#idk. ah.
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y’all. it’s midnight. i have an essay worth 70% of my semester 2 ap credit due tomorrow by 2:15 pm. i have about 300-500 words left in the essay one paragraph. should i stay up until i finish it, and spend my study hall editing it. or should i sleep and finish it during study hall and edit during lunch and beginning portion of ap sem (the class period where i have to submit the essay?
#i’m tired.. fairly.#but i still have like . 3 sources i need to include to hit 12 sources .#also. i don’t want tomorrow to be super stressed.#but also. i have a show tomorrow night i don’t wanna be exhausted for it#gah. i thought this was due friday i forgot there’s no school on friday so it has to be submitted tomorrow#idk. ah.#stress. i think i’ll sleep. maybe. guh#if i can’t finish it by 4th period i’ll just stay for 4cs and after school until it’s done so. its fine#i’ll get it done#i have. at least 90 minutes to write 500 words and edit it. i can write 500 words in 20 minutes. i’ll be fine#yeah okay. thumbs up. eep time 🔥🫶#hopefully i’ll get to school on time so i can get coffee
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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Let me show you one of my original concepts :>
Because. Why not haha👍
Characters refs Masterpost
Next
#ah wait how do I even tag non fandom stuff?#uh#marble sky#marble sky comic#or something?#art#comics#what else#aliens#lol#Idk what to put in the tags so#what are your thoughts on this thing?#I tried to post this on other website but it didn’t really gain much audience lol people was just looking and then silently leaving#I wonder if Tumblr is diffent#Tumblr seems to like aliens much more that Twitter haha
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part of my nimona viewing experience. idk why but i got super emotional in the first five minutes.
ID by @peachygos
[ID: A comic juxtaposing screenshots from Nimona 2023 and drawings of a person watching the movie. The first screenshot is Ambrosius's introduction; he grins at the camera as the news anchors introduce him, his name in big print on the screen. The person watching thinks with a bored expression, "Ah. Ok. This guy is gonna be the jackass. Typical golden-boy stuck-up prince that thinks he's better than the underdog. I see where this is going.
The next screenshot is of Ambrosius and Ballister on the platform above the arena, Ambrosius doing his news anchor bit and saying, "Aaand will Ballister be broody on the biggest day of his life?" Ballister laughs at his antics. The person watching now has a small smile, as they think, "Huh! Aw, they're actually nice to each other and are friends! I wasn't expecting that, that's nice-"
The third and final screenshot is a shot from behind of Ballister leaning his head on Ambrosius's shoulder. The caption reads "the knighting ceremony is just moments away." The person watching now has a touched, soft expression, like they're holding back tears. They think "OH." as a partially transparent doodle behind them bends over crying and blubbering, with another doodle showing their heart shot through with an arrow. /end ID]
#nimona#nimona movie#my art#i dont know WHY the relationship between these two made me so happy. genuinely. but i was tearing up when they held hands#idk man. just- the feeling of 'ah. friendship between these two men like always. i see-' and then#'OH. oh god theyre in love. that so sweet. i wasnt expecting that what the fuck.'#im not an outwardly emotional person
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in the one (1) month since i watched death note for the first time i sure have been doing a fucking posting
bonus:
#death note#rookposting#lawlight#light yagami#l lawliet#i was like oh.. i should crosspost some of my dn shit to tumblr but idk if ive made enough posts to do a comp.#(searches for one second) ah fuck#shoutout to the lovely people who made appearances in this compilation by helping me#hope yall dont mind#by the way im also a pisces bitch so im allowed to say that about him.
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my lovely mutuals and followers and circle of dykes. i am BEGGING YOU to stop reblogging that "NSAIDS while on spiro damages your liver" post. there have been MANY additions in the comments expanding on the risk factors of mixing these medications (and i HIGHLY recommend looking in the comments. @/boringkate assesses the risk beautifully in there, and many others are in the reblogs expanding on the interactions and risks as well). all those aside - the major risk of mixing NSAIDs and any diuretic (not limited to, but including ibuprofen snd spiro) is RENAL (KIDNEY) PROBLEMS!!! NOT LIVER!!! and the most frequent version ive seen to that post does Not do a good enough job clarifying that "renal function" is related to your kidneys, not your liver. there are some effects that will happen on the liver eventually of course, but the premise of the interactions is wrong in and of itself and this kind of misinformation is kind of dangerous to just take at face value/without curiousity
i encourage you to read the actual drugs.com summary on the interactions between NSAIDs and spiro that keeps being referenced in that post (more on this under the cut). it is a moderate interaction manageable with increased hydration (your kidneys love water!) and, if you're taking spiro under the supervision of a doctor, monitoring of your renal function via blood tests. and i understand feeling betrayed learning there are potential interactions between all NSAIDs and diuretics because these risks are often not clearly communicated by doctors themselves, but in the pharmacy and usually in that packet that comes with your meds that most people are more likely to toss than read - but please do not make sudden rapid changes to your healthcare plans or work yourself into a panic on ever taking a pain med ever again based on that post and PLEASE fact check things you read on the internet before spreading it as Health Facts, even if its just looking up what different words mean to understand more of what you're reading. i also really do encourage y'all to read on how kidneys work and this is a really nice overview
the risk of kidney problems mostly occurs if you are (1) taking regular doses of both medications (2) NOT drinking enough fluids (3) not communicating with your doctor about all the medications you are taking. if you are taking spiro as a treatment provided by a doctor and are worried about kidney problems after that post, by all means talk to them and ask about getting a blood test to check your kidneys function/health!! im not discouraging this!! your doctor likely isnt bringing this up in the first place though because (in my cursory glance over the sources) many of these studies cited even in the drugs.com article "specific" to ibuprofen and spiro are about a variety of diuretics interactions with a variety of NSAIDs. the ones that arent paywalled are also either acute case studies about elderly patients on diuretics (so who Already have kidney problems/elimination issues) who developed heart issues after diuretics treatement or observational studies specifically on men in good health ages 20-38 to specifically look at drug interactions in the body. in the more acute cases, with proper management/alternative medications almost every single case was reversible and resolvable. many of these medications in these papers also are ones I have not heard of or taken, so i did look up every single drug i didnt recognize by name references to confirm my initial assumption that the reason this is labeled a Moderate instead of low risk interaction is because All NSAIDS and diuretics have potential interactions (confirmed also that the major effect is that NSAIDS have the potential to reduce the efficacy of diuretics, which leads to fluid and salt retention, which can lead to other issues - namely heart issues in the most extreme cases) with variable effects based on specific combination of the drugs used, the patients specific health, and the dosage (not just the size of dose, but the timing as well).
as an aside: if you habitually are taking frequent (read: daily/scheduled, not a one off for a headache or other body pains) doses of OTC NSAIDs, Regardless of taking diuretics, you NEED to tell your doctor because even though its available over the counter (at least in the US) it is still a major medication in your life/relevant to your physiochemistry!! OTC medications are often overlooked by doctors and people alike because they are seen as ubiquitous and to many doctors OTC pain meds, like NSAIDS, are assumed be used in acute pain situations where the dosage is minimal/infrequent enough it will likely have little to no long term effect with other medications.
#bunny rambles#pls read the whole thing if u saw that and are feeling scared ;~;#I'm really anxious this is gonna be taken in the worst possible ways but im also.. deeply anxious! because misinformation like this is scar#and makes people unnecessarily scared and it was a total mistake - nd the one commenter I'm thinking of even mentioned that it didnt do the#best job at clarifying - but people are still rbing the post with it's addition that doesn't really help and i just. really cant not share#anyway if ur wondering my “expertise” or whatever im a biochemist and have been studying science (not enthusiastic interest but like. doing#research. reading papers. learning the field of biology/biochem since 18 (i got really lucky with getting into a research program my 1st yr#of college and thats when i started to read papers and critically assess scientific texts also))#i dont like. using my experience sometimes cause im so scared of being taken as bossy or just. completely wrong bc im not a like World#Known Scientist or anyone even significant in the field im a tech still but like. idk. i just want my circles at least to have more info#to be able to make informed decisions#im sorry this is so long too i just. ah#im so nervous and it shows lol#celebrity bun
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she yoo... on my han... till i kim.................
#sorry i lowkey i have nothing smart or edgy to say HELP MEEE 😓😓#u know that one twelfth nights image w anne hathaway yeah this is that IDK IF ANYONES DONE IT YET ???AH#anw....... im not working on this anymore goodnight#orv#omniscient readers viewpoint#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#han sooyoung#yoohankim#joongdok#doksoo#yoohan#uhhhhh idk what else to tag 😟#my art#omniscient reader
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You know what they say: a spicy sketch a day keeps the doctor away 😉
#They don’t but hey I mean….why not#damian wayne#raven#damirae#demonbirds#dc#teen titans#older!alert#yikes so sexy#idk how many times I’ve drawn Raven in lingerie but it might be a tad too many times lol#also yes long haired!older Raven#I kinda like her with long hair?#She’s so hot lmao#damirae is a good couple if you’re bi hahahahahaha#Bc they’re both so fuckin hot#ah you know me when it comes to art when it rains it POURS#but then there’s some serious droughts#sorry so sorry#my man’s GRIP on her thigh tho#anyways please enjoy this slight spice sketch#I’m gonna shut up now
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So anyways the reason I talked abt Ronin is because I binge watched Possession again and I realized. I have never drawn this bastard man. So here’s that (ignore that I didn’t add his hat it was annoying me)
+ me remembering that the Dobson brothers are all VAs that act in Ninjago as completely different characters and how much funnier certain dialogue gets with that context.
#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago possession#ninjago fanart#ninjago ronin#ronin ninjago#nya ninjago#ninjago nya#nya smith#wu ninjago#ninjago wu#master wu#like fr rewatch ninjago but keep in mind that wu ronin and pythor’s VAs are siblings irl#paul (wu’s va) is the oldest and i’m pretty sure he gets called old by pythor too plenty of times#ah. siblings.#(i know that it’s for the actual characters but i like to imagine them just calling him old#and the directors deciding ‘’yk what why not keep that in’’)#also idk if this needs to be said but don’t tag as ship? idk i feel like there’s some weirdos out there#who see nya and ronin as a possible item and just. stop. get out of my blog. thanks.#cablart
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i like mizukana a normal amount
#I LOEV THEM SO UCM YOU HAVE NO IDEA . UGH MIZUKANA I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUR DYNAMIC#they are so special to me chat.#theyre very underlooked as a niigo monoship but i love them so much#project sekai#prsk fa#proseka#pjsk fanart#kanade yoisaki#prsk#25 ji nightcord de#mizuki akiyama#nightcord at 25:00#mizukana#kanamizu#(idk which one to tag)#niigo kanade#niigo mizuki#knade is so pathetic .she is so pickable upable ahe is so wet cat coded to me
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life is too short. turn your random favorite musicians into vampire high schoolers from an early 2000s cartoon series. make them friends. have fun with it
As you could guess I couldn't get THE vampire trio drawing out of my head .. had to do something about it .. because I like having fun
Bunny, Gee and Sunny !! Look how fun
A thing me and @saturday-byte were thinking about for the past couple days !!
@bellasboneyard also tagging you in this miss Bella, since you reblogged my other post on the topic 😸
Sunny and Gee are only photogenic when they don't know there's a camera on them
#art#fanart#spg#will wood#my chemical romance#mcr#in a way at least#gerard way#isabella bunny bennett#will wood fanart#mcr fanart#spg fanart#vampire#charactet design#idk man#my art#im so serious when i say this little concept is a literal brainrot#ah yeah lets take the spooky pretty lady the tom leher on drugs and the king of emos and put them together#thats how its done#im cringe but im free
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I have so many things i was supposed to do today but spent the afternoon doodling my favorite goobers kissing instead 😔
#i forgor jonnys eye markings in the left corner.. ah well#the mechs#jonny d'ville#ashes o'reilly#gunpowder tim#idk how to draw kissing so dont actually look at any of these ok
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kitamoto does make me so emotional. natsume says some embarrassingly earnest shit that reveals how undersocialized he is and kitamoto's reaction is to spend more time with him and introduce him to friendship. when someone who appears to be a girl his age tells him she's never read a book before, he's like oh okay, and then the next day he gives her a book with easy-to-read stories in a genre she said sounded interesting. he not only doesn't judge people but he also actively meets them where they're at...i love this sweet teenager so much i could cry.
#he's like huh. what a weirdo. i'm going to respect the shit out of them#he and nishimura taught natsume how to ride a bike. remember that? because i do.#natsume is like will i ever be able to tell him about the youkai? and idk if he means youkai in general or specifically kaeda#but either way. kitamoto would be the absolute chillest person to tell. he's so accepting. even if he thought it was natsume's delusions#he would just like. be so fucking supportive ah goddammit i'm gonna cry again#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#kitamoto atsushi#my posts#f
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What is he even talking about
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HUZZAH I FINISHED IT
explodes
H ELP
wh y does it
why does it dilute the colors so much when i put it here
i m
ghggGHRGEGKKJFVIFKJ
#Aaagjiughjhhdjw#HELP#this happens averu time#and then later im like n ah its fine#Bu t i feel like the colors are dull💥💥💥💥💥💥#Or theresomething i dont like about it 💥💥💥💥💥#Idk#blows up#Myart#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#Help wanted 2#fnaf helpwanted#five nights at freddy's#fnaf sun#Fnaf moon#Idk wha t to tag this ☠️☠️☠️
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PARDON???
#guys i aint tweakin idk what you mean#15 DAYS???#tehe ok im ok#TOTALLY#fine#ah yes very normal 18 yro over here#miraculous ladybug#adrien agreste#miraculous#miraculous lb#chat noir#ladybug and chat noir#marinette dupain cheng#miraculous london edge of time#miraculous special
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