#gender clause

[cantheykillmacbeth]

Could Bad Wolf from Dr Who kill Macbeth? It is a woman who looked into the time vortex and became both omnipotent and omniscient?

Yes, Bad Wolf from Doctor Who could kill Macbeth!

Bad Wolf is "an entity that Rose Tyler briefly became after staring into the heart of the Doctor's TARDIS and directly into the Time Vortex." (Quote from tardis.wiki) While there is a strong (and honestly probably canonical) case that Rose Tyler and Bad Wolf are considered separate entities, Bad Wolf is still referred to exclusively with either she/her or it/its pronouns, applying Bad Wolf for the Gender Clause regardless.

When it comes to Bad Wolf's "birth," I would say that she does apply for Unconventional Birth Clause, but probably not Birth Parent Clause, as its creation was done by Rose Tyler (a woman) and the time vortex of the TARDIS (also considered a woman, or at least she/her, in the show).

Bad Wolf is also explicitly stated has having "fate manipulation" as part of her near-omnipotent arsenal, which would mean that Bad Wolf is probably our most solid example of a classic Unique Exception we've had so far.

Thank you for your submission!

-Mod Anthem

[ivorydragoness44]

Bernard the Elf x elf!Reader: Cider

Word Count: 479 Warnings/Notes: Gender neutral and elf reader, established relationship, nicknames, elf!reader is locked up in a cell within E.L.F.S. headquarters, crying, a tiny bit of angst (I swear there's a funny reason for this situation! 😅), and fluff. Summary: Bernard rushes to E.L.F.S. HQ upon the news of the elf!reader being taken there because of a not-so-nice reason.

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

  December, the height of the holiday season. And in the case of the North Pole, the busiest time of the year; the countdown to Christmas. Toys were still being made, painted, and accessorized for the big night. With that in mind, it was not a wonder as to why the head elf Bernard was anxiously rushing toward the E.L.F.S. headquarters.

  The main door to the E.L.F.S. headquarters swung open, and by the hesitant relief on the elves’ faces, you knew exactly who had walked in. The specific frantic steps from his boots entered your ears and you turned around on the bench. You could not face him. The pit of your stomach hung heavy as if struck by a dense fruitcake. And as you heard him speak, you huddled even tighter to yourself.

  “Have they served their time?” Bernard asked of the elves.   “Yes,” they replied, but sighed. “But they are taking it a lot harder on themselves than we ever could.”   Bernard’s brows scrunched beneath his curly locks. “What are they in for?”   “Shoving mistletoe up another elf’s nose.”   Bernard gasped and turned to see your shoulders quaking in your sobs behind the licorice barred cell.   “I had too much cider,” you cried.   Stepping close to the sugary bars, he asked further, but to you. “But why’d you do it?”   Recalling the encounter to vividly, you responded honestly. “They kept saying that the best Christmas song was Baby It’s Cold Outside. Insistently,” you sobbed in your sleeves. “I’m the poster-elf for the Naughty List!”

  Most of the elves in the room winced and looked to the Head Elf hopefully.   “We’re releasing them under your good authority and…for the sake of our ears, please.”   “I’ll take care of everything,” he assured with a nod.

  They unlocked the door of licorice and looked over your hunched form. “You’re free to go.”   Head low, you walked out of the cell quietly and followed beside Bernard out of E.L.F.S. HQ. The walk remained silent all of the way to your shared home.

  As soon as Bernard closed the door, tears began again. Taking you gently into his arms, he tried to console you.   “You’re alright, sugarplum.”   “I’m over a thousand years old,” you sniffled, “I should know better.”   “You do,” he soothed. “You are just a very passionate elf. And I love you for that.”   You looked up at him with shimmering eyes. “You do?”   “Of course I do. I really do.” He kissed your forehead sweetly. “You’re my gumdrop.”   The tears welling up turned to those of joy as you smiled at your husband of a few hundred years. “Sugarpie,” you awed as the pair of you gazed at one another adoringly.   “Maybe lay off on the cider for a while,” Bernard suggested, and you could not agree more.   “Yeah…”

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

Thank you for reading!

For more fanfiction, head over to the pinned post on my blog.

[chmarzity]

Everyone talks about Legolas but this was the only elf I had a crush on growing up

[ex3unt-omn3s]

Ti's the season and what not, Bernard season

[ssadumba55]

House Arrest (Bernard x Reader)

Originally Posted On Wattpad November 25, 2017 Summary: Takes place during The Santa Clause 2. Bernard is placed under house arrest and you pay him a little visit

You were probably the most clumsiest elf in the whole North Pole. Not to mention, mostly everyone knew you almost had as short a temper as the head elf himself, Bernard. So when "Santa" decided it was time to "follow the rules" and give all the kids coal, you were furious.

"That's ridiculous. You're ridiculous!" You cried and everyone, even Bernard, stared at you. You glared at the fake Santa.

"You know what's ridiculous? These kids deserving toys!" He snapped back and ordered his giant toy soldiers to capture you. Bernard immediately stepped up.

"WAIT! He's not the real Santa guys! He's a fake! He's just plastic!!!!" The head elf called waving his arms around like a lunatic. You turned surprised. The soldiers were ordered to grab Bernard instead. You watched as they grabbed your Head Elf and walked off.

You turned menacingly to Toy Santa.

"HE WAS OUR HEAD ELF!!" You cried in horror and Toy Santa snorted.

"We don't need a Head Elf, silly girl. And unless you want to end up like him I'd curb your temper." He instructed which made you even more furious. How dare he?

The rest of the day was spent working on coal. Who knew making lumps of coal could be more work than making toys? You certainly hadn't. You worried about Bernard, who apparently had been put on house arrest. How was he doing all alone in his house? Was he lonely? Bored? Angry? Your mind slipped and as a result you dropped the lump of coal you were working on and it rolled across the floor causing another elf to trip over it and fall into another elf which soon ended up being elf dominoes. You immediately went red as a not so happy Toy Santa approached you.

"Nice going, Nimble fingers. Now look what you've done.. Take the rest of the night off. I don't care where you go just don't come back here." The "man" insisted and you dropped your tools. Tears formed in your eyes, as you raced out of the workshop.

That's not Santa... Santa would never say those things... You tried to comfort yourself but it didn't work. You knew you were clumsy but you had never done something like this before. Wait. Why were you crying? You wiped your eyes.

"This is stupid. He's not even Santa. He has no right to boss me around." You declared to the wintery night. "Maybe I'll visit Bernard and see how he's doing."

You walked across the town to what you knew was the Head Elf's home. You had never been here before but you had seen Bernard, Curtis, Santa and many other elves walk in and out constantly. You had never worked up the nerve to talk to Bernard much less go to his house.. Your silly schoolgirl crush always got the best of you. You approached the door, eyeing the toy soldiers stationed on either side. They didn't bother you so you hesitantly knocked.

The door was pulled open just a crack and half of Bernard's face could be seen through the crack. You gave him a weak smile and he hesitantly opened the door a bit more.

"Uh, (Y/N) hi uh what're you doing here... Shouldn't you be making coal for... Santa?" He choked out the word Santa and you winced.

"No, um, he kicked me out because I... I knocked a bunch of elves over." You blushed as you recounted the events and Bernard laughed heartily. He was used to your antics.

"Oh! I should've invited you in, pardon my awful manners." He moved over to allow you entrance to his home. You stepped in and he closed the door quickly behind you.

"I'm sorry he kicked you out." Bernard stated awkwardly and you shrugged.

"Where is the real Santa, Bernard?" You asked him, changing the subject and Bernard went red.

"Well uh you see Santa had business with Charlie to attend to and he, uh, well the Toy Santa was Curtis' idea. I told them it was a bad idea but they never listen!!" Bernard rambled and you giggled. He stopped and turned to look at you.

"What?" He asked, noticing your giggling.

"You. It's not as hard to talk to attractive elves as I thought." You replied honestly and Bernard opened his mouth to reply, then closed it not knowing how to reply. He stood there for a few moments, speechless.

"You... You think I'm attractive? Like... Good looking?" He asked, bewildered and you shrugged.

"Uh.. Yeah. I think you're a nice looking elf. I used to stare at you and that's why I never met my daily quota of toys and oh my god I just said all that to you!!! Bernard, I mean, I'm not a stalker I just-" Bernard laughed. You tilted your head to the side in confusion and he chuckled.

"You're cute when you're confused." He stated. You took a moment to assess what he said and then looked at him with wide eyes. You pointed to yourself.

"Me. You're calling me... Cute?" You asked shocked and Bernard looked confused.

"Um yes? Is that bad? Or...?" He trailed off and you laughed.

"No Bernard it's just... I've never been called cute before." You explained quickly and Bernard seemed to relax, knowing what he said hadn't made you angry.

You and Bernard stood quietly for a while until the door was yanked open by some random elf.

"Bernard! (Y/N)! Come quick, Santa's back!" The girl called and you turned to Bernard a big grin on your face. Bernard ran out the door followed by you. A bunch of other elves were running too... And then you had lost Bernard.

You stood near the back of the group of elves as you watched Santa go and catch Toy Santa. Then, Bernard ordered everyone outside and that's when the attack against the toy soldiers began. You didn't join in.

I'd just trip over my shoes and embarrass myself if I tried, you thought. A hand on your shoulder snapped you out of your thoughts. You turned and there was Bernard.

"Hey.. Why aren't you joining in?" He asked smiling gently. You shrugged.

"Not the fighting type... Plus I'd end up tripping over myself. I'm not that graceful." You explained and Bernard nodded in understanding. The two of you stood silently and watched the other elves fight as Santa and Toy Santa came hurling to the ground.

While Toy Santa was being taken care of, Bernard turned to you.

"This is the part where in the workshop Santa, or Scott, will propose to Carol in the workshop. If she says yes, he gets to stay Santa Clause. If not, then we get a new Santa I guess." Bernard explained as the two of you stared at the workshop.

"Are we going to go watch?" You asked curiously and Bernard shrugged.

"I mean we could... But I have a better way to spend our time." Bernard replied with smiling and you tilted your head to the side, confused. Bernard took your hand into his, pulling you a bit closer.

"You're cute when your confused." He whispered and then he closed the gap between you two, pressing his lips to yours. You were surprised at first but wrapped your arms around his neck as his found your waist. When the two of you pulled away for air, you giggled, running your hands along his face.

"I guess it's truly isn't that hard to talk to attractive people... Or kiss them." You added and he laughed.

"You're attractive too you know." He replied nuzzling his head into your hair and you laughed.

"Prove it."

"Ok but don't say I didn't warn you!"

He then proceeded to drag you back to his home where... Love making happened. THE END!

[popculturegenderenvy]

Gender Envy of Today

(day 9)

Jack Frost from The Santa Clause 3

(apologies for missing a day. Life has been wild)

[latinthusiast]

r/latin is having a pearl-clutching contest over some changes that they're making to the script for Oxford's Latin graduation program

i'm so sick of being in a field that's full of unimaginative reactionaries it's so annoying omg

[dustin-but-gayer]

I am the bravest man in the world, I am so big and strong and I follow through with things I both want and need because I'm a man <- chickened out of sending an email to start the process for top surgery for the 3rd time

[cantheykillmacbeth]

Could Danny Phantom kill MacBeth?

While I couldn't find anything that implied Danny Fenton could circumvent Macbeth's prophecy, Danielle "Dani" Fenton from Danny Phantom definitely could!

She's a clone of Danny created by Vlad Plasmius, meaning she applies for Gender Clause, Unconventional Birth Clause, and Birth Parent Clause!

If Danny applies for anything, it's most likely going to be Unique Exception, considering the fact that his list of powers and abilities is longer than most high school essays, and there is a very real possibility that I missed something that could make his case, but unless somebody brings a detail forward, I'll be counting Danny himself as not being able to kill Macbeth.

Thank you for your submission!

-Mod Anthem

[ghostsofwintersnight]

Bernard the elf is queer and trans, he told me himself

[ssadumba55]

God of Turtles (Bernard x Reader)

Originally Posted On Wattpad December 18th 2016 Summary: Bernard the Elf (from Santa Clause) X Reader Something random me and a few friends came up with. Might write more for Bernard if I feel inspired.

It was Christmas Eve and you were all alone in the North Pole. You were a researcher and you had been studying the North Pole for quite some time. You were lost now. You had wandered too far from the research station and ended up in a endless snowy desert. You wished you could've gone home for Christmas, You missed your family and your friends. The wind was picking up a bit and you shivered. The more time you spent out here the more you felt the bitter cold eating away at your skin. You let out another exhausted sigh wishing you could at least be back at the research station curled up alone with a Christmas movie. Just then, your legs gave out under you and you collapsed onto the snowy ground. Not caring if you lived or died, just being thoroughly exhausted, you closed your eyes and let sleep overtake you.

~Timeskip to you waking up~

Your eyelids slowly opened and you found yourself in a nice looking unfamiliar room. Remembering what had happened you wondered where you were and who had found you. You sat up quickly, but a voice from beside you warned you not to.

"You should really rest.... You were pretty frost bitten... I'm surprised you aren't.." He cut himself off and you looked at him curiously. He was a bit shorter than you, but you had always been a rather short person. He had nice brown eyes, pointy ears and his hair and clothes were really weird. You smiled tilting your head.

"Thanks for rescuing me.. I'm (Y/N)." You told him, wondering who he was. He smiled.

"No problem. I am Bernard. I'm an elf here at the workshop." He explained and you looked at him confused.

"W-workshop?" You asked and he chuckled. Standing up he approached the side of your bed.

"This is Santas workshop, my dear. And when you're feeling better maybe I'll show you around." He suggested as your eyes widened as big as saucers. Santa's Workshop? Wow... You nodded up at him eagerly and he chuckled.

"Get some sleep kiddo." He instructed and you immediately did as you were told falling into the bed and closing your eyes.

~Timeskip to a week later~

It had been a week since you met Bernard and since then you had met Santa himself and all his reindeer and other elves. You liked to hang around and follow Bernard. Bernard acted annoyed but you secretly thought he liked the attention. The two of you seemed to be really close. So when Bernard approached you as you were petting the reindeer, you thought nothing of it.

"(Y/N) I need to show you something important..." He trailed off and you smiled gesturing for him to lead the way. He led you out of the workshop and across Santa's village to where you had seen his house before. He stopped at the doorway.

"Don't think I'm weird for this okay...?" He asked and you nodded kindly. How could you think anything sweet Bernard did was weird? He opened the door and you two walked in greeted by a bunch of turtles (all the turtles looked and stood and talked like Franklin).

"I'm their God." Bernard spoke up and you raised your eyebrow.

"Their God?" You snorted and he blushed.

"You think it's weird don't you?" He asked looking away. Immediately your expression softened.

"No. I think it's adorable." You said and he looked up at you surprised still blushing.

At that moment, the turtles began to sing:

"There you see her, Sitting there across the way, Possible she wants you to, There is one way to ask her.

Don't take no words, Not a single word, Go on and Kiss the Girl."

You and Bernard blushed as the turtles sang. You felt a warmth in your stomach. Bernard took a deep breath and he went in, kissing you. You kissed back with passion and the two of you shared the kiss as the turtles, in the shape of a heart, sang "aaaah".

You pulled away and pressed your forehead to his. This was love.

~Timeskip to a year later~

You and Bernard stood across from each other at your wedding, a turtle named Dion was the priest. A turtle named Gary was the best man and one named Misty was the Bridesmaid. In the audience sat more turtles, your family, Santa, Charlie, Curtis and more elves.

"You may now kiss the bride!" Dion announced and Bernard leaned in kissing you for the first time as a married couple.

After the reception, Bernard turned to you.

"Want me to show you my magical reindeer now?" He asked winking and you giggled.

"I will ride it all night long baby." And the two lived happily ever after.

[werewolf-femboy-maid]

guys straight up I just like :"0

dude like uh just..... so I was sitting here right? after I changed into pajamas and got a good piano playlist on and I had the 4th gif on. and like im gonna go to the bathroom and I was like oh im gonna eat my yummy tomato sardines from the phillipenes later after I go to the bathroom!! yummy!!! I never tried before sounds so good.

um and then I spat out my gum because I wanted to let my palate rest for a little, so I sat down and spat out my gum and started eating the week old Christmas treats on my desk. that had been out the whole time. there are multiple flies in my room. ive accepted the present and anticipate the future. I SUCCESSFULLY PUT CLITHES IN THE CLOSET IMMEDIATELY AFTTER CHANGINT!!

but ANYWAYA

was sitting and eating the treats and I saw the present thats just been sitting there on my desk that I forgot about. I just never considered opening it until now...

I didnt even know who it was from. I was quite curious. the mood was quite perfect with the piano music...

I looked at the Christmas card that was attached to the shiny purple ribbon. I looked at it and it was nice on the front very good and had a lot of houses in 3d on the front just sticking out. it was nice it had snow and it was night time.

I finally opened the card. it said "from Santa and everyone else" 2024...

it was from 2024... "huh... I guess Santa gets forgetful too... lolol"

and the back of the card it said thoughtfully designed by Charlotte Evans

nice stuff it even said on the top what the default message inside is. it said merry Christmas and a happy new year

any way I got to opening the present. finally... I opened the wrap (lmao I thought it was a white background with Christmas trees but no its a red background with green and purple and white shapes and individual letters) and I saw... a book... a thick book with thick pages but was light... cardboard pages with rounded edges...

I got to the corner of the back... kittens... HUH?????? a bunch of kitty books? it seemed like the back of a children's book series advertising the other ones...??? oh dear did Santa put me on his special ed list...? lololol...

I opened the front.

I stared at the book for a few seconds, completely motionless, before my eyes had to piss a relatively plentiful amount. I silently let the tears go ahead and do their thing. the chemicals in my mind, the grief the anger, every tear helped it a little. the loneliness. the inevitable loneliness that makes companionship so necessary to society. as much as self relfection.

it had a little boy on an elephant; it was a bright blue day. it said, in a nice cursive ish font, "You're here for a reason"

thats what got me man. thats why privilege is something that does need to be talked about. the separation of families is one of the first attacks of any serious threat.

momoslimes_ on ig

[pomefioredove]

can I request house wardens + leech twins with a reader who doesn't eat enough bc Crowley doesn't give them enough for food, and they end up really ill and collapsing or something. I'm cravin some fluffy comfort rn, pls and thank you 🙏

I got you🫡🫡 as someone who's been through an eerily similar situation, I really liked this request

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ another crowley moment™️

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, floyd, jade, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, mentions of food and not eating

Riddle wouldn't even have to like you to rush to your side. but he does like you, which makes it all the worse

after checking your vitals, you're in the infirmary. he's got doctors for parents, after all, and he knows that malnutrition is bad

he should have seen the signs...

with exams coming, he's been so busy, and he assumed that you were just tired from studying

but he can feel guilty later. right now, he needs to focus on you getting well again, and not killing Crowley

(then, of course, he'll look for some legal statute or clause that he can threaten Crowley with so you're fed properly)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona noticed you'd been acting a little weird lately, but watching you collapse still puts him in shock

luckily, Ruggie and Jack are nearby to help you to the infirmary, so Leona can focus on hunting Crowley down like an animal

there are very few times where Leona is particularly grateful for his status, but this is one of them. just one word on how his family will be hearing about Crowley's neglect, and the old bastard is begging him for forgiveness

even after that, Leona still sends Ruggie with snacks and drinks to Ramshackle

and if you ever scare him like that again, you'll regret it (lovingly)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

the news of you collapsing during flight lessons reaches Octavinelle rather fast. no one is particularly surprised, since Floyd had mentioned how easily you'd been bruising lately just the night before, but everyone is certainly worried

Azul is the first at your side, asking you all sorts of questions, worried sick. Jade has to remind him to give you space to rest, since you look exhausted (had you always had those dark circles? how could Azul have not noticed?)

now, Azul and the tweels could easily find a way to pressure Crowley, but they know better than to trust him

from now on, you'll be eating in the Mostro Lounge, free of charge

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

perhaps Kalim was just oblivious, because he really didn't think anything was wrong until you were suddenly on the floor in front of him

sure, you'd been a little moody lately, but he figured it was just a thing you were going through. and besides, you know that you can talk to him about anything... right?

Jamil hurries to check your pulse, and shouts for him to get the school nurse- which is jarring, because Jamil never shouts

when you explain everything to Kalim later, he feels... terrible. he should've known- no, he should've asked

Kalim insists you stay at Scarabia while you're recovering, and makes sure you have the most enriching, delicious meals money can buy

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil knew it was bad, but not this bad. if he had known you were on the verge of collapsing, he would've taken a firmer approach to getting you to eat

you're going to worry him to death someday, you know that?

after he's done verbally eviscerating Crowley, he'll insist on joining you at every meal. he'll eat at Ramshackle, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, if that's what it takes

he's subtle about it, at least

if he notices that your plate feels empty, he'll just take some food from his and put it on yours. gracefully, elegantly, without a word

you'll come home one day to see your kitchen stocked with vitamins, supplements, and apples (courtesy of Epel)

<3 and a note that says he'll treat you to dinner whenever you want

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

never scare Idia like that ever again. he wasn't even with you when you collapsed, and he STILL nearly had a heart attack

listen, he knows he's not a great role model when it comes to nutritional eating, but you have got to tell him these things. he would've had Ortho go get takeout! or something!

typical Crowley behavior, SMH. what does he think you are? a rabbit? even the school horses get treated better...

no way that Idia is going to even bother with that old fart, anyway. you want something? he'll get it for you. you don't even have to ask, he'll just send food to your place (and have Ortho check your vitals more often but shhh)

*ੈ✩‧₊��

I would not want to be in the room when Malleus finds out about this

not even the building. you know what? I'd steer clear of the whole island, because it will not be pretty

when you collapse in front of him, it feels like he's dying, too. the panic sets in, and he sends Lilia to look after you, and Silver and Sebek to escort you to the infirmary, and then he casually threatens to smite Crowley. obviously

if the students and staff of NRC thought Malleus was scary just being Malleus, he's terrifying when he's mad

(rest assured that you will be getting ten times the amount of food from now on)

it's thunderstorms for days after, but he never leaves your side

[lesbianralzarek]

stumbled across this card on scryfall and oh boy is it a doozy

so. the updated wording of the card (most importantly "gender" and "as you cast") makes this potentially the funniest card in the game rules-wise. no judge has weighed in on it (probably because its an old card out of print and not legal in any format) but it begs the question

what happens if someone comes out as trans in response?

i would love to know from a judge 1) if a players gender is hidden information (and, if so, what zone (if any) its in), 2) if coming out is a special action (similar to taking off your pants to dodge denimwalk) that doesnt use the stack, cannot be responded to (can you fucking imagine getting countered on that?), and can be done whenever the player has priority, and 3) if the reveal affects the "as you cast" clause

[jelreth]

adrien agreste could kill macbeth,... couldnt he ?