#and how utterly stupid they would get around my mother
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
thirdeyeblue · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Doctor Who | S3E6 | The Lazarus Experiment
217 notes · View notes
widevibratobitch · 7 months ago
Text
.
#im so tired of this lalalalalalalalaa#something is Wrong lol#i really need this therapy on wednesday but guess WHAT im not going. im going to a funeral instead 🤡#and ill be singing in that stupid fucking church because have to but i dont fucking wanna i hate doing it and i hate churches#all i feel rn is the overwhelming urge to selfdestruct and like obv im not gonna kms now#but im so fucking angry that im not even *allowed* to do that anymore. like it was such a comfort all this time to know that i can just Quit#and now i cant because guess what someone has to take care of my mother 🫠 and im so fucking tired of being someone people depend on#to handle THEIR feelings and THEIR emotions and just take it all with humility and acceptance and kindness and never snap and bite back#like i dont WANNA hear about your dead husband i dont wanna hear about your stupid fucking boyfriend#i dont wanna hear about the new guy/girl who's hitting on you because you're so hot and perfect#i dont wanna be responsible for how people feel. i should just shut up and take it and be humble and never ask or expect anything back#but when is it MY turn to call at 1 am crying about how im tired and want to kms#or to start expecting shit of people and allow myself to get properly angry at them for not meeting those expectations#or to braggingly 'complain' about something the other person clearly lacks without any consideration for their feelings#or to just openly cry and say deeply personal shit without any filter not caring if that other person is clearly uncomfortable af#because *i* need it right now and i need someone to listen and let them worry about how to even respond to that stuff#im just so tired of people expecting shit of me im tired of being made responsible even tho i clearly cannot handle that responsibility#i wanna be mean i wanna snap and get angry and openly say that i dont give a shit and am tired and cant listen to this rn#but i cant because i have to be a motherfucking mother theresa and never dare to demand something for myself#and idk where that comes from. idk if it's coming from the fanatic catholicism of my childhood or my mother or just from myself and idc#i just feel so horrible and guilty and wrong for wanting anything for myself#and it once again feels like im making myself the victim and the tortured martyr here when i should just shut up and take it#i just wanna lie down and die and not care about who'll get angry or judge or blame me for it im tired and i dont know what to do#i want someone to take care of ME and reassure ME and make ME feel like i matter and that they really will help me if i ever need it#and that they'd be kinda sad if i were gone not because i had a role to fulfill that i failed at by killing myself but because i am a person#<- math calculations flying around my head as i come to the terrible realisation#of just why exactly im so deeply obsessed with my voice teacher (aside from her being literally the most beautiful woman alive lol) 🤡#like babygirl stop being so utterly overwhelmingly kind to me my knees are weak i would do anything for you queen and I MEAN IT
2 notes · View notes
chelseeebe · 3 months ago
Text
just a taste
Tumblr media
18+. mdni. smut. kinda perv!eddie x fem!reader. he is a lil freaky in this i'll admit.
a/n: i just love the idea of the citrus six all living together lol idk i think it’s so nice also i have never watched cheers i just googled 1991 american tv shows and picked one at random LMAO ++ for the movie, i thought it’d be a nice lil easter egg for them to watch something with winona in:,)
✧・゚: ✧・゚:
eddie doesn’t know who you are or why you’re coming to visit or why exactly it was him that was being made to vacate his room for the two weeks that you were here. 
“c’mon eddie,” robin pleads, nay, demands, “you sleep on the couch most nights anyway, what’s the difference?” 
“uh, maybe because it’s my room? i don’t want some random girl in there touching my stuff,” almost flabbergasted that she’s even asking. 
“she’s not a random girl,” robin frowns, “she’s my friend and she needs somewhere to stay.” 
“tell her there’s a great hotel in town,” rolling his eyes, trying to leave the conversation before she breaks out the puppy dog eyes. "i'll even give her a ride if you ask nicely," no longer interested in entertaining this conversation.
“i’ll give you fifty bucks,” robin deadpans, using her last resort.
this was bribery of the highest order but eddie's not stupid. fifty bucks is fifty bucks.
“now?” 
she sighs, sliding her wallet from her pocket to reluctantly hand over the bill. she stops just before it touches his palm, “promise you’ll clean your room.” 
eddie goes to grab the paper but robin’s faster, jolting her hand into the air, “and change your sheets.” 
“okay,” he huffs, holding his palm outstretched. 
she graciously places the note down, smiling wickedly as she does so before skipping off back to her own room. 
he can only roll his eyes, turning around to the shit hole that was his room, wondering if fifty dollars was worth having to tackle it. 
-
eddie’s sat on the couch when you arrive, barely looking back as robin begins to fuss, talking loudly about your journey. he doesn’t really care enough to involve himself, besides, elvis presley had just given sam a very important message. 
“eddie,” robin hisses, standing in front of the screen, “don’t be rude, say hello,” her hands firmly on her hips like she was his mother or something. 
he looks up at the looming figure by the couch, hoping his eyes hadn’t given his immediate shock away too much. 
you flash him a sheepish smile back, waggling your fingers in a short wave. 
two weeks on the couch didn’t seem so bad now. 
not if you were sleeping in his bed. 
it’s just a shame that he wouldn’t be in there sharing it. 
“hey,” he stands, hoping to indiscreetly catch his breath, “i’m- uh, i’m eddie,” offering his hand out, though he regrets it as soon as it’s done. 
who shakes hands now? christ. he needed to get a grip, and badly. 
“hey,” you reply, your name dripping from your tongue. though you do shake his hand, not bothering to hide your confusion in the process. 
“eddie very kindly said you could have his room,” a bright, big sarcastic smile on her lips. 
“yeah.. no biggie..” christ, he’s almost panting. “do whatever you want in there.. or you know, just- just make yourself at home.” 
his desperate pleas for the earth to split open and swallow him whole go unanswered. instead, robin shoots him a concerned glare before ushering you away from his weird, longing gaze. 
'pull it together loser' she mouths before disappearing, leaving him to reflect upon how utterly hard he had just fumbled that entire situation. 
-
when everyone’s home from work and you’ve exchanged niceties and greetings with the rest of the house, robin brightly suggests a movie. 
eddie usually hated movie nights in the house. 
jonathan would want to watch some indie cult classic that no one else had ever heard of, steve wanted to watch some dumb comedy that only he’d find funny and then nancy and robin typically opted for the romance genre. 
leaving eddie and argyle with absolutely no choice but to sit in silence as they bickered. 
tonight it’s different, you get to pick. 
and now he’s not saying that whatever you choose will forever change the way he views you but.. well, that’s actually exactly it. 
you land on edward scissorhands. 
not the worst choice you could’ve made, and hey, his mom used to call him edward when he was in real bad trouble. 
in the end, it doesn’t really matter what you had picked because eddie can’t muster up enough energy to actually care about the film. not while your thighs are peeking out from underneath your oversized shirt. he can’t help but wonder what they’d feel like wrapped around his ears. what previous sounds would fall out of your mouth in response.
at some point during the movie, you stand up and walk out of the room to the kitchen but that doesn’t stop him. staring through the open door, marvelling at the way the hem of your shirt lifts, exposing the tiny shorts you had on underneath. 
he’s practically hanging over the back of the couch to get a look, craning his neck at a ninety degree angle just to get a glimpse of your soft, pillowy skin. pinching himself as he tries to resist the urge to just sink his teeth into your inner thigh.
robin jabs her elbow into his ribcage, drawing his eyes back to the room with a grunt and a harsh glare thrown her way. 
“you’ve been staring at her all night,” she whispers angrily into his ear, “stop it, or next time it’s your balls,” a harsh warning he didn’t find entirely necessary. 
you sidle back into the room, drink in hand and eddie can’t help but let his eyes wander over again, short glances that robin hopefully wouldn’t pick up on. 
he can’t help it, some magnetic force swaying his gaze in your direction. he wishes so badly that he could just crawl out of his head and tell you how much he wanted you. 
unfortunately for eddie, he’d instead spend the night dreaming of your ass and all the ways he could have you if he’d only grow a backbone. 
-
living alongside you is an entirely new feat eddie’s not sure he’ll survive. 
it’s torturous. 
testing the limits of how ridiculously horny one man can get without self-imploding. 
so close and yet so far. each night you’d tuck yourself into his bed, doing god knows what in between his sheets all without eddie getting a look in.
of course he’d made up a hundred different scenarios to fall asleep to each night. 
his favourite being the one where he walks into his bedroom to find you mouth open, legs apart, too encapsulated in your pleasure to notice him. only until you do, inviting him closer, between those supple thighs of yours, a forbidden nirvana he’ll never get to know. 
though more often than not he’s cruelly forced back into reality by robin ripping the curtains open at the ass crack of dawn, blaring sunlight on his face as you slip away from the grapples of his dream land. 
now is his opportunity, the house quiet, bar the muffled giggles of you and robin upstairs. he’s safe for now, he thinks, rather foolishly. it’s late, the rest of them asleep or too busy in their own rooms to catch him in the act. 
eddie’s never done anything like this before. it’s disgusting, perverted to the core. 
good grief, this is prosecutable behaviour. 
tiptoeing down the hall to his room, the door open just a crack, enticing him in further. he can still hear you on the floor above, giving him enough confidence to push it open a little more, edging inside with a quick glance back down the hall, just in case. 
gratefully it seemed that you were just as messy as he was, your clothes strewn across the floor. his eyes immediately turning to the peeking of lace from under the pile. glancing one last time at the cracked door, ensuring that absolutely nobody would see him. 
reaching down to gather the fabric in one quick swoop, bunching them in his palm as he lets out a quick sigh of relief. 
oh fuck. they were so soft, fingers spreading to really get a feel. he wasn't even going to take them, he'd just wanted a little look, something to help his overactive imagination get all the important details right.
“what are you doing?” startling him in this precarious position, the lace of your underwear entangled around his fingertips. 
eddie freezes, he can feel the heat rising through his chest, all the way up to the tips of his ears. scarlet red. 
“uh.. i..i-i don’t know..” he hasn’t done anything like this before, he swears. 
your mouth is open in a sort of half-smirk, half-perplexed gawp, closing the door before he could bolt. 
you move around the mess, creeping closer until he can feel you brushing against his side, peering over into his hand. 
“oh wow..” you remark, breath hot and sweet against his cheek, “what were you gonna do with those?” 
eddie feels sick, trying not to projectile vomit across his room. there’s no way you wouldn’t tell robin. fuck. he could hear you now, voice full of disgust, robin laughing at how pathetic he was. 
“n-nothing i swear..” stumbling through his sentence, “i was just..” excuses fail to come to mind, “i was uhm.. looking for something,” the absolute best his flustered mind to muster up. 
“oh really?” reaching around to untangle them from his hand, “you sure about that?” 
there’s no anger to your voice, but he doesn’t dare turn around to look at your face. afraid of what he’ll find. your eyes pitying, sad that he has to root around your dirty laundry to get off. 
“i’m- i’m sure,” though the crack in his voice gives him away. 
you hum, coming around to stand in front of his gormless face, “so you don’t wanna keep these?” holding the evidence up to his face, the hem just barely grazing his cheek. 
eddie’s knees almost buckle, his breath shuddering as any semblance of composure he had left, floats right out the window. 
“here,” reaching forward to tuck the baby blue fabric into the waistband of his sweatpants, your eyes never once leaving his as you do so. “you keep those.. but next time just ask, okay?” 
he nods like an obedient dog, lapping up the scraps you were throwing him. he could stand here all night long, keeping up the weird little power game you’d started. 
“goodnight eddie,” you smile, giving him a gentle nudge, a sign for him to get the fuck out. 
you were the master, he was just the lap dog, eager to please. 
-
at breakfast the next morning, he struggles to even keep his eyes open. having spent an embarrassingly long amount of time on the couch last night shamelessly sniffing the lace you’d gifted him. 
you don’t even acknowledge it, or him for that matter. happily chatting along with nancy about some news article. 
“oh and eddie,” robin begins, flashing him a stern look, “i don’t appreciate finding your fucking panties in between the couch cushions,” 
he chokes on his mouthful, his knife clattering against the table in shock. a multitude of eyes turn to stare at the spectacle he was making. 
“they’re- they’re not mine,” clearing his throat as he clears his name, though he doesn’t dare look in your direction, terrified that he’d absolutely lose his mind if he did. 
“well whoever’s they are, i don’t care, stop leaving them on the couch.. i’m sure our guest doesn’t want to sit amongst dirty underwear,” she bites, calming down now she had gotten her point across. 
if only she knew. 
eddie must’ve fallen asleep with them still attached to his hand, thanking his lucky stars that no one had walked in on him with them pressed to his nose.  
he keeps his head low, focusing on the plate in front of him. nothing had ever been as mortifying as this. not even the time he had slipped off the dinner table in the middle of the cafeteria. 
cutlery scrapes and clinks against the china, uncomfortable silence until argyle clears his throat, “gnarly meal robin, thanks dude,” seemingly settling the tense atmosphere, for now. 
everybody hums in agreement, getting back to their food without another word. but your eyes peek up, meeting his with an indescribable glint. and really, the worst part is that eddie would sit through this horrific situation a hundred more times, just for one more measly sniff at your panties. 
-
eddie can’t take it anymore. 
he’s never been so pent up in his entire life. and he’s tried to hold on until he could move back into his room but he couldn’t last any longer. 
but he’s careful, waiting for everyone to trundle on off to bed, listening carefully for the muted click of the light switch and even then, waiting another hour to be sure. 
the clock glares an alarming 1:04 by the time his belt clinks and his jeans come down, the first of them would be awake in just a few hours, ready to take you on to the airport. 
he wishes it would’ve played out differently, that he wouldn’t be sat here on the last night of your stay alone. but alas, eddie’s never been particularly brave and especially not in regards to hot women. 
your panties wrapped around his right hand as he spits on his left, wrapping around his stiff cock while his fingertips play with the lace in his other hand. 
“ohh fuck,” he hisses, wanting nothing more than to start hollering the house down. 
robin wouldn’t be too pleased if she ever found out what he’d done. and he can’t really afford to get the entire couch dry-cleaned so he really must be careful. 
thinking quick, he shoves his t-shirt into his mouth, muffling the chorus of grunts and groans threatening to spill over into the dark room. the muted light from the tv illuminates his face, breathing loudly through his nose 
he hadn’t heard the door open or the soft sound of your feet padding down the hall, only made aware of your presence when he reopens his eyes, near enough jumping out of his bones. 
how long had you been there watching him shudder and whine?
“fuck,” he exclaims, fist still wrapped tight around his throbbing cock, too aroused to care about it too much. 
“you want some help with that?” 
eddie looks at his dick, then back at you, mouth hung open in a mixture of awe and confusion. 
it’s not very clear but you move closer anyway, sinking to your knees and nestling in between his spread legs. 
“okay?” maintaining eye contact despite how difficult it was, eyes bright and eager. 
he nods, unable to comprehend what was happening. knowing he’d wake up from this twisted dream to some soggy boxers and a whole lotta shame. 
your palm wraps around the base of his cock, shooing his hands away to make room, smiling as your lips wrap around the already leaking tip. were you a psychopath? were you placed on this earth to goad and tease him?
this isn’t real. this isn’t real. the voice repeats around his head though it’s quickly silenced by your tongue swirling circles around the tip of his cock, readjusting his t-shirt to bite down harshly on the fabric. 
eddie’s hands lay useless on his thighs, twitching to intertwine with your hair, still doubting the reality of the situation. this could all be a dream and the second he touches your hair, you’d disappear from in front of his eyes.
the t-shirt falls from his lips, “fuuck,” grunting into the tense air, gritting his teeth so as to not expose your precarious position to the rest of the house. 
the wet sounds of your lips wrapped tight around his cock make his toes curl, his hands find your hair, not without prompting from you. tugging gently at the tendrils as his head starts to spin. 
when your eyes look up to meet his, eddie thinks he might just cum right down your throat then and there. he can see that troublesome glint in your eye, a roaring fire that he so desperately wants to keep stoking. 
your fingers slide up his thigh, finding his neglected balls and with a slight smirk, you grab ahold, gently fondling them as his brain melts out of his ears. 
no one had ever, ever made him feel so good. collectively losing brain cells when you hum on his cock, getting just as much out of this as he was. 
“oh yeah, fuck- shit fuck, i’mcummingi’mcummingi’mcumming,” eddie’s mouth rushes, louder than he ever should’ve been. bright flashes of light fill his peripheral, using your scalp as leverage to keep himself on the couch. 
his hips stutter, thrusting into your mouth with his fingers tight in your hair, yanking harshly in an effort to get your lips off of him before he came everywhere. 
you don’t budge, nails digging into his thigh as his release seeps down your throat, his eyes squeezing shut as his fist instinctively comes up to muffle his mouth, moaning into his clammy palm instead of alerting the entire house. 
eddie’s other hand lets go of his strong hold on your hair, allowing you to get off of his dick, panting happily as you sit up between his knees and with lips glistening with his release, you kiss him. all soft and gentle while his brain fails to compute. 
it should be gross. but eddie just can’t find it in himself to care, because in reality, this was the hottest thing that had ever happened in his measly little life. 
“please let me taste you,” he begs between kisses, grasping desperately at your waist, the fabric of your shirt slipping between his desperate fingers.
you giggle, pulling back to look at him through the dimmed light, “not now,” you hover just above, constantly teasing and unobtainable
“well when?" jutting his bottom lip out in hopes it'd convince you to change your mind.
"when i'm back," letting him down gently. eddie'd count the seconds till you came back if that was what it took to get even a tiny glimpse of your pussy.
“what time do you leave?” he pants, chasing your lips. eddie was nothing if not a chancer, though if it hadn't happened already, there's a miniscule chance of it happening now.
“seven,” whispering back, a hint of annoyance that this build up had only crescendoed now, just as you were about to leave. he'll blame robin for that, poking her nose in and trying to turn him off. it shouldn't have worked. he should've been braver.
“but it’s your turn,” an awful sadness and regret overcoming him. someone better, someone like steve, would've had you pinned to that couch by now, his head between your thighs and your slick dripping down his chin.  
“next time,” only repeating yourself, smiling coyly before you plant one last kiss to his longing lips before standing fully upright and disappearing back off to his room, leaving him reeling with a story nobody else would ever believe.
2K notes · View notes
renjunphile · 7 months ago
Text
for the rest of ours ᡣ𐭩 song eunseok
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
୨♡୧ WORD COUNT: 13.4k ୨♡୧ PAIRING: riize's song eunseok x female!reader ୨♡୧ TAGS & WARNINGS: chaebol heirs!au, rich kids!au, one sided enemies to lovers!au, arranged marriage!au, angsty at the start, overall fluff, reader is selfish and mean to eunseok for a good chunk of the story, brief unrequited love but y/n is an unreliable narrator tbh, second chance romance, she fell first but he fell harder trope, drinking, partying, non linear narrative
୨♡୧ SYNOPSIS: you find song eunseok to be utterly and despicably insufferable. too bad he's your fiancé since birth! and there was nothing you could do about it!
୨♡୧ NOTES: OHHHH im having such an intense eunseok rot that i had to write the most gut wrenching and nonsensical piece that becomes to sickeningly fluffy at the end. theyre just so in love with each other and there's literally no plot at all!!!!!!!!!!! lowkey one of the worst pieces i've written in recent times since i rushed it but i will edit and add scenes and plot in the future :> but for now, enjoy! ♡ i.b let my by zayn at the end :)
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
It may be disturbing for some and horrifying to say, but your eyes hadn't even fully formed in the womb to open and your limbs weren't even well defined enough to have joints when your life was signed off to another's. For goodness' sake, it had barely even been a month since your tiny, minuscule heart started beating! What would the Song's have done if you grew up ugly?
You sighed to yourself, muttering under your breath how Korea's third richest family should be grateful you were akin to art in anyone's eyes. You were looking through the dusty photo albums that the housekeeper found while tidying the primary study of the mansion, and you grimaced at the photos of your fiancé that appeared from even the very first page.
It was bad enough that you were engaged before you were born, but did he really have to attend your birth? He probably didn't even have memories then! But there it was, under your fingertips: a perfectly preserved photo of a 3-month old Eunseok bundled up in sleep suit being posed next to where the nurses placed you after they literally just took you out of your mother. You don't even think the umbilical cord had been cut yet.
"Y/N, Mr. Song is outside," your favourite housekeeper coos at you from the double doors going into the study. You give her a terse smile and stand up from your father's office chair, straightening your silk gown before taking her hand as she helped you down the marble stairs of your home.
You roll your eyes (mostly to yourself, but you didn't mind if he noticed) as you saw his car parked at the bottom of the stairs leading to your front door.
"You can't even be bothered to come and collect me? Or open the door for me?" you sneer as soon as you settled yourself into the passenger seat.
"Well hello to you too, my lovely wife," Eunseok smirks, immediately revving and setting off around the fountain of your courtyard.
"I'm not your wife," you snap, deciding to ignore when the word 'yet' seems to slip under his breath, "But seriously Eunseok? This car? I'm going to look so stupid trying to get out of this car in my dress and heels. Why do you love sitting on the floor so much?"
Eunseok has an extensive car range. One that any car junkie would envy, but Song Eunseok knew nothing about cars. He just had them because he could. This car was a sports car where you had to sit in such a ridiculous position just so the car could look cool on the outside.
"It's white!" he defends himself, slightly whining in a cute way to which you swallow down a positive reaction. His eyes flicker over to you momentarily and his tongue traces across his bottom lip, "You look gorgeous, by the way. Very bridal."
You're wearing a white silk dress that looks like it's made for your body. It's draped so beautifully around your hips and hugs every part that needs to be accentuated. You loved this dress the second you saw it in Paris, but you never thought then that it would be used for this occasion. 
"Just shut up and drive," you quip. It takes a few moments of silence for you to feel bad even though his expression remains neutral and you sigh, "I guess you don't look too bad."
"Aw, I knew you were in love with me!" he teases again, a phrase he liked to use every time you said something to him that wasn't snarky, sarcastic or an insult.
You choose not to reply, instead taking in the bright lights of Seoul as he pulls into a main road. You haven't been back in a while, holing yourself up in your penthouse in Manhattan, but you always loved the sight of home.
"But seriously, Y/N," Eunseok coughs to get your attention, his voice dropping down low and suddenly serious, "This actually might be your last chance to back out of this. Just say the word and I'll turn this car around and take you straight to Incheon and you can run away around the world long enough until they find me a new bride."
You turn to look at him, perplexed by his words, "And you? You actually want to get hitched off to some random?"
Eunseok shrugs, not meeting your eyes, "You're not some random. I've known you since you were born. I've known you'd be my wife since the day I could understand what that meant. But if I have to find a replacement because you don't want to do it anymore, I will."
"Gee, ever the gentleman," you deadpan, "I think want is a pretty strong word. I don't want to marry you, but I guess I will."
"You're not backing out? Not leaving me looking stupid up on the altar?" Eunseok taps his finger on the leather steering wheel.
You think about his words sincerely. There's really nothing more in the world that you'd love than to run away to a small little town on the southern coast of Italy- somewhere quaint and quiet where you'd find love and spend the rest of your days cooking, cleaning, baking and finding peace in the ocean. There's nothing more in the world that you want more than for someone to ask to marry you because they were in love with your soul and not having you by their side would be like torture in the cruelest form.
Alas, you're Kang Y/N of the powerful Kang family, the eldest child of your father and the next heir waiting to take over the conglomerate. And because you're Kang Y/N, the eldest daughter of the second richest family in Korea, you were contracted to marry the first son of the third richest family in Korea. After that, your companies would merge and you would overtake the Kim's as the sole ruler of the country.
"It's my duty," you swallow nervously as you begin to recognise the streets of where you were driving, signalling that you were soon approaching the venue, "It's fine, Eunseok."
"I wish it wasn't just fine. I wish this was what you wanted." he breathes out and your heart stops beating for a second before anger seeps in through the cracks of your heart.
"Do you think it's any girl's dream to marry someone that doesn't love them?"
Eunseok sighs as he presses on the breaks, moving through the lifted barrier where they had closed a portion of the street in anticipation for his car and your arrival. He twists his body to look at you, "Y/N-"
"It's fine, Eunseok," you grit your teeth as you repeat your words, eyes trained on the paparazzi camped out on the steps of the venue, eager to get a glimpse of you, "Let's just get this engagement party over with."
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
Song Eunseok had to follow you around the world like a lost puppy.
When you said that you wanted to go to that boarding school in Switzerland where only the richest sent their kids, Eunseok was in the seat next to you on that first class flight. When you said that you were going to Oxford to study for your undergraduate degree, Eunseok was tossing away his dream to study at Harvard to join you getting drunk at 18 under the grey British sky. When you said that you wanted to do your masters at Columbia so you could live in New York City, Eunseok was moving into the apartment across yours while he worked at the company his dad created in New York just for him to have something to do there.
If you said jump, Eunseok had to say how high?
That was just the name of the game considering the Song's had more to gain from this arrangement. Your family was richer. Your family was in a greater range of industries. Your family's money went back a lot further than the Song's. And you- you were the most stunning woman in Eunseok's eyes and because of him, you were stripped of your choice to fall in love. That's why the Song family gave you princess treatment from the second you were able to demand things. 
You had protested until your vocal cords went raw when they found out that they were sending Eunseok to university with you. For years up until you turned 18, you had imagined finally getting away from Eunseok for once, even if just for 3 years. He had always talked about Harvard and with the grades to boot, you thought that you'd finally have an ocean separating you.
It certainly wasn't an easy fight at the airport as you threatened to drop out of university the second that you even stepped foot into the new country. All your father did was bat his eyelashes and give you a heartfelt, "Please, princess? Just do this for us."
The phrase 'just do this for us' nearly knocked you sick nowadays after over 2 decades of hearing it spew out of your father's mouth. Ultimately, yes, you were lucky to have such a loving family that never pushed anything evil or truly despicable onto you. This was the one thing they needed from you. They obliged every want and wish for the trade-off of giving your hand in marriage to the Song's first born son.
In June of your third year of university, a couple months out from your graduation, Eunseok turned up at your door completely drunk.
"What are you doing here?" your arms were crossed tightly, trying to cover as much of yourself as possible as you were clad in the smallest pyjamas for the British summer heat.
He grinned goofily up at you, eyes lazily fluttering open and closed, "Hi, Y/N. I'm drunk." He was leaning against the doorway, nearly making out with the frame.
"I can see that," you sniffed the air and grimaced, "And smell it. But what are you doing here?"
"Can't I visit my lovely fiancée on her 21st birthday?" he batted his long eyelashes sweetly at you, taking one step into the apartment. You gazed at him hesitantly, taking one step back.
"I don't think anyone would appreciate their fiancé turning up on their doorstep piss drunk at 2am," you spat, "If you truly wanted to wish me a happy birthday, you would have left me alone."
"I lost my keys," Eunseok groaned, "I didn't know where else to go."
It should be sweet that out of all the places he could have chosen to go to in the city, he went to yours. Instead, it made you feel angrier.
"Eunseok, stop bothering me," your words contrasted your actions as you pulled him into your apartment and locked the door behind him, "Go sleep in the spare bedroom and leave as soon as you wake up. I'm going out for breakfast with my friends tomorrow so lock the door behind you and keep the key with you 'til you see me next." You pulled the spare key out of the drawer and placed it in his pocket.
Like a pathetic dog, Eunseok followed behind you as you led him through the apartment your parents had bought for you.
"Can I sleep with you?" he murmured.
"In your dreams, Song," you retorted, stopping in front of the spare room door, "Plus, you stink like shit."
"Ah, it's okay," he sighed dreamily, resting his head against the door, "We have the rest of forever to sleep beside each other."
You let out a frustrated screech, shoving his chest, "Can you let me live in peace? Why do you have to keep reminding me?"
"In the hopes that one day the thought of it won't make you sick or angry," he replied, opening the door of the room.
Your strong gaze faltered, "What are you- in love with me?"
"No," Eunseok shook his head, "I could learn to though, if you wanted me to."
"The only thing I want from you is to be far away from me," you ran your hands through your hair to soothe yourself, "And even that you can't do."
"I'm sorry, Y/N. Thanks for letting me stay," Eunseok gave up on his tyranny and dropped his voice, "Happy birthday."
You muster up a near half-smile, turning to return to your bed where you'd be tossing and turning until your alarm went off, "Goodnight Eunseok."
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
The worst thing about your arrangement with Eunseok was that it was kept secret.
Of course, it was an open secret in your families and to the company- and there were always rumours about it since you two ended up always together around the world. But it wasn't like it was announced to the world at any point to protect the prospective merger happening when you and Eunseok came of age.
That made relationships very hard indeed. It always had to end in heartbreak, at least for the other person.
The two of you agreed that you could see other people if you wanted to, and you agreed on this the same day you had your very first heartbreak.
"Eunseok, can we talk?" you poked his side to catch his attention. Eunseok was bouncing his basketball up and down while he spoke with his friends just outside the school courts. It had been 2 months since you moved back to Korea after spending 3 years in Switzerland at boarding school, where you quickly became homesick. Eunseok followed you home immediately.
Your fiancé bid his friends goodbye and gave you a sweet smile, "Yeah of course. What's up?"
You led him to the adjacent square that was thankfully deserted and settled just under the bloomed cherry blossom tree in the middle, "Um."
Eunseok giggled at your hesitancy and pushed your hair behind your ear, "What is it?"
16 year old you blushed terrifically at that moment, highlighting your plump cheeks and shining eyes as Eunseok peered down at you.
"I know this is um, pretty stupid," you began, breaking his stare and looking down at your Prada loafers, "Well basically, my friend Jimin- you know Jimin?- she told me to-"
"Just say it, Y/N."
"I like you?"
It came out more of a question as you quirked your eyebrow up at your fiancé.
His eyes went wide, taking in a deep breath, "Y/N. You," he paused, "You like me?"
"Yeah," you exhaled, "Is that so bad? We're going to get married someday."
Eunseok looked around and noticed his friends turning the corner to the courtyard, presumably to look for him, "Look, Y/N, I'm sorry but I thought we were going to, you know, try experience life like how others do and meet people and do whatever we want to until they tell us we need to get married. I didn't think we were obliged to date."
Your eyes began to water and your lips began to quiver as sheer embarrassment sunk into your bones, "So what? You want to date around?"
Eunseok reached out to cup your face but you quickly took a step back, feeling humiliated and slightly bettayed, "I'm sorry Y/N. I didn't know you felt like this towards me. Look, can we talk later? I'll swing by your house after basketball practice, okay?"
From the ages of 0-16, you would say that you and Eunseok were close childhood friends. Even though you had no concept of marriage or love, your parents had forced the two of you to be together through every occasion with weekly play dates and attending the same schools. When you finally understood what being engaged to each other meant at around 12 years old, it made you swoon that you were going to spend the rest of your life with your best friend, who you'd always found endearingly cute. He became more handsome as the years went by and at 16, he was the object of all of your desires.
He was manly, he was protective, he was sporty and most of all, he treated you so well. He would run around town with you no question to go shopping and indulge you in all of your cravings even if you needed to have ice cream at 10pm in the dead of winter. He would take the train with you all around Switzerland to see different lakes and ski resorts. He would help you study in the library and pass you your favourite snacks whenever it seemed you were getting tired. He would give you his jacket on the breezy nights watching the local sports matches.
You were so blinded with your affection towards him that you had convinced yourself that he did those things because he liked you back. Because he wanted to treat his future wife well.
The day Eunseok stamped all over your little heart was the day you waged a one-sided war against him. Eventually, Eunseok began reciprocating your snarky attitude and the rest had been history.
You told your maids and house security to refuse entry to the grounds to Eunseok that night, but because of your parents' unconditional offer to Eunseok to make your house also his home, he had spent a good part of the night on the other side of your bedroom door trying to get you to open it so he could apologise. For a man you were once smitten for, it was easy to put on your headphones and drown him out until he got exhausted and left.
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
Eunseok opens the car door for you and offers out his hand. In the darkness of his car, you grimace slightly, but force yourself to take his hand and use your free hand to smooth your dress out as you exit the car. The flashes from the press are blinding and carry on all the way up to the bottom of the staircase leading into the venue your parents had hired for the evening.
You try to keep a pleasant smile on your face as Eunseok passes his keys to the valet men before wrapping his arms around your waist. It comes nearly naturally to him, from all the photos your parents had made you pose together in dating back a decade or two. But it's your first official public appearance together, so the flashes intensify and you're taken aback. Eunseok feels you stumble slightly and begins to lead you along the carpet rolled out up to the stairs.
There's shouting from every direction- asking where your dress was from, asking if you were dating, asking why you were with the 'rival' company's son all the time- nothing new to you. After you traverse up the stairs, the two of you turn around and give a small wave at the cameras. You feel Eunseok drop his head down to yours, so you nestle yourself into him a bit more. How sweet, you thought to yourself, pushing down the urge to throw up at all this fakeness.
"Last chance to run," Eunseok murmurs as the doorman opens the glass doors into the foyer.
"Are you begging me to?" you counter, "Why do you keep insisting I back out?"
"I'm not. I just feel guilty, so I'll make up a solution if you want to stop all of this," he whispers into your ear. To others, it's an endearing moment as you keep your face neutral.
"It is all your fault. You should feel guilty. I'm not doing this for you or your family, but for my family. If this is what they want, then I'll oblige," you nod your head firmly.
While Eunseok's family was definitely benefiting more from the merger, it did come with some advantages for your family too: less competition in the market, combined success superseding the current top conglomerate, and for your parents: the knowledge that their first born child was going to have someone that was born to and raised from a good and rich family- someone that would be able to take care of you no matter what and understand your life in a way no other civilian could.
You know that your parents' argument for you to marry this guy was weak- there were plenty of good, rich guys from other companies- but you had been happy with the arrangement at the start and by the time you were 16 and he was breaking your heart, the companies had already started slowly merging or putting the plans into place. It was honestly a shame to your parents that other than rejecting you, Eunseok really had no faults. He was always polite, always courteous and intelligent enough to take over the conglomerate with you when the time would come.
Eunseok drops his arm from your waist, instead sliding his finger between yours.
"Miss. Y/L/N, Mr. Song," your family's general assistant approaches you in the foyer with a tight smile, "The event is about to begin. Please follow me to the stage. Are your speeches prepared?"
"Mhm," you hum, tugging Eunseok with you behind your assistant, "The rest of the family are here?"
"Yes. They're waiting by the stage," she replies as nerves finally settle into your stomach. You suddenly can't even look at Eunseok anymore as the gravity of the situation clicks into your mind. After this, you were going to be officially engaged in front of the world and you were going to be his bride in no less than a year from now. There was no turning back anymore.
Eunseok has to shoot you a look to stop you shaking on the stage as your father and his begin their speeches about their company, and the new era and blah, blah, blah. You tune them out in order to focus on your breathing and make sure you don't barf the second you step up to the podium. After minutes of nonsense, you feel Eunseok place his hand on the small of your back, signalling you to take to the stand.
"Um," you began, suddenly losing all the lessons you had learned in your public speaking classes growing up, "Thank you all for joining us on this occassion. As my father said, we are transitioning into a new era of our company and as I take on the role of COO, we believe it's important to have good people by your side to support you. While my family and the Songs are joining together in business, we are also joining together in family," you look over at Eunseok, who gives you a reassuring nod, "Song Eunseok and I are to be wed in one year's time. We have been close friends and partners since we were born and I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be by my side. We can go into this business partnership fully trusting each other and our companies and we would be grateful if you could give us your support. Thank you."
You step away from the podiums as gasps ring through the crowd. The business venture was nearly an open secret in the industry, but your relationship with Eunseok was based on rumours only, having never confirmed it. Now that you have, it would stir up all these new rumours- were you only getting married for the merger? Did you two actually love each other? What about all the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes that had been conniving to get even a bit of your or Eunseok's time to beg for your hand in marriage?
Eunseok takes his place beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist again as your families smile together for the pictures. The engagement party also doubled as a celebration for the merger, so at least all of the spotlight wasn't on you.
You're glad that your friends are here. They're all business heirs too, since like attracted like at your school. Your best friend Minjeong attacks you with a hug the second you step down from the stage.
"Ah, my best friend is getting married," she sighs dreamily into your ear, "You know what, Y/N, at least he's handsome. It's harder to hate someone when they look that good."
"Then you marry him," you chide, half-joking, "The problem has never been his looks. It's the situation."
"He doesn't hate you half as much as you hate him," Minjeong tuts, "And he's in the same situation. He never got a choice either."
You know deep down that she's right, but you're committed to making his life hell until the ends of the earth for breaking your heart. If anyone could say anything about you, it was that you could hold a grudge.
"Whose side are you on?" you prod her arm, but she rolls her eyes and links arms with you to join Eunseok and his friends.
"Happy engagement, lovebirds," Sungchan greets you with two kisses on your cheeks, "So excited to be at your wedding."
"I'm sitting you at the back," you retort, sticking your tongue out. You hated that Eunseok's friends were genuinely nice and funny people. It was so hard to distance yourself from Eunseok when your friendship groups had been deeply intertwined since you all could walk.
"Not when I'm a groomsman, right Eunseok-ie?" Sungchan swings his arm around his friend's shoulder, pulling him close, "Now tell me, who's the best man?"
Eunseok shoves his arm off, "You can just draw straws for it."
"I'll be the best man, hyung," Seunghan grins cheekily, "I'll make sure to give a really good speech, okay?"
"It's almost as if it's a real wedding," you smile bitterly, "Jeong, you'll be my maid of honour right?"
"You have to ask me properly," Minjeong whines, "We're going to do this wedding right, okay? My best friend will only get married once. I'm not letting you let your wedding planner do everything; we've been planning our dream weddings since we were 10 so we'll do it according to that."
"C'mon Y/N," Wonbin bumps his shoulder with yours, "We can make it fun. We know you'd rather not marry hyung, but he had always been the groom in all the weddings you'd plan when you were young. Now it's like a dream come true."
"Yah, Park Wonbin," Eunseok grits his teeth at his friend for bringing up the past. You wince at the reminder as Minjeong slaps his arm.
"Y/N, I think your mother is calling over you and Eunseok to dance," Shotaro calls for you softly, and you turn around to see your mother desperately signalling to you to join her on the dance floor.
"I'll see you guys later," you bid your friends a goodbye as you follow Eunseok into the crowd.
The night crawls by. It's nearly painful as you fake a smile with every passerby and acquaintance who congratulates you for your engagement. It feels like you're getting stabbed in the heart over and over again as everyone coos over how in love the two of you seem and how they always knew you were going to end up together. It crushes you as Eunseok leans down to your ear while you dance, apologising for how this was your life.
You get into his car after the party. The ride home is silent, apart from the noise of the city around you that seeps in even through the rolled up windows. Eunseok won't even dare breathe too loud in fear of making your life even less like what you had dreamed it to be.
He pulls up to your house and you make a quick move to unbuckle your seatbelt and open the door in one motion, but Eunseok wraps his hand around your wrist gently, bringing you back down.
"What is it now, Song?" you sigh in frustration, closing your eyes in defeat.
"I know this night has made your hatred for me 10 times worse," Eunseok begins, shuffling in his seat to reach into his inside pocket, "And I know that what we have isn't real to you, but I thought you at least deserved this."
Your eyes flutter open and you look over to him. He uncurls his clenched hand, unveiling a shiny ring in the middle of his palm. You bite back the gasp that bubbles up through your throat, and you reluctantly take the ring between your fingers without looking at him.
It's exactly your dream ring. It's what you imagined the love of your life to propose with when you were younger. It's what you wanted to be someone's physical manifestation of their love and devotion to you. That makes it all the worse when it comes from Eunseok.
"I remembered," Eunseok reads your mind, "When we went ring shopping when we were young for fun because you wanted to make sure I would propose with the right ring. I hope it's still what you want."
You can't bear to look at Eunseok at all, so you clench the ring in your hand and open the door, "Goodnight Eunseok. Thank you. Get home safely."
There's 100 steps between your front door and your bedroom. It takes what's left of your energy to hold back the sobs that threaten to escape prematurely. As soon as your bedroom door clicks shut, you collapse against your floor and break down in tears.
Why did Song Eunseok have to be such a good man? Why did you have to hate him? He was yours now, and that was what younger you wanted all along. Why were you taking it out on him? You had been holding onto a grudge for so long and he had been trying to make amends in private ever since, despite going along with your whole enemies thing for his own fun.
You hated how you knew that Song Eunseok could and would give you the life you wanted. You hated how all you wanted to do was love him like it was your choice and for him to love you back like it was his. But in this world, you were privileged enough to have everything you ever wanted, aside from the choice to love whoever you wanted to.
You hated how you didn't even have a choice in loving someone who didn't love you back.
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
You fought with Eunseok nearly every time that you saw him through your university years. You found problems in the way he positioned himself too close to you and problems in the way he would distance himself and act like strangers when you did complain about that. You found problems in the way he didn't talk to other girls despite rejecting you and found problems when he would go on dates after you said that.
In short, Song Eunseok was a problem to you.
Yizhuo was forcing shots into your hands and demanding that you downed them with her as you tried to tune back in to the party going on around you. You couldn't think of anything else the second that Song Eunseok walked through the door arm in arm with some girl.
It was the last party of your undergraduate university days, since exams had finished and you were going to graduate in just a couple of weeks. Someone had rented out some kind of manor in the outskirts of Oxford, dedicated for everyone to stay at and party for a weekend. You knew the organiser through a friend of a friend, but everyone that had been invited was someone you either knew personally or knew of. The spoilt brats community at your university was large, but tight.
You obliged Yizhuo's request and bitterly downed the drink, hissing as it burned through your tracts, "What is this? It tastes disgusting."
"Alcohol isn't made to taste nice," she tutted at you, following your line of sight before sighing, "I guess it's time to get you more so you don't have to be sober looking at that."
Minjeong shook her head on the other side of you, "I can't believe he would bring someone here. He knew you'd be here. So disrespectful."
You saw that Eunseok was about to turn, so you quickly spin away in order to avoid eye contact, "It doesn't matter to me. We're not dating."
"But he's your fiancé," Yizhuo stomped in defiance, "He should have some respect for you."
"Since he didn't want to date me, i'd rather him date other people. Then it just looks like he rejected me because he didn't like me as a person," you affirmed, taking another shot with Minjeong.
"Y/N, please. You were 16 when you confessed and 16 year old boys don't have the most mature outlook on life," Minjeong argued, coughing after the bitter shot, "I'm sure he's not stupid anymore. You grew up hot and he's practically tripping over his own feet trying to chase after you."
"He's not chasing me," you scoffed, "He brought a girl here."
"Oh, you're impossible, Y/N," Yizhuo cried out, beginning to slur, "What do you actually want that poor boy to do? Even I would be confused with the way you act."
Your best friends have been trying to knock sense into you since you turned 18 and Eunseok gave up his dream to study at Harvard to be with you in England. They had claimed that Eunseok realised his feelings for you and wanted to make up for rejecting you. You claimed that if that was his intention, he would have told you that by now instead of pestering you by inserting himself into your new life without reason.
"He can do whatever he wants," you turned your nose up, "I don't care about him."
"Well you better act that way. He's coming," Minjeong warned you, suddenly disappearing with Yizhuo and leaving you stranded with your fiancé walking towards you.
It honestly felt like the grim reaper floating over in slow motion before he came to collect your soul. You fought hard to control the grimace on your face as he stopped in front of you.
"Y/N," he greeted softly, leaning in to give you a hug. You stood still, but you don't push him away. You ignored the way your heart skipped a beat when he pressed his cheek gently against the top of your head.
"Eunseok,"
"How were exams? You're graduating this year, right?" his head is tilted at you, eyes focused into yours.
"Why are you even asking? I'm sure you know my plans for the next 10 years considering you're still following me around," you scoffed, "Does your new girl know you're moving to New York after graduation so you can stalk me while I do my masters?"
"Are you jealous?" he smirked suddenly, gentle demeanour disappearing, "She's just a friend."
"Does she know that? I don't care what you do, Song. I just feel bad for the poor girl whose heart you're going to break when you tell her you're engaged," you feigned nonchalance, pouring yourself another shot, "I guess it's my fault for telling you to have your fun and experience things since apparently you'll be so devoid of love when you get married."
"Y/N," he trailed off, grabbing the soju bottle that had appeared in your hands, "You know it's not like that. I didn't mean it like that when I reject-"
"Save it, Song," you rolled your eyes, "Your girl is coming. Don't go blaming me when time comes to break her heart."
You turned away in time and managed to snatch back your alcohol before arms wrap around Eunseok's and a high pitch voice squeals to him about how she lost him. You find Sungchan somewhere in the crowd and convince him to call you a taxi to take you back into the town where your apartment was. Before he could even confirm the booking, you had already disappeared into the crowd, the shots you had taken truly seeping into your blood and making your head spin.
You don't really remember what happened the rest of that night, but if you try hard enough, you can remember being tucked into a bed on the third floor, big eyes peering down at you as you tossed under the duvet, a hunched figure sat at the end of the bed on the floor and a soft voice singing you to a deep slumber.
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
"It's gorgeous, darling," your mother's voice takes you out of the focus mode you're in. The sunlight seeps through the stained glass, illuminating the sunroom at the back of your house. If you look down through the windows, you'd find the garden that your mother has been cultivating for decades. The rose garden with its arches and its vines was where you'd dreamed to get proposed to when you were young.
"You think so?" you showed her the sketch in full, turning the pad, "Do you think it's easy enough to create in real life?"
"We can make anything you want happen," your mother takes a seat in the lounge chair next to yours.
"Can you make Eunseok love me back?" you hum dejectedly, shading in the corset of what would be your wedding dress.
"He does, sweetheart. You just refuse to see it," your mother swiftly utters, and you stop your drawing, clenching the pencil tightly in your fist.
"Why does everyone say that?" you growl, "Everyone but Eunseok."
"Because you act like you hate him. You act like marrying him is the worst thing in the world. You act like there's nothing he could say or do that would bring him back into your favour despite you loving him all these years," your mother is lecturing you now, "He follows your lead, my darling. He will go to the ends of the earth for you and he always has. What more does he have to do for you to accept the way he shows his love? What more can he do to have your forgiveness?"
There's tears welling up in your eyes and your mother takes the drawing pad away from you to examine the dress you had envisioned. She carries on while you chew your lip and fight back the tears.
"You're going to be beautiful in this dress. One year's time will fly by, so make amends with Eunseok by then. Even if you don't go into this marriage as lovers, at least go into it as friends. That will make your life easier."
"I don't want to be friends," you grit out.
"Mhm, you want all or nothing. Why don't you ask him, then? He threw the ball in your court when he asked you if this marriage is what you want. Someone who doesn't love you or care about you wouldn't give you the option to run away to save yourself, you know?" you hate how insightful your mother is as she grabs your left hand, "This ring is beautiful, Y/N. He knows your heart like it's his."
"Cause it is his," you choke as the tears begin falling, "And he stamped all over it 8 years ago."
"He was just a young boy back then. He's followed you all over the world to be by your side ever since. He's sacrificed his own life to make your dreams come true. You have no choice but to marry each other, but he's been making choices to give you the life you wanted," she strokes your hair gently, "Can you give the boy a chance?"
Over the years, your parents had apologised to you for putting you in such a situation. They had told you that if you truly, inside your heart, didn't want to get married to Song Eunseok, they would call the whole thing off. The marriage was a way to ensure the merger wouldn't go awry by putting you and Eunseok as collateral if one side ever did try to betray the other. Tying the two of you together in marriage was a way to prevent either families from ruining the other.
You considered putting a stop to things more times than you could count on your fingers, but selfishly, you would imagine yourself on a rocking chair on a porch, hair grey and skin wrinkly and when you would look over to see who would be on the other chair, Eunseok was the only one you could imagine with you.
"But I've treated him so horribly all these years," you hiccup, trying to stop your crying, "There's no way that Eunseok would love someone like me."
"Because you won't let him," she stands up and places the drawing pad back in your lap, "Y/N, your father and I love you very much and all we want is your happiness. We haven't opposed this marriage despite how hard you've tried to push Eunseok away because we know that if you let him, he would make you truly happy. You're the only person stopping that happiness."
You ponder on her words for a while after she leaves, adding little details to your dress. For someone who was acting like this wedding was going to ruin their life, you sure were investing a lot of your free time into it. Maybe Minjeong had gotten into your head; unless you planned to divorce Eunseok (after the 5 year clause, per the contract), you were only going to get married once, so you should at least do it in your style.
Wonbin was right at your engagement party. You'd been planning your wedding since young. You knew exactly which flowers you wanted to adorn the aisle, which flavour of cake you wanted to eat, which song was going to play while you walked down the aisle, and whose eyes you wanted on you on the other side as you did. Eunseok had always been your dream man- he was your first crush, your first love and your first heartbreak all rolled up into one devastatingly handsome package. You imagined him in his crisp suit, laughing through his tears because you just looked so beautiful, and the thought of that takes you out of your fantasy and back into the room that was filled not with tears of happiness, but of silence.
You look down at the ring. The sun is hitting it perfectly, making the diamond shimmer in the beam. You slide it off and inspect the band for the first time, wondering what size he got since you didn't even know your size. Your heart stops when you first notice it. It's so small that if you blinked at that moment, you probably wouldn't have even noticed it and you would've lived the rest of your life not knowing it was there.
You run your nail against the engraving, your breath hitched as you read it.
To the one I'll always choose.
It's always been about choice. This whole time, it's been about your freedom to choose.
You and Eunseok weren't born with the privilege of choosing the one who was going to love you so hard that it would drive you crazy. You were instead born with a silver spoon in your mouth and a signed contract that because your family was going to have a girl first, that girl would be married to the Song's first born when the time came.
There was no question or argument about it. You grew up beside Eunseok knowing you were going to spend the rest of your life together, so you chose to learn everything about him. You chose to learn that he loved playing basketball with his friends and that he became silly and unserious when around them. You chose to learn that he doted on his much younger baby brother and that he would fight anyone and anything that could bring harm to him. You chose to learn that Eunseok had a soft heart that had its very own soft spot reserved just for you- one that grew bigger after your hatred for him did as well.
While you chose to hate Eunseok for rejecting you, he chose to stick by your side anyways. He chose to join you in Oxford, even if most of his friends went to America to study. He chose to live at the block just down the street from yours, so he could walk behind you to lectures and check that you were okay every day without overwhelming you. He chose to sleep on hard floors and wake up with kinks in his neck because he chose to sing you to sleep while you were drunk and then refused to leave to sleep in a nice bed so he could watch over you and protect you in your state. He chose to take on a job in New York for two years instead of joining his father's company straight out of business school so that you had someone to accompany you on your midnight walks through New York City. He chose to give you the choice to leave if marrying him was truly a burden you couldn't bear, because your happiness was the grand reward of the consequences that he would bear in your place.
When you chose to hate him, Eunseok let love grow in the emptiness that you left behind instead. He would choose you a million times over and over again until the day you'd finally see it. Your hatred for the situation stemmed from the fact that you thought your choices were stripped away in being arranged to marry. You wanted Eunseok to love you not because he had to, but because it was his choice to.
You were too blind by your rage to see that Eunseok had been choosing you over and over again not because of the arrangement, but in spite of it. That was the greatest love of them all.
-
On the next sunny day, Eunseok joins you on the bench in the middle of the rose garden. You'd been sketching up ideas on how you want the aisle to look like. You were thinking light flowers along the bottom with candles dispersed to illuminate it. In your dreams, you'd get married at sunset in a glass pavilion that could hold only your closest friends and families. As the sun started dipping, the candles would take over as the source of light and bathe everyone in a soft, golden glow. In your dreams, the light would reflect onto Eunseok's face, highlighting his sharp cheekbones and large, round eyes that were peering down into yours.
"What did you call me over for?" Eunseok sits on his hands and looks around. It's spring time and the garden is at its most vibrant and beautiful.
You hold out your hand in front of you, "I found the engraving on the ring."
Eunseok takes a sharp breath in, "Ah you did?"
"Did you not want me to see it?"
"I had just hoped that whenever you did see it, you would believe it," Eunseok whispered, "It's true, by the way."
"I know," your response has Eunseok turning his head so fast it almost gives him whiplash.
"You do?"
"Mhm. You chose to follow me around the world despite me hating you and you having to give up on your dream schools just so you could try to prove yourself to me. You chose to keep giving me gifts on birthdays when we were abroad since my family often couldn't make it. You always choose me. Why?"
"In part to make amends for the mistake I made when I was young pushing away your feelings like that without thought," Eunseok explained, "But for the most part because I care about you and I want to make the best of a bad situation we're in. I know that no one wants to be in an arranged marriage. I just wanted to show you that I could give you the life you wanted. That you could be happy with me."
Your heart aches at his words as you realise how truly misguided your perception of him was. You had thought that he was following you around to torment you and to remind you that you could never be free, but all this time, he was letting you live your dreams and staying by your side to show that he was supporting you.
"I've treated you so badly over the years and you still want to marry me?" you meet his eyes that have been trained on you since the moment he sat down.
Eunseok giggles and reaches up his warm palm to your cold face, "Hm, your words are harmless Y/N. You've shown your affection to me in other ways; I know you love me."
You roll your eyes and push his hand away, "In your dreams, Song."
"Mhm, actually in your dreams," Eunseok teases, "Considering you've been dreaming about marrying me for 10 years."
"And I don't know why. I must be sick in the head for that. Did you hit me in the head when we were young or something?" you retort, trying to move away from him.
Eunseok lets out a full-bodied laugh that sends butterflies through you instead of the burning rage that usually ensued whenever he was having fun in front of you. He stretched his arm around you behind the bench and pulled you closer to him, "Just admit it, Y/N. Everyone knows you've had a fat crush on me since we were teens and it's only ever grown. There's a very, very fine line between love and hate."
"I still hate you," you grumble, "This doesn't mean anything."
Eunseok drops his head down, pushing your head into his shoulder. Your first instinct is to recoil away and grimace, but Eunseok's grip on your shoulder is tight, so you try to relax in his hold.
"You'll always be my girl, Y/N. You just have to accept that."
You hum and watch the bees buzz around the rose garden, "I've always wanted the whole ordeal- the crushing, the pining, the courting, going on dates, having your firsts, moving in together, proposing how you want. I feel like that was taken away from me before I even knew what they were and even if we do those things, how would I know what's real and what's fake? What you're doing because of me and what you're doing because of the arrangement- that kind of stuff."
Eunseok's heartbeat is slow and strong, "The arrangement only brought us to each other. How can I make you believe that everything I do for you is because I want to?"
"How about we start with when you rejected me and left poor little 16 year old me heartbroken?"
Eunseok scoffs, "Y/N, I was stupid, okay? It was a mistake, I was young and I was too blind to see what was in front of me. You were still special to me back then and I have always cared for you, but I didn't know what I wanted back then. I grew up and haven't looked back since."
"And the girls you brought around at university?"
"Because you were demanding that I dated other people," Eunseok rolls his eyes, thinking about your past explosive arguments about relationships, "I just went on dates here and there, but never anything serious. I always let them know that I couldn't commit, but you know there was a line wrapping around Oxford wanting to date me."
You chuckle at that. Everyone was falling over their feet for the chance to get just a second of Song Eunseok's time, the same way he was doing to you. He was incredibly popular and girls would approach you to ask you to set them up, but you would always growl and send them on their way.
"You were only the most eligible bachelor because you're the son of the third richest family in Korea," you sneer, jokingly.
"And I'm handsome, charming, intelligent and kind," Eunseok lists off his traits on his fingers, "But everyone knows you've always had my heart."
"I don't know if I can believe that."
He shrugs simply beside you, "Doesn't matter. I can show you now."
"What?"
"We can date from now on. I'll show you how I feel. Then in one year's time, you'll be gladly getting married to me instead of having to be dragged up the aisle kicking and screaming by your family," he says it so casually that you question if the shocked reaction you're having is the abnormal one.
"Date?" you splutter out, completely bewildered, pulling away from him, "Us two? Now?"
"Why are you saying it like it's crazy? I basically just confessed to you," Eunseok crosses his arms in front of his chest and tilts his head in confusion, "Are you rejecting me? Is this payback?"
You wave your hand in dismissal, "Yah, you're really confusing me here, Eunseok. I don't know what I'm feeling right now."
He laughs again, and he's glad that he can finally laugh with you for the first time in years. He takes your hand between his and squeezes assuringly, "It's okay. We can figure it out together as we go. Just stay by my side, okay?"
You sigh into the breeze. The air was crisping up as the sky began to illuminate in visions of pink and purple. You look over at Eunseok and the reflection of the sun makes his eyes look iridescent. One thing you've always known about Eunseok is that with him, you felt safe, so you nod and squeeze his hand back, "Yeah."
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
The first time you saw Eunseok again after your undergraduate graduation, it was in New York City at the end of summer.
You had spent the entire summer travelling nearly every country in Europe with your friends, while Eunseok was forced to come home and start learning how to actually work in his father's company before he started his role at the New York branch. You were glad to have this summer without him considering the two of you spent your summers together as children and as teens, your friendship groups overlapped so you also had to hang out with him.
There were endless boxes in your apartment since decorating your space was one of your life's great pleasures. The boxes were organised by room and had been shipped out from England at the start of the summer when you moved out. They'd been collecting dust, so all your windows were thrown open in the summer heat to air out the apartment and the dust. Of course you had AC, but there was something about the noise of the city traffic and the hustle and bustle travelling up to your apartment that made you feel like you were truly in the city.
The knock on your door made you groan instantly and you had to suppress the urge of banging your head into the coffee table you were decorating. You took small and slow steps to the front door, but the pattering on the door wasn't letting up.
"Already here to bother me on my first day? It's only been like 3 hours since I got off the plane," you sighed as you came face to face with your dreaded fiancé.
Eunseok rolled his eyes and pushed past your shoulders into your kitchen, "I know you missed me. I brought takeout since you probably haven't eaten and don't have any food yet." Eunseok held up a bag of his favourite Korean food in the city and placed it on your dining table, dishing out the styrofoam boxes.
He arrived in the city a week and a half before you did, moving into the apartment across the hall so he had been able to get himself settled into both his job and his city before you came to rain down terror on him.
"What makes you think I want to eat with you?"
"I bought it, so I'm gonna eat it. Up to you if you wanna starve or not," Eunseok shrugged, already making himself comfy in one of your expensive dining chairs. He took out some plastic cutlery from the bag and began to dig in to the beef bibimbap he had ordered for himself. There was another few boxes of food in the bag, all of which smelling amazing and instantly causing your stomach to grumble.
Sheepishly, you took the seat across from him and scavenged through the food. He had ordered you some tteokbokki and a stew with some rice. Either he knew you too well or it was a lucky guess. For the sake of your heart, you settled on the latter choice.
The two of you ate in silence for a while, not really looking up at each other and just staring passively at your food. Silence was few and far between when it came to you and Eunseok. It was always hushed arguing or full blown insulting between the two of you no matter where you went or how inappropriate it may have seemed to others. You were sure there were rumours that the two of you didn't always get on despite being photographed together so often, but your families' PR teams were experts in mangling all those 'rumours'. 
You broke the silence first, "How's the new job?"
The heir in front of you coughs and looks at you strangely, as if he couldn't believe you would ask him that, "It's... work. Not horrible and met a couple friendly colleagues. Having this job does make me feel so grown up and responsible, though," after the initial shock of you initiating a conversation, Eunseok began blabbering about his new position at his family's company.
"Well then hopefully it makes you more mature," you snide.
Eunseok scoffed, "Trust me, Y/N, when I say that I'm the more mature one out of us. You'll find out what I mean one day."
"If you were mature enough, you'd know to oppose this crazy marriage with me," you turned your head away from him, feeling the anger bubble up again.
"And it's because I'm mature enough that I'm not," he shrugged, "Unlike you, I don't think this marriage will be the worst thing that can happen to me."
"I'm honoured," you retorted, "I don't know why you think that when all I've done is make your life difficult. Why would you think I can't continue for the rest of our lives?"
He smiled coyly at you, pushing a drink that appeared in the bag towards you, "You'll get tired, sweetheart. Then you'll fall in love with me."
You feel sick at how he's all entirely wrong. Despite that, you appreciate how he's always able to diffuse any tension between the two of you even if his words are always cocky and arrogant. z
You don't say anything to him for a long while. When you finished up your food in silence, he packed everything anyway and placed it in the correct bins. Wordlessly, he began to unpack your boxes with you, unwrapping everything bubble wrapped and placing it on the kitchen counters for you to organise. You would have protested this act of service, but he's right- fighting him all the time does get tiring.
In this light from the living room as the sun setting made your apartment glow and burst with light, Eunseok looks radiant. You hope he can't see you admiring him from the next room. It's almost as if you're a normal couple, moving into their first home and starting their new life together. It's a melancholy sight as you ponder the what if's.
He breaks down all of your boxes flat, humming to himself a song that you think you've heard at the end of parties when you'd be sat on someone's bedroom floor just talking or playing cards half-drunk. Eunseok turned his head towards you and you whipped your head away so fast it hurts your neck.
"You still have this?" he held up a mug that instantly flashed you back to 6 years ago. The mug is majority a light pink and wonky in places since you made it yourself from clay. It was a few months process making and painting the mug, but when you were 15 with the biggest crush on him, having a mug brandishing "Y/N + EUNSEOK" on it made you feel giddy inside.
"All my other mugs broke," you lied through your teeth, snatching it from his grip and placing it in a random empty cupboard, "My mother packed it for me when I moved to Oxford."
"Mhm, okay," you could tell he was smirking but you made yourself busy with the plates, "I'm gonna take the boxes down to the recycling. Do you want any more help?"
"I've had enough of you for today," you breathed out. Too much time with him truly drove you crazy, "But thanks."
"Anytime, princess. I'm just across the hall if you need me and I'll get your number whenever you get it set up." he wiped his hands on his jeans and have you that charming smile that made you fall in the first place.
You see him out wordlessly. You don't argue when he turns up the next day demanding for your number in case you ever needed anything from him (or if he wanted to come and bother you). You feign annoyance when one morning he's insisting that he ran out of coffee in his apartment and wanted some of yours. You leave him in your apartment because you were running late to class, but when you get home, you open the cupboard and try not to fall all over again when you see a matching, much lumpier, handmade blue mug that brandished the words "TO FOREVER <3" on it next to yours.
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
You're tossing and turning in your seat as Eunseok shakes you gently. He laughs when you groan under your breath as he wakes you up, "Sit up. We're landing soon."
The sleep you got on the flight was long, but you still woke up incredibly tired since you kept getting woken up for meals. You were grateful that you could fly first class with separate seats and beds, otherwise you'd be much more groggy than you already were.
Buckling yourself in the seat next to Eunseok's, you yawn, "Eunseok, what the fuck is an engagement trip?"
"A trip celebrating our engagement, duh," he looks at you like you're stupid, so you shove him as hard as your tired body could muster, "Like a honeymoon but before. Never too many excuses to take a vacation. Plus, we're going to be busy this trip."
You've never taken a vacation with just Eunseok before. Sure, you've lived in three different countries together outside of Korea and gone on a couple of vacations as children and with a large group of friends, but never just the two of you with a purpose.
"I don't understand why our wedding planner couldn't just pick a venue for herself and call it a day. Why must we go all the way to Italy and do it ourselves?" you're up to your neck in work, but you couldn't protest when you found a week blocked off in your calendar by your assistant, telling you it was 'orders from above' AKA your father.
"It was my idea," he confesses with a shrug, "Won't it be nice if we actually like where we're getting married? If we chose it ourselves because we can see ourselves getting married there?"
It feels like your heart is clenching at the insinuations behind his words. He wants to get involved with your wedding planning, like it's a real wedding. You sniff and turn away from him. It is a real wedding, you remind yourself. You were going to get married legally and this wedding was real, no matter the intention behind it. No matter if you loved or hated each other, it was a real wedding.
"Yeah. Everywhere in Italy is nice so at leadt it'll be a good trip," the past couple of months since you've been officially engaged to Eunseok, you've been attempting to be nicer and hold back your retorts. You've made an effort to argue less and he's been trying to get on your good side. You've both been busy with work considering the news of the merger brought a whole new wave of problems, so you've had no time to interrogate his profession to "date" you. Thank gosh, because your heart would not be able to take that.
The plane lands soon enough and before you know it, you're in a private car going to your hotel. You were staying in Milan, but driving around Lake Como and Tuscany to tour the list of potential venues that your wedding planner had come up with. You were definitely going to be exhausted by the end of it.
The drive was relatively silent, just listening to music and looking out of the window, but when you arrive at the hotel, Eunseok opens the car door for you and snakes his arm around your waist as you walk up to the front desk, "Hello. We're checking in to the penthouse suite. For Song?"
The hotel clerk smiles sweetly, handing over your keys swiftly, "All ready for you both, Mr Song. Congratulations on your engagement."
You're spluttering a thank you with flushed cheeks as Eunseok drags you over to the elevator, "You told them?"
"I just wanted the free champagne that I assume will be up there," he grins cheekily and you roll your eyes. As if he couldn't afford it.
You are however delighted to find a small cake beside the bucket of ice cold champagne and you dig into the red velvet goodness as you watch Eunseok open up your suitcases and hang your clothes up in the master bedroom wardrobe meticulously. You're halfway into the cake when he drags his suitcases out of the room.
"Wait, where are you going?" you frown.
Eunseok snickers, "To the other bedroom? Why? Do you want me to stay with you?"
"Oh. I just didn't know there were two rooms." you say sheepishly.
Eunseok stops in his tracks, hand on his suitcase loosening, "So you went into this trip okay with the thought of sleeping with me? If so, I'll stay here with you then."
"No!" you call out, "Just- just shut up and go."
The smirk on his face is smug as he nods and continues his leave, "Alright, sweetheart, but let me know if you get nightmares and want company."
You bear the butter knife at him and he laughs melodically on his way out. You pop the champagne yourself and drown a glass down, hoping you'd be able to make it out the trip unscathed. He's running into the room with a pout after hearing the loud pop of the corkscrew, so you pour the both of you a glass and you clink them together as you chugged them back.
The days pass by similarly. You wake up and have breakfast together before embarking on a sleepy drive to a venue. You have lunch in endless terraces and gardens under the sun, basking in the heat and evaluating the venue you saw that morning. You both ooh and ahh at different venues that all look the same before you find a flaw in it that stops you from making the decision to host one of the most important days of your lives there. Some are too big, some too small, too pretentious, not pretty enough, the flowers aren't the ones you envisioned, the location too secluded or not enough. You always agree on the flaws of the venues and it's the penultimate full day when you make it to the final venue on the list.
"If I don't like this venue then I'm not marrying you," you huff in the car as it pulls up the driveway.
"Who knew wedding venues were so complicated?" Eunseok exhales in frustration, "Should we just get married in Seoul?"
You puff out your lips, "Italy was always my dream, but I was naive to the process."
Eunseok smiles and takes your hand, "I have faith in this one. At least I hope." The commitment he has to giving you your dream wedding despite it all is unwavering.
When you enter the final venue, you think that maybe it was the last on the list for a reason, since you're blown away every step you take through the grounds. The hallways to the main room is ornate and delicate at the same time, with pretty floral paintings wrapping the walls and big windows letting in the golden light. The room where your reception could be held is stunning with murals all over the walls and a dome ceiling that compliments it perfectly. It's neither too big, nor too small and there's little nooks and crannies for guests to nestle themselves in. You could see yourself in the middle, slow dancing with your head on your husband's shoulder.
"This is nice," Eunseok awes, coming up behind you with the grounds manager, "Very pretty."
You nod in agreement and ask to see the gardens, since you always wanted to get married outside in the sun. The manager gushes over the outside while she leads you out and your heart is pounding in anticipation. Eunseok probably guessed how giddy you were, because he joins you by your side and gives you a hopeful look.
"We're here. Most brides start from here and have the aisle straight down to the arch."
She throws open the double doors and you gasp in admiration at the sight in front of you. The stairs going down to the garden seen steep, but grand. You envision that your father could probably help you hobble down to the garden, where it was staged as a wedding venue. There's chairs laid out in rows, decorated in tulle and bows with an aisle adorned in flowers. At the end of the garden, there's an arch with vines wrapped around it and flowers creeping up. From where you were standing, you could see that this garden was actually on a balcony overlooking a lake that seemed to be glowing and sparkling as the slight wind caused some ripples on the surface
"I'll give you two some time to explore?" she proposes, to which Eunseok nods and wraps his hand around your wrist, tugging you down the stairs.
"First impressions?" he's looking around with blown out pupils as the two of you reach the bottom of the stairs and the beginning of the aisle.
"I like this one a lot," you shyly admit, "It's exactly what I imagined."
"I love it as well. Why don't you walk down the aisle and see how you feel. Imagine yourself on the day," he's taking off in front of you, running swiftly to the arch before you could even take a breath and get a word out.
At his antics, you let out a full-belly laugh and straighten out the ivory dress you happened to be wearing. You look down at the slip dress hitting your ankles and think it might be fate you chose to wear this specific dress on this specific day. You look up and find Eunseok suddenly frozen still at the other end, hands intertwined in front of him and his eyes trained solely on you.
When he notices that you meet his eyes, he gives you a gentle smile as he mouths to you, "Come here."
It takes you a few breaths to actually muster up the courage to follow his direction. You think that walking down a straight path shouldn't be such a big deal, but the thought that this could be the very steps you take to marry the same man at the end in less than a year's time strikes your heart.
The aisle is a soft and smooth stone, perfect for walking on in high heels. It's wide enough that a wedding dress wouldn't drag along the sides and knock over the flowers and long enough for anticipation to build as Eunseok gazes down at you from afar.
"Y/N," Eunseok calls over.
You take the first step and your breath catches in your throat. All you can look at is Eunseok now, with his shirt unbuttoned at the first three to expose some chest and his hair falling over his eyes. He keeps fidgeting with his fingers, as if he couldn't stand still and his lips are puckering and stretching as if he had much more to say.
The second step is easier than the first and the third one even more so. By the fifth step, Eunseok is chewing on his bottom lip and you're ridden with anticipation to meet him at the end.
With each step you take down the aisle, you're flashed back to all the crucial moments in your life with Song Eunseok so far.
You were sandbox best friends. You learned to walk together, and then ride bikes with each other. You learned to swim in the same swimming pool that still remained in your garden. You learned to ski and snowboard with each other in the blustery mountains of the alps. You were each other's first heartbreaks when you were teens. You took your first alcoholic drink together with your friends by the Han river, faces flushed red and hearts beating out of your chests at the prospect of getting caught. You got blackout drunk together for the first time during your first week of university. You posed together as you threw your graduation caps up in the air at the end of the three years. You chased each other around New York City, running around in blocks after he snatched your phone from your grasp when you would ignore him. You begrudgingly invited him to ride swan paddle boats with you in every lake and river around the city since he was the only person that would drop everything for you at a moment's notice. You would leave containers of home cooked food outside his doors when you noticed he was getting swamped with work, knowing he had the tendency to either order too much unhealthy takeout or stop eating altogether when busy.
With every step you take to meet Eunseok at the bottom of the aisle, you accept that Eunseok has been with you for every step of your life.
He's an arm's length away when you notice his eyes are glossier than usual. Eunseok refuses to break the stare between the two of you as you arrive in front of him, exactly where you would stand under the arch if you got married at this very space.
"Are you crying?" you whisper, afraid of your own voice.
He chortles and dabs at his eyes, "It's just the wind."
"Mhm," you hum, fighting back the smile threatening to expose your emotions, "What do you think?"
Eunseok takes a bold step towards you and closes the gap between your bodies. He's closer than you've ever had him and you can nearly feel his breath on your skin. It's making you dizzy but all you can do is keep your eyes on him.
"Eunseok," you murmur in a hushed tone.
His head is drifting closer down to yours, forehead nearly touching. If you moved your face even just by a centimetre, your noses would bump and you knew you wouldn't be able to stop yourself.
"Let's get married here," Eunseok nudges his face forwards. You have to stop yourself from pulling back even with the drumming in your chest, "You're going to look so beautiful. You do already."
"I like this place. Our parents would like it here too."
Eunseok's eyes flutter shut as he sighs and shakes his head gently, "No, let's get married here because we want to, not because our parents would like it. Let's get married because we want to."
"Eunseok," his name falls out of your mouth like it's the most sacred word you can say.
His forehead is still pressed against yours, his eyes squeezed tight and his palm comes up to make home on your cheek, "I love you. I always have."
Sincerity drips from his words and you know that this time, it's the real thing. It's the words you'd been dying to hear him say sincerely for a decade. It's the words that underlined every fight and argument you've had as adults. He finally and bravely bares his heart to you for the first time, still considerate as he always had been by giving you the choice to determine what will end up of the two of you.
There's something different about his profession of love after all you'd experienced together. Back then, when you confessed that you liked him, the world would probably say it was just some puppy love- a silly high school crush. Something that would fizzle over and dissolve when you would experience the real hardships of life and what it could throw at you. You think that a late confession carries a profound and heartfelt meaning like no other.
"Seok-"
He cuts you off before you could finish, pulling away from you and causing you to open your eyes, "I don't need an answer yet, Y/N. I just need you to know that I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend, your husband, your partner- whatever you want me to be. I want to make you only happy from now on, instead of angry or resentful. I want to be by your side and keep following you around the world. I want everything with you."
You've never felt more sure of anything else in the world when you bounce up on your tiptoes and capture his face between your hands, pressing your lips against his. It feels like every nerve ending in your body is on fire, but at the same time feeling relief as if this was the one thing in the world that could finally relieve you from all the anger and bitterness you had been displaying and trying to internalise for all these years. Deep down, you could never ever hate Song Eunseok, the boy who has had your heart since you were just young.
He's rigid for a split second while he processes your own confession, but he quickly regains enough composure to part his lips and deepen the kiss, moulding your lips to each other's. It's unlike anything he's ever felt before and he finally understood the real pleasure of kissing someone you really love. As he runs his tongue along your bottom lip, Eunseok knows that he could do this for the rest of his life.
"Song Eunseok, I love you too," your eyes are glistening with adoration as you pull away from his kiss, "Let's get married?"
When he finally looks you in the eye at the moment you give yourself back to him, he can't help the tears that finally break free from their barrier. He's laughing as he finally pulls you to his chest, wrapping his arms around your body in desperation of keeping you close to him. You nuzzle deeper into him and he tucks his head into your neck. His body is shaking with the laughter of relief and his heartstrings tug when he feels his shirt dampening at the exact spot where your face laid.
"You're the one I'll always choose to love," he coo's into your ear words that travel straight into your heart, "For the rest of my life, for the rest of yours."
You look down at your hand and breathe deeply as the ring glistens on your finger. The Italian sun makes it shine bright as the symbol of your love. You start thinking of what you want to engrave on the inside of the ring that you want to get him. You start thinking of the dress and suit you'll be wearing at this very spot soon enough. You're dreaming of the house you move into together and of the company you'll spearhead by each other's side. You fantasise over your future kids- the kids you hope will have his eyes and your nose. You yearn for the life you know Eunseok will give you and your heart is finally at peace, knowing it will always be him.
˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ ˎˊ˗
900 notes · View notes
xoxochb · 26 days ago
Text
— busy woman ꣑ৎ‧₊˚.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
warnings: I wrote this in like five minutes so there’s probably mistakes or something pairing: apollo x daughter of aphrodite and ares a/n: missed writing for my babies 🤗
Tumblr media
“hey! I have to-” your cut off by lips atop yours, but you pull back quickly “I’ve got ten-” another kiss “oh my fucking gods-” another “stop you dumba-” another
no. you shoot your husband an angry glare (thank you ares for that one!), placing one hand over his wandering mouth and your wedding ring adorned hand over his chest to refrain him from coming any further. you smile victoriously and finally speak a complete sentence, “great. now, I have to leave in ten minutes. I don’t have time for your sexual needs right now”
apollo pouts when you remove your hands. “who said anything about sex?”
“your hand underneath my dress”
“ah” he realizes and pulls it out, instead resting his hand on your waist over your dress
“mhm. now I have to get ready. I’m not going to be late because of you and I still have to put on lipstick!”
“go ahead, darling”
you smile, for real this time, and turn to face your vanity, picking up your red cherry colored lipstick and applying it over your lips. you turn back around to your husband who hovers over you (personal space? he’s never heard of her)
“how does it look?”
stupid question. utterly and entirely stupid question. because regardless if you look terrible or not he’s going to reply with the same answer every time:
“gorgeous, my love”
you roll your eyes and sigh. “okay… well I’m going to leave early before you try to make any advances on me”
apollo gives you a look of disbelief. “me? never”
you don’t laugh. but he surely does. you ignore this and attempt to place only a peck to his lips as to not ruin your newly applied lipstick but unfortunately he was other plans in mind. with an hand on the back of your head it’s impossible for you to pull back. though, you admittedly don’t want to, but again you will be late… but also would anyone care? it was another stupid “tea and scones time” your mother planned every wednesday…
you pull back only a tad but only to murmur. “you’ve got five minutes. make this quick”
Tumblr media
131 notes · View notes
sweetinsaniiity · 5 months ago
Text
In The Light Of Our Demise
Tumblr media
► 𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 - photographer!wooyoung x fem!reader!Y/N x OT8Teez! (𝒶𝓈 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓈) ◄ ► 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜/𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 - fluff, friendship, unrequited love, slice of life, angst, plot twist, slow burn, friends to-strangers to-friends , moving on , happy ending (or is it?) ◄ ► 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 - depression, anxiety ◄ ► 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 - 23.4K ◄ ► 𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 - someone who was afraid of getting out of their comfort zone and someone who was afraid of committing to anything and anyone is never a good combination. Would Wooyoung remain in your life if you confessed? If he left, what would you do? ◄
► 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 - Hello! This is my first fanfic, at least here on Tumblr! Cut me some slack I suppose lmao and let me know if I should continue. If so, let me know if you want to be added to my future taglist! Title from Motionless In White. ◄
Tumblr media
I'm not God, but they're trying to kill me. This all-knowing desperation I've been feeling for quite sometime now, I mean.
I don't remember the last time I've felt this lonely. There were times where my emotions felt a little too much to handle, but not to the point that rendered me unable to want to feel alive. Today, the sadness drained through me rather than lingering outside my skin, traveling through every nerve, but to my surprise, it rather electrified me to want to do something.
That's good, right? And so I did.
"I'll be back at noon," I told my kind mother, passing through her to try and get to the door before I changed my mind.
"I'm glad you've been going out lately, honey. Let me know when you need anything, okay?" she beamed, quite pleased that I was trying to do something with my life rather than mope around in my room all day.
Oh, how clueless she was. The truth was, I didn't want to let her know about the consuming melancholy that my heart had been feeling. 
Ever since I had decided to quit my job, nothing but bad luck has been coming my way. I know it was stupid, to just up and go just because I was unsatisfied with what I was doing, but truth be told, I was not happy anymore. I could never go on doing something I truly wasn't happy with.
But I was bored out of my mind, and most of all, I felt utterly useless and hopeless. It was dangerous - the path my thoughts were taking me. It's the road that led to my burnout, and the impatience this world had always given me.
"No point in trying to convince myself that things would be different," I mumbled to myself, sitting on the park bench nearby.
Click, click
I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice that my feet took me to the park I always went to when I just wanted to be alone in my thoughts and think of my next move. I suppose I was always so discontented with my life that my body had subconsciously learned what to do on its own.
Click, click
No matter, I thought, I was the master of pushing it through. My path had been very foggy lately, anyway. I just have to be patient if the world can't do it for me so I can wait for it to clear up and show me the next adventure that lay ahead of me. 
Click, click
I frowned, what in the hell is that clicking sound I keep hearing?
I pulled my cardigan close, as if doing so would stop the exposure I suddenly felt from being out in the open. I looked around, but there was nothing. There were parents with their children, dogs with their owners, coaches with their students, and ducks with their ponds.
"Miss? You dropped this---"
"Oh my God!" I squealed like cattle about to be slaughtered as I turned around to find the source of the sudden voice. I had always been jittery, you see.
I turned around, and the most handsome man I have ever seen in my life was behind me holding what seems to be my phone. I didn't even realize that I'd dropped it while I was busy spacing out in my thoughts.
His eyes were widened, directed at me. I guess I'm not the only jittery one here. 
He had average length hair that swayed with the oncoming wind, but what set it apart was its bright red tone that was as vivid as the flowers that surrounded both of us. His lips were plump and raised into a charming smile and his steps had a bounce to them.
Oh God, be still, my beating heart. I blushed, the red tinge on my cheeks vibrant in contrast to my pale skin. I hope he can't hear how loud my heart is beating.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you," I was meeker than I usually was.
He saw the surprise register on my face before I could hide it. His smile becomes wider, I guess he gets this a lot, and the heat on my face gets warmer. If he wasn't good-looking before, he definitely was now.
"Don't worry about it, I didn't mean to scare you," he laughed, handing me my phone. I slowly took it, praying that my hands didn't shake too much.
I swallowed. Even his voice was pretty. It reminded me of soft marshmallows, so pillowy and comforting, so sweet and yet so rich at the same time. I mentally slap myself, I haven't gone out in days and the first thing I do is openly check out a guy who was nice enough to give me my phone back instead of running away with it?
My voluntary isolation sure did its number on me.
But then I saw it. There was something slinging across his shoulder - a bag. It donned a big camera that I knew for a fact was quite expensive. So that was the clicking sound I heard earlier, he was a photographer.
"Ah," he began, scratching the back of his head. "I was snapping pictures of you earlier with this." He gently pats the bag. "Would you like to see?" 
"S-Sure," I agreed, hesitant.
"I'm not a creep, I promise," he panicked, animatedly defending himself by making a point to wave his hands in front of me. I giggled a little. He was cute. "I do this for a living, street photography I mean."
"I see. I, uh, sorry to disappoint you, Mr..?"
"Oh. I'm Wooyoung. And why are you sorry? I'm the one who took photos of you randomly," he tilted his head in confusion.
"It's not that," I paused, biting my lip, not knowing how to proceed. I don't miss the way his eyes follow the movement. "I haven't been myself lately, so I probably look unfit for your photography concept..."
I wasn't trying to fish for any sort of compliment. It was true, I did look and feel like shit, to put it simply. I haven't been taking care of myself lately - my clothes were wrinkly, my hair was a bird's nest, my eyes had no life in them, and my face has been splotchy with my dark circles and zit marks.
Unlike him. He was casual, but there was coordination with his outfits, and they looked impeccably new.
"On the contrary, Miss...?"
I laughed a bit. He was cute, and very playful at the same time. What a dangerous combination. His mouth curls into a good-natured smirk. "Y/N. Drop the 'miss', it makes me feel old." 
It was his turn to laugh a bit. "On the contrary, Y/N, yours was the best photo I have taken this week."
My blush deepens immensely, more than I thought I was able to. I matched it with a small, shy smile as my eyes shone in a way that only genuine happiness and appreciation can bring.
I've always been like that. I wish I didn't get so flustered easily. In a flash, my cheeks are rosy and anyone can peek inside my emotions as I had pried my insides open so they watch for themselves.
"Somehow I don't believe that," I chuckled, mentally rolling my eyes.
"No, I'm serious, here," Wooyoung zips his bag open, brings out the expensive looking camera, and presses a button that brings it back to life. "I'll show you."
Wooyoung scoots closer to me, bringing the equipment near my face so I can see the screen. I was so embarrassed at how much I had the urge to sniff him.
He smelled so good - very musky, leathery but very clean at the same time. It gives me the image of a pure sophistication behind a light curtain that envelops you in warmth.
I let out a light gasp, complete surprise taking over the shyness I felt earlier.
There I was, staring out nowhere in particular at the bench I was brooding my bad mood off on. But it wasn't me that stole both of our attention, there was a beautiful wisteria tree I hadn't noticed before behind me.
It was beautiful. The way they cascaded into this marvelous tendrils of purple beauty blended with how forlorn my expression was; the longing, regret, and despondence clearly evident, like the slow descent of its lilac petals, way down they go.
To the naked eye, it looked like a depressed girl with a pretty tree in the background, but to me and Wooyoung, it was so much deeper than that. The photo held so much depth, because at the same time, there was relief in my features. The sadness was exquisite.
"You," I paused, swallowing to force the words out of my mouth. "You made me look human."
"What makes you think I didn't capture you because you were the most human looking in here?"
His smile was the prettiest thing I've seen in a while, prettier than the wisteria, and I can tell it was genuine. I could have melted in a puddle right there. His eyes sparkle like the night sky as he browses at each photo he had taken. He had the passion I lacked.
"Do you want copies of it?" Wooyoung inquired.
Did I want copies of it? Did I want to stare at myself and get reminded every time about how lonely my life currently was? I don't know, I wasn't the sentimental type. He senses my hesitation and frowns a bit. 
He grabs a small piece of card and hands it to me. "Here's my card," he points at it. "That's the address, come swing by whenever you have the chance and I will give it to you, okay?"
I bit my lip apprehensively with a nod, pocketing the card in my cardigan. "Alright, I will think about it."
"I hope you do," he clicks his tongue, swiping it across his bottom lip. I stopped breathing for a second. "I wouldn't want to waste such a pretty photo."
I swallowed. "A-Ah, do I have to pay for it?"
"I guess you're going to have to find out, hmm?" he smirked, gently tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "There, much better."
I froze, not really knowing what to do. I sighed softly, I have been so deprived of touch because I poured all of my time on work. Well, at least what used to be my work. 
Wooyoung juts his hand out, waiting for me to shake it. I grabbed his hand halfheartedly. "I hope we see each other again," he said.
After we said our goodbyes - him being bubbly to the very end as he walked away and me just nodding as I watched him go - I treaded my way home.
I took out the card he gave me earlier, which turned out to be a business card, I realized, and not just a personal card. Of course, Y/N, he just met you, why would he give you his personal details? As I inspected the card further, it brought me slight joy to know that his work place wasn't far from my house, just a couple of blocks away.
I was hesitant, truth be told, it was probably a one time encounter, most likely a business tactic to get someone to go into their studio and do business with them. I felt bad because Wooyoung seemed like a genuine person, but there was no way I was adding any sort of change in my current life right now, my mind was a mess as is.
With that, I crumpled up the card and threw it in the nearest bin.
Tumblr media
I paused at the doorway, hesitating before anyone - Wooyoung - knew I was here. I knew I had to go in, and by God, I was nervous as hell. I just needed a few minutes to compose myself.
The curiosity had been eating away at me. It had been 2 weeks before deciding I would stop prancing around at it and just get it over with.
To hell with it, I thought, hastily putting on the most mediocre outfit I can get away with today. It wasn't meant to impress, a simple white tee paired with jeans and sneakers was enough to look decent and be comfortable at the same time.
Deep inside, maybe I just wanted to see the striking photographer again and hear his voice; to see his sparkling eyes that quickly held me in like a moth to a flame.
I stepped in and was immediately greeted by a myriad of photographs that were just placed where they were, the closest thing we get to a time capsule. I was immediately amazed by how versatile the photos were - all of them had their own stories to tell.
A photograph of an old, vintage clock caught my attention. I'm not very knowledgeable, but it was an antique, I was sure of it. It was made out of wood that probably looked sleek during its era. 
Unconsciously, I touched the frame, like it would come back to life if I did. Then, I saw something at the bottom right of the frame. Taking a closer look, it was a series of small letters stamped on it.
J. WY/Budapest, Hungary/2023/Paradigm
I traced the embossed letters lightly with my fingertips. It was obvious that this one was Wooyoung's piece. He had a very particular style in his art, he tended to focus on the subjects and the corresponding backgrounds were something to compliment the subject, and not to supply added detail. It was very interesting.
"I can hear the gears in your head turning from where I am."
I was a deer in headlights once more with him. "You got a thing for sneaking up on me?" I teased.
There he was in his handsome glory leaning by the door with his arms crossed. "Maybe," he smirked coyly.
My heart went up to my throat when I realized that today, his hair slicked back today. I was able to see his face clearly, his beauty was insane. Heaven knows I would look like a wet chicken. He walks steadily towards me and stares fondly at the vintage watch photo.
"I went to Budapest with all of my friends, we all work in this studio together, for a vacation," he chuckled, reminiscing. "But I couldn't resist not taking the scenery for work. God, that place was beautiful..."
Just like you.
I cringed internally, turning my head a bit away from him so he couldn't see the grimace on my face. It wasn't a lie, he was beautiful, but I wasn't going to admit that to him, or anybody for that matter.
"I like them," I thoughtfully mumbled.
Wooyoung turns to look at me, and I tried very hard not to look at him back by pretending that I was inspecting the photo furthermore. There was not a lick of knowledge in my head about photography, I hope he doesn't notice that. 
He stares for what seemed like forever, not blinking nor breathing, the effect was a slow burn waiting to incinerate the thin thread that bound us both. Although I wasn't looking straight at him, it was his lips that gave away that he knew that I knew what he was doing; he wasn't smiling, there was just a slight tilt on one corner.
"Do you, now?" he wondered, now full-on smirking.
"Yes," I affirmed. Was that rhetoric? Was I supposed to say no?
He audibly sighed, and I frowned. I know that sound, it was the sound of negative memories suddenly surging our minds, crashing in like a tidal wave, and my, once you start? They become very addicting, slowly consuming your thoughts until they become no more.
"You know, I never used to look at the photos I snap after I take 'em?" Wooyoung's smile was tinged with hurt, but more so of reminisce. "I just snap, snap, and then keep snapping and hope for the best outcome when San develops them in the back for me."
"Is that what you did when you stole those moments of mine a couple of weeks back?" I swallowed nervously, my body was already anxious and my brain is trying to catch up on it any moment now.
"No," he firmly articulated, so firmly my heart leapt to my throat and tightened it further. 
Wooyoung gently grabs my chin, turning it towards himself so I can make eye contact with him. "Because I knew you wouldn't come back to me until a few days after. I saw it in your eyes."
To him? This was the second time he stole something from me. Instead of a photo, now it was the breath from my lungs. I am on fire, my skin was burning from his touch. 
"Frankly, I wasn't expecting two weeks, that was longer than I anticipated," he chuckled lowly, his thumb caressing my cheek tenderly, and I let him. I was too frozen to protest.
"You knew all that even before you approached me that day? From that far?" I raised a brow. I was hesitant, but I was willing to play his game even though I knew he was probably bullshitting me.
"I'm a photographer, Y/N. It's my job to look through the windows of people's souls---"
"What do you want from me?"
Wooyoung lets go of my face, hands now in his pockets. He doesn't look a bit surprised, just a little concerned. "What do you mean?" he frowned, tilting his head to the side in wonder.
The paranoia in me had always been borderline terrified of not only trying new things, but also meeting new people in association. The underlying fear of deception from years and years of let down between family and friends has rendered me closed off of opening allowances to let myself experience new things and let people in.
"You act like we're friends, and we are not," I bit my lip, exasperated. "I don't like that."
"Are you saying that there are certain prerequisites to being friends with other people?" Wooyoung tuts, frowning deeper. "Everyone has to start from somewhere, no?"
He was right, I can admit that. I began to see how my self-deprecating thoughts had kept me all alone, and frankly, I was none the wiser on what it's like on the side.
"I'll tell you what, Y/N, how about I give you your photo and you can tell me what you're thinking over coffee, perhaps? I make a mean cup of coffee," Wooyoung suggested kindly, his eyes shining in anticipation for my response.
I frowned, shuffling my feet in anxiety. "What if people come inside your studio? And your friends?"
"Don't worry about that," he smiled, already taking a step towards the other room where he came from. "We actually don't open on the weekends. I just always came in because I was worried you would come looking for me when I wasn't here."
It was such a simple gesture, but it blew both my heart and my mind. My heart is so full right it could burst in any minute.
Wooyoung flashes me his million dollar smile, the one that made me want to see him again, and holds his hand out for me to grab. "Why are you hesitating?"
"I hesitate because I need to be sure because for the first time in a while, there are things that I do want, and the consequences of my errors would forever haunt me," I blurted uncontrollably, babbling before I could stop my mouth from speaking.
My mind began to work overload with anxiety but before I could act out on them, Wooyoung laughed out loud. His eyes crinkle upwards into the cutest crescents, and his beautiful lips stretched out with mirth. 
His laughter reminded me of a fox, loud and boisterous, and I couldn't help but join in with him as he warmed my soul and made my day. "You're fine, come on," he urged me in between laughter.
More photos, albeit with unfinished frames, greeted me when I followed Wooyoung into what I can only assume was the kitchen. It was small, but it was nice and actually very functional. I sat into one of the sleek, modern stools and leaned towards the small kitchen island while Wooyoung went to town and made both of us coffee.
"Sugar?" he absentmindedly asked.
"H-Huh?" I was a deer in sudden headlights.
Wooyoung seemed to be confused too as we both looked at each other in bewilderment. Without warning, his face contorts into a laughing mess again, making me blush.
"I was asking if you wanted sugar in your coffee," he chuckled. "Although if you want me to call you sugar, that could be arranged too."
I blushed even deeper, awkwardly covering my face in embarrassment. I felt the tips of my ears heat up and I must have looked so stupid in front of him. "Stop," I groaned, my voice muffled by my hands.
And being the gentleman he was, he did actually stop teasing me.
But it was mainly because he had two steaming mugs of coffee carefully balanced with his two hands as he walked towards me. I mumbled a 'thanks' when I received mine. 
"Now we can talk about why you're very sad," Wooyoung took a sip from his mug without breaking eye contact with me. I gulped.
My brows shot upwards in surprise and my eyes widened in apprehension at the same time. "How did you know I was sad?" I inquired, not sure on how to react.
Wooyoung smiled mischievously. "I just do," he winked.
Having no choice, and frankly having no one to talk to in general, I told him everything. I told him how I had quit my previous job because I was beginning to feel very unhappy with the toxicity that surrounded me and how suffocating it was to stay in a place where you weren't even wanted.
I told him how I was trying to look for another job, but the fear of trying a new one and not being sure if it was a good suit for me was a little daunting, so to speak.
He listened attentively to each word I said, not once interjecting to put his two cents in before I was done finishing, and only asking me some small questions for the sake of clarification. 
It almost makes me want to cry at how attentive he was to me, even though this was only the second time we're meeting. The way his eyes bore into me while I poured my heart out, the way he would nod and acknowledge the things I would say, he was such a good listener.
I can't say I've had too many good friends in my life, though there have been a few close ones, they were not enough for me to say that they were good to me. Wooyoung seemed to be a rare gem, one that I would love to keep for myself.
"What if I told you I know a place where you can start working?"
"You do?" I was hopeful.
Wooyoung nodded. "But are you sure you're going to be okay going to work so soon again?"
My chest warms up with his words. "I have to do it," I sighed deeply. "Y-You were right, if I don't start now, then I won't start at all."
He smiles broadly. "That's a good outlook, I like that..."
He proceeded to tell me about the boutique down the street a couple of blocks away from his studio and they were looking for someone to keep tabs of sale and returned products. As it turned out, the owner was Wooyoung's very close friend and the boutique was where they get their clothes and props whenever they had a photoshoot going on.
"He's a nice guy and I'm positive he'll like you, just let me call him so I can pitch in a word for you, hmm?" Wooyoung pulled his phone out and was about to dial the number, but I interjected before he could do it.
"W-Wait, don't do it," I squeaked, holding my hands out to him to stop him from doing so.
"What's the matter?" Wooyoung's eyes softened at my panicked state and I almost felt bad. I barely knew this man and he probably thinks I'm so pathetic already. It was disheartening.
"You've helped me so much already, I'd feel bad if you did this for me," I admitted.
"And what exactly have I done for you?"  
"Listening to me rant was a big thing for me, and you do make a mean coffee," I giggled, he smiles shyly. "And you gave me justice on the photo you took of me."
"Speaking of that," Wooyoung stood up from his stool. "Wait here."
He left to go back to the front entrance of the studio, and he came back immediately. "Here."
He nudged a square-shaped packaging in front of me. I took it and from touch, I knew it was a picture frame that he had wrapped so carefully and perfectly, there were no creases on the wrap. My heart was beating so fast and my fingers were shaking ever so slightly.
"Open it when you get home," he instructed. "And I'm going to call him, my friend I mean. If I'm helping you anyway, I might as well go all out on it." 
"It's not a big deal," Wooyoung continued when I didn't respond, playfully flicking my forehead. "What are friends for?"
An explosive sensation boomed its way into my head all the way down to my chest, leaving a searing type of numbness in its trail. "Okay," I mumbled.
Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to him because I told my mother I was only picking the picture frame up, I was not expecting to stay this long, so she was probably worried. Fortunately, Wooyoung understood and walked me out. We couldn't properly converse afterwards anyway because a client of his suddenly called out of the blue after he had dropped the call with his boutique owner friend.
We said our goodbyes and I speed walk all the way to my house with the carefully wrapped picture frame in my hands. There was an explosion in my brain - the good kind - and a surge of excitement that electrified my whole being. I could feel it in my bones.
This is the very time I have ever been excited with a mystery. I hated surprises growing up because I was scared I wouldn't like the surprise.
With no time to waste, I quickly locked myself in my room, taking all of my clothes off in a haste and replacing them with something more comfortable and nap worthy. I unwrapped the gift like an animal tearing its prey apart to find their treasure inside.
Tears found their way in my eyes. I had no words, the photo itself was beautiful, I had seen it before, but Wooyoung had left a small note taped on the frame for me to read when I opened it.
You're worth more than you think. Wanna hang out tomorrow, beautiful? I also make mean brownies ;)
I completely broke down, hysterically crying not from sadness, but from the joy of the events that have been happening to me. Maybe being his friend wasn't so bad after all.
Tumblr media
"So you must be Y/N, correct?"
Having a direct connection like Wooyoung did wonders from my interview process and I was called exactly a week after he made the call. 
"Y-Yes, I am," I did a deep 90 degree bow immediately, but not before the man's eyes widened a bit. "L/N Y/N, Sir. I'm very h-honoured to be chosen for this role."
Needless to say, I am a nervous wreck. Wooyoung conveniently forgot to tell me that this was no ordinary boutique. It's a very well known fashion brand that had the catchy 'started from the bottom, now we're here' origin story.
I opened my eyes, I didn't notice they were tightly shut before, when I felt hands nudging me to stand up straight. "It's okay," he laughed. "I don't bite, please stand up..."
This one was handsome as well. He had an edgier style to him that was unique to him and him only. Think bold, defiant, and unconventional. His blue hair added to that grunge aesthetic.
He cleared his throat before speaking. "Kim Hongjoong, owner, and your future boss," he grinned.
My face pales a bit. The Kim Hongjoong? The great mind behind the boutique NO1LIKEME? The one Wooyoung had casually called and got me in? What has my life become in a month?
"Scaring the new girl already, Joong?"
I turned around, and a taller man with dark hair and almond shaped eyes smiled lightly at me with his thick lips. I almost rolled my eyes, either I'm losing my mind, or Wooyoung, himself, and all of his friends are all damn attractive.
"Oh, this is her?" he pointed at me, to which Hongjoong nodded. "I see. Song Mingi, thank you for considering us."
Thank me? I scoffed internally, the co-founder of NO1LIKEME is thanking me for working with them? I suppose that was why they were successful.
Mingi excused himself to man the business while Hongjoong had toured me around the shop. It was a lot bigger on the inside than I had initially thought.
I couldn't help but become very excited as Hongjoong showed me how he personally designs most of their pieces without trying to mass produce the majority of their products, which was very respectable on his end because mass producing can downgrade their quality.
The brand that I only reached in my dreams is now my workplace. I have to thank Wooyoung personally when I see him again.
They needed someone to do inventory checks and match them with the accountancy department. Hongjoong has a big project coming soon to collaborate with an international brand and Mingi has to take over for now while he's abroad. Fair enough.
As we were about to go into his office to sit down and discuss further, I stopped in my tracks. The most gorgeous black, flared dress was hanging in one of the posts. It's very simple, but very versatile, not too long as it stopped above the knee, and the sheer bodice elevated it.
"You like it?" Hongjoong asked before I had the chance to feel the fabric.
"I love it, actually. I've never seen anything like it," I admitted.
He chuckled, plucking the dress from its hanger and handed it to me gently after he folded it in half. "Make sure it's well-loved, then, because it's yours now."
"W-What?" I spluttered, eyes wide open. "No, I was just admiring it, I can't possibly take it. C-Can I pay for it, at least?"
"Think of it as your first day perk," he shrugged. "And no offense, giving away one dress isn't going to make a dent in my business."
I blushed, embarrassed to the highest degree. I was just about to thank him profusely when Mingi suddenly popped his head by the door.
"They're here," was all he said before Hongjoong and I walked back into the main part of the shop.
And there he was - Wooyoung. He was in an engrossed conversation with Mingi along with another - surprise, surprise - handsome man. He had a manlier aura to him compared to the other three, which was an interesting mix to his feline features.
Wooyoung, as if sensing I was present, turned to my direction and the look in his eyes made my insides churn in excitement. His friends were all pretty, but none of them had an effect on him like he did.
"Hey Joong," Wooyoung greeted after approaching me and Hongjoong from across the boutique. He smiled even brighter as he ruffled my hair lightheartedly. "Are you taking care of my Y/N?"
I blushed beet red, lowering my gaze with a nervous laugh to avoid any sort of eye contact. He can't just say these things and not expect me to react! The cat-looking man Wooyoung was with smirks at me, clearly amused.
But maybe, it was just me putting more to it than I should. Wooyoung has been nothing but kind to me and I can't reciprocate that with anything other than gratefulness.
"Get the hell out of here," Hongjoong chided, rolling his eyes, but teasingly because his eyes were full of the same mischief, but they were gone when he turned to me. "My assistant, Jongho, will call you sometime this week so you can get started officially."
I stopped the urge to bow deeply again at him as he turned around to go back behind the shop and instead repeated multiple 'thank yous' at him to express my gratitude. 
"Y/N, this is San, my long time friend and co-worker in the studio," Wooyoung introduced me to the other guy he was with when there were just the three of us left.
San smiles and his deep dimples pop out along with it. He nods in acknowledgement. "Very nice to meet you, Y/N, I personally loved that one photo of yours that Wooyoung took."
"He is a good taker," I shyly replied, blushing at the compliment, although I knew it wasn't directly referenced to me.
San snorted. "Yeah, that's the only thing he's good at."
"Hey!"
Wooyoung playfully swatted San's bulky arms in defense. We all had a small laugh before they both noticed the bag I was holding with the dress inside of it. I simply told both of them that Hongjoong had just given it to me after I admired it.
Behind the strict demeanor of being a boss, was the very generous and giving nature of Hongjoong, apparently. He had meant to give me something anyway simply because I was now friends with them, and also because Wooyoung spoke highly of me. I slightly felt bad because really, I would have been fine without it.
I should have thanked him more before he left.
"I would love to stay with you both and hang out," San glances at his phone to check the time. "But I have business to attend to. Where's Mingi?"
I pointed at some random door where I saw the latter enter earlier. I was about to leave since technically today wasn't my first day, just an introduction to the shop, and was about to basically run back to my house, when Wooyoung follows me out the door and slings his arms across my shoulders.
"Oh, you're leaving San?" I halted on my tracks, blushing profusely like some hormonal teenager that's never been touched by the opposite sex before.
"He was never meant to come," he chuckled. "I was about to fetch you and he decided he was going to come with me since he has to pick up some props from this gig we have next week."
My heart was pounding against my chest like a bird wanting to be out of its cage. He was so close to me, so close I could smell his breath, his body heat seeping into my subliminal thoughts.
This was an invasion, an unwanted intimacy. How have I lived without it for so long?
"Are you tired?" Wooyoung suddenly asked, breaking my thoughts apart and scattering them with the wind.
"N-No, not really. Why?"
He pulls me closer, my body plush against his. I wanted to melt. "Good," he grinned. "Let's go."
He starts to walk, but I plant my feet firmly on the ground. "Woah, wait, where are we going?"
"Would you say yes if I said I already reserved a spot to this brunch spot?"
I blinked owlishly at him. "No, I can't, I already ate before I called Mingi..."
The truth was, I was slightly ashamed to go. The last thing I wanted was to be treated like some sort of charity case. 
Also the reason being, no matter how hard I try, I will think of this as a date.
Wooyoung pouts, his hold on me loosening a bit. "Pretty please? What, are you sick of me already because we hang out everyday now?"
My breath hitched, and I was this close to giving in, but I must prevail and resist those big, beautiful eyes that were holding me captive like a tight vice.
"Maybe next time---" I sheepishly began to say, but a prominent growl made both me and Wooyoung freeze.
I cursed under my breath in shame. My stomach had growled, begging to be fed, and had basically called me out on my lie.
"Yeah, you ate alright," Wooyoung sarcastically remarked.
The next thing I knew, Wooyoung had pretty much dragged me to this retro looking place. It was the opposite of intimate and warm, rather, it was very bright and lively, filled with colorful tables, a snack bar, and the entire wall was made to be a canvas for purposeful graffiti.
Immediately, we sat at the very end of all of the available tables and no time was wasted when we ordered something quick, yet filling for the both of us; a clubhouse sandwich for me and a cheeseburger for Wooyoung.
"This place is so nice, where'd you find it?" I was still mesmerized by the whole setup.
"Picked it out with you in mind," he smirked.
Instead of blushing like I usually do, I let out a genuine laugh. "Seriously," I shook my head playfully.
"I am serious," he expressed with a slight frown.
"Are you like this with all the people you meet?" I mused, curious on what he has to say.
"Like what?"
"You know, you are a very touchy-feely person, certainly very outgoing as well. Do you usually hang out with everyone like this?"
He paused, staring at me with a blank expression. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly drying up, my breath slowing down.
"Yes, I am," he articulated after a while. "I was born this way I suppose, I swear I don't purposely flirt with everybody I meet."
"Oh," I murmured.
My heart sank, it felt like concrete weighing it down. The high of being out with Wooyoung in one moment was cut down the next. Is this what heartbreak felt like?
A hand on top of mine fully enveloped it with warmth. "But you," Wooyoung's thumbs caressed my knuckles with a small smile. "You're different. I can't explain it, Y/N, I've been trying to reason with myself."
"What do you mean?" It was my turn to ask.
His hand squeezed mine, but I felt like my heart got squeezed instead. "Meeting you was unexpected, but I'm so sure it was written. You're very easy to talk to, and I feel like I'm someone and more. It's either you or I'm alone, do you understand what I'm getting at?"
Of course I do. There has not been a day where we haven't seen each other ever since I stepped foot in that studio.
"I do," I nodded my head, smiling purely at him. "I felt good with you in a way I haven't before with other people, Woo. Thank you for approaching me that day, I'm glad to be your...friend."
His eyes widen a bit and he freezes. "What?" I nervously asked. He giggled like a child with no worry, he was just happy. 
"You called me 'Woo', I like it." 
I nervously laughed, mumbling a little yeah. I didn't even notice.
Luckily for me, our food came in and swooped me out of an incoming awkward conversation, at least on my end.
I couldn't help but let out an endearing smile as I watched Wooyoung thank the waiter kindly and then drool at his cheeseburger. Everything about him was so captivating; he felt like a warm, cozy home.
For now, the glue keeping my heart together is strong. He deserved a good friend, and I will be that for him. 
Wooyoung opened his mouth midair when he caught me staring at him. "Dig in, your food will get cold," he mused with concern.
I nod my head at him with a smile. I think he and I are going to be fine.
Tumblr media
Approximately seven months have passed by since that fateful day. Passing each time with Wooyoung, in the most obscure of situations, made my heart yonder and sing in tunes I never knew were so melodious.
"You know what I've been thinking lately?" Wooyoung mumbled all of a sudden.
He was currently laying on my lap while I played with his hair with one hand and held a book near to my face with the other. "What were you thinking, Woo?"
Safe to say, we've gotten so close with each other, soaking into moments enveloped in warmth, and the happiness was the contentment I never knew I'd ever feel in this lifetime.
Chasing time next to him was my salvation; my heaven on earth.
"Do you have a goal in this life?"
I raised a brow at the sudden question, peeking at him from where I was. He was already staring at me from below, and my blushing cheeks never really got better.
"Too deep of a question this morning," I chuckled. "But what do you mean? Everyone has a goal in life, whether they know it or not."
"True, but what I meant to say is, have you ever had a list of things you wanted to do? Regardless of how weird they are or how unattainable, do you know what I'm trying to say?" Wooyoung, and he did, he was always so dramatic about it.
I gave him a hum before responding. "Are you having an existential crisis?"
"Maybe," he laughed in that contagious, fox-like laugh of his. "So do you?"
"I-I have this small bucket list from when I was like 10," I admitted, lifting my book to hide my face.
Suddenly, it was yanked from me and thrown across the room. My mouth hung in shock. "Wooyoung!"
"Pay attention to me," he pouted.
"What the hell are you? A baby?" I rolled my eyes so far back up my head I was surprised they didn't get stuck behind my head.
"Only if it's yours--ow!" I yanked his hair in warning before I exploded from all the constant flirting. Some things never change.
"Anyway," I paused a bit to think, but decided to just say what was on my mind in the end. "I want to go to Mars."
I held my breath, expecting to hear an obnoxious cackle from Wooyoung, but there was nothing. When I glanced down, there he was - waiting expectantly for me to continue.
"I've always wanted to see a rainbow at nighttime, and no, the Aurora Borealis doesn't count."
"Interesting," he whispered. "Keep going."
The way Wooyoung was looking at me with a soft expression, and I must have looked dumb - my eyes were dilated a bit, dazed, like my brain was having a short circuit.
"Last, I gulped. "I want to hold my breath for a minute straight."
He raised his brows in amusement. "I'm not good at doing it," I defended myself, slightly embarrassed. "The most I've done was 15 seconds."
Wooyoung didn't say anything, he just stared at me intently in the eye as if he was counting all the eyelashes I had attached. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes. I frowned.
"What about you?" I softly asked. "Anything you'd like to do?"
It takes a solid minute for him to reply. "No, nothing in particular," he mumbled, his voice strained. "I don't like committing to something for a long time, you know that."
Indeed, I do. Once again, the shattering reality of how temporary all this was for the both of us was tearing me in two.
"There's just so much out there, you know?" Wooyoung continued. "So much to see, so much to feel, how can I just stay in one place?"
Wooyoung loved photography above anything else and was willing to spread his wings and venture out to find the perfect piece. He disliked committing his all in one place in case he had to leave one day. 
I remember the exact night we talked about it, a rainy day in July where we got too sentimental. I felt like choking, but there was nothing I could do, for this man was not mine to begin with.
"You know I will support you in whatever you want to do," I forced a smile on my face even though my mouth was on fire and my tongue hurt from the lies.
Wooyoung, again, stared at me intently. I blushed deep red, it looked like he was gazing through my skin and peeking through the darkest, deepest parts of my soul. The heat from his hooded eyelids emanated conflicted emotions, and then I saw it die as quick as it came.
"I know."
His sudden playful smirk painting his beautiful face throws me for a whiplash. Whatever that was, never happened.
He whips his phone out and starts tinkering with it with a concentration that looks too good on him - his stupidly attractive arms get veinier when he's concentrating and his brows furrowed together.
"Mars, huh?" he muttered, smirking, still not looking up from his phone.
"Yes? Don't make fun of me," I frowned.
"I'm not," he retorted. I looked at him in disdain. "I'm really not, I swear!"
I chose not to reply. Typical Woyooung, but that's what makes him so damn loveable; he was just being himself.
A couple of minutes later, Wooyoung pockets his phone, stands up dramatically, and hovers over me. "Get dressed," he said. "We're going somewhere."
I blinked repeatedly at him, and some more. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"What's wrong with my outfit right now?" I gestured to my oversized shirt and leggings.
He snorted comically. "Trust me, you're gonna need more than that."
Wooyoung saw the hesitation in my eyes. He hated committing as much as I hated trying new things. He extends his hand in front of me. 
"I've never led you astray, you know that," he whispered.
I nodded, taking his hand in mine. Even before he had asked, I was doomed anyway. How could I ever say no to him?
Tumblr media
Turns out he was right - I did need the extra layers.
It was, indeed, very cold right now. Wooyoung and I were currently in line, a line so long that it reached the outside of the establishment, and it was where we currently were.
"Woo, are you sure about this?" I asked through gritted teeth. "It's too windy, I think my fingers will fall off soon."
As if on cue, he pulls me closer to him. "It shouldn't take too long," he mumbled. "You okay?"
I nodded, humming a reply back at him. As long as I'm with you, everything will be alright...
"I must say," I began. "I didn't take you to be the museum type of guy."
Yes, we were currently in line to get inside this museum I have never ever seen before even though I've lived in this city my whole life. Wooyoung got both of us last minute tickets. The place was currently jam packed, the line was endless from behind us.
"I'm not," he shrugged. "I want to show you something."
My mind went into overdrive when Wooyoung quickly glanced at me before he looked back at the pamphlet he was holding. It was only a split second, but it was enough for me to infer the anticipation he had for this.
It was contagious and the dread I felt ebbed away.
"History and geology are both at the far right, art is by your left, cartography is unfortunately out of service indefinitely, and science is just straight ahead..."
The monotonous, robotic voice from the speaker all over when we got inside could have instructed better, but it was definitely better than getting lost. This place was massive.
"Let's go," Wooyoung enthusiastically grabbed my hand as we explored all the things we passed by.
"Oh Woo, look at that!" I giggled uncontrollably and hastily pointed out what I saw.
It was a life sized wood carving of a wisteria tree - the most beautiful thing I have ever seen as of late. Wooyoung squeezed my hand as we both approached it, reveling at the detail of whoever was its creator.
"Reminds you of something, doesn't it?" he smirked.
"How can I forget how we met?" I playfully rolled my eyes.
He laughed out loud, causing some people to look our way, but we couldn't care less. "As much as I want to stay, there's somewhere else we have to be," he winked.
He led me to the direction he, then, wanted to go. The way he pulled me with him made my heart swell. At the very moment, I blocked all the sounds, the chatter, from the background and I could only see him. 
Just when I felt like leading my heart somewhere else, he pulled it back towards him; a magnet I had no choice but to get attached to.
"W-Wooyoung?"
My eyes widened in disbelief when we stopped at something in particular. "I-Is this w-what I think it is?" I stuttered uncontrollably, gripping his hand tighter and tighter until he put his other hand on top of mine to stop me from shaking.
"Relax," he cooed. "And yes, it most certainly is."
Wooyoung had led me to the science section of the museum where there was a small room we could go inside - a planetarium. Today they just so happened to be exhibiting the planet Mars.
Wooyoung took me to Mars.
"Shall we go in?" Wooyoung gently guided me inside. My legs were weighted with lead, I couldn't do this on my own.
My breath came out in short intervals, my feelings overwhelming my sense of excitement muddled into a plate full of shock, confusion, and joy as I looked around the place with Wooyoung still holding my hand in his as if he knew I'd fall without him.
The whole room had a blue haze to it, the ceiling itself was a cool shade of midnight blue with little specks of white dots that were presumably the stars in the night sky. 
They covered the whole blue like snowflakes, and they would twinkle, or rather, blink at us, watching what we would do next.
I turned to look at Wooyoung, and my tears started to fall on their own. There was panic in his eyes, but he pulled me into a quick hug, and I hugged him back just as tight.
We didn't say a word, just basking in our body heat together with the stars as our witness.
He kissed my forehead tenderly before pointing out to a distance. "Look."
I gasped rather dramatically - it was Mars itself!
Or at least, a really big ball that was probably made out of styrofoam and dyed into the shade of rust red that mimicked the real deal.
"Before we go there, wipe your tears, jelly bean. I want you to be happy today..."
But he wiped my own tears for me anyway. Oh Wooyoung, I thought with dread. How do you expect me to not selfishly wish for you to stay instead of finding your own dreams?
Instead of a repeating robot telling everybody Mars' information, luckily it was an actual person making a presentation, like that of a tour guide but this one instead explained the planet with so much depth and detail.
Wooyoung makes an exaggerated "ah!" sound when the lecturer explains that the reason why Mars was red was because of the oxidation happening in regolith, the soil on the said planet, and thus making it appear red.
"Does anybody know how many moons the planet Mars has?" the lecturer had questioned with a pleasant smile.
"Two!" a teenager from the crowd had answered.
"Correct! Does anybody know what they're called?"
The crowd made confused noises and everyone seemed to be stumped for answers. I looked around and nobody seemed to know what they were, and even Wooyoung mutters something about not knowing that even moons had names. I sighed, mentally preparing myself so I don't get nervous.
"Phobos and Deimos," I had managed to answer without stuttering.
The lecturer looked surprised, but happy nonetheless that at least someone in the crowd knew. "That is correct!"
"Nerd," Wooyoung snickered. I elbowed him, too happy to let his jokes get to me.
When it got too crowded, we both decided to leave the museum as a whole. One thing we both had in common was that after a while, the air got stuffy when there was too much going on in one place.
The bus ride home was silent, but comfortable, and in reality, we were both too tired to talk anyway. With an adrenaline of short-lived bravery, I leaned my head against Wooyoung's shoulder. I sighed in relief when he didn't push me away.
"Did you have fun?" he asked with genuine curiosity when we both reached my front door.
"Did you?" I asked back with an equal amount of curiosity.
He nodded enthusiastically. "Of course I did, why wouldn't I?"
"You really didn't have to do this---"
He put his finger against my lip, effectively shutting me up and shutting my brain off as well. "Why can't you just enjoy the things I do for you?"
Because I am slowly getting more and more delusional with every single second I spend more with you and I keep imagining of what we would be like a few months from now- am I going to be alone again or will you remain in my life---
I shook my head to rid myself of the nastiest thoughts that keep coming through my psyche, but along with those was another burst of blood rushing to my brain that makes me do the unthinkable.
"Woah, woah," Wooyoung voice out, amused that I was initiating skin contact first. 
"Just shut up and let me hug you," I voiced out, but it came out muffled because my face was currently buried in his chest. "Thank you, Wooyoung, thank you very much, you have no idea what this means to me."
Wooyoung rocked me back and forth, healing my inner child. "I think I do," he whispered so softly I almost didn't hear him. "Just let it out..."
It was the first time he ever saw me cry willingly. The hands that patted my back provided me the solace I currently needed. They were gentle, soothing even. He had always been so patient with me, and those hands... 
Of all the things my hands have held, the best by far was his.
I felt selfish, so damn selfish, for feeling this way. But it's okay, none of it matters at this moment.
Tumblr media
Hey, ladybug. I don't think I'm able to make it in time today, or at all. Client is being finicky and all, I'm about to charge them extra for this. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you soon, hmm?
                         - J. WY
I heaved a loud, disappointed sigh as I locked my phone before pocketing it. My frown deepens and my brows knit in today's unexpected turn of events.
"That Wooyoung?"
"Yeah, says he can't make it today. Something about a shitty client," I shrugged.
I had invited Wooyoung last week to my family's dinner reunion. My whole family had taken a liking to Wooyoung - who wouldn't? - and my brother had suggested I invite him. This year, we were at our Uncle Yeonjun's place.
"It's not the end of the world," my brother teased.
I snorted loudly. "That obvious, Yeo? You look more crestfallen than I do."
Yeosang laughs heartily, taking a sip at whatever concoction our mother made. "I mean, I've only known him longer than you," he joked. 
It turned out that Woyooung was part of my brother's friend group, talk about coincidence. "Besides, you gotta cheer up before anyone notices," he added.
"Why?"
"Because you look like a lovesick puppy that got abandoned by its owner," he clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "No offense to our cousins, but they can be do damn nosy, especially Soobin and Kai."
I knew that Yeosang was just trying to distract me from whatever I was feeling. As per his advice, I faked a smile just so nobody questions why I'm feeling so down.
Wooyoung was currently out of town and had been so busy with his job so we haven't really seen each other for a couple of days now, however we do call each other every night.
My train of thoughts were squashed when Yeosang elbows me gently. "Hey," he said with a soft smile. "You want to get us food so I take you home?"
If I were to write on a piece of paper of how much my older brother has done for me, the trees would cease to exist from all the paper and wood for all the pencils.
The night wasn't all that bad, Yeosang did everything in his power to distract me and even brought our cousins into it, not that they knew what was up. We took the party to the backyard, just singing, dancing, and fooling around like the young adults we were.
The little reunion was family, music, and food. It was simple, memorable, and destined to make me forget for a little.
The night had to end, and that meant I had to go home alone to my thoughts. My parents will stay overnight and Yeosang did not live with us anymore.
The jingle of the front door's keys only solidified the loneliness that awaited for me from behind it.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay? I can just drive early in the morning," Yeosang suggested as we both walked in the house and closed the door behind him.
"Yeo, I'm not a child anymore," I chuckled. "I appreciate it, but you should go, you have work tomorrow, yes?"
"Well, yes, but---"
"Then get your ass out of here."
Yeosang rolled his eyes at my teasing tone, but ended up laughing anyway. He pulled me in for a quick hug and pecked cheek. "Call me if you need anything."
He was gone within a minute, and once again, I was left alone with my despair. And what better way to shower these thoughts out?
But that made it worse. The involuntary shower thoughts were poison to my already weak mind.
I've conquered the art of being alone, and now that I had Wooyoung with me, it never really made things easier. My endless days filled with cold fire were quickly replaced with warm companionship...
I felt like an empty box without him. It was ridiculous, really, I knew this was wrong; a mistake I knew I wasn't supposed to feel.
I missed him.
Ding, ding, ding
I had just finished dressing up when I heard the doorbell ring. Confused, I slowly treaded my way downstairs. My parents weren't supposed to be home and Yeosang would have called beforehand if he forgot something.
The doorbell rings again, more hurriedly the second time. Screw it, I thought apprehensively. Yeosang is in charge of my obituary if I unfortunately pass away tonight...
With a deep breath, I swung the door open, my eyes tightly shut. Yeah, I know, serial killers would love me.
Silence. I knew somebody was in front of me, but they weren't saying anything. My mind caught up with the stupidity of my actions and I froze. Is this how I die?
"A-Are you okay?"
That squeaky voice, that sounds so familiar. I wanted to smack my head, I missed him so much, I was hearing him.
"Nice tits, Y/N."
My eyes shot open so fast that the light came in a bit faster than I expected to and I became a little dizzy. My brain buffers while my thoughts try to catch up. After I realized what I just heard, I took a closer look in front of me.
I let out a little gasp. "W-Woo?" I whimpered pathetically.
There he was, standing at my doorway, 9 o'clock in the evening. My heart lurched at the sight of him - so ethereal.
There was nothing specific to him that made him so stunning to me, maybe it was his iconic red hair, or maybe the way he looked at me right now would be close. They were intense, yet gentle. Polite, but not noble. 
I blushed, wanting to cover up, but his eyes held me hostage. They trailed from my face, slowly down my neck, to my exposed cleavage, before bringing them back up again to look at me, the unmistakable hunger in those orbs very much present.
"Y/N," Wooyoung drawled out without breaking eye contact, sticking his tongue out to lick his bottom lip excruciatingly slow for my sanity. "Let me in."
A sudden wave of nausea hits me, rendering me weak in his mercy as I finally feel my brain melt in my head. What the hell.
His kissable lips pulled up slowly to a smirk, mischievous, and we were both released from that little cage of sin we almost trapped ourselves in. 
Woooyoung laughs out loud. "You should have seen your face," he wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.
My face reddens both in embarrassment and mild anger. Against my better judgment, I move to slam the door to his face. "You!" I hissed menacingly.
"Wait, wait!" he panicked, quickly stopping the door from completely closing by putting his boots in between. "I'm sorry! You just looked so far away, I couldn't help but tease you--"
"Not helping your case, Woo--"
"I traveled here in two hours from a place that would have taken three," he whined, grabbing my hand from the outside. "Please?"
I let out a very loud exaggerated sigh before I let go of the door. Besides, he might not look like it, but Wooyoung was built. He could have pushed the door forcefully if he really wanted to.
"Sorry," he giggled, hugging me from behind with his head resting on top of my head. "Turn around for me?"
I'm so ashamed of how weak I had become with him, but what can I say? 
I buried my head on his chest, inhaling the scent that I missed so much - warm and clean - and everything hit me all at once.
He really was here with me. I was so happy that I almost felt sick and anxious. It comes off as a raging storm in my heart that was almost painful. The unbelievable sorrow I've gone through the last few days melted away in Wooyoung's blissful embrace.
"Did you drink tonight? How'd you get home?" he inquired after we pulled away.
"I did, and Yeosang took me home."
"Oh? Is he here? I didn't see his car outside."
I explained that Yeosang had to go back to his apartment because he had to work in the morning. He nodded intently, humming to himself.
"I have a surprise for you," he smiled, lifting the duffel bag he had bought with him. "How about you nap a bit while I prepare this?"
The next thing I knew, Wooyoung was already building a makeshift bed out of the couches we had in the living room so I could lay on them real quick.
The light pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the windows were the ones that woke me up. They have been falling steadily without fail before I opened my eyes. 
I would have been content staying in the warmth of the blankets, to grab a mug of tea and feel the soothing coldness of the breeze hit my nose as I inhaled deeply.
But I had to find Wooyoung. It wouldn't be too difficult, I knew exactly where he was. He loved the rain, you see.
A tender smile creeped up on his face when he noticed me sitting beside him on one of the stools on our roofed backyard. "You're awake," was all he said.
"How long was I out?" I groggily asked, swallowing the aspirin tablets he handed out. "Thanks."
"Not too long," he handed me a tall glass of water. "Close to an hour and a half, maybe."
"You were working while I was napping?" I gestured to the setup he had in front of us. Various strips of undeveloped films were strewn all over along with a camera I did not recognize, and...a glass pyramid?
"Nice paperweight," I pointed at it, a little hurt that even though he came for me, his focus was still on his work.
Wooyoung chuckled lightly. "No work, not necessarily," he shook his head. "That's not a paperweight. Why don't you be a doll and pick it up for me?"
I could feel the tips of my ears warm up but I picked up the pyramid anyway. It was a lot lighter than I initially thought it would be.
I looked at Wooyoung in confusion when he suddenly pointed out to the moon. "See the small beam of light coming down?" 
I nodded. Indeed, the moon seemed brighter today. It looked more beautiful than the stars that surrounded it. "That," he gestured to the triangular glass I was holding. "That is a prism, and I want you to put it where the moonlight is."
I frowned. "What?"
"If you're worried about the rain, you don't have to put it directly under it, just a small light would do," he bargained, chuckling at my confused face.
I did what he said, apprehensively stretching my hand out to put the so-called prism under the moonlight. I smiled a bit, I will admit, the combination of the rain and light hitting its surface made it look extremely breathtaking.
I tilted it slightly to catch the different angles since I realized each angle made it glow in different shades of lights. One flick of my wrist shone a colourful beam of light that landed on the ground. 
"Wow," I breathed out. "That's beautiful, Wooyoung."
He smiled back. "Keep tilting."
Suddenly, an arc formed from the prism to the ground beneath me. I was in awe, this one had different colours to it. From red to yellow to purple, it shone clearly against the rain. I giggled, it reminded me of rainbows. If only it was daytime...
I gasped, dropping the prism on the ground with a loud clunk. My face was drained of blood as I turned sharply to Wooyoung with wide eyes. But he wasn't worried about my pale state. His smile shone brighter than any prism out there. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to take a photo of his charming smile.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" he grinned, picking up the prism and tilting it himself against the rain and the light.
I've always wanted to see a rainbow at nighttime, and no, the Aurora Borealis doesn't count."
"Interesting," he whispered. "Keep going."
"You remembered, oh my God, you remembered..." I sniffled, burying my face in my hands.
"Why wouldn't I?" he smiled, pulling me in for a hug.
Wooyoung kissed my forehead delicately with great care and the look he gave me was something I will never forget.
We spent the next hour or so playing with different shapes of prisms that Wooyoung bought from where he went. The client he had earlier owned a glass manufacturing company and Wooyoung requested for these to be made as a form of payment.
This rainy day soaked all the memories we had made for both of us, providing us the soundtrack we deserved, and it was unlike any other. I laughed like I never laughed before at this crazy little daydream, wishing it would last forever.
And soon, I learned to love the rain like Wooyoung. There will never be a rainy day where I never not think of him ever again.
"You better make me look good or I won't give you pictures," he threatened playfully.
When the rain had stopped, we opted to take pictures as proof of this core memory. The unfamiliar camera I saw earlier turned out to be a self-developing one, the modern cameras that instantly printed out tiny polaroid pictures in less than fifteen seconds.
"You literally took the shittiest photos of me, you hypocrite," I rolled my eyes at him, trying my best to cover my eyes with the camera so he wouldn't see the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes.
"They're mine to keep," Wooyoung stuck his tongue out at me. What a brat.
But he was my brat. The tears that were once the symbol of the everlasting happiness that Wooyoung had been willingly giving me, were now drowning me in the bottomless sorrow that embraced me in a sea of ice cold water.
I loved him.
If I ever cross my heart, if I ever lie or deny the heart that beated for him, then I'd hope to die.
I loved him when we both stared at that park's wisteria, I loved him when he laid in my arms until he fell asleep, I loved him when he told me he'd always be there for me, I loved him then, and I love him now.
"Do you want me to put the movie on?" I asked after we've both settled down, shivering a bit. I never realized how cold it was outside until both me and Wooyoung came back inside.
Wooyoung mumbled a soft hum of affirmation while he was busy in the kitchen reheating some food I had bought with Yeosang earlier. He wasn't even doing anything groundbreaking but he was still so devastatingly loveable in my eyes.
The movie was boring, or rather, my attention just wasn't geared towards it. All I could focus on was the intense, burning passion I had for my best friend. I shut my eyes closely, as if doing so will get rid of the plaguing thoughts.
I let out a small gasp when Wooyoung pulled me to him, his arms wrapped around my waist. "What's going on in that pretty little head?" he sluggishly asked, nudging his head in the crook of my neck.
I am about to explode. He has always been the cuddly kind, but now that I have finally admitted to myself how much I truly loved him, his touch burned me on the inside, electrifying every cell in my body in response to his tender touch. 
"Nothing," I shrugged nonchalantly.
He chuckled, gripping my jaw lightly and turning my head towards his. I stopped breathing when I realized that he was closer than I thought. If I lean even an centimeter more, our lips would touch.
Wooyoung searches my face intently. "Don't lie to me."
I stare at him in the eye, not really knowing what to say. His hand was still on my jaw, but that was the last of my worries right now. I really want to tell him, I want to shout how much I loved him; how much he made me feel like I was everything when in reality I was nothing.
My mouth opens to say something, but immediately closes. In a moment of realization, Wooyoung's eyes widened a bit before his hand dropped from my jaw. There was a storm brewing in those beautiful eyes, and at this moment, I knew I was about to lose him.
"W-Wooyoung," I blurted out, full on panicking at this point.
"Don't look at me like that," he whispered, his voice breaking in the middle.
"What do you mean?" I sniffled, wanting to reach out and touch him, but stopped myself.
"You know what I mean."
A bitter sensation rose like bile up my throat. My heart isn't just broken, it was now a shadow of what it once was that was slowly fading away little by little.
He knows. Him knowing me like the back of his hand was a curse to a blessing, and not that blessing was a curse. He knows that I am in love with him, the last thing I ever wanted him to know.
"Let's finish the movie," I giggled, though it probably sounded fake.
I frowned when Wooyoung shut the TV off as a whole. "Y/N," he sounded stern. I stayed silent, not even looking him in the eye. 
He sighed deeply. "I can give you anything, but not that," he stated, his arms still around my waist tightening a bit. "You're my best friend, I cannot lose you. Not like this."
My fear of loss was proof of my love for him. I loved him so much, I was willing to let him go.
I rolled my eyes playfully, forcing myself to look at him and grin widely, even though my tongue burned. "What are you saying? We'll be friends until the end of time," I laughed, lightheartedly elbowing him.
There was a passing look of hurt in his features, but it left as soon as it came. "Are you sure you're fine with this?" he squinted his eyes suspiciously at me.
"Of course," I snorted. "Maybe I'm just confused, but you know me Youngie, I'm tough."
He was still suspicious, but he laughed along with me anyway. "I know you are," he chortled, pinching my cheek really, really hard.
"Ow! You imp!" I grab his cheek to pinch it back just as hard, playing along with him.
We decided not to finish the movie and just rest for the night. As I lay back down on the makeshift bed Wooyoung made for me earlier, with him cuddling me from behind and pretty much spooning me, I let it all out.
Silent tears flowed down from my eyes and I had to put my knuckles in my mouth to prevent myself from making any sound. I can feel Woyooung's chest rising up and down against my back and that's how I knew he was sleeping, but I didn't want to risk waking him up.
My heart hurt so much, because I knew my love will never be reciprocated. Wooyoung loved his dreams too much to choose us, I knew that. I tried so damn hard to stop my growing feelings but to no avail. The voice that came out from me so naturally to tell him that I was fine, that what I felt for him was just a silly little crush, sounded so far away; it didn't even sound like me.
The attraction between us became an intangible broken thread and there was no way to reattach the fragments, though I know that I was the only one scattered and lost.
Tumblr media
I knew we weren't going to last forever, but I wasn't expecting the beginning of the end to happen so soon.
A knock from my left snaps me out of my thoughts. It was Mingi tapping on my desk, his brow raised.
"Sorry," I sheepishly mumbled, trying to focus on the task at hand. Hongjoong already left for New York so it was just me and Mingi in the shop.
I couldn't concentrate, I kept glancing at my phone hoping Wooyoung would reply to my messages. Something was wrong, and I was very close to having a mental breakdown.
Woo? Are you busy? Wanna hang out at the new place later after work?
I kept telling myself that it was fine, he's busy, he's been in-demand lately because he truly was a talented photographer with a particular set of skills that were a rarity in such a condensed industry, but I couldn't help but feel like he's been very distant lately.
Wooyoung has been avoiding me and I don't know what to do.
To keep my insecurities in check, I've been going in the deepest pits of my mind to tolerate my thoughts and letting these negative feelings pass - so I can react appropriately and not go crazy over the things I had no control over.
Wooyoung? Is everything okay? You aren't responding...
Truth be told, I felt pathetic. I got so attached to Wooyoung that I forgot how I was before I met him - alone. It wasn't his fault, he doesn't owe me anything, it was me who let my heart chase a person who never even wanted to be found in the first place.
Another knock made me jump from my thoughts.
"Y/N," Mingi sighed, taking his glasses off and setting them down on his own desk. "Can I talk to you really quick?"
I bit my lip, nodding. Mingi had always been the type of boss that drew a line with everyone, except Hongjoong. He was strict, very intimidating, but it suited him, so I'm a bit nervous that he was calling me out. 
"I'll be straight with you, yeah? Is it Wooyoung?" he asked out of genuine curiosity, his sharp eyes piercing through me.
I didn't respond, I couldn't, so I kept my head low. I heard Mingi sigh again. "Hey," he says softly. "This is off the record, okay? I won't tell Hongjoong, although I suspect he already knows anyway."
I looked up, frowning. "What do you mean?" 
Mingi crossed his arms, leaning back against his chair a bit more relaxed. "I can't speak for him, but for me personally? I know Wooyoung more than you think I do. You just haven't seen us together because I've been so busy lately."
He was right. Mingi continued. "Look, it's a shame to see you like this. We really like you, you're hardworking, critical, smart, and whatnot..."
"T-Thank you, Mr. Song," I blurted out.
"Just Mingi," he brushed off. "What I'm trying to say is, save yourself for a man that isn't him. He won't choose you."
I already knew that, but hearing it didn't make it hurt less. Tears started to pool in the corners of my eyes. Mingi curses under his breath.
"Go home," he gestured out the door. "Take the day off."
"B-But we still have work left," I stuttered.
He gives me a small smile. "I'll manage. Go before I change my mind."
I suppose I was thankful about being sent home, it did help my nerves a bit. I've gotten home, showered, ate dinner, and did the most mundane things I could ever do, but Wooyoung never replied.
I woke up the next day, clutching my phone, muttering a little prayer in my head as if I would miraculously see his name pop up in my notifications, telling me good morning like he used to every single day.
The tears I've been holding off since yesterday ran down like waterfalls from my eyes. I missed him so much, and I've got nobody to blame but myself. I wished I kept it in, how much I loved him I mean. Maybe we would have been hanging out by now, laughing obnoxiously at nothing in particular.
Before I could stop myself, I dialed Wooyoung's number. The beating of my heart pounded along with the ringing tone against my ear. I was about to hang up, when I heard the familiar click of answer.
Hello?
I covered my mouth with my hand to prevent me from choking up. Oh, how I missed this voice.
"H-Hey, Woo, how are you doing?" I apprehensively asked.
I can't really talk right now, little dove, what do you want?
I was confused, my frown getting deeper. There was tension on the line, a tension so brittle it could snap in a moment, and if it doesn't, I might. He sounds like his normal self, but he sounds so rigid, his voice clipped.
"Nothing, I-I just wanted to hear your voice," I was so anxious at this point, especially when Wooyoung didn't say anything back for a moment.
I can feel the fear spreading throughout my chest. I let out a slow, controlled breath and attempted to loosen my body.
What? You called me for that? I have my own things to do, Y/N, you can't just call me for something so stupid.
I felt my heart bleed, twisting, turning, and rendering my insides tight. I don't respond, wide eyed, my heart in my throat. I needed him to tell me everything was going to be alright, to soothe me but instead he continued.
I'll call you when I have time, okay?
"B-But you said I can call you whenever I needed you," I whispered in the smallest voice I could muster.
I know what I said.
The tone of his voice, so cold and so upset, brought shivers down my spine. "I'm sorry," I whimpered. "I'm so lonely, I miss you. C-Can you come for a bit? O-Or I'll come if you cannot..."
I'll see.
And then he hung up, not bothering to wait for my response. Hot tears, ones he will never witness, were falling even faster than before and soaking my pillows. I felt the wetness of my skin and each drop killed my soul little by little.
What is happening? That wasn't the man I know, that wasn't the Wooyoung I have come to love over the past year.
Sharp knives dig into my heart even deeper, bringing more pain, making me cry out in the most desperate of as it keeps slicing over and over again. I was so lost at the torment my mind was putting me through.
When I was at my lowest, when others took what I could not afford to give, Wooyoung saved my life. The voice that once kept me alive was now the one that was slowly sucking every little bit of hope in my soul.
Tumblr media
The first day was fine, I was able to rationalize with myself and not think of Wooyoung every second of the day.
The first week was a bit difficult, but I was still able to manage and get by day by day even though I can feel myself slowly slipping away.
The first month, I couldn't take it anymore. My parents noticed that I wasn't being myself lately, but they chose not to comment anything out of respect, but when I completely stopped eating and going out was when they began to worry significantly.
I understand that my best friend might never be able to give back all the love I have from him, but there is something much, much worse than hate or ignorance.
It was indifference. The night I had unintentionally confessed to him was the night everything between us started to blur.. He was cold, I wasn't expecting him to love me back, but abandoning me and acting like I don't exist or matter at all was turning all my loneliness into desperation.
Screw it. If he's not going to see me, then I'll go see him.
It wasn't too difficult to borrow the family car with the pretense of going out to enjoy myself. They didn't know Wooyoung was the source of my melancholy. I haven't had the heart to tell them because they really liked him.
"Woo?" I knocked on his apartment door, the door that used to excite me, now terrified me.
No response. I knew for a fact that he was inside and was ignoring the hell out of me because his lights were on - he always turned them off whenever he was going somewhere all the time. I was getting extremely annoyed at this point, and my anger had nowhere to dissipate.
"Jung Wooyoung, I know you're in there," I knocked frantically. "Open the freaking door."
When I still got no reply, I had no choice but to get the spare key he hid under his doormat. I could've done it earlier, I wasn't in the mood to be disrespected right now.
The moment I swung his door open, I saw him. He was just there, sitting on a chair with his arms crossed, staring me directly in the eye. I stood by his doorway, frozen, staring back at him. 
"Woo--"
"Close the damn door and sit down," he sighed exasperatedly. The cold indifference in his eyes was killing me.
The atmosphere was completely tense, I didn't even know where to start. I used to love being in his apartment, but now I was itching to get out.
Then I saw it - the same duffle bag he bought the glass prism to give me a lunar rainbow now filled with all of his clothes.
"What the hell is this?" I gritted, not being able to hold back the anger I was feeling at the moment.
"What does it look like?" he glared, his jaw taut and clenched tight.
"Is this why you weren't talking to me?" I asked, my voice full of hurt. "How can you do this, Wooyoung? How could you do this to us?"
He scoffed. "There is no us, my princess," he mocked. It stung, I didn't know this Wooyoung, or was this his true nature all along?
"Then why am I still your princess, then?"
There was a second where his eyes morphed back into the man I loved, but before it even lasted, it went to this hostile stranger than got off on the hurt he was giving me. He avoided eye contact, opting to look down and stare at the floor tiles. 
"Say something," I begged.
"I heard you," he snapped, as if I meant absolutely nothing to him. 
Clearly, he wasn't expecting me to even confront him at all, and intended to push me far, far away as long as he possibly could.
That refusal to smile, to show me any warmth was his way of being antagonistic towards me.
His eyes stopped at mine, and the moment it laid on me, I knew that there was nothing left for me to salvage. This is really the end.
Tears flowed nonstop from my eyes and before I knew it, I was in front of him, aggressively hitting his chest using my fist with all my might, hoping he could feel all the pain he gave me.
"Stop it, Y/N," he hissed, trying to avoid my hits. But I didn't. All the anger and sadness were so intertwined that I didn't know which one prevailed.
"I said stop it!", he shouted. He grabbed my wrists painfully and held them against his chest. "You better stop, or so God help me, I will make you stop, and trust me, you do not want that."
Something akin to fear crept into my chest. I have never, ever heard him raise his voice before.
"Had I known that you were going to be the bane of my existence, I would have ignored you at the park back then!" I screeched at him, trying very hard to get my hands back by thrashing around.
"Had I known you were going to be like this, I wouldn't have taken a photo of you!" Wooyoung's grip got so tight that I literally felt no blood circulating towards my hand.
"You good for nothing ass, you're hurting me! Let me go!" I growled, but it came out as a whine.
"Not until you calm down!"
We went back and forth like that, arguing like little children. The fight between us was a destruction in the making, tearing us instead of bounding us together.
I swallowed the anger that threatened to spill out of me, and it grew in my chest as the person I loved did absolutely nothing to wipe the tears from my eyes. At least he was a bit surprised when I screamed a scream from deep within, and it terrified the both of us because it didn't even sound like me.
"How am I supposed to look at anyone else?" I cried, my head leaning on his chest out of exhaustion. "I don't want anyone else anymore because I will be afraid to trust."
"I'm sorry," was all he said. He didn't even want to wrap his arms around me and just let me hang in there.
"No, you're not," I cried even harder. 
"Y/N, please, you're making this difficult for me," his voice breaks in the middle. I feel the intensity in his voice, a massive amount of emotion behind every word he spoke.
"And how do you think I feel, Wooyoung?"
"I understand, but--"
"This is how you are, full of excuses, full of shit!"
"Let me talk--"
"Why are you leaving me? Why are you--"
"Because I love you!"
I must've looked so shocked, so devastated, and so scared that Wooyoung, himself, started breaking down. We held each other as if it was our last, and at that moment, it was just the two of us against everything in this world.
Wooyoung held my face with his shaking hands, tears flowing down from his own eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine. That somehow made me cry harder. "I love you so much, goddamn it," he choked.
"But you're not going to stay," I whimpered against his criminal hold. 
Though he felt so warm right now, I knew it wasn't going to last. I could get lost in his eyes right now because they felt like home as we both cried in each other's arms. After all the countless nights I wished he felt the same, this felt foreign. 
He was an oasis in a barren desert and the best thing I could do was stare.
"You appearing in my life was never planned," he whispered. "I never expected to fall as deeply as I did with you, Y/N."
"If you feel the same, then why can't you stay with me?" I asked pitifully.
"I can't, baby, this wasn't supposed to happen," he took a deep breath. "I can't love you."
"You can't, or you won't?"
He didn't respond. That got him. I sighed.
"Woo, look at me?" I tilted his chin up very gently until he did. "Don't do this to us," I pleaded. "You're looking at me with clouded eyes right now, you know I see through your lies..."
Wooyoung doesn't reply, choosing to walk away from me to pace across the room in a fret. I watched him collect his mind apprehensively.
"If I can't have me, then no one can," he finally said.
I stared at him as my heart started slowly breaking once again. This incomprehensible pain was consuming me bit by bit, my heart was bleeding.
"I would regret it for the rest of my life if I don't chase the longest dream I've ever had," his eyes were laced in pain. "The photography world is waiting for me..."
"Is this why you didn't want anything or anyone tying you down to this place, Woo? You didn't want to commit because you might never want to leave?"
That was it. The way he looked at me told me everything I needed to know. I had lost him before I even had him, and I can only weep and let myself come to terms with the one that got away. So I cried, I cried as Wooyoung held me in his arms, rocking me back and forth like he used to when we spent time together.
"Hush now," he started crying with me. "I hate that it seems you were never enough." He hugged me tighter. "Because you are, you were more than enough."
"But I'm the one that should mean something! So help me understand," I sobbed harder in his arms, afraid to let him go because he might disappear if I do.
He wipes my tears away with his thumbs. "If one day we see each other again," he croaked. "However long that will take, we will try again for each other, okay?"
I shook my head like a crazed maniac, muttering no, no, no repeatedly. "Wooyoung," I wailed, holding onto his arms tightly. "P-Please don't leave me..."
I begged him over and over again like my life depended on it, and to be fair, I felt like I was going to die if he left me entirely. At this point I didn't care if I was going to be his second choice as long as he stayed.
"Y/N, please don't make this harder than it is," Wooyoung denied. "Go home, please I'm begging you. You're going to make me do something we'll both regret, please."
He was about to leave, but I held him back from behind, holding onto him as tight as I possibly could. "Stop it," he pleaded, trying to pry my arms off of him, but I held tighter, wailing harder.
"P-Please, please don't go," I bawled. "I'll do anything, I'll--"
"Stop it!"
His booming voice made me gasp, or maybe that was the sudden hold he had on my shoulders. The way his eyes darkened wasn't something I missed as his nails dug into my shoulders.
"Do not say that," he hissed, his dark eyes boring into me. "We are both in my room, alone. You know what that means, right?"
"So take me, Wooyoung."
Something changed in the air, and between the two of us right at this moment. Wooyoung's eyes widened a bit, his hold on my shoulders tightening , before he grimaced. "You don't know what you're saying," he laughed dryly.
I knew it was wrong, but right now I wanted nothing but to feel all of him. I will throw all the dignity I have right now, I don't care. The moment I begged him to stay, I'd lost it all, anyway.
"The notion of sin has never sat too well with me," Wooyoung gulped, his voice thick with lust.
"And leaving me does?" I blurted, my own eyes hazy with want.
Wooyoung shook his head fervently and sweat was beginning to form at his hairline. "Y/N, I am only a man, please don't make me do it..."
He buried his head in the crook of my neck, his breathing was so laboured and every time he took a breath, I felt everything on my skin. I mewled when I felt him pause, then lick the most sensitive part of my neck.
"Fuck, you smell and taste so good," Wooyoung growled.
Everything happened so fast. In a split second, his touch electrified every nerve in my body, the intoxication was instantaneous. He hurriedly grabbed my face and immediately put his lips on mine, like I was his air and he needed me to live.
His arms wrap around my back, and in one motion, our bodies collide. His hand was pulling and tugging my hair, muttering how soft they were in between kisses. I kiss him back with equal fervent, quickly opening my mouth so his tongue can explore. Our bodies fit together like we were made to do this.
He pulls away and we lock eyes for a moment, just enough to see that we were far too gone to stop, before we were back at it again, this time on his bed. The kiss we shared was of raw intensity, the groans he made behind his throat made every hair on my body stand up in attention.
"Baby," he groaned, his voice muffled because he was back to attacking my neck. 
"Hmm?" was I could reply with, especially with how rough he was kneading my breasts from under my shirt. 
"You held your breath for a minute straight while my tongue was in your throat."
I blushed deep. We were almost about to have sex and he still remembered that? I never thought his mouth would be this dirty.
We caressed each other's skin through the night, not getting enough of each other as we became one. His touches were exhilarating, whenever he laid his fingers on my skin tingles. Both of us move in sync, not taking our eyes off of each other.
There were no thoughts, and no focus - only lust and desire.
My back arches in anticipation from his light hands as he watches my reaction, feeling how my hands shook, watching my body tremble every time he used his fingers.
Whatever Wooyoung was doing, there was no stopping. Just his scent from above me was enough to incapacitate me. Every thrust he did was enough for me to fall deeper, and deeper for him and he never stopped until we were warm and snuggled after we were finished.
But nothing lasts forever - even guilty pleasures. 
"Wooyoung?" I asked nobody in particular the moment I woke up, my voice sore from all the screaming the night prior.
I sat up, covering my body with the blanket that smelled so much like him, looking around to see if he was somewhere since he wasn't lying down beside me on his own bed, but no. 
I didn't think much of it, maybe he just went to the bathroom to freshen up, but deep down my heart, I knew he had left.
There was something on the spot where Wooyoung was supposed to be - a piece of paper. I hesitantly picked up, realized it was a letter addressed to me, and opened its contents. Little dots of wetness dropped down the paper from every tear as I read on.
'To the one I'm letting go,
I'm sorry, Y/N. I am so, so sorry for everything I will put you through starting now. By the time you're reading this, I would have been long gone.
You will always be the most important person of my life, whether you believe it or not. You have absolutely no idea how wonderful and colourful you have made my life into for the past year and I always smile knowing that you'd be there to share my achievements with.
I knew I would develop feelings for you the moment I saw you in that park. God, you looked so beautiful. The fates were funny like that, because I wasn't even supposed to be at the park that day. My usual spot was unavailable that day.
Please be happy, do not forget your meals, study well so you can go into that college you've always wanted to, don't eat too many sweets because they make you hyper, be mindful of nuts in every food since you are allergic to them since I can't be there to check them for you anymore.
The gift of friendship as great as yours is something I will forever cherish in my heart, Y/N. Our little moments where we laughed and cried together still makes me happy to this day. You may have come into my life unexpectedly for what felt like a minute, but the mark you left will last us forever.
You're going to have to move on for me, and I will do the same, even if it hurts both of us, okay? I have to leave, it's either you or my dreams, and I know you have dreams of your own. This love will always hold us back.
However, if I see you again one day, I cannot guarantee that I will hold back because I am going to take you whether you like it or not and make you mine.
But for now? I cannot hate you, but I cannot love you either.
Yours, J. WY'
I hyperventilated, my hands shaking violently as I held the letter that might as well have been my death certificate.
I knew one way or another, this was going to happen and I was prepared for it so I wouldn't get hurt in the near future, but it hasn't fully hit me until now. 
Long ago, I had forgotten how to scream because they were either ignored or criticized with cruelty, but the way I screamed my soul out broke my own heart. My grief came in waves, ebbing gradually at the ocean that needed to bleed from my eyes.
"Oh, Wooyoung," I cried his name out pitifully, holding the letter close to my heart. I knew I loved him, but the loss of him really solidified how strong it was. How was I supposed to survive the feeling of something so dear that got forcefully ripped away from me?
I must've wallowed in my despair and self-pity a little too much, that I forgot that there were clutters and footsteps outside of the room. They were the reason I woke up. Could it be..?
I half heartedly rubbed my tear-stained face with my hands to make the swelling go away before I dressed up decent enough to step out.
The footsteps stopped when I apprehensively opened the door, the creak of it echoing across the otherwise barren room. 
My eyes widened and landed on two men who were both staring at me also wide-eyed the moment I opened my door, as if they were listening in on me suffering.
"Who the hell are you?!" I had meant for that to be threatening, but it came out as a pathetic squeak.
They both stepped back, surprised at the spunk I had even though it was clearly very early in the morning.
"We mean no harm, we promise," one of them said calmly. He reminded me of a bear, and the relaxed fit of his jeans that tucked his black tee made his form even bigger. "I'm Jongho, your brother and the two workaholics sent me..."
I raised my brow, he must be Hongjoong's assistant, the other workaholic was Mingi. Yeosang did also mention a best friend in passing. I raised a brow on the other one expecting him to talk.
He was tall, definitely taller than Mingi, and they kind of looked like each other, though this one reminded me of an overgrown puppy. He was very good-looking as well. He was lean, though there's definitely some bulk on him too.
He waves a set of keys in front of him. "I'm Yunho, San gave me the keys," he worriedly explained. "I was hoping you could explain. I made breakfast..."
The food was very good, but I didn't have the heart to tell Yunho that Wooyoung's cooking was the one I craved for. I gave them the letter Wooyoung had written for me as I filled them in on some details about what happened. They were Wooyoung's really close friends, so I didn't have to fill in too much details since they pretty much knew the majority of it.
"He never told you it was love at first sight," Yunho shook his head as he passed the letter for Jongho to read. "That bastard, I told him to stay away from you if he was just going to leave."
"We tried very hard to change his mind, believe me," Jongho sighed, taking a sip of the coffee I made him earlier. Both of his eyes shot up as he stared at me. "Though I suppose this is one of the reasons why he couldn't stay away."
That one struck a nerve. Wooyoung was the one who taught me how to make good coffee. 
Yunho cleared his throat. "San doesn't know Wooyoung has left yet. If he found out, he would beat the shit out of him. San liked you a lot, he convinced Wooyoung the most to stay."
"And Hongjoong?"
"Hongjoong is, well, he is who he is. He just knows everything. He probably told Yeosang because he didn't have the heart to tell you." 
Yunho's phone started ringing, it gave me a slight migraine because that thing was loud as hell. Yunho mutters a sheepish apology. "Hello?"
"Alright, which one of you soul-sucking bastards stole my keys?! What the hell is even happening?!"
That actually made me giggle. Now I know why these two were sent to check up on me - Yunho was very easy to get along with and Jongho was the rational one to balance things.
"Who is that?"
Yunho and Jongho took turns to fill San in on everything that went down, and I felt bad for him because that also meant that San lost a friend. His heartbroken questions were making tears in my eyes.
"Sannie," Jongho sighed. "This is why we took the keys, we didn't want you to find out this way."
"Where is he, then?" San's voice was tight.
"You don't know either?" Yunho asked in surprise.
"N-No, Y/N? Is she okay?"
That completely broke me. It was ironic that Wooyoung's friends, people I wasn't even that familiar with in the first place, were the ones more concerned about me. I bitterly let my tears out, with Jongho patting my back to comfort me.
I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried until I felt my voice grow weary with excessive use, not caring that these two strangers and a man on the phone heard me break down pitifully.
Forget about me, Wooyoung had also left the people who loved him as well - his friends. In that regard, he was extremely selfish because he knew that hurt he would give to everyone, but he chose to do what he did anyway.
And just like that, he was gone.
Tumblr media
I lost track of time, I don't even remember the last time I actually cared to check.
Depression is a silly thing, something that I used to think never ended, but it does actually; you're going to feel it when you hit rock bottom.
"Have a good day everyone," I waved from the doorway of Mingi's office.
The whole gang was here, except for my brother because he lived far away. Still, Yeosang has made it his life's mission to be there for me whenever I gave him a hint that I needed him the most. I felt bad, but I had nobody to turn to.
"Y/N, wait."
I was about to leave, to ignore that call, but I couldn't. Yes?"
Hongjoong stared at me for a full minute without saying anything, before sighing. "Take care of yourself."
I forced a smile on my face. I was happy that everyone was looking out for me even though I just can't outwardly express it. I actually appreciate that none of them were treating me like a wounded puppy.
Hongjoong might not look like he cared too much, but I notice his sharp eyes watching me when he thinks I wasn't looking. Wooyoung was the opposite.
Yunho was very sweet, he would often bake me pastries since I mentioned in passing that I loved them and they brought me joy. Wooyoung used to do that a lot.
Mingi was another nonchalant one. He would often offer me a vacation alone somewhere with all expenses paid. I denied. Being alone will make me think of Wooyoung more.
San was the one that accompanied me the most when I didn't want to move at all. He would bring me food at least four times a week to make sure I was eating. Wooyoung used to feed me, himself, if I wasn't in the mood.
Jongho, being the mature one, made me realize that there were more reasons to live this life. Perhaps it was my parents, maybe my pet dog, or maybe just to find out what happens tomorrow. Wooyoung had a very similar outlook in life. 
I was aimlessly walking around and I didn't even notice that I ended up on the bench I sat on, the same bench that had that beautiful wisteria tree. Only this time, there was no Wooyoung to take a candid photo of me.
"I guess I'm not the only one falling apart," I sighed, lightly touching the wilting petals of the once purple tree, now it was just a faded whitish lilac colour.
It was difficult to find happiness in the things that I used to like. I missed the way he hugged me, the sound of his voice, the tenderness in his actions. I missed the way he would whisper the corniest jokes against my ear and make me laugh, but most of all, I missed the way we used to be.
He was my first thought of the day, the light at the end of my tunnel. How must I separate these fantasies from reality? Would things be different if I didn't confess? Would he still be here?
The reality was that he has not had these fantasies, we did not build our dream together, so I have to let it go.
Even though he had left after the momentarily love we shared for one night, I can tell myself that at least I knew that he genuinely loved me at one point. My mind will be at peace because I wouldn't have to go manic wondering for the rest of my life if it was only me - I know now that we did truly mean something to each other. 
We're so distracted by how things end, we usually forget how beautiful the beginning was. 
It was a quote I heard somewhere. My love was a myth, but Wooyoung never believed in myths, and so that was both the start and end of our story. Some things are only real if you believe that they are. 
A lone tear slipped away as I remembered how beautiful the wisteria was when we had first met. His absence will be the best part of me, I decided, so hopefully for the last time after a while, I weep again. 
I will wait for him, no matter how long it took.
Tumblr media
3.5 YEARS LATER
I sat in front of the vanity table in my hotel room, staring at myself from the big mirror wearing my white satin robe, it made my complexion pop into a champagne rose hue. 
I made eye contact with the person looming behind me through the mirror. "Would you like me to tell them to adjust the makeup and your hair?" he asked me tenderly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I figured you'd love a natural look so I made it happen."
"No, it's perfect, you always know what's best for me," I smiled widely, putting my hand on top of his gently. It was the truth, it managed to bring out me feminine side, and therefore, my self-confidence as well.
I was the happiest I've ever been today, especially because I was finally with the love of my life. He frowned a bit when I pulled him a bit closer to fix his slightly rumpled collar and hair.
"I like the blonde, my love," I ran my hand on it in a trickling motion so I wouldn't mess it up.
He smirks, grabbing my hand to kiss it. "Yeah? That's good, I was feeling tired of the red, plus I don't think it would be appropriate for today."
I chuckled a bit. I have always loved his style, it was so masculine but also so chic and sophisticated at the same time. He was already wearing the suit and tie I had chosen for him today.
I will miss the red hair though, I still remember feeling uneasy when I saw his red hair for the first time, but I have come to love it over time. This blonde was making me feel some type of way.
I took a glance at my wedding dress that was placed at the far corner of the room. The lace upon lace design was very cozy and snug against my curves and it made me feel like the most beautiful bride in the entire world.
"So what's the schedule, darling? Your photography session here alone or with your bridesmaids for now?" he glanced at his wristwatch.
"Alone for now," I hummed. "I want Joongie, Sannie, and Yeo in here right now. You should go check with Yuyu and Mangi if you need alterations, and oh, check with Jongbear if he's all set with the wedding songs later?"
Over the years, I have gotten so close with the gang and they've all become my bestest of friends. The journey wasn't easy, but at least I've gained seven other lifetime friends.
He chuckled, clicking his tongue in amusement. "Alright, but calm down," he plants a quick kiss on my lips. "As much as I love when you're in your thinking mode, I want you to relax for today."
"I can't help it, Seonghwa, I've never done this before," I pouted.
Seonghwa squeezed my hand lovingly. "I know, me neither, but I'll be with you through everything, okay? And don't worry about those three knuckleheads, they're on their way."
"I love you, Hwa."
"I love you more, darling."
As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and indeed, the three people I was expecting made their merry way towards me and Seonghwa. 
"Well, well, well," Yeosang strutted towards me. "If it isn't my favourite sister."
"I'm your only sister," I rolled my eyes, making everybody laugh. 
"Oh, Y/N, oh my goodness," Yeosang hugged me tightly. "Goddamn it, I shouldn't have gone here, you're going to make me cry."
"Shut up, Yeo, you're going to make me cry too," I choked, holding my tears back so I don't ruin my makeup. "I could barely hold myself when I saw Mom and Dad bawl their eyes out earlier."
It was like we were back in our childhood again where we supported each other whenever we got an achievement. We don't see each other much but our closeness never got less.
"I'm proud of you, you deserve this happiness," Yeosang smiled. "I'll see you out there, my back is hurting from Seonghwa glaring at my back for taking your time."
"I was not!"
"Some brother-in-law you are, Park Seonghwa!" Yeosang retorted.
We all laughed again, there's nothing better than having friends to celebrate your day with you. Yeosang left shortly and now I was with San and Hongjoong to check up on some things.
"The guests are coming in gradually," San lowered his glasses while he tapped away on his tablet. San was the one who arranged the beautiful venue of the outdoor garden where me and Seonghwa will marry as well as the food and invitations. 
San moved away from photography a couple of years ago and started a business on coordinating events. "I reckon they'll all be here within two hours," he continued, but paused hesitantly. "There might be one seat vacant, I'm not sure he'll come..."
The air was a bit tense. I knew who he was talking about. "It's okay, Sannie, we have back up photographers in case he doesn't want to do it..."
Hongjoong cleared his throat loudly. "Congratulations," he grinned from the other side of the room.
"Thanks, Joongie, you're the best," I grinned back, thanking him for more than what I was referring to.
Hongjoong was the one who designed my wedding dress from scratch, and Mingi designed Seonghwa's. It was their first wedding haute couture and definitely not their last.
"Any adjustments you want me to make? I would ask you to try it on, but that's bad luck. " he joked. I shook my head no. "Alright. But I'm sure you'll look good. We're very happy for you, Y/N, we really are."
It felt great to hear it in general, especially on my wedding day, but it meant a lot coming from Hongjoong. All of them were brothers to me, but he was the eldest one.
"Seonghwa, if you think of hurting her," San cracked his knuckles. "You know what will happen."
"Yeah, yeah, sure San, you're scared shitless of killing bugs, let alone beat me up," Seonghwa rolled his eyes, making us all laugh our heads off because it was so true.
Mingi, Yunho, and Jongho also popped in after a while to say their congratulations. Yunho was in charge of hosting the reception, which came naturally for him since he has such an engaging personality.
"I'm so nervous, what if I stutter?" Yunho groaned. "Though I'm sure Jongho here is more nervous."
"A little," Jongho admitted. We were all surprised, he usually does very well on literally everything.
"Jjong, you're literally the best singer I've ever heard," I cheered him on.
"It's not that, this is different. This is your wedding we're talking about."
"That's true and all," Mingi chided in. "But I'm pretty sure Seonghwa is the most nervous out of everybody. Y/N, you gotta tell his ass to calm down, I couldn't even properly adjust his suit, for God's sake!"
We all turned our heads when the sound of another knock resounded through the room. We all looked at each other in confusion, Yeosang was the only one not in here and he would never knock before entering.
Yunho took the initiative to open the door, although apprehensively. He opened the door in an angle where we couldn't see who was outside, but he did, and when he did, he gasped loudly.
"What the fuck!" he shut the door loudly and leaned against it, pale white.
The room was silent, Yunho wasn't the type to curse in general. We all looked at him with very wide eyes and he stared back with his mouth agape.
"Yun, what the hell was that?" Mingi broke the silence, as calm as the ocean.
"I-I, uhm, I-I don't th-think," he stuttered.
"Oh, what the hell," Jongho rolled his eyes, walking towards Yunho and pushing him out rather roughly so he could open the door himself.
Jongho muttered a curse under his breath, before closing the door a bit gently this time, but he also had the same shocked expression on his face. This time I was freaking out, wedding jitters and all.
"Yah!" someone on the other side shouted, banging on the door.
"Open the damn door!" Seonghwa seethed, but quickly muttered a 'sorry' when I glared at him.
Both Yunho and Jongho opened the double doors at the same time, and the person entered. My mind had a small explosion, my heart beating twice the speed it should have, and the hairs all over my body stood up in the collective gasps we all had when we saw him.
He was someone I never thought I'd ever see again, someone I dearly missed even though we ended on a sour note, someone I couldn't wait for anymore even though I told myself I would.
"Wooyoung," I whispered, a bit teary eyed.
"Wooyoung," Seonghwa confirmed, but I could see how nervous he became.
"Wooyoung?" Mingi asked in surprise.
"Wooyoung!" Hongjoong laughed in disbelief. "Wooyoung," San growled, gritting his teeth.
"Oh hello there, Wooyoung," Yeosang suddenly entered the room. I can tell he was upset, especially because he patted Wooyoung's back in a "friendly" manner.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Wooyoung screamed his signature loud screech, but it was too late.
His squawks get louder as everyone, except me and Seonghwa, swarmed him aggressively, like a mob that threatened to end his existence. There were laughter mixed with complaints but overall, everybody seemed happy.
"You crazy son of a bitch, you have us worried, you never even called or texted!"
"Wow, you're uglier than before---ow!"
"Don't ever think of leaving again!"
"Come here, you monkey!"
I felt Seonghwa tense from behind me. I patted his arm, causing him to look at me. I frowned a bit, his eyes held anxiety and inferiority. I understood, the man I used to love was here.
"Alright, alright! Get off me, you airheaded buffoons!" Wooyoung shouted, trying to push everyone off, but ended up laughing hysterically with Mingi and Jongho.
Hongjoong only shook his head and rolled his eyes but I can tell he was happy. San grabbed his collar harshly and for a moment, we thought he was angry, but he ended up pulling Wooyoung into a bone crushing hug and Yunho had to pull him away to give him a hug of his own.
Yunho had always carried the burden of guilt for the past year, he kept saying that he could have stopped Wooyoung back then. Yeosang ruffled Wooyoung's hair roughly, something he did when he's overwhelmed on how to express his feelings.
"Have you guys seen, uhm--oh," Wooyoung began, but faltered when his eyes met mine., his smile dropping in slow motion. He didn't know I'd be here.
The air became tense all of a sudden. A sudden heartache filled my mind with dread, flashbacks of what happened years ago reminding me of the bond we made only for it to break. But even though it hurt, I was genuinely happy he was here, so I put a smile on my face.
He was shocked, his eyes going back to the same twinkle he had back then, but it quickly disappeared when Seonghwa cleared his throat, then I saw it disappear permanently.
"We, uh, we should leave you guys to talk," Seonghwa murmured.
"A-Are you sure, Hwa?" I hesitated, holding onto his arm to stop him from moving. 
I wasn't the only one surprised when Seonghwa nodded lightheartedly. "Mhhm," he hummed. "Plus," he glanced at Wooyoung. "This is a long overdue conversation."
With that, everyone left the room, but not before Seonghwa shook Wooyoung's hand. My heart was filled with pride. "Nice to see you again, old friend," Seonghwa patted Wooyoung's shoulder gently. This is why I loved him, he trusted me wholeheartedly.
Seonghwa knew everything, from how Wooyoung met me, to how grateful I was for everything he's done for me, all the way to him leaving me. Seonghwa and Wooyoung and pretty much everyone used to be good friends but he had to move away when they were younger because of his parents' work. He cried for me, he cried for everything I've been through, and cried for how far I've become.
Wooyoung stood awkwardly from where he was after Seonghwa had left, and I didn't even know what to do either. I wasn't even sure if he was the same person he was before he left, three years was a long time. We were strangers to each other at this point because I definitely have changed.
"S-Sit, Wooyoung, please," I blurted, not looking him in the eye as I pointed at the sofa across from where I was.
I stared at him as he awkwardly did as he was told. The years have been bittersweet to him - he had become unbelievably handsome, but his eyes had lost that youth and spark to it. 
He had more muscle to him, and his face had matured into this angular and chiseled appearance - his brows were more prominent, his cheekbones higher, and his jaws stronger. His hair was longer too, instead of the bright red I knew him for, he had this black and blonde layered on top of each other like an Oreo cookie.
"How are you doing, Y/N?" he softly asked. Even his voice got deeper, more booming, but it was still as calming as I remembered it to be.
"I'm good, I feel really happy," I genuinely replied. "I'm glad you're able to come despite your schedule."
"Of course," he sighed. "I'm surprised you still invited me."
"Why wouldn't I?" I whispered, all the hurt threatening to spill out from me. "B-But how have you been? Did you get what you wanted?"
I knew the answer to that question. Of course he did, Wooyoung was now a well-known photographer who was in-demand all over South Korea. He was basically a celebrity, but I still wanted to hear it come from his mouth.
Wooyoung smiled tightly. "Yes and no," he said cryptically.
"W-Why?"
Wooyoung stared at me for a minute, his eyes not giving away what he was feeling. My heart almost burst out of my ribcage. He tried so hard, but he was fiddling with his pants, a sign he was nervous.
We might be two different people now, but I still knew him like the back of my hand. 
"So," he cleared his throat, finally looking away. "Seonghwa, huh?"
I hummed, letting him get away with the fact that he was changing the topic. "Yeah, we just clicked," I smiled shyly. "A couple of months after you left, Joong introduced us together..."
He nodded, choosing not to reply. It got awkward again after that, the silence filling the room in an uncomfortable manner. He was only a couple of feet away from me, but he felt like miles back. My heart cracked a little, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
"I-I'm happy for you, Y/N, I really am," his voice cracked towards the end. "Congratulations on y-your...wedding."
I swallowed a huge lump on my throat when I saw Wooyoung look down, his hands on either side of his head, cradling it as I heard him sniffle. It felt like thunder to my ears, but I chose not to comment on it so as to not embarrass him.
"It was nice the first year, I felt like I was on top of the world with nothing tying or holding me back," he laughed bitterly. "But afterwards, I felt like shit. I had no family, no friends, no you. Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life."
I stayed silent, afraid that if I opened my mouth, I would cry too. "I'm afraid now, little dove, I'm so afraid of doing things now because that one, single mistake cost me my whole life..."
I bit my lip hard, my heart breaking a little bit more for him. Oh, how the tables have turned, I used to be the one that always got scared of trying something, and it took me a while to fully commit to Seonghwa.
"I am so, so sorry, Y/N..."
I let Wooyoung pour his heart out, letting him sob silently on the sofa. I gripped my robe tightly, wanting to go to him like the old times, but I couldn't, not because I didn't want to, but because Wooyoung needed his moment. He wasn't only crying for the both of us, but for the suffering, the loneliness of being alone, and everything he went through to get the success he longed to have.
"I'm proud of you, Wooyoung, you did well. You did what you had to do back then, I can't fault you for that," I told him. "Yes, I was mad at you, I'm not going to deny that, but I forgave you a long time ago."
I finally let out all the things I've always wanted to tell him. "One day you were just gone, you couldn't even explain why. We were best friends, soulmates, or so I thought."
"What killed me the most was I felt like our journey together had just begun, and you had left too soon," my breath hitched. "You came, then you left, and you took parts of me I didn't know existed, as well as yours because I never had the chance to explore you."
He stayed silent, listening to me like he once did years ago. "To this day I still ask myself what happened, Wooyoung, what would life have been if you had stayed? What would it be like if we did things differently? For the longest time, I blamed you for leaving, and then myself for letting you go so willingly."
Wooyoung shook his head. "It's not your fault," he gulped. "I blamed myself for your cries that I pretended not to hear, for the anger that consumed me, I blame myself for not holding your hand tighter, for the tears I did not wipe away, and I blame myself for the loss of you."
He stares at me with his tear-stained eyes, not bothering to cover all the emotions he tried to hide earlier. He grinned bitterly at me, I knew how much it meant for anyone to tell him how proud they were of him.
He puts his palm over his chest, eyes closed. "If only you can feel how hard this heart beats for you," he whispered. "It's all for you, but would you be mad if I told you it's not as strong as it once was?"
I wanted to hold his hand once more like we used to do when we were still together, not as lovers, but as good friends, but I was frozen on my chair.
"Why would I be?" I tilted my head curiously, tutting at him lightheartedly to lift the mood in the room. "You underestimate me."
Finally, he smiled genuinely. "I can't help it," he chuckled. "The intensity is less, I can't repair all the hurt I gave you."
He paused, hesitating if he should say what he wanted to say, but he opened his mouth anyway. "You were my dream after all," he whispered begrudgingly. "I was blind not to see it."
That did it. The dread and burden I've been feeling was finally lifted off of me and I finally feel lighter than a feather.
The wounds he gave me were still there and they will heal slowly, but I can't deny my own heart right at this moment.
"Woo?" I smiled tightly. He looked at me expectantly, and it made my insides mushy. "My heart that beated for you will never stop either, so don't beat yourself up. I can never get rid of it."
He stared at me like I held the stars from the sky and offered it to him. In hindsight, I might as well have done it. He scoffed lightly. The insinuation was there, but that's all there is - that I still held him in my heart but it stops here.
"Don't be afraid to try new things, weren't you the one who always told me that? You miss the shots you don't take. If you don't want to make the same mistakes as you did with me, grab them while they're still there," I shrugged.
It was like nothing happened, as if we weren't separated for so long because of our circumstances. We finally caught up, laughed, giggled, gossiped like we used to before things got bad between us. I missed him so much, the way he would laugh like a dying fox, the way his eyes crinkled up, all of it.
We talked, we cried, the whole nine yards. The missing piece I didn't know was missing until now finally completed me. How have I lived that long without him?
"You got your wish now," Wooyoung jokes. "You finally have Mars once you marry Seonghwa."
Ah yes, Seonghwa helped me all throughout my journey. If it wasn't for him, I would have been a goner.
I scoffed, the nostalgia hitting me like a ton of bricks. "I can't believe you still remember that," I laughed. "I do have Hwa now, yes, but the planetarium will always be my first Mars."
Wooyoung smirked playfully. "It had better be. I hated it."
"What?" I threw a pillow at him jokingly. "Why did you take me then?"
"I guess you're going to have to find out, hmm?" he snickered.
He was about to throw a pillow at me too, but when he saw my solemn expression, he stopped. 
This time the nostalgia hit us both. That was exactly what he said when I asked if I had to pay for the very first photo he took of me.
Instead of being sad, one look at each other and we burst out laughing, giggling, and guffawing like hyenas in the wild, not caring if anybody heard us and thought we were crazy.
"Y/N?" Wooyoung uttered endearingly. I hummed in response. "Can I hold your hand for the last time?"
I held my hands for him, and he grabbed it so gently I wanted to cry. They were warm, and he held on yet simultaneously set me free.
He brought my hands to his chest, looking like he wanted to kiss them, but he held back out of respect for Seonghwa. Instead of his lips, tears fell onto them.
"If there is another life," he whispered. "I hope I can meet you again and if not, I will find you until I cease to breathe."
His heartbeat was so steady, and I felt my body shake, and once more, my eyes filled with unshed tears and I cried for the both of us this time. He releases one of my hands and wipes my tears delicately.
"Please don't cry, not for me again," he croaked, trying his very best to stop his own tears. "I don't want you to ruin your makeup."
"It's okay, Seonghwa and his team did my makeup anyway," I sniffled. "I hope in the next life you're not going to hate that you need me."
"Never," he objected. "Even if we don't remember, my heart will know."
I swatted his arm playfully. I never meant to giggle a little at that, he had always been so poetic and so cheesy. I guess some things never change.
"Stay for the wedding and reception, please?" I fretted. "I want my best friend there. Mingi tailored a suit for you in case you came."
I was nervous, afraid that he would reject my plea because he might feel out of place. I sighed a breath of relief when I saw him beam.
"I'll be there," Wooyoung mused. "I owe you this at least, Y/N, and I am going to give you and Seonghwa the best photos you both will ever see."
I cheered internally, but my excitement tipped over the top and I couldn't help but outwardly show it. Wooyoung laughed and we finally pulled ourselves in a hug to seal the deal. It was enough to make up for all the years we spent apart because one touch entwined our souls.
I realized that the electric spark that once tickled my skin whenever Wooyoung touched me was still there, and it was as strong as I knew it to be, but they no longer burned.
More tears made their way on Wooyoung's shirt when I recognized that I had healed a long time ago. I had mourned my loss and woke up anew, and the passing time did wonders too.
"Did you feel that?" Wooyoung mumbled, and I knew he referred to that spark.
"Yes," I squeaked. "Yes, I did. But why did you lie?"
Wooyoung paused from rubbing soothing circles on my back. "What do you mean?"
"I can feel your heart. The intensity never lessened, Wooyoung, you lied."
He pulled away from me, his lips pursed as he held my face with his hands. "I have to," he admitted. "I can't ruin the happiness you have found for yourself."
There were no words that needed to be spoken. We had finally found the closure we both needed.
The rest of Ateez entered the room one by one and gave both of us a knowing look. Wooyoung and I both grinned at them and gave them a thumbs up, to which they cheered loudly.
"You good, darling?" Seonghwa kissed my forehead as the others whisked Wooyoung away with teasing tones so he could change his outfit.
"Thank you, Hwa, thank you so much," I gushed, melting at his solemn embrace.
Seonghwa had always been there for me, he was so loving and patient towards me, and most of all, Seonghwa had chosen me, and I chose him.
He had his work too, he was a makeup artist, and that required traveling a lot, but instead of leaving me like Wooyoung did, Seonghwa did everything in his power to take me with him so we could be together. He didn't give up on the love we shared.
Wooyoung and I still loved each other dearly, but we had chosen our paths a long, long time ago - he chose to leave, and I chose to move on with my life. Seonghwa had made me realize that if you really loved somebody, nothing will stop you. 
I kissed my future husband tenderly on the lips, to which he returned with urgency. The love I felt for him was different from the love I had for Wooyoung, but it burned just as brighter, if not stronger.
It was the true love I had longed to have.
Seonghwa and I finally tied the knot. Our wedding was a celebration of our love and those who came to celebrate it with us. It was simple, pure and all I ever wanted.
"I, Park Seonghwa, promise to love you, L/N Y/N, and cherish you until my last breath, and even then, you have to make sure I'm dead because I will always come back to you," he vowed, making a couple of people laugh. "You came in at the right time of my life, and I promise that for as long as I am here, I will make you the happiest woman on Earth. I love you so, so much, my darling."
I couldn't even get the words out, tearing up profusely especially with how Seonghwa looked at me with such love. At this point I wasn't the only one sniffling.
"I, L/N Y/N, promise to love you, Park Seonghwa, and cherish you until--- wait, if you go, then I'll be lonely, so please don't go," I giggled along with our friends and family. "You are the reason I'm alive, and I cannot believe I am marrying the love of my life. I will be yours as you want me to, Hwa."
The moment the priest announced that Seonghwa can kiss the bride, everybody whooped and cheered loudly and I couldn't help but laugh in between my now husband's kiss. I could've sworn I saw Hongjoong shed a tear or two but San was too busy teasing the elder by cooing at him mockingly.
Yeosang almost protested when Seonghwa's kiss lasted a little too long, but Wooyoung had quickly covered his mouth and pulled him away while he flailed his arms comically.
The wedding reception was a beautiful garden party that oversaw the lake. We were all surrounded by the fragrant petals that amplified the romantic sunset that gave the sky a pretty tinge of pink and purple.
Yunho was a wonderful host despite the initial nervousness he held and there was never a dull moment, especially when Mingi had caught the flower bouquet I had thrown over my shoulder. The gentle giant's reddened face was definitely the highlight of the night.
Jongho's voice filled the entire reception, to which me and Seonghwa encouraged everybody to dance to the rhythm whether Jongho sang a passionate song for us or an upbeat jazzy tune that made all of us dance the night away. Of course in between, me and my now husband would kiss and everyone would hoot.
Just as our wedding and love were elegant and sweet, so was our wedding cake. Everybody dwindled down to eat and drink to their heart's content. My feet were killing me anyway so I chose to sit down at my spot at the front with Seonghwa.
"You really went all out with this, huh?" I teased him.
He laughed, his deep sending delicious shivers up my spine. "Heck yeah," he snorted. "This is a once in a lifetime thing, baby."
As we watched everyone enjoy the night with their friends and family, I saw Wooyoung bowing to this old man, a friend of my father's, with a huge smile on his face after giving him his calling card.
I was happy for him, it looks like he finally followed his heart and scored another deal after being scared of doing another one. I watched him take his phone out and call somebody giddily, and when he dropped the call, I laughed as I saw him punch the air in excitement.
It was as if he knew someone was watching him. Wooyoung looked back and we made eye contact for the last time as old lovers. There were no words between us, but a million things in our eyes as we finally let go of all the hurt.
He smiled at me, nodding once, and I did the same, smiling back at him softly, before he turned around and left the venue.
And just like that, he was gone.
202 notes · View notes
lady-ashfade · 10 months ago
Text
Surprise
Tumblr media
-£ It’s my birthday in a few days and wanna spend it with fictional characters-
Tumblr media
“Percy, what the heck are you doing?”
The boy stood with a arm full of boxed that were wrapped, some had bows. He stared at you very still like if he could stay so still you’d not see him but you just raised a amused brow at him. Percy just laughed a second later with a embarrassed smile.
“Just like boxes, you know?” It wasn’t believable at all. His tone and look was the same as when you’d always catch him doing something. Usually doing some dangerous and stupid but this didn’t look like that.
“Hmm,” you walk in and observe his cabin and now notice all the decorations. Balloons and streamers.
His face drops and his places all the presents on the floor and rushes towards you, taking your shoulders into his arms and spinning you around. His body near the door and your back turned from the inside of his cabin so you can’t see anything else.
And it was utterly adorable he that he thought you didn’t connect the dots.
“I like balloons,” his cheeks flushed red and his eyes darting from yours, “Thought the streamers lightened up the place.”
Nodding you head to each word, “It worked, looks like a party of some sort.”
He shook his head fast, “No party here! Why would I throw a party? There absolutely no reason to, in fact. This is a anti-party zone.”
The way you stared at him with that wicked smirk and look in your eyes, he knew you didn’t believe a word he said. He was just making a fool of himself. Sucking your teeth you pat his shoulder and ruffle his hair to mess it up and made him shun away from your touch.
“I’ll acted surprised later.” Percy sighed in relief.
“Thanks, Annebeth would kill me if she found out.” Laughing you move closer to him and wrap your arms around his shoulders. Leaning forward to kiss his lips and he was quick to melt into you, taking your hips into his hands and pulling you closer. One more year he has been by your side, that you were alive and he ecstatic.
Pulling away from his lips you stare at him lovingly and look over his handsome features. The black hair you found your hands in often, the lips you loved to kiss, the eyes you wiped when tears fell from them. Percy Jackson was yours.
“She wouldn’t kill you on my birthday but,” his eyes watched your lips pull higher into a smile, “tomorrow is a new day.” Your eyes flickered behind him. His face straights and goes whiter, he takes a long blink and thinks of how he could get himself out of her wrath. Annebeth stood with her arms crossed and leaning on one foot that popped her hip out. A mother stances.
“Good going seaweed brain.” Her voice was almost bitter like and he turned to face her. “It wasn’t my fault,” he whined and pointed at you. “They’re the one coming in uninvited.”
“Because you left the door wide open, Percy.” Walking away from him you go to your best friend and pat her shoulder as well, “Don’t kill my boyfriend today.” She rolled her eyes as you walked away. No matter how far you walked you still heard her voice yelling at him.
Happy birthday to you.
356 notes · View notes
pxuvalentinx · 7 months ago
Note
thoughts on reader comforting aventurine by singing them a song while they cuddle?? like a lullaby aventurine’s big sis sang to him often. so he often sings it lowly when reader and him are together, and now reader sings it to him to comfort him. love your stuff btw, keep it up !! 🫶
I LOVE THIS IDEA!!!! sadly i’m not creative enough to come up with a lullaby myself so instead i just chose to work with the little saying (2.1 spoilers) aventurine and kakavasha did in the end of the 2.1 storyline, and kinda made him hum it a little. i hope that’s fine too😭😭
and tysm for your sweet words🫶
"May the Mother Goddess thrice close her eyes for you, keeping your blood eternally pulsing. May your journey be forever peaceful, and your schemes forever concealed." You’d hear your boyfriend mumble sometimes, often when he didn’t know that you were around. It was no secret that he was ashamed of his past, so he’d just switch topics whenever you mentioned it.
One night you were laying in bed with Aventurine as usual, talking about your day, as he kept yawning. Eventually he crawled closer to you, wrapping an arm around you and just listening to your voice. You watched his eyes close, even though he had a rather disstressed look on his face. Rough day.
Of course you weren’t stupid, you figured by now that it was probably something his mom or sister told him in the past, something that gave him comfort. He never told you much about them, but you know that they were very dear to him, till the last breath.
Your hand moved to the top of his head, gently patting it. A slight hum escaped your lips. "May the Mother Goddess thrice close her eyes for you, keeping your blood eternally pulsing…" His eyes practically shot open as he listened to your words. Jaw slightly dropped. The confusion was written on his face.
"May your journey be forever peaceful, and…Ah how does it continue again?" You asked, amused by the confused look on his face.
“Your schemes forever concealed…but..how?" The gambler was lost for words, you could find slight terror in his eyes. He was utterly confused.
“I heard you mumble it sometimes. I’m sorry if it wasn’t appropriate to-“
“No, no, quite the opposite. Hearing you say it was quite comforting..” His face looked now relieved, still a bit shocked. Even his signature smirk was gone now.
In his head the 'phrase' was just a silly thing he picked up from his family and said it whenever he felt stressed, he would’ve never told anybody about any of it. But now that you knew about it, it got an entirely new meaning to him. Now that he heard those words out of your mouth, he would no longer feel ashamed. Again, quite the opposite, it made him feel safe in some type of way.
From now on you would say it whenever he needed comfort, holding him close while the words soothed the knot in his throat, that would build up whenever he felt stressed, like warm honey. Other times you’d get to hear them from him, as he told you a bit more about them. The meaning, why it comforts him, of who it reminds him of, and so on. You felt like it really strengthened your bond, so you were quite grateful.
(i’m so sorry that it took me so long to get to this request, i’ve been so busy omfggg…but tysm for reading 🫶 as always any support is appreciated, requests are open!! i also wanna thank everyone for the recent support, i never thought people would enjoy my work that much😭)
375 notes · View notes
wutheringcaterpillar · 7 months ago
Note
Jim from TDS gets so fuzzy brained and dumb when he’s pounding into Y/N, because he wanted her for so long and he finally has her. he feels he deserves to have what he wants, and also making sure everyone knows she belongs to him.
Y/N could be either Jim’s son’s gf/ex-gf, Jim’s daughter’s best friend, or Jim’s best friend 🫣
Btw you’re doing such a great job with your fics!!!
Tumblr media
Warnings: Age gap (Jim is in his 40s, reader between 18-25), p in v, Jim’s a bad dad, unprotected sex, creampie, stalking social media, mentions of masturbating, taking inappropriate photos without consent, hickies
Thank you for the request I had a lot of fun with this! Hope you enjoy!❤️
Jim was reclined in his bed, his hand massaging his hardened member while he scrolled through social media photos of you. He was completely fucked ever since the day his son brought you home and may or may not have developed unhealthy coping mechanisms that his son had what he couldn’t.
Even in his dreams he could see your attractive silhouette, continuously replaying fake scenarios of you straddling him, on your knees batting those innocent lashes up at him begging for his cock.
You had him wrapped around your fucking finger without even knowing, you were completely and utterly hypnotizing.
“Fuck y/n..” He kept replaying a video on the beach, only thing covering you was a skimpy little bikini. Jim could just imagine what was underneath, reminiscing how even when he lay in the sun tanning chair, he couldn’t help but snag a few photos when you weren’t paying attention.
Position of you bent over picking up pebbles from the sand, when you came up for air from the water, specs of water droplets painting your chest, running down your cleavage.
He needed to have you, wanted to be entangled in the sheets with you, hearing you moan his name lustfully, screaming as he made you cum.
Your body was so young, hardly flawed, and had curves in all the right places. He hated to see you leave the house but loved to watch you walk away.
In the midst of coming to his high, the door slammed downstairs and he could hear yelling, what sounded to be you.
Curious, and for caution he pulled up his pants, huffing in irritation that he was interrupted from his intrusive, sexual imaginations.
“You are such an ass! Just because I enjoyed an evening with my friends doesn’t give you the right to go out with some random girls to some party and kiss them! You’re ridiculous, did you even think about me for a singular moment?!” This was the moment Jim had been waiting for, as awful as it may sound, he wanted you two to break up. He wanted the opportunity to arise for him to be there when you’re upset, knowing that there was a chance for you two to be together.
Jim wasn’t stupid, there were many times where you “accidentally” brushed past him inappropriately, there were plenty of stolen glances and obscene gestures whenever his son Caleb wasn’t around. You wanted him just as much, but due to your relationship with his son, you hadn’t gone any further. He’d constantly have to excuse himself to the restroom to deal with the repurcussions, seeking out a sweet release.
“You’re over reacting, besides I’ve been meaning to put an end to this dwindling flame. We were never going to work so figured, why not just end it the easy way.” Jim was in shock that Caleb would do such a thing to a girl, especially you. He had taught him better than that, granted he did cheat on his mother but that was besides the point.
Hearing footsteps run up the stairs followed by a door slam, Jim poked his head out hearing your sniffles from downstairs. What kind of man would he be to not check in and ensure you were okay?
“Y/N?” You were seated on the cushioned sofa, mascara flowing messly down your cheeks from weeping, but that voice…that masculine, caring, attractive voice had your glancing up from your emotional turmoil.
Jim was standing there in his pajama pants and black t-shirt, his reading glasses tucked in the hem of his shirt while his peppery hair was slightly disheveled.
“Oh I’m sorry, I was just going to head out. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“No, no. Stay please. My son’s an idiot and I can assure you I didn’t raise him to be that way.” He took a seat next to you, trying to act concerned when in reality his eyes kept glancing at your thighs, the way your skirt hardly covered anything. Keep it together Jim, jesus.
The close proximity and the smell of Jim’s cologne was raising the tension, and an idea popped into your head. If Caleb thought he had the right to hurt you, you would hurt him ten times worse.
Jim’s crystal blue, alluring eyes were locked on your in a transfixed state of mind, heart pumping with adrenaline when he settled his hand on your thigh in a way to “comfort” you.
He was radiant, smart, and overwhelmingly attractive for a man in his forties. When he touched you, goosebumps formed on your skin, breath hitching in your throat. Was this a bad idea, most likely, but temptation and profound desire had a hold of you both.
“I um- I always thought you were a nice girl Y/N, and beautiful, kind, sexy- fuck what the fuck am I saying.” He wanted to hit himself for his stammering of words, rolling off his tongue without even thinking, but you simply laughed, blushing from his clear embarassment. When he tried to pull away his hand, you moved it back further up just nearly underneath your skit.
“Jim, it doesn’t bother me. I’ve always thought you were quite sexy too, I mean fuck you’re a total dilf and I’ve always imagined what you looked like underneath those clothes. How fucked up is that? My own boyfriend- well ex’s dad.” You glanced down at the floor, eyes skimming the carpet trying to find a way to justify your feelings, that they weren’t morally wrong.
Brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, he slid his finger down the length of your warm neck, gaining your attention.
There was a momentous silence as you stared into one another eyes, an immense sense of crave and desire coursing through your veins.
Closing the distance, you smashed your lips against Jim’s, hands settled on his cheeks needing him desperately. At that moment the air in the room seemed to disappear, the oxygen slowly didsapating from Jim’s lungs. He was in disbelief that this was actually happening, he was kissing his son’s ex girlfriend who he’d been masturbating to all summer long.
Your lips were soft, smoothe, and you were surprisingly good at kissing for how young you were. Unable to resist, his tongue lapped inbetween your lips as he pulled you onto his lap, his hardened cock rutting against your dripping mound desperately needing you, forgetting Caleb was just upstairs.
He held you like a woman, his hands grasping at the chubby skin of your ass cheeks underneath your skirt, roaming and massaging the delicate skin roughly.
“Fuck Y/N… you don’t know how long I’ve waited for this moment…” Your lips roamed down to the crook of his neck, sucking and rotating your tongue, surely leaving a mark causing him to release a disgruntled groan.
Your hands fumbled with his belt, craving to be filled with his cock while your pussy throbbed in your panties, slick merely dripping from your cunt.
Shedding yourself of your shirt, Jim’s eyes widened from the sight of your well rounded, perfect tits, they were everything he had imagined them to be and more.
His hands grasped the jiggly skin, eyes nearly rolling to the back of his head in satisfaction. Hold it together Jim, what would she think if you busted just from the sight of her fucking tits, pathetic man.  
His brain seemed to turn to a puddle, any prior thoughts lost from your hypnotizing body. He had to have you right then and there.
“Well, are you going to fuck me or not, because I really…” You trailed off you sentence, running a singular finger down his lip, eyes focused on him with a lustful gaze as you grinded against his lap, needing more.
“Really, need you inside me, my pretty pussy aches for you Jim.” Within second he flipped you onto your back, shedding himself of his clothes and tearing down your skirt and panties down in a animalistic frenzy.
He had never seen such a perfect cunt in his life, so in tact, so beautiful, and dripping for him, god how his dick was felt like it was going to burst any minute. His size took you by surprise, Jim wasn’t small by any means, his cock a good eight maybe nine inches, this was going to be fun.
Your hand grazed the back of his neck, pulling him down just so your lips brushed against his ear.
“Hope your cock is better than your son’s, wouldn’t want to be dissapointed.” He took that as a challenge, one that he knew very well he was going to win.
“My son, doesn’t seem to know how to pleasure his woman and I’m going to make sure he and everyone else knows who fucked you right.” Your eyebrow quirked up in interest.
“Well go on then, fuck me like no other man could.” Jim had never been this nervous in his life to fuck a woman, but you- you he didn’t want to leave unsatisfied. 
He didn’t even need to glance down before pushing the head of his thick shaft deep inside of you, claiming you as his.
You gasped from the sudden intrusion, nail’s scraping against the muscles on Jim’s back. He smirked satisfyingly, leaning down to kiss you once more, shoving his tongue roughly into your mouth, desperately needing to explore every inch of you, craving more and more.
He pumped quickly into you, patience being non existent, the feel of your hot, indisputably tight walls clenching to his length. Your boobs bounced with each powerful thrust. His lips trailed down to the warmth of your neck, tenderly sucking lavender marks into your smoothe skin, needing people to know who you belonged to now.
“Oh Jim, more, more, please…” Oh the velvet, captivating sound of your strained moan had his horny brain whirling, eyes merely fluttering closed from the sweet descent of your exasperated tone.
Your pussy was throbbing from pleasure, being filled to the brim like no other man had fucked you before.
Your fingers intertwined in his hair, scrunching at his gray, partially wavy hair, pressing him against your body as he fucked you relentlessly. His free hand cusped at the cushiony skin of your boob, rolling the jelly like skin.
He needed to see you in another position, he need to see himself filling your cunt.
Standing up causing you to whine from the empty feeling, he picked you up with his strong arms effortlessly as if you weighed nothing before bending you over the sofa.
“Oh!” Jim slapped your ass and pulled your head back aggresively by the strands of your hair, plumetting his cock into your heated, tight walls simultaneously.
“Fuck! Fuck Jim! Ah!” He didn’t hold back, striking deep within your aching core over and over, his balls slapping against your skin with each powerful thrust. He had never seen an ass bounce back against him so poetically and perfectly, he was nearly salivating on the mouth looking down at you bent over on display for him and only him. Watching your pussy swallow his dick with each desperate rut, god you were stunning.
Hearing you man his name and take his cock so well was sending him over the edge, his dick pulsating in you before he even had the chance to think. 
As you pounded your ass back against him, your bottom lip was becoming increasingly swollen from how much your teeth had been biting at it from the immense pleasure.
“Jesus, you’re fucking amazing, fucking beautiful, taking my cock so fucking well. Tell me who you belong to.”
“You Jim. All yours, completely yours. I-I’m going to-Ah-“ He slapped your ass cheek fiercely once more, focusing on the way you moaned his name, the way your back arched as you came undone.
Your knuckes turning white from the grip they had on the cushioned surface, toes curling from your orgasm. The euphoric, alluring sensation taking over every part of your body.
That didn’t stop Jim from going to pound town. Slamming your hips down against him, rutting desperately and bottoming out deep within your dripping, aching cunt. He wad close.
“Gonna fucking cum- want me to fill you up love. Hm? Having my cum spilling out of you like a faucet for days.” You nodded desperately moaning for him to cum at the sound of his gruff voice
“Jim, Jim, please. I need your cum, need you to paint my fucking insides white, right now. Now.” At that moment you could feel his thick cock pulsate within your core, his cum shooting straight up into your cervix.
“Fuck, fuck y/n… I’m fucking cumming.” The sweat beaded at your forhead, his own dripping down from his hair onto your back.
He had never felt a high so unfathomably pleasurable, he finally felt like he had accomplished what he always wanted- needed to. You were finally his. 
Pulling out he stretched your cunt, pulling the sensitive, reddened skin apart with his large digits, seeing the art he had created with his milky white cum flowing freely out of your alluring pussy that was still twitching from your orgasm.
Caleb turned and twisted in his bed, the constant strange sounds keeping him up. Deciding to investigate, he grabbed the bat from his room before making his way downstairs only to be blindsided with his own dad intertwined with his now ex-girlfriend whom was covered with hickies on her neck
“What the fuck is this?! How did this-How could-“
“That’s how you treat a woman son. Maybe take notes because let me tell you, she’s a keeper this one.” You smirked on the couch, nuzzling your nose against his chest being fully happy with your decision to sleep with your ex’s father. He was already proving to be more of a man than Caleb ever was.
“Ready for bed love?” Jim held his hand out for you, wrapping his robe around your shoulders while Caleb stood there fuming at the actions of his own father and you, disbelief that you’d go this far, making him question if you ever really gave a shit about him or just dated him for his dad.
214 notes · View notes
surielstea · 8 months ago
Text
Adoration | Drabble
Based on this request.
Tumblr media
Pairing: Cassian x Fem!Reader
Summary: Cass comforts reader who is struggling with her reflection after giving birth.
Warnings: Body image issues | fluff
1k words
A/N: YOU GUYS ARE ALL SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL AND ANYONE WHO SAYS DIFFERENT CAN DISRESPECTFULLY FUCK OFF. (Said in a loving way) 💙💙
Tumblr media
Finding an outfit for dinner with the Inner Circle turned out to be the most challenging task I've been given today. I stood in front of the full length mirror with a woeful frown on my face.
The navy blue dress I wore was beautiful on the hanger but on me it just, wasn't right. I couldn't place exactly what it was about me but I couldn't find it in myself to feel pretty anymore. The material sat wrong on my skin and the color washed my complexion out. I felt mediocre, at best.
"Mother spare me." My mate voices from the doorway and I startled, flicking my eyes to him in the mirror and crossing my arms over my chest.
"I know, I should change." I mumble, thinking it stupid of me for even attempting to wear something so bold.
"What— why would you change?" He creases his dark brows, clearly confused. I turn to him, letting my arms fall to my sides.
"I look bad." I shrug and he blinks, gazing at me like I'm insane.
"You? Look bad?" He asked as if the idea was preposterous, his tone utterly aghast.
"Yeah." I sigh and walk over to the armoire, opening the doors of the wardrobe.
"Sweetheart, you're the most beautiful female I've ever seen." He walks further into the bedroom, our daughter cooing in her crib as he passed by her.
"You're only saying that because I'm your mate." I grumble, shuffling through the racks of clothing I no longer had any confidence to wear.
"No, before we were even mated I thought the same." He argues and I swivel, looking straight up at him.
"That was before I had Ellia." I gesture towards the crib beside me. His eyes go wide in shock and he glances towards the babbling babe then back to me, hazel now full of pure warmth.
"That only makes you more beautiful," His expression softens as he brings his large calloused hands up to my cheeks. "You look just like her, that's more than I could've asked for." He utters, his thumbs stroking the sides of my cheeks.
"It's not about my face." I murmur, crossing my arms over my torso again.
"What? Your body?" He arches a brow. I give a slight dip of my head. "My love, I'd never want to invalidate how you feel but, c'mon, this is foolish." His hands leave my cheeks and go to my shoulders, running down my arms and dipping to my hips. "Ive seen you decapitate men twice my size, you're the last Valkyrie standing and you're letting this get you down?" He tilts his head and I tear my gaze from his, turning back around toward the clothes.
"I know, It's dumb." I huff, finally finding an all black dress that wasn't tight in any unflattering places.
"It's not dumb, I'm sorry," he wraps his arms around my waist, my back flush against his chest. "You birthed a living child less than a month ago, do you know how much I admire you because of that?" He asks and I can't help but melt into his warmth. "The fact you can think so lowly of yourself is insanity, you're the most beautiful female I've ever seen." He reiterates, his strong arms tightening around me. "I love you, okay?" He hums into my hair and I nod.
"I love you too." My hands rest on his, running my thumb over a small scar on the back of his palm. He presses a hard kiss to my temple and he takes the black dress from my hold, hanging it back up on the rack. "Leave this on." His hands drift down to my hips. "I want to take it off of you later." He hums, pressing his lips to the side of my jaw and I roll eyes at the comment.
"You're ridiculous." I shake my head, but close the doors of the armoire anyways and let him have what he wants.
"Conceiving another child could take years, I want Ellia to have a sibling." He shrugs and I scoff turning to look up at him.
"You're a very dedicated male." I rise onto the tips of my toes to peck his lips. "And also forgetful that we can't do whatever we want anymore." I intone, bending down over the edge of the crib and picking the murmuring babe up. She wore a frilly dark red dress, matching her father's siphons.
"I can find a babysitter, maybe Az is free..." He wonders absentmindedly and I giggle. "We've both learned from experience that Az isn't a very good chaperone." I croon, rocking the child in my arms. "No, uncle Az isn't good at watching people is he my sweet?" I coo at Ellia in a high-pitched voice and she reaches towards me, her small fist clenching, trying to grab my nose. I smile and kiss her forehead.
I look back up to Cassian and he's staring at me like I hung every star in the night sky, pure adoration and devotion in those swirling hazel eyes, staring at the two most important people in his life. "Thank you Cassian." I speak lightly. His eyes flick down to the child in my arms then back up to me.
"Don't ever thank me." He shakes his head, taking the girl from my arms as I pass her to him. She was so much smaller in his grasp, she made him look like an absolute giant. "And you, my heart," He kisses his daughter on the cheek, a wide smile spreads over her lips. "You don't even thank me for anything either." He hums, matching her cheeky grin.
"C'mon, we're going to be late." I say, wrapping my arm around his bicep. "Fine with me," He purrs, leaning down and kissing up my jaw. "Cass, Rhys will kill me if we don't show up again." I playfully punch his abdomen and he backs away.
"Alright fine." He sighs, readjusting the child to be held in one arm so he can intertwine his freehand with mine. "But we're only staying for dinner. I was serious about that sibling thing."
Tumblr media
Taglist: @fxckmiup @olive-main @iluvyewman-blog @gaymistakeboi @glam-targaryen @going-through-shit @fauxdette @impossibelle @amara-moonlight @webecheesy-blog
Comment a “💙” to be added to the general taglist!
Comment a “🖤” to be added to the Azriel taglist!
Tumblr media
227 notes · View notes
emeritusemeritus · 8 months ago
Note
Idk what you think BUT I need the quirky shy reader with glasses who's being bullied for being obviously a virgin and Fred stepping into it because he hates to see her suffering and obviously filling the cliche of falling for her. Hope you like this idea 🥲
My pleasure dear Anon 🖤
Warnings: bullying, sexual harassment, sexual references, love triangle? So many tropes. Insecurities and negative thoughts of self. Fake dating, dating for status, kissing. Love confessions. Inspired by one of my favourite films.
Word count: 3k (oops I got carried away)
Tumblr media
Let it be me.
"School doesn't have to be the worst years of your life."
Your mother had repeated as you begrudgingly stepped aboard the Hogwarts Express about to start your fifth year, letting your insecurities get the better of you once again. You'd made friends during your years of magical education sure, but you were shy, almost to a fault and you knew you were far from the most attractive girl at school. You had glasses and were quiet, the usual suspects that made you unattractive in society's eyes. You longed for the moment you could transform like all the quiet, nerdy girls in muggle films that suddenly take off their glasses, let their hair down and were considered the hottest girl in town. Instead you would still just be you, without the ability to see.
The teasing had begun not long after your fourth year, the boys of the quidditch team trying to get a rise out of you, deciding that your quiet and unassuming presence was somehow offensive to them. You were bullied for simply existing and for being you.
"Oooh look, here's Mary," one had said, his acne covered face repulsing you without even having to open his mouth.
"Very original," you'd muttered under your breath, holding back a roll of your eyes at the stupid nickname. Mary was the ultimate virgin, the definition of the good girl, your new apparent namesake.
"Hey virgin girl, can I have your notes?"
"Oi Virgin! Let me break the seal!"
It was incessant, humiliating and utterly soul destroying. The other girls seemed to get away without any of this, Virgin's or not, but you were always singled out, always teased.
You dreamt of becoming the stereotypical bad girl, sleeping around, partying all the things that would alter everyone's perception of you but the thought of even attempting to talk to someone with the aim of having sex was terrifying. Plus, it just wasn't who you were.
Today was a bad day. It had started almost as soon as you walked into the common room, not even fully awake yet when you'd heard someone mutter your despised nickname to one of their friends. You'd been approached by two Slytherin students in the year above who had tried to tease you, to chat you up and feign interest only to laugh at you once you bit back, only you didn't bite back, you walked off and ignored them- not falling for their tricks.
So when Fred Weasley approached you just after study hall, you did the same. Walked off, looked down and didn't even give him chance to speak, preempting the usual conversation.
He tried again later that day and you rolled your eyes, starting to get frustrated with his determination to make a fool out of you.
You knew the Weasley twins and their pranks and you weren't about to have your hair dyed blue for the entertainment of your peers and so you avoided him completely.
"Y/n, wait," you hear once again and pause to take a deep breath followed by an exaggerated sigh.
"Fred, what do you want?" You say, not holding back in frustration.
"I want to help," he says, catching his breath as he jogged across the deserted corridor to catch up with you.
"Why?" You asked bluntly, still not falling for whatever he was trying to do.
"Because no one should feel like they're making you feel," he says honestly, his eyes looking almost completely sincere.
"And that's your concern because?"
He shrugs, "it's not, but I think I can help."
"Oh yeah? How's that?"
"Date me."
You instinctively roll your eyes, huffing and trying to move away from him but he steps around you, blocking the way. "I mean like fake dating, I'll pretend to be your boyfriend and hopefully they'll leave you alone. I'll be honest with you, there's a girl I've got my eye on and."
"Angelina," you say, making him pause and look at you with a shocked expression. "I might wear glasses but I'm not blind."
"If she thinks I'm dating someone then she might get jealous? Never mind it's a terrible plan. Just forget I said anything."
"Fred wait," you say, calling out to him after he changed his mind halfway through, beginning to walk off. "You think it would work? You ask, showing a little bit of vulnerability.
"Can't hurt to try."
Fred had stuck to his word and after a little bit of sorting out, discussing boundaries and so on, you'd gone public with your 'relationship' nearly a month ago. Immediately the teasing had dwindled down to only the harshest of bullies but even then you were never mocked in Fred's presence. Angelina had been affected by the news, as Fred had predicted and he found that he did get more attention from her, making your agreement mutually for both of you.
George was in on it of course, and you'd genuinely enjoyed your 'fake dates' where you would accompany them to Hogsmeade, help them with their products and listen to their dreams of opening a joke shop, like zonkos but better.
They were nice people, as were their friends and siblings, at least the ones you'd met and for once it was nice to feel included and genuinely cared for, even if it was under false pretences.
It was all going well until Cormac McLaggen put a spanner in the works. You'd been walking back from potions last off on a Friday afternoon, eager to meet with Fred for dinner when Cormac had cornered you in the empty corridor, spouting a load of shit about being attracted to geeky girls, that glasses were a turn on for him. He'd tried to kiss you, manoeuvring you until you were backed up against the wall to try and swoop in but you'd managed to push him off just in time and run away. The whole thing had left you shaken and rightfully so, skipping dinner to cry into your pillow.
Fred found you in your dorm, worried because you hadn't shown up to meet him as you'd promised. Upon seeing your tear stained face and little sobbing body he'd immediately rushed over and pulled you into his arms trying to soothe you.
"What happened?" He asked gently, trying to get you to look at him but you couldn't.
"Cormac," you managed to get out, sniffling pathetically, "he tried to kiss me."
"That bastard," Fred said, quickly turning angry once he figured out what you were saying. "Who the fuck does he think he is? I've half a mind to."
"No Freddie please," you said, grabbing hold of his arm to stop him from acting out. Truthfully you were surprised by his reaction, even if you had grown closer over the past month but you didn't linger on it, instead trying to calm him down. "It's not worth it, I just," you paused, embarrassed by what you were going to say.
"What is it?" Fred says gently, listening to your pleading as he pushed down his anger.
"I couldn't let him be my first kiss."
The silence that lingered felt painfully awkward as you sat cringing in embarrassment, having to admit that out loud.
"Let it me be," he says suddenly, speaking a little too quickly as the words were jumbled and rushed. When you looked up at him in surprise, he seemed to snap out of whatever he was thinking. "Let it be me," he says again, much more slowly and quietly now. You don't reply other than to frown up at him in confusion, which he notices and smiles gently at you. "Just a thought, but if you want it to be with someone you can trust, someone who cares about you then let it be me."
The second your lips meet his, it's like he's accidentally set off a full case of whizzbangs around the room, sparks flying in your mind as you feel his soft, puffy lips on your own. It's a little awkward at first and you're self conscious about wether he can feel your glasses, if they'll get in the way but if it seems to bother him, he doesn't let it show. You expect the kiss to only last for a few seconds but it lingers, deepening as you let him guide you. When you finally pull apart, you look up at him with a blank expression, somewhat shaken by how good that felt. You expected him to crack a joke or give you notes or something like that to break whatever spell had been unknowingly cast between the both of you but he doesn't, he simply looks at you with a man expression you can't read, a softness.
The door opening makes you both jump back and the light, pleasant feeling you had felt only moments ago disappeared instantly when Angelina walked through the door. You felt guilty like a child that had been caught stealing a cookie from the kitchen counter. Fred looked stricken, knowing that Angelina had most definitely known what you were doing, if she hadn't seen.
"Don't stop on my account," she'd said in a rather harsh tone, going over to her bed to grab her quidditch stuff before turning to look at Fred, ignoring you completely.
"Practice is at 4, don't be late," she says bluntly, pausing to give you a dirty look before she turns back to Fred as she walks out. "Unless you're too busy."
"Fred," you said quietly as you watch him walk out without so much as another look in your direction. He was mad, and you knew he had every reason to be.
The rest of that week went by in a miserable blur. Though you hadn't officially 'broken up', rumours were flying around the school and the old teasing had begun to reappear, only to change to anything from 'slut', 'Weasley fucker' and 'Fred's ex whore'. You were even more miserable than before; this was so much worse than being called a virgin, because despite what everyone thought, you still were. But now you were completely without the one person who made you feel wanted, safe and the person that you'd stupidly fell for.
Ginny had been surprisingly supportive throughout everything, remaining your friend when you felt lost and cast aside. She'd convinced you to stop moping and join Hermione to watch their Quidditch practice after classes had finished, with promises that they wouldn't mention Fred's name once.
It was all well and good until you spotted Angelina and Fred laughing together, stood next to each-other as she grabbed his arm, both of them so invested in one another that they forgot Quidditch practice was happening around them.
It hurt to see them so happy, to see Fred with someone else even though your relationship had been fake all along. This was what he wanted all along, she was what he wanted, not you. No one would ever want you.
"I'm sorry," you said to Hermione as you shuffled out of the pitch side stands, trying to get away, not wanting to watch this anymore when it hurt so bad.
You'd come so close to successfully slipping out without anybody noticing until a singular loud voice called out, disrupting the peace.
"Where you off to Weasley fucker? Your boyfriend's that way!"
You froze, hearing the laughter of his cronies behind him and reared up, no longer feeling meek and timid but instead wanting to give him a piece of your mind, completely past the point of being able to take this shit. But you couldn't, because as you turned, Fred caught your eye. He looked at you with such a heartbroken expression that it instantly made your resolve crumble, any braveness you held seconds before disappeared under his gaze. So you did the only thing you could do- run away.
You successfully avoided pretty much everyone for the rest of the week, spending most of your time in the library. It was easier to just disappear than having to face the torment from your peers or watch Fred and Angelina together; truthfully you didn’t know what was worse.
The plan with Fred had been an almighty fail, almost comically so. Instead bring of quiet, bookish and virginal you were now quiet, bookish, slutty and scorned, a laughing stock with the addition of having real feelings for someone that would never reciprocate them.
It was the final quidditch game of the season that night, the finale to decide who would win the house cup before summer began. You had absolutely no intention of attending and instead had planned to get an early dinner, pack up your belongings and try to convince Madame Pince to allow you to check out a book over the summer.
Both Ginny and Hermione had tried to get you to come but you’d turned them down, really not wanting to watch Fred parade around the pitch on his broomstick. George was the one to convince you in the end, catching you between classes and asking for you to come and watch them, sad puppy eyes and all.
That’s exactly how you found yourself in the loud, crowded stands, surrounded by the entire school and faculty to watch the House cup deciding game. Gryffindor versus Slytherin, the most tense final imaginable. You stood with Hermione and Neville, much quieter in your celebration than the people around you as you watched the Gryffindor team approach the pitch, dressed in their signature burgundy and gold uniforms and carrying their brooms in procession. The Slytherins appeared mere moments after and with a brief speech given by Dumbledore, the game commenced.
Each goal brought an uproar of cheers from the people around you, as did each save from the keepers. You couldn’t take your eyes of Fred, as much as you wanted to. His precision with the bat, the way in which he made it looked so effortless and fluid was pretty spectacular.
The sky was clouding over, heavy and dark with all the signs of rain but you prayed in held outside long enough for the game to be over, the seekers doubling down their efforts so that they could see the snitch amongst the thick clouds.
A ruckus on the pitch dragged your attention back to the game when you saw an altercation breaking out against the teams, the whistle blowing repeatedly as the referee tried to break them up as the game pauses. The entire crowd was booing and there was a portion of the stands on the first Gryffindor tower that seemed to be stood up, everyone rushing out of the way.
“That was a foul that!” Seamus says from behind you.
“Goyle! He just Bumphed the crowd! Surely he needs sending off for that!” You heard one of the Patil sisters say, alluding to the Slytherin beater.
Suddenly, something else draws your attention away as you watch Fred dismount his broomstick, rushing over to Goyle who looks to be mouthing off at him. George is quick on Fred’s heels, trying to hold him back as his temper flairs, lunging at Goyle. Snape appears from the sidelines, gestures for Crabbe to take over and drags Goyle away from the pitch as McGonagall steps into the pitch to deal with Fred, though you find moment later that he’s allowed to carry on playing.
The whistle blows for the match to resume as the entirety of Gryffindor begins chanting Fred’s name in victory for his dealing with Goyle, gearing up for his turn to take the penalty shot.
It’s too much, to hard to hear everyone chanting for Fred, his name echoing around you until it makes you feel dizzy. You see Hermione cast a sympathetic glance in your direction and when you turn to her, she gives you a little nod, signalling that it’s alright for you to leave. You look around at the supporters, in their finest school colours, faced painted, signs made and chanting Fred Weasley’s name and you feel completely out of place, wishing you were anywhere else.
Once again you try to slip out undetected, wanting some air and a break from everything, just as the first rain drops begin to fall. They chant Fred’s name over and over and you just wish he’d hurry up and take the penalty already, to just get it over with.
You get the side steps of the stand, battling your way to squeeze past the cheering crowds until you’re nearly free. Until you feel the cold whoosh of something nearby, making you pause.
Fred.
He dismounts his broomstick, handing it to someone in the crowd that he’s not even paying attention to, climbing up the stairs quickly to get to you dressed in his complete quidditch outfit, leather pads and all. He tosses off his goggles and drops his bat, discarding them on the way to get to you but he doesn’t seem to care.
He appears in front of you and you’re frozen, not knowing what to do. You can feel the eyes of the entire pitch full of people on you but you don’t care in the moment, too confused by his actions.
“Fred? What are you doing?” You say, eyes briefly pulling away from his smiling face to look at the pitch, seeing the entire quidditch team suspended in the ear carefully watching.
“Something I should have done a long time ago,” he says, looking all over your face with a smile before his gaze focuses on your lips.
His lips feel incredible against yours as he pulls you in for a breathtaking kiss, pulling you into his body to hold you close as the crowd roars around you. You feel the thick droplets of rain beginning to descend around you but you don’t pay it any notice, your entire attention focused in on Fred.
The rain begins to pour, the sky opening up and drenching you in what seems to be seconds.
Fred pulls away first and smiles at you, before leaning in once again, capturing your lips and wordlessly giving you everything everything you ever wanted, making you realise that your mother had been right all along.
School doesn't have to be the worst years of your life.
Tumblr media
*Alexa play Hear Me Now by Jimmy Eat World*
120 notes · View notes
hollandorks · 7 months ago
Text
haven
battinson! bruce wayne x f! reader
interlude three
Tumblr media
Summary: After the sudden deaths of her mother and grandmother, y/n is forced to return home to Gotham…and to the man who broke her heart three years ago. Back in Bruce Wayne’s inescapable orbit, she vows to get to the bottom of her former best friend’s new cold personality. But Bruce’s secrets aren’t what she’s expecting.
a/n: I'm alive!!! I don't want to talk about how long it's been since the last chapter because it's a little bit embarrassing. Anyways, I'm back! Hopefully! So here's a brief little Bruce POV to hold you over until the next real chapter, which should hopefully only be a week or two maybe? (Also, I apologize in advance....)
Series Masterlist
word count: 1.2k
Despite everyone who was trying hard to keep her alive, y/n felt utterly alone. 
Bruce's POV
“Bruce, my dear boy, I don’t tell you often enough, but you are…so stubbornly stupid it makes me feel twice my age.” 
Bruce startled and whirled around to face Alfred. The older man was leaning casually along the work station where Bruce’s video equipment was, his cane next to him, legs crossed at the ankles. 
Bruce opened his mouth and then closed it again. 
It was noon now, and he still hadn’t been to bed. He’d been out late staking out Maverick’s again, hoping to catch a lead on Frank Gallo or anyone that could lead him to the man, when Alfred’s call had come. Security breach. Elevator. The panic had almost killed him. Alfred’s next call came in when Bruce was almost home, telling him that everyone was safe. So he had changed direction and left to clean himself up to make an appearance as Bruce instead. 
And still the fear lingered. Someone had been in his home, feet away from y/n, and he had yet to find any proof of how they had done it. 
He wouldn’t–couldn’t–sleep until he was certain she was safe. 
“What did I do this time?” Bruce finally asked. He turned back to the security footage he was pouring over. It terrified him that they could have been so close to y/n. That he could have been too late. That he could have–
He shut the thought down as quickly as it came. No use dwelling on it now. 
“What haven’t you done? You imploded the most important relationship you have–repeatedly, if we’re being honest. You keep secrets from her but toe the line so recklessly it’s going to blow up in your face. You let your emotions get the best of you. And that’s just lately. Shall I go on?” Alfred recrossed his ankles in the other direction. 
Bruce grit his teeth but said nothing. He restarted the security footage from the beginning and paused it frame by frame. A loud clack echoed around the abandoned station each time he smashed the button to go to the next frame. 
“Let’s change tactics then. How long are you going to let her live in fear before you tell her that the Batman is watching over her from inside her home?” 
Bruce’s jaw ached with the force of his clenched teeth. Still, he said nothing. First y/n had yelled at him, now Alfred. He knew his behavior was…abysmal to say the least. But he had more important things to focus on than everyone’s emotions, his own included. 
He had to find Frank Gallo, and take down the rest of the family, once and for all. When that was done, when y/n was safe, he would think about all the ways he had ruined his relationship with her. 
“Are you listening to me, Bruce?” 
“I am trying,” Bruce said with a smack of his fist against the table, “to figure out who the fuck broke into my home and threatened y/n!” His voice echoed loudly around him, setting the bats to fluttering and chittering above them. He restarted the footage once again. 
Alfred made a noise in his throat. “She hasn’t slept at all.” 
Something oily slid down Bruce’s spine. “Neither have I.” It was a deflection and they both knew it. It killed Bruce to know y/n was so scared. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it–other than find those responsible and make them pay. She wouldn’t want his comfort, wouldn’t want him to hover, so he was doing the next best thing and trying to end it. 
Alfred sighed. “All I’m saying is–” 
“I know what you’re saying.” 
“Then why do I have to keep saying it?” 
Bruce went back to ignoring the older man. Let Alfred think what he wanted. Bruce had work to do. Nothing would get better until Frank Gallo and the rest of his family and cronies were gone for good. 
What gives you the right to act like this? she’d asked, all of her anger turned towards Bruce like a roaring inferno. What gave him the right? He had admitted it to her right before that–I give too much of a shit. 
She didn’t know he was still in love with her. That he always had been. 
He’d hurt her so badly she couldn’t see what was right in front of her face–who he was, how he felt, what it was doing to him. If she would just open her eyes, she would know. 
Instead, she had yelled at him. 
He deserved it. He knew he deserved it. But walking in and seeing her hold Officer Martinez’s hand…it made him crazy. He had acted like the worst type of bastard without even thinking. It was pure instinct, the urge to protect her even from a guy like Martinez rising so strongly within him that it was almost as if he had blacked out. Like someone else had taken over his body. 
She rarely ever got mad at him. It had only happened a few times throughout their many years together. It was a sight to behold, her rage, and he had been equal measures impressed and angry both. 
“I don’t have time for this,” Bruce said after long stretch of silence. His voice was raw with exhaustion and emotion. “Either help me figure this out or go back upstairs.” 
He felt rather than saw Alfred bristle. He waited to get berated yet again, but Alfred merely pulled up the footage on another screen and got to work. 
They spent a few minutes in silence, Bruce’s eyes burning from lack of sleep, his thoughts churning. She hasn’t slept. He ached to go upstairs, to tell y/n that she was safe with him, that he would never let anything happen to her. 
But it already had, and all of it had been his fault. 
He knew without a doubt, just as he had known three years ago, that she was safest far away from him. And look what had happened already–the more she’d become entangled with him, with the Batman, the worse things got. She had spent three years in Bludhaven, far away from him, perfectly safe. And the minute she had come home to Gotham, come home to him…it had all gone to shit. Really it had gone to shit before that–when her grandmother had left the tower for the last time. 
Bruce liked to think that was his fault, too, not that he’d ever it admit it out loud. 
“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty,” Alfred said into the silence. His voice was gentle, almost placating. 
“Mm.” It wasn’t working, then, Bruce thought. He already felt guilty enough. 
“I hate seeing you like this. Both of you.” Alfred sighed again. “I just think that talking about it–all of it–would help you both. It might ease the strain of…everything else going on.”
Bruce couldn’t see how it could help, only how it would make things worse. But he didn’t say that to Alfred, merely nodded and kept working. 
Two nights later, all Bruce could think about was that Alfred had been right. 
He should have told y/n the truth while he had the chance.
Next Chapter
taglist:
@ktficworld @grunge-n-roses5 @anon-cat-posts @projectdreamwalker @warsaur @lachillona02 @crazyunsexycool @doetic @alexiris @that-girl-named-alex @harry-bowie-mercury @vaniasagitaa @widows-writings @missing-loki @exactlyelegantwizard @miriamnox @mavenmoon @eclipsedplanet @spencerrxids @giulia2372 @katara-is-a-goddess-changemymind @janezat @incorrectmarvelquotesss @spiritdetectivel @i-have-no-life-charlie @ilovemybabes @curseyouperrytheplatypus @lightsinmycity @yondiii @spideybv28 @fictionalmansl4t
115 notes · View notes
pasta-in-the-pudding · 1 year ago
Text
My stupid ass deleted an ask so if you are the anon who requated this im sorry 😭
Request: Tobt x reader that genuinely have a mother/son platonic relationship
TW: trauma, murder, grief, loss of family members, alcoholism/addiction
Thank you so much for requesting!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toby with a Motherly Figure!Reader
Tumblr media
Toby's mom was present to an extent
Before his sister died, she was a decent mom. She gave them food, kept a roof over their head, and occasionally would do fun family things with the two children, so toby couldn't really complain
But after his sister died, his mom picked up drinking and eventually got very addicted to the alcohol
She stopped caring for toby, and instead became consumed by her grief
Toby was only 12 when his sister died, so he pretty much went half of his childhood without a real mother figure
And sometimes, he regrets killing her
He wishes he could do it all over again because maybe if he'd been more careful, he'd still have at least one of his family members
He misses his mother dearly, her warm hugs, her homemade chocolate pancakes
But he knows theres no point in dwelling on it, he doesn't want his greif to consume him like it did to his mother, he wants to live his life to the fullest
And so for a long while he shoved those emotions deep deep down and refused to allow himself to feel them
But after you made your appearance at the manor, he almost immediately felt drawn to you
You radiated this familiar warmth that he'd missed so much
In fact, the first time you guys actually had a conversation, he cried
He can't quite explain why he got so emotional during that moment, but from that point on he knew he wanted to always be around you
After a while of him shyly asking if you need his help for anything, and always offering to do activities with you, your relationship began to grow
For a while, you thought he had a crush on you or something
When you brought it up to him he made the most utterly confused, disgusted and bamboozled face ever
Of course there is also a bit of embarrassment within this because this is where he explains how he does see you
When he tells you he sees you as more of a mother figure, you feel a huge wave of relief wash over you
You assure him that theres nothing to be ashamed about, and that you would love to continue this sort of relationship with him
It takes him a bit to get back to himself, but once he does he feels ten times better about the whole thing
Eventually it will get to the point that he will jokingly call you "ma" and you will occasionally scold him for doing stupid things
You are the first person he comes to with literally anything
He looks up to you so much its crazy
He love love loves it when you take the time to teach him new things
When you teach him new things, or just spend time with him in general, he feels like he's getting his childhood back and it makes him estatic that he gets to finally experience those core memories that everyone else does
244 notes · View notes
skiller0dani · 2 years ago
Text
The Noble House of Gaunt | Part 3
M A S T E R L I S T Other Masterlist Harry Potter Masterlist
smut | slytherin!reader requests info w.c | 8.2k summary | You and Sebastian hatch a dangerous and possibly stupid plan without telling Ominis, and it doesn't exactly go the way you want it to.
Here we go! Final part to this mini series and I loved every second of it! PLEASE request things for Ominis and Sebastian! (Sebastian is my favorite character in Hogwarts Legacy but Ominis is a very close second). Hope you enjoy :)
This is embarrassing so DON'T LAUGH but I may or may not have listened to I Need A Hero (The Shrek 2 version) while I wrote this. Maybe! You can't confirm anything and I'll deny it anyway...😬
Part 1 | Part 2 | Blurb
Tumblr media
Your dream started out innocently enough. You were sitting with Ominis, tucked away in the back corner of the Library. You two had been studying for your O.W.L's, and a comfortable silence fell over you. You were writing notes, and Ominis was doing the same using his self-writing quill Professor Weasley special ordered for him. You kept eyeing him, his head had fallen into his hand. He looked so beautiful and you wished you could explain that to him properly. You leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek, causing a boyish smile to spread across his face. You pressed another kiss on his jaw, and by this point his quill had stopped writing when he lost focus. You kissed along his jaw to the side of his throat. Ominis tilted his head subtly, slowly leaning into your touch.
You slid closer to him, kissing down his neck towards his collarbones. You could see the way his cheeks flushed, his lips parting as you gently bit a hickey onto his collarbone.
"We need to study..." He protested weakly, but you know he didn't really want you to stop. You reached up to yank his tie loose, working open the top button of his shirt to gain better access to his neck. His hands came up your sides, gently feeling around until his wandering hands found the edge of your skirt. His fingers slid under the hem of your skirt, and slowly drifted up your thighs. Your lips found his, lips moving slowly as his fingers traced your panty line. You could feel yourself getting wetter as you squirmed against his teasing touches.
"Ominis." You gasped softly, feeling him smile against you. He could be a sadist when he wanted to be. He loves making you beg. His hand dipped beneath the band of your underwear, one of his fingers dragging through your soaked folds.
"Need more my love?" He whispered against your lips and you nodded quickly. He gave you a sardonic grin, and pressed his fingers against you more firmly.
Then you woke up. Your cheeks heated and your chest heaving.
You'd been having dreams like this more frequently. Thoughts of him utterly ruining you plagued you night after night. Thoughts of your back arching and his hand pressing against your mouth to quiet your moans. You had no idea how to bring this up with Ominis, or if you even should. He was still beyond stressed out because of his lingering Mother, who continued to visit him at least once a week. Apparently none of his family had ever visited him a single time the previous 4 years he's been at Hogwarts, the only reason she's visiting now is because of you.
Ominis worried that she was going to find out you two had gotten back together. He worried she would punish you, because no doubt she already had a punishment in mind. You felt guilty that while Ominis was worried about your safety, you were too distracted wondering what he looked like beneath his robes. How his tongue would feel pressed against your clit. You wished you could focus on what really mattered, but your boyfriend was so attractive he was making it hard to focus on much else.
Ominis was pacing back in forth in front of you, the fire lighting up the side of his face. His hands were hovering anxiously near his head, one pulling at his hair every once in a while.
"She suspects something. I know she does." Ominis fretted, images of you being hit with the Cruciatus curse flashing in his head.
"My love, she doesn't suspect anything. Whatever happens we can deal with her." You reassure him, but your words do nothing to soothe his anxiety. He's stuck. He can't be with you because of his Mother, but he can't be without you because he loves you.
"This is so frustrating!" He declares, agitation in his tone. He pinches the bridge of his nose, why does his Mother have to be this way? His Father and siblings have practically disowned Ominis, which is the way he prefers it. He'd rather they completely ignore his existence than insert themselves into his life. His Mother can't stand anything she cannot manipulate or control which is probably why she will not go away. She wants to make sure Ominis obeys.
You stand from the couch, sadness washing over you. How could they do this to him? How could his Mother look at him and not love every single part of him? How could she not see how wonderful and perfect her son is? How smart, kind, and empathetic he is? It makes rage burn in your heart when you think of him as a cute, sweet, innocent little boy being tortured until he tortures others. You loop your arms around his shoulders, pressing your forehead against his.
"I love you so much Ominis, always." You whisper, you want to reassure him that no matter what you will always love him. That you'll always be here, right by his side, supporting him. You need him to know that he isn't alone anymore.
"I love you, and that's why you're in so much danger." He whispers back sadly, guilt lacing his words. You kiss him softly, ignoring the ravenous beast inside you that tries to break free at the feel of his hands pressed against your hips. He sighs against your lips, some of the tension flowing out of him then.
"We're safe here Ominis. She might be able to get into the castle, but she can't enter the common room. The door won't appear. I'm safe here." You promise, he hardly ever let you leave the common room without him anymore. He doesn't want to risk you running into her without him, which is why you haven't been telling him about the little plan you've been concocting with Sebastian. Now to Sebastian's defense, he wasn't crazy about your 'idea'. He thinks its crazy, completely unhinged. But what other option do you have? You refuse to live in fear of this woman forever, you will not let her have this much power over Ominis any longer.
You're going to meet her, without Ominis knowing. You know he'd kill Sebastian for even encouraging this idea, but you have no other options. Besides, it's not like you're going to go alone. You're going to drag poor Sebastian along with you, he always has been your partner in crime much to Ominis's dismay. Ominis leans into your touch, and you feel your entire body heat up when he accidentally presses his hips against yours. He didn't realize you were standing so close. Feeling him pressed against your most sensitive part nearly made you moan, it's embarrassing really. You feel your panties get damp and he's hardly even done anything. You've been so pent up this last week, and poor innocent Ominis has no idea.
If he could see he would have been able to piece it together much sooner, but you prefer him the way he is. Being blind is a part of who he is, and you love who he is. You know he loves you for more than what you look like, he loves you because of who you are. There's nothing more pure than that, and there's nothing else you need.
"You can never leave the common room without me, understand? Never. It's not safe and I need you to be safe. Promise me you'll never leave without me." Ominis pleads, seriousness in his tone.
"I promise my love." You lie, and truthfully you feel bad for lying to him. But he won't face his Mother, she terrifies him. Rightfully so. He has every reason to be afraid of her, but you refuse to let her hurt either of you anymore. You'll have Sebastian with you, so what could go wrong really? You can't even imagine the horrors Ominis has endured because of her, the monster she nearly turned him into.
She has to pay.
Tumblr media
"Sebastian don't you dare chicken out now!" You angrily whisper as the last few students are trickling to their dorms. You said goodnight to Ominis about an hour or so ago and pretended you had gone to bed, only to sneak back out once he'd gone to bed.
"I'm not. I just wonder if there's a safer way we can do this!" He retorts. You cross your arms, screw safe.
"There isn't! We have to deal with her now. For Ominis." You insist and that causes Sebastian to nod in agreement. Hesitant agreement, but it was enough for you. You slowly creep out of the common room, using the disillusionment spell to sneak out to the castle grounds. You really need to buy Sebastian a thank you gift for teaching you that (and so many other) useful spell. Once you were out on the castle grounds, you began to follow the path to Hogsmeade. You knew Mrs. Gaunt was watching you all hours of the day, you could always feel her icy gaze on her. You hadn't told Ominis because he was already worried enough, you didn't want him to start feeling paranoid like you were.
"So...when she finds us, what are we gonna do?" Sebastian asks, his wand in his hand. He makes sure to stay close to you, Ominis would kill him if anything happened to you. Plus, you're like family to Sebastian. He would never forgive himself if you got hurt and he was around.
"I'm gonna talk to her."
"You're gonna...talk to her? Please tell me you've got something better than that." Sebastian groans, he knows how unreasonable Mrs. Gaunt can be. Especially when it comes to Muggles.
"We can't just attack her Seb."
"That's precisely what I think we should do."
"None of your ideas ever work though." You tease, laughing when you hear him fake an offended gasp. You continue to walk, wands lit as you keep your eyes open for Mrs. Gaunt, who is sure to make an appearance. As if on cue, you here the sound of someone apparating behind you.
"So you're the Muggle." Her voice is steady, and she's well spoken like Ominis is. It's obvious she comes from the posh high-society.
"Mrs. Gaunt, I only want to talk." You say as calmly as you can, the resemblance Ominis holds to his Mother is striking. He has her soft features, her blonde hair, even the blue eyes beneath his blindness match her own. Her eyes are narrowed, and sharp like a snakes. She's wearing a black dress and matching black heels. Her nails are long, black, and pointed like claws. She sneers down at you in disdain, as if your mere presence utterly disgusts her. Which it probably does.
"To talk? You have nice manners for an abomination." She hums, her eyes never leaving yours. You cringe internally, you're not looking forward to explaining this to Ominis tomorrow. He's going to completely lose it. His Mother is far more intimidating than you realized, her face was devoid of any and all emotion.
"I want you to leave Ominis and I alone. I love him and he loves me. We're not doing anything wrong." You explain firmly, you can see Sebastian trembling behind you, his wand still raised.
"So you have been corrupting him. I'm losing my precious son and it's all your fault." The air around her seems to darken, and suddenly you feel like a lamb that's walked straight into the lions den. You're in way over your head...perhaps Ominis was right. But it's too late to backdown now, so you continue to stand your ground. Her gaze sharpens, her expression dark and dangerous. She takes slow steps towards you, you feel completely frozen.
"You lost him all on your own, when you tortured him!" You spit at her, forcing yourself to ignore the fear coursing through you. You suddenly wished Ominis were here, he might have been able to talk her down. But he isn't here, so you'll have to do your best without him. Please don't be angry with me you plead to yourself, even though you know he will be.
"He needed to be taught a lesson! He was being a disobedient little brat. I don't need a dirty Mudblood to tell me how to raise my own son!" Her voice was raising, hatred seeping into her face. You flinch at the harshness of her words, subtly taking a step back towards Sebastian. Her eyes land on him then, and she grins. Almost as if she didn't even realize he were here before.
"Sallow, such a pity you associate yourself with this vagrant. As a Pureblood I expected better of you." She tuts like a disapproving Mother would. Sebastian swallows thickly, he has also realized that the two of you have made an enormous error. She stops once she's stood directly in front of you, a lightness reaching her eyes that wasn't there before. It made fear surge through you like cold water had been dumped on your head.
"I think we need to talk privately, don't you? Mr. Sallow I will only let you go this once. If I ever see you consorting with Mudbloods again, I'll be sure to teach you the same lesson I taught Ominis." She said calmly and before either of you could protest she was gone...and she took you with her. Sebastian stood, mouth agape as the two of you disappeared. His heart fell into his stomach, now you were alone with her. The woman who loves torturing Muggles more than anything.
Oh fuck. He needs to get Ominis.
Tumblr media
"Ominis!" Hands were harshly shaking him, disturbing the nice dream he had been having. He tried to ignore whoever it was, hoping they would go away.
"Ominis, wake up! It's important." Ominis recognized Sebastian's voice, and he groaned. Ominis pushed his head further into the pillow. Go away Sebastian.
"Y/N's in danger!"
Wait.
Ominis's eyes flew open and he sat up in bed quickly, his heart suddenly racing.
"What? What happened? Where is she?" Ominis gasps, pulling himself out of bed to pull his robes on as quickly as he can. Sebastian pulls him out of the dorm and braces himself for Ominis's reaction.
"You're not allowed to be mad." Sebastian says, and Ominis already feels frustrated.
"What did you do?" He snaps, and Sebastian winces.
"Technically it was Y/N's idea. I was just trying to help." He explains weakly, and Ominis already looks positively livid.
"What on Earth happened?" Ominis snaps and Sebastian knows he has no choice but to tell him what happened.
"She wanted to confront your Mother-"
No.
"-so we snuck out tonight and confronted her-"
Please this can't be happening.
"-and your Mother kidnapped Y/N and I don't know where they went." Sebastian finished and by the time he was done Ominis had turned to grasp onto the metal railing. He feels waves of panic rising in his chest like tidal waves, and the gnawing frustration, why can't you just listen to him? He loves that you're headstrong, but sometimes you're too headstrong. Why can't you just listen to him??
"Ominis?" Sebastian tries gently, he can see how rigid Ominis's shoulders are. Despite how angry Ominis is with you, you're alone with his Mother right now. The fear coursing through him overrules all else.
"We have to find her, take me to where you met with my Mother." Ominis says, taking Sebastian's hand knowing that will be the fastest way to lead Ominis there without him bumping into stuff or falling down the stairs. Sebastian leads Ominis through the castle, holding onto him tightly and being sure to tell Ominis when there are stairs coming up. They make it outside to the exact spot you were taken and Ominis is trying not to panic.
"Okay...okay where would my Mother go?" Ominis pulls anxiously at his hair, tears brimming in his eyes.
"Somewhere secluded, far away enough so other people can't hear any screams." Sebastian says factually, his sentence nearly brings Ominis to his knees.
"Can't hear any screams? Oh Merlin..." He feels sick, his hands are pressed to his knees as he doubles over. He feels lightheaded, sick, hot all over, and like he could scream. Sebastian is quick to get to Ominis's side, his hand gently rubbing Ominis's back. Sebastian has always seen Ominis like a little brother and is quite protective of him.
"We'll find her, I promise. I'm so sorry Ominis." Sebastian says, his voice quieter at the end.
"This isn't your fault Sebastian." Ominis says, it's yours and he's definitely angry with you. But he can be angry later, when you're safe in his arms.
"Seriously Ominis, think. The only person who would know where she went is a Gaunt. You can do this, think!" Sebastian pushes and Ominis stands upright. Somewhere secluded, somewhere his Mother could control. Away from other people, far enough away that nobody could disturb them. You're being tortured, right now. You're probably screaming, crying, begging for her to stop. Crying out for him, pleading that he finds you.
I'm trying my love, I promise I'll find you.
"Ominis, any ideas?" Sebastian is doing his best to make sure Ominis stays focused, he can see that is Ominis falling apart.
"There's a crypt in the Forbidden Forest, a place my family created centuries ago. You can only open the door if you're a Gaunt. That has to be where." Ominis says finally, and he takes off for the Forbidden Forest. Sebastian quickly follows behind him and for once, Ominis is glad Sebastian is near.
Tumblr media
Your arms are chained to the walls, the metal cuffs are biting your skin painfully. Literally biting, the inside of the cuffs are lined with...teeth? You try to blink the blurriness out of your eyes so you could see where you were. There was stone everywhere, stone floors, walls, ceiling. There were cut outs in the walls, rectangular shapes just big enough to fit a coffin. Is this a tomb or a crypt of some kind? The room is dimly lit by a cluster of candles sitting against a wooden table on the other side of the room.
"Welcome back, piglet." A voice says from the opposite side of the room. You can barely make out a silhouette leaning against the table, it's Mrs. Gaunt. There's a cigarette in her hand, the smoke slowly filling the room leaving it hazy.
"That's all you are, useless meat for me to play with. Shall we have some fun, piglet?" She smiles, its a twisted grin. So this is why Ominis was so afraid, only he knew how sick his family is. You should have listened, and you swear if you make it out of here alive you will never doubt him again. She takes few steps towards you, dagger brandished in her hand. Your heart begins to race as you yank on the chains, causing you to cry out in pain. The razor sharp teeth lining the inside of the cuffs slice into your skin, every time you yank against the chains they'll cut into you.
She kneels in front of you, using her knife to slowly cut your robes off you. When she's finished, you're left in your undergarments. She sneers at you, staring into your eyes. There is no love in her gaze, no life, just nothing. Two empty blue voids. You can hardly believe Ominis is even related to this horrible woman, he's so compassionate and kind.
"It is in my opinion that clothing tends to dampen the pain the Cruciatus curse has to offer, I want you to feel it all." She explains, and you feel your entire body trembling. Mrs. Gaunt returns to the wooden table, picking up her wand and turning back to face you.
"You have corrupted my son, you've filled his heart with love and happiness. You've made him soft, gentle, weak. You have sullied the noble house of Gaunt, that is a crime I could never forgive. Are you ready for your punishment piglet?" Mrs. Gaunt asks, you resist the urge to swear at her for speaking about Ominis that way. You doubt it would do any good. You close your eyes and grind your teeth together. You brace for the pain, you know it's going to come. Ominis had described it to you once, he said its like all of your cells are on fire. Like everything is burning, exploding, and putting itself back together all at once. Like your blood has been electrocuted, agony unlike anything he's ever felt.
"Crucio!" You hear her say the curse with such venom in her tone you know it'll be pure agony. The more you mean it, the more it hurts the victim. At least, that's what Ominis said. You brace for the pain, but it doesn't come. When you open your eyes, it's as though everything is happening in slow motion. You see Sebastian and Ominis, and the red sparks of the curse leaving the tip of her wand. Before the spell can hit you, Ominis throws himself in front of you, shieling your body with his own. He didn't have to think about it, there was no consideration. He leapt in front of you on pure instinct, he loves you. He knows how this spell feels, he will never let you feel it.
"Ominis no!" You scream, tears blinding your vision as the curse hits him. This is all your fault. Ominis cries out in agony, like a tortured animal. His cries are guttural, they shake you to your core. He writhes on the ground, red sparks shooting all over his entire body. You yank against the chains, despite them cutting into your wrists so deeply there is blood running down your arms.
"Protego!" You hear Sebastian shout as Mrs. Gaunt throws another spell at him. He immediately rushes towards you and Ominis as the red sparks begin to fade from his body and his breathing evens out. His eyes are closed but you know he's still awake. You see sweat beading along his forehead, and his expression is one of agony. Your heart feels like it's been ripped out of your chest, like it's there with him on the ground- tormented in agony. You feel rage bubbling in your chest, a rage unlike anything you've felt before this moment. You narrow your eyes as your gaze settles on Mrs. Gaunt, who doesn't even look remorseful that she just hit Ominis instead of you.
"Alohomora!" Sebastian says, and the cuffs around your wrists pop open, dropping you to the ground. You rise to your feet as Ominis sits up, his head in his hands and his entire body trembling. She did this to him. Sebastian eyes you, as if suddenly realizing you're not wearing any clothes, save your undergarments'. He's happy for once that Ominis can't see. Sebastian shrugs off his robes immediately, handing them to you. You squeeze his hand appreciatively before fastening his robes around your body.
"You're pure evil." You spit at Mrs. Gaunt, facing her with your wand drawn. She laughs, taking another drag of her cigarette as if this is just a normal Wednesday for her. She throws spells at the two of you, each one being blocked. You feel a bubble of energy rising up inside of you, and you narrow your eyes at her trying to focus all of that energy towards her. You call upon the power of Ancient Magic, focusing it all towards her, and it bursts out of you like an explosion. Mrs. Gaunt is thrown against the wall, and as soon as she does she's knocked unconscious. Instantly you and Sebastian are turning towards Ominis. Ominis weakly turns his head towards the sound, his head is so fuzzy he isn't even sure what's going on.
Where is he? The ground beneath his fingertips feels unfamiliar, and it's very cold in here. His teeth are chattering, and his entire body is so sore. He feels your hands on his cheeks, he knows it's you by the way you smell. Sebastian is on his other side, his hand resting on Ominis's back.
"My love? Are you okay? Ominis talk to me please." You beg, tears streaming down your cheeks. He looks confused, and there is a very distant look on his face. He blinks a few times, turning his head to face yours- or where he assumes you are. It takes a few minutes, but slowly it comes back to him. You...you went off to find his Mother. She kidnapped you, brought you to the Gaunt Family crypt located in the Forbidden Forest. She cast Crucio towards you, and Ominis took the hit... so you didn't have to.
"Ominis please, please say something." You were outright begging now, he was still sitting there silently and you remember Ominis mentioning that the Cruciatus curse can also impact the mind. Can drive people to the point of insanity, and there's no coming back from it. You have no idea how many times this curse was cast on him as a child, what if this was just too much? What if he doesn't recover? This was all your fault! All because you thought you could-
"I'm okay sweetheart." Ominis mutters softly, his hand searching the ground until he finds yours. You cry from pure relief, sobs wracking through your body. Ominis winds his arms around you, pulling you into his lap. You bury your face in his neck, crying softly as he holds you. He leans back against the crypt wall, his panic finally easing now that you're here in his arms where you should be.
The anger comes back too.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Ominis hisses quietly. You pull back, sniffling and wiping your tears. You can hardly meet his gaze even though you know he can't see you. You don't know what to say, you were being cocky and arrogant. You thought you could handle this peacefully, that you could talk it out. But you were a fool, and a naïve little girl. You didn't know how Ominis could ever forgive you, it was your fault that he got hit with the Cruciatus curse. Your fault that he had to put himself in danger to come save you. Your fault that any of this happened at all.
"I thought I could fix it, I didn't want her to hurt you again! And- and you got hurt because of me. Ominis I'm so sorry. You...you were...and its my fault. Its all my fault it's-" You began to ramble, emotion swelling in your throat making it hard to speak. Ominis's cross expression softened, his hand reached up to wipe away falling tears. He can't be angry with you, even if he should be.
"It's alright my love, I promise. I'm okay now." He says, but you're no longer listening. You can't hear him.
"-and then you got hit with...with the curse and I caused that pain. I caused your pain, I love you how could I do that to you?"
"Sweetheart-"
"You're never going to forgive me and- and you don't have to. I understand if you can't...after what I did, after all the trouble I caused you. Please don't leave me Ominis, I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to, I didn't-" You blubbered, practically hysterical. Ominis abruptly cut you off by pressing his lips against yours. Hearing you beg him not to leave you caused tears to burn in his eyes. How could you ever think he'd leave you? No matter how angry he is with you, he would never leave you. Never.
His lips moved slow and soft against yours until your breathing relaxed and your heartbeat slowed. When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours, gently nudging his nose against yours.
"I want you to listen to me right now my love, there is nothing that would ever make me leave you. I might get upset with you, but know that even if I'm angry that I love you. That I will always love you, and none of this was your fault. This was my Mother's fault, my fault for being a Gaunt. Please, please listen to me when it comes to my family. I promise there isn't anybody who knows them better than I do." He says softly, ceasing the panic that was taking over your rational thinking.
"Uh Ominis, your Mother is beginning to...stir. We should go." He says and you stand, helping Ominis up as well.
"Sebastian, take Y/N back to the castle. I need to deal with my Mother once and for all." Ominis says and he can feel your hands tighten around his robes.
"No, no Ominis don't. Come with us please." You beg, fear beginning to swirl in your mind once more. Sebastian didn't say anything, he was chewing on his bottom lip anxiously.
"Do you trust me Sebastian?"
"With my life Ominis."
"Then let me do this. Please." Ominis turns his head towards Sebastian, and even though Ominis is blind you know that they have a silent conversation.
"Alright Ominis." Sebastian agrees, gently taking your arm and leading you away even though you were protesting the entire time.
"No, Sebastian we need to help Ominis. I can't lose him, please-"
"Ominis is perfectly capable of protecting himself. We need to let Nurse Blainey tend to the cuts on your wrists okay?" He says gently, his arms around you as he carefully leads you back to the castle. Ominis remains in the crypt, wincing as he leans back against the wall while he waits for his Mother to wake. It feels like his entire body has been hit by a train, like he's spent the last week being a dragon's chew toy. He'll never tell you how bad it feels though, or that it continues to hurt to a certain degree after the curse has already faded. His muscles are sore, but his chest is the worst. His chest feels as though it's been impaled, like a dagger has been driven clear through his heart. It'll be about a week before the residual pain fades. He can't tell you, you'll feel like it's your fault and he doesn't want you to feel guilty for being kidnapped.
"O...Ominis." It's more of a statement than a question but Ominis answers nonetheless.
"Yes Mother?"
"You're still here." She sounds pleased, that will soon change.
"Not for long, only to deliver a message." Ominis says, hissing in pain as he pushes himself from the wall. He takes slow steps towards her, he can hear her shuffling things around on the wooden table.
"Ominis quit being-"
"You will never hurt her again Mother. You will never even attempt it. You're going to return to London and you'll never visit me again." Ominis says firmly, his voice unwavering. Gone is the boy who is afraid of his Mother. Gone is the boy who feels small in her presence.
"Is- is that so?" Her voice wavered, for once in his entire life Ominis has detected a weakness in his Mother. You must have really done some damage, a proud smile makes it's way onto his face. Of course you damaged her, you're the strongest Witch in the entire school and he knows you'll only continue to get stronger.
"Yes Mother or I swear I will hurt you myself, that or I'll have you arrested. Y/N knows Officer Singer and I assure you she will believe any accusations that are made against you, especially if I am the only making the accusations." Ominis snaps, his fists curling. She chuckles, coughing as she does so.
"You've really grown up Ominis, I'm almost proud. Maybe I would be if you weren't with that useless Mudblood." She sighs, and Ominis feel rage flare in his chest at that despicable word.
"Goodbye Mother, do not come back." He snaps, before slowly making his way out of the crypt, only bumping into the wall 3 times on his way out.
Tumblr media
Nurse Blainey finishes cleaning up the cuts on your wrists, and Sebastian remains by your side the entire time. You're very appreciative of his friendship. She had a lot of questions, and Sebastian swiftly explained that you two had wandered too close to the Forbidden Forest on your way back to the castle. She raised a questioning brow, but Nurse Blainey actually liked Sebastian so she didn't question him. Which is unusual, because the vast majority of the staff did not like Sebastian at all. With your lack of clothing and the fact that you're wearing Sebastian's robes you're thankful she decided against asking further questions.
You eyed the doors to the Infirmary anxiously, Ominis had yet to return and if anybody needs to be examined by Nurse Blainey it's him. Although his condition will prove difficult to explain. By the time you've finished, Nurse Blainey makes Sebastian promise to ensure you get back to your bed safely. He agrees quickly and you two are making your way back, with no sign of Ominis. Suddenly as you cross into the Transfiguration courtyard, an owl flies overhead dropping a letter into your hand.
Meet me in the Undercroft. -O.G
You smile widely, and Sebastian grins before turning around and leading you into the Defense Against the Dark Arts Tower. He leaves you at the entrance to the Undercroft, somehow understanding he is no longer needed. You thank him and promise to return his robe to him tomorrow. You make your way into the Undercroft, looking around for Ominis. As soon as the gate opens you see him, lying back against a simple bed he conjured. At the sound of the gate closing he props himself up to smile at you. You smile widely as you make your way towards him. You instantly lay down on the bed next to him, relief flooding your veins seeing him here safe. He instantly wraps an arm around you, pulling you against his chest.
"I don't want to sleep in the dorms tonight, stay with me?" Ominis whispers, not wanting to break the comfortable silence in the Undercroft. Your cheeks flush, you and Ominis have never slept next to each other. Being with him all night, feeling him against you, his warmth...it sounds like heaven.
And hell. You can already feel heat building between your legs at the thought of being in a bed all night...alone...with Ominis.
"Do you even need to ask?" You ask playfully, and he laughs softly. You can see him wince slightly. Your heart hurts. Ominis reaches over, his hand finding your arm before lifting it to his lips. He kisses over the skin Nurse Blainey healed and his lips travel up your arm, across the top of your shoulder. He leans up to hover over you, his lips pressing kisses up your neck. You sigh softly, feeling his lips ghosting over the spot on your neck that makes your insides melt.
"Is this okay?" Ominis mumbles against your jaw and it feels like your brain is short-circuiting. His lips feel heavenly against your skin, making goosebumps rise in his wake.
"Yes, this is perfect. Keep going." You softly urge, your legs falling open to allow him more room. His hands find your stomach before they wander, it's the only way he will be able to learn how to navigate your body. His hands slide up your body, feeling the hem of your bralette before sliding around your back. His lips meet yours in a languid kiss, soft and slow and he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. You moan softly against him as he presses his hips against yours, the pressure pushing his cock against your heat. The sounds you're beginning to make send shockwaves of pleasure through him, heating him up from the inside.
His fingers find the back of your bralette and he can only hope he can figure out how to get the clasp undone. His distracts you with his lips and by gently grinding his cock against you, the heat coming from between your legs is making him so hard it hurts. Thankfully, the clasp pops open (he's not even sure how he managed to open it) and he pulls the fabric off your body. Now more than ever Ominis wished he could see. He wants to see your body laid bare for him to see, but he knows that will never be. So this is enough, feeling your skin and hearing you moan beneath him is enough. His hands slide up your stomach, eager to explore the skin he's never had the chance to feel.
"Oh Ominis..." You mewl when his thumb brushes gently over your hardening nipple. Your reaction encourages him to keep going, though due to the pain still coursing through his body he has to continue slowly. His left hand cups your breast, gently massaging as he lowers his head against your chest. He isn't quite sure where your nipple is so he presses his lips against your skin as soon as he feels you beneath his lips. He presses kisses as he explores your chest, and eventually he finds your nipple and takes it gently into his mouth. Your hands card into his hair, pulling gently as his teeth nip at your bud. Ominis is trying not to, but he does feel slightly insecure. It's easy for him to feel inadequate because he's blind but your moans and sighs are enough to convince him he's at least pleasuring you well enough.
His hand pinches and rolls your nipple while his tongue laves attention to the other, and you feel your entire body heating up considerably. Your head is barely clear enough to gasp out, "more, more please Ominis."
He smiles against you as his right hand slides down your stomach to where he knows you need him. His hand reaches the hem of your underwear and he pauses for a moment, giving you a chance to stop him. When he hears no protest from you he slides his hand beneath the waistband and gently feels your folds. He barely bites back a groan when he feels how drenched you are.
"You're soaked darling." Ominis praises, his forehead gently resting against yours as he slides a finger through your wet folds. You whine pathetically, trying to grind your hips against his hand. Ominis chuckles softly.
"I know my love, I know. Don't worry, I'm here." He whispers, pressing his lips against yours as he gently plays with your clit. He's being so soft, so careful, and yet so curious. He keeps his face close to yours so he can feel every pant you make, hear every whine and moan that leaves your angelic lips. His fingers rub gentle circles over your clit, causing more wetness to gush out of you. You gasp against his lips as he flicks your clit, and you lift your hips to try and entice him for more.
"I need more, i-inside me please." You beg and this time Ominis groans against your lips. His fingers trail down your folds until they reach your entrance and he carefully pushes one lithe finger into you. You let you a desperate moan, your back arching and pressing your bare chest against him. He gently pumps his finger in you, swallowing every beautiful moan that leaves your lips.
"You're beautiful sweetheart." Ominis tells you earnestly, and he doesn't need functioning eyes to know that. He continues to pump his finger into you, and soon he's gently pressing in a second. This one hurts, you are a virgin after all. You wince at the slight stretch, pressing your face into his neck. Ominis wraps his other arm around your back, holding you as he gently works two fingers into your tight heat. You're moaning against his skin, holding into him tightly and you're so so wet. So warm, so inviting. He feels like he's slowly losing his mind, he can't even imagine what being inside you is going to feel like. Ominis has never felt more connected to another human being in his life, and he knows you feel the same.
"Oh, oh Ominis I'm going to cum." You whimper as he continues his slow, steady pace- carefully building the pleasure higher and higher. Ominis presses his lips to your neck, gently biting and sucking at your skin. Your entire body felt like it was inside a furnace, and a sheen layer of sweat was beginning to shine on your skin. His fingers were hitting a spot inside you that made you moan louder than before, your toes were curled as you kept your eyes on him. He doesn't stop, he continues to sweetly thrust his fingers into you until you're clamping hard around him and moaning so beautifully. Your back arches and your hands curl tightly around his robes as you cum and he can feel you gushing around his fingers. It's perfect.
"I love you Ominis, I- I need more. I need all of you, please." You beg, and he chuckles. You're damn near insatiable and he absolutely loves it. Your hand drifts down his front to curl around his aching cock, which he has been neglecting to ensure you came at least once before he even took off any clothing.
"I love you, are you sure sweetheart? You're ready?" He has to check, needs to know you want this as badly as he does. You nod immediately before remembering he can't see you, which makes your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.
"Yes, yes yes I'm sure. I need to feel you inside me. I need you inside me now." You beg and Ominis smiles before reluctantly standing to shrug his robes off. You watch him pull his tie off before working at the buttons of his shirt. His cheeks warm, he knows you're watching him. Seeing every part of him as he gently sheds layer after layer until he's stood bare before you. He might not be able to see you, but he loves that you get to see him.
"You're so perfect Ominis." You whisper, your eyes drifting over every inch of bare skin presented to you. His cheeks flush even deeper as he whispers a quiet 'thank you' before climbing onto the bed over you again. He reaches down to carefully pull your underwear off you and you spread your legs wide for him to slot himself between them. You loop your arms around his bare shoulders as he reaches down to feel where your soaked entrance is. He shudders as he notches his head against your folds, pressed up to your entrance. You wait in anticipation for him to move, but he begins to gently slide his tip from your entrance up to your clit and back down again. You sigh in frustration, why will he not get inside you already?
"Ominis don't tease." You beg and your words make him smile, you always forget there is a bit of a rebellious streak to Ominis. He wouldn't be friends with Sebastian if there wasn't. He could be mischievous when he wanted to be. Wetness gushes out and begins to slick your inner thighs and Ominis is mesmerized by the wet sounds your heat makes. Finally once he's deemed you wet enough to take him he presses the tip firmly against your entrance. He slides his hand up until he finds yours and he laces your fingers together. Ominis's other hand is at the base of his cock as he gently pushes his hips forward, sliding his tip into your suffocating cunt.
"Oh my love," Ominis purrs, his head dipping down to kiss you as he continues to work himself into your tight heat. He presses himself in inch by inch, and you quietly cry out in pain at the intrusion. His eyes have fallen shut, you feel absolutely incredible, this feeling is incomparable. Nothing in his life will ever come close to making him feel as good as he feels right now, with you. He continues his gentle intrusion, whispering words of reassurance in your ear. Telling you how perfect you feel, how good you're doing, that he's almost in. Once he hits your hymen he pauses, you know what he's asking.
You respond with a whiny, "please."
And Ominis is surging his hips forward, past your hymen until his hips are flush against yours. You moan like a whore, and it makes Ominis shudder. You feel so soft and so warm, you're so unbelievably wet around him. Ominis doesn't move, he can feel how tight you're squeezing him, knows you must be in pain. He kisses you gently, his thumb rubbing little circles on your clit to help distract you from the pain. You kiss him back, moaning softly as more wetness drips out of you. Slowly the pain ebbs away and you're wriggling against him, becoming restless. Ominis can't help but think how perfect you are.
"Is it okay if I move, darling?" Ominis asks gently and you press your forehead against his.
"Please move, I need you to move." You plead and Ominis is very slowly pulling his hips back. He's going so slow you can feel every ridge of his cock as he pulls out to the tip, only to surge back in. You squeal softly, and the wet sounds of your cunt taking his cock make Ominis groan. He begins a slow deep pace, letting you feel every inch of his cock as he tenderly kisses your cervix with his tip. You're moaning into his mouth and Ominis can no longer quiet his groans and gasps. He loves listening to the sounds of your bodies connecting, he loves feeling so close to you. Ominis didn't realize that sex would make him feel so connected to you, like the two of you were becoming one. Most of all Ominis loves the sounds of pleasure you make, every gasp, moan, and squeal takes him a little higher. He loves knowing it was him that made you moan like that.
"I-I love you." You cant help but say it, you've never felt closer to him than you do right now. He continues to thrust into you softly, one hand holding yours and the other rubbing tight circles on your clit. You felt pleasure exploding through every nerve ending, your entire body is shuddering and covered in goosebumps. Ominis groans when you say you love him, it's euphoric.
"I love you sweetheart, I fucking love you." Ominis gasps, and he really doesn't swear often. You smile at that, you love knowing you have this effect on him. You feel your orgasm swiftly approaching and Ominis knows it too, he can feel the way your hips push to meet his thrusts. Can hear it in the way your moans turn more desperate, raising up in pitch.
"Make me come Ominis, please please please." You plead desperately. Your words are starting to make him feel lightheaded with pleasure.
"I've got you my love, I'm going to make it all better." He promises with a kiss on your forehead, gasping against you as he feels his own orgasm rapidly approaching.
"Should- should I pull out?" He asks, gritting his teeth together at the thought of leaving your inviting heat now. But he doesn't want to risk getting you pregnant, you however have a different idea.
"No, no please come inside me. I need to feel you fill me up Ominis." You whisper and he swears he died and went to heaven right then and there. How on Earth did he up with the most perfect woman?
"But we can't have a baby now my love-" He tries, Ominis always being the voice of reason. You know that should scare you into agreeing but it doesn't. If anything it makes you want him to come inside you more.
"Don't care, please. Please if you don't come inside me I'll never forgive you." You threaten weakly as he continues to thrust into you gently. He knows that isn't true but he chooses not to pull out anyway. You feel the coil wind tighter until it snaps, and your back arches with a silent moan. You clamp and convulse against him and Ominis chases his own orgasm, thrusting harsher into your fluttering walls. Feeling you gush continuously around him drives him over the edge and he slams into you, stilling as he comes inside you. You moan as you feel him fill you up, as you requested. Once he comes down from his high, he gently pulls out and flops onto the bed next to you.
"We have to do that more often." You pant softly and Ominis laughs, genuinely laughs. It makes you laugh too. You love him and he loves you, nothing else matters. His hand tangles with yours, your fingers lacing together. Ominis pulls the covers back and lays against the pillows, holding his arms open for you to slot yourself into his side. Which you do. He pulls the covers over both of you and gently wraps his arms around you, your back pressed against his chest. His fingers gently stroke over your tummy and there's a smile on his face.
"What are you thinking about?" You mumble sleepily.
"The future."
Tumblr media
TAGLIST: @abbiesxox @nekee-lilac02 @atomictrashcollectorme @idcabouttumbl @thevintagevictorian
589 notes · View notes
captain039 · 4 months ago
Text
Playing pretend Part 2
Aemond x reader
Warnings: Gore, swearing, intimacy, tension, niece/nephewcest , Targaryen incest, reader is Rhaenyras daughter, if I spell something wrong I don’t care 😂, AOB, anxiety, anxiety attacks
Sorry it’s fast paced wanna get to the good bits xD which will happen next part xD
I don’t know how family’s work. He’s your uncle not cousin but also your husband… fucken noice 😭😂
Previous part <-
Tumblr media
Playing this game is you hiding in this bedroom for now. Your things are still yet to arrive by boat and you no doubt have two guards or more by your door to ‘keep you safe’ gods give you strength. The room feels wrong and cold, you hate how nice the bed looks, how nice the lying chair is, hells you hate the perfect fire place. You feel as if someone put something in a drink and clouded your vision so you don’t see what this place really is, falling apart and broken.
It’s a struggle to calm yourself, you pace the room for hours, scent two alpha guards outside with a pissed off sour smell, the room feels like it’s getting smaller and smaller. You sit on the bed, your things still in cases and boxes no Layla to talk too either. Layla was one of your servants, around your age, one of the few other omegas at Dragon Stone keep. You miss your mother, your brother also. Your father lingers your mind. Daemon isn’t really your father, but he’s the only one you’ve known to stick around the longest besides Harwin and Laenor. Your hair is a strange mess of white and a random patch of brown underneath, a reminder you aren’t pure Targaryen. Thankfully you can hide it unlike your other siblings. A knock comes before the queen mother walks in and you stand abruptly and bow.
“Please don’t” she says a hand resting on her upper stomach. You frown slightly but stop your bow and leave the bed.
“The wedding will be in a week, I’m yet to break the news to Aegon, though my trusted advisors are aware” she pours herself a goblet of wine before taking a long sip and you nod in answer.
“Shall I remain here for till the wedding?” You say, Though the thought sounds horrible and excellent at the same time.
“That would be best, I’ll have some servants bring you whatever you need, a seamstress will need to come by also” Alicent takes a sip again and sighs. You watch her, she’s tired under the makeup, despite her well put together look.
“I cannot visit often, do not leave this room” she finishes and in an instant she’s out the door.
You sag staring at the now empty cup she left and wondering what the hell you were thinking.
No contact is ideal for the first few days besides food being brought, a bath being run, you can sit and ponder your stupidity in silence. It’s ok till you’re plagued with dreams of a one eyed prince and questioning your sanity in these four walls. A seamstress does come, roughly handles you despite your royal bloodline, sneers when you do things wrong before she’s gone out the door with swears she doesn’t want you to hear. By the fourth night you’re awoken by ruckus, your door opening and slamming an angry king walking in, guards, a prince and the queen mother. The kings yelling, spitting and kicking against the restraints and you’re utterly confused by such behaviour.
“Go back to your room Aegon! You’re drunk my king please sleep it off!” Alicent yells at her son and now it makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is Aemond standing in front of you, hand on his sword like a deadly shield. What also doesn’t make sense is his inviting scent that makes your body shake as the guards and the Queen mother manage to remove the king from your room. You let go of the breath you held in shakily seeing Aemond glance over his shoulder at you before leaving without a word.
The wedding day feels more like trial to your life long sentence in prison. You’re dressed, hair ripped into place, makeup slapped on your face. It wasn’t truely all that rough, in your mind it was though, you might as well have shackles as you walk into the throne room. There’s hundreds of people, there’s too many smells, too much chatter and mumbled, the music is too loud and sounds like a child composed it. You struggle to breathe having dreamt of this day where your brother or Daemon walks you down the aisle to marry maybe for love, in less hostile situations, a small ceremony like your mother and Daemon had, maybe along the cliffs, or the beach. Your eyes blur over occasionally as your guided down the middle and to Aemond. His back is still turned, the red and tan robe looking strange on his body compared to the normal black leather he wears. The wedding being held in the throne room was Aegons idea it was also Aegons idea to have an old Valyrian ceremony, he sat on the throne, the priest in front of him. You stand on shaky legs beside your future husband and to be mate, he doesn’t look or acknowledge you as the priest begins the ceremony. It’s long and your shaking doesn’t die down, neither does your rapid breathing. As the priest ready the cloth to wrap around your hands Aegon sits up and takes it from him, along with the ceremony dagger You hesitate moving as you slowly face Aemond, his eyes trained on his brother.
“Come now brother, let’s not make a scene” Aegon says an uneasy smile on his face. Aemond finally turns to you. Aegon hands Aemond the dagger. As his hands lift you force yourself not to flinch, you suck in a breath as the knife tip goes into your bottom. Your heart pounds in your ear as the pain stops. Aemonds thumb replacing the sting gentle before he draws a small line on your forehead in your blood. You take the knife from him and red flashes before your eyes, a vision of your brother dying to him and his dragon. You could end that feud right now, a brother for a brother. Aemond knows what you’re thinking, the glint in his one eye, the way his pupil blows and his lips tighten. He’s daring you to do it. You stare a long while before you lift the blade to his bottom lip and slice. You add more pressure, an angry flash going past his eye before it’s gone and you hand Aegon the knife back before pressing your thumb to the wound then to his forehead. You take the knife again, slicing your palm, then Aemond his, you press your hands together as Aegon wraps the binding cloth around your hands and the priest continues his prayer. You watch the blood trickle from Aemonds lip that dragon fire in your heart flaring. You take a small breath and frown slightly at the smell of pleased alpha. Aemonds eye narrows as he repeats the vowels given before the priest says them to you.
“I do” you say. It dawns on you your first kiss is going to be from the enemy, in front of hundreds of people, in front of the false king. It doesn’t happen though, Aemond turns to the crowd as the prayer finishes and claps and cheers echo. You force a smile, wincing when the cut on your lip tears more. You’re all but dragged out of the throne room, thankful to be free of that place but now bound to it. Aemond hasn’t let go of your bleeding hand, his grip tight as there are more cheering and clapping from crowded hallways. You don’t know where he’s leading you, hopefully back to your room, you weren’t focusing when you were escorted out.
When you come to door you know it isn’t your room as Aemond forces the doors open and his scent hits you in the face. He tugs you in and you finally tear your hand from his, the cloth going to the ground. You stare at it, the binding cloth, intricate details lining the outside, the soft look, the symbol it is. It feels as if your heart is on that floor too, discarded and now useless.
Next part ->
Tumblr media
34 notes · View notes
thewritersaddictions · 9 months ago
Text
Request/Drabble: RE8- (House Heisenberg) Karl Heisenberg: Ride of your life
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's just a meeting. You'd think that Karl would not fuck around in front of Mother Miranda, but he'll do anything if he knows it will get a reaction out of you.
You're his absolute favorite toy. He didn't make you, but he did fall for you. Regardless, Karl has his eyes set on you at the start of the meeting.
You aren't sure why you even allowed this stupid little bet to go this far, but it had. Your legs are crossed under your dress, but you can feel the pressure welling up already. Karl sits in front of you with the cockiest smile.
The toys come to life ever so slightly with every flick of Karl's wrist. You bite your lip, trying to hold back whatever bubble is growing in your lower stomach and chest.
Mother Miranda is rambling on about testing more subjects. "We need to have more test subjects brought in." "I've got more servants that can be tested on, Mother Miranda." Lady Dimitrescu says. Karls rolls his eyes at the prissy way that Alcina talks. "Heisenberg?" she calls to him, His head rises tall, but his hand moves gracefully, causing more bubbles in my lower stomach.
"I have a few new ideas that could be useful; I'm sure it will work out," Karl says, his voice booming in the old, dilapidated church house Mother Miranda has taken as the meeting house.
Grumbles of frustration come from Alcina, and then a whining doll appears. Muttering about how Donna and her need more flowers or whatever she uses on her lonely mountain top.
"Oh, Heisenberg, aren't you being a bit of a liar," Alcina mutters. A guttling growl comes from your lover, and there is a twist of his wrist as the toy buzzes with life. IF you weren't so damn clouded with feverish lust, you might just have gotten up to stop the fight that was about to begin between the two of them.
"Oh please, like you have any better fucking ideas." Karl implied as his metal hammer hummed to life to his shaking fist. You roll your lips between teeth and hum as the vibration kicks up a notch the angrier Karl gets.
The other lords sit there watching and waiting for the rumble to start; Mother Miranda watches her so-called children fight. You're just living in a buzz of life. "Now Children. I think Heisenberg was just about to tell us how he planned on helping us all." She says with a calm voice.
Yet Alcina isn't calming down, instead she's leaping from her seat. Slinging her words as if she's got her long claws out, ready for the fight of her life. "Mother Miranda, Heisenberg is a child, and his devotion to you is very questionable. Why would you listen to this manthing?" She's not looking at Mother Miranda; instead, her eyes are dull into Karl.
And Karl does love to fight with her. Loves to egg her on, as he is doing right now. He buzzes with life, and the toy is edging you closer to an edge you aren't sure you will be able to walk away from. You slink further into your chair and try to calm your breath as a shock wave of utter bliss runs through your body.
You squeeze your thighs tightly together, but your eyes are stuck on Karl. His hand reaches for his metal hammer, and his voice is loud, booming through the old church. "Shut up, you freaky tall bitch. You're just jealous that Mother Miranda prefers my brilliant ideas over yours. Just a sore bitchy loser." His words are venom, and his anger is fresh, but it only works in your favor.
Your head lulls back, and your legs shake a bit under pressure. You had broken utterly too soon. Little moans fall from your lips, and then everyone looks at you.
"Y/n?" Mother Miranda's voice echoes, pulling the two fighting lords apart. Karls's eyes land on you, and the anger fades into a hungry lust. He had forgotten about the toy and the bet, but he knew now that he had won again.
"I'm… I'm good, Mother Miranda, just tired of these two fighting. I suggest" you clear your throat, untangling your legs and smoothing your dress. "I suggest we see if we can pull some random hikers from the woods. If you're looking for more test subjects, that is." You say with some ease. Alcina has sat back down, and Kalr is still eyeing you, but you won't dare look at him.
She hums with acceptance of this new plan, "I think that is a wonderful idea. You'll be going out the mountains soon, then?" You hum and nod your head, feeling the stickiness of your release all over your thighs. "Then this meeting is finished." With that, she's gone into a few dozen crows, leaving the lords to leave the old church building.
It's not till after the two of you have arrived back at the factory does Kalr take pride that he had made you cum with just a little toy. "Did watching me get all anger edge, you, buttercup?" He says, his accent is thick in your ears. You shake and hum as his hands slide down your sides. "I think I like that." He mutters, "I think we'll have to try more than just that toy the next time we go out." He adds, looking rather smug as you had fallen apart before the rest of the lords. "You did look so pretty, trying to regain your focus. You liked it, didn't you?" He asks smugly.
You take a minute before answering his question with a smile. "Yes, I did." He smiles, lowering his glasses so you can see his beautiful eyes. "Then let's do another bet, buttercup."
Tumblr media
Completed on: 02/13/24
Posted on: 02/25/24
House Heisenberg-
102 notes · View notes