#genuinely incredible. and genuinely edible!

[daylighted]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤBETTER BIRTHDAYS — vampire!dean

slowly, dean is learning to love his birthdays again, after going for decades without letting himself.

not what i intended to write, and not as good as i wish it was, but to be fair to myself i have sickness. and i'm NOT missing out on my beloved baby's birthday! if logistics don't make sense, i don't care. that's fiction baby! vampire!dean is just rent free so it was inevitable.

it wasn’t supposed to be possible.

it was one of those things that dean came to terms with when he’d been turned so long ago — a family? was not something that was personally in dean’s cards. he’d have an infinite life, yes, but any family he wanted would have to be made or created, and not in the way that he’d ever get a chance to hold something so small that was part him.

dean forgot often that the impossible seemed to happen a lot around him.

there was a moment when he thought that being with you was a fate destined for doom. but every step of the way, you’d helped convince him that decades of isolation did not equate to deserving said isolation, and slowly, he’d let you make a home in his heart.

you accepted him for what he was. you trusted him with all you had; let him into your heart, your house, and every room that was deigned yours. no secrets, you’d promised.

it was a promise you held true to, because on a day he’d always remember, june 27th, you’d sat him down and told him that you were pregnant. and, on top of that initial shock, you were three months along.

he’d used the word impossible over and over throughout your pregnancy. this was not something for dean to pour his hope into and get attached to. it had to be a mistake; it had to be a misunderstanding — something.

but on dean’s birthday, a day he refused to celebrate anymore because of how many he’d had, a day that you took into your own hands and made him celebrate anyway—

a little boy was born.

a son with his hair, his face, and your eyes. so human and so real that it stole his breath away, unable to breathe at all even if he wanted to try again.

and it only got more chaotic from there. the little boy was an absolute devil; just as dean had been before sam was born, and before his father sank into a depression that drowned both of them. cassius winchester was a little force with sharp teeth and an affinity for crawling after him everywhere that dean went.

everything about cassius was impossible. that was why he’d been given the name, after all; helmeted warrior, it meant, so nothing could take him, so nothing would try to. now that dean had him, it was not going to be so easy to pry him away.

it was cassius’s third birthday, which meant it was dean’s… he’d lost count, really. either way, it was an incredibly special day for you. your two boys, one grown and one anew, and while you didn’t fit the mold when it came to the family dynamic that your boys painted, you certainly made up for it with your enthusiasm.

“blood in the icing?” you’d asked dean the moment he stepped downstairs, cassius balanced on his hip. “would that make it any more edible for you? for cassy?”

dean, taken aback for a moment, raises his eyebrows. “what would you eat, then?”

“i’m sure a little iron in my diet won’t hurt me.”

his scoff is an amused one, his eyebrows furrowing when he feels a sharp nip on his fingertip. in cassius’s mouth is dean’s finger, gnawing on it like it were nothing more than a teething toy.

his lips quirk up. he hasn’t genuinely grinned in so long that it feels almost foreign all of the time to do it now, since he met you, and even more since cassius. “on second thought, it might not be a bad idea.”

you stop the stand mixer to glance up at them, your eyes glimmering with that look that dean always refused to address. so much love for one person always made him feel on edge, like one day it would all fall away, like everyone else he’d loved prior. his fears had never once deterred you. perhaps it was why he, too, loved you so fiercely.

“he finally learned how to use those little teeth?” you ask, circling around the kitchen island to stand in front of dean and cassius, your expression alight. “what a milestone, my love. and on your third ever birthday.”

it certainly was a milestone. cassius had not let up his biting, little pinches that were certainly going to leave his finger raw for a few hours while it tried to heal. already, dean was planning on tossing all of the teething toys in the house away; he did not care for them like he cared for dean’s pointer finger.

you press a kiss to dean’s cheek, cassius’s forehead, before turning back to the slightly/less-dusty kitchen again. it’d been practically gray before you, but you had to eat, didn’t you? the scattered leftovers of human and forest creature in the boxed refrigerator did nothing for you. but you stop quickly, your eyes widened when you spin back around.

“wait!” you say on a gasp, grabbing something from underneath the countertop. two somethings. very shiny somethings. you jog back up to dean, looping the string of one underneath his chin and planting the birthday hat securely on his head, and doing the same for cassius, albeit with a smaller one. “happy birthday, my boys.”

dean tries to not let it affect him so deeply. how long had it been since his birthday felt like something to be celebrated and not a burden? there were so many years of those feelings that he did not understand yet how to react in instances like this, in the sheer warmth that you and cassius’s joy brought to him.

you were well aware of dean’s affinity for privacy. he was reserved, had made a home in the reservation, and would not leave it, not when he was so comfortable. so you did not call upon his sired to come celebrate — especially not them, when he was only beginning to heal the self-deprecation that came from their being there.

you did, though, dust away his hallway of their paintings, and uncover his painting supplies again. it was special to him, after all, and a hobby he’d locked away for too long after realizing the solace he found in keeping memories forever was embedding him into the past.

the paints and the blank canvasses were neatly wrapped in your room, along with a smaller box — dean’s present pile. there were more toys wrapped in a pile next to it, toys that cassius was far too spoiled already to need, but deserved anyways.

dean is not amused by the blindfold you put over his eyes as you led him to your shared room. or really, he was incredibly amused, but not so much to find out that all it served for was a dramatic way to lead him to his gifts while cassius napped downstairs.

“there are much more fun things that we could do with this blindfold,” he grumbles from in front of you, “there are much more fun things that we have done with it.”

“it is okay to be selfish and accept gifts sometimes, dean,” you say back, lightly kicking open the door with your foot to guide him inside.

dean is at his most shy and timid, somehow, on his birthday. as if he could make himself invisible and shrunken enough to be forgotten about, as if this day was not as equally about dean as it was cassius. “you are well aware of how little birthday gifts i’ve gotten over these years, aren’t you?”

“that is why i’ve got you three today.”

he can’t see, but he can hear the rustling of wrapping paper. shifting around, moving him as you so please, until he’s sat on the edge of the bed, and you are sitting at his feet in front of him, can feel the warmth of your humanity seeping into his legs.

something heavy lands in his lap.

“you may take it off,” you hum, and dean is not surprised to see that when he does, you are wearing a smug grin that makes you all the more beautiful. “go on. open it. that’s why gifts exist; to be opened.”

“i have not gotten a birthday gift in a while,” dean says with a huff, lifting his eyes as he tears into the wrapping paper to meet yours, “but that does not mean i need the process explained—”

his words die in his throat.

his paints. the ones that created life out of people he’d long killed. his heart falters. his mind blanks.

“this—” you pat the biggest gift behind you; flat and hollow when your hand touches it, “is some of the canvases i found too. i was just thinking— well, about how you paint everything you love in case it leaves.”

dean can’t even find the words to respond. his eyes stay locked on yours with a vulnerability you rarely see. “but i’m not leaving. and cassius is not leaving. and i think a family portrait for the front entrance would look lovely, don’t you?”

his swallow is thick and unnecessary, but he feels the lump in his throat and simply can’t help it.

instead of addressing your words, or the paints in his lap, or anything, he looks at the third present sat in your lap. his voice is raw when it comes out. “what is that one?”

dean’s paintbrushes, he assumes. fits the theme, would complete the puzzle.

your lips curl in a little grin. “those are cassius’s building blocks and perhaps a toy train. i can’t spoil everything.”

the attempt at lightening the mood works. he sets the paints aside and leans forward, lifting your chin with one finger and reaching into your lap with the other of his hands. “i meant this, little devil.”

there is no explanation or comments from you this time, as he opens it. it was hasty, the way he tore in, feeling light and airy like he did as a child on christmas. it’d been a long time since dean had felt so free.

it was not paintbrushes as he assumed, though. for the second time in one evening, you’d shocked the words out of him.

impossible, his mind begins to repeat again, but it’s quieter. less insistent. the voice of his subconscious had already been proven wrong once before.

a pregnancy test with two lines sits in the little jewelry box you’d tucked it away in.

the lump in his throat is tight, heavier. his mouth opens, closes, opens again, and no words come out. dean is left holding a pregnancy test between his fingers like it might break, left staring at the one person who heard his cries for company and answered with a family.

a family. how long had it been since he let himself dream? of this, of you, of anything?

“i know it is yours and cassius’s day, but i figured…” you don’t even need to finish the sentence for dean to get it. this was something that he’d wanted desperately, a secret he shared only with you. his childhood was bleak and unforgiving. all dean wanted was a chance to start anew and make it better.

here it was, in the form of a stick and a woman and a toddler.

he is more ginger with the pregnancy test than he was with the paints. as much as he appreciated the sentiments being brought back up, painting sam and judas had pulled all of the fun and the peace out of the hobby. he had no intention of digging back into the part of himself that loved the art of creation, in any way.

but now, in his head, there’s the grant entrance of his manor. and above the fireplace is you next to him in acrylic, a little cassius painted onto his hip, and a little baby in your arms. it would be updated every time his children grew. it would be updated every year, maybe even, so he could have multiples of you in the dresses he loved so dearly, and to see the progression of his kids. his family.

the hand on your chin moves to the back of your neck, tugging you up and into his arms. his eyes close, breathing you in slowly. he’s always loved the warmth of your livelihood, and it felt that much more intense, knowing that there was another life now, too.

“you have a talent for making a man forget he doesn’t deserve this,” he whispers into your throat.

you grasp at the sleeves of his coat, the grin on your face evident even as its buried into his chest. he can feel it, the pull of your lips, your smiling mouth in his shirt. “i hope to foster that talent, then. to become an expert in bringing you a lifetime’s worth of better birthdays.”

dean doesn’t know how to tell you that these years with you have done plenty. this was all he needed — you and the family you brought to him — to have better days and better birthdays.

so he stays silent and holds you to him, letting himself slip away into this life that felt more and more like a wish come true with every passing day.

and it is only when the sounds of little footsteps start stomping up the stairs toward your room, toward his presents, that dean’s eyes lift up to meet the sleep mussed little boy babbling to himself — and the big brother t-shirt you’d had him in, only now noticed.

notes. i literally woke up just to write this quick asf & post it PLS. if it sucks my bad. i'm just a girl. happy bday my pookie beloved baby waby!!!

tags. @titsout4jackles @moonstruksandco @starzify @ultravi0lence14 @itzavahere @sagegreen17 @bruceewayne @jays-bonnie-on-the-side @deansbeer @blushpinkdoll @warpedless @sabrinasopposite @k-slla @deansbite @foolinthera1n @honeyryewhiskey @angelblqde @whyyouegg @bluemerakis @fallbhind @florchids @figthoughts @beausling @chevroletdean @mccartneyqp @bluestrd @sthefferrete @rubyvhs @tortureddarkstar @aileenunfiltered @frosttbitessam @theosaurous

[kittenscookie]

Sorry but Im just inagining jason suddenly having a massive support system and being both incredibly overwelmed by the love he receives and also morning his statis as an only child

I genuinely don't think Jason would know how to react to suddenly having a family—a large one at that. In canon all he's got in terms of family is Thalia. But in the M.E Au basically this happens—

Jason: *Kinda nervous* Dad?

Hermes Table: *Silence*

Luke: Yeah kid?

Hermes Table: *DOUBLE SILENCE*

Every Other Table: *ALSO SILENCE*

Chris: ...We're really doing this?

Luke: We're really fucking doing this.

Chris: ...Aight.

Chris: *Throws Jason a bag of Takis*

Chris: Welcome to the family I guess.

Jason: ...Huh?

M.E Hermes: Okay what are the ground rules?

Luke: Ground rules?

M.E Hermes: You're the boy's adoptive father, not me. You have final say on what I can and can not give him.

Jason: ...*Head tilt*

Jason: Huh?

Luke: ...No alcohol until he turns eighteen.

M.E Hermes: Understandable.

Luke: No weed either.

M.E Hermes: *Absolutely aghast on Jason's behalf*

Everyone in Hermes Cabin: *Also aghast on their poor nephew's behalf*

Hermes and ALL the Cabins: AYE—!

Annabeth & Leo: No, no! He's got a point!

Everyone breaks out into an argument about whether or not Jason should be allowed weed before he turns eighteen. It is eventually decided that he can be given one edible every two weeks but in turn he can't have alcohol until he turns nineteen. But the entire time Jason is just like "...Huh?" and slowly being covered in snacks and non-alcoholic beverages. Then a month later Luke walks into the apartment to see Jason with a PowerPoint opened on the benefits of adopting another child—aka "I would like to have a sibling". He's still not used to this and probably never will be but siblings would still be nice.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for yelling at my classmate while high?

I (18m) accidentally took an edible Tuesday night, not realizing it was 1000mg. It's friday and I'm still high, and it's not going well. But anyway, I was standing where I usually do before class when a classmate (17f) who hadn't been at school all week started talking to me about why I was being so loud while talking. I (as calmly as I could) told her that it was because I was high, that I took a 1000mg edible tuesday night and wasn't doing well at all, and that I may not talk to her much because I'm high. She immediately started getting hyped, saying she was so incredibly jealous and she wanted to be high for 3 days straight. This is where I might be the asshole- I got upset and (my voice was really loud but I hadn't meant to yell) told her that it genuinely felt like I was dying and she shouldn't wish for this to be happening to her. She immediately yelled back, called me an asshole, said everybody had different experiences and I shouldn't yell even when I'm in the fucking weed torture nexus.

So AITA?

[luvnami]

i genuinely don't know what overcame me when i wrote this. but here, have modern!au sanemi baking with reader. hopefully you think it's funny, because i'll feel less braindead

baking together is not romantic. the idea itself is cute. execution of said idea, however, leaves much to be desired. 

“sanemi,” you begin, because names are always a good place to start, “this tastes like ass.”

before you is a comically flat loaf of bread. the crumb is incredibly dense (if it can even be called a crumb at all), the crust is as hard as a rock, and you’re pretty sure the yeast packet you used was expired.

you don’t know why you thought that baking bread was an easy process, considering that both you and shinazugawa are amateur bakers. you know how to cook, sure. baking, on the other hand, comparatively seems like rocket science. 

shinazugawa stares at the fruit of his labour on the kitchen counter. he raps his knuckles on the crust once, then twice. it sounds like he’s knocking on a brick. 

“jesus fucking christ,” he mutters. 

his arms are sore from kneading the dough. you had quickly grown tired of it, learning that reaching that perfect ‘gluten window’ was harder than it seemed, so you left it to your boyfriend with his big, strong biceps. surely all those hours in the gym must amount to something, right? it also gave you an excuse to gawk at him, in your extra pink apron and his forearms flexing with each knead. 

your apartment’s kitchen is now littered with baking utensils. you’ll find flour in the strangest places for the next two months, but that’s a problem for future you to deal with.

“well, that was a bust. what do we do with this?” you sigh, crossing your arms. 

shinazugawa sucks on his teeth. he was planning to make something edible for dinner out of the bread, but that’s clearly out of the question now. 

“fuck this. we’re getting takeout. we can feed the bread to, i don’t know, the pigeons at the park.”

“the pigeons? what if they choke and die! babe, this isn’t even bread. it’s an abomination.”

“fuck the pigeons.”

you gawk at shinazugawa. he’s serious. he’s going to feed the pigeons your failed gluten creation and newsflash: you’re getting arrested for killing the pigeon population at your local park. it’s a life sentence. you’ll never make it out alive. even if you do, the pigeons will send their strongest army to peck you to death. 

“babe! the pigeons! you can’t just say that!” you cry out. 

you lunge at shinazugawa and start weakly beating at his chest. he snorts. okay, maybe don’t fuck the pigeons. he catches you and squeezes you tight against him, ignoring your appeals to him to maybe care about the birds a bit more (he could give less of a fuck about them, though. damned things had a knack for assaulting him for his snacks). 

you’re both covered in flour, wearing matching aprons, and you’re all pressed up against him. next time, maybe you’ll start with cookies first. shinazugawa makes a mental note of that. 

“c’mon, we’ll order your favourite.”

your eyes sparkle. you momentarily forget about the pigeons. 

“really?”

shinazugawa melts a little when you look up at him, eyes wide and expectant. how can he say no? thank god for failed bread and stray birds. 

he kisses your forehead.

“of course.”

[snail-day]

hello, I'm currently going insane over the last part of "can my friend join". And i read your replies to asks related to that. And I'm going to ask something so crazy but I think it'd be soooo interesting, and something to ponder abt (for me at least)

Tw. Narcotics?

Say the reader gets their hands on edibles or something. Maybe weed to smoke or as brownies (because we know Suguru smokes/at least carries lighters. Maybe for this hypothetical scenario, let's assume he has it and that's how she got it). One of the effects can be that it makes you laugh uncontrollably about things that aren't THAT funny. And in general puts one in better mood.

Let's say satosugu see reader laughing her heart out at something random n silly and find out it's because she accidentally somehow consumed an edible.

(For the sake of this scenario, again, let's assume that the depression meds or some medical complications after so many pregnancies lead to reader being rendered infertile. So no question about any baby being harmed. )

In that case... how do they feel? Do they want her bubbly-ness back? Or are they now indifferent? Or do they hate her smiles and the sound of her laughter?

Will Suguru try to forcefully take away the edibles, (after a few times) if satoru is against the idea, coz satoru likes how you seem to have a bit of personality outside of being a cardboard cutout of the person you used to be? Will SATORU too put his foot down on letting you choose if or not you want to have access to these?

I am sorry in case i inadvertently offended you with this ask. I genuinely found it hilarious, imagining their confusion at first. It would be interesting to read about a scene where satoru and Suguru maybe cannot come to an agreement about a situation. And both are stubborn/ want control.

I understand if you won't want to answer this one, and i apologise in case you don't like stuff like this. I genuinely do not mean to make you uncomfortable.

Thank you for reading!

Anon, baby, it takes a whole lot to offend me. You're so freaking sweet, mwah.

TW: Narcotics, unedited, implied dubcon/noncon

I think I hinted at this in one of the previous asks, but yes, they definitely use narcotics. It’s kind of like a date night situation, because normally, you’re so numb. But when you’re high on that sweet little pill they give you? Oh my, you’re back to being the sweetest little thing.

Sure, you might be a little spaced out, and sure, you might not fully understand what’s going on. But Satoru loves the giggly mess you become. You let him hold you, nuzzle into you, and for once, you don’t resist. The sex is incredible for them because you actually seem like you’re enjoying it. You’re softer, more pliable, and sometimes, you even blurt out that you love them during it.

Those moments—hearing you say “I love you”—fuel both Satoru and Suguru’s belief that there’s still an ounce of the old you left inside. As much as they’d want to keep you drugged and loveable forever, Suguru worries about the long-term effects on your brain. So, he insists on keeping it as a weekly date night ritual.

On those nights, they send the kids out of the estate and have an absolute field day with you, indulging in every ounce of affection and compliance you offer under the influence of their little solution.

[mars-ipan]

here's that completed list btw. the fact that the nightmare category is the largest one amuses me

i love opening tierlistmaker to see whatever i was thinking of last time i was on the website. opened up the dangan list maker to see a partially completed list based on how i think they would be to smoke weed with

[canisbrutus]

PLEAAAAASEEEE DUMP ABOUT OLSENWIIIICCKKKKK🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

your wish is my command i adore these stupid faggots

Kirby & Trent 🍰🎬

inhalesssssss

these two are incredibly bonded despite everything.

but they damn sure didnt get off on a good start.

following my personal timeline trent had just broken things off with cornelius. and neither of them were particularly closeted or reserved about their faggotry.

so for a good minute kirby didnt even want to be seen talking to his gay ass at all in case it gave him a Reputation.

by some miracle they started talking, or rather, hurling insults at eachother thanks to trent spilling punch on kirby at the jock's halloween party.

the jocks love hosting shitass parties for a number of stupid reasons, you see. and trent likes getting wasted.

after a rough encounter at the punch bowl the two continued taunting eachother every time they made eye contact.

for entirety of one whole week, at least. then trent decided 'hey he's kinda cute when he's angry'

and so began the incredibly arduous task of: flirting with kirby until he stops yelling slurs (and throwing hands).

thankfully this Also took about a week and they moved onto just mumbling slurs inbetween smooches because of how insanely, well, sexually frustrated they were.

these teens are fucking insane but thats just how bullworth is.

trent then worked up the nerve to ask him on an actual date, kirby begrudgingly agreed, jimmy busted them while getting on pinky's good side, aaand trent got his ear chewed off for it.

they fought about kirby's whole internalized homophobia at this time cause he damn sure wasnt the only faggot in school.

(and it was really getting under trent's skin because he was practically hatecrimed out of his last relationship)

they weren't technically boyfriends at that point due to kirby's insistence. but it felt like a breakup all the same.

they got back together at the jock's christmas party though. something something 7 minutes in heaven i dont know and i dont want to particularly put much thought into that.

point being shit was messy for a hot minute but trent showed kirby things about himself he could Not ignore.

so he wanted to try again with him. and this time he chilled out on practically Hating the guy he was macking on.

trent also cooled it with how, well, Bold he could be. actually made an effort to not embarrass kirby in public and whatnot.

things had to be lowkey in order to not be harassed of course.

but trent's mere presence was enough to turn kirby's ears pink sometimes.

in the bleachers, across the cafeteria, walking down the street, etc.

and god help him when they're paired up in class.

kirby loved the rush all the same though. and trent just found him fuckin incredible if i'm frank.

trent spoke highly of him to his friends, and sometimes just outright dragged them to see kirby on the field or in the arcade absolutely killing it on DDR.

they were much more forward in private of course, even if kirby was incredibly slow to open up about most of his interests and genuine self.

trent helped with that from the start; showing him how to be authentic and happy with himself.

same as all actors allow others to Reflect on their performances.

and over time kirby started to see through trent's own act.

grounded him, tried keeping him sober, etc.

if he had to keep it real and face his own reality, well, so did trent.

and honestly kirby wasnt a fan of the concept of getting shitfaced in general. didnt smoke, seldom drank, didnt huff anything.

that being said trent and him Did bake some edibles once or twice.

split one, went to the movies again, trent got shushed by old people several times because he wouldnt stop rambling.

now That was a fun time.

experimenting with formatting, hope this isnt Awful to read thru lol. also fun fact i hate spotify but i hate youtube links more.

[hc masterpost]

[be4chywritez]

Please, can you do a part 2 of the winner takes it all of nico hischier something about her going to the stadium series or him talking about her to the press like really proving the couple goals to everyone.

Pd i love your writing🥰

thank you lovey🤍

supportive boyfriend | nico hischier

nico hischier x driver!reader

beachy’s masterlist

part l

beachy’s notes: THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD so if you see two of the same paragraphs no you didn’t ( i popped in an edible)

Nico adjusts his hair from his face, still damp from the quick post-game shower he took. Reporters surround him, and he really doesn’t want to be cooped up in a stall answering these questions.

Less than 24 hours ago, he watched you win the world championship, and now he’s here, but his mind keeps wandering back to you. He loves how you would go to the ends of the earth just to support him. You’re so selfless; most world champions would party all night, but not you. You got on a flight to come support him, even though it was a tough loss. He knew you would tell him how good he played.

A PR officer gives him a nod, queuing him to start answering questions. He responds to what feels like the same question in different formats, giving fake chuckles to the jokes that some of the reporters make. But then someone asks about you, and anyone with a brain could tell how much he loves you.

“Nico, we didn’t see you arrive with the team. Why is that?”

He straightens up, an involuntary smile making its way to his face. “Um, my partner is a Formula One racer, and I went to see her win the championship.” He doesn’t want to sound braggy, but who wouldn’t? His girlfriend is a world champion.

Another reporter asks, “How does that dynamic work? You both travel quite a bit.”

Nico’s smile widens, and his eyes light up. “It’s definitely challenging, but we make it work because we understand and support each other’s dreams. We both know what it’s like to be passionate about our careers, and we make sure to be there for each other, no matter what. Like yesterday, I was in the stands cheering her on, and today, she’s here supporting me. It’s all about finding balance and making time for what really matters.”

The reporters seem genuinely interested, leaning in as Nico continues. “We’re each other’s biggest fans. After a tough game or a challenging race, we always find a way to lift each other up. It’s not always easy, but having someone who truly understands and supports you makes all the difference.”

A reporter at the back chimes in, “Do you think having such a high-profile relationship adds pressure?”

Nico shakes his head slightly. “Not really. If anything, it gives us more strength. We’re both very focused and driven, and having someone who knows what that’s like is incredible. We don’t see it as pressure; we see it as motivation. And at the end of the day, we’re just two people who love each other and want to see each other succeed.”

The PR officer wraps up the session, and as Nico makes his way out.

As he walked out, he spotted you immediately, standing outside the locker room with a warm, encouraging smile on your face.

You were bundled up in your Mercedes-AMG Petronas jacket, a stark contrast to the casual clothes he had changed into. Your eyes lit up when you saw him, and you quickly closed the distance between you.

“Nico!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms around him. He hugged you tightly, finding warmth in your embrace despite the disappointment of the game.

“You made it,” he said, holding you close. “Thank you for coming all this way.”

You shrugged, your smile never fading. “Of course, I did. I wanted to be here to support you, win or lose.”

He nodded, grateful for your unwavering support. “Let’s get out of here,” he suggested gently. “I could use some time with you.”

You nodded in agreement, intertwining your fingers with his as you walked together through the hallway and out to the parking lot. The drive back to your shared apartment was filled with a comfortable silence, hanging between you.

When you arrived home, Nico unlocked the door and held it open for you with a small smile. The apartment was quiet and welcoming, a stark difference from the noise and pressure of the game. You kicked off your shoes by the door, feeling the tension begin to melt away.

Nico moved to the kitchen, pulling out ingredients for a simple dinner. “How about we make some pasta?” he suggested, turning to you with a hopeful look.

You chuckled softly. “Sounds perfect.”

-

After dinner, you cleaned up together, it was in these quiet moments that your bond felt strongest, the shared routines and unspoken gestures speaking volumes.

Nico washed the dishes while you dried, stealing glances and exchanging small smiles. When the last plate was put away, you turned to him with a soft smile.

“Thank you for dinner,” you said sincerely, reaching out to touch his arm.

He nodded, his eyes meeting yours. “Thank you for being here. It means more than you know.”

You leaned into him, resting your head against his shoulder. “We’ll get through this,” you murmured, your voice filled with assurance.

Nico wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. “Together,” he agreed softly. “Always.”

-

The rest of the evening passed in comfortable companionship, watching a movie together on the couch and enjoying each other’s company. As the night grew late, you found yourselves curled up under a blanket, the quiet of the apartment soothing and familiar.

“You know,” Nico said suddenly, breaking the silence. “Even on the toughest days, having you here makes everything better.”

You smiled, brushing a strand of hair from his face. “I feel the same way. We’re in this together, no matter what.”

He nodded, his gaze softening. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I love you too,” you replied, your heart swelling with warmth.

Nico leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. His lips trailed down to yours, capturing them in a deep, passionate kiss.

The kiss deepened, Nico's hands roamed your back, pulling you closer, his touch igniting a fuzzy feeling in your lower stomach.

When you finally pulled away, breathless and flushed, Nico's eyes held a hunger that mirrored your own. He gazed at you with adoration, his hand caressing your cheek.

"You drive me crazy," he murmured, his voice husky with desire.

You chuckled softly, your heart pounding. "You're not so bad yourself."

Nico kissed you again, softer this time, a silent promise of love and devotion. You melted into his arms, the world outside fading away as you lost yourselves in each other.

[awkward-walking-potato]

Hello! I'd like to request sfw/nsfw alphabet for Wade Wilson please! Your fics are really good

SFW Alphabet:

A - Affection:

Wade is incredibly affectionate, but in his own strange way. Expect playful teasing, exaggerated gestures, and over-the-top compliments. He’ll never shy away from showing you love, even in public.

B - Best Friend:

You’re his partner-in-crime—literally. Wade loves having a sidekick or someone to bounce his crazy ideas off of. He’s loyal to the core and would do anything to keep you safe, even if it means annoying you half to death.

C - Cuddles:

Wade loves cuddles, but they might turn into playful wrestling matches or tickle fights. He’s all about physical closeness, especially when it makes him feel grounded and loved.

D - Domestic:

Wade in a domestic setting is chaotic but sweet. He’ll cook (though it might not be edible), attempt to clean (probably leaving more of a mess), and randomly serenade you with ridiculous songs while doing chores.

E - Excitement:

Everything with Wade is an adventure. He thrives on excitement and unpredictability, so being with him means you’ll never be bored. Expect surprise dates, random road trips, and unexpected (and often dangerous) escapades.

F - Flirting:

Wade’s flirting is constant, outrageous, and hilarious. He’ll make inappropriate jokes, use cheesy pickup lines, and always try to get you to laugh, all while genuinely admiring you.

G - Gifts:

He’s the kind of guy who gives you odd but meaningful gifts—think a grenade shaped like a heart or a plushie of his favorite X-Men. Wade’s gifts are usually a combination of thoughtful and utterly bizarre.

H - Hugs:

Hugging Wade is like getting tackled by a hyperactive puppy. He’s warm, a little overwhelming, and never lets go until you’re both out of breath from laughing.

I - Intimacy (Emotional):

While Wade puts up a tough, joking front, he’s deeply emotional underneath. He craves genuine connection and trusts you with his vulnerabilities, even if he hides them behind humor most of the time.

J - Jealousy:

Wade is surprisingly possessive when it comes to people he loves. His jealousy manifests in dramatic, humorous ways—he’ll start over-the-top rivalries with anyone he perceives as competition, but it’s all in good fun.

K - Kisses:

Kissing Wade is always an experience. He’s spontaneous, and his kisses can range from soft and sweet to passionate and wild. Sometimes he’ll sneak kisses mid-battle just because he can.

L - Lazy Days:

On lazy days, Wade loves binge-watching trashy TV shows, stuffing his face with snacks, and lying on the couch in a cuddle pile with you. It’s the rare quiet time that he cherishes more than he’d admit.

M - Mornings:

Wade is not a morning person. He’ll grumble, pull you back into bed, and try to convince you to stay in bed with him for "just five more minutes"—which, in Wade time, could mean hours.

N - Nicknames:

He’ll come up with the most ridiculous and creative nicknames for you, often changing them daily. They’re always endearing, if not a little embarrassing in public.

O - Open:

Wade is an open book, often oversharing or giving you way more information than necessary. He has no filter, but it’s part of his charm. He doesn’t hide anything from you—emotionally or otherwise.

P - Protective:

Wade is fiercely protective of you, often to the point of going overboard. He’d take a bullet, sword, or bomb for you without a second thought, and he’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, even if he’s a little reckless about it.

Q - Quirks:

Everything about Wade is quirky. He talks to himself (and sometimes the audience), breaks the fourth wall constantly, and finds humor in the darkest situations. Being with him means embracing the chaos.

R - Romantic:

Wade is a hopeless romantic, though his idea of romance might include explosions or elaborate stunts. He genuinely tries to sweep you off your feet, even if his methods are unconventional.

S - Supportive:

He’s your biggest cheerleader, always encouraging you to follow your dreams and be the best version of yourself. Wade might joke around, but when it comes to your happiness, he’s completely sincere.

T - Trust:

Once you’ve earned Wade’s trust, he’s loyal to a fault. He doesn’t trust easily due to his past, but once he lets you in, he’s all in, trusting you with his life (and heart).

U - Understanding:

Despite his chaotic nature, Wade is surprisingly understanding and empathetic. He’s been through a lot, so he’s patient and supportive when it comes to your own struggles.

V - Vulnerable:

Wade hides his vulnerabilities with humor, but when he’s feeling particularly down, he’ll turn to you for comfort. In those rare moments, he’ll let his guard down completely and let you see the softer side of him.

W - Wild:

Wade is wild in every sense of the word. He’s unpredictable, daring, and always full of energy. Being with him means embracing the wild ride that comes with his lifestyle.

X - X-Factor:

Wade’s X-factor is his resilience. No matter how many times life knocks him down, he gets back up, and he always does it with a smile. His ability to keep going, no matter what, is one of the things that makes him truly remarkable.

Y - Yearning:

Wade is the kind of guy who craves love and connection, even if he acts like he’s fine on his own. Deep down, he’s always yearning for that special someone who truly understands him.

Z - Zany:

Everything Wade does is zany, off-the-wall, and unpredictable. You never know what he’ll say or do next, but that’s part of the fun of being with him.

NSFW Alphabet:

A - Aftercare:

Despite his usual chaotic demeanor, Wade is surprisingly sweet after sex. He’ll make sure you’re comfortable, might crack a joke to lighten the mood, and will offer cuddles or snacks if you’re up for it.

B - Body Part:

Wade loves everything about your body, but he’s particularly drawn to your butt. Expect cheeky (literally) comments and playful grabs whenever he’s nearby.

C - Cum:

Wade is pretty open about everything, including this. He finds it hilarious to make jokes about it during the moment, but he’s also surprisingly considerate about cleanup.

D - Dirty Talk:

Wade is all about dirty talk—expect a constant stream of filthy, outrageous, and sometimes downright hilarious comments during sex. He’s got no filter, and he’ll say whatever comes to his mind.

E - Experience:

Wade has been around and has definitely picked up some tricks along the way. He’s confident and adventurous in bed, always willing to try something new to keep things interesting.

F - Favorite Position:

He doesn’t have a favorite because he loves switching it up constantly. Whether it’s something classic or a more creative position, Wade’s all about variety and fun.

G - Goofy:

Sex with Wade is never boring—it’s always filled with laughter, jokes, and playful teasing. He doesn’t take anything too seriously, which makes everything feel relaxed and fun.

H - Hair:

Wade isn’t particular about body hair—he’s seen it all and doesn’t care much about appearances. He might joke about it, but he’s really into whatever makes you feel comfortable.

I - Intimacy (Physical):

Even though Wade’s usually joking around, he’s surprisingly attentive in bed. He’ll make sure you’re enjoying yourself and will do whatever it takes to please you, though he’ll do it with a playful twist.

J - Jack Off:

Wade is open about his masturbation habits and will probably make jokes about it at the most inappropriate times. He’s also not shy about letting you watch if you’re into that.

K - Kink:

Wade is open to just about anything and loves trying new things. Whether it’s role-playing, light bondage, or something a bit more extreme, he’s always down to experiment and see what works for both of you.

L - Location:

Anywhere and everywhere is fair game with Wade. He loves the thrill of spontaneous encounters, whether it’s in a bedroom, an alley, or somewhere completely unexpected.

M - Motivation:

Wade’s always ready to go, but what really gets him in the mood is seeing you happy and confident. He’s turned on by your excitement and loves knowing that he can make you feel good.

N - No:

While Wade’s open to almost anything, he’s respectful of boundaries. He’ll never push you to do something you’re uncomfortable with and is surprisingly understanding about your limits.

O - Oral:

Wade is a fan of giving and receiving oral, and he’s very enthusiastic about it. He loves the reactions he gets from you and will often tease or prolong the moment just to drive you wild.

P - Pace:

Wade’s pace is usually fast and playful, but he can slow down if the moment calls for it. He’s adaptable

Q - Quickies:

Wade loves quickies. The thrill of sneaking in a spontaneous moment of passion, especially in unexpected places, excites him. Whether it's before a mission or during a mundane task, he’s always up for some fast-paced fun.

R - Risk:

Wade is all about taking risks and loves the idea of getting caught (or not caring if you do). He’s adventurous and doesn’t shy away from more dangerous or thrilling locations for your escapades. That said, he’s still mindful of your boundaries and ensures you’re on board with any risky play.

S - Stamina:

Thanks to his healing factor, Wade has insane stamina. He can go for hours, multiple rounds, and still be ready for more. He’ll make it a point to match your energy, keeping things exciting and varied so neither of you ever gets bored.

T - Toys:

Wade is a big fan of incorporating toys into the mix. He loves experimenting with all sorts of gadgets and devices, and he’s not afraid to raid an adult store with you. Whether it’s vibrating toys, restraints, or something more exotic, he’s always eager to add a little extra spice to the fun.

U - Unusual:

Sex with Wade is rarely traditional. He’s into trying new, unusual things and finds excitement in the unexpected. Whether it’s an unconventional position, a strange location, or some absurd roleplay scenario, Wade thrives on making things weird (in the best way possible).

V - Volume:

Wade is loud during sex. He’s constantly cracking jokes, making exaggerated noises, or offering running commentary about what’s happening. He’s vocal in every sense—whether he’s giving praise, making dirty jokes, or just making you laugh, expect a lot of noise.

W - Wild:

Wade’s sexual appetite and style are wild, untamed, and always unpredictable. He’s game for almost anything and loves pushing the boundaries of what you’d expect in bed. His wild side keeps things exciting, making every experience feel new and exhilarating.

X - X-Ray:

Wade is completely open about his body, even with his scars and imperfections. He makes light of his appearance but always reassures you with humor and confidence that what matters is how he feels about you. He’s also obsessed with how much you enjoy his body and won’t hesitate to ask (or joke about) what parts of him you like best.

Y - Yearning:

Wade is deeply passionate and craves closeness. Beneath all his jokes, there’s an intense need for affection and physical connection. He’s always eager to be near you, whether it’s through playful teasing, affectionate touches, or full-on passion, and his yearning comes through in every intimate moment.

Z - Zzz:

After all the excitement, Wade is more likely to pass out from exhaustion than drift off peacefully. He’s always full of energy, so when he finally crashes, it’s sudden. You might find him snoring almost immediately after, tangled up with you in the aftermath of all the fun

[howlsofbloodhounds]

You know, I was thinking about ways Nightmare's henchmen could be taught to relax after they've been rescued (after all, none of them knows how to live without a mission, a directive, a grand purpose, or at least constant conflict, they need to learn) and my brain got stuck on the image of the Epic Sanses bringing these four murderers out mushroom picking.

Like, that would genuinely be a good first option, you gotta take it slow because, for anyone who's never been, mushrooms are LITTLE SHITS that hide from you. It also helps to learn to appreciate the little things, even those that don't have a use for you (it's just as fun trying to identify inedible mushrooms as it is the edible ones. Sometimes even more so because there are some truly cool poisonous little guys). And it won't feel entirely pointless because they're gonna have something to show all their hard work at the end of the day.

Also brought to you by the fact that there is a category of mushrooms (I know they're called Russole in Italian, dunno the name in English) which are all edible, but some of them are incredibly spicy (some people do still like them and use them in the place of chili pepper, but they're not generally pleasant to eat by themselves). And to distinguish between the basic one and the normal one, the only way is to try a little bit of the flesh of the mushroom.

And I'm thinking about Killer having grown so accustomed to pain that he tries one of the really spicy ones and is like "all good, it's normal". Delta tries it after him just to double check and immediately dies. He's convinced that Killer was trying to kill him with that. And he wasn't, but Killer lets him think that because it's funnier

This audio is basically how i picture every interaction between Delta and Stage 2 🙏. The widening pleased smile and all.

And i definitely think the idea of mushroom picking was probably Color’s idea—the old man yearns for nature and dirt lmao.

And Killer definitely would allow Delta to think he was trying to kill him or hurt him because the sadistic freak finds Delta’s pain and frustration and distrust amusing.

If they’re still at the height of their enemies arc he may even play around with the idea of letting Delta think he put some of those mushrooms in his food. (Did he really? Who knows.) but very conveniently Color’s meal didn’t have any.

And also for some reason, I just pictured Dust and Horror picking up a little basket of mushrooms and finding a convenient quite place to nap while Cross took this new mission assignment very very seriously and is now carrying multiple baskets.

{ @stellocchia }

[brainddeadd]

Morning Glow

this was originally for jack so if you see jack's name, no you didnt

The night had been filled with laughter, late-night snacks, and a few rounds of Mario Kart. The two of you had been enjoying a weekend getaway with friends, but when everyone else had decided to crash on the couch, you and Trevor were left to share the only spare bed in the cozy cabin.

Trevor had thought it would be an easy situation—just two friends sleeping in the same bed. But as he lay there, staring up at the ceiling, he couldn’t help but feel the warmth of your presence beside him. The mattress creaked softly every time you shifted, the blankets rustling as you got comfortable.

At some point during the night, sleep took him, pulling him into a world where nothing mattered but the deep, peaceful slumber that enveloped him. It was in this dreamland that Trevor found himself unwittingly inching closer to you, until your faces were merely inches apart.

When he finally woke up, sunlight streamed through the window, illuminating your features and making them glow. You lay there, completely peaceful, your hair spilling over the pillow like a waterfall of soft curls. Trevor couldn’t comprehend how someone could look so beautiful while sleeping. His heart raced at the thought; it felt like an incredible privilege to see you like this.

Trevor's breath hitched as he studied your face, memorizing every detail—the way your lashes rested against your cheeks, the gentle rise and fall of your chest, and the hint of a smile playing on your lips as if you were dreaming of something sweet.

But then, just as he leaned in a little closer, the world came crashing back when you stirred, blinking awake and catching him in the act.

“Trev?” you murmured, voice still thick with sleep.

His eyes widened in shock, a jolt of panic surging through him as he scrambled to sit up, heart pounding in his chest. “I—uh, I wasn’t staring! I mean, not in a creepy way!”

You couldn’t help but giggle at his flustered expression, the way his cheeks turned a shade of red that was almost comical. “What were you doing then?” you teased, trying to mask the sleepiness in your voice with playful curiosity.

“Just… admiring the view?” Trevor stammered, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. His eyes darted away, refusing to meet yours as embarrassment flooded his system. “Uh, you look really pretty when you sleep, you know? I didn’t mean to stare.”

You raised an eyebrow, a smile creeping onto your lips as you rolled onto your side to face him. “You think I’m pretty?”

“Of course!” he blurted, suddenly more animated, his hands flying up in defense as if trying to protect himself from your gaze. “I mean, look at you! You could—uh, you could probably model or something!”

Your laughter filled the room, brightening the atmosphere as Trevor finally met your eyes, the initial shock fading. The air felt charged with an undeniable energy, and the morning light seemed to capture this fleeting moment perfectly.

“Thanks, Trev,” you said softly, your smile genuine. “I think you’re pretty handsome yourself.”

Trevor felt his heart race again, and this time it wasn’t just embarrassment. The two of you lingered in that moment, smiles shared and hearts racing, as the reality of your closeness settled in.

Maybe sharing a bed wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

Trevor could hardly believe you just called him handsome. The flattery swirled around in his mind like confetti, brightening his mood. But as he watched you smile, something else flickered within him—a mix of warmth and something deeper, an undeniable connection that made his heart pound harder.

“Do you, uh, want breakfast?” he offered, suddenly anxious to break the tension. “I mean, I can make pancakes or something. They’re not as good as what my mom makes, but they’re edible.”

You laughed again, a sound that sent butterflies flitting around in his stomach. “Pancakes sound great. I’ll even help,” you replied, sitting up fully now, the sheets slipping down your shoulders. Trevor's gaze momentarily lingered before he forced himself to look away.

“Okay, cool!” he said, a little too enthusiastically, scrambling out of bed. He quickly headed toward the kitchen, desperate to put some space between you and him to regain his composure. As he walked, he tried to shake off the butterflies and the lingering warmth of your presence.

In the kitchen, he rummaged through cabinets, gathering ingredients as the morning sunlight danced through the windows. He could hear you moving around behind him, and his heart raced as he felt your presence—your laughter, the light footsteps that followed him.

“You really didn’t have to get up so fast,” you teased, stepping into the kitchen. “I wasn’t going to bite you or anything.”

“Yeah, but you caught me staring like a total creep,” he admitted, grinning sheepishly as he mixed the batter. “I panicked!”

“Panicked? That’s cute,” you said, leaning against the counter. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you panic before.”

Trevor shot you a playful glare, stirring the batter with more force than necessary. “You know, I’m usually pretty composed.”

“Right, right. Mr. Composure, the hockey star who can handle anything on the ice,” you said, rolling your eyes dramatically. “But when it comes to a pretty girl, you’re a total mess.”

His cheeks flushed, and he glanced at you, momentarily meeting your gaze. “Okay, maybe you’ve got a point there,” he conceded, a smile creeping onto his face. “But can you blame me? You woke up and caught me in a moment of weakness!”

You chuckled, and Trevor felt a surge of confidence. “Let’s see how good your pancake-making skills are, Mr. Composure,” you challenged, stepping closer to him. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

The two of you worked side by side, chatting and joking as Trevor flipped pancakes, trying not to let his nerves get the best of him. You reached over to steal a piece of batter off the edge of the bowl, and he swatted your hand playfully.

“Hey! No cheating!” he said, laughter lacing his voice.

“Come on, it’s a taste test!” you insisted, sticking out your bottom lip in a mock pout.

Trevor couldn’t resist. He leaned closer, wiping a smear of batter off your cheek with his thumb. “Just a little bit messy, aren’t you?” he teased, his voice softer now, the air around you thickening with unspoken words. Bringing his thumb up to his lips, he licked the batter away.

You blinked at him, your breath hitching at the sudden intimacy. The moment hung between you, charged and electric, but just as quickly as it came, it slipped away as the pancakes began to sizzle in the pan.

“Right, the pancakes,” Trevor said, breaking the tension and turning back to the stove, his heart racing.

You watched him for a moment, a warm smile on your lips, and then moved to set the table. The easy banter continued, but beneath the surface, something was shifting.

After breakfast, the two of you lounged on the couch, full and content, the morning sun bathing the room in a golden glow. Trevor felt a sense of peace settle in as he leaned back, stealing glances at you as you scrolled through your phone, occasionally giggling at something you saw.

“Want to play a game?” you suggested, looking over at him, eyes sparkling.

“Sure, but I’ll warn you, I’m pretty competitive,” he said, leaning in closer, a teasing grin on his face.

“Bring it on, Zegras,” you challenged, determination gleaming in your eyes.

As you began to play, laughter filled the room, but every time your shoulders brushed or your eyes met, it felt like there was a shared secret lingering just beneath the surface. The more you played, the more you both realized that the connection was growing deeper, not just between friends, but potentially something more.

Hours passed, and the sun began to dip lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the cabin. Trevor felt the moment shifting, the playful energy evolving into something rich and uncharted.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” he said suddenly, his tone shifting.

“Of course,” you replied, your expression turning serious.

Trevor hesitated, biting his lip as he searched for the right words. “Do you think…do you think this weekend is just a fun getaway, or do you see it as something more?”

Your eyes widened slightly, and the air became thick with anticipation. “I’ve been thinking about that too,” you admitted softly, looking down at your hands. “I mean, I really enjoy being with you, Trev. It’s easy and fun, but…”

“But?” he pressed gently.

“But I don’t want to ruin our friendship if it doesn’t work out,” you admitted, meeting his gaze again, vulnerability dancing in your eyes.

Trevor's heart raced. “I get it. But I can’t help feeling there’s something special between us. Something worth exploring,” he said, taking a breath to steady himself. “We could take things slow. See where it goes?”

You smiled, relief washing over you. “I’d like that.”

With that unspoken agreement hanging in the air, the tension shifted once more, transforming into something full of hope and possibility.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky with hues of orange and pink, Trevor leaned back, feeling a mix of excitement and contentment. No matter what happened next, he knew he wanted to be by your side.

[bunni-v1]

GOD!!! that smoking with lighter post… WOW!!!!! sorry need to run back into my cave with that………

i think… getting stoned with lighter? would that be fun? i could see him lighting a joint in your mouth with a zippo for sure 😋

Tw: Drug use; Bunni’s questionable choices freshman year

LMAO thanks mini ily 😭 I used to be the BIGGEST stoner my freshman year of college. I’m like 90% sure I went on a month long bender before finals where I was high 24/7, but it’s so blurry that I can’t remember how true that is. (My friends say that’s what happened so 💀)

I haven’t been high in likeeeee two ish years (yay sobriety)… but I miss it lowkey. Too bad I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend lol. And, well, my heart couldn’t handle it anymore. Anyway. Excuse any inaccuracies lol.

Unfortunately I’m pretty sure Lighter is kinda drug adverse? Idk, he at least doesn’t fuck hard with liquor which leads me to believe he’s not into smoking either but again where’s the fun in that lol.

I have a headcannon that he’s a lightweight no matter what he’s drinking/smoking, so it takes maybe two hits and he’s gone. (Depending on how strong the stuff is ig, but I only ever had crazy strong stuff so I am not a good judge here 💀) He’s the giggly kind too, everything is funny and he’s so smiley. Even things that aren’t funny, he’s smiling and giggling about like a moron.

He’s also incredibly affectionate with everyone, especially his partner. Leaning all over them, cooing at them, pressing kisses to their face. His obsession with them really comes out when he’s high. It’s adorable honestly, even though he always regrets it the day after.

He’s the kinda guy to also sit and stare for like hours and not realize time has passed. He’s just thinking bro, about what? I don’t think he even knows, but he’s doing it. The thoughts are happening.

Also, idk if this is typical for anyone but me but he has a comfort food he eats exclusively when high. It’s this disgustingly sugary cake that’s all chocolate and nothing else and would make the average person vomit. He almost always gets sick the day after cause that shit is genuinely so nasty, but when he’s gone it’s all he wants. (For me it was chocolate milk, and since I’m lactose intolerant it would fucking kill me in the morning.)

Oh my god, and my friends use to do this NASTY ASS thing (it’s kinda hot but like they were gross with it 💀), where one of them would take a nice long hit and then breath the smoke into their partners mouth. The partner would breathe in as much as they could and then they’d pretty much tongue fuck each other. That just screams Lighter to me idk.

He sucks are rolling joint and I think he’d prefer edibles if he had a choice. If not he’d rather smoke from a bowl unless someone else is rolling the joint for him. His hands are too big for that delicate kinda work. Cutie that he is.

Anyway, I think high Lighter is just a treat. Super out of character from his usual demeanor and I know he’s so fun to tease and mess with.

[tunakitchen]

most wretched and vile taste experiences ranked:

5.) fake banana flavor, in all forms. not awful, but it never fails to give me headaches, so i don't like it very much.

4.) zero sugar gold peak tea. everything labeled zero sugar gives me headaches, but never have i gotten one this long. and it gave me a stomach ache too. AND it didn't even taste good enough to make up for it. it tasted like tea flavored soda that had gone flat. and not in any good way. no matter how chilled it was, it tasted lukewarm by the power of its mediocrity alone

3.) unripened cactus pear. i didn't expect this one to be so bad because its just a fruit. well it was a very unripe fruit and it was very bad. every time i took a bite it felt like i was eating something poisonous, but it was very much edible! and i did eat it. unfortunately. it took me back to my memories of eating blades of grass in elementary school, except there was no childhood whimsy. just grass. like eating flower stems, and not delicious smelling ones. ripe cactus pear is good though.

2.) canned boba drinks. mmm i just really love the way the chalky boba crumbles into the mediocre tea. its incredible how the sensation of sipping the so-called "boba" out of the can immerses me into the mental space of a whale who is sucking bits of plastic through their baleen

1.) kraft mac n cheese deluxe white cheddar. not to be confused with the delicious, normal, orange kraft mac n cheese. the cheese flavoring in this is straight up the nastiest shit i have ever had in my life. tasted like it aged in a fungus filled shoe. it haunted me for a week. i was genuinely having stress dreams about eating this.

[totallyboatless]

It is time, friends, for another Pip's Weed Essay game. The rules: I'm about to take an edible and start writing a mini-essay in one sitting. I edit a tiny bit as I go, but for the most part this is on the fly. I've thought about this topic a lot, but haven't outlined it. I'll let you know when the edible hits, but there's a chance you'll realize it before I do. (PIRATE FRIENDS STICK AROUND - this is Pip from the future, I get pretty high in this, but anyway I'm here to tell you that this goes in a very unintended OFMD direction that i'm still reeling from. Anyway back to Past Pip)

Edible ingestion commencing, time: 7:37pm Mountain Time

I polled my followers for the topic, so today we're going to talk about:

Fixing the Puck Problem

I've read and seen A Midsummer Night's Dream more than any other Shakespeare play. At this point I don't know if I've seen it so much because it's my favorite, or enough opportunities for me to see it have lined up that it's become my favorite by default. It's easily the Shakespeare play I know best. I haven't seen a staging that I fully disliked, but there are two elements of this show that I feel like are rarely handled the way I want them to be.

Problem one:

Puck will never be as funny as Bottom

It's common to consider Puck to be the main character of A Midsummer Night's Dream. He's at the very least the most famous character in the play. Puck is a dream role, and obviously with his being a fairy, he's usually directed to be weird and whimsical--and a lot of the time, playing for laughs. It makes sense, he's a trickster, it's built into his nature.

But in modern day, his lines and actions don't translate as well as Bottom's. In all of the times that I've seen A Midsummer Night's Dream, I've *never* seen a production where Bottom fails to steal the entire show away from Puck. I've had multiple experiences where I could feel the director wanting me to laugh at Puck; I could see the reasons for the direction, but it just wouldn't hit. In those same productions, I've laughed so hard at the Bottom scenes that I cried.

I'm thinking particularly of the 2010 production with Judy Dench reprising Titania (honestly still in shock over seeing that lolol) and the 2019 Bridge Theatre production (which you can find streaming, it's *incredible*).

In the 2010 show, the Puck actor kept doing what honestly felt like a Woody the Woodpecker impression lol. He would pause for laughs and they just...wouldn't happen. Meanwhile, Bottom was set up with the kind of success that let him steal at least one scene from fucking Judy Dench.

In the 2019 Bridge Theatre production, I genuinely like the direction they gave Puck--he's a weird little twitchy Irish punk doing fucking aerial silk shit. But even with a unique vibe and a fun performance, it's still not enough to outshine Bottom.

Basically my thing is that I want to get to the end of A Midsummer Night's Dream and feel more connected to Puck. I *want* him to be my favorite. And there's just absolutely no way to make him my favorite if his core purpose is to be funny. Puck is supposed to be a larger-than-life being--the audience is never going to buy that when he's not even the largest character on the stage.

The second problem is smaller, and in fixing it there's also a fun chance to fix the Puck problem:

Problem two:

The audience usually doesn't understand why Titania and Oberon are fighting.

If you've gotten this far you're probably already a nerd who knows this, but gonna pose the question like I've done for other people I've seen the show with: Why are Titania and Oberon fighting? What's the core reason?

Bc you're a fucking nerd you probably yelled CHANGELING! Which yes, good for you, if I had become the Shakespeare professor I wanted to be but didn't have the money to become, you would be in my class and I would throw a snickers at you for a reward.

But the thing is, a *lot* of people who only know the play casually don't know. And most productions don't assist them in knowing.

Elaboration for non-nerds: Titania had a "and they were roommates" totally not at all lesbian relationship with a human women who was pregnant. The women dies in childbirth and Titania takes the child to raise, and she cherishes him more than anything, which is an extremely straight thing to do. In the play, the character is only referred to as the changeling. Oberon gets super jealous of this kid and wants to steal him away and make him join the Wild Hunt so that he can have Titania's full attention back, because he's got that issue creepy men get when they have kids and then are like "I'm jealous of my son because he's making it less likely for me to fuck my wife" and it's like "dude calm down with this projection of an Oedipal complex."

If you're not a coward and read Titania as in love with the changeling's mom, then Oberon's issues are maybe slightly less creepy, but like not really

So that's it really. Titania loves this kid of her sapphic lover that died. Oberon is jealous about it. He decides to play a trick on Titania both as a way to get revenge, and also as a distraction so he can steal the kid.

But the issue is that 1.) all of this is communicated in a long and kind of boring speech, and 2.) the changeling literally never has a line and also no stage directions

The 2010 production had a hot dude chained up and writhing on stage in a kind of hot dance snake movement thing when Titania talks about him, but most productions never even have an actor cast as the changeling. I was really shocked they didn't have anyone for the 2019 production, given how much I love most of the rest of their choices.

OKAY SO. We now have the two problems: Puck isn't the fan favorite even though he should be; and most people in the audience have no fucking idea about the changeling.

(THIS IS HIGH PIP FROM THE FUTURE I FORGOT SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO THIS PROBLEM: If you do know about the changeling/follow along with that plot, it's *very* hard to root for Titania and Oberon when they reconcile. Which can be fun and cool and a little hot even maybe if you're going all dark, but thIS IS A PLAY ABOUT HORNY FAERIES HAVING A GOOD TIME so I won't be having that. I want this play to make me like that Titania forgives Oberon so easily. Okay Past Pip, take it away)

lol okay yeah weed friend has landed, I just wandered away for a minute with a desperate need to put taquitos in the air fryer. Time stamp: 8:16.

OKAY FOR REAL NOW LET'S GET INTO:

Pip's Most Ideal Staging of A Midsummer Night's Dream Which Fixes the Problems in Theory

The Staging:

First off I want the production to be in the middle of the literal woods where there's pretty lights in all the trees and people are sitting on blankets and have snacks and drinks and drugs and whatever they want, and the whole staging has the actors weaving through the audience. Not just theatre in the round, full immersion

I also want people to not fully know where the production is, just that it's on the outskirts of the forest, and then the actors emerge from the woods at a designated time and bring the audience to the secret stage section. And ideally this would be like a park on the outskirts of woods so that there would also be people there who wouldn't know what the fuck was going on. And ideally some of the fairy actors convince them to come along and the people go having no idea what they're about to get into. That's how A Midsummer Night's Dream is meant to be experienced in its purest form: with actors dressed as fairies trying to seduce unsuspecting strangers to follow them into the woods to an unknown location where they'll probably be offered drugs.

TAQUITO TIME

Taquitos acquired.

Puck's direction and motivation:

When Puck is first introduced, it's by a fairy called Peasblossom who's otherwise not a big part. Peasblossom lets the audience know who Puck/Robin Goodfellow is by basically going stan-mode and being like "holy shit you're famous." PB literally starts listing his greatest hits.

So picture with me: instead of an extremely fairy-like whimsical Puck, I want a Puck that wanders on-stage like a burnt-out rockstar. Cigarette in one hand, beer in another. Probably on a cocktail for faerie super magic mushrooms. Just fully numbed out. In this moment, Puck feels way more human than faerie--and I want the performance to be in a way where that feels off. To have it be communicated in manner and clothing, and the juxtaposition of PB recounting Puck's glory days, that Puck hasn't always been like this. This isn't a faerie trickster in his prime. This is a man who's lost all sense of fun and is going through the motions.

That's what happens, right, when you become just a little too famous?

Puck is the only one of the main characters who gets to the end of the show and is entirely alone.

(my favorite thing about being high is how *good* it makes food taste, these taquitos are not fancy but with the power of the devil's lettuce it's so good--oh my god I have Dr. Pepper)

(I'm back with the Dr. Pepper. I'm having fun, are you guys having fun? If you've made it this far i kiss u)

So Puck is alone at the end of the play while everyone else of import is either with their lover or with their theatre-kid-found-family. And it's largely because Puck lives between worlds. He's not powerful enough to be fey royalty; he's Oberon's right-hand man, but he's not Oberon's peer. But the lower fey court are also not his peers -- they treat him like a celebrity, he can't actually connect with them. He's not allowed to frolic and play with them anymore, not really.

With this interpretation and direction, we now have a Puck whose action in the plot can lead to a happy ending (keep with me), and whose existence isn't just to be quirky and whimsical for the audience. Instead it's a Puck with a motivation: he's lost all joy in his job, he's disconnected from him community, and Oberon only treats him like a fuckbuddy so he's sexually frustrated. (Oh right yeah I was supposed to write about how Puck is in love with Oberon. He is.) That's all fucking sad, bro! And you know from the Pip that traveled into the past that this play is fun and should be fun!

Now for the final part, where we put in the special ingredient to tie this particular Puck direction into the happy ending:

LET'S 👏 GET 👏 GAY 👏

Do you guys (gn) remember the changeling? It was like possibly an hour ago, the time-warp this particular edible always sets me on has fully set in. It's possible this essay is like 5k words long. It's also possible it's only 500 words long. I wish I was lying when I told you I don't know.

Anyway, the changeling. Let's make him a fuller character and let's give him to Puck wrapped up in a sexy, charming bow.

Picture this: The Changeling, from now on capitalized as a character, shown on stage in Titania's court. Locked up like a princess in a tower because Titania is desperate to protect him. And the Changeling is all *sigh and flutter big beautiful princess man eyes* because he wants to explore what's out there. Because he's a man who's grown up and been forced to live between two worlds. He's not fey royalty, he's not Titania's actual kid and she kind of honestly treats him more like a momento of her lesbian lover than an actual adopted kid. He can't be one of the fey court, because he's not fey, and also he's not allowed to frolic and play with them.

That should sound familiar to you if I did it right.

Puck and the Changeling, both feeling the same sort of empty spot. So let's smush them together.

Give the Changeling all of Peasblossom's lines. It makes more sense for a detail I left out before, too--Peasblossom doesn't recognize Puck they see him for the first few lines. Once they do they're all like "omg you're the dude that makes people horny for each other and also some other trickster things." They know all of Puck's stunts, but they don't know what he looks like? It's clearly an exposition device, but it's a weak one (sorry, Shakesy). He's the rockstar of the fey world. You'd have to be living under a rock or, I dunno, locked away like a beautiful man-princess --

(Okay you know where I'm going and I have to stop there because I'm cry laughing, I swear to you -- I swear to fucking god, guys, I wish I was joking -- I thought I was being cute and clever saying "man-princess". Not because of irony. IT'S BECAUSE I FORGOT THERE IS A WORD FOR A PRINCESS WHO IS A MAN AND THAT IS A PRINCE. Okay i should clearly wrap this up lol)

In this staging, the Changeling clearly doesn't want to be locked up. So...he finally finds a way to sneak out. He goes on a romp through the forest and that's when he runs into Puck (this is the scene where we first meet Puck). The Changeling wouldn't recognize Puck, though he's have heard of him. He probably loves stories because what the fuck else does he have to do, so he's asked the fairies to tell him about Puck's adventures over and over. Meanwhile, Puck wouldn't recognize the Changeling because Titania has been keeping him so under lock and key. It allows an opportunity for them to connect on more of a peer basis as they--

Holy fuck. Wait. Hold on. Is the Changeling Stede. Is Puck Ed. What the fuck. Did I write an AU on accident. I don't even like AUs very much (sorry AU writers it's not personal it's just not my thing).n ANYWAY sorry for the pirate aside. God this is properly off the rails now.

They like each other, you get it. And now Puck has someone he wants to impress. There's not a lot of opportunities to give the Changeling more lines, but that doesn't mean he can't appear on stage. He can stay with Puck (hiding from Oberon whenever he's there, leading to some good chances for physical comedy) and go on the nighttime adventure of his dreams.

This leads to a fun, unique choice: having Puck fuck up the love flower juice plan on purpose. So that he can show this hot dude following him around with wide enthusiastic eyes the kind of things he's capable of OH MY GOD THIS IS ED AND STEDE I SWEAR THIS IS NOT ON PURPOSE I AM JUST NOW SEEING THE PARALLEL

Okay we're nearly at the end I promise. We just have one more problem to solve: How are we supposed to root for Titania and Oberon to get together when Oberon literally publicly humiliates her and then steals her adopted son and forces him to join the Wild Hunt even tho Titania REALLY doesn't want him to? Well, the first one is easy, Titania and Oberon are so fucking kinky, and Oberon likes getting cucked (remember he's only jealous of the Changeling, never the lesbian).

The second one is also easy. Make it the Changeling's choice. Leaving Titania and joining Oberon's court means two things: He gets to be with Puck, and joining the Wild Hunt allows him to go on exciting adventures. If Titania saw that the Changeling wanted this with the staging that both Titania and Oberon look over and see Puck and the Changeling making out right after Titania's spell is broken. Then Oberon can jokingly delivers the line about having stolen the Changeling, realizing that the plan worked but in the most ridiculous way possible. And how could Titania not find joy in all of that?

It makes me so much more glad to see them get back together.

Puck's closing soliloquy is his most famous, but I like his last big monologue right before it better. There's a very important line he says that communicates an important shift within the context of his particular staging:

And we fairies, that do run

We.

Puck isn't a lonely, washed-up rockstar anymore. He's part of a "we." Not just the Changeling, but the other fairies, too. Puck and the Changeling act as bridges for each other, to be part of each other's worlds in a way that feels like a whole -- OH MY GOD IT IS ED AND STEDE

Puck being alone on stage isn't so sad anymore, after all that. Because Puck, who starts off the play with so little sense of belonging, now has so much to go back to.

And that's it, that's my ideal staging of this play. Honestly, I really, really want to direct it. I have no experience directing but I have the audacity to think I could do it lol. No resources, tho

OH ONE LAST THING HELENA NEEDS TO BE INTO PUP PLAY

also the lovers are all in a polycule, that's just a given, any other staging is cowardly

alright bbye

[exit]

final time stamp: 9:25 PM, not rereading, just hitting post. We die like Mercutio.

[ninyard]

kevin and jeremy for the headcanon game if you’re still doing it pls :)))

i did kevin already so here's my #2 babygirl jeremy,, i hate to call him a golden retriever but... if the shoe fits

realistic headcanon: he has adhd but can't be medicated because USC take drug testing seriously and his meds are banned by the NCAA and the ERC. he can take them when they're not in competition, but once the season starts, he has to come off them again. oh, he is Symptomatic. he has location tracker tag things on his keys, find my iphone is ALWAYS on, he's had more bank cards than years in his life, is a frequent victim of the ADHD tax on subscriptions he forgets to cancel. he always writes important things he has to remember on his hands and then washes his hands forgetting they're there. he forgets to pee if he's too focused on something. he has 100 abandoned hobbies (the yo-yo is his newest one). he talks too loud when hes excited. he has sensory issues. hes really smart but hates academics. talks to himself sometimes. (getting him mic'ed up during a game is a dream and a treat because of the things he says while talking to himself)

may not be realistic it is hilarious: he loves drugs on the off-season. he absolutely loves going clubbing and MDMA is his favourite. he'd also take half or a quarter of a pill just chilling with Laila and Cat and have a mini party just the three of them. he believes he is his best self when he is high on uppers. not a fan of coke because he doesn't feel like it does anything for him though, he doesn't smoke, but will take edibles. LOVES to paint/draw/make art when he's high. he's not quote unquote addicted, and is really good at pacing himself/saying no/knowing when to stop, but when he doesn't have to do drug tests for Exy? he's living his best life

heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends: listen. at this point we understand my opinions on jeremy's past but. the reason why he doesn't swear is because his family/brother(s) used to swear at him so much as a kid that he just genuinely hates it. he hates the way it sounds coming out of his mouth. he doesn't like it, he doesn't think it's attractive, he just thinks swearing is unnecessary and actively chooses not to swear. (that doesn't mean he doesn't, but it's so rare that he does - if you ever, ever, ever hear jeremy knox swearing, then he is PISSED. he is livid. he is im-going-to-kill-a-man levels of angry. if you hear him swearing? run.)

unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own: i feel like i haven't had enough time to live with jeremy knox to come up with incredibly niche canon disregarding hcs yet. probably kisses women when hes drunk. maybe he ties his shoes weird. needs glasses but refuses to get his eyes tested. doesn't have a gag reflex. actually hates the way he looks in red. i don't know!!!! ask me again once he's been living in my brain a little longer

[envymatsu]

Fuck it. St0nermatsu au head canons bc who gives a shit

Below the cut for obvious reasons

Obviously this kind of stuff is something that is p illegal and very looked down upon in Japan but I'm asking you to gently take my hand and pretend that it isn't... this is entirely for my own amusement.

Osomatsu: Does smoke, but prefers drinking to smoking. If he's smoking he's either spending all day inside watching cartoons, or if he feels like it he'll go out and get crossfaded, which always results in complete and utter chaos for himself and everyone around him. Has definitely woken up face first in a ditch before.

Preferred method: pipe (basic bitch)

Karamatsu: Doesn't smoke because he doesn't want the smell on him, but does indulge in the occasional edible. You'd think he'd be pretty open about schweed bc he thinks it's cool or whatever, but he's actually a little ashamed of it. It's harder to keep up his persona when he's high so he always tries to be alone. Ironically, his brothers actually prefer him when he's high but he's too deluded to admit it, or even realize it. He started so that he could take better naps but actually really just enjoys being able to turn his brain off. I think of Karamatsu as a chronic overthinker so it would definitely help.

Preferred method: edibles

Choromatsu: You would think he doesn't smoke but he's actually pretty frequent. Not every day but on a consistent basis. He ofc always scolds his brothers for it but we know he's a massive hypocrite. He's the kind of guy who genuinely thinks he's dying when he's high and everyone's really confused on why he does it. Would probably also smoke and then psych himself out watching horror movies. Definitely the paranoid type. Maybe he's into the fear, idk.

I think it would be really funny though if he got like, super into it. Like knows all the strains in the area and probably knows how to smoke out of anything. A hipster about it I guess is what I'm trying to convey.

Preferred method: says none, but like. Genuinely really likes the apple.

Ichimatsu: The only one I think would be a full on st0ner. Took a while to warm up to it but genuinely loves the peace of mind it gives him. Don't get me wrong, even stoned he's still loner/weirdo and just continues doing whatever he was already doing (playing with cats, going for walks, reading, etc) but he doesn't internally panic if someone smiles at him on the street.

Preferred method: b0ng

Jyushimatsu: You would think it mellows him out. It does not. He took one edible one time, got the worst munchies known to man, and passed out in the most inconvenient spot until it wore off. He doesn't want to actually smoke bc he doesn't want to possibly damage his lungs bc he needs them for baseball. He's OK with his brothers doing it but doesn't really participate

Preferred method: none

Todomatsu: Only smokes socially, has no intention of smoking or getting high in his free time. Definitely just bums it off of other people. When he's high he's a little obnoxious about it though. Definitely tells people how much he loves it and how he got soooo high, but he actually isn't super into it because it's harder for him to keep up appearances and he can end up being incredibly brutal at times when he's trying to be sweet/manipulative

Preferred method: whatevers available