#gandalf posting

[smoking-old-toby]

note to self: the old toby tin has been moved to the shed cupboard. please remember this. don't get annoyed when you forget and can't find the tin

[gandalf-the-fool]

[nyxshadowhawk]

Which Lord of the Rings characters say fuck:

Aragorn: definitely says fuck, and has to catch himself and tone it down when he becomes king

Boromir: yes. "They have a fucking cave troll."

None of the hobbits do; at least, not at first. Pippin picks up swears from Boromir, and Sam will swear under duress

Gimli: swears all the time, but mainly in Khuzdul. He definitely tries to teach Khuzdul swears to Legolas

Legolas: swears very rarely, and usually in Sindarin, which sounds so pretty that it goes unnoticed. Gimli often tries to goad him into swearing

Gandalf: knows all the swears, but doesn't say them

Galadriel: used to swear when she was younger, but that was thousands of years ago, and she no longer does.

Eowyn: swears constantly. every other word.

Faramir: swore once, and still regrets it.

Gollum: doesn't know any swears, but would say them if he did.

@fadedkat

[calocera]

[yourfaveisintersex]

Gandalf Big Naturals from tumblr dot hellsite is intersex!

[remusjohnslupin]

based on this hilarious post by @homosexual-having-tea.

[fellowship-of-the-doodles]

A little AU based on a dream I had recently in which the Fellowship teamed up with the Winnie the Pooh characters to escape a natural disaster, and when it was over they all moved into a house together with a massive stockpile of food :) Here's just a few of their interactions; I'll probably do more sketches of the AU if people are interested and if I feel inspired to (which I definitely have more ideas for it!) Anyway I just remember that they were all best buds in the dream and it was super cute so I wanted to do something with it <3

[achillyscomedown]

[mgcoco]

"There is some new devilry here"

[boromirthedad]

[gandalf-the-fool]

[silme-lorien]

hi guys

[outwither]

gandalf is smacking the phone out of your hand and cracking the tv screens and raging at you

have you learned nothing from the examples of the lord denethor and saruman the wizard? have you not realised that to look in these glass boxes for knowledge is not always wise, for unless you are of strong will, stronger even than aragorn son of arathorn who wrested the gaze of the orthanc stone from the dark lord, unless you claim that strength of will and more, you cannot see beyond that which the enemy chooses. and he will show you only darkness, and his terrible strength of arms and he will allow you to see naught that is fair and lovely, and it will lead you to despair as it did the steward of gondor. heed the warning of the son of ecthelion and do not let the designs of the enemy into your mind though this glass or through fox news. you do not control them, and thus will they master you. and the darkness will triumph thereby. and what help then can you be up your friends?

nay, find tidings by other means, true tidings and full, for not all is yet dark while we yet stand. for behold! if you lift your head and look upon the morning you will see that all is not yet lost! queers live yet, and migrants, and women, and will not be wiped out while the great alliances between free peoples last!

[lovebeatriceplz]

Lotr text post

[starsofarda]

So, here's some thoughts about a fic I willone day write. Many thanks to @starshadeemilyart for helping me with brainstorming a few ideas.

I do not have a title for this yet. I will call it, at the moment, "The Feanorians' adventures in the Shire".

Bullet points seem like a good idea, so I am sticking with that.

Feanor gets kicked out of Mandos, Namo has had enough of this guy moping over the tortures of his sons and adamantl requesting to be sent back to Aman.

As a punishment Namo kicks him out, but sends him in the Shire, together with his sons, Fingolfin, Fingolfin's sons/daughter and Thingol. They are at the Grey Havens and Cirdan is refusing to let them leave ME. Arson/Kinslaying is stopped by the arrival of Gandalf.

Gandalf is tasked with taking care of Feanor & co. Gandalf will be happy about the task until Feanor opens his mouth and it is an insult. Gandalf also opens his mouth and it is another insult.

It's suddenly Gandalf "I preferred white" The Grey vs Curufinwe "Get thee gone from my gates" Feanaro in a battle of who can sass the other out first.

Someone interrupts them, maybe Gwahir has come reminding Gandalf of the task at hand.

Moment of Fingon calling Gwahir "Thorondor" and Gwahir saying "no, that was my great grandpa, I am Gwahir, current king of the Eagles". "Ok. You were not supposed to have such a short life?" "Apparently it's punishment for saving you all." "We are sorry!" "Oh no, we chose this, no probs mate"

Anyway, they are all in the Shire and it's during their travel to Hobbiton that they see what appears to be a bard, all dressed in black, sad and looking like a withered stalk. He is singing the Noldolante and they see it's actually Maglor

Cue family reunion, cue everyone gets filled in on what happened since their death.

Somehow they also start learning Westron bc having Linguistics Georg over there is actually a good thing.

They finally arrive at Hobbiton and Bilbo has come back from the Lonely Mountain and his house is being put on auction and Lobelia Sackville-Baggins has already stolen the infamous silver spoons.

Feanor is reminded of his exile at Formenos and enquires CALMLY.

As in he shouts a loud "WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING HERE WHY ARE YOU DEPRIVING SOMEONE OF THEIR HOUSE?!"

Which also prompted Bilbo shouting as well: "I WAS GONE FOR 5 MINUTES AND NOW MY HOUSE IS ON AUCTION, ALL THESE PEOPLE ARE TAKING POSSESSION OF MY MATHOMS AND MY BELOATHED IN-LAWS HAVE STOLEN MY PRECIOUS SILVER SPOONS"

Cue explanation on what is a Mathom. Feanor, as crown prince and king, takes it well.

"GET AWAY FROM HIS GATES YOU FIENDS! AND YOU! GIVE HIM BACK THE SILVER SPOONS, I WILL FIGHT YOU!"

To which Lobelia replies like the refined lady she is. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, I STOLE NOTHING, YOU WILL BE BEATEN BY MY UMBRELLA OF DOOM!"

Fingolfin, Thingol, the SoF, Fingolfin's sons are like trying to not be perceived, but they are being served tea and biscuits to enjoy the fight, bc this is an EventTM in the SHire and evveryone is treating this like a rooster fight.

It's at that point that some of them decide "fuck it, we might as well."

Maglor becomes the announcer, Celegorm is the referee, Curufin is the one building the ring, the Ambarussar act as PRs, Caranthir starts taking bets.

Maedhros is crying sobbing on Fingon's shoulder and saying something like "I want my mum, I probably deserve all of this, but by Eru Allmighty!", Aredhel is now in the Hobbit Ladies Gossip Club, Turgon, Argon and Fingolfin still try not to be perceived.

That until Thingol, out of spite, goes to Caranthir and bets against Feanor.

RIP Thingol, King of Bad Choices.

Gandalf is watching the drama unfold with the same glee he pulled Bilbo together with the Dwarves and doing absolutely nothing.

It's Feanor and a forging hammer against Lobelia and her umbrella.

It's a choir of "fight fight fight!" all the way.

Yes, Maglor is making introductions WWE style.

It still ends in a draw, but Bilbo gets back house and spoons and mathoms, bc the Hobbits as a whole deem him enough trouble if he has not only Dwarves, but also Elves around. Anyway, Mad Baggins now has a bunch of Elves with a lot of pent-up rage and a lot of free time.

DW, they are useful to the entire Hobbiton and they learn the way of the Hobbits. Somehow they start getting along.

Russingon wedding happens in Hobbit fashion, like the two are now clothed not with Elvish robes, but with carefully tailored suits like any gentleHobbit. There is a lot of crying.

CeleDhel wedding happens, but mostly so that if Eol ever gets reembodied he can fuck off immediately. Also, they are good friends and when Maeglin gets reembodied as well he can maybe have a slightly better father figure.

IDK these last two points seem like a natural consequence.

Thingol and the Gaffer become good friends, gardening reminds him of Melian, maybe he's finall making one (1) good decision.

And then they see that Elves are abandoning ME, at this point Gandalf tells them about Sauron, the rings and the whole deal.

"And who made the rings?" "The ones for the Elves was Celebrimbor, the others was Sauron."

Curufin: "And pray tell, WHERE IS MY SON."

Gandalf: decribes Celebrimbor's death as reported in the chronicles

The rest of the family reacts in the same way

In the meantime Bilbo has adopted Frodo and Frodo reminds them of little Tyelpe and they are going to throw hands

Maedhros just says: NO OATHS THIS TIME NO OATHS. OATHS BAD.

And well.

Ideas so far were to have them go to like Dol Guldur and have a fight off with Orcs and Nazguls, I am still undecided whether I want them to know about the One Ring. Oh well.

I'll probabl post something else once I figure out more stuff

Thoughts? Comments?

[condohavenoking]

Fellowship of the Ring + Twitter