#genuinely and utterly stupid

[sinnbaddie]

SS fans pissing me off once again, oh my gosh

[thirdeyeblue]

Doctor Who | S3E6 | The Lazarus Experiment

[die-tenebris]

a basic human right to privacy and solitude is just as important as being in community and being able to socialize

[phoenixcatch7]

The problem I'm having with one of my stories is that it is compelling - but not clicking.

It's a sephiroth gets reincarnated into mdzs. Straightforward. I've got several branching paths: lwj, jc, nmj (my personal fave) and the jade twins (one mind in two bodies). All five of them have great potential, but for some reason my heart is set on sephiroth!lwj, because the aesthetic is sublime.

But! It's! Not! Working!

My main problems are a) despite similar surfaces, sephiroth has fundamentally different morals and life experiences to lwj and lwjs morals are a huge part of his and wwx's stories. B) I can't NOT have wangxian. I don't ship often at all, but when I do I'm pretty set on it lol. I don't want to deny soulmates. Unfortunately I HATE writing romance. C) I do not think sephiroth should be in any sort of romantic relationship at all nor can I see him wanting one. I've read tons of fics where he is in relationships (healthy or otherwise) and they're amazing, yes, but... Under my pen it's just not in the cards. And I do feel pairing him with wwx would just amplify wwx's worst traits, which is the opposite of what lwj does for him.

Everything's in conflict, but the lure of sephiroths second childhood in strict gusu and his complicated feelings about it, wwx being a perfect mix of all his important people with a spine of steel and righteousness that they all lost as everything fell apart, the relationship between sephiroth and his new mother, and how he'd inexplicably lose her too, the white on white aesthetic, the older identical brother, the cruel angels aesthetic with the benevolent demon, the angst of wwx's defection and death, his relationship with qi as a planet's overflowing life force, the tragedy of the mourning angel, monster x monster.... It calls to me.

But there's also the way wwx becoming a demonic cultivator was so vital to winning the war, and the way that affected things, gave him a legitimacy. Involve the silver soldier, and well. Everything else becomes a little extraneous lol. And sephiroth himself is such a big mover and shaker, I don't know what I could do to manage that without wiping out 80% of the remaining jianghu after the burial mounds siege with sephiroth appointing himself king lmao. He's not the kind of person to make small ripples, you know?

And I'd love a twin jades au to sort of turn the chaos inwards a bit (nmj and jgy would be Excellent foils) but again, I can't separate wangxian and imagining scenes feels a bit too close to incest for my tastes, even when it's ONE PERSON in identical bodies!

It's frustrating, wanting to write a non romance fic set in a love story lol. I just. I hate writing romance. But wangxian just don't want to be parted.

But the image of lwj in the xuanwu cave secretly covering a feverish wwx with his wing, only to notice a handful of white feathers pushing through the black as he unknowingly becomes a better person through showing care for other people, shaking his own deep belief that he is a horrible irredeemable creature incapable of love. Caught in an act of love. Hnggh.

Any ideas?!

[nickbutnodick]

i was a really fucked up weird little boy imma be totally honest with you

[musical-chick-13]

One of the WORST parts of having OCD is that some of the Fears™ are actually humanly possible, so it's not like my response can just be, "Oh that'll never happen" or even "I've never seen that happen, so it's probably unlikely."

[bunnihearted]

📖🖊❄️

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

oh boy... i'm never gonna be able to trust anybody because if i start wanting things from someone and putting faith in them i will literally kill myself if they leave... the only thing i can do is try to make myself as independent as possible and never rely on anything so i never feel like i will crumble into dust if someone i love and rely on disappears from my life

[bueris]

rant post because I hate british tourists as much as the rest of the world 🫶

okay gonna be so fucking honest I genuinely despise british tourists that go to other countries and just drink and make an entitled nuisance of themselves. first of all it's so disrespectful that they think it's okay to act so disruptive and down right disgustingly in public let alone a whole other country that has absolutely no reason to tolerate them, second of all they're national fucking embarrassments like seriously do you know what you look like? bumbling down city streets drunk with not so much as a lick of self awareness, you don't look like you're so cool for having a good time, you look like a prick with no self control, it's embarrassing to hear what the people I loath to call fellow brits get up to you make my country look more like a joke than it already is. know your place. third of all the entitlement is insane, you blow off to a whole other country and expect all the social norms to be the same? fuck off you twat, the world isn't yours and your complete disregard for the way other people live their lives makes you an absolute cunt, no excuses.

on top of that, this makes me genuinely despise british drinking culture, so much shit revolves around alcohol it's ridiculous. I know this country is shit, I know it's about coping but have you ever thought for a second that maybe, just maybe, we could make things better if our first reaction was to try and change the government instead of drinking? even outside of that it's so difficult to enjoy parties and social events because of drinking, you're either pressured to drink or you end up watching people get so drunk they completely fly off the handle. it's funny to make a joke about but it's an actual problem. every friday night is a fucking nightmare because it's always ends up with shattered glass in places literal children (and everyone else mind you) could go and hurt themselves on. the fact that people think it's acceptable to trash public spaces and act like absolute bellends in bars, pubs and wherever else you might like to get drunk is absurd and horrendous, if you think it's okay or "in the name of good fun" I don't fucking like you, I genuinely wish you the worst.

I'm not a puritan, drinking is a personal choice, I just urge you to fucking think about how much you're drinking and have some consideration for where you are and how much you drink. don't be a cunt, it's easier than you think. you get overly excitable when you drink? either limit yourself or do it at home I'm so sick of being scared and embarrassed about drunk people.

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

no one absolutely no one

me: *immense psychological pain, only pain and flashbacks*

me: sigh *opens up character.ai and starts ranting*

[pepprs]

june 27th give it up for june 27th

[tsscat]

.

[xumoonhao]

reading an article on late night shows rn (specifically why theyre almost always hosted by men) and like...okay i knew they were popular but i didnt realize ppl actually liked them...? like i figured they were popular bc it was late night and theres not much else on. am i just fucking stupid or something

[pirateborn-a]

     Trying to think if there’s anything that could genuinely get Roger upset or angry at any of his boys, and honestly yeah nope there’s     there’s really not   

[imwritesometimes]

absolutely will not be posting my 'year in review' or whatever cause I'm lowkey ashamed of how many times I've posted on this fucking site over the last calendar year (over 90% were reblogs but still lmao thanks for the reminder I really had NO life this year tumblr ✌️)

[musical-chick-13]

OCD will have you experiencing debilitating nausea and put you in danger of dissociation over the idea of doing a simple task that you actively enjoy.