can't really do anything right now.#at least the food was good i guess. but i also really want to cry... which i can't. which sucks.#...i really like to think i've improved as a person. i used to be really hateful of everything and everyone#worst of all myself. still kinda do but i'm... getting better..?#i like to think i've grown past most of it but every time i see my parents i feel this gripping at my heart. as if i haven't really changed#as if instead i'm still the hateful person i “always was” deep down... bc there's this visceral joy that i feel whenever i'm mad at them.#when i looked at my mother and told her how much i despise her i felt a shiver of happiness. righteousness.#to be clear: i do NOT care for her. at all. she's the worst person on this earth#and the only person whom my philosophy of “nobody deserves to die” does NOT apply to. i'm not scared of hating her.#she genuinely deserves this. but...every time i see my parents - and thus her... i feel as if i'm slipping back into that mindset of hatred#i don't want that. not anymore. it consumed me whole. i was a horrible person back then and i've caused so much grief for so many#i can't let go of this hatred. i can't forgive them. they don't deserve my forgiveness anyway. but i'm tired of hating.#i'm tired of letting that hatred define me. i'm tired of letting that hatred direct me. i'm tired of letting it bring me to ruin.#i'm tired of being who i was. i'm no longer “that”. i'm edel now and i'm happy for people now. if i don't like something i just walk out.#i can just leave. “if it sucks hit the bricks” right?.. but i didn't. i had to say it. i had to tell them. her. and i liked it.#and... i'm scared of that. because it tells me i haven't improved.#i'm not sure what i'm expecting out of posting this i guess. maybe help. maybe i wanna be told that this is normal or something.#maybe i just want to get my thoughts in order. i don't know. i'm gonna stop writing now.#sorry for making you read all this. thanks for doing it anyway. tags were cut off on this one btw so it may look like a mess. but. yeah.
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Reading moodboard #84430940 (Patreon)
#Doodles#I wonder what this is in reference to lol - could be anything really!#Bit funny actually - I was reading something else in overlap at the time - a fic from another fandom though it ended up not being for me#Different authors just speak to different people! It was fun to come back to something familiar and realize Just how much I appreciate it ah#Novel and familiar! My very favourite <3 And of course it was a wonderful experience on top of that hehe ♪♫#Numbers lol - I really have done way too much age headcanon math pfft#I just love timelines! And even if the hints aren't exact they /are/ hints and I'm going to use them!!#The numbers that are established are such fun markers - and using characterization as hints towards how many years have passed! Ah! ♪#Like how it's definitely possible that Max took a two year but considering his family he was probably pushed to do a four year#There's no confirmation either way but it's just so fun to consider what they'd do based on how they're written!#These are the kind of written math problems I enjoy hehe#I was being a bit self-deprecating for that doodle actually tho lol - art mimics life and all that pfft#Also confirmation of him being a Lit Major ❤️💕💖💞💗 Small details give me big love you must understand this lol#As evidenced lol ♪ Adding to my playlist definitely didn't help it very strongly upgraded to Big Love for like a week straight lol#Terrible ♪ Couldn't stand it <3 Genuinely painful ♫#Lol - ''finding'' more - it's what had my blood on fire! I'm so grateful for mirrors#Anyone who's been following me for a while knows I have this whole thing about Legacy and what you leave behind and the internet in general#That the internet is forever except when it's not - that plenty of things get deleted or lost etc. etc. and it makes me very sad :(#So seeing that there was an in-built preservation - it only saved Some things but anything saved is precious!! It made me very happy <3#And then finishing off 💔💕 Beautifully heartbreaking ah#Even skim-reading later made me cry again! It's deeply affecting hhh#Another experience I'm so happy to be able to have ♥ Another tally on the wall haha <3
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excellent excellent weekend :) yayyy
#cat's positivity#im feeling happy and surprisingly not hungover but im about to make a killer sausage and egg sandwich#i had a date with a lovely person on friday and we hit it off so well!!!#ended up staying at theirs till like 2pm the next day because we chatted so much#and they wanna see me again :) said i was very good looking and had great social skills (girl whattt)#shes really lovely and so interesting too#and then had a halloween party last night which was so fun and i talked to so many people and laughed really hard#genuinely i DO feel like i have great social skills after this weekend adfhghjs i won them all boys!!!#what a high to ride
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