#gay people? in medieval Britain? more likely than you think.

[thatmoththoth]

“I often see them walking through the castle halls. Something is quite odd about the lords of the manor. Portraits of Jon always make me feel like the painting is watching me, and whenever I try to talk to Martin he always manages to disappear.”

Designed their outfits for the medieval ages. They see their own outfits in this au so ofc Jon gets a cool eye cloak that he’s definitely keeping forever since Martin made it for him. I’m still working on the explanation of why they are Lords during feudal England, so for now they just are lol.

Here’s the drawing without the fog btw

[cruelsister-moved2]

yaaay thank you @jaggerbowiesextape <333!!!

last read

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin The thing I forget every time I read her is I don't start to really care about the book until like 60% through but I guess the last 40% is usually worth it. For me it gains a star for the unexpected Martin Buber reference but loses one for the fact they didn't have gay sex in a tent while traversing the icy wasteland together </3

A Dreamer's Tales by Lord Dunsany I am a dunsanator but this was honestly his worst so far like more self-conscious than his earliest but less sophisticated than his later work.

The Trembling of the Veil by W.B. Yeats Constantly had me wanting to google trembling of the veil ending explained and kind of made me wish I did more drugs.

currently reading

Laurus by Eugene Vodolazkin (trans. Lisa Hayden) I'm only 4% in but I think this might be the best book ever it's so beautiful.

A Swim in a Pond in the Rain: In Which Four Russians Give a Master Class on Writing, Reading, and Life by George Saunders Listening as an audiobook and the narrators are very fun and Saunders is a great orator. Mixed feelings on the craft talks, some of the points made are a bit too steeped in MFAology for me PERSONALLY.

Tales of the Hasidim: The Later Masters by Martin Buber Beautiful philosophy, folklore, theology, oral history in one. Some tzaddikim are less inspiring than others but the politicking and drama is part of the fun. Cringe when the translation says stuff like 'sabbath bread' but I'm being so brave about it. Also it has a beautiful cover<3 i got my copy for £7 at a used bookstore and just found out it goes for like £50 online so now I feel bad for folding over pages -_- Someone's written in my copy but it's only on one page and it's the name of a specific tzaddik they've underlined and put two big ticks around and wrote 'LEADER' adhfdihfafd

next up

wild: tales from early medieval britain by amy jeffs a la ezra, starting the world's smallest gayest book club out here

I don't usually think that far ahead because it depends what kind of mood I'm in when I finish a current book. I have some re-reads in mind and a ton of non-fiction I want to get to. Maybe the way spring arrives and other stories by Yu Chen (translated by a team of women and nonbinary people) if I'm in a short fiction mood! TAG @steeleyespan @mogblin @halomit @berrytart @37q @nutongzhi sorry i only tagged people who have recommended me books before so i know you read but im soooo serious if youre an oomf who reads i would love you to tag me in yours i want to see 🥺

[spectrumed]

17. liberation

On occasion, it strikes me how different the experience must be for today’s gay teenagers, compared to what it is was like for gay people my age when we were teenagers some ten plus years ago. Oh, I may be a withered and decrepit thirty-year-old, but I do like to imagine that I am not all too removed from my adolescent years. Though, when I see the teenagers of today eagerly discussing their LGBTQ+ identities, with neither shame nor hesitation, I feel positively ancient. Back in my days, being labelled as gay was comparable to in medieval times being labelled as a leper. Certainly, the gay liberation movement was in full swing, and our teachers would routinely remind us that making fun of gay people was no longer acceptable in the new millennia. “I am sure Daniel is not gay, but even if he is, there’s nothing wrong with being gay, so don’t make fun of Daniel for being gay, okay? I mean, yeah, he does look kinda gay, but it’s fine if he is gay, so if you’ve gotta make fun of him, make fun of him for wearing glasses or for having red hair. Remember, students, it’s okay to be gay.”

Teenagers tend to be opportunistic bastards, and if they sense that there’s some taboo inherent in a word, they will latch onto it. If calling someone gay made the teachers cross, then that must mean there’s something bad about being gay. “Are you gay, or what?” became the preferred way to degrade your classmates. Anything could make you gay. Being smart, being dumb, being fat, being skinny, dressing nice, dressing poorly, liking boys, liking girls, anything could count towards you being gay. Today people play multiplayer games where certain players take on secret roles, and it is up to the other players to figure out who’s the secret imposter. Well, I don’t much enjoy those kinds of games, because that was my high school experience, and I didn’t much enjoy high school. Really, being gay had nothing to do with whether or not you were same-sex attracted. The problem with being gay, according to our loutish teenage minds, was not that same-sex relationships were icky, but rather, we were acutely aware that being gay meant that you were an outsider, a weirdo. Someone on the periphery of society. Being gay meant that you could never be normal, and thus, if anyone of us was secretly gay, that had to be figured out, so that we could adequately ostracize that person and make sure that they were never truly integrated into our little social group.

I was terrified of anyone figuring out that I was gay. I’m not gay. I’m way into ladies to be gay. Not even bisexual. The only way I could imagine myself dating another man, I’d prefer for that man to be much shorter than me and for that man to dress androgynously, preferably in dresses and wear make-up and have breasts. I think it is safe to say that I am by no means attracted to men, but still… I knew that was weird, and as such, I was terrified they might think I was gay. As a teenager, I felt like an imposter, and unlike what certain games would like you to believe, being an imposter is no fun.

Has gay liberation been a success? While there are some big notable exceptions, (looking at you, Russia. If you’re reading this Putin, shame on you,) it is rather impressive how fast the normalisation of homosexuality has been. We’re at the point now where older gays often grumble about how the young gays of today lack the proper amount of respect for their elders, and I can’t think of a more perfect expression of societal normality than that. If gay folks now take it for granted that they have the rights that they have, I don’t necessarily consider that to be a bad thing. Yes, I think we should all take the time to count our blessings, and be thankful for the generations that came before us, but surely it is unbelievably positive that so much progressive change has happened over just a few decades. Certainly, it’s unspeakably frustrating to see how trans rights are now being contested (looking at you, Britain. If you’re reading this The Guardian, shame on you,) but overall, the model of the gay liberation movement seem to have worked. Is there any way we could apply the same strategy to other minority groups?

I am conflicted when it comes to most neurodiversity activists. On one hand, yes, I am absolutely convinced that if it weren’t for our society’s inherent stigma against those who happen to function neurologically differently, then the suffering experienced by those with autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, bipolarity, etc., would likely be much minimised. The continued ostracization of those who are different, the weirdos of this world, creates an environment that can best be described as Kafkaesque. You exist within a half-state where you are told to contribute to your community, while at the same time you’re being told you are unable to contribute to your community. It is especially strange, for many of us, to hear society peddle this cliché of “just be yourself and things will work out,” when you’ve been told that your natural behaviour is a little too much and it would be for the best if you were to tone it down, just a little. “Be yourself, but not like that. Be yourself based on how I imagine yourself to be.”

On the other hand, some people have it worse than I. I’m high-functioning. Now, I know that certain individuals find the terms “high-” and “low-functioning” to be problematic. I tend to disagree, as I find these terms useful on a purely pragmatic basis, but I acknowledge that I could be wrong in this. Still, I try to keep in mind that when I am speaking about autism, I am speaking from the perspective of only a subsection of the autistic population. At times, I fear discussing my own experiences with autism, in the eventuality that some were to interpret my words as me attempting to explain the total experience all autistic people face. I cannot speak on behalf of all who happened to have received this diagnosis, indeed, I dread the thought of being put in that position.

As the readers of this blog undoubtedly are aware of, autism comes with a spectrum. The myriad of ways that autism can manifest itself varies from person to person, and those difficulties that I face, may not be as much of a concern for others who place elsewhere on the spectrum. On the whole, I would consider myself mostly at peace with my condition. Overall, I value the positive aspects that come with my autism higher than I fear the more negative aspects. If there is an enemy in my mind, it is my anxiety, my obsessive-compulsive tendencies. There’s a flurry of thoughts swirling in my head making it occasionally difficult for me to think in a straight line. At least not without soon feeling weary and awfully inadequate. At times I get stuck in these thought loops that I can’t help but repeat to myself, over and over, never feeling as if I’ve managed to successfully think the thought right. Yes, it is preposterous, but that’s OCD for you.

I’m certainly sensitive to loud sounds. I’ve experienced overstimulation in the past. But it does tend to pass relatively quickly. I get headaches, which is naturally no fun, but when bombarded with a lot of noise, I can still get by. And the joy I get from listening to pleasant sounds, music especially, fills me with such radiating euphoria that I am utterly baffled by those who claim to not care much about music. Music has the wondrous quality of at the same time being calming and stimulating. Listening to music puts me in a state of meditation. I am a believer in the positive results of regular meditation, but I can not easily meditate. Again, the obsessive tendencies of my mind makes it difficult for me to reach any kind of peace without something to keep the chaos within occupied. This is where “stimming” comes in, a term you may be familiar with if you’ve spent any time reading about autism online. Some repetitive movement of the body to keep you anchored and focused. I usually tap my leg or rub my finger together. I am fairly lucky in that my version of stimming is mostly normalised by society. Plenty of people bounce their legs any time they sit down on a chair. Perhaps they get accused of being impatient, or possibly worst of all, they may get accused of being drummers.

Sure, I tend to struggle with making close personal contacts. I am not a man of many friends. But I am friendly enough, and in most social situations I tend to shine. I like to think of myself as being adequately charming and even charismatic. I’ve certainly been told that I am, having had many people in my life enthuse about how good of a conversationalist I can be. I do not fear public speaking, in fact, I revel in it. So, I suppose on that basis, I do not exhibit many of those stereotypes associated with autism. Indeed, this is a major reason why I am so sceptical towards the terms “introversion” and “extroversion.” After all, I am extremely introverted, while also being extremely extroverted. These terms are just another example of how the spectre of Jung has come to define the popular conception of the mind and it seems unlikely we’ll ever truly be free from his pseudo-mystical take on psychology. In any case, the point I wish to make is that I do not struggle with making myself understood by others. In some ways, I have the best of both worlds. I can both find comfort when placed in groups, and also when I am on my own. I’m lucky.

It is natural that many stigmatised minority groups should be looking towards the gay liberation movement and consider the lessons that can be learned from it. But we must also be conscious of the fact that different minorities face different challenges. There aren’t all that many shades or levels to being gay. You’re either gay, or you’re not. Bears are not more or less gay than twinks, and for the most part, any old gay guy can adequately explain what it means to be gay without utterly failing to get to the core of it. Homosexuality is not a difficult concept to grasp, it does not manifest itself as a wide spectrum of behaviour. You’re homosexual if you’re same-sex attracted, and that’s it. All that other stuff, the pageantry of the pride festivals or the gay clubs that people get hung up about has more to do with a particular subculture than the sexual orientation itself. It is certainly part of the gay experience, but it is not what homosexuality is. To be a gay man is simply to engage in the act of loving another man. What the gay liberation movement did was convince society that same-sex relationships were quite fine, actually. Even wholesome. Naturally, it wasn’t easy. There have been protests and there have been riots. But I dare say that once the phenomenon of a man being in a relationship with another man started becoming a common sight on the television, the normalisation process took off like a big fat rocket. Gay people could suddenly make it in the mainstream.

Let’s say I get to write my own sitcom for a popular television channel. I want there to be some autism representation in the show, so I decided to make one of the main characters autistic. Now, the question is how should I go about making them autistic? I can certainly model them after myself, that would be more than reasonable, but as I’ve made it clear earlier in this post, I don’t necessarily come across as the most typical autistic person. I’m unfamiliar with some of the experiences other people with autism consider to be key to their understanding of what autism is. So am I obliged to create a character that goes beyond my own lived experience, to start incorporating the experiences of others? If I just made the character a reflection of me, would that character be a good representation of autism, or just the particular case of autism that I happen to have? Should I try to cover as much ground as possible, by adding in more typical traits of autism that I myself happen to not experience as much? After all, I want to make a difference, and I want autistic persons watching the show to feel as if I’ve fully captured what it means to have autism. But, sooner or later, in my quest to be as comprehensive as possible, I find myself having created just the most abysmal caricature of an autistic character, one with so many disparate characteristics that now no-one watching the show can relate to them.

It is hard to convey what autism is without launching into some hour-long lecture. And I am sure that no matter how I write the character, there’s bound to be a legion of armchair diagnosticians watching the show at home unaware of my status as an autistic writer, accusing me of relying on poorly-researched and offensive stereotypes. And I know the frustration in having to explain to others how just ‘cause you’re not all that similar to some famous autistic character in a book or a movie or a show or a game that doesn’t mean that you’re not actually autistic. “But you don’t struggle with understanding sarcasm, so surely you’re not really all that autistic?” Yes, well, some people with autism do struggle with understanding sarcasm, for me it happens to be easier, but it’s not all that relevant to what autism is and… sigh. Those discussions can go on and on. There is no one way to be autistic, and that’s a large part of why mainstream society struggles to comprehend the condition, outside of a few flighty media archetypes. It just can’t be boiled down to just one easy comprehensible sentence.

It frustrates me seeing the efforts of some people trying to destigmatize neurodivergent behaviour by fetishizing those behaviours. Oh, you know what I’m referring to, the kinds of people who try their best to make it seem all cool and radical to be neurodivergent. I understand the temptation, especially if you’re a younger person who recently got your diagnosis. You want to turn something that society perceives to be a weakness in you into a strength. But if I tell you that I’m autistic, I want neither your admiration nor your damnation. Love me or hate me based on my character, not my diagnosis.

Again, it is important for those of us who are perceived as being higher-functioning to understand that our experiences can differ from those who are perceived as being lower-functioning. While in weaker moments, I may wish to wear my autism with pride, even feel delight in reading lists of historical people speculated to have had autism and feeling a certain kinship with them. Maybe I can derive some self-worth from that. But I must remember that for many, they’d much rather not have the diagnosis at all. I could try to chastise them, to accuse them of being self-loathing, or allowing the stigma to get to them, but that would be an absolutely fruitless endeavour, and one that would erode my actual goal of making life overall better for anyone with a neuropsychiatric condition. I am not privy to their personal experiences, and I should not make the assumption that just because I’ve had it relatively easy, that is the experience of all people with autism. I may just be lucky, and I should be conscious of that.

Ultimately, while we may one day have our neurodivergent pride day, where neurodiversity is celebrated and brought into the fold of mainstream society, I am wary of those that try to simplify what it means to be neurodivergent in an attempt to make the process of normalisation go faster. We cannot allow this project to be led solely by the few of us lucky enough to find self-expression easy, those of us with prominent communication skills. We do not get to represent the whole group, and we do not get to act like captains, the arbiters of what the neurodivergent experience is like. I can only speak for myself and my own experiences. I seek personal liberation. I am autistic, but I am not all autistic people. I do not know if future generations will have it easier than my generation. Whatever state of liberty I seek, it may be that it will come tomorrow, or it may never come. I cannot pretend to know what it means for others to be autistic, when I do not myself know what it means for me to be autistic. I wish I had the easy answers to give as selling uncertainty is no easy feat. If we truly wish for the neurodivergent to be accepted, our hope is to one day be able to convince the mainstream that, when it comes to the mind, no singular experience can explain all of it.

[gringolet]

INTRO TO ARTHURIANA MASTERPOST

under the cut for absurd length

HOW TO GET STARTED WITH ARTHURIANA

The Arthuriana fandom is very broad and there's no one piece of media, which can be confusing for people just getting into it! There’s no right way to engage with arthuriana, and no minimum level of knowledge or reading you need to attain to qualify. 

The basis of the Arthurian Legend is a body of hundreds of texts written across the medieval and early Renaissance period in dozens of languages and cultural traditions. Which can seem pretty overwhelming, but there are a lot of modern vernacular translations-- you absolutely don’t have to learn old French or anything. I’ll go more in depth on where to get started with texts further down.

You also don’t have to read texts at all. As I said, there is no minimum basis-- if you prefer to engage with modern adaptations, or want to engage with medieval arthuriana outside of reading texts, that's also cool! 

In terms of modern adaptations there is a wealth of choices, which I am very much not an expert in lol, so I’m afraid I can’t give much in the way of reccs. Books I have heard good things about are, Exiled from Camelot, Idylls of the Queen, The Buried Giant, the Squire's Tale series, and Gawain by Gwen Rowley (warning that this one is apparently erotica? Good for him). I trust @princesslibs  for modern book reccomendations. and if you speak French Kaamelott is purportedly a very good tv show. Frankly no modern adaptation will ever be better than Spamalot to me, but that's just my personal take. 

If you are curious about engaging with texts but (understandably) don’t want to read a ton of dense medieval literature, one really cool resource is Norris J Lacy's New Arthurian Encyclopedia, which you can pick up at most used bookstores for under ten bucks. It’s a very thorough easy to look through reference of characters stories and texts. I know a lot of people like the Nightbringer wiki, though I personally am wary of it because it basically never cites sources. It’s a good quick reference though and a lot of people like it, I’d just take it with a grain of salt. Sparknotes also has a lot of summaries of the major texts like Le Morte D’Arthur and the romances of Chrétien De Troyes. You are not a fake fan for doing this I promise. And of course you’re always welcome to send me an ask <3 

Finally, getting started with texts. Quick glossary of terms:

--Verse Romance

    A verse (poem) story which can vary a great deal in length. These deal with the adventures of individual knights, usually Gawain, and tend to have a great deal of magical elements and the stereotypical monster slaying, questing, damosel rescuing knight adventures.

--Prose Novel or Romance

    A non poetic narrative, more like a modern novel, more likely to deal with the fall of Arthur, sword in the stone, Mordred, fall of Camelot sort of affair. They are usually quite long. Most famous of these are Le Morte D’Arthur and the French Vulgate, but there are a slew of late medieval Prose novels floating around. Eluding Rey.

--Pseudohistory

    I’m gonna b real these are boring I think. These are, as the name suggests, written as accurate depictions of history.  They very much are not, but they claim to be. Most famous of these is Jeffrey of Monmouth, Mr Jeff Mouth himself, and his History of the Kings of Britain, which I haven’t read because it bores me. You can if you want. It’s in Latin. Whatever. These tend to be some of the earliest texts, and include the “lives of saints” stories. Life of Gildas is the only funny one.

--Ballads

    These are only arguably texts, as most of them were written after the time of the “canon” being composed. But I like them. These are songs telling stories, recorded by people like Francis Child and Thomas Percy. They are very short and fun and include stories like The Boy and the Mantle, Kempion, and King Arthur and the King of Cornwall.

--Lai

    A specific type of French verse poem, usually quite short. The most famous collection of lais are those of Marie le France, including things like Bisclavret and Lanval. 

--Traditions

    Since Arthuriana was written all over, there are different literary traditions across time and space. The French tradition is one of the most famous, including works like the vulgate, Chretien and a lot of verse romances. The English tradition is one of the most influential on modern adaptations, including the Morte D’Arthur and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. There are also Welsh, German, Dutch, Hebrew, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Tagalog, Greek, Belarussian, Scottish, Irish, Breton, and probably even more. There’s a lot. It’s very cool and sexy.

A note that there is also a big tradition of Victorian revival Arthuriana. I wrote a starter guide to that here, it’s all very fun and like, aesthetic. 

Alright, now, which texts do you start with?

If you’re a little intimidated by long texts or medieval lit, starting with short verse romances in modern translation is a great place to start. These include Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, which is very good and gay and well known, Lancelot and the Hart With The White Foot, which is very good and gay and underappreciated, or Lanval, which is homophobic but funny. 

If you want to start with what is considered the oldest King Arthur Story, Culwch and Olwen is short and fun!

If you want to read about the grail quest, you can start where it started with Story of the Grail or Percival, then the four continuations, Essenbachs Parzival, the vulgate version of the Grail quest which you can buy paperback for like 5 bucks (I can also scan my copy for you just shoot me an ask <3)

If you want to read about the fall of camelot, I have the Vulgate death of Arthur section scanned here. There’s also the Alliterative and Stanzaic mortes, which are in middle English. I have scanned Simon Armitage's Alliterative Morte translation here. I’m working on my own translation of the Stanzaic but it’s not done lol. If you want the first third or so DM me lol. King Artus is very short and readable and it’s a Jewish text which is really cool.

If you want to read about Lancelot, Chrétien de Troyes Lancelot is his first text. He also has a whole long vulgate section, the first part is scanned here by val <3, and there's Lanzelet,  Sebile is in it so it’s probably very good. He’s also basically the main character of Le Morte D’Arthur which I might as well talk about here uhm. It’s long and fun in places and boring in others but it does have like the version most modern adaptations take from and tells the whole story of Arthur and Camelot from beginning to end. The Keith Baines version scanned by val is the most readable but it is an abridgement I believe. people who like le morte usually read this version so its probably the best choice lol

If you want to read about Gawain, good news! He’s in basically everything. Even texts that aren’t supposed to be about Gawain are doomed to become The Gawain Show Featuring The Protagonist Of This Text As A Sidekick. Which is so funny of him. The Roman Van Walewein is very funny and long and Gawain™. I also recommend, L’atre Perilous, Diu Krone, Sir Gawain and the Turk, and I could go on but for brevity's sake let's start there. 

If you want to read about Tristan, go shoot an ask to Valentine @lanzelet on tumblr because Tristan scares me. 

Thank you to rey @gawain-in-green for helping me find links and put this together! They are also a super great resource for stuff and very cool and nice <3 They have a tag on their blog for full text resources so deffo look at that if you want more scans and links, and an info tag and tons of cool shit that is way better organized than my blog lol

Okay finishing this off, if you want content warnings for any texts, feel free to shoot an ask! I know medieval lit can be A Lot and there aren’t a lot of good warning systems, so if I’ve read it or know someone who has I can give you warnings if you want to read something but are understandably wary . <3

In terms of tagging, Arthuriana and Arthurian Legend are the main ones on tumblr. Arthurian Mythology is also used but tbh shouldn’t be. On Ao3, we’re trying to get our own Arthurian Literature tag but <3 its a whole thing. Anyway the tag is Arthurian Mythology, but I’ll b real, it’s kind of flooded with stuff that doesn’t really belong there, because even though it’s a fandom tag other people unknowingly tag stuff as Arthurian Mythology when it’s like, a knight au. Which is not their fault bc it’s confusing but, ah, alas. ANyhow, feel free to drop in my inbox anytime with questions, suggestions, reccs, etc!

Okay godspeed!! Have fun reading, watching, browsing, etc! 

[qqueenofhades]

If Cursed had asked you, a medieval historian, what to do, what would you have told them?

Ahaha. Ahaha. Hah. Full disclosure, I know/knew absolutely nothing about the show apart from reading this horrible article, but methinks, enough to get a sense of it. And even without the author of this article wildly making up their Blackadder version of history (as my dearest and oh so correct @oldshrewsburyian​ put it yesterday), the quotes from the actors/producers/etc are just... they are just.... SO BAD.

Starring:

"But when we got into filming and the brutality, the mud, the bugs and the blood, I thought, 'I'm not sure I could handle this in reality'.

"I have a feeling I'd get sick and die pretty quick."

"I'd be dead," adds Frank Miller, very matter of fact.

"I mean it was a time of wild plagues and disease and they didn't have much use for people who do the kind of stuff I do."

Ah yes, medieval life. Mud, blood, bugs, and death. “Times of wild plague and disease,” unlike today, where we never have a problem with plague at all. And I’m sorry, the medieval world had no use for artists??? What are you even SMOKING MY DUDE MY BRO MY PAL (and if you don’t know this, WHY ARE YOU MAKING A MEDIEVAL SHOW SUPPOSED TO BE “ACCURATE?”) Have you LOOKED at ONE SINGLE MEDIEVAL MANUSCRIPT? HAVE YOU WALKED INTO A MEDIEVAL CATHEDRAL AND LOOKED AT THE STAINED GLASS WINDOWS? LOOKED AT ANY JEWELRY? ANYTHING?????

(Okay I gotta pace myself, there’s a lot to yell at here and it’ll take a while.)

"If I was living in that time, I think I would want to be a witch but you would stink," Devon Terrell, who's taking on the role, laughs.

As would most people, with a lack of basic sanitation and plumbing which meant human waste was often thrown out close to where you lived.

"And I like a good fairy tale but I wouldn't say I was longing for a time that was much less scientific. I'd probably get killed for heresy or something. I'm not great with authority or religious oppression and that sort of stuff. So, yeah, I don't think I'd fare too well."

There’s just... I don’t know where to even.... /SCREAMS

(And I even cut out the especially face-palming quote from the article about “thousands of people burning for heresy” in the 11th/12th century. “Much less scientific,” well, Roger Bacon’s brazen head just called AND IT THINKS YOU’RE A MORON, DEVON.)

The woman playing Morgana Le Fay talks about your life being “very short” and getting drowned as a witch and whatever Bad Guy Du Jour talks about having no dentists or medical care. We get the picture: they.... really did not do their homework. I’m not sure they even touched Google. So basically, we’d need to start by burning everything down and then asking if really, truly, do we NEED to make this adaptation. There are EIGHT THOUSAND MILLION GODFORSAKEN RETELLINGS OF ARTHUR/THE ROUNDTABLE RIGHT NOW. NOBODY NEEDS ANOTHER ONE! EVEN FOR WHATEVER PSEUDO-FEMINIST TAKE YOU SEEM TO BE TRYING TO PUT ON THIS ONE! ENOUGH! ENOOOOUGH! THINK OF SOMETHING DIFFERENT! THERE ARE SO MANY MEDIEVAL ROMANCES OUT THERE THAT DON’T GET MADE!!!

For example, you know what I would suggest? Bisclavret. Where is my lavish beautifully designed historical-medieval-fantasy queer werewolf romance, I ask you? (Answer: just like that novel I stumbled upon yesterday that decided to make some random Vatican maidservant into Cesare Borgia’s ~truest and purest love~, y’all are too cowardly to do it right.) YOU KNOW WHO WOULD LOVE THIS? THE GAYS! THE GAYS WOULD LOVE IT, PATRICIA! We have a central queer love story (Bisclavret and the king). We have a distinct physical and geographical setting (12th-century France). THE GODDAMN THING WAS WRITTEN BY A WOMAN! (Marie de France.) We could develop the character of Bisclavret’s wife and give her backstory and into a sympathetic and complicated but ultimately redeemed antiheroine, blackmailed by the male/patriarchal/heterosexual villains of the establishment, if y’all REALLY want to get into some subversive queerfem medievalism and not your little weaksauce Nimue in her polyester corset. We could LITERALLY MAKE A QUEER MEDIEVAL WEREWOLF ROMANCE WRITTEN BY A WOMAN!!! HOW ABOUT THAT YOU DINGDONGS?!!

You could decorate the sets beautifully by, I don’t know, LOOKING AT THOSE MEDIEVAL ARTISTS WHO SUPPOSEDLY DIDN’T EXIST. You could bring in other medieval monsters, such as walking corpses, and have brawny young men beating them to death with shovels (as various medieval chroniclers matter-of-factly report on). You could do something besides the TIRED ASS “superstitious peasants think woman with vague evidence of a personality must be a witch!!” You could ground your story in the vivid and colorful politics of 12th-century France and the underground queer life for people in Paris (MAKE PETER THE CHANTER THE FROLLO-ESQUE VILLAIN, I’M JUST SAYING!) EXPLORE THE METAPHOR OF QUEERNESS VIS A VIS MONSTROSITY WITH BISCLAVRET THE WEREWOLF! You could STOP ACTING LIKE GAME OF THRONES IS HISTORY AND “DIRTY PEOPLE IN TUNICS GETTING KILLED MEANS IT’S MEDIEVAL!!!”

/takes a deep breath

But alas. As established, they are Cowards. So, if we absolutely HAD to be lumbered with another goddamn Arthur adaptation:

STOP ACTING LIKE SOME RANDOM VAGUELY 12TH-CENTURY SETTING IS ~tHE hISToriCAl ArThUr!!~ IF HE EXISTED IT WAS IN LIKE 5TH-CENTURY POST ROMAN BRITAIN AND A) WE ALREADY HAD THE TEDIOUS BIG BUDGET “ACCURATE KING ARTHUR” WITH KEIRA KNIGHTLEY DRESSED IN WHATEVER THAT WAS, I’M GAY SO I’M NOT COMPLAINING THAT MUCH BUT ALSO ACCURATE MY CYNICAL LESBIAN BACKSIDE!

....where was I...

Ah yes. Post-Roman 5th-century Britain is A VERY DIFFERENT SETTING from the random-ass mishmash of “medieval” tropes you people seem to want to throw in. Or ANOTHER IDEA: junk the idea that “King Arthur” is ever going to be a remotely accurately represented historical concept, and just make it lavish, fantastic, magical, dark, and compelling without yoking yourself to the fuckin’ BORING ASS “must add mud and blood and suffering and misogyny for More Realism!” It’s FANTASY, TREAT IT LIKE FANTASY AND NOT HISTORY LIKE “A FAIRYTALE!” HOW ABOUT THAT IDEA?!?! AND MAYBE STOP ACTING LIKE YOU HAVE PRETENSIONS TO “tHe wAy it ReALLy wAs” because we have established YOU DO NOT!!!

(God Game of Thrones is the WORST, and you KNOW they’re doing this trying to be GoT-lite, and I.... /mutters incoherently)

OR MAKE ANY OTHER OF THE ARTHURIAN ROMANCES IF YOU REALLY HAVE TO DO A CAMELOT STORY! THERE ARE LIKE EIGHTY MILLION OF THEM! PICK A SIDE ONE WITH CHARACTERS THAT YOU CAN DO FRESH RATHER THAN THE ARCHETYPES THAT HAVE BEEN DONE TO DEATH!!! ACTUALLY ASK A MEDIEVAL LITERATURE EXPERT AND A MEDIEVAL HISTORIAN FOR ADVICE BEFORE YOU GET THIS FAR AND EMBARRASS YOURSELVES!!! (OR MAYBE SEVERAL OF THEM!!) ACTUALLY ACT LIKE REPRESENTING THE PAST AS A FULL AND COMPLEX AND BEAUTIFUL PLACE AS WELL AS A DARK AND DANGEROUS ONE CAN STRENGTHEN YOUR STORY AND DISPLAY HUMAN EXPERIENCE MORE ACCURATELY! RATHER THAN “HURR DURR DARK AGES” BECAUSE I AM TIRED!!!

TIRED!!!!

...Anyway. I clearly handled this well. Whew.

[jimmythejiver]

For the first time in a long time I went to the movies in forever and then to Target. At Target I see some Godiva bars on discount yellow tags and I was ecstatic until I read 70% Cacao, Dark, Salted Caramel and was deflated.

Anyway that's how I felt about seeing The Green Knight. What you thought this was about chocolate?

No see since the pandemic I've been back on my perennial King Arthur kick. I've for a long time since I was a young preteen thought, someday I too will write my own King Arthur epic and it'll be gay, magical, gangster and culty too, but for now I'll make up my own stories for practice and then with every story I got attached too, it got too involved and convoluted to the point that when it came down to actually writing a novel, I threw it all away and made a space opera I only planned in two weeks and wrote in a month. Anyway...so now I've been writing this very gay, magical, gangster and culty take on Final Fantasy XV with my boyfriend and just fell in love with Somnus Lucis Caelum who nobody has any insight about him than to make him the Mordred to Ardyn's Arthur, which is a strange flex, but okay, I thought about what if I wrote a Dark Age prequel about Ardyn and Somnus, but Ardyn becomes king and Somnus his shogun and they play games of seduction and power because I'm twisted like that. Anyway...I was like I'm never going to write this and I have to keep making up characters based on FFXV characters and King Arthur tropes because there's not a lot of stories that take place during the Dark Ages, it's always some Roman Empire story, or High Middle Ages and FFXV gave no room for either society to happen after the fall of Solheim and the rise of King Somnus...so we left with Dark Ages, y'all, the King Arthur comparisons are obvious, but Ardyn is no Arthur and Somnus is no Mordred, Aera is only Guenevere if you make up an affair with Somnus, Gilgamesh is no Bedwyr/Bedivere, but uh...they both amputees and the oldest companions to their respective kings so...I guess. Anyway making an ancestor of Cor Leonis and deciding well he's Owain/Yvain, or am Ignis type as idk Sir Cai/Kay I guess, they both cook, but Cai's more like Seifer Almasy than any FF character... Anyway I'm losing people.

My plan was to just scrap the FFXV prequel, leave my Somnus ideas into Overtime (a gangster and gods story) and just plan an actual King Arthur adaptation. I'd have King Arthur the treasure hunter, leader of a warband turned founder of Camelot who fights giants, giant cats and dogheads, but also fights King Claudas of the Franks and King Aelle of the Saxons and Cerdic a Briton who puts in his lot with the Saxons, etc. It'd been a a glorified turf war, meanwhile Arthur's gotta make alliances with King Pelles, The Fisher King and his strange cult he's founded because, why yes I find the ends justifies the means prophecy of the Holy Grail Quest very culty because Christianity then does not resemble it now. Meanwhile you got the secondary plots of Mordred, Gawain, Lancelot, Percival, Tristam and other's going on because they matter and too many modern King Arthur stories sideline the knights.

So many have always sidelined Mordred as a final boss eldritch abomination in mortal flesh conceived of sin and give him no personality, or complex motives, or even just a relationship with Arthur. I also have noticed the general sidelining of Lancelot, or give him a chad villain upgrade if you must include him at all, and the villainizing of Gawain to the point that you don't even have to have Mordred, or Agravain as a catalyst shit stirrer in court, just slap Gawain's name on Liam Neeson in a top knot and you're good. Mordred can just be a child offscreen until last act...fuck that, while Morgan Le Fay can either be a villainess plotting her cabal through men, or a well-intentioned, ineffectual idiot. Fuck that.

Now Hollywood just be doing King Arthur first acts that suck ass, only for said director to get rewarded failing upwards by giving this same jerk the Aladdin remake. The tonally shitty, crammed in blockbuster mess of a cliche heroe's journey that sucks.

With that background I was excited for The Green Knight. I read an illustrative version as a kid, I read Tolkien's translation as a teenager, I read Simon Armitage's superior, but with liberties taken translation. I was prepped to go knowing that indie, or not they were going to make changes to weave the disjointed poem together. I'm excited that because this movie exists Project Guternberg's finally thrown Jessie Weston's prose rendition up on their website. I'll be reading that at some point when this blows over.

The movie adaptation makes a lot of...choices, many I wouldn't love, but would forgive had their been a payoff. There was none.

The journey was fine, the cinematography was a breath of fresh air after crappy slo mo, glossy action scenes ruined another. Guys, I don't think I want to see a Zack Snyder Excalibur, it'll marginally be better than Guy Ritchie, but that ain't saying anything. Leave Excalibur to the post-Star Wars 80s where it is impeccable for it's time. I liked Green Knight's breathable pacing, it's color palette's in the forests and mountains made up for the muddy grey of every Ridley Scott send up in the castles and villages in every other Dark Ages/Medieval story in the last I don’t know since the shitty 00′s. For all the dark tones when there was blues, greens, yellows or reds, they were vibrant in this movie to contrast the gloom of Britain. The soundtrack was good. This isn't all what makes a movie, but it enhances it so let's get to the story and what I did and didn't like.

Things I Liked: Gawain is still a novice in his career The Costume Dressing Everyone pronounces Gawain's name different. I pronounce it like Gwayne, or Guh Wayne, but here you got Gowen (like Owen), Gowan (like Rowan), or even Garlon who I'm pretty sure is the Fisher King's heir in some versions of that Arthurian story, so uh... The reference to Arthur slaying 960 men with his bare hands (Nennius for the win!) The Waste Land that is implied to be a site of a battle (an important aspect of the Arthurian landscape) The Fox companion No long grisly, drawn out hunting scenes. The Fox lives! No misogynist speeches

Things I'm Mixed: This being a dream, is the magic real? Are the giants? Is the Green Knight a figment of Gawain's imagination from a spell Morgan casted in him to hallucinate? Is Lord and Lady also figments? It's...a way to interpret the poem, but lazy and I don't see why it's got to all fantasy, or all dream...this movie makes it too vague you're stuck picking one camp than to accept it's a fantasy with dream and hallucinatory sequences.

Things I'm Meh: Morgan Le Fay as Gawain's mom. Look I fucking hate Morgause as a character and these two get merged and steal each other's aspects so much at this point the difference is who did they marry, King Urien or King Lot? Both are attributed to being Mordred's mom, Mordred is Gawain's brother...both practice magic depending on certain incarnations, both love and hate Arthur their brother and are in conflict with him. Saint Winifred. I actually liked this sequence, but I don't appreciate her as the tacked on wife in the later dream sequence as like...a contrast between the wife you should marry than the whore next door you don't respect anyway? I don't even know what lesson I'm supposed to get out of the damn dream sequence, or any of it? That Gawain should've married his girlfriend and then he'd be a just ruler? That he shouldn't be king? That he'd never have to make the same heartless, impartial choices? I don't know, he seemed like a king doing king shit because guess what? It never gets easier. Wars will be waged. The world didn't become better because he married the right woman, respected her and lived in obscurity. The world didn't become better because he made her his queen. We certainly don't know the world would be better Gawain had his head chopped off and dead XP They never reveal the Lord and the Green Knight as one and the same because of this shit.

Things I Hated: Arthur withdraws from the challenge because he's old. In poem he takes it on and Gawain takes it so he don't have to and he finds himself more disposable than the king. Gawain only takes the challenge because of arrogance. Arthur and Gawain had no prior personal relationship. I'd not have hated this so much if it wasn't compounded by it cancelling out the first two things. Gawain is portrayed as having no respect for his woman, or any woman, maybe his mother? He has to be pushed by Winifred to regain her head. Gawain is portrayed as arrogant, covetous and ready to pass the buck, or the bare minimum than have any honor or decency. It didn't matter the kid in the wasteland was shithead bandit, the way Gawain acted towards him, when he gets robbed, it almost feels like he deserved it and Gawain doesn't learn a damn lesson. I'll admit him taking the sword to cut his ropes and cutting his hands was a neat sequence, it shows him go from stupid, to almost clever and having will to survive...you know traits he had in the poem, but he stops showing these traits or growing. Basically Gawain has to be dragged kicking and screaming to help people and shows no fortitude when facing temptation, or when showing respect towards others, it's exhausting. You don't make this kind of journey story without character growth. Why are you skipping this? Also is it just me, or is this like when you take Frank Miller Batman and transport him onto a Bill Finger story? This is at best Thomas Malory Gawain (and this is charitable) transported on the earlier Pearl Poet's story. Stop it. It's not tonally correct and goes at odds with the story and the set up characterization you'd need to tell it. Speaking of which, you know how I get through the oof... of Liam Neeson Gawain in Excalibur? By pretending he Agravain instead. Here...I don't even think Gawain could pass as Mordred in spite of his covetous nature, lust and entitlement. Why? because I don't think even Mordred is this dumb to warrant this hubris. Essel being invented as a tacked on love interest just to be shit on utterly and for what? I don't think I have much commentary here as there is no Essel I'm aware of to compare, or stack up. I just notice this trope of like...usually if you include a sex worker in Hollywood she often has a heart of gold, she often has her own sense of values that goes at odds with society, but is more true and less hypocritical than a privileged lady’s. I thought that's what they would've done with the added trope of back at home sweetheart to contrast and pit her against the despicable femme fatale of Lady Bertilak and her adultery and her ladyship...and I'm glad they didn't...but you did nothing with Essel than to shit on her for existing when you made her exist, you know. Lady Bertilak being portrayed as the seductress devil incarnate. Look I know adultery is a touchy taboo, but uh her and Gawain hit it off in the poem, dammit! Her values and his values come to clash, but here it's played off as Gawain is stupid and covetous and Lady Bertilak wants to prove something because...? If my brother's theory that she's a figment of Morgan Le Fay's magic, then I'll take this as a lesson of Gawain is impulsive and covetous and his mom knows it, but he don't want to fuck his mom, but he wants her power, and Morgan wants to teach him a lesson... I guess. Hey we don't have misogynist speeches in this movie, but we'll make sure to have the movie drip with it with no point, or commentary. Pass. Lord guilting, extracting and initiating the same sex kiss and only once. Poem automatically better that Gawain don't have to keep being reminded to keep his part of the bargain and he does it willingly more than once. What he doesn't do is give up his belt...gods how did we get more homophobic as a society that the homoeroticism here is worse? Catholics of the middle ages officially had no issue doing same sex, passionate kissing until it lead to sex. The Ending: The gods damn ending. In the movie as is, Gawain waits to uphold his end of the bargain and get his head chopped off. He imagines, even though we don't get any fuzzy or distortion to indicate this is a dream, but I already knew this was coming, he runs away and comes home, is regarded a hero, he sees his lady, takes her from behind and if you saw Brokeback Mountain (I didn't, but DJ has) you know this is a sign of disrespect to women. He gets her knocked up, pays her off for the kid she wants to keep, he is crowned king, marries the ghostly saint lady he helped retrieve her head earlier from a lake in the movie (this right here is the damn tip off). There's no more dialogue by this point and everything is montaging, so you know by now it's a dream, though nothing is out of focus. He rules as a heartless king, his whore son dies from war he waged, he has a daughter, his wife dies. Gawain then takes off the belt that would've saved his life and his head falls off. This would've been the one good twist, except... In this sequence of events he never had his head cut off so uh... now we back in present day. He decides not to bitch out, Green Knight in a sexy way is like "now off with your head," movie cuts to credits with no resolve...uh what the fuck? What the fuck? This is not good. You wasted the one twist in your dream when idk, you could've...

How I'd fix it: No dream sequence at all. No Incident At Owl Creek twist. Gawain comes home a hero and survivor of this game and ordeal. He wears this belt of shame. He becomes a well-renowned knight, but he bears a shame. One day he goes to take off his belt and his head falls off because he cheated to get this belt and to survive this encounter. There. Done. Improved your high concept movie that couldn't play any of the lessons straight from the damn poem without making everyone an asshole for no reason! Ugh! But nope you had to end it on we don’t know if Gawain lives or dies...because...it's dream magic made from his momma's witchcraft...?

Last Thoughts So then post-credits scene because Marvel because Pirates Of The Caribbean existed. A white girl who looks nothing like Gawain's daughter we see who didn’t pay off, or any child I can remember through this whole movie picks up King Arthur's crown that dream Gawain inherited and puts it on her head. Who is this girl? Are we gonna have an indie equivalent of of the Marvel Movie Universe/Universal Horror Monsters thing with ancient British legends? We gonna get a Life Of Saint Patrick next that crosses over? I don't know. What is this?

[magpiefngrl]

Book Recs Jan-Jun 2020

I’ve been reading voraciously these past six months (my Goodreads challenge says 68 books so far). Here are some memorable reads, grouped according to what you might be into.

I want queer romance please:

Brothers of the North Wild Sea by Harper Fox (m/m historical)

This book ruined me (in a good way). Or maybe it isn’t good that I’ll be carrying it inside my heart for ever and ever till the end of my days, my lip wobbling at the mere thought of it. A wonderful romance, a pairing I adored, gorgeous prose, a fascinating historical background (medieval times, north of England, Viking invasions). There’s a faint supernatural undercurrent that becomes more prominent at the very end. I sobbed through the last few pages with fear, with relief, with happiness. Highly, highly recced.

Bitter Springs by Laura Stone (m/m historical)

Every historical novel I’ve read is set in the UK, so the fact that this is a US historical book was fascinating to me. Two POC cowboys fall in love while seeking mustangs in the wilderness of Texas (?? idk where Del Rio is). It’s sweet and loving with a side-serving of jealousy when a former lover briefly appears on the scene; but mainly it’s two men getting to know each other and falling in love in the desert. I loved the horses too.

The Sins of Cities trilogy by KJ Charles. (3 books, 3 different couples, interconnected, m/m historical)

OK so the first book in the series didn’t do much for me. A pairing who loves to be domestic and sweet and to drink tea by the fire is cute... but I got bored. The second one, though... I think my eyes popped out of my head from the sheer heat of it. Justin Lazarus shot to the Top-5 of my fave characters of all time, and I’d willingly kill all of you for him, sorry that’s how it is. The trilogy is a murder mystery set in Victorian London, and unlike most romance series, you’ll need to read the books in order. Overall, this isn’t my fave series of KJC, but it was fun nonetheless, and it does have Justin in it so it’s worth a read.

Slippery Creatures by KJ Charles (m/m historical)

This one is amazing!!! This is KJC’s latest, first in a trilogy with the same pairing, which means the HEA is 2 books away (it doesn’t mean that this ends unhappy; another reader called it the WNDY ending -- We’re Not Done Yet). Boy, this is a scorcher. Set in the 1920s, it features spies, secret societies, murder, lies, kidnapping, grey characters with elastic morals: these are all catnip for me, and I inhaled this novel twice in a week. Highly recced for anyone into a gay historical romance, who loves a bit of pulp with their gay sex. The second installment is out next month.

The 13th Hex (novella) and Widdershins by Jordan L. Hawk (both m/m historical paranormal, but different universes)

I can’t say I’m enamoured by Hawk’s writing skills; in fact, I usually feel a tad let-down by the prose, mainly because the books have such potential. Hawk’s plotting is fantastic and his world-building fascinating and truly unique. I just love both of these worlds and their magic systems. Hot sex too. I don’t want to discourage people: I’m possibly just too fussy with prose. Hawk is super popular and you should give his books a shot. Widdershins is free! (In case it sways you: Hawk recently came out as a trans man.)

Unnatural by Joanna Chambers (m/m historical)

I read a few romances by Chambers lately, some less satisfying than others. This one is a standalone companion novel to her most popular series, called Enlightenment, set in Regency Britain. It’s a well-written fast read; a friends-to-lovers romance, with lots of tension and chemistry between the leads. As in all Chambers books that I’ve read so far, there’s lots of angst about one’s homosexuality (very era-appropriate) and lots of pull-and-push before it ends in a very HEA.

****

Do you have anything with fantasy and/or magic, my kind lady?

His Majesty’s Dragon by Naomi Novik (alternate history, Napoleonic wars with dragons)

Do you like dragons who talk and bond with honourable officers during times of war? Do you love soulmate bonds and sentiments such as: “I’ll do anything for you” and “You’re mine” but when it’s people, it makes you uncomfortable? Well, here former Naval officer Lawrence and his dragon Temeraire (and all dragons with their handlers) have this bond, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m in love with Temeraire, I shiver at the profound bond between Lawrence and his intelligent dragon, and I can’t wait to read the rest of the series by a beloved author (ahem).

The Dark Artifices by Cassandra Clare (YA urban fantasy)

I don’t hold the best opinion of Clare’s writing skills so I was pleasantly surprised when I read the first installment a few years back (Lady Midnight). I decided to reread it during quarantine, and then I moved on to the second one, Lord of Shadows. They’re both long novels, tightly-plotted, with several romances evolving on page.

I was excited to read the last one, A Queen of Air and Darkness, but alas! I didn’t love it. To start with, it’s 1000 pages long, and unlike books of that length that I’ve read, you feel it. The book drags. Everyone and their mother has a POV and a love story on page. There are no subplots, because they’re all Plots: all afforded equal space in the narrative, so there’s lots happening at the same time, but the story doesn’t feel like it’s moving forward with a good pace. As the end of the trilogy, Clare indulges in some of her fave elements, namely mentioning someone’s eye colour every three pages, or having every single person paired up by the end (something which bothers me a great deal). There are a few plot contrivances that ensure her main pairing conveniently gets their HEA. I confess I skimmed most of the last part of the book. I’m happy I read it and got to the end of the story, but I can’t say I was satisfied. If you’re looking for an undemanding, escapist fantasy, though, it’s the ticket: it certainly worked for me when I had quarantine brain.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amar El-Mochtar & Max Gladstone

Sci-fi, literary af, two time-travel agents from opposing Agencies bent on destroying each other, exchange letters and fall in love. I’m completely torn in half: half of the book (the prose, the imagination) left my jaw on the floor. The rest of it left me cold and indifferent. Wonderful prose, couldn’t get into the characters. Short and dense.

Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner

Queer fantasy novel that gives strong Dangerous Liaisons vibes. Written in 1987, one of the first fantasy novels to feature a society where same-sex is accepted. The writing is beautiful, the plot twisty. There’s no actual magic, but there are sword fights, courtroom drama, intrigue. Good fun if you like that kind of thing.

The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang

Adult fantasy. So far (I’m half-way through) it’s phenomenal. I’ve seen it recced everywhere and was so happy to see that Scribd offered it in my subscription. Set in a Chinese-inspired world, it features a vivid setting and memorable characters, and I’m loving it. I predict it’ll be my new fave. Do heed the content warnings (pretty much every CW you can think of applies); it’s quite dark as it progresses.

A bunch of novellas and short stories by Aliette de Bodard

This author came to my notice about a year ago. I’ve been following her on twitter ever since, but didn’t have the chance to read any of her work until I saw she had a bunch of stuff available on Scribd. I read a couple of sci-fi novellas set in a Vietnamese-inspired future; The Citadel of Weeping Pearls was my fave.

She’s also published a fantasy trilogy with fallen angels and magic set in a war-ravaged Paris, which sounds awesome. I haven’t read it, can’t afford to yet, but I did read two short stories set in that ‘verse and they were fabulous. The atmosphere, the setting, the premise, the Fallen of the Dominion universe just sounds like very much my thing. Here’s a link to some free stories they offer, if you want to check out her writing.

The Autobiography of a Traitor and a Half-Savage by Alix E. Harrow

I read a short story by Harrow several months ago and was blown away. I’ve rarely fell so fast and so deeply in love with an author. I haven’t read her debut yet, but I came across this short novella and she blew me away again. It’s a story set in the US, magical realism rather than fantasy imo, and it’s about colonialism and the land, and it’s so powerful. You can read it for free at Tor.com. Please do, it’s incredible.

******

[shelikesthosefunnypeople]

Pls explain more abt the ancient history thing b I’m very interested

Hello anon!

I know this was sent in months ago and I should have replied to it then but I’m a master procrastinator and life has been strange (before coronavirus kicked off I was in the middle of preparing for exams). Anyway, I’m happy to answer this.

I made a post in the distant past, basically saying that I think there is a view that history before 1800 is somehow less intellectual and that this is rooted in sexism. That post is here. Allow me to explain and please bare in mind that this is all just my opinion and is based off my experiences.

Apologies for the length.

Firstly, I love history. I’m a complete geek for it. I think it’s important, interesting and with a bit of luck I’ll be studying it at university soon. Therefore, this isn’t a post where I try to claim that actually history before 1800 is superior... because that’s just dumb. History is history and while historians can have personal preferences over which period they find most interesting, that doesn’t make that period “better” than any others. Literally. I mean, everything leading up to the present day didn’t happen in isolated, distinct boxes and all of it is useful to understanding how modern society has developed.

It makes sense that there is a general interest in “modern history”. After all, it is interesting and we have more information about it thanks to technological developments. The 20th century was a time of massive change if you compare 1900 to 2000 - although, I’m sure it’s easy for us to see the difference, seeing as the 20th century wasn’t so long ago in the grand scheme of things and many people who are alive today lived through a part of it. I’m sure people living in the early part of any century probably thought (if they had access to history) that the start and end of the previous century were hugely different. Nevertheless, I agree that the 20th century is quite profound in this respect, at least at the moment. In 100 years, who knows?

The 19th century also offers us a lot more remnants than its predecessors and I think culturally is still viewed as important. Some people have a rose tinted view of the 19th century. In Britain, I’d say it is seen by those of a certain political persuasion (check out Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg) as a time of peak Britishness(TM) and nationalistic pride... although that narrative is simplistic and disregards the suffering of the colonies and indeed the working classes of Britain, who had to prop up all this “greatness”. Anyway, I’m sure if you found a stuffy 19th century bloke, he would tell you how his society’s morality has gone to complete shambles and that he yearns for a bygone era that only really exists in his mind. I guess that’s just what some people always do. Conservatives, eh?

I’ll actually get to the point now.

At my college, there were two history courses available: modern (involving subjects such as the Russian Revolution and Britain from about 1950-2007) and pre-modern (involving subjects such as the crusades and the English Reformation). I took the latter course and was in a class of 18, where there were 13 girls and 5 boys. Generally, the modern history classes were weighted in the opposite way, which simply suggests that at my particular college with my particular year group, boys had a preference for modern history and girls for pre-modern. I would argue that this preference appears to be more widespread in general, but that’s not definite.

The fact that this difference existed is not the problem. The problem is what people perceived this difference to mean.

I was told by a boy (not a nice boy, so not a representation of everyone) who was studying history that the course I was taking was “the gay version”. That, of course, is a puerile insult for 2020 and highlights his maturity level - all history is very, very gay and if you take issue with that then I don’t know what to tell you. Get your head out of your arse, maybe? But anyway... why did he feel superior about studying a different bit of history?

It wasn’t just him. A (male) teacher once told me that the history course I had chosen wasn’t as useful as the other one and that the only use it had was that I could apply transferable essay writing skills to my other subjects. Which was bollocks, might I add. Unsurprisingly, he wasn’t a history teacher.

So, where were these views coming from? Why was the English Reformation - which was basically 16th century Brexit - seen as lesser than the Russian Revolution? The obvious argument one could make is that events that have happened more recently are more important and have more of an impact today. However, without the events of the years before them, would these events have happened either? Does the Church of England not still exist? Do we not have a statue of Richard the Lionheart in Westminster (because we like giving statues to tossers, apparently)?

In my opinion, the answer to this odd hierarchy of time periods lies in gender socialisation and the propensity of people to view history in the same way they view fiction. We know that the traditional male/female gender socialisation patterns are different: boys are socialised to be “tough”, “leaders”, “aggressive” etc. whilst girls are socialised to be “submissive”, “friendly”, “polite” etc. This is hopefully changing now but inbuilt, subconscious biases about the genders and what quantifies masculinity and femininity are still around. There is the stereotype of boys being interested in war due to the toys they were given to play with. Surprise, surprise - warfare in the 20th century alone was vastly different to anything that had come before it and, as I said, due to technology we have more archived about it. I’m not suggesting that only boys are interested in historical war - again, that’s a stereotype. Anyone can be interested in war, 20th century or otherwise. Despite this, I’m not going to pretend there still aren’t those guys who get waaaay into warfare and that their interest and knowledge in history is largely confined to that subject.

And that’s fine! You know, as long as you don’t start worshipping Hitler or anything equally creepy. People aren’t experts on every little bit of history and are allowed to have stereotypical interests.

Yet, that still doesn’t explain completely why “modern history” is viewed as more intellectual, just because maybe it appeals slightly more to men (apart from the obvious that anything men like is viewed as superior in some way).

As historical societies are notably different to our own - especially on the surface - and because there is so much historical fiction that seeks to romanticise it, it is not massively surprising that many people do see history as an extension to fiction. It’s gone, we live in the now, lots of people don’t even believe history matters. The fantasy genre has a habit of adopting historical (often medieval) settings for its tales. It’s an obvious example but Game of Thrones was a retelling of the Wars of the Roses, amongst other things. I think when fantasy is applied to history it makes it seem even less real than it may already and this can lead to it being taken less seriously (though please do watch Horrible Histories or Blackadder and take the piss out of all time periods because humans of every age have been fallible). Of course, it is far easier to romanticise and play around with times that are further from our own because they are further detached and therefore more fantastical. This plays into post-1800 being seen as more “real” and “intellectual”.

Some men who wish to keep women out of the historical circle accuse them of only being interested in history because of “romance” or “fancy dresses” - princesses and knights and fairytales. This is more a low down problem with internet trolls than actual, published historians but the issue still stands. If you view “pre-modern” history through this veil of fiction then it must seem rather childish compared to the stark brutality of the World Wars and the political rise of the New Right in the West. However, conversely, it could also be argued that the nationalism and legend attached to recent warfare makes it equally comparable to a story. Not a happy story but then, Game of Thrones isn’t a happy story either.

I don’t think anyone serious about history actually believes that the romantic, fantastical elements attached to any historical periods are 100% true. Hopefully, most people don’t see them as proof that being interested in a certain period makes you better than someone who is interested in another period. Any period can be romanticised, including the “modern” one - Titanic, anyone? Not to mention the frilly view we have of the Victorians (although that���s not silly because of the Britishness(TM), remember). Actually, using history in fiction and even making fiction about history isn’t even a bad thing and I certainly encourage it. I just think that the truth shouldn’t be conveniently forgotten by those with weird superiority complexes who think that because The Tudors was all about love trysts and fine clothing, the entire period is “girly” and a write off.

What am I saying amongst this rambling mess? The next time you see a girl going through her Ancient Egypt phase, don’t roll your eyes. Not if you wouldn’t do the same when you see a boy with an interest in WW2 tanks. Whichever way people come to their interest in the past is valid (apart from the creepy fascist worshipping I mentioned). A lot of things in our world are gendered when they shouldn’t be; history should be equally open to all and although there is a focus on the past 200 years (just look at the uni modules on offer), that doesn’t mean that if you are interested in the years before, your interest isn’t valid enough.

I hope I’ve managed to explain myself properly and have gotten through how gender plays into this sufficiently. I know this is a very niche thing to have an opinion on and I’d like to stress again that this is just my opinion and you are free to disagree with me. That said, if you send me hate then don’t expect a proper response.

Thanks for the ask!

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6 Terrible Stereotypes (That Came From Positive Things)

You probably expressed the view that every slur and negative stereotype jump from the minds of history’s most bigoted people, like that time Sir Misogynist fabricated sexism whole cloth in 1204. But history is more nuanced than that. Sometimes inventions, positive trends, and good aims end up harming the exact people they were supposed to help. Take how …

6

Every Witch Stereotype Comes From Women Working A Cool Job

Picture your favorite witch. Unless you moved with ‘9 0s Sabrina, you’re likely picturing an old woman wearing all black, with a pointy hat, a broom, and maybe hovering over a black kettle. You might have a felines in the mingle as well. Everything you portrait was a relic of a kind of cool minute in history when women could earn a living doing a very concrete task: brewing beer.

Medieval people who didn’t know jack about how the Universe operated, how to read, or why someone should fabricate toilet paper as soon as possible understood at least one thing us sophisticated modern characters can agree with: Their clean drinking water was garbage. Which was why some of them skipped water wholly and booze brew instead. In a world in which hunting, warring, whoring, and maybe cobbling (?) took up most of the day, boys didn’t have time to wait near a kettle to make their own beer. So the brewers were usually( pause for dramatic impact) … females . i>

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You could find them if you knew the right signs. Typically she’d be near a big black kettle. And she’d have a cat to retain all the barley-eating vermin at bay. She’d likewise have an ale stake, which they were required by law to display. What’s an ale bet? A long wooden pole with a bunch of branches at the end, like a broom. And if you were out and about at the market, you could look for the big black pointy hat they wore to stand out while selling their brewskies at marketplace. Sound familiar yet?

David Loggan The green skin thing may have been from a hangover.

But everything started to change for lady brewers in the 1300 s. Men suddenly decided that they craved in on the rising booze market, which entailed girls had to move their ass out of the behavior. And when they refused? Well, there was a certain medieval saying about smart, strong-headed females: witch! She’s a witch! Burn the witch!

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5 Hilariously Disgusting Minutes From Your Favorite Shows

Suddenly , now that it suited the men, the tall hat became the witch’s evil uniform, and the barley-protecting feline a “familiar” given to her by Satan. And the broomstick? She plainly rode it to go to her secret devil sessions. And that simmering brew wasn’t beer anymore, but some sort of evil beverage that would induce you go all weird — you know, unlike brew. By the 14 th century, people had been poisoned( ironically) against the idea of female homebrewers, right in time for large-scale breweries to take over. And so today, super vexing guys will make sure you know all about their latest microbrew , not realizing their shitty hobby get girls burned at the stake.

5

“Dumb Blondes” Was Accidentally Birthed By The Suffrage Movement

Once upon a time, a troupe of blonde performing women arrived in New York from Great Britain. They set up shop doing a burlesque performance and constructed indecent sums of money. The purpose. Except that the particular day this story was in was 1868, so a lot of sexist bullshit then occurred.

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When we say these blonde wives performed burlesque, it wasn’t burlesque as we think of it today, which is basically stripping with better music and nipple tassels. No, this was the extremely-risque-for-its-time burlesque, wherein women put on a play-act while presenting their legs ! Legs covered in thick tights, like they’re some kind of comfortably warm prostitutes. Some of them even dressed like boys. The nerve! Being a living, breathing girl would have been enough for most misogynists at the time, but add in the sexy prancing, the cross-dressing, and the fact that these British immigrants were taking indecent American occupations, and you have massive outrage on your hands.

Via Musicals1 01. com “Is that a dog garmented as a lamb ?! Will these loose wives stop at nothing ?! “

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So far, so depressingly normal, right? Nonetheless, at the same time, these UK gals were drawing the ire of American suffragettes. These proto-feminists had a difficult tightrope to stroll. On the one hand, the burlesque musicians were owning their sexuality and succeeding at a task in public. On the other, they were openly mocking the suffragist movement — among many other things, like Shakespeare, way, and marriage. In the end, many decided to speak out against the blonde British beauties, enabling another stereotype: that of the sour-faced suffragette who can’t take a bloody joke.

One in particular, Olive Logan, simply couldn’t let it go, even denouncing the women in front of Susan B. Anthony, who had most significant shit to deal with than throwing tint. Logan talked at length about how these blondes were a detriment to the gender, as they had nothing to give intellectually or talent-wise, and people simply went to see them for their bodies. Soon the latter are being put down with the insult “British Blondes, ” which we’re sure we’ve understood printed on a Maxim cover somewhere.

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Eventually, this jargon wasn’t used to refer to simply the burlesque dancers anymore, but to any woman who was famous for her appears, the so-called “professional beauties.” “British Blondes” transformed into “dizzy blondes, ” which is an old-timey term for hella dumb, and so we arrived here the quaint insult still used to this day. It certainly is tragic that Susan B. Anthony, who fought her entire life for equality, could have nipped one of the most damaging female stereotypes in the bud by telling her friend to chill for a second.

4

Cops Eating Donuts Came From Long, Terrible Hours

During the daytime, you can stop in for little bit anywhere, but in the old days, if you were working the night shift and craved something to feed, your options were limited. Sure, you try to find an all-night diner or pack a big lunchbox and thermos, but for cops on the job, one of those is very impractical and the other constructs your collaborator call you a big ol’ nerd.

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But after World War II, a new food fad made the entirety of the U.S .: donut shops. And because donut shops basically operate like bakeries, they open crazy early. Abruptly cops had a one-stop shop to grab food and coffee on the go, keeping them fed and alert as they roved the street. And “its been” cheap too, so even when other options becomes available, they bided loyal to the hole.

Of course, donut stores enjoyed the fact that policemen would hang out at their venues — especially before dawn, when the drug fiends are at their most feral. Dunkin’ Donuts founder William Rosenberg claimed in his autobiography that he actively induced his stores the kind of places policemen wanted to hang out for a while.

3

The Idea That “Lesbians Drive Subarus” Saved The Company

Here’s one you might not “ve heard quite a bit about” “unless youre” homosexual: All lesbians drive Subarus. Weirdly specific, sure, but the stereotype has been hardwired into gay culture. Why? Because of a logical fallacy. Not all lesbians drive Subarus. But for a period, all Subarus were driven by lesbians.

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It all started when Subaru was completely bombing as a company. In the 1990 s, big flashy autoes were coming into manner, and the company’s modest, compact brand wasn’t cutting it anymore. Simply one part of their line was selling well: the four-wheel-drive vehicles. However, the company couldn’t figure why. Then, one executive had a mind-opening converses with a homosexual friend and realise the reason: lesbians.

Lesbians loved everything about the outdoorsy Subarus. They were small, dependable, and cute in an off-road culture that leaned more toward dick-swinging big rigs. This revelation did pose a problem, as Subaru couldn’t openly advertise to lesbians, because this was the ‘9 0s and even Friends was making a million gay gags. Alienating their heterosexual customers, nonetheless few there were, “wouldve been” corporate suicide. They had to stay in the wardrobe, advertising-wise, and had to be subtle. Their new ad bureau created a series of publish ads showing Subaru vehicles from behind, all of them with sapphic-signaling license plates. One plate said “Camp Out, ” and the other said “Xena Lvr, ” after lesbian icon Xena: Warrior Princess .

Subaru Since then, their ads have gotten a bit more direct.

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The final one said “P-towny, ” which supposedly stood for “Provincetown” and not the other favorite p-word.

By 2000, when we all started to loosen a bit more, Subaru decided to go all in, gay-wise. They hired ex-tennis-player and famous lesbian Martina Navratilova as their spokesperson. As dog whistles run, it perked all the ears in the country. And it worked! 12 months ago, and Subaru had its best-ever sales time. The lesbian gamble had paid for by in spades.( Lesbians like gardening, right ?)

2

Hollywood Made The Festive Latina Stereotype To Sell Movies To Latinos

During WWII, Hollywood had a problem. Europe was being overrun by Nazis, which means they weren’t buying American movies!( Likewise demise and demolition, etc. etc .) So the studios necessity a new foreign market to compensate for the loss in revenue. Fortunately, there used to be plenty of movie fans waiting for them south of the border. Simply one problem: They were the same people Hollywood had been racist to since day one.

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Previously, South Americans and Mexicans had been negatively typecast as the bad dudes in movie — bandits tying females to qualifies and things. But with this new upsurge of Latin-oriented movies, they had to become good guys. However, Hollywood kind of … overcompensated. Needing a new Hispanic stereotype, Hollywood looked to Brazilian Carmen Miranda.

20 th Century Fox

She was the fruit-wearing, banjo-strumming, happy-go-lucky Latina who managed to get people crazy about bananas. And despite her best intents, a new Hispanic stereotype was born, one of the constantly happy, guitar-playing, sing, samba-dancing dummy.

According to one novelist for The Washington Post in 1942, the new movies constructed it seem like it was always Carnival and everyone “re dressed like” Carmen Miranda with skimpy clothings and fruit on their heads. You can see why this didn’t go over so well with people who lived there, those hard workers who were mostly non-fruit-covered.

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Miranda’s influence can still be felt today, when you ascertain person like Sophia Vergara. Now the highest-paid wife on television, her “act” is the happy Latina — she even dyed her blonde whisker brown to conform to the dark and somewhat stereotype. A stereotype that trumps other stereotypes. Ay, caramba . i>

1

Most Racist Job Stereotypes Come From Success Stories

This might shock you, but Americans used to be rather shitty to immigrants. Hard to believe, we know. Not content to simply impair them economically, socially, and culturally, people had to start calling them names as well. But despite those severe limitations, many immigrants rose to the occasion, creating empires out of the scraps that had been left for them.

Which simply devoted people further ways of being racist.

While now a lighthouse of progressiveness and decent coffee, 1800 s San Francisco had a serious racism difficulty, what with the many immigrants “re coming out” over the Pacific. Most San Franciscans discovered them far too … what’s the word … not-white for their inclination, and refused to work with them. Eventually, the only two areas these Chinese immigrants observed openings were in the restaurant business and taking in laundry. The pioneer of laundry was Wah Lee, who called himself “King Lee”( awesome) and set up a laundry business in Chinatown around 1855. As his business thrived, his Chinese employees were inspired by his success and started setting up their own laundry enterprises. Soon there were dozens, then hundreds, and by the 1880 s, over 7,500 all across California. So naturally, as a reward for their ingenuity and drive, 150 year later, Chinese immigrants are still linked to the idea they are the absolute best at getting stains out.

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The exact same has come to Vietnamese. During the Vietnam War, Hollywood royalty Tippi Hedren( of The Birds fame) noticed two phenomena: 1) Many Vietnamese women fleeing their homeland were stuck in refugee camps with no way to earn money, and 2) Get your fingernails done cost a lot of fund. Hedren decided to kill two issues with one stone and fly in her own manicurist to teach Vietnamese the trade and give the free market of nails a shot in the arm. Soon, business was booming. These days, 51 percentage of all manicurists (8 0 percent in California) come from Vietnamese backgrounds. But while Hedren is celebrated as both a great actress and the godmother of the fingernail industry, Vietnamese females only get stereotyped to hell.

Via BBC Hedren in back row, middle.( We guess. All white people seem the same to us .)

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Of course, America didn’t invent occupational racism. For that, you have to look to the treatment of Jews in medieval Europe. They were are prohibited from doing or owning almost anything, but one field that was open to them was banking. Christians were are prohibited from accusing concern because of something Jesus had once said in the Bible, so they weren’t that keen on the whole banking nonsense. Nonetheless, Jews had no such restrictions, so European commonwealths utilized this religion loophole to get their financial infrastructures off the ground. Eventually, Jews had a decent job prospect, and all that was asked for in return was for them to live in ghettos and wear a badge or hat so that you are able tell who they were at first glance — a bargain that really didn’t work up in their favor.

Unfortunately, like bankers today, Jews didn’t build themselves popular by charging people interest, and soon the stereotype leapt up that Jews were greedy and money-hungry. So you force outsiders into a profession and then dislike them for doing that profession correctly? Stop being such a Christian stereotype.

Screw it, be a witch. Brew some brew at home. Here’s a good read on how to get started . i > b>

If you desired such articles and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you . i > b>

For more, check out 5 Gender Stereotypes That Use To Be the Exact Opposite and 6 Absurd Gender Stereotypes That Science Says Are True . i > b>

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A Journey To France

As flying is changing into more expensive, an increasing variety of holiday makers are choosing to drive to Europe. Folks from Non-EU(European Union), Non-EEA(European Financial Area) nations who want to visit Europe as vacationers, and who require a visa to enter the Schengen space, are merely required to get a standard Schengen Visa from the Embassy/Consulate of the Schengen nation they intend to go to first. In addition to a Schengen visa, South Africans travelling on a short lived passport will need to have their SA identity books to indicate as proof of residence. The driving force of the minibus would require a Full Passport and a proper 'Permission to Drive' letter from the automobile's owner, until they're the registered keeper of the minibus. True, you can easily discover a French restaurant in many corners of the world, but nothing still compares to eating fois gras, coq au vin, ratatouille, bouillabaisse, souffle, eclairs or ganache in probably the greatest restaurants in France. The popular streets where most restaurants and cafes are, can get crowded, however they can be a lot of enjoyable if you happen to take pleasure in folks watching; and since a lot of the streets are closed to traffic, it isn't arduous to simply stroll around and benefit from the upbeat atmosphere. Take a tour of the numerous vineyards and see how the wine in this stunning region is produced. Effectively the plain answers could be scenic beauty, wealthy historical past, gourmand food and wine, fragrance and fashion. It's amongst one of many well-known and largest churches on the planet which is famous for its art and sculptures too. Many people head straight for the Eiffel Tower and while it is great enjoyable ascending this iconic landmark, you may get higher views of the city from either the highest of the Arc de Triomphe or the steps of the Sacre Coeur church in Montmartre, as any photos you're taking from these vantage points will have the Eiffel Tower in them. Think about not dropping precious vacation time moving from one town to another, however merely going to sleep and waking up in a brand new place within the morning, your new journey ready to begin as soon as you step out of your door. The Cathedral has superb stained glass, including some designed by Chagall and is nicknamed 'God's Lantern' as a result of the cathedral is flooded with gentle as a result of having the second highest nave in France. In case you are unable to take a bike tour of Normandy there are a number of organizations which provide alternatives such as Battlebus who supply Excursions of the D-Day seashores and battlefields that are extremely widespread with guests from America. The card additionally gets you a 30% discount on rail journeys in 22 other European countries. It is the most stunning continent in the world and for precisely this purpose one ought to go to this pretty continent. There are some websites and streets, which are price to go to. Watch the world go by. Certainly one of French people's favorite activities is to take a seat outdoors a cafe and discuss the affairs of the day over coffee. Many gay travel experiences have a religious twist on them. It will likely be great experience to explore this stunning city. French History alone might occupy you for the remainder of your life! You will also not want to miss Chartres en Lumieres, the light present between April and September of all of the historic buildings. If you wish to explore Paris, then Paris metropolis break is the most suitable choice. It's the tallest Gothic church and the biggest cathedral in France. Marais, the land the place the King Henry II took his last breath, is the home for some of the most archaic French buildings. Not that a French host will object to you using somewhat milk - they simply do not think to offer it. There are probably the most well-known wine producing regions round Bordeaux. This museum has some of the world's most prized sculptures, paintings, utensils and other antiques. The aura of town is such that the guests are left spell sure. Other in style places of go to within the nation are Palace of Versailles, Chateau de Chambord, and Sainte Chapelle. Furthermore, France nonetheless has plenty of fascinating issues to supply other than just a place to drink and get pleasure from leading edge cuisines. Some Schengen countries don't permit entry on a brief passport. While most tourist sites, eating places and lodges round Paris may have English-talking employees, if you happen to enterprise further afield in France you might run into some issue. Europe has an exquisite historical past, because it has played a serious role on the earth's events and also has a powerful relationship with artwork, reflective in its unmatched architecture and distinctive blend of the previous with the current is so lovely that it typically appeals to those on the lookout for a romantic trip. Besides visiting the enormous Cathedral (constructed on the positioning of a Roman temple) you will want to see the Astronomical Clock where the 'Parade of the Apostles' takes place at noon every single day. Additionally declared a UNESCO World Heritage Web site, the interior of the cathedral boasts colourful stained glass designs, choir clock and extra. The region is known for producing a wide variety of various wines, which signifies that whether you prefer your white candy or dry or in case you like a totally-bodied red somewhat than a light-weight one, you are certain to search out something that pleases your style buds. Basilique de Notre Dame de Fourvière, Cathédrale St-Jean, Place de la Comédie, Roman Ruins, Museum of Gallo-Roman Civilization are among major tourist points of interest in Lyon.'A French island basking within the Italian sun' is the outline of Balzac for Corsica. Corsica has excellent beaches that offers actions for travellers. It is a metropolis which is visually appealing and has a rich cultural historical past of the French. The theme park is located just exterior the town of Paris and is similar to the US versions, with just a few nods to its European places. The Leaning Tower of Pisa is positioned within the metropolis of Pisa, roughly 1 hour from Florence by practice and involving a journey by means of the countryside of Tuscany. After looking inside these two castles, head over to Ambroise and go to the home the place da Vinci died. It has evolved right into a metropolis that is bustling with activity. There are some individuals that may think of white water rafting or sky diving as extreme journey sport, whilst others would think of biking to at least one place, then going on horse back to another as a terrific journey. The Own Account Certificate (OAC) could be carried instead of a waybill if the minibus belongs to a non-revenue making organisation and when travelling within EU member states. For an incredible many it was to become the place in which they died whereas others, who survived WWII look back and remember the loss of buddies (and often household) on the seashores of Utah, Omaha, Gold, Juno and Sword. It supplies a few of the finest vacationer points of interest on the earth. The nation is host to a few of the most beautiful cities of the world. It's a very protected place for all the vacationers because the crime price is as low as zero. If you're visiting just one Schengen country, it's essential to apply for a Schengen visa at that nation's embassy or consulate. It is a fantastic metropolis with lots of appeal and character; a mixture of French and Italian cultures where the people are straightforward-going and friendly even when you don't communicate French. One factor is for sure in case you are visiting this zone of Europe. I you go to Grasse, you need to go to the perfume factories. Malta: SA passport holders need a visa to enter Malta, but when you already have a Schengen visa, you may enter Malta on that. That is where the kings of France have been topped, making it an necessary historical structure constructed to face royally attributable to its essential position in the French monarchy. cheap flights bulgaria All are stunning seaside towns where you may take a dip within the clear Mediterranean Sea. Many folks choose to go down the coast, visiting Barcelona after which working across the country to Madrid, having fun with all the hospitality of small Spanish towns alongside the best way, rich in orange groves and folklore. Staying in villas within the Loire area will let you absolutely explore all that this picturesque a part of France has to offer, from its vineyards and restaurants to a bunch of different attractions. On the whole, the Louvre Museum is a spectacular place to stop at. After this, they could go to any or the entire Schengen nations as tourists or for enterprise with out hindrance. Gregory Lemarchand's bistro Frenchie and Vin Sur Vin, positioned near the Eiffel Tower are hottest restaurants in Paris. Visiting Europe for the primary time may be troublesome as a result of it's onerous to decide on the place to begin. It was said that Monet chose to stay in the metropolis after peeking from a prepare, and a visit right here will inform you precisely why. Most of Southern France is off the overwhelmed tourist trap, plagued by medieval villages, and containing acres of wonderful and scenic vineyards. The SNCF (French State railway company)'s Carte Senior entitles those over 60 to discounts of 25-50% on all prepare journeys, even if you don't guide upfront, for an entire 12 months. In 4 or 5 weeks you possibly can take in the great thing about the continent, with all of continental Europe obtainable to you - the rail hyperlink between France and Nice Britain implies that a visit to England is perfectly potential as a part of your rail journey. Schengen is a wine-growing village in south-japanese Luxembourg close to the purpose where the borders of Germany, France and Luxembourg meet together. Whereas most of the caves function wine cellars, some have been was more household-pleasant sights. To start the journey, the Eiffel Tower is a great possibility and selection that may make you wonder in shock. Trying at the splendid shows and opulent environment - each internal and external - it's hard to not see why the French Monarchy suffered a collapse. Because the capital of France, Paris, additionally referred to as the town of lights, is without doubt one of the most romantic cities in bothe world. Excavation works for limestone have left a whole bunch of miles of caves underneath the city, which are now used as cellars by a few of the region's wineries. I will surely counsel trying to stay a minimal of three days in any massive European cities. If you don't have the time to travel from one city to a different, exploring rapid Paris sights is likely to be enough on your first visit in France. A tour to the city of Paris entails discovering new locations, assembly new people and tasting the varied cuisines in the superb meals festivals. Dijon is known for its well-known mustard and delightful tile roofs. Among them are the Mushroom Museum, which promises to educate you about all issues mushroom-associated, displaying you each how and where they grow. Central European favourites would result in Vienna, Budapest, Prague and Krakow. Different eminent museums include-The Musee Cognaq Jay, The Musee de la Serrure Briccard, Musee de la Chasse et de la Nature (famous for stone age weapons) and final however not the least The Musee Picasso that has the worlds largest number of Picasso work.