#like from my position the premise seems pretty good so i dont really see why everyone is hating on it but perhaps the execution sucks?

[featherymainffins]

Can anyone who knows Uglies explain what the hell changed that just 10 years ago it was considered great and groundbreaking and now I see nothing but people saying that it's dumb and uninspired and has no point or meaning?

[letteredlettered]

Do you have any complaints about HP canon, and if so, what are they? For example I know a lot of people really dont like that Draco didnt get a redemption arc, but your work seems to really thrive off of a close reading of canon Draco in a way I think a lot of fanfic just cant because hes like... a very bad person. Its made me wonder if you are very... canon positive? I guess? Or more positive than most, maybe.

I have too many complaints about HP canon to list in an ask, but I can try to list some of them. First I want to say that choosing to use canon to inform your fic has less to do with whether or not you like the canon and more to do with what you like or want from fanfic. If you don’t like that Draco wasn’t redeemed, you can write a fic that posits he is redeemed and so that canon doesn’t have to be dealt with. Or, you can write a fic that shows how he gets redeemed or deals with the fact of his redemption to show what canon could have been. I obviously prefer the latter style, though I respect anyone’s choice to write in the former style. I can’t say I always understand the former style, but I respect the fact that people want to do it and should if that’s what they want.

I will say that I’m not sure I’ve ever written a fic that’s fully canon compliant, and I can’t quite imagine wanting to. Most of my fics a response to canon--they’re about something that wasn’t in canon, that I wish was in canon; or they’re about something that wasn’t in canon, and I don’t want to be in canon, but I still want to be explored. I wish the MCU would actually deal with the responsibility of wielding outsized power of destruction, so I wrote MCU fics. I do not want Schitt’s Creek to deal with the darkness of David Rose’s trauma or past, but I was still interested in it, so I wrote darker SC fic. I love Star Trek TOS, but I want to see Kirk and Spock hook up, so I wrote TOS fic.

There are a few things where I like the canon just the way it is, so I don’t write fic for it. Rainbow Rowell’s Carry On series is just what I want. I don’t need to write fic.

Back to my complaints with HP canon, the major problem I had was a lot of set up without the follow-through I expected or desired. I discussed that in my tumblr posts about Ron and Ginny. The set up of the Harry Potter universe is rather black and white, which I appreciate--it’s easy to get invested; it’s easy to consume. You know who the good guys are right away, and there’s no more complication. LOTR is rather like that, and I love it. But then HP begins to deconstruct its premise--James Potter was good, but he wasn’t kind. Dumbledore was trying to stop Voldemort, but he wasn’t honest. Snape is a horrible person, but he’s trying to do the right thing. This is my favorite sort of story, the one that starts black and white--vampires are evil; the robots will kill us, and the Gems that didn’t rebel are the enemy. Then a vampire earns his soul, or you find out you’re a robot, or--well, actually I didn’t like where Stephen Universe really went with that, but you get the picture. The Harry Potter series began the process of turning its own premise inside out, but somewhere in Halfblood Prince, that got too hard, and things began to snap back to their original shape. Good is good, actually, and bad people will always be bad.

One example of this is the death of Voldemort. Harry is set up as a mirror to Voldemort. Their pasts are very similar. Harry even feels compassion for Voldemort. At several different points, Harry is faced with the fact that he has to kill Voldemort. But Harry never has to deal with killing Voldemort, or with making a decision to spare Voldemort. In the end, Voldemort causes his own end as a result of his own destructive tendencies. This makes me feel that the text is suggesting that Voldemort deserves death. The idea that anyone “deserves” death for bad things they’ve done is not something I believe in or ascribe to. But even if it is the argument the text wants to make--what was the point of showing us that Tom Riddle was lonely, hurt, feared, and probably mistreated? The point really appears to be to show that two boys can have the same background and one turns out good while the other turns out bad, because goodness is inherent to some people while evil is inherent to others. I find this conclusion abhorrent, but I feel the conclusion is ultimately borne out by plenty of other aspects of the HP books.

The other example is Draco’s lack of redemption. I do not think villains have to be redeemed. The world has proven that shitty people can remain shitty. I also appreciate stories that show us the humanity of shitty people. A story about someone who is faced with thier bad choices but continues to make bad choices because they’re too afraid to do otherwise can be a good story. But I guess with Draco, I felt like I saw enough of his inner turmoil to understand why his heart would change, but not a thorough explanation of why it wouldn’t. Combined with many other similar characterizations in HP canon, it just feels like more essentialism--bad people are bad, and that’s how it is. I don’t mean there’s no nuance--as I said, the series does begin to deconstruct its own premise; we even saw how the Trio could be shitty. But ultimately they make the right choices. The characters who make the wrong choices generally continue to make them, except for Snape and Dudley. My complaint with those two representing a change of heart is that we don’t get to see the actual painful process of what that looks like--Snape’s happens pre-canon and there is too little of Dudley to show what is going on in Dudley’s brain.

The last thing I absolutely hate about HP is a lot of the “bad” characters tend to be overweight or unappealing in appearance. It’s true that a lot of this might be Harry’s POV--maybe Snape actually is the sex god some fics make him out to be, and Harry just he’s greasy because he doesn’t like him, and maybe Harry doesn’t like a good hook nose (I do). Additionally, Lockhart is very pretty, and while I want to firmly stress that Draco is never describes as good-looking, he’s not really described as ugly, and I believe Narcissa is even described as beautiful. But the book isn’t written in close third-person Harry POV, and “pointy” isn’t very flattering. Unkind words and stereotypes are used throughout to highlight the badness or evil of almost all the characters we’re not “supposed to” like. The descriptions of the Dursleys in particular are upsetting.

In my opinion, the  above examples demonstrate a lack of compassion at the heart of the HP story. That’s what I’ve always hated about it and what always made me want to write about it. I want to write and say, “Look at this. This is fucked up. This is wrong.” Some people don’t read fic for that reason, and I think that’s fine. Plenty of those people really hate my fic, which is also fine. I know that many things in this world lack compassion, and I don’t spend years of my life writing fanfic about them. I think the reason I keep coming back is to me, the premise was unkind--which I was fine with, and then the text itself began to deconstruct itself--which I was overjoyed by. It made me fall in love with the series. But when the premise snapped back to an essentially black and white world, I felt betrayed.

In conclusion, I find HP at its very essence to be unkind. Ursula K Le Guin said it best when she said that it was “ethically rather mean-spirited.”

[readingaccountability]

snow crash - neal stephenson

my playlist (because of The Way That I Am)

final thoughts:

okay, im going to be honest right out of the gate- i cant decide whether this is a book id recommend or not. it was really fun for the most part, but personally there was a lot more exposition than id like. the early portions of the novel have exposition which feels completely fair, mostly things relating to worldbuilding. stephenson creates his own vision of future america, and some places online referred to it as cyberpunk, and some as post-cyberpunk. id be more in the latter camp, mostly due to the way he plays with tropes, leaving the reader unsure of which will be subverted and which wont.

the use of language was really fun, and i enjoyed the worldbuilding a lot. his vision of a futuristic capitalistic earth feels surreal in its immediacy and recognizability. the back jacket blurb ends with "a future america so bizarre, so outrageous, you'll recognize it immediately." which, yeah. a texan info-tech magnate? two competing corporations owning the highway system? suburban city-states? this was another enjoyable thing- everything was colorfully named, and names treated totally normally, which kind of poked fun at how we have everyday things named very ludicrously and for the most part we are totally blind to it.

one aspect i really enjoyed was that the author often doesn't make certain things clear to the audience, until he does, and then it becomes necessary to reassess the entire story and setting. this goes to underscore the theme of the importance of information and the ways we take it in and perceive the world based upon it. for example, we don't learn that y.t. is fifteen until maybe 75 pages in, at which point a lot makes sense in retrospect. the same thing occurs in the worldbuilding, as suddenly a detail is given in passing and the reader must incorporate it into the setting, which by default we assume to be similar in many ways to our idea of america. it keeps the reader on their toes as well as furthering the worldbuilding. for the most part, the tech stuff didnt feel outdated to me, despite being a future projected out from '92.

however, aspects of the book are definitely very 1992. id put these into two camps: the first, being that the book does at different times use slurs. the main character is black and asian, the n word is used a few times by racist side-character/antagonist types, as are a few other racial slurs. there was also the occasional usage of the r slur, within the narrative prose itself, rather than usage as an insult within dialogue.

the protagonist, who is named, unfortunately, hiro protagonist, is a great character and felt very fleshed out to me, though at times he reminded me more of dirk strider than normally would be ideal. (its obvious that stephenson and andrew hussie are of a similar type of writer, and play with similar tropes, lmao.) hiro is a man of many worlds. he seems to shift between them easily, though never fully existing in any of them. this is reflected in his background, both in his biracial identity and in having been raised on a myriad of army bases. this is layered further in his fluidity in interacting with both reality and the metaverse, yet remaining slightly, consistently aloof. fascinatingly the first moment i sensed this drop was when we meet juanita- aka where his real and meta realities coincide. the description of them as the adam and eve of the metaverse is both insanely romantic and thematically key (good god i wish we had more than like, two conversations between them). juanita designed the facial component to metaverse avatars, doing the majority of this work when the two were together, and hiro can see echoes of both their facial tics in the face of every avatar in the metaverse. in a way, by having done this work juanita is positioned by the narrative as one of the gods of this digital realm. she is also hiro's call to action, being aware of the coming trouble and alerting him to it, as well as connecting him to the informational database he needs to prepare.

y.t., the secondary protagonist, fucking ruled. i loved that she was just a fifteen year old punkass kid whose mom doesnt know how crazy this part time job is. y.t. being worried about her mom was a great thread throughout, and a really good balance to how obviously independent y.t. is. i do wish there had been a chance to explain more about her background (she has a dad who left who is mentioned in a throwaway sentence, and a boyfriend who is mentioned near the beginning but never again.) i really enjoyed how obviously hyperaware y.t. was at all times about her own place within the insanities of the setting, while also consistently writing her as a teen maybe in way too deep who thinks about things in typically teenage ways. but like, that wasn't ever held against her? the narrative meets her where she is. it was honestly awesome. HOWEVER,

i absolutely hated the raven and y.t. scenes. how creepy!!! he basically statutory rapes her!!! we know hes at least late 20s early 30s, because hes the same age as hiro. if this sort of content is upsetting to read for you, i definitely do NOT recommend this book. (if you want to avoid reading these bits: ch 47 y.t. meets raven, ch 50 they are in a bar eating, ch 52 things happen that result in y.t.'s anti-assault device activating- she did not activate it on purpose, but forgot it was there- and raven is knocked out.)

please PLEASE dont take any of the following analysis as like, trying to be apologetic towards this scenes. because again they were awful and hard to get through and really gross. but im also cognizant that the author was obviously trying to convey something by making the choice, like the way it was written is obviously not condoning this sort of thing.

i think maybe what stephenson was trying to get at with that, was that we see hiro internally negate any potential for anything untoward with y.t. basically immediately, since he kind of senses that she might have a small crush on him (though this doesnt last more than a fleeting moment, especially from her perspective). vs raven, whose 'poor impulse control' warning tattoo eventually elicits a sarcastic remark from hiro after he finds out raven and y.t. were "a thing". i really dont think hiro knew how far it went? like it was just suuuper weird, but i figured it was meant narratively to 1. execute the chekovs gun of y.t.'s anti-assault device, 2. contrast hiro and raven (especially considering the bike-racing argument where theyre telling the story together, which is supposed to parallel them, while contrasting the differences in how they ended up?), and 3. just to get raven unconscious, i guess. but good god it was weird and i hated every second of it, why couldnt the device have like, activated way earlier?? gah. fucking upsetting. moving past that!

honestly i was really frustrated by how little screentime juanita got, because the way she was introduced was so fucking interesting and then shes mostly off doing her own thing. the bits of explanation she gives at the end about what she was up to on the raft are so sparse and im like damn, can we get a little bit of her pov in here? please? that would have ruled. additionally, shes supposed to be hiros love interest, but we see so little of them interacting outside her intro scenes. a huge portion of why hiro is getting into the sumerian mythology is literally framed as something that will help him understand juanita, but we dont get to see him talk to her about it barely at all.

the supporting characters were quite fun, i particularly liked the librarian. big surprise, i liked the overly literal ai information-dispensor, lmfao. watching him and hiro interact reminded me SO hard of geordi laforge having honest to god conversations with the computer where he tries to coax information out of it, aka one of my favorite little aspects of tng.

and lastly, the major plot themes themselves. i adore the way stephenson approached action, it was very entertaining. usually i cant really visualize action scenes written out, but his use of language was really really effective and engaging. the plot itself was absolutely fascinating, though i found the premise pretty contrived. which isnt bad in itself, i was fully suspending my disbelief until the last hundred pages or so. which for a 550+ page book, isnt too bad.

i did like the approach of linking the ancient to the modern, that is always really neat. and i think ultimately stephenson did it in an interesting way, not how i would have done it, but definitely interesting! creating these ideas about information infrastructures, and there being words that can access those and be used to control people, was wild. not sure if i agree about the equating of religion to a virus, though he did specifically establish that it was more the approach to religion, than religion itself. (maybe if juanita had been more goddamn present in the narrative that could have been elaborated on a little more. literally her perspective would have been perfect in balancing that out!!)

ultimately what did me in was the very very very long winded MONOLOGUE where hiro re-explained the whole premise, in ways that didnt really neatly organize into a cohesive argument. a lot of the scenes where hiro talks to the librarian, which are interspersed throughout the book, are really exposition heavy, because stephenson is rooting his ideas in historical concepts that need to be explained to both hiro and the audience. and i thought all that was fine, because it was a conversation where hiro was grappling with the information, and he was figuring it out along with the reader, and most importantly it was a conversation between him and the librarian computer program.

howeverrr later on we get a full rehash of all that, where hiro makes clear some stuff that was just implied for the reader, and hes literally just telling these important men whats up in this big long monologue. utterly worthless. i kept reading it and going YEAH, we KNOW, we know this we know this. and the important men barely interjected. it added basically nothing to our understanding of the situation, other than reframing it. but everything added was already an implicit thing, and didnt really need to be said again.

the resolution to the book was stellar, the last 30-40 pages, once hiro is onto the raft, were great. ultimately after reading and giving some time to digest it, i think it was a solidly great book with a few big drawbacks near the end, but which dont carry through and sully the ending.

[akechicrimes]

I'm a brand new goroboy and have questions if you don't mind answering any of them 1. Was everything that Akechi said about the PTs being unjust a part of his detective act or did he really believe that changing hearts was bad prior to the engine room? 2. When did he first suspect the PTs? Did he figure them out immediately at the TV station or did he just become interested in Joker cuz he's gay and figured it out afterwards lol. Basically who sussed who out first? (1/2)

hello welcome!!!!!! we are happy to have u!!!!!!!! 

unfortunately we dont have concrete answers to a lot of these, but i will do my best!!!! these are some really excellent questions so i want to do them justice. and by do them justice, i mean theyre under a cut because it got really long lmfao.

thanks for the ask–this was really fun to write, instead of doing literally any of the work that i was supposed to.

1. Was everything that Akechi said about the PTs being unjust a part of his detective act or did he really believe that changing hearts was bad prior to the engine room?

SHORT ANSWER: we don’t know.

SLIGHTLY LONGER ANSWER: we can’t say for sure but there’s strong evidence that he was probably telling the truth, actually.

VERY LONG ANSWER: there’s strong evidence he both is and isn’t telling the truth in the TV studio scene, but with the qualifiers that (1) he never necessarily says theyre unjust, he says they’re dangerous. (2) he probably thinks the phantom thieves change hearts in the same way that he makes people go psychotic. (3) his sense of justice is basically entirely based on righting wrongs that have been committed against individuals, not what the law says. (also, when i say “individuals,” i mean himself.)

to the extent that he’s lying–he does say that they’re operating outside the law, and that they have unknown and apparently very effective power that cannot be stopped by traditional law enforcement. traditional justice says that if you operate outside the law, that makes you automatically bad. akechi is playing the part of someone who’s lawful good, so when he says, “they’re dangerous and operating outside the law,” he has to say, “that makes them unjust.”

to the extent that he’s telling the truth, that’s basically everything else he says. i do think those viewpoints are his own for a lot of reasons.

when he talks about the changes of heart, he makes it sound like it’s a thing that could just happen to anyone–even people who’ve done no wrong. when akira voices support for the PT, akechi argues back against akira to say “If [Ryuji’s] heart suddenly changed, wouldn’t you think it was the work of the Phantom Thieves?” like it could just happen to any random joe schmoe. he’s acting like someone could just one day change their entire attitude–possibly for the worse–resulting in terror amongst the population.

we have to keep in mind that at this point in time, akechi has no idea that you can steal treasure to change a person’s heart. he doesn’t even know treasure is a thing, let alone that you have to send a calling card to make it manifest. morgana is the person who knew all that stuff, and akechi definitely didnt have access to morgana when he started his hitman career.

so with the way that he’s talking about the changes of heart, i dont think he assumes that changes of heart always change the person for the better. he has no idea that it’s literally removing a person’s distorted desires. i’m like NINETY-FIVE PERCENT SURE that he thinks changes of heart operate in the same way that his psychotic abilities work: you cast a persona spell, and a person goes apeshit.

from his point of view, that’s kind of what’s happening. when akechi casts call of chaos, a person starts behaving in a way they never would under ordinary circumstances in the real world. the changes of heart really look exactly the same way to an outsider’s POV. and to akechi’s understanding, call of chaos can be cast on even good people. from the phantom thieves’ POV, only people who’re mega-dicks can have their hearts changed in the first place, because the requisite to have a palace is a certain level of distortion. (futaba, of course, proving that you don’t have to be a mega-dick to have a distortion, but the TV studio scene happens before futaba.)

akechi’s argument is that leaving that sort of power in just anyone’s hands is dangerous. because that’s a LOT of power for one person to have. akechi would know, considering that he’s in the same position. he’s wary of the fact that there’s no guarantee that that person will use it for good.

that, of course, brings us to the question of “well, what does akechi think ‘using power for good’ is in the first place?” does he think that the phantom thieves are using their powers for good? does he think he’s using his powers for good?

when asked why he seeks justice, akechi says: “Because of sickening human beings… Yes, my contempt for such people drives my sense of justice. It isn’t some grand reason like society’s sake or some lofty ideal. It’s simply an absurd grudge… and extremely personal.” 

the traditional, lawful-good way of thinking about justice is that if you operate outside the law, you’re automatically bad. but akechi’s sense of justice seems to be driven primarily from the hurts he’s suffered, the grudges he still bears, and his conviction that wrongs personally done against individuals should be righted. it’s an end-goal oriented sense of justice.

if wrong-doers are punished and the grudges are appeased, then justice is delivered. how that happens does not necessarily constitute justice. my best guess at this time is that he’d qualify a lot as “the ends justify the means,” since his concept of justice is end-goal oriented. 

of course, i think akechi definitely shows throughout the game that he knows that how you achieve those ends is… not irrelevant. i think his black mask outfit (and a bunch of other things he says) implies that he feels like he is a “villain” of sorts. he demonstrates feeling a type of way about killing okumura. he definitely knows that his actions are morally wrong under particular lenses. take a look at this section:

Akechi: Who cares? My targets were all doing the same damn thing in this eat or be eaten world. [referencing that all his victims were dicks who kind of deserved to get glocked]

Akechi: How is that any different from the Phantom Thieves?

Ann: We’re not murderers!

Akechi: (now looking kind of pissed) So what?! [launches into speil about how it’ll all be worth it when he exacts revenge on Shido]

obviously he knows that murder is morally indefensible. but i think he’s justified it to himself as either not so bad because he killed primarily corrupt people, and/or that it’d be worth it if he achieves revenge on shido. he’s doing some kind of weird karma cosmic-scale balancing of “how much can i get away with and still be able to call it justifiable and justice,” and it looks like his answer is “quite a fucking lot.”

ironically, this makes his views on justice fairly practical. rather than idealistically committed to some platonic edition of justice, he’s more of a “what do i need to do to get the goals i want achieved? what needs to happen to make sure that asshole abusers get what’s coming to them? what needs to happen to make sure that i get emotional closure?” the biggest issue with that is the danger of a Pyrrhic victory–the moment where the means so go far that the ends no longer justify them.

all of this is to say: when akechi is talking about the phantom thieves as potentially unjust, i dont think he has a problem with their methods. “methods” are like a knife–it’s about how you use it, and for what.

i think he knows that changing hearts, and turning people psychotic, is morally skeevy if your sense of justice is very puritanical, but his sense of justice isn’t puritanical. i think he’s wary of what they might be using their methods for. again: his big argument in the studio scene isnt necessarily that theyre unjust, only that they’re dangerous.

seriously, though–changing hearts is potentially a recipe for societal collapse if used the wrong way. imagine if the PT were more self-centered and they went the light yagami route with their new supernatural powers, maintaining peace and order through authoritarian fear. that is, actually, the entire premise of the P5 Vanilla Bad End, in which the PT enforce peace through relentlessly changing hearts and making people too terrified to keep committing crime. 

since his views on justice seem to be defined by what the end goal is, he’d have to know what those goals are before understanding if they’re “just” or “unjust”–which is probably why he keeps hounding akira for akira’s viewpoints on justice, tbh. the phantom thieves are only unjust if their end goal is unjust, not necessarily because of their methods. (see answer to question 2 for related/continued discussion.)

2. When did he first suspect the PTs? Did he figure them out immediately at the TV station or did he just become interested in Joker cuz he’s gay and figured it out afterwards lol. Basically who sussed who out first?

SHORT ANSWER: i pretty sure atlus expects us to believe that he figured it from even before the TV showing–he figured it out when he overheard ryuji saying “It’s not easy being phantom thieves” when they were in the hallway. it’s the same time and place where akechi did his famous pancake fuck-up.

SLIGHTLY LONGER ANSWER: the idea that akechi was just super horny for the guy who gave him shit on live TV and then realized that akira was a phantom thief later as a neat bonus is fuckign SENDING me.

VERY LONG ANSWER: because of the scene with ryuji, i’m pretty sure he knew that akira was a phantom thief, and also i’m half-convinced that he somehow got the TV host to specifically choose akira during the “ask the audience” portion of the show. it’s really too much of a coincidence. 

because of that, i think the other implication of the scene is that he wanted to see what akira was made of when he invited akira for a debate on live television, and was pleasantly surprised when akira had something very interesting to say on the topic of grey morality and achieving justice outside the law.

what’s interesting about that scene is that akechi becomes interested in akira regardless of what akira says about the phantom thieves. akira’s options are “They’re justice itself,” “They’re necessary,” and “They do more than the cops”–so it’s not like akira ever says that he dislikes the phantom thieves, but the level of support ranges and two of these imply a justification/reasoning for it. and then akechi fucking argues back on live television like this is some kind of debate, instead of a daytime talk show meant to distract bored housewives. 

like. akechi gets INTO it. justice is his THING. and here’s akira, who seems to be not only a metaverse user operating outside the law like akechi himself, but also has some pretty grey morality thoughts on what justice is and could be, also like akechi himself.

taking it as a given that he knows for a fact that akira is a phantom thief from the get-go, from even before the TV scene ever even happened, then akechi probably keeps hounding him because akechi’s interested in hearing akira’s reasons. he’s not fishing for evidence, since he already knows. this is very speculative, now, but my best guess is that he keeps hounding akira ever after this scene because he wants to compare notes, one vigilante to another, to hear how akira rationalizes his vigilante work as a type of justice. very possibly, he’s seeking reassurance to himself that his own actions are justifiable. (he certainly seems that way in P5R, especially when he wonders about if a “justice nobody wants” is really a true justice at all, or just someone being self-centered.)

so re: “did akechi figure him out or was he just gay,” the answer is. yes. akechi did figure him out, and also akira made him so intellectually horny on live television that he hounded the man down in public for follow-up dates. 

what a king.

3. Does Akechi have a Velvet Room? Does he experience rank ups with Joker and the game over stuff too? 

SHORT ANSWER: we don’t know. no, seriously, we have no idea.

SLIGHTLY LONGER ANSWER: i’ve seen compelling takes on him having his own velvet room, and i think it’s thematically very fascinating if akechi is quite literally akira’s counterpart in terms of cosmic chess pieces, but i would be surprised if he did. but again, seriously, since there’s no confirmation on the matter, i say akechi’s potential velvet room is fair game.

VERY LONG ANSWER: lore-wise, i’m betting no. akechi was yaldabaoth’s piece, while akira was philemon’s (if i’m remembering my lore correctly). philemon provides the velvet room to aid the people he chooses–yaldabaoth has no such deal. the only reason why yaldo was in the velvet room in the first place was because he wanted to fuck over philemon’s chosen trickster.

it’s the same logic for why someone like adachi wouldn’t have a velvet room: while souji/yu, namatame, and adachi were all given the power to go into the tv world by izanami, only souji/yu was selected by philemon to save the world from ruin, and was accordingly given the resources and aid to do so.

secondary bonus: the psychotic ability/call of chaos just removes a person’s bonds in their heart, which makes them behave as if they were crazy. it’s the exact opposite of joker’s ability to create bonds. yaldabaoth’s one gift to his chosen chess piece was to essentially undo the very social links that make akira strong. so again, i’d be shocked if akechi experiences things like ranking up, or any sort of velvet room/persona fusing mechanic.

personally i think the loki/robin hood divide just happened because he awoke to a persona twice. awakening to your persona just happens at moments of rebellion and strong resolve, and canonically even other persona-users “awaken” (sorta) twice when you max their social link. i’m betting that he just had two moments of resolve: one in which he wanted to be a hero of justice, and one in which he decided he was going to tear shido to the ground no matter how far into villainy he had to go.

but as always, it’s not like there’s a hard consensus on the matter. 

4. How did he kill the shadows of people who don’t have a palace? Does *everyone* have a shadow in mementos?

SHORT ANSWER: he probably kills them in mementos, and also i think we’re expected to believe that literally everyone has a shadow in mementos.

SLIGHTLY LONGER ANSWER: i’m almost certain that the mementos depths section of the game confirms that basically everyone’s shadows are in there somewhere, even if they’re just your average joe with no significant distortions. the palace ruler for that section is “the public,” and also we do see the shadows of palace rulers who’ve had their hearts changed in the mementos depths. so even if you’ve had your heart changed and are supposedly a perfectly good human being now, this evidently doesnt disqualify you for having a shadow in mementos.

VERY LONG ANSWER: morgana says that mementos is the collective distortion of everyone in the area, but not a lot more concretely than that. morgana also says that reality is fairly plastic and that reality is somewhat determined by how we perceive the world, so i think that we’re expected to believe that everyone has, to some degree, some level of distortion.

i could say that jungian theory, which is the theory that the persona series is based off of, says that everyone without exception has a shadow. but this seems a little bit of a doylist explanation. instead i’ll point to persona 3, in which people without shadows literally become comatose and apathetic husks of themselves. this is because having a shadow is actually a fairly important part of a person’s psyche, and not having one doesnt make you a good and perfect person, it makes you a nonfunctional vegetable incapable of cognitive thought.

so yeah, i’m pretty sure EVERYONE is in mementos. with the exception of the phantom thieves, because… i think we’re expected to believe that their personas are in some ways their shadows? but also their personas are like, real-life kinning mythological/fictional characters so hard that you bind them to your soul? frankly i’ve been confused about how shadows work ever since persona 5 had people’s eyes turn yellow when they go through their awakenings, since perosna 4 used to use that as a sign that the person was a shadow, so… maybe i have no idea what the fuck im talking about. LMFAO.

[somnilogical]

modular "ethics":

a wrong and two rights make a right

<<I've been known to cause outrage by suggesting that people who really care about something shouldn't have romantic relationships. Think what would happen if I dared to suggest that those people should also seriously consider getting castrated. That would be crazy! And who am I to suggest that basically everyone claiming to be doing good is faking it? Then people would feel bad about themselves. We can't have that!>>

https://squirrelinhell.blogspot.com/2018/02/men-have-women-are.html

previously i talked about an infohazard about altruism that seemed to fuck with grognor. it feels useful to pass by the dead and look at their lives and choices.

i dont think that castrating yourself is a good intervention for doing stuff you care about, like this is patchwork constraints for an unaligned optimizer. if you arent altruistically aligned from core values, castrating yourself wont make you more aligned.

the "altruists" having babies thing is actual insane and pasek is right about that. pretty much all of society will try and gaslight you about this the way sometimes people are gaslit about "i need to have sex with lots of attractive fems to keep up my moral so i can do super good stuff afterwards.". like if people want to do good for the world it will flow out as a continuous expression of value not some brent dill kind of deal that institutions like CFAR accepted until there was too much social pressure for them to maintain this facade.

the entire premise that morality is this modular thing and you can help set the utility function of an FAI while being a terrible person, is wrong. yet organizations like CFAR keep thinking it will work out for them:

<<We believe that Brent is fundamentally oriented towards helping people grow to be the best versions of themselves. In this way he is aligned with CFAR’s goals and strategy and should be seen as an ally.

  In particular, Brent is quite good at breaking out of standard social frames and making use of unconventional techniques and strategies. This includes things that have Chesterton’s fences attached, such as drug use, weird storytelling, etc. A lot of his aesthetic is dark, and this sometimes makes him come across as evil or machiavellian.

  Brent also embodies a rare kind of agency and sense of heroic responsibility. This has caused him to take the lead in certain events and be an important community hub and driver. The flip side of this is that because Brent is deeply insecure, he has to constantly fight urges to seize power and protect himself. It often takes costly signalling for him to trust that someone is an ally, and even then it’s shaky.

  Brent is a controversial figure, and disliked by many. This has led to him being attacked by many and held to a higher standard than most. In these ways his feelings of insecurity are justified. He also has had a hard life, including a traumatic childhood. Much of the reason people don’t like him comes from a kind of intuition or aesthetic feeling, rather than his actions per se.

  Brent’s attraction to women (in the opinion of the council) sometimes interferes with his good judgement. Brent knows that his judgement is sometimes flawed, and has often sought the help of others to check his actions. Whether or not this kind of social binding is successful is not obvious.>>

https://pastebin.com/fzwYfDNq

<<AnnaSalamon 2/6/09, 5:54 AM

Aleksei, I don’t know what you think about the current existential risks situation, but that situation changed me in the direction of your comment. I used to think that to have a good impact on the world, you had to be an intrinsically good person. I used to think that the day to day manner in which I treated the people around me, the details of my motives and self-knowledge, etc. just naturally served as an indicator for the positive impact I did or didn’t have on global goodness.

(It was a dumb thing to think, maintained by an elaborate network of rationalizations that I thought of as virtuous, much the way many people think of their political “beliefs”/clothes as virtuous. My beliefs were also maintained by not bothering to take an actually careful look either at global catastrophic risks or even at the details of e.g. global poverty. But my impression is that it’s fairly common to just suppose that our intuitive moral self-evaluations (or others’ evaluations of how good of people we are) map tolerably well onto actual good consequences.)

Anyhow: now, it looks to me as though most of those “good people”, living intrinsically worthwhile lives, aren’t contributing squat to global goodness compared to what they could contribute if they spent even a small fraction of their time/money on a serious attempt to shut up and multiply. The network of moral intuitions I grew up in is… not exactly worthless; it does help with intrinsically worthwhile lives, and, more to the point, with the details of how to actually build the kinds of reasonable human relationships that you need for parts of the “shut up and multiply”-motivated efforts to work… but, for most people, it’s basically not very connected to how much good they do or don’t do in the world. If you like, this is good news: for a ridiculously small sum of effort (e.g., a $500 donation to SIAI; the earning power of seven ten-thousandths of your life if you earn the US minimum wage), you can do more expected-good than perhaps 99.9% of Earth’s population. (You may be able to do still more expected-good by taking that time and thinking carefully about what most impacts global goodness and whether anyone’s doing it.)>>

https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/4pov2tL6SEC23wrkq/epilogue-atonement-8-8

like opposing this isnt self-denying moral aestheticism or a signalling game of how good you can look (credibly signalling virtue is actually a good thing, i wish more people did it by for instance demonstrating how they win in a way that wouldnt work if they werent aligned. whose power seeded from their alignment.). its like... the alternative where people do things that it makes no sense for an altruist to do and then say that when they go to their day jobs they are super duper altruistic they swear; compartmentalizing in this way ...doesnt actually work.

people who want to obscure what altruism looks like will claim that this is moving around a social schelling point for who is to be ostracized. and that altruism as a characteristic of a brain isnt a cluster-in-reality that you can talk about. because it will be coopted by malicious actors as a laser to unjustly zap people with. these people are wrong.

both EA and CFAR are premised on some sort of CDT modular morality working. it is actually pretending to do CDT optimization because like with brent at each timestep they are pretending to think "how can we optimize utility moving forward?" (really i suspect they are just straight up mindcontrolled by brent, finding ways to serve their master because they used force and the people at CFAR were bad at decision theory) instead of seeking to be agents such that brent when brents plans to predate on people ran through them, he would model it as more trouble than it was worth and wouldnt do this in the first place.

CFAR and EA will do things like allowing someone to predate on women because they are "insightful" or creating a social reality where people with genetic biases who personally devote massive amounts of time and money to babies who happen to be genetically related to them and then in their day job act "altruistically". as long as it all adds up to net positive, its okay right?

but thats not how it works and structures built off of this are utterly insufficient to bring eutopia to sentient life. in just the same way that "scientists" who when they arent at their day jobs are theists are an utterly insufficient to bring eutopia to sentient life.

<<Maybe we can beat the proverb—be rational in our personal lives, not just our professional lives. We shouldn’t let a mere proverb stop us: “A witty saying proves nothing,” as Voltaire said. Maybe we can do better, if we study enough probability theory to know why the rules work, and enough experimental psychology to see how they apply in real-world cases—if we can learn to look at the water. An ambition like that lacks the comfortable modesty of being able to confess that, outside your specialty, you’re no better than anyone else. But if our theories of rationality don’t generalize to everyday life, we’re doing something wrong. It’s not a different universe inside and outside the laboratory.>>

--

to save the world it doesnt help to castrate yourself and make extra super sure not to have babies. people's values are already what they are, their choices have already been made. these sort of ad-hoc patches are what wrangling an unaligned agent looks like. and the output of an unaligned agent with a bunch of patches, isnt worth much. would you delegate important tasks to an unaligned AI that was patched up after each time it gave a bad output?

it does mean that if after they know about the world and what they can do, people still say that they specifically should have babies, i mark them as having a kind of damage and route around them.

someone not having babies doesnt automatically mark them as someone id pour optimization energy into expecting it to combine towards good ends. the metrics i use are cryptographically secure from being goodharted. so i can talk openly about traits i use to discern between people without worrying about people reading about this and using it to gum up my epistemics.

[georgialouisea]

Meant To Be - Part 9

Pairing - Jared x Reader, Jensen x Sister Reader. Word count -1079 Warnings - Fluff, swearing.

Part 8 - Masterlist

Life in Vancouver was amazing, life with Jared was beyond amazing.

Ever since you were little you’d hated being the one singled out, you hated being the new girl, moving school or getting a new job was your idea of hell. The girls at supernatural made you feel at home, they were honestly the nicest girls you’d ever met, they didn’t seem to care that your brother was one of the stars of the show.

“Did you manage to get that email out?” Jo asked shutting off her computer.

“Shit no, completely forgot.”

“Want me to stay and help?” She paused at your desk on the way out.

“No, it’s fine, I have the details written down somewhere, get home to your boyfriend.”

“Don’t you have to get home to yours?” She perched on the corner of your desk smirking down at you. You’d only ever given her and Lizzie small details and they were more than intrigued.

“He’s working late today, so I’m fine, go home and enjoy your date night.”

“You sure?”

“Positive Jo, go enjoy your weekend I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Enjoy your weekend Y/N.”

“You too JO.” Watching her leave the room your attention turned back to your screen.

“Y/N/N?” Jared whispered from the doorway behind you. “You ready to go home?”

Turning to face him your eyes adjusted to the lighting change. “What?”

“You done?”

“Give me like five minutes.” Turning back to the screen you finished up the email you should’ve sent 6 hours ago, trying to ignore Jared spinning himself around in a chair behind you. “Okay done.” Shutting down your computer you could finally head home with Jared.

--

“Baby?” Jared mumbled as he shifted on the couch.

“Yeah?” Looking up at him he paled slightly.

He sat up straighter. “Okay, I haven’t told you this yet but on Thursday I’m gonna be on Ellen.”

“Jare that’s amazing.”

“You might not think that in a few minutes.”

“Why?”

“You love me right?” He paused, nodding in response he smiled at you. “I want to tell everyone I am in love with the most beautiful, amazing, smartest, funniest woman I know, that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I love you.”

Nodding you smiled up at him. “Okay, yeah, we’ll go official.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m one million percent sure Padalecki.”

“Oh thank God.” His head dropped. “I thought you’d say no.”

“Why? When I love you.”

“I didn’t think you’d want people to know yet.”

“Jare, I’m tired of sneaking around trying to hide our relationship, let’s just tell everyone.”

“You’re sure?”

“So sure.” His arms wrapped around you.

“You’re happy with me announcing it on the Ellen show?”

“Yeah, I am, you have an interview and if you really want to talk about me it’s up to you.”

“I would talk about you every second of every day if I could.”

-

Jared’s flight back to LA was delayed due to bad weather, he’d planned to be home hours before his interview was aired. A knock at the door pulled your attention from the cereal advert, praying by some miracle it was Jared, opening the door Jensen stood in front of you.

“Why’re you here?”

“Because.” He took a step into your apartment closing the door behind himself. “I know what you’re like and as soon as people know you’re going to panic and Jared’s still in the air, so I’m here and we’re gonna watch it together.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the couch.

“Mr Jared Padalecki!” Ellen introduced as the audience clapped and cheered.

Biting your lip you tried to suppress the smile as he waved at the audience.

“How are you?” Ellen asked as she sat opposite him.

“I’m great, how are you?”

Ellen nodded with a smile. “I’m good, you’re living up in Vancouver now aren’t you?”

“Yeah I am, it’s a lot colder up there than it is here in LA.”

“You’re up there filming for the new show Supernatural right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I am.”

“So tell us what the show’s about.”

You watched Jared explain the premise of the show adding in little stories of his time on set with Jensen.

“Do you two get on well?”

“Yeah, we do, we’re both from Texas, we watch the same shows, listen to the same music, it’s been easy to get to know him.

“So it’s not uncomfortable playing his brother?”

“Nope, he already is like a brother to me.”

“That’s good to hear, now I have to ask, you’re a very attractive young man.” The audience whooped. “Alright.” She waved a hand trying to calm the women down as Jared chuckled. “Are you seeing anyone?”

Jared blushed, his head dropped trying to hide it. “I am actually, we’ve been together for nearly a year now, she’s amazing.”

“Will we know who she is? A fellow actor?”

“No actually she’s not an actress, she works on set behind the scene in the admin department, she’s so smart half the stuff she does I’d have no idea how to do.”

“Is she watching?”

“Yeah, she’ll be watching with Jensen.”

“Oh have they become close too?” She asked with a furrowed brow.

“No, well they’ve always been close, Y/N is Jensen’s sister.”

“Oh wow, is he okay with you dating his sister?”

“Yeah, I mean he’s said if I hurt her he’ll rip my lungs out.”

Ellen chuckled moving on with the interview.

“That wasn’t painful was it?” Jensen smiled down at you. “You okay?”

“Yeah everyone knows, everyone loves you on set this isn’t going to change anyone's opinion of you trust me.”

“I know.”

The front door opened behind you. “Hey.” Jared walked in dropping his bag by the door. “Have you seen it yet?”

“Yeah, we have.”

He walked around the couch to face you. “And are we still together?”

“Of course we are, why wouldn’t we be?” Looking up at him you punched Jensen’s thigh making him move up the couch so Jared could sit next to you.

“I haven’t seen it yet, I can’t remember what I said, I could’ve said something stupid.”

“Everything you said was perfect.”

Jared’s arm wrapped around you. “Good.” He took a shaky breath. “Good.”

“Were you actually worried that I’d leave you?”

“No.” He scoffed.

“There’s only one issue now.” Jensen sighed.

“Which is?”

“When Jared’s found with his lungs ripped out they’ll know I’ve done it.”

Part 10

Forever Taglist - 

@mega-loser1298 @smalltowndivaj @roxyspearing @emoryhemsworth @dwgrl1903 @cassieraider @mirandaaustin93 @mogaruke @heyitscam99 @mouselovesmusic @supernaturaldean67 @atc74 @witchofenoch @malindacath @skathan-omaha @ain-t-bovvered @beffyblueeyes @unicorn-sparkles123 @serienjunkiegirl @jchona @polina-93 @thefangirlliveson @rhochradel @juanitadiann @amandamdiehl @dixonsunicorn @deanzeppeloin @katieelementarymydearwatsonme @atlas-of-the-world @spnbaby-67 @chelsea072498 @dean-winchesters-bacon @racheo91 @mrswhozeewhatsis @death-unbecomes-you @brewsthespirit-blog @shann-the-artist-moon @team-free-will-you-idjits-67 @claitynroberts @spnwoman @angelsandwinchesters @smoothdogsgirl @cdwmtjb8 @perkypolarbear @thisismysecrethappyplace @tatertot1097 @jessieray98 @curly-haired-disaster @gh0stgurl @starfirerules @kcrews74 @calaofnoldor @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @screechingartisancashbailiff @malindacath @kolelondon24 @natura1phenomenon @thehufflepuffblog @lemondropirwin @babypink224221 @mariekoukie6661 @mymysosa @blackcherrywhiskey @lonely-skys @titty-teetee @foreverwayward @81mysteriouslyme @x-waywardaf-x  @blueberrykushlovexoxo-blog @paintballkid711

Meant to be -

@gh0stgurl @witch-of-letters @oneshoeshort @samuelwillliamwinchester @love-nakamura @spn-obession @holylulusworld @wayward-gypsy @heythereamigodude @rainbowkisses31 @deangirl7695 @traceyaudette @winchesterprincessbride @vickiq9761 @cdwmtjb8 @samsgirl93 @love-my-not-natural-babies @gloriousartisanfancreator @me-han10 @pretty-fortune @jamielea81 @the-is13 @kit-kat-katie99 @imaginationisgrowth @bitchwhytho @deansgirl79

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 5

LAST TIME ON SINGY WINGY

ANGRY GREMLIN BEAT UP GOOD BY SUICIDE MOVE SURVIVE BLUE BIRD YES. BLUE BIRD GO TO HOSPITAL FOR WATER METAPHOR WITH AFTERLIFE GIRLFRIEND. TINY BIRD SAD, BUT THEN NOT GET SAD! JACKIE CHAN TIME AFTER MUCH THINKING. WIFE WORRIED ABOUT THINGS. SOMETHING SOMETHING PUNCH GOOD NOW.

Let us continue.

Miku wakes up to see her wife has run off yet again. This is the part of the Sam Reimi’s Spiderman franchise phase where the Mary Jane (not weed) begins having a rockier relationship with Peter Parker (not slang for penis) due to lack of availability.

It’s contrived.

It’s almost impressive that she left a note and had time to draw a tiny Hibiki saying something in a bubble. Glad to see you have your priorities straight, Hibiki.

“you know she might have had a better time in the local art school that doodle aint half bad”

Hibiki is motherfucking Rocky all up in this.

She’s going to kick some ass and nobody’s getting in the way.

“YOU’RE GONNA EAT LIGHTING AND YOU’RE GONNA CRRRRRAP THUNDER TACHIBANAAAAA”

“THAT’S A DIET I CAN GET BEHIND”

I wasn’t joking when I said she’s not fucking around anymore. Did you think I was joking? I can see how you can get the impression given the first few episodes, but I really can’t emphasize the thoroughness of the ass kicking she is going to be capable of.

“MY FATHERLY ENERGIES ARE WORKING! ADOPTERS ANONYMOUS WAS WRONG AFTER ALL!”

That’s totally not ominous in the slightest.

Meanwhile, in the middle of an unnamed McMansion in the middle of who knows where...

Gratuitously spoken English is heard. To be fair, it’s actually really impressive pronunciation coming from people whose native language are systemically different to ours. Most shows would just settle for “this dude is actually speaking english but everything is said in japanese for better interpretation” but not Symphogear! No siree!

Relic business is afoot.

We have a random blonde lady shooting random Noise from the thing The Gremlin had in her hands.

She’s really trying her best with her accent. She’s also casually shooting Noise because let’s face it, would we not do the same if it were in our hands?

“i do whatever i want with my big stiff rod pal”

Also, she’s a nudist. To also be fair, if you lived in a fuckoff rich McMansion with weapons beyond your comprehension, you likely couldn’t help but walk around naked doing whatever the fuck you want.

The people she’s talking to are the Americans, which we explained before are portrayed strictly in an antagonistic light. They want some relics, and this lady clearly deals them like like some sort of glorified drug dealer.

Suffice it to say, she’s not a very nice person.

Also, the subs don’t match what they’re saying in English in the slightest.

The name of this woman... is Fine (pronounced fi-neh). And she is the main antagonist of this series.

Fucking identical.

And here is the most unpleasant scene in the entire season.

The person we’ve repeatedly alluded to as The Gremlin is called Yukine Chris. She serves Fine in whatever the hell they’re up to right now. In this case, it’s using the Nehushtan armor to run around with Solomon’s Cane to throw Noise around the city.

“shits gonna get real abusive, pal”

Fine is a narcissistic sociopath. She’s manipulated Chris into servitude by believing she is the only one that can pave humanity into salvation.

“i dont like that smile”

Chris thinks Fine can secure her deepest wish. Ironically? It’s world peace.

“yeah! yeah yeah, world peace, yeah, totally. just treat me like jesus and we’re gucci”

Anyway, she proceeds to thoroughly shock Chris.

The lore behind this is that this is helping her resistance with dealing with the physical demands of the Nehushtan armor, as well as deal with the pieces of Nehushtan that may be still inside. Let’s be real, though. Fine’s a sadist, and just likes hurting people willy nilly.

“fuck... that hurt like shit... hey wait... wouldnt some of the electrical arcs hit you and shock you too, given you’re so naked and close to all this...?”

“ya nevermind that food looks real nice and i want a piece of that fuckin turkey”

It’s a real creepy scene, and it cements Fine’s horribleness really well. One of the most pivotal things to take note is that Fine says that people can only communicate with each other universally through pain. Strong, terrible BDSM overtones notwithstanding, this will be a common (though varying in quality) motif of the entire series.

“BITCH YOU THOUGHT WE WAS GUNNA EAT AFTER THAT FUCKIN’ WISECRACK ABOUT GETTING SHOCKED LIKE YOU’RE EVEN FUCKIN’ NIKOLAI TESLA ALL UP IN HERE WE’RE GONNA ELECTRIC SLIDE YOUR ASS TO NEXT WEEK”

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK”

“WHERE THE FUUUUUUUCK IS HIBIKI?!”

“i was gonna invite her to the circus with the rest of the class ‘cause i felt bad about how i treated her but i guess she’s not here”

“the only clown im interested in is hibiki, in the carnival tent of my own bedroom”

“isn’t being a part of /fit/ great, hibiki? can you just feel the gains?”

“yeah who needs doting wife based significant others when you have your gym bros, right newly acquired father figure?”

Hibiki, having acquired a new brain cell during her training, asks the million dollar question:

“Why the fuck are we relying on schoolgirls to deal with all this stuff?”

“anime just be that way, hibiki. i’m just the wrong protagonist in the wrong show.”

Japan is super big on keeping the Symphogear a secret because they are strong and the world really, really wants a slice of the Symphogear pie. These people are basically walking super-weapons. Tsubasa literally dropped a sword the size of a skyscraper. It’s like the premise of the series of Iron Man films.

“do i get like a superhero name too or”

Something to wrap your head around. This was released around 2012, and while the setting seems to be slightly more futuristic, the world it was made in at the time had not been through the era of social media/smartphones we have right now. It was on the cusp of doing so, which means the idea of decent (yet vertical) amateur footage of things happening wasn’t something in the mainstream yet. Why do I say this?

Because in Symphogear, the fact that Symphogear exist is the biggest open secret in this unidentified city ever. NDAs are passed like hotcakes to keep people’s mouths shut on seeing monster-fighting singing superheroes. And they sing, too! Symphogears as an entity are the most high-profile fighting agents out there. Bright colors, no masks, constant singing, fighting in broad daylight in populated areas. Everybody knows, but no one says a word.

Which means every politician on the face of Japan hates these idiots, but they’re stuck with them out of sheer necessity.

“i swear to god if you bring up sam reimi’s spiderman one more goddamned time”

“look it’s the truth, all anime comes back to sam reimi’s spiderman. fate zero did it. uhhh, fucking...baccano, probably? now us. face it. its pretty much the bible.”

It’s also pointed out that the very concept of a Symphogear is born from a science that didn’t exist, and it probably contributes to political frustration as well.

“im going to microwave all your sam reimi spiderman dvds. im gonna do it. you try me, motherfucker. i didnt go into acting and get into this position to hear lectures about a decades old film franchise nobody cares about anymore.”

“can we stop fighting about the validity of sam reimi’s spiderman for five seconds and get back to helping me thing of a dope as hell superhero name? now, lemme lay one on you: Mister Fister”

Hibiki asks where Code Ryoko is.

“any answer besides Not Here works”

“oh, she left to talk to the americans, why?”

“huh, shes sorta late, actually”

“WHY A BAD BITCH LIKE ME GOTTA GET STUCK IN TRAFFIC LIKE THIS”

In the mother of all Mom Vans, no less.

MEANWHILE... IN METAPHOR LIMBO...

Tsubasa has reached the sea floor of the water metaphor dimension surrounded by water, which is her feelings, which are very gay. Imagine the Mariana Trench but like, deeper. Way deeper. That’s where Tsubasa is.

Leave it to Kazanari “I am literally a sword” Tsubasa to successfully spin the very act of surviving a suicidal move during combat as a failure. That’s a special kind of self loathing right there.

“the sheer force of my love for big ladies is keeping me alive”

Tsubasa asks about the point of Kanade’s sacrifice. Why’d she do it? Why was she so hungry at the end?

She personally shows up to answer that question, because that’s Kanade for you.

“being badass is cool, but you know whats cooler? caring.”

“sharing the sauce... you... you shared the sauce...”

“thats right, tsubasa. i wanted to protect the sauce, but... ultimately... sharing it was better. it wasn’t my sauce, tsubasa. it was everyone’s...”

“im gonna suck on a ketchup packet in your memory, tsubasa”

Kanade’s spirit pulls her out of the dimension of water metaphors as she is slowly undrowning from her emotions.

Tsubasa, like Kanade, was lost in the sauce. But now, after Kanade’s touching peptalk, Tsubasa is lost no longer.

“will i ever see you again in my dreams, kanade...?”

“where there’s a sauce. i’ll be there.”

“ill eat taco bell every day just to see you again kanade”

“and i dont even like taco bell... im more of a chipotle girl...”

After accepting Taco Bell as her lord and savior, she is immediately pulled out of the metaphor zone.

And wakes the fuck up.

“b..... b..... b............”

“Baja Blast....”

[missjackil]

SPN Did Something Pretty Amazing

One thing I have always liked about Supenatural, is that theyre willing to try things no other shows have done. Most of the time it works, sometimes it doesnt, but theyre not affraid to think outside the box. Things like having a cross-over with Scooby Doo, or episodes like The French Mistake, or Fan Fiction, are great, though theyre doable only because of the premise of the show. In the supernatural world, nothing is impossible. The heros die and come back a lot, old characters come back in various ways, in dreams, time travel, or even as the same character, and this is ok because again, in the supernatural world nothing is impossible. However, this newest amazing thing, at its core, didnt come to pass because of supenatural influence, but because of human actions, and viewer acceptance.  Two brothers and their Angel buddy, adopt an adult orphan son.  Think about that. What show has ever done such a thing? None. In similar cases, like 3 Men and a Baby, Full House, Two and a half Men, there is one defined Father, and then the other men are uncles or support for the one father. But not on SPN, all 3 have been defined as this kid’s father, even though none of them are biologically his father. Even before Luficer died, we saw this beginning. And even stranger still, there were always strong efforts to keep Jack away from his biological father, which is also not a common practice. When dealing with an older child, theres always a “let them chose” clause. But thats never really been the case on SPN, it was always “Keep Lucifer away from this kid” and justifiably so, I might add, but its still strange for TV isnt it? Yet, somehow this all worked. Now, this isnt a debate on who deserves to be Jacks main father, which would obviously be Sam but to just talk about how the show managed to make this happen and be completely accepted by the viewers. 

I work with several SPN fans, though Im the only one who wouldnt really be considered a casual viewer, meaning Im the only obssessed one LOL but the others arent involved in SPN SM on tumblr or twitter, they dont go to conventions and none of them are into shipping. (thats right, it seems most casual viewers dont ship the characters) yet all of them think its cool that Sam, Dean and Cas are Jack’s fathers, none of them think its creepy, incestuous, or gay. One did joke that it sounded like the synopsis of a very bad porno, (2 brothers, and their buddy take in a young adult orphan as their own) but then said that its a very cool concept.  What I think made it work, is everything thats gone down in the last 13 years. I dont care if youre a wincest shipper or not, but theres no closer relationship on the show than Sam and Dean. We know now they are “stuck” with each other, they wont be finding a significant other and building their own family, and even in the end, they’ll be together. Be it on Earth, in Heaven, Hell or the Empty. Also, they have no closer companion than Cas. Whether or not you like the character, canonically, Cas is their best friend that they love as a brother.  Since the show revolves around family dynamics, good ones and bad ones, we’ve seen Sam and Dean in every position. As brothers, sons, cousins, friends, and even as husbands breifly to Lisa and Amelia. we never really got to see them as fathers. The show could have remedied this by having one of their ex girlfriends show up with a kid “Surprize!!” but Im glad they didnt. This would automatically put one brother in the position of Dad, and the other as Uncle and Cas is just that buddy in the trench coat. The way it was done, put all 3 men in a fatherly position that developed over different time lines and circumstances.  Im going to try to break this down in an unbias manner. We can all feel free to disagree with the outcome, but its how the show itself unfolded this little highly unorthodox family. Cas was the one appointed to be Jack’s father. Kelly gave this duty to him when she decided to allow herself to die to let her son be born, and Cas accepted. So it looked as though Cas would be this boy’s father, but as it was, Cas was dead when Jack was born.  Sam came to the plate next. His relationship developed organically with Jack. Some may not have seen it coming, but Sam was determined long before Jack was born, to NOT kill him, but to try to let him be born without the worry that he would be evil. When it was apparent they couldnt take his grace and make him human, Sam knew it didnt mean Jack HAD to be evil. Sam took the role as mentor right away. Caring for Jack and having genuine compassion for him. We were given the hint Sam felt fatherly when they showed him reading a parenting book. (my god that was the cutest thing) So the writers flipped the script and gave Sam a head start in the father field. Also, with Sam being first, it added this layer of beauty, because Sam fell in paternal love with the son of his torturer. He wasnt enlisted, or pushed, it just happened, and thats beautiful. Dean came last, and as a story teller, I can see why they chose this route. It had been established since S1 that Dean is good with kids and naturally paternal. To have him be the first “father” would leave Cas and Sam on unlevel ground through lack of experience. For Dean to follow up second from Cas, would make it too shippy, and Sam would probably never make it out from under the  “uncle” title. and wouldnt we always wonder if Sam held a little resentment inside? Jack being the son of Lucifer for starters, and Dean taking him in as a son? Over the seasons, Sam has made it very clear, he never wants to be #2 in Dean’s eyes, and this could bring around some bad brother drama.  Dean starts off hating Jack. Indeed he was way too nasty to him in the beginning. Not even gonna debate that, but for Sam, Dean gives the kid a shot. He discovers that yes, Jack is a good kid and now Deans natural paternal side clicks on. And keep in mind he didnt try to step onSam and take over. Yes they showed Dean and Jack bonding more than they did Sam, but he didnt take over. He made sure taking Jack out was ok with Sam, so did Cas. They both respected that Sam has been Jacks primary care giver since day 1, and Sam isnt selfish or possessive (over anyone/anything else besides Dean) so Sam is happy to share Jack so he can have as much positive influence as he can.  So I give TPTB credit for coming up with this formula, my only complaint being that they didnt need to make Dean as hateful as he was, they could have just made him hessitant and standoffish at first and that would have been enough but it is what it is, and that part is over thank Chuck. Now, most of us knew the “3 dads” thing was coming because the cast talked about it a lot, but those of us who dont follow the cons and interviews, still were pleasently surprised that this came about. I havent heard anyone complain that its creepy, even though if you tell someone whos never seen the show “On my show, the 2 brothers and their friend adopted an 18 yr old kid” they’d look at you funny.  We complain about the writers all the time because they do screw up a lot, but I like to give them credit when I can. This is one of those situations. They made something that seems creepy on the outside, not only acceptable, but wonderful, simply by how it was written. I feel the same way about how they handled the return of Mary. It didnt pan out as well as it could have, and thats really a whole other meta, but Im glad they didnt take an easy route with her making her a zombie, or Super Mom and put her in a really human position of a mother meeting her adult sons for the first time, but Ill save that for another post :)

[yuissamidare]

@codes i think i may have put this on my artblog but... Here

i guess ill start w ichi bc i always forget about him somehow like i always come up short when im making lists and im like 'oh wait shit yeah that guy’ bc im stupid n i only think of fishing trio + choro. I’m an Idiot. idk i never thought too hard on ichi bc i so rarely think about him but he looks so high its really funny i said this on main but he looks like my friend when he decided to try a weed gummy bear then started babbling about hentai then watched to watch porn with me but got mad all the intro scenes are a billion years long and started ranting about the industry but now that i think about it he looks like someone who used to send me weird shit when he was high like bad pick up lines about body parts i wish i didnt have

and thats so funny that its Ichimatsu who looks like that but also proof that hes high. but anyway!! hes really cute and im mad hes boutta ruin my reputation for my complete and utter lack of care and interest in him no matter what im mad. my friend gwyn said 'Sp lubing us up for the fuckening that is the reason why Ichi is sad in present day’ im really curious at the change like if hes trying a fake it till you make it type thing bc really emotionally exhausted or if hes just genuinely having a good time or hes puttin on a front since like. nails who stand get hammered down right??? just gotta do your best n Never Relax n i can relate to all that. but uhhh old hcs i guess

in kun ichi was the most serious! really smart but just as bad w school as the rest of them apparently but!! yeah so id think that!! ichis that guy who participates in class discussion constantly and is always willing to debate the readings, but turns in sloppy papers with typos and no a coherency or stucture or anything. he’s A+ in participation but has an average of 60% on most of the written assignments with points knocked bc of lateness then more bc its A Mess. you could ask about the prompts for one of his papers, he could babble about his position on it complete with paragraphs and footnotes but like the day before its due hes playing rpgs and watching horror movies.

his classmates think hes so smart n so intimidating. the family knows hes a hot mess. the teachers tell him he has a lot of potential but they don’t think hes applying himself. all are right. also he doesnt cheat or let people cheat off of him since hes always been about rules and boundaries and Rightness n he n jyushi were the only ones who Minded Themselves in kun

uhh jyushi!! let me talk about schoolwork again bc yeah i love jyushi so so so so much and thinking of him in a school environment is so weird i thought about it a lot n i thought about it him in kun n san and Woah!! i really really love delinquent jyushi, bc when i saw that i was like 'huh! that fits actually!!’ i love that like him and choro flip flopped completely from what i thought. his school must be so cold theyre too cheap to afford heating in the winter and in summer the acs Blast. he was so Shy and quiet and he cried and he liked to sing so i always thought that when he participated in chorus festivals hes always like right in front!! he hums a lot in class and also moves around alot bc he actually like school and people like primary trio are the types that make friends often. i wasnt supposed to talk about this yet whoops.

unlike ichi who relatively neat despite everything but has shit notes, jyushis notes are amazing and understandable and utterly illegible.

theyre covered in doodles, arrows and lines leading every which way, different colors but not like color coded n theyre not in order by date, but he opens to a random page every time yet somehow always seems to know where to find each lesson. he writes footnotes and caveats and corrections and criticisms of the teachers and random thoughts and just smears ink everywhere. sometimes his notes are on a completely different subject. the notebook itself is a horrifying mess, the front and back covers both covered in drawings and designs and falling apart, random papers shoved between the pages, coming apart at the seams, covered in stains of unknown origin. assignments are full of emoticons and informal language, and they always manage to make his teachers feel like hes smarter than they are (most likely). he does his projects the minute theyre assigned, and is finished a minute later so can talk to his friends. he loved school.

sophie told me once about how she thought was Like That was bc one of his main concerns is that he thought he had nothing that made him Jyushi n in kun she said he might have been the one who was the most concerned about having a distinctive personality and i talked about how that sorta carried over san and how he always blended in bc of how gentle and soft and push-overy he was. he was actually the and most gullible and weakest in kun so i was like :0 when i saw that and intentionally did stuff like only carry 14 yen in his pockets to be quirky but it always sorta fell flat and he was still invisible so i was like hmmmmm. and i can see how he couldve toughened up and thinking of this now!! i love that. oh im so happy. this is so much better than i ever couldve imagined ever.

totty…. i do not think he was very popular or good at school. i think he’s very decent at schoolwork but he never put much effort into it. just copies whats on the board but if the class runs out of allotted lesson time n he couldnt finish his work he just didnt do it like cram schools a pain in the ass. if he put effort hed be a star student but he just craps out whatever since hes was the laziest!! oh but something i noticed was that him and jyushi would play together often since sometime he felt overwhelmed by karamatsu a lot. also hes the money thief and scammer its great kun todo is so good. he gets shy and flustered easy too!!

but uhh yeah!! depending on the day im always like 'zaimoku love each other so much they are best friends and the perfect other halves!!’ then im like 'these mofos hate each other what the fuck is this trainwreck’ did you see their shitty small talk in the horse episode. what was that. like they are genuinely trying to communicate and are pretty easy with each other but they have nothing to say. its like when youre having a boring day at school and theres nothing to talk about with an acquaintance so you just look at the walls and go 'have you ever noticed how stupid these posters are’ then you both start reading posters aloud but you both know its not that funny and youre just doing it to waste time but you still enjoy their company you just dont want silence. thats their relationship. and i think they are just very similar in very different ways and like. the key things that make them both similar and different and the same fuck them up (like suiriku!! theyre both really similar even if it doesn’t seem like it at first which is why their compatibility in the relationship chart was so low in s1, but i saw a lot of improvement in both of their behaviours and their communication and honestly. s2 was worth it for that sophie was so happy to see her faves get along) like sometimes when you look in the mirror all the things you see are the things you dont like about yourself instead of what makes you wonderful and unique. also i didnt mean to talk about this but i guess i am.

but yeah. totty is bitter n resentful at kara during hs n karas more confused and upset at tottys behaviour in their twenties n thats bc like i said. theyre dumb. karamatsu!! i think was actually pretty popular in highschool n had a good amount of friends - i genuinely think theatre kids are well liked bc i literally know everyone in my department and im friends w a good amount of people and im not even That extroverted. my actual extrovert friends know everyone in the school by name and everyone in my department is so nice even though theres a lot of bitchiness and drama its not as bad as w other humanities studies (jesus christ humanity students outside of theatre are a hot mess.)

uh yeah n that ultimately makes totty feel a bit… betrayed? karamatsu is his partner! theyre supposed to be there for eachother! kara’s the first one to branch out, get friends etc etc and todomatsus left behind bc hes always the one playimg follow the leader and he breaks out of that once they graduate - he grows up resenting karamatsu slightly though he still cares. but this time Hes the one cancelling plans to hang out with friends instead. my friend katie put it best when, in response to me telling them this, they sent me:

'kara: totty you have so many friends now. We barely see you anymore.

totty, applying chapstick: well, I learned it from the best.’

when i told them about it. but at the time gwyn and i were babbling about possibilities and different storylines and how theres a possiblity the movie might break down into three manageable plotlines n she gave zaimoku 'popularity’ and this was me throwing out ideas but honestly. Good. (aha, the end of this scenario ended up with todo throwing hands and shoulder checking someone outside a window and then getting removed from the premise n hanging with atsushi all night after) why am i on this. shit what happened here.

uhh but yeah totty is Def someone with learned behaviours rather than being a natural extrovert honestly just look at him hes an introverted mess masquerading as a decent human being and i know full well how people like that are bc some of them have been my best friends for years n seein the new hs promos solidifies that fact bc look at him. Crybaby. He is Miniscule. A Child.

then its 'delinquent who looks like an honour student’ choro. i never studied him until sophie started liking choro n since i love sophie i wanted to take an interest in him too. n i started to think very hard about him! then gwyn planted this in me n its taken root and im just never not gonna think its great. yall see his shitty gokudo impression what a bossy lil shit. he pulled a whip on kara once and it was mad funny but also Gwyns Big Evidence for him just being the absolute worst not like a casually skips class type but a Choro was a legit a bully and really mean n sabatoged other classmates to make him look like he was 100% That Bitch. maybe not him being Mean and cruel but just an asshole who bums around, is something i really like that one a lot its been one of my faves since gwyn n i started talking about it but i just!! have a ton of other things too!!

hes a lot like karamatsu in that theyre both stupid and weird and embarrassing and they put on airs but they also!! dont try!! they talk so big and such high goals n expectations and they dont do shit bc they have so much hubris but i always talk about them bc suiriku is sophies Beloved so ill like. Not. but he acts like he’s better than all of them n forces the role of the straight man on himself because he wants to be seen as the responible, level headed one even if hes just. So Much.

i think the movies calling back to how touchy feely and clingy he was in kun and adding on to how jyushis a delinquent and kara… Is Like That he’ll be around them the most bc jyushi might either be really protective or push him away and then they do something to mend their relationship later on or hell cling to kara and they just. grow apart. sticking to my hc until the end bitches. oh.

for choro… personally!! i thought hed be a slacker instead of a delinquent but not in the way totty slacked - totty was lazy n knew the work but didnt want to put in effort but choro just. Doesnt. choro has so much energy all the time and choro Can Not deal with school situations. bc like… you always hear people say that studying is meant to be done at the desk, silently, no distractions what so ever!! focus on notes and nothing else!! ise a highlighter but dont use it too much!! make your notes legible but you only have five minutes before the board gets erased!! review!!! look at your notes or youll die! take breaks bit dont take too long and honestly. listen. kun choro wouldnt be able to stand that shit and id think hed just think he was doing it The Wrong Way n he just wasnt meant to do it.

he doesnt like quiet classrooms!! he cant study like that and hell get distracted. he cant sit still n thats why totoko broke up w him in the beer ad and why hes just Everywhere in kun!! hes understimulated and its just Ugh! you know??? he’ll fidget w his pens until he breaks them or hum or tap his foot and annoy everyone or leave for the bathroom at least three times a class just to get up and move.

eventually he just. gives up even though hes super smart he like, stops caring bc if you dont care to understand material then you wont have to read and read and reread and rereread something to get it! classes just make everything uncomphrehensible and makes any idea he may have sublimate into nothing. but he can work on the trains and the buses! he needs something kenetic to get him moving and trains n shit always have enough going on to work with, just like with home!! chorochoro motherfuckers. he works much better moving forward, ironic as that is. he feels sorta set apart from every thing like hes behind some big plane of glass doing everything wrong and being all set apart from everything. eventually he takes to acting like a real fussy mom to avoid his own problems and help everyone else out even though hes annoying and even when he graduates but it gets Worse bc then figures out how much!!! he fucked up!! then he kicks himself into high gear n still cant do shit. ahh.

its illegal for me to talk about choukei bc i talk about them so much and im always being annoying n typing stupid essays about them bc theyre… my faves.. But this is so long…

it actually makes me super happy that he kara acne he still can be really fighty and he cries and he still does stupid impulsive shit for others and even though hes really sweet and caring is still an utter monster and fucking mess of a person. love him. i always like to think his shittymatsu nickname came from iyami n it just morphed from there bc in 66 you can hear iyami calling him specifically garbage. ive always been glad they kept his sewing hobby too. ahh, actually from what i see hes pretty similarities to kun so i wonder when he decided to air out that teremity. idk what to say about him that i havent in tottys section. he just Feels like someone who had a good support group and nice friends bc of how hes able to move in the world. kara feels like some whos doing their growing up in their twenties bc highschool came easy to them and now theyre just really struggling with the real world. like i shouldve expected softboy hs kara and i appreciate him very much!! i talk about choukei a lot bc they were the first characters that spoke so i immediately attached myself to them n i talk about karamatsu Specifically but im not sure i ever mentioned how much i appreciated how smart and cautious hes proved himself to be time and time again, like how hes the only one to point out totokos fish shtick aint doing her favours or how he was the first one to notice osos irritation n how you can pick out his voice warning jyushi to calm down in the bg of 24 or how in the comedian episode he was ready to take Notes from iyami and a lot of other small things!!

i would think hes actually a bit more serious n calm in hs and san is him amping up traits that drew people to him in hs and it backfiring on kara spectacularly - kara is always gauging people and their reactions and acting in a way he believes will get something positive, but at the same time is utterly oblivious when it comes to actually Getting them n i talked about the girls on the bridge but this is also prevalent with ichi who kara just. Doesnt Get and can not figure out how to maneuver their relationship. like oso, kara is and elder brother!! and elder brothers have an image theyre supposed to uphold, but while kara acts the part he doesnt do the shit a big brother does and shrugs that responsibility off on oso until oso fucks up until s2, where they share the role more evenly and his relationship with ichi improves but this is another essay entirely. what im trying to get with that is that hyperfocus on what other people think of him, but his complete disregard when it comes to their actual reaction and instead what he wants their reactions to be would also greatly impact him transtioning from a teen to an adult im sorry im getting sloppy now

osomatsu… i really adore him too much and i understand how totty felt in their episode bc i also lent my phone to a friend who needed to desperately jack it before meeting new people n i talk about him a whole lot too. hes mean and an asshole and garbage n i know a lot of people find him plain n boring but idk. i dont think thats the case hes a really complexed n nuanced character n hes literally has always been way back from kun n thats expected from a main character but… hes always been mean n dumb n sly and he can get so pathetically vunerable and thats literally!! him. hes a normal dude nothing wrong with that n it can be real refreshing. n i suppose im so fond of fishing trio+choro bc they remind me of my friends. but yeah even if hes 'plain’ i dont see why thats a bad thing. n this they always have the most interesting body language like despite kara being So Much his body language was always closed off n singled him out as everything But exuberant and bright, and osos quirks like how he stands on his toes a lot had always been so cute… its relaxed and open n screams Talk To Me!!!!

ahh but i always end up thinking oso was. oso??? theres not much to say that i havent before but i do think that he was a lot more like he was in episode 2 when ranting to chibita about having shitty brothers and then actively Chose to be a good brother even if he wasnt a good person and be a stable rock and be someone they could all come back to at the end of the day. and hes good at math im never letting this die.

[sharksfood]

spoilers for Ralph Breaks the Internet (Wreck-It Ralph 2)

SO i was going to wait to record my thoughts on Ralph Breaks the Internet until after i finished my homework but i cant stop thinking about it!!!

anyways, I saw RBTI on Tuesday night in 3D and it was AMAZING!! i mean, both the movie by itself and how it looked in 3D. i loved that they put in a nod to those movies that took 3D to the fullest potential with stuff coming at you from the screen, when Ralph was throwing the football into the air.

BESIDES THAT i LOVED this movie!!!! i’m no negative nancy when it comes to sequels and i had been wanting a WIR followup since the first one came out!

but to get the biggest aspect out of the way, i was not always on board with the plot of Ralph and Vanellope going into the Internet. when I first heard the movie announcement and the whole Internet aspect it didn’t totally make sense to me. I mean, I originally thought the gang going into online games was a good mix between Internet and video games (since WIR revolves around video games). However I quickly changed my mind, especially since they WOULD be going into online/mobile games.

My initial reaction to the movie as a whole was EXTREMELY POSITIVE!!! I loved how the animation looked, the fact that we got an introduction on what Ralph, Vanellope, Felix, and Tammy (Calhoun) had been up to since the last movie, and that everything including the arcade had changed in basically real time. That last part was a bit sad too, especially with how few games were left in the arcade and that it seems business was not as good for Mr. Litwak as it used to be. BUT this movie, especially the beginning, was like catching up with an old friend after a long time apart! WIR means so much to me and I was so glad Disney took the time to connect to those who’d seen and loved the first movie.

I’ll admit I was a little nervous with how they’d handle the Internet, especially for a fictional universe thats based on the real one, like WIR. I knew they’d have to create fake websites and video games and what not to fit the plot and because of licensing rights. I’m also glad they did this because if Yesss were the algorithm for actual BuzzFeed or YouTube I don’t think they’d let anyone forget that. plus that would be too 4th wall breaking in my opinion. and this movie did A LOT or meta/4th wall stuff. I dont think any of the references or hints or real-world tie ins were annoying or over the top, it was the right amount for me. they could have made everything fictional, but that would fail to hook people. it was the right amount of fiction and real-life.

that being said, I do think some of the things Ralph, Vanellope, and Yesss accomplished couldn’t work in the real world. What bothered me is that any video of Ralph showed him as 3D, like how he looks in Sugar Rush or in the Game Central Station. Yes, that is how he looks “inside” the games and from other video game character’s perspective, but does that work for humans? Maybe it wasn’t explained very well, thats all. WIR is at times a little hard to wrap my head around. But then again, not everything needs to be explained or completely realistic, since, you know, video game characters are not able to coexist in each other’s games or buy stuff from Ebay.

the new characters was SO GOOD especially Yesss, Shank, and Knowsmore (to me anyways). I would have liked if the new characters had interacted with each other on screen more (like Yesss and Shank are friends but you wouldn’t know that without each of them saying so). also the Disney Princesses were adorable and actually more plot-related than i thought they’d be!

the biggest surprise for me is how much importance the movie gave to Vanellope for being a princess, i mean, she got a song and everything! To me she never gave her princessship much mind, since she only wanted to be a racer. by the end of the movie she was farther from being a princess than before. but i think this was intentional and why we got the scene with the other princesses in the first place, Disney wanted to show that there’s no one way to be a princess. obviously Pixar addressed this with Merida, and I think Moana is a good example, too, but Vanellope really is the least-princessy princess. I’m also glad that they didn’t make her song or voice too cute/pretty, it fit with her character, personality, and dream!

the part of this movie that my most impactful for me was the message and eventually plot structure of how Ralph and Vanellope’s friendship was addressed. WIR means a lot to me is many ways, but the fact that romance or blood family isnt the main relationship dynamic is huge.  I mean, I can’t think of many Disney/Pixar movies that do this, and even those that do, friendship is just a subplot. Ralph and Vanellope becoming friends, protecting one another, even in the face of their differences is one of the main messages of WIR (the other being self-acceptance and following your heart). RBTI took this further with the message of how friends can grow, drift apart, have difference dreams, become too attached, and build negative friendships based on anxieties. I’ve NEVER seen this in an animated movie, and it hit me pretty hard.

so with anxiety in mind, I really liked how Vanellope’s glitching was utilized, i mean since she now has a general control on it, she doesn’t glitch out as much. the only time she does in RBTI is when she wants to or when she’s super anxious. its almost like a physical symptom of her having a panic attack. (on a personal note, Vanellope’s glitching was the main thing that helped me get over my fear of glitch, so that relation to anxiety and fear is very meaningful to me) but Vanellope’s anxieties were very different from Ralph’s, which is good! they both struggled with being accepted within their games in the past, and part of that still lingers, though now, especially for Ralph, it manifests in anxiety over their friendship. I really like the direction that Disney/Pixar has taken with some of their movies recently in that the main antagonist is not a villain, but rather an emotion or conflict anthropomorphized.

as for the characters, Ralph and Vanellope were PERFECT. Vanellope is my favorite and she was just amazing. Their characters were the right amount of the same from the first movie and different, since there’s been 6 years for them to grow. I’m also really happy that Felix and Tammy were in RBTI, though I wish they were in it more. I mean, this was Ralph and Vanellope’s movie, but most of Tammy’s appearances were just for comedic affect, in my opinion. They also seemed way different, but I guess that’s marriage? It’s as if their character-specific dialogue and quirks were toned down. Maybe after a second viewing it’ll make more sense to me.

My only other complaints are that when Ralph accidentally finds the comment section of BuzzTube, his reaction and that whole scene didn’t add much to the story. I think it was important, especially given Ralph’s past, but it was so short. Ralph seemed to have forgotten all about it after the scene ended. The comments and toxic parts of the Internet play a much bigger role than that, so I wish it was addressed better. I also thought it was weird that we didn’t get any clear context as to why Mr. Litwak got Wifi in the first place. I mean, I assumed it was to get an online presence for the Arcade, but i don’t think that was actually addressed. Of course thats a minor thing compared to my previous comment. 

The last thing I noticed is that the main conflict of the movie, the steering wheel of Sugar Rush breaking and how they’d need to buy a new one or Sugar Rush would be gone for good, was introduced too soon. I think this was done because there was so much content to get through within 2 hours, and I know that the main premise was involving the Internet, so staying in the Arcade would defeat this purpose. It’s just that to me it all sort of fell into place a little too easy and fast. Also, Vanellope feeling trapped in a boring loop of her game and other feelings from the characters in the beginning were told rather than shown. I know already mentioned that I thought certain things weren’t “explained” well enough, but I mean that like, both visually and through dialogue. With the emotional parts of the movie’s conflicts, I think those developed well once Ralph and Vanellope got into the Internet, but it seemed “presented” almost at first. Again, I only saw it once and its not totally fresh in my mind anymore, so maybe after seeing it again it’ll clear this up.

okay so as for the aesthetic and animation of RBTI it was GORGEOUS!!! I love how Disney/Pixar can take things like the Internet or your brain (like in Inside Out) and turn them into working cities/structures that are creative and make sense! I really like that Pop Ups are maneuvered by sentient beings like street salespeople, since the feeling of online popups and ads is the same! Also, the Dark Web being the underbelly of the Internet “city” and all the avatars are dressed like theyre in Incognito mode is amazing. i also LOVED the viruses, since they looked like gross, scary, creepy fictional bugs or visual germs (they reminded me of Osmosis Jones in a way). How the viruses functioned, at least the Insecurity Virus, made sense for how I think most people imagine computer viruses to act. I honestly don’t know how that stuff happens, and I bet Disney knew most of their audiences dont either, so they took some artistic liberties with that in mind. But the virus was a clever plot device because it literally detected insecurities, both in that Ralph/Vanellope were insecure about their friendship, and neither of them “belonged” in the Internet.

ANOTHER THING is when Shank and her crew had to fight the Slaughter Race players, the distinction between player and NPC was clear and funny. It felt very GTA to me. How they handled Slaughter Race in general was great, since it was obviously a violent video game, but they didn’t tone it down too much to loose that feeling. I think it would’ve been cool to see cars and buildings “update” like they do in some games, too. OH the way that the Virus Ralphs joined together to make the Giant Ralph and that they kept moving to make the entire thing kinetic was SO CREEPY BUT COOL!!! that must have taken forever to animate.  I also noticed that on the Giant Ralph the little virus dudes were like laying down or posed a certain way to give the impression of different textures or colors on Giant Ralph, which is amazing!!! the filmmakers and animators paid so much care to the look and feel of this movie and it really paid off.

okay last few things before I forget: all of the main characters were great examples of positive and negative personality aspects that real people could reflect on. Ralph felt so much more openly emotional and body positive than in the first, which for a dude character is great!!  Vanellope has always been a great example of a girl who likes “tomboy” or “masculine” stuff but still likes cute and “girly” stuff (i mean she obviously wasn’t into the whole princess thing but she found her own way around it!). Felix and Tammy in RBTI were obviously an example on how married couples can still love each other just like the day they met! Did i mention how much I love Yesss? I love her SO MUCH!!! she wore a different outfit/hairstyle every time we saw her, she was fun and smart and over the course of the movie grows to actually care about Ralph and Vanellope beyond their Internet fame. the MUSIC was fantastic as always, and I love Imagine Dragon’s song and the Julia Michaels rendition of Vanellope’s song on Slaughter Race.

Just like the first one, this movie was funny, heartwarming, emotional, and really fun!! I hope it gets all the recognition and love it deserves. I can’t accurately say if I like this one of the previous better, since I’ve only seen it once. HOWEVER I ma really glad that Disney has made a lot of merch for RBTI since the first one got barely anything. All in all, I loved Ralph Breaks the Internet!!!!

P.S. Did yall see the after credits scene?

[scarlette-joel-writing]

Erased Pt. 7

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Requested by: Me

Warnings: Langu- you already know.

A/N This is not the end! I know it is going to seem like the end, and if you are content with this ending, you dont have to read further, But I repeat. Not the end. 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7  Part 8  Part 9 Part 10  Part 11

~

Bucky’s POV (yea bitches. We are doin it)

I have never been the type of person that could sit around and do nothing. That could sit back and wait for something to be finished. I don’t like feeling helpless and I don’t like being able to do nothing in a situation. It makes me all anxious and weird. I would much rather be doing something that is beneficial to the problem at hand.

But that type of philosophy doesn’t really work in this situation. Especially since everything that is going on is within Y/N’s mind and I definitely do not have the powers that she has. So I am just sitting here, on her bed, holding her hands and waiting for her to wake up.

It has been almost three hours since she went under, and I cant help but wondering if that is normal. She had said that she would need a few hours, but she has never done something this big before. She has never had to take out this many memories. Maybe she underestimated the time she needed.

She actually looks quite peaceful here. Her hair is all sprawled out against her pillows and her one arm is crossed over her stomach while the other one is holding mine. Her face looks peaceful and the only sign that she isn’t actually asleep is the fact that her eyes dart back and forth under her eyelids every once in a while. But apart from that, her body remains completely still.

Doctor Strange has been closely monitoring her vitals from the other side of the bed. Getting up about every 10 minutes to make sure that nothing has changes and that the cooling serum is still working. He had explained the basic premise of the different machines to me and had also explained all of the ways that they could go wrong very quickly if they weren’t closely monitored. I hadn’t cared much for that part of the conversation.

How could she have done this? How could she have risked so much just to save my mind? It would have been easier to just put me under and tried to wait Hydra out. Maybe in 60 or 70 years the organization would fall and then I could be brought back safely then. She didn’t have to go through all of this. Didn’t have to be hooked up to all of these machines, digging around in the memories of 7 billion people just to save me. I am not worth that much.

I pull myself out of my own thoughts and allow myself to look around at her room. She was right. Mine does look dull and boring in comparison to hers. She has a wall of bookshelves on one side, filled to the brim with books of all genres. Her walls are painted navy blue and the room is pretty dark. Some white Christmas lights hung up to give the room a soft glow and a wax warmer that makes the room smell of cherries. But what draws my attention the most is all of the pictures that she has hanging up in her room.

Another wall of her room is dedicated solely to framed pictures that have been hung there. Big pictures and small pictures. Black and white pictures and color pictures. Pictures of her and her friends. Pictures of her when she was younger. Pictures of places that she has gone and things that she has done. There are so many different things. I look through all of them and then my eyes come to rest on one in particular. It is at the very top of the wall and it seems to be new. I squint my eyes to look at it only to realize that it is a picture of me.

Me.

It was at one of the parties that Tony threw a couple months back. Tony had forced me to wear this all black suit that he had gotten tailored for me and so I did. Halfway through the night though I had gotten hot and taken off the jacket and rolled up my sleeves to my elbow. This is what the picture is. It is me standing in front of the bar with my flesh harm holding my jacket over my shoulder while my metal arm is resting in my pocket. At the time, it had seemed like a very normal position, but looking at the picture now, it looks like I was posing for the cover of a magazine.

Why did she take a picture of me? And more importantly why did she hang it on the wall?

“Bucky,” Steve pokes his head into the door of Y/N room and smiles at me, “can you come out here for a minute? We are talking about a new mission coming up and we need your input,” Cap looks down at the bed at Y/N and lets his tough guy demeanor fall for only a split second before he is back into business mode.

Steve had seen a lot of people die in the war. A lot of people with loved ones that never got to come home. And even after the war is over he has still seen a lot of death and destruction. Steve has kind of taken on the idea that things happen and people die but you have to keep moving to make sure that the world gets better. It is an idea that I haven’t fully adopted from him yet.

“I will be right out there,” he nods his head and steps away from the door. I look back down to Y/N to see the fact that she is still. I don’t want her to leave her, but I know that she is in the good hands of the doctor. She will be okay. Soon this will all be over and everything will be okay. At least this part of our lives will be okay.

I slowly slip my hand from hers and stand up from the bed. I check to make sure that everything is fine and that she doesn’t move, and after 30 seconds, I turn and walk away from the room as well. Everyone is situated in Y/N’s living room and they all turn to look at me.

“How is she?” Natasha asks and I can tell that it is the same question that everyone wants to know the answer to.

“She is doing good. Strange says that she is using up a lot of energy but she is staying hydrated and her vitals and body temperature are remaining stable so, she is good,” every one sighs and I have to give a small smile. These people really do care about her.

I know that Y/N wants to believe that they all just treat her like a child for the hell of it, but that really isn’t the case at all. They are just trying to protect her. She is the person on this team with the strongest abilities and it is a priority to keep her safe above all else.

“So, lets get started,” Cap says and I take a seat in the chair on the other side of the table to begin work. But my heart and head isn’t in it. They are still sitting back in Y/N’s room, holding her hand and making sure that I am there when she wakes up.

~

The high-pitched scream that rattles the glass windows comes about an hour and a half later. When all of us have finally gotten super comfortable and are going over the small details of the sting operation taking place in the middle of Afghanistan next week.

Everything goes dead silent for one small second before every single person is on their feet and rushing towards Y/N’s room, where the scream originated from.

Oh god. Something happened. Something happened and she is dying and it is all my fucking fault because I was the one that she was trying to fucking protect and god fucking dammit.

I push my way through the rest of the group until I am standing in the middle of the room, looking at an empty bed. Where the hell did she go? I look to Doctor Strange with wide eyes but he is giving me the same exact expression back. He just shakes his head slightly and points to the bathroom door on the other side of the room.

“Y/N?” I say as I take a step towards the bathroom door. No one else in the group dares to speak a word and no one dares to take a step forward. “Y/N, doll, are you okay?” there is no noise coming from the other side of the door and when I turn the handle, I can feel that it is unlocked. “Y/N, I am gonna come in, okay? I don’t want you to freak out. It is just me,” and then I open the door.

And the sight horrifies me. Y/N is sitting in the corner of the bathroom with her arms wrapped around her knees and rocking back and forth slowly. Her head is buried in her knees and I can see the way that her back rises and falls rapidly with each shaky breath that rings through the bathroom. I quickly block her from the others and close the door behind me as I enter the bathroom. “Y/N.”

“So many memories Bucky,” she lifts her head and I can see the look of fear that she has on her face. The look of a person that has seen everything. “So many thoughts. Everyone talking at once. Everybody talking about everything. No quiet. No silence. So many horrible things and horrible people and horrible memories all locked away in their heads. So many,” she is rambling and I throw all thought to the wind as I run over and scoop her up into my arms. Her arms snake their way around my neck to hold me in a tight grip. Not that I mind at all. This is the girl that risked her sanity to save mine.

“Oh, doll. I am so sorry. I am sorry that you went through that. But you are back now. You are safe. You can shut off the voices now. You don’t have to hear them anymore. It can be silent for as long as you like,” her face nuzzles into my neck and I let the feeling of having her in my arms encompass me. Her breathing slows and when she looks back at me, her eyes are rimmed red with unshed tears.

“The things that those people thought. The memories that they have of you. All strapped to a chair, electricity coursing through your veins to make you forget the person that you were and the things that you knew. The things they made you do. The experiments,” a sob catches in her throat at the thought of what they did and I just wrap my arm around her waist tighter and pull her closer to me once more. “They all had to erased,” her voice wavers and I want so badly to do something to make the sadness go away.

“You didn’t have to do that, doll. You could have just erased the code,” now she has all of those horrible memories in her head. Memories of me that I never wanted her to see. Memories of me as a person that I don’t even really remember.

“No. Now no Hydra member or any other person on this planet knows who the winter soldier is. Now no one on this planet besides you, me, and the team know that you exist or that the code ever existed. And you and I are the only 2 people on the planet that know that code,” she sets her face into a determined line and looks straight at me. “Now you are safe,”

I cant help myself. I lean in and capture her lips with mine quickly. It is a split second decision but I have to admit that it is the best decision that I could have made. Her lips are soft and sweet and when she kisses me back, I can feel my knees go weak underneath me.

Her hands come up to play with my hair and I can feel myself groan into the kiss as I try and pull her impossibly closer to me. We are all tongues and teeth as both me and her try and pour all of our emotions into a kiss. Her hands are moving down to rest on my chest and I am holding onto her hips to make sure that every centimeter between us is gone.

I never knew a kiss could feel like this. Could be so fiery and passionate and send shivers through my spine but still have so much emotion behind it. Still have something real. We stand like that for a few minutes, wrapped up in each other and never wanting to let go, before she finally pulls her face away from mine to breath. I will admit that as soon as her lips are gone, I want them back.

“Please tell me that that wasn’t a one time thing,” she breathes out and I can see the light slowly return back to her eyes. I can see the old Y/N coming back to me. She seems just as confused about what happened but the smile on her face tells me she liked it just as much as I did.

“I hope it wasn’t a one time thing. Because that was phenomenal,” I say and she laughs before she leans back in to give me a slow and lingering kiss that ignites my soul (cliché as hell, I know)

“I should save you more often,”

Taglist:

@jacks-on-krack @tbetz0341 @haleypearce @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @zestygingergirl @geeksareunique @jemjem-chan @rachelmc97

[survivorbehemoth]

Episode #4: “"I sound like a pregnant donkey and you have to deal with this" - Szymon

Click HERE to watch Conor’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Jules’ Video!

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

Click HERE to watch Dylan G’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Daisy’s Video!

so scott went home which was a surprise! poor boyo. but we finally successfully threw the challenge, but seeing the other tribes score even if we tried we probably would have lost. we came to the decision to vote billy first, daisy thinks he's a creep and im fine with it. the hope is we can knock out a few more og zelda members, and in the process get brandan to start working with us! which will help especially since we are down in og tribe numbers.

in terms of what im doing: i have been trying to just lay low and go with the flow. i really like our 5 person alliance with daisy rob gage and szymon. i think all 5 of us really get along. also i have been collecting lots of presents hoping to exchange them all for an idol. i think this game for all premerge will probably be og tribe vs og tribe so keeping us 5 in good spirit for the time being is important, but also making sure people like chips/ali dont think im calling the shots is also important in case we swap and im in the minority.

Got Scott's gifts, gained trust with Jules, went camping for the round

Click HERE to watch Billy’s Video!

Click HERE to watch Gage’s Video!

zeldaborne 2.0 won immunity! after losing to helgamine 2.0 last time we felt pretty down and our morale was low so i'm glad we got this win. us not having to go to tribal is also a very good thing because we almost self imploded last time roughly 30 minutes prior to tribal because dylan thought it would be good to come home from work and tell people to flip on lovelis! and while i wouldn't have minded voting out lovelis it definitely was not the right time but dylan and jules, who i have an alliance with, thought it was a better idea. so because of that i think i was able to build a better relationship with the others like dylan g, cindi, and conor because it wasn't my fault the vote got messy. either way it's good that we have this round off to cool down and collect ourselves so we can pretend last round never happened. i hope we keep winning immunities though!

Click HERE to watch Dylan’s Video!

We won immunity so that’s great. After the last vote I thought Conor would be upset with me for telling him Lovelis instead of.......I literally forget who we just voted out......lmfao. That’s how forgettable. But yeah, I thought Conor would be upset and he was at first but then quickly got over it. He still sees us working together to get to the merge. Other than that it’s nice not to have to go to tribal tonight.

I am so sad Scott is out of the game now :( he does not know me and I do not know him but i liked him a lot. okay besides that, this tribal council is the most easiest vote I have seen in my life. But this is way too easy!! everyone is saying Brendan, but I am no dummy  hun! they just might take out someone like Billy or myself or Chips cause they know that Brendan will flip to their side. Do I think that will happen? NO Will I be shook? NO Do I want the hosts to give me a super idol? HELL YESS LOVE!!!

Sooooooo we lost. The basic premise of the challenge was surrounding like solving a 4x4 puzzle of words and how they relate to one another and what not annnnddd let's just say I still have no idea on how you get ten points on that. I tried my best when it came to the challenge, and I got us a lot of points actually but it wasn't enough at the end of the day.

So we're going to tribal. And I feel actually... pretty safe. Obviously a lot of shit has been going on in my life, but I'm becoming more and more active with every day. My original tribe mates threw my name out to the wolves, but I made inroads with some of the people from Helgamine to help me stay alive, and as far as I know that seems to be what's happening. Obviously Billy seems to be the target and should be leaving by the looks of it, which I am COMPLETELY fine with since he threw out my name so fuck that!

Honestly it's hard to say what's going on. Our tribe lost the immunity challenge because the other tribe are... ICONS! Only thing I can say.

I've done my best to be socially available to the other tribe. I even let them know that I feel I've been on the bottom of my previous tribe before the swap (and legit felt that way...) and don't really care who we vote even if it's "betrayal".

I have talked to everyone since the results and Billy is REALLY pushing for Brandan since he is borderline non-social and has been with everyone. In fact, everyone is agreeing with the name and saying that it makes a lot of sense.

I, however, feel like that's too easy! I think that the fact Brandan was pushing so HARD to get out Brandan means that he has become "ammo" for the majority to recruit him. He will vote for whoever if he stays another round and they can take him as far as they need since Billy has made it OBVIOUS he's not a number that he's interested in.

Why not take the free vote plus goat and get rid of a more active player? I have a really bad vibe from this round. Everyone has been too complacent going along with things and Brandan (somehow) still hasn't heard a name. NO WAY!

If I get voted out this round I am going to be so sad. If I don't and it's a blindside of someone else I won't be. I think I could pick myself back up after that.

In the back of my mind I am really REALLY really hoping that it really is an easy vote and that everyone is playing super openly because it will give me a better idea of how to read them moving forward... the only thing is that they ALREADY voted out a different player who didn't see it coming at all. So why not repeat the same thing.

Also, sorry I didn't record this confession. I've been super busy today and was not able to film.

Click HERE to listen to Szymon’s Vocaroo!

So! I'm glad we managed to pull off that win in Only Connect, I feel like I've still not yet had the chance to properly show what I'm made of on an individual level which is somewhat scary but may also help me in the long run? It could allow me to stay undetected physically in the later game if I manage to make it that far, but it could also be my downfall if we hit a premerge tribal council. I really hope we don't swap too because I'm in an optimal position right now on this Zelda2.0 tribe, praying things just stay the same and I can feel somewhat comfortable.

________________________________________________________________

Billy is voted out 6-3.

Watch the Round 4 Cast Assessment below:

[nothingneverforever]

Yesterday (2019)

When I’d just seen the trailers and promo stuff for Yesterday, there was some great excitement in me. I loved The Beatles years ago, I mean, I really really loved them, I’ve got about 15 books on them, borrowed my mom’s credit card to shop online for DVDs of all their original movies when I was 14, etc etc, so Yesterday’s premise added up and seemed to look like something I’d enjoy: Danny Boyle, mysterious ultra-niche alternate reality in an otherwise utterly regular world, some kind of deadpan irony about the whole situation…

Then it came and went in cinemas and I never got down to seeing it. So I watched instead this film review by DazzReviews on Youtube, titled “Yesterday Missed A MASSIVE OPPORTUNITY (SPOILERS)”.  It’s a short and simple analysis of key weaknesses of the film, being that its actual contents greatly pale in comparison to its great potential. Even without watching the film, I understood Dazz’s gripe because even seeing snippets of the film bored me. It is such a unique, and almost cute idea afterall: a blackout causing selective loss of memory in every single individual in this world (save for 3, later to be discussed) where post-blackout, The Beatles and other cultural/social phenomenon do not and have never existed. Our protagonist, who pre-blackout was a struggling singer/songwriter, then decides to release Beatles songs from his memory as his own, thus gaining global popularity and attracting immense adoration. It’s not novel, perhaps reminiscent of time-travel narratives idk, but it’s still fun right?  

Yet even after watching this review video and understanding the film’s flaws and being able to imagine how disappointing the film would have been, watching it in full for myself was still an upsetting experience. Google tells me that Yesterday is of the ‘Drama/Fantasy’ genre, which gives me a good starting point for my critique: how utterly un-fantastical it is.

Our protagonist Jack Malik is LITERALLY the most vanilla, ungrateful, boring, not-alive, nothing-at-all, annoying, pathetically male (in terms of tantrum-throwing and ingratitude) character I have ever seen. None of this is hyperbolic, his character literally sucks so freakin much omfg, absolutely devoid of any redeeming or even remotely INTERESTING qualities at all. In fact save for maybe one scene (which I will talk about below), I don’t think there was another single second in the entire film where we saw him smiling. This is not to say that he’s portrayed as especially tortured or depressed in demeanor, merely to indicate his absolute dearth of warmth and personality.

Meanwhile, it becomes clear as the boring film progresses boringly that Yesterday is in fact nothing more than a love story. The cute Beatles twist is merely a device to show us how Jack and his “love interest” Ellie (inverted commas cos their love sucks omfg I cant imagine that ANYONE viewing it is convinced) were in fact meant to be, with Jack’s momentary superstardom existing to show him that all he ever wanted was his old life, the one with Ellie (even though they were never together because THEY ARENT EVEN MEANT TO BE IN THE FIRST PLACE OKAY….). But, just as Jack’s character itself is flawed and awfully written, our female protagonist Ellie is SOOOOOO early 2000s. Just think of the most typical stock supportive, sweet, pretty, unfailingly kind and patient female whose presence is taken for granted etc etc… So her stock sweetie pie female character coupled with the most unbelievably charmless and unlikable male character make for the most unshippable couple you could possibly imagine. We are supposed to be charmed by her obvious-to-everyone-except-him love for Jack, supposed to have our heartstrings tugged by the singular scene of teenage schoolgirl her standing by the wings of the stage with hearts in her eyes while teenage schoolboy him sings a most soulless rendition of Wonderwall but it literally does absolutely nothing. The means has not met the end! This is a grossly uninspiring love story and there is no fantasy whatsoever!!

Honestly how is this even a Danny Boyle product? But then again… Zhang Yimou, boasting the incredibly genius Raise the Red Lantern (1992) on his resume, also did The Great Wall (2016) so I guess even heroes have the right to bleed or even the best fall down sometimes or something. OMG WAIT  I just googled the film again and not only is it directed by Danny Boyle but also written by Richard Curtis LOL wtfffffffffff okay this is the worst film ever seriously

Early on just after the global blackout thing, before Jack becomes the huge superstar that he does after his music (“his” music) is released into the world, when he first decides to use the songs of The Beatles, he is cajoled by his parents into performing for them in their humble living room. (by the way his parents are played by Sanjeev Bhaskar and Meera Syal who I have LITERALLY seen in about 1000 British TV shows and movies by now… idk maybe Yesterday was intended as a semi-ensemble cast film? Since there are other “appearances” by other known faces… ok whatever.) I guess this scene of him, superstar-to-be, sitting down at his piano in the claustrophobic living room with his parents exaggerating their domestic inclinations and comforts (by holding their cups of tea and settling themselves into their sofa-chairs etc) is meant to be comedic, we’re meant to laugh at how his parents have no idea the genius that is about to be released unto the stratosphere embodied by their all-great son Jack Malik, and it’s a predictable scene: his parents get disturbed by the bell and other things in the first 10 seconds of his performance, so Jack has to begin Let It Be 4 times over and never gets past a few lines… and okay, it’s funny because they are treating Jack’s “performance” as such because he has never before produced anything worthy of actual attention and has never performed in any manner that has demanded any respect given that he was an absolutely mediocre singer, but the scene is ruined by how Jack was written to have to react. Instead of taking it in his stride and recognizing that his parents are taking it so lightly because they have no idea how big the song is going to be because they have had no reason to expect anything great of him before, Jack throws a big fucking tantrum and asks why they cannot and have not respected the greatest song to ever be written etc etc… and okay, maybe this was intentional because we are to infer that Jack’s reaction is a projection of his own insecurities about releasing entirely unoriginal songs as his own, perhaps he has doubts about whether they would do as well as they did when The Beatles themselves released them, perhaps he has doubts that he is the right person to do this at all, anxieties and fears about being able to get away with it all… Sure, but I don’t want to give the writers the benefit of this doubt. If I were to watch the scene with my eyes and ears and not my brain, all I’d see is a dumbass manchild with a temper and ego problem incapable of accepting responsibility for the decisions he’s made, plus being unnecessarily cruel and disrespectful to his simple parents who want only to support him, if superficially. Basically, he’s dumb and the worst protagonist you’d want for a romcom.

But let it not be said that I am an extremist with my views: there was one sub-plot that showed promise and that made me think perhaps there was more to this film than the nothingness it had conveyed hitherto. When Jack played in Moscow, as an opening act for Ed Sheeran, we saw the haunting face of a large man in the crowd, carrying a knowing look in his eyes. It gave us a great sense of unease, seeing his concerned face contrasted with the throng of pretty girls screaming their hearts out (you know, à la “Moscow girls make me sing and shout”). Then later we see an English lady (played by the iconic amazing Sarah Lancashire who I know and love so so much from Happy Valley), who like the Russian man, carries the same speculation in her sharp eyes, as she sees Jack manically making his way through Liverpool, visiting key landmarks like Eleanor Rigby’s grave, Strawberry Fields, Penny Lane etc because, as she says to him later, “you cant write songs about places you’ve never been to”. So anyway, this odd pairing make up the only 2 other known humans in the world who for unexplained reasons also remember the existence of The Beatles, and thus recognize that Jack’s positioning of the entire Beatles discography as his own original work to be fraudulent.

So we as audiences who hardly care for this dumbass Jack but have still held on to some hope that the film would bring us some element of surprise and karma for this annoying fraud (whose singing voice by the way is literally the most forgettable ever), we would have loved nothing more than for Jack to face the sound of music (as Mother Mary comes to him). But instead of, I dunno, chopping his head off or outing him to the world, the mysterious duo thank him for bringing their much beloved Beatles songs back into the world, the whole who has forgotten them. They thank him for doing justice to the memory of the greatest band of all time, and together the duo and Jack dance and cheer in a side room minutes before Jack goes out to perform for the biggest crowd he’s ever played to. It’s just…  lame and not even a satisfying easy way out. Oh remember above when i said there was literally only about one scene of Jack smiling, this was it. And he only smiled because obviously he was relieved at not having his secret revealed to the world by these two..... ughhh WE DONT WANT TO SEE YOU HAPPY!! WE HATE U!!

Okay haha I shall end this as I do all my other ‘reviews’… by saying that I’m lazy already and cant really be bothered to continue but shall conclude by proclaiming that this film sucked… not in a remotely camp or quiet or interesting manner either. It was just boring and bad and of great disrespect to the music of The Beatles.

 -------------------

Omg I have just attempted to read some actual reviews of this film and some actually think it’s ‘charming’ and ‘surprisingly moving’ and that the leads have ‘chemistry’………….. that’s literally the fakest thing I’ve ever heard lol bye bye!

[typhonatemybaby]

I stumbled across this article on twitter the other day and IMO it represents simultaneously the worst and most socially positive elements of what a lot of people think about when they think about scottish independence. Im from Scotland and support independence in the current climate, but for a variety of reasons, some of which are identical to the standard pro-indy platform, some wildly divergent. It starts off well enough, by poking a few holes in Ruth Davidsons generally tepid takes on the broad campaign for independence as well as highlighting her hypocrisy as regards her take on nationalism in general ( cue timely reference to the infamous tank photograph). After this the author takes the tack of using this as a platform for arguing for: “ ...the independence movement to challenge her "thinking" (quote marks very much needed) by giving stronger and more coherent meaning to the philosophy of our cause.“

Which in general is a program i support, especially given that the nature of the mainstream lines of the debate have sort of solidified into entrenched positions since indyref 1.0. However Im broadly speaking an anarchist so any chance of my actual views getting into the rhetoric of the independence debate is pretty slim. Regardless we crack on and Mr Mcalpine immediately starts talking about academic theories and conceptions of nationalism, which i would agree is a fair point to start. However this is also where i start to run int trouble with this article. Instead of using the theories he has outlined to help approach the matter materialistically and even state which of these he believes is closer to accuracy ( though to be fair he does do this later), McAlpine immediately simply lays them out as an offering and moves on to his first major calumny. I find it fitting that he does this after making the error that all online anarchos love to point out : “ oooooh you assumed the nation state is a good model at ALL. you FOOL” etc etc

So what is this first major issue? well:

“Because here's the thing – there is more or less no person in the world who is not wholly reliant on and deeply committed to the nation state system. I get deeply irritated by the 'citizen of the world' crowd who, hypocritically, expect someone else's nation state to provide the police to protect their MacBooks as they check into a hotel in someone else's country using someone else's roads paid for by someone else's nation state raising taxes on their population.

If you are a fascist, an anarcho-syndicalist, a theocrat or a believer in undemocratic kingdoms or empires, or of a single world government, then you have taken a legitimate position from which to attack nationalism. Everyone else is some kind of nationalist.”

Fuck me, bad post op.

First of all this is, for someone who just ragged on Ruth Davidson for not knowing about academic theories of nationalism in human society, this guy displays a total absence of knowledge when it comes to literally any of the ideological positions he’s just listed. Secondly, given the way this guy seems to conceive of nationalism i find the ( I assume rhetorical) claim he makes that  “everyone is some kind of nationalist” to be somewhat farcical. Some people deliberately extricate themselves form this mode of thinking. some never fall into it at all and others merely drift away. Its either that or he is going for the Orwell argument, in which case, buddy, me and my  pal Max have some news for you. 

On the other hand if McAlpine is making the argument that “ we all live within political systems pervaded by the importance of the nation-state” or something along those lines, then frankly that’s one hell of a circular point seeing as he proselytizes the idea of Nation States as inherently legitimate, or at least seems to. If this latter argument is being made here then its not wildly different to that time Louise Mensch got up of Have I Got News For You and complained that anti capitalists protesters were idiots because they’d probably consumed capitalist goods. Not least i find this disgusting because of his insistence on the conception of “our roads” as if humans can cut out cubes of the air and trademark them. A criticism of tourist-colonialism is very justified, i agree, and the idea that the colonized nation, repressed by the colonizer is legitimate in resistance is one that many would say carries some water, but here he turns it utterly on its head, not only by arguing that Scotland is in any way similar to being an imperial colony in any significant degree, but also by turning this argument into a complete unconscious capitulation to the essentialism of the republic. Mcalpine worships the citizen, and now because of it anyone can build upon that ideological failure to wring up whatever evolved form of essentialism they may choose. It is from this that the whole failure of much of the self described civic nationalists springs. Their ideology has replaced the old totem with a new one and now the imagined republic forms what they strive for. It will of course never exist, vote or no. I happily voted Yes once and will do so again, but while i described myself as a civic nationalist last time i don’t any longer. I dont think this article really vindicates why anyone should

In that it is treated differently within the UK political landscape by the powers that be it is more akin to a collection of low priority constituencies, safe seats that neither side is compelled to compete over and thus will not invest in. The vestiges of serious English/Scottish violent tension or the post 1707 internal repression are not actually materially important any more. Scots aren’t being brutally oppressed in that way any more. In the Current material conditions it is about austerity over the course of decades, the aftermath of industrial collapse and regrowth, and cutting away from the worst of liberalism and neoliberalism, into a situation where things are merely bad and not catastrophic.

its for this reason that im skeptical of the premise of his next section: that civic, cultural and ethnic nationalism are fundamentally different. Different they are, but not inextricably so. in fact i believe they are merely faces of each other, and because the idea of nationalism does not allow for people to actually escape that loop, are suited to merely melt into each other as the climate requires. If you cant imagine the “ someone elses roads” rhetoric coming out of the mouth of certain other UK political figures mouths. Mcalpine attempts to escape this by stating that he sees the shades of grey and the nuances inherent in the problems of all these theories, but i would argue that the three distinct ideas of nationalism he has outlined do not form separate trends or tendencies, but that they chase each other in a spiral. I believe they have a dialectical relationship. 

(Getting wildly off the rails I would liken it to Clausewitz’s “ fascinating trinity”, where three separate components of a concept that at first glance each seem the essential component, each rely on each other and by their own presence force the other aspects to relate to them.* The actual philosophical difference between civic and ethnic nationalism is particularly tenuous for reasons which i should not have to elucidate. These are not separate categories. They are elements in dialectical conversation with each other and each exists in the nationalist ideal, if you look in the right places. Creating a theory of the modern nation state isn't like picking different pokemon at the start of the game)

*I am aware of course that this is obscure as hell. feel free to ignore it Anyway getting back on track: I think that by this point another key error in the Civic nationalist platform should be clear by now: the notion that civic nationalism stands somehow as a desperately radical stance against globalization and modern consumerism, or even that it would materially represent a desperately different way of being from such things. Neither of these things are really expressly mentioned in this article as it isn't really the place for that massive discussion yet i personally get the feeling that we should briefly discuss them nonetheless. The Civic nationalist tendency amongst the main camp of the Independence movement in Scotland frequently effectively offers Scottish nationalism/independence as a bulwark, both materially and ideologically against “ the bad capitalism” presuming their own to be so much better. Again this isn't mentioned in McAlpines article, so its not like its at all his fault but i feel the need, as someone in favor of Independence and as an anti-capitalist who takes a Marxian analysis of capitalist economics to reiterate that this position is blatant nonsense

Anyway Mcalpine then knocks it right out of the park with the inclusion of a joke YouTube video, which to be fair takes a nice swing at BBC British nationalist propaganda, which is to be fair pretty horrendous. This section is a little edgy but whatever. He then moves on to complain that Sturgeon has had to avoid the word “ nationalist” in her rhetoric. Frankly i normally have no problem with the idea of nationalism being unpopular, but his point that it is being made unusable by the deliberate propagandist manipulation of the silent nationalism of the British political landscape (lmao) is an accurate one. Nationalism isn't what those people are arguing against. they are arguing for their own nationalism and their own power. Next up, after this worthwhile insight is a quite positive point, the heart of which i understand but at same time cannot stand alongside: The fixed idea of the citizen and citizenry is again raised. Difference and the validity of such is celebrated. All is Utopian. All is then sacrificed. the preponderance of the nation state over the citizen immediately re-erupts onto the scene, as the citizens become components of the national project. Which is inevitably going to cave to bog standard capitalist exploitation no matter how Utopian you make your Tomorrow-Scotland. Surplus Value is still Surplus Value regardless who the extractor is. McAlpine is not willing to accept this however and states:

“ This means that I believe nationalism is a function of people – that the nation state is explicitly a contract between each of its citizens, and not a contract between individuals and 'the state'. “ ...to which i can only respond with “ yeah right”. 

He reiterates his imagined distinction between movement for a nation of citizens and affinity groups and relations, and old school patriotism and rightly criticizes it as a subservience to power, yet fails to reflect on such a notion within a nation.  The rest of this article i cant really bring myself to criticize because it is genuinely clearly rather heartfelt in a way which i too have felt and sympathize with:  snipe though i may I still sympathize with the general platform and the desires behind it: for a better way of living. Further the general premise of the article is made into a rather useful request at the end, even if i still feel that the author failed to live up to it: 

“ If only we could show more courage in defining what our project is about at a fundamental level...” 

Well to the author i say this: if that project is independence please count me as, though a critic, an ally. But if it is nationalism then i would encourage you to see which spooks and phantasms still haunt you and to see which wheels turn in your head.

[radsee]

You write? What kind of things do you usually write? (And may we see some!)

Oh gosh ;-; It’s not like pro writer stuff, I’m not working on a book or anything. It’s mostly for roleplays and stuff. Usually Homestuck roleplays where I’m in a SBURB session with some of my other friends! Uhh gosh, here let me pull some stuff up from an old SBURB session. It’s gonna be just different shots of the story. A lot of stuff. Read below the cut!

>Vela: Enter.

Your eyes had closed when the flash of light blinded you momentarily. Were you dead? Were you in heaven? Why did heaven smell like a dusty old attic and salty tears? You opened your eyes, immediately looking out the window. Oh yeah, you weren't in Kansas anymore. Or, Alaska, rather. This place was definitely different. You looked down at the handle in front of you. Or lack thereof. It worked? Holy shit it worked. You were right, you DID just need to wait. What a stupid challenge. Not that you were impatient. Maybe in the last seconds of certain doom you were a bit. Oh heck, you thought you were a goner for sure. And then. What did you see? The meteor that was coming towards you had. What was it? Cracked? Broke? Froze? 

 You suppose it didn't matter. You were alive and still in your attic. And your face. Well damn, it got a little wet there. You rubbed your eyes with the sleave of your jacket, pulling yourself together again. Man, how uncool to lose your cool. You stood up and took one more look outside to make sure you weren't hallucinating or anything. Maybe you were. Maybe you accidentally took acid somehow even though you're sure you don't have any drugs and have never had any drugs in your home. What dealer would come all the way to the middle of a snowy forest anyway? 

 Okay, concentrate kid. This is no time to be thinking about drug dealers. You shake off the stupid thought and head downstairs again. It was probably a good idea to check your sister's room now, to see if she was okay. Let's see...

It's no surprise the door was locked. Entering your sister's most sacred dwelling was forbidden. Not that you ever wanted to ever go in there anyway. But now you needed to. You knock on the door a bit loudly, hoping for an answer. 

None came. 

Alright, well usually when she didn't answer it meant she wasn't there. But hey, maybe she was unconscious? Maybe the quaking made her fall face first into a mirror, or maybe she accidentally stabbed herself with one of her sewing needles. Maybe she was dead. Oh god, maybe she was dead.

>Vela: Get a hold of yo damn self. 

You fool, stop thinking stuff like that. Your mind doesn't need to be clogged up with unhelpful thoughts like drug dealers and dead sisters. You knock louder. Still no answer. Come on sis, where were you? Fine, maybe she wasn't really in her room. You decided to go downstairs and check the other living areas. The living room? No. That place was just filled with those machines Gavin had put down for you. Wait where did that seizure orb go? 

Hold on hold on. One thing at a time. Sister first, seizure orb later. You made your way to the kitchen. No one there. Then the bathroom, then finally you made your way back upstairs. Last place to check, you supposed. Your parents study.

It was never in use. Not usually. But you found your sister in there sometimes, although you yourself tended to avoid it, since your sister never wanted you in there. It was locked, just as was her room. But that didn't matter. Because you, in fact, had a key. You'd swiped the key from your sister a while ago, feigning innocence and making it seem that the key was just indefinitely lost, forcing your sister to create a new one. 

You stood by the entrance to the room, contemplating. Then uncaptchalogued the key you always kept in your sylladex. Then opened the door. There were shelves upon shelves of old books here. Sometimes you thought about reading those books. But your sister forbade you. And even though you had the key. It was really just. A matter of when the right time would be to sneak in. You supposed this was as good a time as any. But upon entering the room, your sister was nowhere to be found. 

Now this is. Dismal. Your Sister was nowhere at all here. The only place you haven't truly checked is her room. And if she was there and just dead, well. Did you really want to just go in there and see that? You walked further into the study and sat down on one of the comfortable couches. Oh man. This was bad. You ran a frustrated hand through your short hair. Maybe if you waited, she'd come for you. Maybe if you stayed put, she'd find you. But... 

???: I think. The one you seek. Has left. The premises.

>Vela: Screech like a banshee and shit yourself. 

Actually, no. You were startled, but not that startled. Although you did jump a bit onto the couch, bringing your legs up. You look around. Where had that voice come from? Was it talking about your Sister? Why did it sound so. Unsettling. 

Well, that last question could be answered pretty easily. It was a mysterious voice that seemingly came from nowhere talking about what you could only assume was your Sister. since that's the only person you were actually looking for. And if that wasn't creepy, you don't know what is. You look around the dusty old study for the source. 

Vela: ...um... hey man.... listen... 

Vela: if youre like. a demon haunting me or something, i just gotta warn you right now 

Vela: i have holy water Vela: and salt 

Vela: and i will shit fury all over you with the word of the lord, dont test me okay i will blast you through all seven layers of hell 

???: ....... 

Vela: ....... 

Vela: or was it 8 layers?? 9 layers?? 

Vela: ill send you to onion hell and youll have to deal with all those layers okay im seriou-inhALE -AAAAAAA 

Your spiel about onions and layers was suddenly interrupted by your own shocked scream as you turned your head to come face to face with a ghost-like being, who seemed to have appeared so suddenly and out of nowhere. He looked to you as if he was studying you. Thinking, contemplating. His fist was under his chin and his other hand holding his elbow. Despite not having legs, his ghosty tail was positioned in a way that made him look like he was closing in on himself. Sitting in the air, very crampedly, as his shoulders were lifted and his head lowered towards you. He looked like he was in an invisible box. Or just that he was too deep in thought to care about his posture. Probably the latter.

That's not quite what had frightened you so much, though. What had really gotten to you was the fact that this ghosty figure. Was cracked. Familiarly so. Like. Like the statuette you had thrown at that seizure orb thing? A part of his face was cracked and missing, leaving him with only one eye. He looked like he could break apart at any moment. Yeah. This wasn't terrifying.

>Vela: Screech like a banshee and shit yourself now? 

Maybe not that second part, but you did screech for a good few seconds before you needed to catch your breath again. Your breathing became irregular as you felt the onset of a panic attack rising in your chest. Lord have mercy, you never really had any holy water or salt on you, you weren't prepared for this. You just BARELY escaped from being crushed by a meteor and now you were gonna die by the hands of. What- a contemplative looking demon?? 

???: ...... 

???: I think. You should. Take a moment. To maybe. Chill. 

Vela: ...Hhh-....Hhh-....hhHH-HH-hhH--HHH-HHHHHH 

???: ....I. Do not think. You are attempting. To carry out. My suggestion. At all. 

Okay, okay maybe the floaty statue ghost was right. You gotta chill. You take more regular deep breaths to try and calm yourself, closing your eyes a bit in the process. Perhaps when you open them, he'll be gone? Nope. Still there. Okay, this was fine. 

Vela: ...... 

???: ..... Have you. Chilled? 

Vela: ... y..es im. im chill. im totes chill my dude.. haaha, its all good 

???: That. Is good. I think. 

Vela: yeah haha im pretty sure its good too. 

???: ..... 

Vela: ....... 

???: ...... ........ 

Vela: ...... sooo 

???: Ah... Yes... I think. You would like. An explanation. Would you not? 

Vela: yeah uh, yeah man i think i would like an explanation 

???: ....Very. Well. 

Thinksprite: I. Am Thinksprite.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. After several seconds of staring at Thinksprite, still wondering what the fuck is happening, you slowly reached for your phone. It was the memo, and there were quite a few notifications from before that you hadn't noticed. Hm. You looked between your phone and Thinksprite. Maybe now was as good a time as any to tell everyone what's happening with you. But most importantly, to let them know you were still alive.

Vela: ... um okay im. gonna talk to my friends real quick is that okay 

Thinksprite: I think. That is alright. 

Vela: uh. yeah okay great 

You opened your phone to respond to the memo.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Vela: Alchemise, dawg. 

So just get a whole bunch of random items? Sure, why not. You went to the kitchen and decided to take the meat cleaver from the top cupboard. Careful now. Then you went to the living room and grabbed a random handheld mirror from a small table. It was decorated with many jewels and eloquent designs. It belonged to your sister but I'm sure she wouldn't mind you using it. You then went to the Punch Designix. Time to do a whole bunch of random shit with these cards and the totem lathe/Alchemy thing and hope for the best. 

> Meat Cleaver && Hand Mirror = Vanity Cleavage. 

Oh my god. You need to stop yourself from bursting out in stupid laughter. What a name, truly perfect for this mixture. Okay, what else could you do with this machine? 

> Vanity Cleavage || Snow Shovel = Razzle Digazzler 

Now THIS is AWESOME. Your snow shovel suddenly became so much sharper. And prettier. Now you can whack monsters in style. Your Sis would be proud.

Now what? You made a thing. Should you make more things? You're not sure you had enough uh. Power, perhaps, to create anything more. Maybe you needed to kill more of those monster dealios to get more of those sweet sweet organ remuneration. I mean those rock things that you collected earlier. 

You walk down the hall and to your room, opening the door- spEAK of the BLASTED DEMONS. There were imps everywhere. They looked. Oddly cracked and very demonic. And they were BREAKING your STUFF. Your precious equipment, oh no, oh dear, you worked SO HARD to get the money for that stuff. This wasn't going to pass. 

>Vela: Strife!

Oh yeah, you weren't having none of that. With your newly made Razzle Digazzler, you targeted the imp jumping up and down like a crazed lunatic, swiping at it sideways in an attempt to slice it's head off.

The blade smashed into the imp and soon enough, it was gone, leaving the gristy goods behind. One down. You then proceeded to fight off the other few imps. Mostly a combination of smashing, slicing and stabbing until your entire room was filled with Grist. You sighed a bit and collected the Grist laying around before deciding to take a rest on your chair at your laptop. Wowza, that was some work. 

You decided to check the memo on your laptop now. After that, you'd check up on Etna. He's been gone for a while and you wanted to make sure he was okay. Of course you should probably make sure Aqua and Gavin were okay too, but since you were Etna's Server Player, it was easier to see if he was alright.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat back on your chair, contemplating your life for a moment. Oh how did it get to this? How did this start? When will the wheels of time and fate move in your favour? Okay this was getting a little too deep. You won't get anything done just sitting there and wondering about where your life is gonna go. Gavin was too busy being a butterfinger to help build up your house. So you decided it was probably a good idea to go get more gushers for when Gavin decides to stop being a butterfinger.

You stand and pick up your Razzle Digazzler, since you had just set it on the side of your desk instead of putting it away. Then you took a step out your door. It was pretty easy to find those imps. Because they had accumulated everywhere in front of your door, in the hallway, and presumably in all the other rooms like a vile infestation.

It was time to dig some weeds. Or was the saying 'pull some weeds'? It didn't matter. You had a shovel and you were going to dig. 

>Vela: Strife!

You had been beating the crap out of any imp that you saw. Smashing, slicing, weird one-eighty kicks as you swung yourself around and put your weight on your Digazzler that held firm on the floor. You were getting the hang if this fighting stuff, even if all you've ever really done before was twirl a shovel like a ninja and hit yourself in the face a few times. You collected as much Grist as you possibly could before noticing the memo going off from your phone in your pocket. You decided to lock yourself in the bathroom so as to not be disturbed by any more imps and then opened the memo. Loud bangs suddenly came from the door of the bathroom that startled you, almost into dropping your phone into the toilet. You closed the toilet seat and sat down. 

Vela: OCCUPIED

When the banging didn't stop, you sighed. Guess you had to deal with this impatient rude dude. Can't people just wait their turn? You stood up and stretched a bit, feeling a little sore from moving around so much, but nothing you couldn't handle.

Vela: okay okayyyy ill be right ooout

You held your Digazzler firmly in your hand and went forward to open the door, ready to whack the heck out of anyone who was behind.

Except not as ready as you thought when it turned out there were three imps stacked on top of each other, creating some sort of imp Jumble game. As funny as that thought would have been, you didn't think that. Your mind froze, trying to figure out which imp to hit first. But the imp on top didn't give you enough time to come to the obvious conclusion that you should hit that one first. Almost the instant you opened the door, it jumped at you, ready to claw your eyes out.

Your heart pulsed harshly, your breath hitched sharply. Oh your beautiful face was going to get ruined. But something was off. What was it?

You sidestepped. And with your foot, you quickly opened the lid of the toilet, allowing the imp to fall in and for you to smash the toilet lid closed. You turned around, whacking the second imp that was coming towards you away and then smashed the third imp with the bottom of your shovel. Then, you stabbed the second imp before it could gather its bearings with the sharp blade of the shovel. The imp in the toilet still seemed to be alive, so you decided to tend to that. With one hand holding the stabbing weapon, you used the other to reach over and raise the toilet seat. Then slammed it down. Raised it up, slammed it down. It was almost a bit morbid, the way you were smashing this imp's head in. It finally burst into a pile of grist. The second imp had long since burst and the third imp regained its balance, only to see what had become of its friends. It began to back away. But there was a bit of a menacing look in your eyes. You raised your shovel, which told the imp that it needed to skedaddle fast. But there was no time. Somehow, you were quicker. Just too quick. You smashed down onto the imp and it burst a second later.

Man, what a wild bathroom ride. You took a moment to think before collecting the Grist. It was funny, it's like you had just enough time to do what you needed to.

[manoharis]

A Year in Review: Telugu Movies!

You can’t pay me to watch these (aka watch me roast them in 10 words or less)

Dictator - a Bala Krishna movie without animals in the title!

Krishnashtami - wyd Sunil.

Terror - the title aptly describes my feelings about this movie.

Guntur Talkies - lets just not. more like gun-to-ur head after watching this.

Attack - this wins for having a director and actor that Idc about!

Edo Raakam Ado Raakam - edho raakamaina torture.

Thikka - ee cinema choosaka vacchedi adhe

Jaguar -  just when you’ve thought twood’s exhausted the possible feline comparisions

I really really dont care:  Savitri, Raja Cheyyi Vesthe, Abbayitho Ammayi, Killing Veerappan, Express Raja, Naruda Donoruda, Hyper, Speedunodu, Garam, Nayaki

Nenu Sailaja -I had a lot of expectations for this movie because it was said to be “fresh” but there was really nothing new here. I loved Ram’s look, some of the comedy and most of the songs. Worth a watch but nothing ground-breaking. 

Nannaku Prematho -  A for effort? I just couldn’t connect to the film because I felt like the emotion was kind of artificial and didn’t really pull me in. I couldn’t get behind a lot of the “logic” in this film. Also there disruptive bgm in every scene which made it really hard to focus on the film. 

Soggade Chinni Nayana - I feel like this movie was targeted towards middle aged aunties lol. I love Nagarjuna and Ramya Krishna but there were one too many scenes where I was hiding my face from embarrassment. On the plus side, all the sarees in the movie were gorgeous !

Lacchimdeviki O Lekkundi - messy because of all the back and forth plot twists. Horror comedy is literally my least favorite genre so I didn’t like this.

Seethamma Andalu Ramaya Sutralu - below average; I don’t have much to say about this. If I hadn’t watched it, this would belong in the ‘I really don’t care’ list.

Krishnagadi Veera Prema Gaadha - I think I was drowsy when watching this (not because of the movie) so I honestly don’t remember anything but the beginning portion which was really funny. I need to rewatch this.

Malupu - I always love a good thriller but it could’ve been better. Aadhi Pinnisetty’s voice tho !!

Kshanam - FAVE !!! This was so good! again always down for a good thriller. Super gripping and just the right pace. I loved how in this the love story was relevant to the script. It was very well written, acted, and taken as well in terms of technicalities. I can definitely see it getting awards next year.

Kalyana Vaibhogame - The first half was loud and messy which made me almost stop watching it. With a premise like this, the story is extremely predictable, as in you knew the lead pair would fall in love eventually, it was just a matter of when. I thought the second half was pretty cute though.

Shourya – I know this is biased of me but I can’t remember the last movie of the Manchu brothers that I’ve seen because the kind of movies they make are just so not my type. However, when this movie came out I did hear some positive talk for it on twitter. But then it wasn’t talked about at all after like a week? So I’m not exactly sure how successful it was. I may watch it eventually but I’m not dying to see it lol

Run- This was the remake of Neram by Sundeep Kishan (side note: I really like Sundeep, so I was annoyed that he was doing a remake). I didn’t hear much about this either after the first week so I don’t think it did that well. However, I do want to watch it because I’ve been trying to watch Neram since forever but I could never find it with subtitles so I guess this is my chance to watch it, but a lesser version ofc. Although one of the main reasons I wanted to watch was for Nivin and Nazriya so this doesn’t really do much more me lmao

Oopiri – I haven’t seen the original so I really liked this! S/o to Nagarjuna for realizing fairly quickly that its time for him to more age appropriate roles (take notes @ chiranjeevi). This is why the Akkineni’s are my fave! (my bias is showing so much in this post but do I really care). anyways, I loved the chemistry between Karthi and Nagarjuna cause lbr their bromance was the real love story in this. Shriya’s appearance made the childhood shipper in me super happy. Overall, an enjoyable film with some great performances. 

Sardaar Gabbar Singh – The amount of hype this movie had, jfc. Tbh I don’t have anything major against Pawan Kalyan. He’s just not one of my favorites, and ngl I liked him in the early 2000s phase (i.e. before Gabbar Singh which is when his fans went to piccha peaks). His fan base is literally one of the worst. I just think they’re super extra and very disrespectful, esp at audio launches. So yes, I was happy that it flopped because one it put the pk fans in their place who were hyping this to no end. Also he wrote the story and screenplay for this and reading some reviews about that gave me life lmao. If you want to hear something good about this movie, Kajal looks stunning in all her princess-y clothes and a few of the songs are pretty good. 

Sarrainodu – I actually haven’t seen this yet but I do want to. Here I go being biased again lol. If this starred anyone I didn’t care for, I would have no interest in this movie but because it’s the fave, Allu Arjun, I have to watch it. I like a lot of the video songs and the music actually grew on me when I was forced to listen to it A LOT in India over the summer. Also he looks hella good, I’m sold, bye. 

Supreme – Ok this movie was huge in India over the summer. Everyone loved it and ngl I used the phrase “its amazing zing zing” about a thousand times among my cousins without even having seen it. I tried watching it once I got back and it was just too much loud comedy for me to handle and I never finished it. 

Brahmotsavam – oh lord. TOO SOON. Jk, I’m over it. Easily the biggest disappointment of 2016 in terms of what was promised and what was delivered. I literally followed this movie since it was even rumored to be happening because Mahesh and Sreekanth Addala. Then Mickey J Meyer was brought on and then Samantha and I was just so hyped. I think the fact that I was dying to watch this in theaters and then I didn’t even want to watch it once it was online, says a lot. I was just really shocked that everyone, fans and non-fans alike panned it especially when it involved sooo many people. The second hand embarrassment is too real. But I did eventually watch it and what the actual hell. There was literally no story, no coherence, and way too many irrelevant characters. Mahesh has a pattern of delivering blockbusters after massive flops so here’s hoping the best for his next!

A…Aa: I have so many feelings about this movie. Trivikram is one of my most favorite directors/writers and has been for a long time. With Attarintiki Daredi, I was pretty disappointed that he went full on commercial and I thought he lost some of his touch. That changed a bit with Son of Satyamurthy (but I feel like a majority of the reason that I liked that movie is bc of Allu Arjun lol). But yeah anyway, A…Aa is still a very commercial movie, its not in any way niche. However, I think Trivikram finally struck the balance of substance and commerciality which made it an entertaining movie while also leaving you with something to think about. The story was actually very simple and something that’s definitely been done before, but the screenplay had Trivikram’s name all over it. It was apparent in every single dialogue. He also pulled out some spectacular performances that were subdued but well done. I remember Samantha saying in an interview that because this is Trivikram’s third movie with her, he knows when she’s reusing an expression which forced her to improve her performance. When the movie was announced, I was kind of disappointed that Nithiin was in it because he’s never been a favorite of mine but I fell in love with him after this. I think in a lot of his movies he tries to do the typical commercial hero act and its obvious that he borrows heavily from Pawan Kalyan’s style. But in this his characterization was very subdued and painted him as  a common guy which made him a lot more likable. It was also easier to ship the lead pair because the star aura tends to overshadow the chemistry but here I was really able to see the characters instead of the actors behind them. I just wished the story was more unique but otherwise a really good movie!

Okka Ammayi Thappa - Sundeep really needs to promote his movies more because they always seem to go under the radar. I was actually really excited for this because Sundeep & Nithya as the lead pair. I’m pretty sure its one of those movies that takes place in the span of a single day which I love bc if you can stretch a day into a full film, its gotta be one hell of a day. Not sure if this was a hit or not but I definitely want to check it out once its online.

Gentleman – (Spoiler Free). This was pretty good! A nice balance of romance and suspense. The story was intriguing and the performances were well done. I didn’t like the comedy though. The situational humor was fine but I hated the comedy track and I felt like it made the movie so much slower than it needed to be.

Oka Manasu - I was so hyped for this cause I love Naga Shourya and Niharika but apparently this was very slow and boring. I hope this doesn’t discourage Niharika from doing more movies because tollywood really needs some actual telugu actresses. (Side Note: Allu Arjun’s speech at this movie’s audio launch !! He basically called out the PK fans in a long 10 mins lecture and it gave me lifeee)

Pelli Choopulu - FAVE!!! Truly a new age rom com. I watched this in a theater in India and I loved it! The story was fresh, engaging, and hilarious. I loved how the characters were very realistic and reflective of actual youth and not hero-like at all. Also s/o for the strong female characterization !! You go Chitra! I think it did an amazing job of combining comedy, romance, social issues, and emotion into a very believable and enjoyable film. And not to forget the music which is so so good. Also, I’m gonna quote this movie in my grave. 

Manamantha - I looove movies that have multiple inter-related stories. The four characters and their respective stories were written well with each character tackling a unique situation. Overall, I liked it, but it definitely could have been better.

Srirasthu Subhamastu - I watched this in India and it was nice to see it on the big screen because the best part of this movie was the grandeur of production. Starring in a movie produced by your father clearly has its perks. I don’t really care about Allu Sirish but he’s still pretty new so to be fair he was pretty good in this. The story is very very routine and predictable but I remember liking the dialogues

Babu Bangaram - I don’t think this was a hit? But fiiinally, Venky in a movie that’s not a remake, which ofc didn’t last long cause his next is a remake smh. 

Janatha Garage - This movie was apparently the biggest hit of 2016 in terms of box office and imo its not deserving. The trailer for this movie made it seem really good but it was a disappointment in the end. The thing with Koratala Siva’s movies is that he always has a good social message but then commercializes it way too much. I understand what he’s trying to do but I wish he’d cut down on the violence and focus on the actual issue. This couldve been a really amazing movie about environmentalism but it turned into something really routine. Im also annoyed that a stellar cast of NTR, Mohanlal, Samantha, and Nithya was wasted on such a mediocre movie.

Jo Achyutananda - This was pretty good. As per the director’s style, it was very simple with life-like characters. The story was very interesting but I thought it was pretty anti-climactic and definitely could have been taken to another level. S/o for Nani’s cameo towards the end which sadly was the only male eye candy (sorrynotsorry).

Majnu -  Even though this is Nani’s movie and I usually have high expectations for his movies, I didn’t expect much from this. The movie didn’t offer anything spectacular. The plot started off pretty interesting but then went the routine rom- com path. It gets a fair share of laughs and the music is fabulous but otherwise underwhelming.

Abhinetri - I haven’t seen this yet and I don’t really care tbh but I’ll probably watch it eventually.

Mana Oori Ramayanam - This seems really interesting from the trailer. Definitely a niche film and I don’t think it did well commercially but I want to see it.

Premam - What do I say about this that won’t get me hate lmao. I haven’t seen this yet but it received pretty good reviews as well as commercial success. I don’t support remakes ofc but I know I’ll end up watching this eventually. I’m glad that Naga Chaitanya is back on track again ?

Saahasam Swasaga Saagipo - I really want to watch this because romance + thriller is my faaave. I don’t think this was that big of a hit but Im still excited to see it. The album is amazing and I assume the bgm will be as well. Also s/o for Naga Chaitanya’s look in this movie which is his best yet imo. Is it just me or has he become so much more attractive now that he’s unavaible lol.

Ekkadiki Pothavu Chinnavada - I haven’t seen this yet, but heard that it was really good! Seems like another Karthikeya-type movie? Who would’ve guessed that Nikhil would be most successful actor from the Happy Days gang (besides tamanna ofc).

Jayammbu Nishchayambu Raa - same as above ^, haven’t seen, heard it was good.Other than that, I’m glad a small film got acclaim.

Dhruva - How much credit can you give to a remake ? I haven’t seen this or the original but I know I’ll probably like it. 

Overall I think 2016 was a pretty good year for movies with many of the successes coming from small budget films which seems to be an increasing trend in Tollywood. The fact that Sardaar Gabbar Singh and Brahmotsavam were total box office disasters even though they starred arguably the two biggest stars in TFI shows that the majority of audiences crave content over star power which I’m all here for!