#genuinely i was pretty lost for most of it
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Hi! Can you make arcane characters x reader who is afraid of touch?
of course! thank you for the request <3
characters included; jinx, vi, mel, sevika, caitlyn
summary; arcane women with a girlfriend who is afraid of touch.
tags/warnings; hurt/comfort, (vague) mentions of past trauma, fluff, mentions of poor mental health
men dni.
jinx;
✧.* jinx is pretty understanding when it comes to fear of being touched. she is as well, for the most part. when it comes to a relationship, i think jinx would be incredibly touchy, but if you tell her that you're afraid and/or uncomfortable she'll give you the space that you need. yes, jinx enjoys physical touch, but she doesn't want to overstep any boundaries.
✧.* jinx will probably resort to words to show her love instead, though she's not the best with them. saying sweet things like "i missed ya, trinket! i've got something to show ya, yeah?" or "oh gods, you just look so pretty, it's impossible!"
✧.* jinx is the textbook definition of clingy. look up the word in a dictionary, and her face will be underneath. so she won't physically hang off your arm if you're afraid of touch, but she'll still follow closely behind you like some kind of lost puppy. it's endearing, honestly. jinx just needs to be close to you somehow at all times.
✧.* the closeness reassures her. she's used to everyone she lets in, everyone she cares about dying. so to share that proximity with you and have the reassurance that you're here, alive, with her, it means a lot more than jinx thinks you'll ever understand.
✧.* like i said, jinx is the same way to an extent. touch-starved, but also won't let anyone close enough to touch her. so when she met you, let you in and began to trust you, part of jinx did expect that touch. you're in a relationship, after all. but once you explain to her, she understands wholeheartedly!
✧.* also constantly showing her love through gifts and grandiose gestures. makeshift firework shows that are a fire waiting to happen? yep! music boxes that play your favorite songs (although slightly out of tune)? also yes! tagging walls in the undercity with your initials together in hearts! you bet! jinx will go above and beyond, she doesn't want to scare you off by doing something she knows you're afraid of
✧.* on the off chance you do let her touch you she'll be making sure you're alright, but also very very happy for those little moments.
✧.* pressing soft kisses to your cheeks while whispering, "you okay, sweetness?"
✧.* jinx doesn't really question you on these things, she just lets it be. if you say you're afraid of touch, then so be it. not a problem for her.
✧.* "come with me!" she'd say, using her hand to wave you over. "what's this about, jinx?" you'd ask, quirking an eyebrow. jinx would be giggling all the way, shaking her head and nearly skipping towards her destination. "don't worry about it, toots! you'll love it, i promise!"
✧.* knowing jinx, she's probably dragging you to the last drop after hours so she can show you how she decorated it just for you (don't question how she managed to pull that off), or she's taking you to her hideout to show you some of the gifts she made you. she's just so excitable around you, she can't help it
vi;
✧.* vi is a little confused at first i think, but that's just because of her need for communication and specifics. like yes, you're afraid of touch, but what kind of touch?
✧.* she has a loooot of questions. she's not trying to pry at all, genuinely just trying to understand you and where you're coming from better. is it alright if she hugs you every now and then? can she hold your hand? what don't you want her to do? do you need her to ask to touch you, or not touch you at all?
✧.* literally just doing everything in her power to not scare you off. vi has a good thing going with you, something real. the last thing that she wants is to fuck it up because she couldn't keep her hands off of you
✧.* vi is sooo so good with her words, though. a master at sweet talking you to show her adoration.
✧.* "you look so beautiful right now, y'know that? i mean- you always do, but gods, right now..." or something along the lines of, "look at you, all focused and stuff. you always amaze me, cupcake."
✧.* one of her defaults is that it's a trauma response, mostly because she knows that's most of where her sister's fear of touch comes from. she'll try to approach the subject delicately, letting you know that if you need to talk about anything she's here and she only wants to help. it can come off as slightly patronizing without her meaning to, so it really all depends on how you take it.
✧.* if it is a response, then fine, vi wants to help and support you the best she can. if not, then she backs off still, settling for just doing you favors and vocalizing her love for you
✧.* she will not let you do a damn thing if you're in a domestic situation. vi is so loving and attentive. she will handle the cooking, cleaning, laundry, all that... you just rest!!
✧.* honest to gods, vi is just such a sweetheart. literally whatever makes you happiest and most comfortable is done without question by her.
✧.* on the off-chance that your girlfriend does scare you or accidentally crosses a line, she'll be profusely apologizing. asking if there's anything she can do to make it up to you, this is the absolute last thing she wants.. if you need space, you've got it. need words of reassurance? consider it done. literally anything.
✧.* generally, i'd think vi is touchy but not enough that this would be a problem. she's versatile, she can show her love in a lot of ways!
✧.* "mm.. i'll do your laundry for you tonight. give you some time off." "vi, that's not necessary-" "shh. it's done. see? i'm already on my way, getting your laundry..."
mel;
✧.* honestly a bit confused at first. mel has grown up around war, tragedy, and despair, but she hasn't met many people who are just downright afraid of being touched- even in the midst of chaos.
✧.* she probably immediately goes to thinking it's because of something that's happened, though, only because of the war and tragedy that she's seen. she hasn't seen fear of touch in particular, but mel has seen a lot of things affect a lot of people in different ways. if it is, then she wants to support you, of course. if not, she still will do her best to show her appreciation for you in other ways.
✧.* mel is easily one of the most devoted and gentle lovers ever, and she has so many tricks up her sleeve when it comes to affection. we've already established that she'd be spoiling you constantly, but she'd also be using her words so well. i also think mel might be the type to write you poetry, honestly. is she the best writer? probably not. but damn, she pours her heart into it.
✧.* "hey, darling. i wrote something else for you, see?" she'd say while holding up another slip of paper, just to add to the collection of your endless others. "written just for my dearest girl."
✧.* mel is just so attentive. she'll probably be a bit protective, especially in public. even if it's just a stranger innocently tapping you on the shoulder to ask for directions to the station, she doesn't want you to get scared.
✧.* "aht- i'll handle that. directions, yeah? you'll go straight here, then take a left, and another left right past the council building." all before someone can touch you.
✧.* if you do allow any kind of touch later on, mel will tread lightly. it's not that she thinks you can't handle yourself or you're fragile, but she just wouldn't be able to live with herself if she scared you off somehow or hurt you.
✧.* light caresses to your cheeks, gentle hugs, guiding you by the small of your back, her head on your shoulder or lap. always so careful, but so sweet and loving
✧.* of course mel will have a lot of questions initially, but it's only because of her need for connection and understanding. she doesn't mean to push or prod, she just wants to understand her lover better and know exactly what is and isn't okay. what will make you most comfortable being with her, that's all that she wants
✧.* hands-down the best at comforting you if you do happen to get scared by touch, though it's usually not at her own hands.
✧.* "hey. hey, tell me what happened. i'm right here, you're alright." she'd say, her voice low and soothing. "nothing's gonna hurt you, nothing's gonna touch you. at least not while i'm here. just let me make things better."
sevika;
✧.* i don't think you'd really need to have a conversation with sevika about it. she's intuitive. the first time you flinched from her touch, trying to wrap an arm around your waist, she knew something was up and she backed off. she wouldn't ask, wouldn't push for more information than you're comfortable giving her. something in her tells her that it's a sensitive topic, and asking might make things worse.
✧.* if you want to talk to her about it, the floor is open. you know that she'll listen, she always does. but until then, she won't pry.
✧.* if you do decide to have that conversation with sevika, she'll take in and cling onto every last word. we've established time and time again how loyal and devoted she is, how she'll do anything just to make sure you're content. she'd listen attentively, taking note of every little thing that you say scares you, of every shift in tone of your voice.
✧.* "i... thank you for telling me this." she'd whisper, her eyes locked with yours. "you know you don't have to hide a thing from me, yeah? but i won't ask for more than you wanna tell me, either. just don't hold out on me, dove."
✧.* besides, sevika has a lot of other ways she can show her love to you. that connection can be achieved through other means! late night talks, bringing you to play games of blackjack and poker with her, etc.
✧.* that's actually one of her favorite ways to have fun with you: gambling! as odd as it may sound, it's one of her favorite pastimes, and getting you involved in her world is a big deal for sevika. someone who famously doesn't let anyone in. so for her to play games alongside you when she's typically merciless, giving you tips for your own hand, it's a big deal.
✧.* if you do allow sevika to touch you, it'll be fleeting and soft. almost as if she's afraid. it's only because she wants to ensure your comfort and sanctuary, really.
✧.* light kisses to your jawline as she whispers things like, "look at you, so beautiful," or "my sweet girl, you look tired. let's turn in, hm? i can hold you. or not. your call, dove..."
✧.* like she doesn't need to be told twice that you're afraid. sevika is very good with respect, very good with communication and laying off. she loves you, she doesn't want to make you afraid or uncomfortable at all if she can help it.
✧.* super protective in public, though. if anyone tries to touch you at all, even if just to push past you in a crowded place, she's immediately pushing them away from you and telling them off.
✧.* "hey. you lay off her, ya hear? thought we learned as kids to keep our hands to ourselves."
caitlyn;
✧.* i think caitlyn would also catch on pretty quickly. she'd ask just to be sure, but she's a smart woman. she can take hints, put pieces together, figure things out. the first time you inched away from her touch was coincidence, the second time was anything but.
✧.* naturally, cait brought it up with you when she got a moment that was just you and her. she tries to approach the subject with caution and care, as she doesn't want to scare you off or seem like she's aiming to force information out of you. but she loves you, and she worries.
✧.* "you can tell me things, love. i promise, i won't get angry. whatever it is, you can tell me."
✧.* she's understanding once you do tell her! she's been raised knowing devastation and war, though her upbringing is privileged. she still knows about trauma, about fear, about phobias, all that kind of thing. even if it's just a thing of general anxiety and you not wanting to let people in that way. she won't take it personally, she knows that this is just something innate within some people
✧.* caitlyn will likely resort to her words and acts of service instead. she's constantly doing things for you, trying to make your life easier in any way that she can. if there's some housework you need done, consider it taken care of. if you're feeling hungry, she's cooking your favorite without a second thought.
✧.* she might accidentally touch you without thinking- like a brush against your back or a grasp of your hand, but she immediately pulls back and apologizes the second she realizes what she's doing. she gets the hang of it rather quickly, but she's used to showing physical affection to her family and friends.
✧.* she still loves sharing a bed with you at night, but cait makes it abundantly clear that she doesn't expect you to cuddle up to her, and she won't hold you unless you ask her to. she's perfectly happy having you next to her, just your presence soothes her to sleep.
✧.* "shh... just sleep, dear. i'll be right here. you always look so peaceful when you're at rest, it's beautiful."
✧.* cait is honestly just so sweet and understanding, she'll do anything and everything in her power to make sure that you're at ease!
#jinx x reader#vi x reader#mel medarda x reader#sevika x reader#caitlyn kiramman x reader#arcane x reader#reader insert#arcane x you#sapphic
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could you do a dae ho fic please? Like the reader was a barista he has a crush on but never had the courage to ask out previously to the games. And then once they get into the games he protects her and she reveals she always found him cute as well. Thanks :)
so, i may have gotten carried away while writing this one. pretty sure i typed out wayyy too many unnecessary details oops! (but i can't help it i'm sorry). anyways, i love dae-ho so so much like <3333 such a cutie
✧ pairing: kang dae-ho x fem!reader
✧ summary: dae-ho happened to be a regular at the cafe you worked at as a barista, and you had started to grow feelings for him over time. when you find yourself in the games, he ends up there as well and ultimately saves your life. fearing for your life and the fear of the unknown leads to late night confessions.
✧ content: typical squid game violence, mentions of death, i think that's it. literally just straight fluff
✧ word count: 4.8k
Your life was quiet, but you enjoyed it that way. Being a barista was the perfect job for you, it was relaxing and there was nothing you loved more than interacting with customers, especially the regulars. Unfortunately, while you loved your job, it wasn’t enough. You lived in a cramped apartment that was cozy, but your job just barely covered the rent. On top of that, you couldn’t cover your debt. You were swimming in debt, trying your hardest to help pay for your younger sister's medical bills. She was ill, and constant hospital trips and stays started building up fast. It was just the two of you, your parents having passed a few years prior. You would do anything for your sister, but having the loan sharks breathing down your neck constantly was beginning to drive you insane. You needed more money and fast.
Lost in thought, you absentmindedly drew shapes into the counter with your fingernail. The cafe was quite slow, but with the gloominess and light drizzle outside, it made sense. The bell above the door rang, signaling that someone had entered. Looking up, you immediately began to smile. One of your favorite regulars, Dae-ho, had stepped inside.
His eyes immediately met yours and he smiled at you, making your heart flutter. Dae-ho was the most kind, genuine soul you had ever met. He never failed to light up your day, even just by being in his presence. He truly was a gentleman, most likely thanks to growing up with four sisters.
“Just the usual?” You asked as he walked up to the counter.
“What, no ‘hello Dae-ho, how are you’?” He asked teasingly as you rolled your eyes.
“Hello Dae-ho, how are you?” You feigned annoyance, however you truly did want to know how he was doing. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t developed a crush on the man in front of you. He was incredibly sweet to you (and incredibly handsome), so how could you not fall for him?
“I’m great, (Y/N). And yes, I’ll take my usual.” The grin on his face was contagious, and you smiled, nodding as you began to make his order. He was a man of simple taste, ordering an Americano every time he came in. While you made it (and grabbed him a free pastry), you could hear him ask how you were doing.
“Oh, you know. Same shit different day. Just trying to get by,” You replied as you snapped the lid on his drink. Turning around, you slid it across the counter along with the bagged pastry. Dae-ho furrowed his brows at the sight of the pastry, looking at you questioningly. You shook your head before he could say anything. “Just take it, Dae. It’s on me.”
His cheeks turned a little pink at the sound of the nickname, but he nodded gratefully. He placed his money for the coffee in your hand, your skin tingling as his fingers brushed yours. You took the money and put it in the register, handing him back his change. Of course, he took his change and put it in your tip jar.
Before he picked up his items, he looked at you as you leaned on the counter. Your eyes were so full of life, the smile on your lips making his heart thud. But he could see the exhaustion in your face, no matter how hard you tried to hide it. Without thinking, he leaned over and tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. His fingers brushed against your jaw gently. Eyes wide, you looked at him, cheeks starting to burn. He smiled softly, dropping his hand and picking up his coffee and pastry.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” He asked, even though he knew your work schedule like the back of his hand. You nodded, still dazed, as he chuckled and walked off with a small wave.
Once outside the shop, he cursed to himself. Oh, how he wishes he were bold enough to ask you out. Every time he thought he could do it, he backed out, fearing rejection. He didn’t want to mess up the friendship the two of you had. One day, he promised himself.
— Once you had closed up shop for the day, you locked the doors to the café and headed towards the subway.
You sat down on a bench, placing your bag directly next to you. While you waited, you stared at the ground in front of you as you absentmindedly picked at your cuticles. When you weren’t working and keeping yourself distracted, the stress started to take over.
Your body tensed as someone sat next to you. Turning your head, you saw a man dressed in a nice suit, a briefcase by his side. Sighing, you scooted away a little bit more. “Whatever you’re selling, I’m definitely not interested.”
“I’m not selling anything. In fact, I would like to let you in on a great opportunity. Would you like to play a game with me?”
You frowned, confusion evident on your face. A game? Seriously? Turning towards him, you studied him for a moment. Something about this man was off putting. As you were about to open your mouth to decline his offer, he opened up a briefcase. The words died on your tongue as you saw the stacks of money.
“I’m sure you’ve played ddakji before, yes?” He asked as he picked up the red and blue squares. You nodded slowly. “Play a few games with me. And each time you win, I’ll pay you a 100,000 won.”
You stared at the money as you pondered. You needed this. A couple games of ddakji couldn’t hurt, right?
And you played. You had won most of the rounds, earning a couple of slaps in the face when you didn’t. By the time the game was over, you had accumulated a decent amount of money. Of course, not nearly enough to cover what you needed it for. As you sat there counting the money, the salesman began to speak.
“You know, miss. There are more games like this where you can win even more.”
You paused, looking up at him. It sounded too good to be true. As you were going to decline, he began to list all of your personal information. He knew your name, your occupation, the amount of debt you had accumulated. Your mouth dropped, unable to get a word out. He smiled smugly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a card. He handed it to you, and you snatched it.
“We don’t have many spots left.”
Those words resonated with you as you sat in your apartment. Taking a deep breath, you called the number on the back of the card.
“Do you wish to participate in the game? If you wish to participate, please state your name and birthdate.”
Next thing you knew, you were standing on a street corner in the dark. You rocked back and forth on your heels anxiously as you waited. Soon enough, a car pulled up next to you, rolling down the window. A masked person donning a pink suit turned his head in your direction.
“Ms. (Full name)?”
You nodded, following up with the password they had given you over the phone. The back door slid open and you climbed in, noticing the other people in the seats who were seemingly asleep. You shook off the uneasiness, trying to get comfortable in the seat. Seconds later, steam began to fill the car, making you cough. And then the world went dark.
~
When you awoke, your brain felt fogged and you were incredibly groggy. You screwed your eyes shut as the overhead lights threatened to blind you. Classical music filled your ears, and you groaned as you sat up. Opening your eyes, you scanned your surroundings. Numerous people were getting out of their beds, all wearing the same green tracksuit with numbers plastered on the back. Quickly looking down, you saw that you wore the same thing. Then you noticed your number in bold white, 301. You got out of the bed, making your way down the stairs the same way everyone else was. As you were taking it all in, the doors at the front of the room underneath the screen opened. Multiple masked figures stepped out, walking forward. The one in the front began speaking.
“I would like to extend a hearty welcome to all of you. Everyone here will participate in six games over the course of six days. Those who win will receive a handsome cash prize.”
Players began to speak up. All made good points, and you agreed that you all being basically kidnapped and the masked guards were a little strange.
Then, you gasped as multiple players were shown on screen playing the game of ddakji, announcing their names and how much debt they were in. Thankfully, your name didn’t come up.
When it came time, you got in line and signed the consent form. You didn’t bother reading it, you were just here to play some games after all. You were sure it was just some dumb fine print that didn’t really mean anything.
Soon enough, yourself and all of the other players filed into a multi-colored room. There were stairs leading up, and as you looked around you noticed multiple guards stationed in different spots. Shaking off your unease, you stepped up to the photo booth and turned to face the camera. Upon hearing the ‘smile!’, you mustered up a small smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.
“The first game will begin momentarily. After having your picture taken, follow the staff’s instructions and proceed to the game site.”
You followed behind the other players up the stairs, coming up to a large door where everyone was filing into.
“Welcome to the first game. All players, please wait a moment on the field.”
You entered the large clearing in front of you, squinting as the sunlight hit your eyes. As your eyes adjusted, you looked around at the four large walls and the comically large doll with the tree directly ahead. There were two guards standing on either side of it.
Suddenly, the three large doors slammed shut behind you with a loud clank. You gasped and turned around, as did many others.
“The first game is Red Light, Green Light. Cross the finish line without getting caught in five minutes. If you do, you pass.”
Suddenly, someone pushed past you to get to the front of the group. He seemed frantic, turning towards everyone.
“Everyone!” he shouted, waving his arms in the air. He had your full attention now. “Everyone listen up, pay attention!”
“This is not just a game! If you lose the game, you die!”
Your breath caught in your throat. There’s no way he was serious, right? How could you possibly die playing a children’s game? Others seemed to think the same thing, as someone asked him what the hell he was talking about. “We’re going to die playing Red Light, Green Light?” someone asked with a scoff.
“Yes, that’s right! If they catch you moving, they will kill you! They will shoot you from somewhere! Stay on your toes. That doll’s eyes are motion detectors!”
Murmurs rippled through the crowd, no one seeming to take his word for it. Many were voicing their thoughts that this was just some ploy to get all of the money for himself.
“You have to believe me!” His voice was laced with desperation. As he finished his sentence, the doll began to whir to life, turning to face the tree. Its arm raised up, placed against the tree. The man, player 456, whirled around, panic evident in his movements.
“Do not be alarmed or panic! No matter what happens, do not panic and start running!”
Your heart began to hammer in your chest. Something in your gut told you to believe him. He seemed way too genuine to be making this all up.
“Let the game begin.”
The timer across the room flickered to life, displaying a red five minute timer.
Mugunghwa Kkoch-i Pieossseubnida
You began to move forward, freezing as the doll whirled back around and player 456 held up his hands. “Freeze!” He yelled out. Everyone stayed as still as a statue.
“Well done! You just need to stay calm like this!”
Once the doll turned again, you started to run forward, freezing again moments later. The doll's head turned, its eyes calculating everyone’s movement. Player 456 continued to yell out instructions, and so far everyone seemed to be listening despite calling him crazy.
Mugunghwa Kkoch-i Pieossseubnida
You began to run forward again, stopping dead in your tracks along with everyone else. This continued successfully for a couple of cycles. For a moment though, while you were all paused, someone began to scream. Yourself and many others side eyed the girl in shock.
“Crap. I just moved.” And with that, moments later, a gunshot rang out. Your eyes widened, unmoving, but terrified.
“NOBODY MOVE!! You must not move!” Player 456 shouted frantically, not wanting panic to ensue. Unfortunately, it was far too late for that. Multiple gunshots began to follow the first, people dropping around you left and right. Blood began to cover the field. It seemed non-stop. Your body began to tremble, feeling nauseous as the chaos unfolded around you. Player 456 was screaming at this point, trying to save everyone that he could.
“Let me repeat. You can move forward while the tagger shouts ‘Green light, red light’. If your movement is detected afterward, you will be eliminated.”
After the announcement, the game resumed. This time, nobody dared to move from their spot. Once the green light was given again, the only person to move was player 456. And then again, he was the only one to move. Everybody was glued to their spot, too terrified to move. He began to shout instructions again, telling everyone to get behind someone bigger than you. That’s exactly what you did at the next cycle, getting behind players 120 and 124. You stayed close behind as they moved forward, trying to make sure your movement was minimal. This continued until you were almost at the finish line.
“LETS GO!” Player 456 screamed, everyone beginning to push forward as fast as they could. You did the exact same, until your foot slipped as you were trying to come to a stop. Fear coursed through your body as the ground got closer, the doll about to turn around. Everything was moving in slow motion. This was it, this was how you were going to die. Your eyes screwed shut, waiting for the impact from the ground and the bullet. Suddenly, though, you weren’t moving anymore. The back of your jacket was held tightly by somebody behind you, right as the doll said red light and turned. Your eyes flew open in shock, not daring to move a muscle. It was the longest moment of your entire life, praying whoever had their grip on your jacket didn’t lose it. As soon as the doll turned back around, whoever was behind you instantly pulled you back up. Your arm was grabbed and you were hastily pulled towards the red line, being shoved over it as the doll said red light. You stumbled and fell to your hands and knees, wheezing as you tried to catch your breath. Then you paused, whipping around to see who it was.
And there he was, standing mere inches from the finish line. You stared at him, mouth agape. Dae-ho was standing right in front of you, the number 388 plastered to his jacket. Your heart thudded in your chest, your ears ringing. You couldn’t even process it, that he was in this mess just like you were. Moments later, he crossed the line, running straight to you. He crouched down next to you, gripping your face in his hands like he was making sure you were real. Your lips parted, but words refused to come out. He had just saved your life and there you sat trembling like a leaf, not even able to muster a ‘thank you’. However, he didn’t say anything either. His eyes said it all. He was completely terrified.
“Dae-ho…” You whispered, your voice shaking. Before he could respond, everyone’s heads shot up towards the sky. A retractable roof was closing over the top of the arena, closing you all in like animals in a cage.
Before he could say anything, you were all being herded back to the main room. The guards gave you no time to process anything, forcing you to get moving. Dae-ho stayed right next to you, a gentle grip on your upper arm. The atmosphere entering back into the main room was dark, the obscene amount of death and bloodshed looming over everyone’s head like a dark cloud. You sat next to Dae-ho, silent as a mouse. Everyone was silent. What could possibly be said after what you had all just witnessed? Your gaze bore into the ground in front of you, knees tucked into your chest with your arms wrapped around them. Dae-ho was lost in thought, his side pressed up against yours. The touch kept you somewhat grounded, though just barely.
Suddenly, the bright overhead lights flickered to life and the door opened. Everyone's attention turned towards the guards that stepped into the room. Upon seeing them, everybody scrambled back further, clearly terrified. You were no exception, pushing yourself backwards up the stairs behind you. Dae-ho did the same, a protective grip around your body.
“Congratulations for making it through the first game. Here are the results from the first game.” The board above them began to change, the number 456 changing to 365.
More chaos began to ensue. People begging for their lives, the promise of a fair voting process. The voting process was anything but smooth, tensions beginning to rise between the players. You chose X with no hesitation. While you needed the money, you had to be there for your sister. You couldn’t help her, the only family she had left, if you were dead. Dae-ho had voted X as well, much to your relief. Unfortunately, your relief was short lived, as you lost the vote to leave by one. You were devastated, wanting nothing more than to curl up and cry. Showing weakness may not be the greatest idea, though. Not in a place like this.
Once it was meal time, you sat on the stairs with your tin of food in one hand and water bottle in the other. You had zero appetite. Dae-ho, who was sitting next to you, wasted no time in digging into his. You turned your head towards him and he paused.
“What?” He asked halfway through shoveling food into his mouth. You let out a humorless laugh, shaking your head. “You need to eat something too, (Y/N). You can’t let yourself go hungry, gotta retain your strength. Here,” He said, scooping some of his onto his spoon and putting it up to your mouth. Your lips tightened into a thin line, silently refusing. He frowned. “I’m serious-”
“What are you even doing here, Dae-ho?” You cut him off, turning towards him a little more. He swallowed, frown still on his face.
“I could ask you the same thing.” His tone was completely serious now, setting his tin down next to him. You set yours down as well, refusing to meet his eyes.
“It doesn’t matter. We’re both in this mess, and now we both have to somehow make it out alive.” You hoped you didn’t come off as hopeless as you felt. Dae-ho decided not to press any further. He nodded in agreement. There was nothing the two of you could do about it now.
“We’re going to get out of here, you and I. Together. I swear to you,” He grabbed your hands in his, running his thumb across your knuckles. That was his typical positive attitude coming out. You sighed, finally meeting his eyes. “Now come on. I was serious before, you need to at least try to eat.” He said, his usual grin returning to his face. You couldn’t help it, your lips twitched up into a smile. If it were possible, his smile got even wider, gently pinching your cheek with his fingers. “Aha! There’s that smile that I know and love.”
You rolled your eyes, giving him a light shove. He laughed, and you gave in, picking up your tin. You ate in small bites, finally realizing how hungry you truly were. Dae-ho resumed eating, scarfing his down before you were even a third of the way done with yours. He patiently waited until you were finished with yours, taking your tin from you and setting it aside.
After meal time, you and Dae-ho had begun conversing with player 456 and player 399 who were nearby. As it turns out, player 399 whose name you found out to be Jung-bae, was a former marine just like Dae-ho. They saluted each other, their interactions causing you to giggle, letting some of the tension leave your body. Dae-ho’s eyes lit up at the sound, warmth spreading through his body. The rest of the night went as smoothly as it could save for the scuffle that occurred between players 230, 124, 333 and 001.
Then, it was time for lights out. Most players were fast asleep, but you laid in your bed, staring up at the glowing piggy bank. Alone with your thoughts, your mind was racing. There was no way you could sleep. Your head was pounding and you sighed as you turned onto your side. Lucky for you, Dae-ho’s bed was right next to yours. Realistically, he had claimed it as soon as he saw it was empty, assuming the person who was there previously was eliminated. From what you could tell, he was fast asleep. However you really needed some company and reassurance at the moment.
“Dae,” You whispered. He didn’t budge. Of course, you thought as you rolled your eyes. He would be a heavy sleeper. “Dae-ho!” You whisper-shouted, hoping you didn’t have to say it again. Thankfully, you saw him starting to stir. His eyes fluttered open, opening completely as he realized it was you who had awoken him. Quickly, he sat up.
“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” He whispered, concern gracing his features. You shook your head, starting to feel a little silly for waking him.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have woken you up. You can go back to sleep.” You whispered back, realizing he was probably exhausted.
He shook his head, getting up from his bed and coming over to yours. He knelt down next to you, tucking your hair behind your ear. You felt pitiful.
“Will you lay with me?” Your voice came out as barely a whisper, but he heard you loud and clear. His heart skipped a beat, a soft smile spreading across his face.
“Of course, love. Scoot over.”
You blushed at the nickname but immediately moved over to make room for him. Without hesitation, he hopped into your bed, laying on his side so that he was facing you. He cupped your face gently, running his thumb over your cheekbone. You didn’t say anything, but he read you like a book. “What’s wrong?”
You could feel a lump forming at the back of your throat, and you stared into his eyes. Truth be told, you were so terrified. This was a fear you had never felt before in your life. If it wasn’t for the man next to you, you wouldn’t even be alive. How did you go from casually flirting with each other in the coffee shop, not a care in the world, to arriving at death’s door together? Tears burned at the back of your eyes, threatening to come to the surface.
“I’m scared, Dae-ho. I’m so scared,” Your voice cracked, tears spilling over your eyes slowly. Dae-ho was quick to wipe them away, his heart breaking. “I just wanted to save my sister. I thought that if I joined the games and won some money, I could take the stress off of both of us. I wouldn’t have to worry about the medical bills, or the loan sharks, or anything. I would be able to work without having the weight of the world on my shoulders, and it would just be us in the cafe, and nothing else would matter. You and my sister were the only things keeping me going, and now you and I are both here and one or both of us could die.” You cried quietly as Dae-ho looked at you sadly. He pulled you into his chest, shushing you as you wept into his shirt. He let you cry it out, not saying anything as he rubbed your back. Eventually, when you became silent, he pulled back so he could look at your face. Your eyes were red, cheeks tear streaked.
“(Y/N), listen to me. As long as we’re in here together, I won’t let anything happen to you. Truly, you’re the light of my life and if something happened to you I don’t think I could forgive myself. You’re my anchor, especially in a place like this. I have something here to keep me going, you know?” He murmured. You sniffled and nodded, but he kept going. “The moment I saw you in that cafe I knew I was in trouble. I thought you were the most perfect thing to grace this earth, and if I wasn’t so stupid, I would’ve asked you out a long time ago.”
Your eyes widened at that, looking at him as he smiled at you. “You really mean that?” Your pulse quickened at the confession.
“Every word,” He chuckled as he drew shapes into the fabric of your jacket. “This is gonna be awkward for me if you don’t feel the same.” At that, you gave him a light shove and he laughed.
“Of course I feel the same, you idiot. Why do you think you were getting so many free pastries?” You joked, then became serious. “Seriously though, Dae-ho. I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it. I wish you would’ve asked me out a long time ago, I’ve had a giant crush on you for a while now. I thought it was obvious.”
“It was obvious,” you rolled your eyes at that. “I was just too scared to do something about it. I didn’t wanna mess anything up between us. And now here we are, in the worst possible situation, and I’m finally confessing this to you.” He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes as he thought about the circumstances. “How about when we get out of here, I take you out on a date, yeah? We’ll go somewhere nice with my share of the money.”
“It doesn’t have to be fancy, Dae-ho. As long as I’m with you it doesn’t matter,” You said sincerely, a small smile gracing your lips. “But I would love to.”
He grinned at that, his entire face lighting up. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You grabbed one of his hands and he gave it a gentle squeeze. To his surprise, you craned your neck up and placed your lips directly onto his. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you could feel him smile against your lips as he moved his free hand to the back of your neck, deepening the kiss. He pulled away after a few moments, before leaning back down and placing another quick peck to your lips.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for that.” He teased, excitement present in his voice. You giggled, feeling over the moon with happiness even if it was just for a moment. Dae-ho shifted to lay flat on his back, pulling you with him. Your head rested on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. He had his arm around you and you threw your leg over the top of his, making yourself comfortable
“Thank you for saving my life earlier.” You spoke quietly as you wrapped your arm around him, soothed by the rise and fall of his chest. He was quiet for a moment.
“I would do it all over again. I’m not leaving your side so long as we’re still playing these games.”
Those were the only words you needed to hear, shutting your eyes as you finally drifted off into a peaceful slumber as you could feel him pull the blanket over the two of you. For the first time in a while, your body felt at ease. You felt safe, like there was nothing in the world that could harm you. Even if it was just for the night.
#squid game#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#kang dae ho#kang dae ho x reader#dae ho x reader#player 388#player 388 x reader
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Have you ever felt like Martin doesn't like Cersei? The way he writes about her made me question? I mean she is both evil and stupid and it seems like we are supposed to laugh at her.
Cersei is pretty evil, and while I don't believe she's stupid, it's hard not to laugh (incredulously or otherwise) at her many, many bad ideas over the course of the series. Especially in AFFC.
But it's also clear to me that GRRM has compassion for this villain he's created - and that he has right from the start.
Let's put this under a cut for domestic violence and sheer length.
Ned touched her cheek gently. "Has he done this before?" "Once or twice." She shied away from his hand. "Never on the face before. Jaime would have killed him, even if it meant his own life." Cersei looked at him defiantly. "My brother is worth a hundred of your friend." Eddard XII, AGoT
GRRM chooses to frame the pivotal confrontation between Ned and Cersei with the reality of the domestic violence Cersei has experienced. Whatever else happens in that scene, whatever else she's done that might or might not be justified, the author makes sure the reader knows, Ned knows, that Cersei has good reason to hate Robert.
When she hesitated, then sat, Tyrion knew she was lost, despite her loud declaration of, "I will not marry again!" "You will marry and you will breed. Every child you birth makes Stannis more a liar." Their father's eyes seemed to pin her to her chair. Tyrion III, ASoS
This is re-emphasised as Tyrion witnesses Tywin's abuse of Cersei. Even Tyrion, who also has good reason to hate Cersei, cannot help but see how their father completely ignores Cersei's desires, reduces her autonomy to rubble, and above all makes her feel small. This is quite deliberately in Tyrion's PoV to make that dissonance stronger. Cersei is awful, but Tyrion can take no satisfaction in Tywin mistreating her.
Similarly,
His sister sat in a puddle of wine, cradling her son's body. Her gown was torn and stained, her face white as chalk. A thin black dog crept up beside her, sniffing at Joffrey's corpse. "The boy is gone, Cersei," Lord Tywin said. He put his gloved hand on his daughter's shoulder as one of his guardsmen shooed away the dog. "Unhand him now. Let him go." She did not hear. It took two Kingsguard to pry loose her fingers, so the body of King Joffrey Baratheon could slide limp and lifeless to the floor. Tyrion VIII, ASoS
Cersei's grief over watching her son murdered in front of her is a key character moment for her. Is Joffrey a good person? No. Is Cersei's immediate response of demanding Tyrion's arrest a good and just idea? No. Is that grief still real? Absolutely.
It was more than Cersei could stand. I cannot let them see me cry, she thought, when she felt the tears welling in her eyes. She walked past Ser Meryn Trant and out into the back passage. Alone beneath a tallow candle, she allowed herself a shuddering sob, then another. A woman may weep, but not a queen. Cersei III, AFFC
That lasts. It's not healthy but it is genuine. The author isn't putting this in here so we laugh at her. The author is putting this here to help us remember throughout the parade of evil and stupid crap Cersei's about to do that Cersei is a human with human emotions.
And when all that crap has backfired on Cersei, the author makes sure we know that the punishment inflicted on her is not for her sins but instead for her biological sex. He shows her break from that treatment.
Words are wind, she thought, words cannot hurt me. I am beautiful, the most beautiful woman in all Westeros, Jaime says so, Jaime would never lie to me. Even Robert, Robert never loved me, but he saw that I was beautiful, he wanted me. She did not feel beautiful, though. She felt old, used, filthy, ugly. Cersei II, ADWD
The walk of shame is just misogyny, pure and simple, nothing to do with what Cersei's actually done wrong. It is deliberately not karma out to get Cersei. It is deliberately not comeuppance. It is a reminder that Cersei has a point all those times when she points out she's been treated differently because of her sex - even if it's not the whole of the reason people don't respect her.
Even if a reader doesn't think Cersei deserves mercy, even if a reader finds her political bumbling funny, there's a lot around her that shows us that the reader wants us to think carefully about what made Cersei both a horrible person and a horrible politician. She is most definitely not there just to be the butt of the author's joke. That's Victarion.
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How bend-over-able are the Ateez members? | MTL
...and how would they react to seeing themselves in the mirror during it?
Desc.: what it says on the tin, 1 762 words, sub!ateez x dom!reader smut, implied pegging if you're afab (tbh some of these don't even have to be about penetration), assumed established relationship, mostly suggestive, slightly fluffy if you squint
1. Hongjoong - Loves it loves it loves it. Did I mention he loves it? It makes him feel so slutty and attractive, like you just can't help yourself and need him right then and there. Be it over the kitchen counter, your desk, or the couch, just take him anywhere and everywhere. Over time, the two of you might even make it a game of sorts - whenever Joong wears that pretty green bracelet on his wrist, you already know he's prepped himself that morning and is keeping himself ready with a plug for when you'll inevitably pounce on him. He loves the thrill and surprise of it, you love how he plans in advance to accommodate your every desire. It's a win-win, really.
As for seeing himself during the act, he's a bit confusing. Mirrors are too clear and distracting for him, but seeing your joint reflection in something more matte or colorful really gets him going. He likes both feeling and seeing as you drive into him, making him really hold onto the couch cushions as he watches you two in the dark TV screen.
2. Seonghwa - While Seonghwa definitely likes it when you bend him over, what really gets him is when he bends over for you. He loves the immediate attention it gets him as your eyes trace his every line and curve, whatever you were about to say disappearing from your lips. The way such a simple motion can completely entrance you, drawing you to him like the strongest magnet known to man, riles him up like nothing else. After a few seconds of pure tension, when you finally reach him, he lets you take the lead, lets you get lost in the feeling of, well, him. And while he may be the one who's about to be taken, it's only because you couldn't resist his purposeful charms and movements. Make him feel worshipped, lavished, and powerful, like you've never experienced anything as wonderful as him.
Doesn't really enjoy mirrors, preferring to instead use his imagination to think about how debauched he must look right now. It feels like a dirty little secret he keeps in his mind while you claim him from behind.
3. Wooyoung - This one loves it, end of story. He loves teasing you with it like Seonghwa, loves being surprised by it like Hongjoong, and anything in between. It makes him feel both desired and a little bit more in control than usual since he's still mostly standing and able to move around more while you're inside him. He likes how natural it feels for either of you to initiate this way, and how effective it is in turning the other on. He loves teasing you with it as well, bending over right in front of you to present his best assets, only to scamper away into the bedroom, laughing giddily as you run after him. It's not like either of you mind the chase, though, since it just makes you go that much harder on him once you finally get him under you. Another big plus is how convenient it is whenever there's no bed around or when you're near other people. Your hand clamps down over his mouth, silencing most of his sounds while you drive him up the bathroom counter.
And don't even get me started if there's a mirror in front of him, god. He'd love to look at himself as you're ruining him, only to then cheekily meet your eyes in the reflection. You can't see his smile under your hand, but you can tell it's there from the way his eyes turn into playful, twinkling crescents. He feels so sexy like this, and judging by your intense, laser-focused expression, he knows you agree.
4. Yeosang - Now, contrary to his reserved personality, Yeosang is down for a lot more than most people might think. Similar to Hongjoong, he loves the spontaneity of it and how much it shows your genuine want for him, along with how powerless he gets to feel when you just bend him over to your will whenever you so desire. The only downside is that once you really get into it and are stimulating his g-spot, it's so hard for him to stay in position. Your touch from the inside makes him incredibly squirmy, and if it wasn't for your other hand holding him up by the waist, his knees would have given out long ago. When he does cum eventually, you need to be quick to catch him or he'll literally fall to the ground. Hold him as you slowly slide down with him and make him feel safe in your arms while he comes down from his high. The more secure he feels with you, the more eager he is to do this again in the future <3
As for mirrors, they scare him for most of your session... until he's feeling so submissive and desperate for release that most of his inhibitions disappear. By that point, seeing himself only feeds that craving for powerlessness even more and gets him that much closer to the edge. In other words, if timed right, you'll get him to cum almost immediately; if not, you'll have to reassure him and start all over again. High risk, high reward.
5. San - Being an ass-man himself, he definitely understands the appeal of this position for you and is happy to indulge you often as long as you make him feel good in return. He also enjoys the slightly primal feel of it, much like when you get him on all fours on the bed. He likes feeling conquered, pushed into submission, but only because you wanted him so much you just had to have him. He feels pursued and admired, in a way. Sexy. However, like I said, all of those feelings can be evoked in the comfort of your bed too, and most of the time, San would prefer that over the table or the counter. If that isn't available, though, you can definitely count on him to hold steady and eagerly push back against you as you claim what's yours.
Sometimes, seeing himself in the mirror turns him on further, other times it's too distracting. With San, it all depends on the mood and how adventurous he's feeling that day, really.
6. Jongho - While he definitely enjoys being manhandled by you at unexpected times, Jongho has to be in a very specific type of mood to really enjoy himself like this. That being when he wants you to dom him without any mercy, moving inside him rough and fast. In those moments, he's more than ready to be ravished by you, wanting to feel weak and small. Unlike your usual switchy or soft-dom times, he just wants to let go, to turn off his brain completely while you do whatever you want to him and make your authority physically known. Don't go easy on him, really press him down into that kitchen counter, lean over his back and bite his shoulder while you use him as you please. You both know the safeword, and until then, everything's fair game.
The only permanent "no" from Jongho are mirrors or reflections of any kind, since it distracts him too much and he can't properly get into the headspace he craves so much.
7. Yunho - This one's a bit conflicted. On one hand, bending over means no direct eye contact, which usually makes him really shy and, in turn, more tense than either of you would like. On the other hand, letting you push him down and fuck him from behind makes him feel a little too exposed and slutty, which leads to him blushing and clamping down even more than normal. So, unless you're willing to put in additional time just to get him to relax and come out of his shell, you're probably better off just facing him on the bed and loosening him up until he's properly ready for you. If you do have the time and will, though, he's happy to try and let go for you. In addition, if the two of you succeed, it makes him feel really relaxed and proud of himself afterwards. To put it simply, more time and effort will bear bigger rewards, but it may not be the most convenient or comfortable option for either of you.
Due to the reasons stated above, definitely do not bring a mirror into the equation, since it would just combine the worst of both worlds and he's stuttering his safeword in two minutes tops.
8. Mingi - Despite loving it when you get rough and impatient with him, Mingi is also really big on intimacy when submissive. He loves to look into your eyes as you take him, make sure you can see just how good you're making him feel while he gets to feel small and safe in return. Sometimes he does like to indulge in you fucking him on all fours, sure, but that's because he can still feel your touch on most of his body and loves it when you drape yourself over his back as if you're shielding him from the world. When you bend him over, though, he doesn't really get either. Even if he turns around to look at you while you do it, it just doesn't feel the same and it strains his back and neck after a while. And, well, given his size, it's hard to really lay over him in this position when he can't arch his back and press his chest into the desk properly. So, no matter how many times you've tried this, eventually, it always ends with either Mingi pausing to turn around, or just moving to the bedroom altogether to lie down and face you comfortably. As hot as he'd look bent over for you, it never lasts long, if it even gets to that in the first place, sorry.
Not even a mirror can fix his issue since he wants to see you, not himself. So when he's facing it so closely and directly, his eyes keep flitting to himself until he gets too self-conscious and shy to continue.
#ateez x reader#sub!ateez#ateez smut#ateez imagines#ateez reactions#ateez hard hours#ateez headcanons#ateez oneshots#ateez scenarios#ateez fanfic#sub!san#sub!hongjoong#sub!seonghwa#sub!jongho#sub!yunho#sub!mingi#sub!wooyoung#sub!yeosang
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Hi, do u think Leon is an affectionate dad, or not?
Mm, depends on which timeframe of Leon's life we're talking here! The simple answer is: yes, he's a huge people's person as he is, and that will definitely translate into his relationships with his loved ones. But outside factors and his overall mental state do play a big part into his way of interacting with them.
DI Leon and onwards is a massive affectionate goofball with his loved ones, obviously that very much includes his kid, too. He's that type of dad that embarasses his kids with lots of kisses, sappy nicknames (despite them being grown) and terrible dad jokes. I'd say that's him at his best and his most natural. He's playful, he's loving, and he's not afraid to show that off. He's the definition of a doting dad, basically. Even if he can't always be around for one reason or another. He's at a place in life where he's relatively at peace with his circumstances and just wants to make the best of what he has.
Damnation and RE6 era Leon's are a bit more reserved than that, but still soft and immensely loving. Not as playful as him at his DI era, but still more than capable of cracking a pun or two. This Leon is a dad that's not perfect, as sometimes he can be pretty distant, or say something that comes out wrong in a moment of frustration or hurt, but he sure tries his absolute best. And he does make his love for his kid known. Long, crushing hugs after his assignments, expensive gifts that are actually meaningful because he goes through the effort of listening to his kid when they talk to him about their life or interests, hurrying across the State to get to their big moments in school on time, even if he's late, panting and sweating buckets. He's not perfect, but he doesn't need to be. He makes mistakes and messes up, but it's hard to be upset with him when it's obvious that he's doing the best he can.
ID Leon, on the other hand, is complicated. Caring yet firm and distant in his affections. He tries his hardest to be the best dad he can be, but he struggles with being genuine. It's not because he doesn't care. The opposite. The last thing he wants is to taint his kid's life with his work and all the ugliness that comes with it. But because he tries so hard to keep them guarded from it, he can't help but keep his distance from them for their own sake. Because this darkness and ugliness is a part of him. He can't deny it or run from it. But he sure tries his hardest to do so. Much like he does with Claire, he will go against them in order to keep them safe. He won't argue, nor will he raise his voice, ever. Just silent acceptance for what must be done, at least in his own head. In a way, that would be even more frustrating for the child involved. Especially when their dad is so obviously hurting - both physically and mentally - but refuses to let them in. It all comes from a deep place of love, though. Not apathy. Even if it's not exactly healthy.
And Vendetta Leon, well... He has a lot of issues. I don't think he'd get angry or cold with his kid, no. He loves them way too much to do that. But he is so very disappointed in himself. In his helplessness, in his failures, in his life. How can he be a father his precious baby deserves when he seemingly can't save a single person? He is disgusted and ashamed with himself. And those feelings of self-hatred only worsen when he's drunk. Which is ironic, considering that he drinks to escape those very same feelings. He's too ashamed to see them. But I could also see him breaking down in front of his kid, too. Venting and laying it all bare with no expenses spared. It's not healthy on his part. He shouldn't be burdening a kid with something like this. But he's just too lost to try and fight it. It's not that Vendetta Leon isn't affectionate with his child. It's that he feels like he doesn't deserve to indulge in that affection. So, he closes himself off instead, denying himself what he truly wants and needs.
#resident evil#leon kennedy#leon scott kennedy#leon s kennedy#dad leon has become somewhat of a staple on this blog lmao#i have kind of a hard time picturing og re4 and re4r leons as dads so i didn't include them but#they are both very much affectionate in their own ways#just like every leon is
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watched gundam 00 and like idk what happened in those 50 eps but what i DO know is that lockon 1 and tieria were boyfriends and the only ship that mattered
#dust bunny#genuinely i was pretty lost for most of it#and then we suddenly got a bunch of ships in season 2#i was like?? i genuinely do not vibe with these tbh#my otp is lockon 1 and tieria lmaooo#i was so sad when lockon died i was actually sobbing so hard#that was the only moment i took seriously in all 50 eps#tbh i was watching whilst building pharact but still#most of them were annoying man...#gundam 00 spoilers#sorry forgot to tag
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Can anyone who knows Uglies explain what the hell changed that just 10 years ago it was considered great and groundbreaking and now I see nothing but people saying that it's dumb and uninspired and has no point or meaning?
#uglies#uglies series#actually tagging it because im genuinely curious i seriously do not get it#like ????? what#i havent read the books nor have i seen the movie btw. treat me like a 5 years old who has just stumbled upon the most incomprehensible#discourse#like from my position the premise seems pretty good so i dont really see why everyone is hating on it but perhaps the execution sucks?#which i wouldnt know because. again. i dont know anything.#all i know is that its a book series and a movie adaptation about the beauty industry and photoshop that poses the question#'what if instagram filters were real and mandatory because instagram baddies ruled the world and made everyone think they were#ugly and hideous and needed to be retouched to look sexy and hot and slay and if you werent sexy you lost your human rights'#which to me actually sounds great because i despise filters and retouching and beauty standards and i hope instagram burns in hell
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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.
I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...
I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.
#speculation nation#i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school#a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it#given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt#while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.
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Kusakabe, dear, you're too beautiful to be saying that kind of stuff
#jjk spoilers#All the prettiest characters were brought back from apparent death#Nobara was okay and it's true that when I read the lawyer's and Kusakabe's fights against Sukuna I thought it was being kept vague#but to pull a Nobara with all of them... idk#No one stays dead here except for the people who actually care for the kids and by that I mean 'including Yuuji'#kinda lowkey bitter about it#Don't get me wrong I like the characters and also they're super pretty but idk It makes death feel cheap? And the high stakes kinda fake?#Choso Gojo and Nanami actual only characters who died apparently#Well. Poor Itadori#And Kusukabe goes and runs his mouth that way in front of the kid. He is not entirely wrong but also he very much is#And yes he also says 'don't worry it's not for you to feel guilty over anything you're just kids' but also he did very much say that thing#about it all being Gojo's fault for not killing Itadori. In front of Itadori who feels guilty for that precisely#and in front of Megumi who asked Gojo to spare him and also went through the experience of Sukuna using his body as well#So Kusukabe's reassurance about them just being kids and not to feel guilty falls a bit empty#It does feel in character but man it truly makes one appreciate the way Gojo and Nanami dealt with the kids a lot more haha#Ui Ui seems like a dear#Anyway... this chapter felt a bit lame for the most part for me? I like the idea of the characters discussing the could have/would have#and feeling guilt and helplessness over their choices but the way it was done felt a bit lame and without any real emotional punch#It felt more like an explanation to the reader in an awkward way. And there's a lot of empty chat about guilt and grief#without any of the characters really giving off a grieving air about everything and everyone they've lost#And this is precisely what I felt was going to happen with this manga's writing haha#I truly don't understand this kind of writing choices. Contrary to some other shonen writers this author did seem to have the potential#to write this kind of thing well besides the worldbuilding and powers and fight stuff. It's truly a pity. It so breaks my heart#And still this is considered one of the good shonens. Well. WELL haha#I do think shonen can be good! I just think it falls almost always even when there's potential into bery shallow writing#I don't know. Maybe I should read that one Alchemist manga#I've been repeatedly told that one's good and it does seem like it doesn't do... this. But I find the art style so not to my linking#I wish I had never gotten into JJK for real for real. I absolutely adore it. I always end up frustrated. It could be so good. Genuinely good#And yet it's just okay in a sort of forgettable way. What a pity#Everything good ever is present but it never dares do anything to fully explore what it sets. It just does the typical shonen stuff
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Any judgement on [Richard III's] reign has to be seen as provisional. The critic of the reign only has to consider how the Tudors would now be regarded if Henry VII lost at Stoke, to realize the dangers of too many assumptions about the intractability of Richard’s problems. But it would be equally unrealistic to ignore Richard’s unpopularity altogether. The fact that he generated opposition among men with little material reason for dissent, and that the disaffection then continued to spread among his own associates, says something about what contemporaries regarded as the acceptable parameters of political behaviour. There is no doubt that Richard’s deposition of his nephews was profoundly shocking. To anyone who did not accept the pre-contract story, which was probably the majority of observers, the usurpation was an act of disloyalty. Gloucester, both as uncle and protector, was bound to uphold his nephew’s interests and his failure to do so was dishonourable. Of all medieval depositions, it was the only one which, with whatever justification, could most easily be seen as an act of naked self-aggrandizement.
It was also the first pre-emptive deposition in English history. This raised enormous problems. Deposition was always a last resort, even when it could be justified by the manifest failings of a corrupt or ineffective regime. How could one sanction its use as a first resort, to remove a king who had not only not done [nothing] wrong but had not yet done anything at all?
-Rosemary Horrox, Richard III: A Study of Service
#richard iii#my post#english history#Imo this is what really stands out to me the most about Richard's usurpation#By all accounts and precedents he really shouldn't have had a problem establishing himself as King#He was the de-facto King from the beginning (the king he usurped was done away with and in any case hadn't even ruled);#He was already well-known and respected in the Yorkist establishment (ie: he wasn't an 'outsider' or 'rival' or from another family branch)#and there was no question of 'ins VS outs' in the beginning of his reign because he initially offered to preserve the offices and positions#for almost all his brother's servants and councilors - merely with himself as their King instead#Richard himself doesn't seem to have actually expected any opposition to his rule and he was probably right in this expectation#Generally speaking the nobility and gentry were prepared to accept the de-facto king out of pragmatism and stability if nothing else#You see it pretty clearly in Henry VII's reign and Edward IV's reign (especially his second reign once the king he usurped was finally#done away with and he finally became the de-facto king in his own right)#I'm sure there were people who disliked both Edward and Henry for usurpations but that hardly matters -#their acceptance was pragmatic not personal#That's what makes the level of opposition to Richard so striking and startling#It came from the very people who should have by all accounts accepted his rule however resigned or hateful that acceptance was#But they instead turned decisively against him and were so opposed to his rule that they were prepared to support an exiled and obscure*#Lancastrian claimant who could offer them no manifest advantage rather than give up opposition when they believed the Princes were dead#It's like Horrox says -#The real question isn't why Richard lost at Bosworth; its why Richard had to face an army at all - an army that was *Yorkist* in motivation#He divided his own dynasty and that is THE defining aspect of his usurpation and his reign. Discussions on him are worthless without it#It really puts a question on what would have happened had he won Bosworth. I think he had a decent chance of success but at the same time#Pretenders would've turned up and they would have been far more dangerous with far more internal support than they had been for Henry#Again - this is what makes his usurpation so fascinating to me. I genuinely do find him interesting as a historical figure in some ways#But his fans instead fixate on a fictional version of him they've constructed in their heads instead#(*obscure from a practical perspective not a dynastic one)#queue
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Yes, I would be very interested hearing your head canon (@tim-ribbert-56) (in response to this post)
I have decided for my personal entertainment that Clarisse de Cagliostro is related to Lupin III, and here's why.
-pulls out Arsène Lupin's Wikipedia page-
In the novel La Comtesse de Cagliostro, a young Arsène Lupin (at the time going by the name Raoul d'Andrésy) was courting Clarisse d'Etigues, a young lady of a well-to-do family, and trying to win her hand, despite her father's disapproval.
Throughout the course of the novel, Lupin meets and falls in love with Joséphine Balsamo, aka the Countess of Cagliostro, and abandons Clarisse in favour of her. To clarify, Joséphine is not actually countess of anything, she is (or claims to be) a descendant of Giuseppe Balsamo aka the Count of Cagliostro (who was also count of jack shit), a famous conman from the 18th century.
Shenanigans ensue, which I will not go into in details on, but oh my god I am insane about Raoul and Joséphine, I want to dissect them and study them under a microscope. It turns out Joséphine aka Cagliostro is evil as fuck, Raoul/Lupin realizes that and goes back to Clarisse (whom he had previously abandoned like an old sock, I fucking hate this guy), marries her, and a few years later has her kid.
Unfortunately Clarisse dies in childbirth, and Joséphine, who was still around and very very pissed at Lupin (and jealous as hell of Clarisse whom, may I mention, had never personally antagonized her in any way whatsoever, Joséphine is just fucking bonkers). Joséphine also kidnaps Lupin and Clarisse's son, Jean, and raises him as her own son. (I have not yet read the following novel The revenge of Cagliostro so I don't really know what Jean's deal is, I just know he's an antagonist).
The following is my headcanon, based on these events. In the universe of Lupin III, Joséphine Balsamo was actually countess of the small kingdom of Cagliostro (maybe Giuseppe was count, maybe he conned his way into becoming count, maybe he bought the land and built a fake kingdom with a fake history, who knows).
After the events of The revenge of Cagliostro, Jean settles down in the country of Cagliostro, gets married, has a child, and that child will later have a daughter of their own, who they name Clarisse, after their late grandmother. Clarisse de Cagliostro, of Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro fame, would thus be the great-grand-daughter of Arsène Lupin, making her Lupin III's cousin/niece/whatever you call this specific degree of separation.
I am choosing to make Clarisse de Cagliostro a great-granddaughter of Arsène Lupin, rather than a granddaughter, because Arsène Lupin was very young when the events I described unfolded: he is 20 years old when he meets Clarisse d'Etigues and the whole Cagliostro debacle happens, and 25 by the time Jean is born. I'm assuming he had Lupin II much later in his life. So Jean and Lupin II (half-brothers) would have a significant difference in age, and so Jean's hypothetical child (grandchild of Arsène Lupin, so of the same generation of Lupin III) would be much older than Lupin III. Clarisse de Cagliostro is younger than him, maybe around the same age if you stretch it, so she's have to be a great-grandchild.
Now I need to read The revenge of Cagliostro and study Arsène Lupin's wikipedia page in more detail to determine when exactly Lupin II was born and who his mother was. And also where Albert's family branched out, because the fact that he's called D'Andrésy should theoretically place him as a descendant of Arsène Lupin's mother but not of Arsène Lupin himself; but Jean was also going by that last name, so who fucking knows.
No I am not insane I promise, I am just a gigantic nerd.
#i have very mixed feelings about Papy Lupin Original Flavour#cuz you see in the first books he was pretty much like his grandson#a charming little bastard; smug as hell but also charming enough to make up for it#like. an ego the size of the eiffel tower but it's highly deserved#if he robbed me i would just thank him#you wanna punch him in the face but like. lovingly#then around The Hollow Needle he started acting weird#and after that his ego grew into a god complex the size of the eiffel tower and he just lost all the charm#like. just a huge dick honestly.#i thought that was a logical evolution after (SPOILER FOR THE HOLLOW NEEDLE) his wife got brutally murdered in front of his eyes#mere HOURS after they got married and he gave up his whole career as a thief for her#which would be an understandable evolution#but no he's also retroactively an asshole in The Countess of Cagliostro which is a prequel#i guess leblanc just decided 'lupin's a dick now'#which sucks#but on the other hand it's very funny to kinda hate-read The Countess of Cagliostro#i was honestly rooting for Joséphine for most of the book#she is fucking insane which is exactly what raoul/lupin deserve#you know that Mountain Goats song 'no children' ?#'hand in unloveable hand; i hope you die i hope with both die'#or that post that says 'i don't ship them they're too toxic / well i hope they kill each other mid-fuck'#well that's me with them#just reading on to see how many more life-ruining decisions raoul can bodily throw himself at#also leblanc did joséphine dirty!!!!!!!!#LET MY GIRL BE EVIL FOR GOD'S SAKE#none of that 'her fragile feminine nature' and fainting after murdering someone because deep down she can't bear her own cruelty#what the fuck#let her be genuinely unhinged!! let her bash raoul's head in with a meat hammer!!!!#(yes that is something that she tried to do)#anyway. justice for Joséphine Balsamo. god forbid women do anything
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so is jannik your favorite player? i was under the impression it was matteo. sorry just curious 😅
hi friend! oh yeah that's a totally fair assumption fjfvjv yeah no it's jannik but matteo is a close second! (for wta it's aryna with ons and jasmine as close seconds. but jannik is like my #1 favorite player in general)
#maybe this is bc i have said more than once before that i'd root/want for matteo to win in a final against jan#and i do stand by that! like jannik is jannik to me i always want him to win BUT bc of how matteo's career went compared to jannik's (+ the#fact matteo is older) i'd take him winning a tournament over jannik pretty much any time#like. in a match that's early rounds i'm... a little more conflicted mostly bc as much as i love and have faith i matteo atm jannik is#just objectively more likely to go far in any tournament. so matteo beating him and then not winning the whole thing would kind of suck#bc i'd think “jannik could've won it all”. you know what i mean?#but like i still hold genuine hope in me that matteo could do it. always. so i WOULD be happy if he beat jannik#(or like. i'd be happy he won. not happy he beat jannik :/)#it's just if he did and then lost to someone else i'd want to cry for a week LMAO 😭#but anyway in a FINAL? no contest i would rather matteo wins it. at the moment at least#maybe that could change in the next years idk if like matteo gets really good again and wins like at least one slam lmao i'd be okay#with jannik beating him in a final again. OR if jannik won a shitton of slams and went for like a record???? but#let's not get ahead of ourselves here AND LET'S NOT JINX ANYTHING.#i'm talking too much but just to wrap it up: back in 2021 for example i'd have chosen jannik to win over matteo. definitely#bc their careers were on not exactly opposite trajectories as they are now but in a sense their 'roles' were switched#matteo was italy's number one and it was clear he was meant to win big things- so i thought well he's going to win a slam soon. i'd have#rooted for jannik to win as a sort of underdog in that scenario! now with matteo's career having taken a different direction due to injurie#he is not the favorite to win big tournaments anymore while jan most definitely is! so. matteo winning a trophy would mean more basically#that was way too long sorry gifbkhbm#yeah jan's my number one <3 he's the only one who's made me feel the same way roger did when i was younger and watching tennis :')#asks#anon
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Ok this is totally fix-it fic territory, just you're the only person I've seen who also doesn't love Eiffel's ending BUT What if after getting far enough away from whatever Cutter was using to block the dear listeners' abilities, Bob gives Eiffel his memory back. They have his brain almost completely copied after all. It would also be interesting to see him struggle with "would I really do THAT?" Like he just has such a hard time believing himself capable of growth and having positive impacts
oh, i honestly don't even think it's fix-it territory! i genuinely think he will regain his memory at some point; i think it makes narrative sense.
whether it's possible, with what the show sets up? the dear listeners are only invested insofar as it might impact the process, but, like you said, they could restore eiffel's memory. maybe even without active involvement. lovelace's blood was still working on eiffel (slowly, which might even make for a stronger case) a few days before the events of the finale, and memory is clearly a consideration in the 'pattern' of duplicates. maybe the regenerative properties apply to memory, too. and pryce scanned eiffel's brain back in ep 55, with the same kind of machine that was meant to instantly relay hilbert's memories back to canaveral; it's plausible there could be a backup.
... but even if none of that were the case! wolf 359 is a character drama, and what's important is what it says about eiffel. doug eiffel, who has spent so much of his life running from himself, whose character arc is about confronting and coming to terms with all of the people he's been, and his impact on the lives of the people he cares about. wiping his memory - if it's meant to be permanent - feels like a fulfillment of that wish, and it would be kind of. at odds with the themes of the show, when in every case it takes such a stance against attempted martyrdom. but as a set up for self-reflection and self-confrontation? i think it makes perfect sense, for someone who externalizes as much as eiffel does. i don't think restoring eiffel's memory is a cop out or fix-it any more than lovelace not actually dying is - it's not a tragic sacrifice, it's a narrative catalyst for character development. or, at least, that's how it makes sense to me.
i won't get too into the rest of my reasoning, since i know it gets long and it's mostly stuff i've talked about before, but! i do actually think the finale is a good narrative choice, i just feel differently about it than a lot of people seem to. maybe because the writers talk so much about their fondness for earned happy endings - that a happy ending is most impactful when you really think there won't be one - i just can't see wolf 359 as a tragedy. the simplified version: if "am i still doug eiffel?" is unanswered, then that's a whole set of unexplored themes. but if "am i still doug eiffel?" is a question with an answer - if the rest of the show, the repeated affirmation that other characters are who they decide they are despite their respective identity crises, the thematic context, "wanna find out together?", if all of that is the answer - then that final scene is an encapsulation and reaffirmation of the show itself. in my opinion, that makes for a really good ending.
#obviously i'm leaving a bunch of stuff out since i've talked about it before and it's impossible to cover all of it every time#and i will reiterate there's a distinction between. whether he's still eiffel. which i think is a pretty clear narrative yes#and whether he should get his memory back. which i also believe for overlapping but separate reasons.#but... you know!! thank you for asking. it's such a complicated topic but i do genuinely believe this makes the most narrative sense#and re: eiffel not believing in his own ability for growth. yes! exactly. i think it's notable that when he's listening to that early log#he first asks 'am i still that same person?' which is a very different question from 'am i still doug eiffel?'#the person in that log was doug eiffel. but not the same person. even before he lost his memory.#doug eiffel#wolf 359#w359#asks
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Sigh i hate being on yt
#vent#I said i was gonna make a 4k sub special. But quite frankly i get get myself to work on it#Im not fixated on sprunki as much. I still like it but my motivation is gone#My adhd has been rlly bad recently and im bouncing around like crazy#I never expected to get 4 thousand ppl to follow me. That's so many ppl#I missed when ppl didn't expect so much from me. I missed when ppl were ok with me only making an animation like. Once every 3 weeks at most#Missed when i didn't have so many eyes on me. This is so stressful#'dw im still working on the 4k subscriber special!' a fucking lie#Cuz i don't want ppl to hates me. I don't want to loose fans. And im pretty sure nobody cares ant sprunki anymore so i don't think its gonna#Get any attention anyways#Holds my head#I hate yt i hate what it's done to me. I wish i could go back in time and stop myself from uploading that stupid twiddlefinger animation#I HATE IT HERE IM SO TIRED. I.M LITERALLY JUST SOME GUY WHO LIKES TO ANIMATE. IM NOT UR ENTERTAINER#How do ppl deal with this. I hate it. I hate it i hate it i hate it. I would delete my channel if i didn't have a petrifying fear of#Having something of mine being lost media#I love all those who truly love my work. But those who expect me to upload stuff that they only like forever and ever is less than the#Number of genuine fans. I can't keep doing this. I might need a break again. Im spiraling again#Im sorry. Im so tired. I rlly am. I missed whenever i only had 600 subs.#Sigh. Ok im done#text#text post
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Mayta Knight 10-13
10 - Orb
can you tell i had 0 ideas for this one
11 - Flower
12 - Ocean
there was more to this but i haven’t decided how i feel about it
13 - Smash Bros
#text in notes !!#remember how i said i thought kirby looked weird in most of these#yeah. yeah#11 makes me laugh#because it feels like…a very moe thing to draw#and ive noticed i accidentally do this to him a lot lol#it makes me laugh every time i wish that was a joke because i genuinely. lost it for a minute last night#fuck you *moefies ur orb*#with how much of my life ive spent on love live pretty much every pose i come up with winds up being about cuteness#or looking cool#and im okay with it#Kirby#meta knight#bandanna waddle dee#bandee#sailor waddle dee#bandee crying might be my favorite drawing of him yet#poor thing…#kirbyposting#my art or something
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as much as a i understand and respect ace kiryu truthers, i really feel like kiryu is the type to really take the idea to heart that sex is something vulnerable and meaningful and thus reserved for someone completely trusted and special to him– someone who feels right. after years and years he’s still never legitimately voluntarily slept with someone, always tries to turn women away or is at least apathetic when they try to get physical with him, never feels that deep and specific bond with a woman– nothing compared to some of his bonds with other men throughout his life. and maybe, hopefully, one day it’ll hit him that there’s a pretty big, glaring reason why no women have ever felt “right” to him.
#I’ve become a pretty devout gay kiryu trigger at this point#it just. makes the most narrative sense / is the most narratively interesting / explains So Much#kiryu#yakuza#kazuma kiryu#honest to god though it’s. the most realistic way of explaining why he jumps to the assumption that he must date or kiss a woman or whatever#as soon as possible with little to no room to actually fall for one#with yumi he’s literally in the classic comp het situation of ‘well someone told me I’m in love with her so I guess I’m in love with her’#no deeper thought no proof of falling for her etc#sayama’s more convincing and they start out actually building a dynamic that could end up being romantic maybe- but then they fucking jump#the gun and have kiryu randomly kiss her like something he saw in a movie instead of. you know. talking about things first. or anything.#partly because they’re in a life or death situation and are essentially pushed together via traumabonding#and that’s Extreme when it comes to the end of kiwami 2. honestly that makeout scene was just. really weird and uncomfortable. for multiple#reasons. I mean for one he says something like ‘I’m sure she (haruka)’ll understand’ in between the making out in reference to him not#even trying to get further from the bomb or anything#and just lowkey choosing to kill himself (disturbingly similarly to nishiki mind you) like uh kiryu did you forget that haruka. literally#lost her mother in an extremely similar situation. in front of her. and nearly lost you at the same time. kiryu’s personality is Not one to#just shrug off something like that- either he was purposefully choosing to kill himself because he felt like a failure and that haruka would#genuinely be better off without him Or the writing there was INSANELY out of character as to make him seem more focused on the supposed#Romeo and Juliet tragic romance situation than saving his daughter the grief of losing EVERYONE CLOSE TO HER and reliving the worst night of#her fucking Life#god if anything the ending of yk2 just screams ‘this relationship would not work out under normal circumstances and both of them are just#clinging onto whatever’s closest out of desperation and need for any kind of emotional catharsis available’#if you can compare a pairing to romeo and juliet . it’s probably not#a pairing that’s meant to be#sorry im going off on a huge tangent about how weird the ending of yk2 was to me uhhh anyway I could write a video essay on why kiryu being#gay is the most realistic and interesting interpretation of him possible . send tweet
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