#gah idk I just don’t like it
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the frozen ii ending makes me soooooo angry like the whole POINT of frozen i was that elsa learned that she could rule arendelle with her powers and with anna by her side!!! literally in the bway musical she sings ‘i know i’ll never see that sunny day / when this trial is finally through / and it can just be me and you’ like. elsa WANTS to stay with anna
and they try and explain this somewhat in into the unknown, with the ‘who knows deep down i’m not where i’m meant to be’ but. WHY isn’t she where she’s meant to be. all of the first film was her learning that she belonged in arendelle and her powers/herself wasn’t something to be afraid of. why isn’t she meant to be with her family? with her sister who’s been desperate to reconnect with her? why doesn’t she belong where people readily love her and accept her and want the best for her?
and then, what about anna? there is no mention of her wanting/being ready to be queen in either two films. we don’t even see the offer on screen; we don’t get the sisters’ quiet, vulnerable conversation where elsa admits to wanting to live with the rest of the nature spirits and anna offers to take her place as queen. we don’t see anna begging elsa to stay in the forest because she can rule if elsa’s happier there. we never see their dialogue. it’s just so sudden. is anna once again just going along with what her sister wants? is elsa isolating herself all over again? we just don’t know. they both seem happy, but there’s barely any indication that it’ll lead up to that point.
it just makes no sense for either of their arcs, or their previous wants/needs. if they were meant to stay together, why separate them again? they just got each other back. and now they’re alone again.
#and yeah yeah neither of them are alone bc of kristoff/the other nature spirits etc etc but COME ONNNNNNN.#anna did not spend most of her life desperate to spend time with her sister just for elsa to fuck off to the mountains again! what was the+#point of the first film!#like when did anna show ANY indication of being ok with being QUEEN???? does she even WANT to be???#and yes elsa is now surrounded by people like her but. gah. idk it just feels so redundant#like why is that the only place she really belongs?#and i know they’re her people so ofc she wants to be with them bc she found where she belongs!!#i just think they could’ve balanced it a bit more so it’s not so out of nowhere#why didn’t we get to see anna and elsa talk it out???? sing a little duet?????#they don’t even HAVE a duet in this film what the hell#grrrr#anyway. normal i’m so normal about frozen#frozen#frozen ii#elsa of arendelle#anna of arendelle
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I will say, regardless of how many issues I have with the sun and moon show
I do adore seeing artists I recognize in the thumbnails of their episodes
Best part abt it tbh
#I will give them this it does seem like they are getting better at like storytelling#idk maybe im just liking this particular arc#idk I was just watching old episodes and comparing them to the recent ones and damn they really have improved a whole lot#voice acting and general quality#also just fascinated by how these coworkers have become more comfortable with eachother and have much better chemistry now than before#also I will admit Davis does my favorite sun voice#right up there with kellen tbh#sorry I don’t mean to rant abt tsams I know it’s kind of not everyone’s thing#but man has it sucked me up again gah#fnaf daycare attendant#tsams
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started watching the new live action avatar
it’s. It’s pretty ok I guess? But there’s a lot of things I’m not altogether happy about. It feels very. Generic. Which is kind of sad.
I’m only two episodes in though, so I won’t be too harsh. But there are a few things that I really don’t like, and number one was Aang going into the Avatar State in front of Sokka and Katara for the first time when seeing Monk Gyatso instead of when escaping Zuko, and that moment being isolated instead of the moment everyone in the world knew the Avatar had returned
in the original series, Aang goes into the Avatar State when confronted by irrefutable proof in the form of the skeleton of his best friend and mentor - the airbenders really were massacred and he can no longer deny it.
every statue of the Avatar around the globe lights up in a single moment. the legendary figure’s destined return is announced to the world by an overwhelming outpouring of grief and rage from a young child who just discovered that everyone he ever knew and loved is gone. it’s poignant. the Avatar’s return in that moment is not a triumph. that terrifying show of strength and power, enough to light up the world in its glow, is pure emotional anguish from a small twelve year old, who just saw the dead body of his mentor and now believes he is all alone
and Katara and Sokka having seen the Avatar State before means that there is less of the shock and “what is happening” in this pivotal scene (which was the main focus in the live action). of course Sokka is still concerned about them potentially getting flung off the mountain. but both of them know this reaction for what it is - mysterious power, sure, but primarily, they see and recognize his grief.
I just. what happened to “we’re your family now” and “neither of us are gonna let anything happen to you”??? :(
on a side note, I do feel like Katara and Sokka themselves have been heavily (heh) watered down. it’s a shame. Sokka’s my favourite, and I just think that I. Don’t trust writers with Katara now. (Why is her waterbending a secret? The whole reason she didn’t learn was because there was no one to teach her and she couldn’t leave… also where is her instant connection with Aang… where is their silliness… where did it go…)
however! I did like a couple things that were done and I want to be a bit positive so here
love Zuko and Suki’s actors. they did a great job
Sokka and Suki’s training together was cute ☺️ (though I wish he had worn the uniform of the Kyoshi Warriors…)
Aang himself is adorable :) (wish he got to be a little more silly but Netflix adaptations always are more serious for some reason)
I actually kind of enjoyed getting to see some of the scenes from the war’s outbreak. I prefer the way the original show portrays it, with a lot of info being learned reverse chronologically, but it was cool to see Sozin, and some of the airbenders, and a little more of Gyatso (who I also really enjoyed :’) )
Katara bending water at Aang and it reducing to them splashing each other without even trying to bend. Rare sillies!
I thought Kyoshi herself coming to defend her island was pretty sweet!!!
Katara getting flashbacks to her mother’s death on seeing firebending. Well I don’t like this, obviously, but it clearly shows how her mother’s death haunts her, and if they have Katara face off against Zuko again at the North Pole, it’ll be all the more triumphant.
Suki’s mom!!! Damn she was so cool!!!!!!
#also whyyy was Katara not the first person Aang saw??? this is really important!!!#and what is Katara’s role here. She didn’t even seem to break the iceberg. That’s. That’s her whole. That’s. She. She kickstarts it. Gah.#Katara my beloved my sweetie I don’t know why your writing got fucked up in the comics and now here#you deserve so much better#also why no Aang and Zuko confrontation? hello? that’s really important???#they had him meet Iroh though. so that was actually pretty interesting#no agni kai between Zhao and Zuko either? maybe it’ll happen next episode?#ugh. I actually don’t like a lot of things. But I’ve only watched two episode so I’ll be chill and wait for more#storyrambles#atla#also this is just me being nitpicky but if we were going to actually see gyatso’s death (which. Idk it was more impactful not seeing it tbh#there’s this implication that gyatso may have broken his vow of pacifism since his skeleton was surrounded by tons of fire nation soldiers#implying he may have killed them#it wouldn’t have fit or made sense at the beginning of the show#but if they were going to show his death scene. Idk. Guess I just expected something more substantial#personally from what little we knew of Gyatso it actually does seem likely he’d break his vow if he really did die protecting the children#also. he was supposed to be the strongest airbender at the time. come on now. he just gets roasted?
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It’s actually insane how fandom in general has become so scared of making weird and dark and ugly works. Like I look at myself and see how I have also subconsciously adapted this instinct to self censor and make things “marketable” and it’s making me want to crawl out of my skin. I need to get weirder and worse and more off-putting hello
#I need to write a proper Spectra&Gus meta bc it’s been cooking me how people don’t Want to see the insanity in them#argh#d0 stuff#negative#d0 smashes the keyboard#like yes#Gus’s devotion and loyalty are extreme and these feelings make him do stupid things that he is absolutely aware of being stupid#but let’s not pretend that these feelings go both ways in their relationship#Spectra (for like. the majority of the New Vestroia except the maybe last 12 eps?) sees Gus as a convenient tool#like Yeah he is like. a person and all that but Spectra doesn’t Interact with him when it doesn’t concern his business so#and also yes. he gives Gus a level of autonomy that one might not exactly expect from how usually these relationships go but#one Has to question if it’s bc of his goodwill or bc he is safe in his knowledge that Gus would never leave him#which. fun and sick and makes them sooo compelling#I would also argue that Spectra/Keith don’t even miss Gus when he ‘died’ as a person at first#but as the second pair of hands for work#like it was quite funny to see Spectra give instructions to air only to be reminded that his minion died#but it does rise the question of why hasn’t it happened before or in any other situation#(which I must say I really dig because yes. Spectra has always been centred around his ambitions so ofc this is where it would hurt first)#but yeah. sth sth Spectra only starts his journey of Actually giving a shit about Gus and acknowledging his importance to him as a person#by the end of nv#you could still argue it was partially (or maybe wholly) motivated by convenience that Gus presents but#it really was the first time Spectra has personally expressed his tie to Gus gah#all of this to say#they are sickos; each in their own way; and I think we can really make this more sinister and insane than we’ve allowed ourselves#throughout the years so far#like yeah. can I see them as a happy couple? sure! but also can I see this as a very codependent (more so from Gus’s angle) relationship#that’s being sprinkled with Tons of manipulation from Spectra? also yes#actually sorry for this wall of tags idk what got me thinking about them again#but it’s so so biting the bars day bc these guys are so fun!! we just have to let them be and maybe read canon through less good intentions#ok uhhh
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dude i phrased that sonic v shadow post so wrong. in my head “more skilled” meant shadow relies on more specific skills like gunplay and chaos energy manipulation, and more theoretical knowledge, not that he’s generally more proficient. “raw power” is wholly undescriptive and invokes an image of brute force, which isn’t what i meant. sonic has significantly more actual experience and more honed movement. sonic is a very quick learner, and has dexterity and stamina off the charts. he’s most certainly not unskilled, not in general nor compared to shadow, so i supremely failed if i implied that.
in my head at least, shadow would’ve learned to fight in a controlled environment, if he had physical training at all. i imagine he’d be book smart, had a formal education and shit. either he learned and trained on the ark, or when gerald messed with his memories he implanted fighting knowledge too, baymax style, or something i guess. sonic learned to fight through actual experience, so sonic would be the one with far better battle sense and instincts, it’s like second nature to him rather than a studious pursuit. dude’s graceful as hell, makes everything look easy; no way in hell is he unskilled or less skilled than shadow. shadow’s skill is like, classical, whereas sonic’s is pure schmovement. but idk i’m just thinking aloud.
#rambles#shadow v sonic is more like. top of the class hard worker vs genius prodigy#they get similar scores but if the genius wanted to really apply himself he could be curing cancer or whatever#or something idk. my thoughts are hard for me to understand#more skilled was definitely misspoken. there’s a really narrow definition that i didn’t explain well enough where that rings true#in most other senses sonic is more skilled than shadow yeah#gah i hate realizing i’ve badly miscommunicated an idea i find fun#i need a disclaimer for every post i make like:#(THIS IS A FUN LINE OF THOUGHT I FIND INTERESTING. IT IS NOT ANALYSIS NOR DO I BELIEVE IT. IM PLAYING DOLLS)#dude i miss my old pinned post i’m just saying words recreationally#i don’t believe this post either i say shadow fights classically#but like i don’t know of any teachings that primarily involve kicking people in the back of the head and teleporting#it’s an interesting line of thought that provides an interesting contrast. regardless of if it’s literally true#i’m full of shit basically. i know that. i really don’t want to claim anything else#SORRY.
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#vent#gah.#i. feel like complete n utter shit#don’t even know why#iwas having a Great morning#and then it started storming#and now im. ugh#idk#i don’t even. know what im upset about#im just Upset#and it’s awful#and i hate it#and . i don’t know#i miss my friends#but i don’t want to talk to anyone#i. ggrhrhg#the ideation is getting bad again#i want to go back to sleep#i want. to start over#i was gonna have game night tonigjt#w my brother and all our friends#but ijust#i don’t know#i don’t think we’re doing game night after all#maybe i do want to talk to someone#i just#ugh#someone kill me right here right now
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y’all. it’s midnight. i have an essay worth 70% of my semester 2 ap credit due tomorrow by 2:15 pm. i have about 300-500 words left in the essay one paragraph. should i stay up until i finish it, and spend my study hall editing it. or should i sleep and finish it during study hall and edit during lunch and beginning portion of ap sem (the class period where i have to submit the essay?
#i’m tired.. fairly.#but i still have like . 3 sources i need to include to hit 12 sources .#also. i don’t want tomorrow to be super stressed.#but also. i have a show tomorrow night i don’t wanna be exhausted for it#gah. i thought this was due friday i forgot there’s no school on friday so it has to be submitted tomorrow#idk. ah.#stress. i think i’ll sleep. maybe. guh#if i can’t finish it by 4th period i’ll just stay for 4cs and after school until it’s done so. its fine#i’ll get it done#i have. at least 90 minutes to write 500 words and edit it. i can write 500 words in 20 minutes. i’ll be fine#yeah okay. thumbs up. eep time 🔥🫶#hopefully i’ll get to school on time so i can get coffee
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#also please bare with me#but i also feel like there deserves to be more gay x gay in mexia#media#i feel like lots of people don’t do so because#‘oh it wouldnt be that interesting if theyre the same sexuality since theres nothing to explore if its all the same’#and im just like…#but then byler??#byler have different upbringings and families and their own view of their sexuality#yet still are both gay#mike comes from a finically set home but a tradtional family that lacks connection and emotional presence#will comes from a poor family that despite not having a present father is being raised by a loving mother and brother who accepts and#supports him and are there no matter what#mike isn’t visibly queer as will is#of course theyre gonna process their sexuality different even if they are both gah#gay**#idk#i just dont see much gay x gay#i dont know the real reason for his#this#but this could be a possibility
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#I don’t like being here#My room feels strange#I just want to be free#I just want to be loved#And feel free to love those I want#One of theses days I’ll have my own place#My own room#It’ll be nice#I’ll decorate it#And be able to open my home to those I love#And my heart#Someday#ill get there#ill be free#It just sucks being here#It makes me sad#its fucking hard#Gah#anyways vaguest rant over…#Idk#one day I won’t be under his control and his harm#And it’ll be nice#Holding that tight#It just saddens me I’m a ways off from that…#Things to hold onto…
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apocalypse AU original cast doodles
for like my weird next-gen bad timeline thing I never named
they’re just concept sketches tho so like. they *will* probably be changed at somet point
anywho
enjoy I guess :]
#art#artist#character art#character illustration#traditional art#sketch art#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#leonardo#raphael#donatello#michealangelo#april o’neil#cassandra jones#hamato clan#rise apocalypse AU#rise next-gen AU#um idk what else to put#I gave don hair ?? yeah guess I should explain that#totally wasn’t a self indulgent headcanon or anything#donnie finally gets real eyebrows#but hey these are just concept sketches they’re not actually. AU canon yet#also guh#I just realized I don’t like the way I drew april’s expression#gah why dost my art fail me /jjjjj#ANYWAYS#hope you enjoyed my concept doodles#and inane ramblings#:D
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Haha uhm... 👉👈 would anyone care to hear some of my oc voiceclaim songs..
#random post#ahmm. off the top of my head of ones I haven’t shared. Stormi. Piper. Robin. Nellie. Lucas. Fanny. Symphony and Melody. I haven’t explicitly#shared Elodie’s. I haven’t shared Noel’s. Adalene. Pierre. Carolina. Budgett. Fleur. Dawn#Beau. Bubba. Pinot (I say those last two cus I changed em from the last time lol) idk if I ever explicitly shared Louis’#I’ve got some for Blondees kids notably Chloe. Pearl. Tyler. Lila and Mia#I changed Charlottes voice but I’m still debating it. I changed Casey’s. I have Daphne and Blair. I don’t think I ever explicitly shared#Ellie’s. I got some for John Al and Nina. I’ve got some for Tercero Paulo and Shiho. I got one for Kibi! and Anona. London. Charmaine and#Lorraine. I’ve got one for Ayo and arguably one for both Chaz and Kandy. I’ve got one for Kolten and Adie and Joka#arguably one for Félicien. oh! I have ones for James’ sisters and his son. I got one for Aoife too! I got 2 different ones for Gabriele#and I got some that aren’t songs like Ike and Frances. honestly my shapeshifter god peeps can sound like anything. but they still have VIBES#yknow? like I have some for Teuflisch too that are like him vibes#FUCK that’s still a lot. and I narrowed it to ones I haven’t shared !!! gah. anyways#hell. fuck it yknow what? even ones I’ve shared before. if u don’t wanna have to sift through my whole voiceclaim tag I can just share em#again for u. I really don’t mind at all lol I like sharing them <3
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I can tell it’s summer again because I am being reminded of my first psychotic break !! Oh summer of 2017 you were so confusing for me
#me at ages 13-16 (and also occasionally now but like. I’m ignoring it.) hallucinating and hearing shit and feeling out of touch even when#I’m alone or especially when I’m alone. like ough when I look back at it I remember how young I was how small I felt sitting in the corner#of my bedroom sobbing bc I was so paranoid and I was seeing shit and seeing people and figures and hearing people talking and just generally#freaking out and losing my fucking mind as a child as a very early teen as a barely functioning already depressed and suicidal kid#and like. I’m still alive. like all that shit all that fucked up shit and when I get the little moments now I can brush them off better like#gah idk it’s just so weird cause somewhere in me is that same kid who was terrified of their own mind and the things it was doing and now im#19 and still struggling with all the shit but it’s just at a low enough level that I can keep attempting to live my life (as long as I don’t#have to do anything difficult and nothing goes off the script in my head and everything has to be perfect the first time or I don’t do it.#but other than that. I’m doing so well)
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There’s a BookTuber I’m subscribed to now and she’s so sweet. Like we have fundamentally different priorities (she didn’t immediately get a library card upon moving to a new city??? She hasn’t visited all of the indie bookstores near her, just B&N???), but she’s so cute and so happy and has such an interesting way of doing the parasocial relationships on her videos. CHARMING.
#my taste overlaps with hers on maybe (MAYBE) 1/3-1/2 of the books she’s excited about#but still.#it’s so interesting to also see the influence of pop culture and BookTok and goodreads reviews on what she reads#like it’s so fascinating to me that a book can’t just sound interesting to be bought on one of her bookstore blogs#it has to be interesting AND a recommendation#or interesting AND have good goodreads reviews#the first one: fair#the second one idk! maybe it’s just the books I read or my own taste#but a lot of the time I just don’t like the books that a lot of people adore on goodreads#also I can very much relate to her thought process that she talks about while discussing her haul#of when she buys multiple books by a new author (or is tempted to)#‘nope let’s read ONE and see if we like it first’#or wanting to be a well-rounded reader so reading books that are popular but out of your comfort zone#or like a good library has the classics#side note: why are the B&N signature classics so BEAUTIFUL now#BACK IN MY DAY THEY LOOKED REALLY BORING#the sameness was definitely good for branding but GAH#anyway. it’s a shame I’m trying to set my sleep schedule to rights#because it means I can’t scare myself by reading horror and then soothe myself with tv#unfortunate.
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I’m confused about my sexuality again goddamnit, what is this, 8th grade?
#maybe T is making me gayer#but tbh i was kinda like this pre-T too#I think I’m just not that into women??#Gah idk#I may get proven wrong in the future#labels and identities are fluid and confusing#I guess I just sorta feel bad for calling myself bi but having such a strong preference for men/masc-leaning enbys :/#I don’t even have any fem OCs 💀#my diary
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You're an adult, why would that be their decision? Especially if it'd be helpful for you?
Oh right .
I often forget I’m an adult and not just a slightly more independent child .
#gah. true. true.#I’ll think abt it.#I just don’t want them judging me or thinking I’m making unnecessary purchases yknow#besides I’m also a picky eater and I don’t want to waste food if a meal comes and it’s smth I don’t like#idk.#nebula rambles
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Fuck why can’t I draw the way I want aaaaaaaaaaaa -x- I don’t even know what it is I don’t like about my art which just makes this frustrating
#unusual post#like should I just cave and go back to my old style of rendering#or do I just suck for some time till I don’t suck#or is it just me needing to fundamentally change the way I draw aaahahsghdjdb I wish I had the discipline and energy#to do studies outside of school like maybe that’s the secret ingredient that was needed the whole time#;-; idk I know I said this before lol about my art doesn’t change how stupid I feel about not being satisfied with my art and somewhat#drastically changing it#like can I not make up my mind and just keep improving what I was doing#( ;∀;) idk if I can study animals why can’t I study humans gah#-x- Idk if those count as studies ie just drawing realistic animals with reference#I’m sorry I know I just posted a wip but I’m like a hair away from just starting over
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