#gENUINELY I DONT KNOW WHERE I GOT IT OFF BUT

[i2rizz]

Ultraviolence

Fandom: Blue lock

Characters: Shidou x reader

Yes its yet another one shot based on a song

Please dont get in relationships like this one!

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The world always seemed a little too loud when you were with him—Shidou Ryusei. He thrived in chaos, a hurricane of sharp grins, bruised knuckles, and laughter that was both beautiful and terrifying. And you? You were the calm in his storm, though sometimes it felt like he was pulling you into the very eye of it.

He’d told you once, drunk off adrenaline after a late-night fight, “I’m poison, baby. But you? You make it taste sweet.”

It wasn’t a compliment. It was a warning.

The first time you met Shidou, he was bleeding. You had stumbled upon him leaning against a wall outside a bar, his knuckles split and a wicked smirk plastered across his face.

“You look awful,” you’d said, unable to stop yourself.

He looked up, his pink eyes gleaming under the dim streetlight, and for a moment, you thought he might laugh. Instead, he’d said, “You’re beautiful. Got a cigarette?”

You didn’t smoke, but you stayed anyway. And that was your first mistake.

Shidou had a way of making everything feel like a game. Love, anger, pain—they all blurred together in his world. He was reckless and unapologetic, and you found yourself drawn to him despite every red flag screaming at you to run.

“Do you love me?” you’d asked one night, your voice barely audible over the sound of the rain outside.

He’d tilted his head, his grin softening into something almost genuine. “Of course I do. You’re mine.”

But his love wasn’t soft or gentle. It was consuming, like fire. He had a temper that matched his passion, and though he never raised a hand against you, the fights left bruises on your soul.

“You make me crazy, y’know that?” he’d said once, slamming his fist into the wall next to your head during an argument.

And yet, when he’d pulled you into his arms moments later, whispering apologies into your hair, you’d stayed.

Because his chaos felt like home.

Shidou was magnetic, and you weren’t the only one who thought so. His world was filled with admirers, people who saw him as untouchable, invincible. But they didn’t see the side of him that you did—the boy who crawled into your bed in the middle of the night, his hands trembling from a fight gone too far.

“I’m bad for you,” he’d muttered once, his head resting on your lap as you gently traced the scars on his arms.

“I know,” you’d replied. But you stayed anyway.

Because his love was all you’d ever known.

The night it all fell apart, you were waiting for him at the diner where you always met. He was late, as usual, but when he finally burst through the door, something was different.

His knuckles were bloody, his lip split, but it wasn’t the injuries that scared you. It was the look in his eyes—wild, unhinged, like a cornered animal.

“We gotta go,” he said, grabbing your wrist and pulling you outside.

“Shidou, what’s going on?”

“No time,” he snapped, but his grip on your wrist softened. “Trust me, okay?”

And you did. God help you, you did.

You never found out exactly what happened that night. All you knew was that Shidou had crossed a line, even for him. The car ride was silent except for the sound of your breathing and the occasional curse muttered under his breath.

When he finally stopped the car, you were in the middle of nowhere. He turned to you, his expression softer than you’d ever seen it.

“I love you,” he said, and for once, there was no grin, no trace of his usual arrogance.

“I know,” you replied.

And then he kissed you, hard and desperate, as if it was the last time.

Shidou disappeared that night, leaving nothing behind but a note scrawled on the back of a receipt: “You deserve better, baby. Don’t wait for me.”

You didn’t cry. Not at first. But as the days turned into weeks, the reality of his absence hit you like a freight train.

You knew he’d never be the man you needed him to be. His love was beautiful, violent, and ultimately destructive. But a part of you would always belong to him, no matter how much it hurt.

Because some loves aren’t meant to last—they’re meant to burn.

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Ultraviolence- Lana Del Rey

[qcoded]

Can you please draw Kid Emperor Belos in Ash Ketchum's costume? They have the same energy of a child who never gets old.

Wait, after I put it that way, I also remembered about Peter Pan. Hey, the Collector could be Peter Pan! Peter had a sentient shadow, and the Collector was a shadow while he was sealed.

Ahhh i didn't have the energy to make a full drawing of Collie, but I think the chibi turned out cute 😭

i was genuinely giggling while drawing kid belos LOL

[ohmigoshiloveu]

Okay so like. I still haven't managed to get myself to finish episode 9, so I don't fully know how Theo's glow up finishes, but regardless I fucking love relistening to Emizel's section of episode 1 and like. Fuck man Theo does a lot of growing. Like he's a little bit pathetic at the beginning of the series. He's so, so brave during the alleyway fight, but he sounds shaky and scared and like a sopping wet pathetic baby the entire time. Charlie specifically describes him as not very alert, not a great fighter, and gives him this little moment where it takes him a second to manage to crush a soda can. He botches the check to beat Emizel in Smash Bros so there's a chance he sucks at the related skills (dexterity and computers I think?), but also after he loses Charlie specifically has him sound super frustrated and conclude that he should've 'stayed in his lane'. When Emizel says 'We'll do what we do best,' and Theo immediately responds with 'drink soda?' so fast that the other players notice it. Charlie might've had that as a predetermined character thing. Theo drinks soda. There's not much else to him.

Which creates this interesting dynamic between him and Emizel, because Emizel is so much better at him at all of these skills that the people around them (a FUCKING GANG) value. Emizel's perceptive, and agile, and strong, and a great fucking fighter irl and in videogames AND he always sounds badass. He's the top dog, the apex predator in their social circle. And I think that colors their relationship a lot? Like Theo has to look up to Emizel. I bet that Theo's looked up to Emizel since they first met, maybe Emizel came crashing into his life doing something epic and Theo thought it was the greatest shit ever.

On the flip side, I was getting a few hints of resentment? Hear me out! It's that 'should have just stayed in my lane' line. He's painfully aware how great Emizel is, compared to how much he's (from his perspective!) just a one trick pony. He's here to drink soda and say funny things, that's all most people want from him and he fucks up whenever he tries to do anything else!

And later in the segment Theo snarkily brings up a medicine check that Emizel had just fucked up in like this super backhanded, super passive aggressive way. That could be him wanting to rub Emizel's one singular fuck up in his face (especially because Theo was having a Moment about how he feels like people only see him as the soda guy, so any feelings of inadequacy would've been dialed up to eleven, so if there was any time for him to resent Emizel it'd be then), but it could also be that he was frustrated with Emizel being an ass (Emizel had just guessed that Theo's dream was to be a nurse, which was flat out wrong, and that's literally what set up the backhanded comment. Theo was saying something like 'thank fuck you don't wanna be a nurse cuz you sure fucked up with nursing that guy earlier.' It could also be that Emizel literally almost forgot Theo's name. Theo literally gave him the 'th' sound, it might've just been a bit Charlie was doing or it could've been Theo being AWARE that Emizel almost forgot his name. Or! It could be that in this moment, where Theo was confiding in Emizel about feeling like being the soda guy was all anyone ever saw in him, Emizel said something to the affect of 'well yeah Soda's the fun one.' Emizel doesn't think before he speaks and literally has a 1 in empathy. Just because he loves Theo doesn't mean he's not gonna blunder into being a complete and utter asshole to him. I'd hazard to say Emizel accidentally being an ass to people he cares about is a running theme).

But also all of that might come down to Charlie still getting the character down. Or, because I've theorized before that Theo might not've been supposed to survive the first Gabriel fight, the little hints of bitterness might've been intentional (even if they were completely improvved and Charlie didn't mean to add that to Theo's character) because Charlie was trying to shove as much character into this character before he was gone, but once it became clear that Theo was going to stick around longer he dropped it. As far as I remember, that bitterness is completely gone in all later interactions we see with Theo. OR! It could be that the bitterness drops because they've both got bigger fish to fry from that point onward, what with Theo's Shilo Incident TM, Emizel's vampirism, the Weylin twins. He doesn't have time to be bitter, he's too busy worrying about losing a cornerstone of his identity or helping his best friend adjust to being a fucking vampire now. And then after he learns to live without soda that basically negates his feelings of inadequacy- like, getting over the idea that he's nothing if he's not the soda guy would be required for him to give up on being the soda guy. And then Emizel would drift back into JUST being a guy to aspire to instead of also being a reminder of Theo's short comings, and then drift even further down into being 'guy who is actually going through it and has to overcome his own demons just like I had to overcome mine'. Like, I think we got to watch Theo slowly start to take Emizel off this pedestal in real time (he still definitely thinks Emizel's hot shit tho. Emizel's his boy, after all.)

Regardless, even if Theo did resent Emizel a little in the beginning, it's so fucking clearly overshadowed by how much he fucking loved him. And like, how could he not? Imagine you're Theo, critically low self esteem, and the literal coolest guy you know fucking LOVES you. Like, Emizel keeps consistently going out of his way to pull Theo up to his level and to treat him as an equal (mostly. Sometimes protectiveness bleeds through, like in his hypothetical fang scenario in ep 1 where he predicts there being five Fangs to fight and he says he can take three and Theo can take two (which in itself is still incredibly kind to Theo. Like, boy, you thought Theo was gonna be able to take out two whole guys? Hell no.) But that could also be chalked up to Emizel just being a cocky ass who wants to show off). Like dude, c'mon. Emizel might be a reminder of everything that Theo's not, but he's also probably Theo's biggest cheerleader. He wholeheartedly thought he was being supportive when he said he thought Theo'd make a great nurse! In all seriousness, though, even if it ultimately discourages him, Theo playing that Smash game against Emizel was at least a little bit of proof of him decidedly not 'staying in his lane,' and Emizel seems to inspire that! Later in that segment he challenges Theo to see which of them can break one of the Fangs kneecaps first! I bet Emizel challenged him to stupid competitions a lot, and that got Theo fired up and competitive in return!

And even when Emizel's not building Theo up, he's still giving Theo special attention, or readily receiving any attention Theo gives him. If nothing else, even at his lowest points that might've made Theo feel cool by association.

On Emizel's part, I think he's like, possibly completely oblivious to any turmoil Theo's going through? Like he thinks Theo's the shit and genuinely sees him as an equal. I'm 99% sure that Theo being his right hand man happened because Theo would've put himself into the role (in episode one before he gets all of his character development he's pretty much always looking to Emizel for what to do, and still more or less does whatever he says up to where I'm at in the series, with refusing to leave the alleyway being the only exception I remember). I think if Theo'd had higher self esteem or been less eager to defer to Emizel, Emizel would've happily gone about his business slotting Theo into more of a partner role. He tells Theo to run from that alleyway because Theo'd taken a fucking devastating hit and Emizel was sure he could handle himself, not because he knows Theo sucks at fighting. He tries to turn Theo into a cool vampire. He convinces Shilo that Theo'll be a valuable asset to raiding the Weylin warehouse and they take Theo with them instead of having him stay behind with the car like Grefgore, despite Theo being the one who actually knows how to drive. He tells Theo about being a vampire even though he keeps it a secret from everyone else, confides in Theo that 'yeah he might absolutely be susceptible to going into a frenzy like Shilo did.'

When you get down to it, Emizel pretty much tells Theo everything he would think is relevant, with two notable exceptions. Maybe three if you count him not telling Theo he has nine lives like a cat but tbh I think he might've just forgot. Or maybe he gets to it later, or maybe he did tell him and I forgot! idk man! But! Those other two things. First off, he like. Pointedly does not tell Theo that he's a prince. Like when they were doing the recap on the way to the Weylin warehouse, there's like. Charlie gives Condi an opening to say it, a little 'is there anything else?' and Emizel just. Doesn't. And the second one is that (at least where I'm at) Emizel never comes clean about bloodbonding Theo. Maybe it just hasn't come up yet, but still. It fits a pattern of Emizel not wanting to admit something that makes him, like, ABOVE Theo somehow. He sees Theo as an equal, and a precious one at that, he doesn't want things to get weird between them because he's literal royalty, and he doesn't want Theo's life to literally revolve around him like it would under a level three blood bond- and doesn't want to admit that he even considered it, even if he did it without really understanding what it was.

And Emizel backing off from ghoulifying Theo after Arthur explains what it actually entails kinda leads into a far more headcanon-y relationship analysis thing so um. Feel free to skip the next paragraph.

So! Like. Why the fuck was Emizel so attached to Theo being Soda. Like he gets over it decently quick, cuz that's his buddy and it's what Theo wants, so like. Whatever. But like, if I'm right about Theo always looking up to Emizel from the moment they met, there might've been some wiggle room between when they first became friends and when Theo became Soda. And like, before Theo became Soda, being Emizel's buddy would probably be the only thing he'd feel he had going for him? Which would've made it even harder for Emizel to get them both on equal footing, and I think that's just... really unappealing to him. Like! Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Emizel loves having people kiss up to him and respect him and blah blah blah, I just think Theo being his boy and Emizel treating him like a partner go hand in hand. Either they weren't best friends yet or Emizel was just. Kind of uncomfortable and eager to push Theo into growing into something more than a hypeman. And then the soda incident occurs, and it gives Theo SOMETHING to define himself by, something people like him and know him for that's got nothing to do with Emizel, and maybe the initial soda incident was bad, but having that sense of identity and falling into what kind've feels like a class clown kinda role might've helped get Theo over his self esteem issues long enough for Emizel to go 'oh you're actually super cool. sweet.' and then blah blah blah they get super close like they are in canon. And then whenever Theo seems like he's backsliding into what he was before the soda incident, Emizel tries to course correct not because he doesn't think Theo's any fun without soda, but because he's made the mental connection that Soda without soda turns into less of a best friend and more of a follower, which as stated before he probably really doesn't want from Theo specifically. but idk. pure conjecture here.

Anyways, above all else, Theo's important to Emizel. I really, really like the idea that Theo was supposed to be like a brother to him (which. Again pointing at my 'Theo was supposed to die in episode 1' theory, can you IMAGINE the angst Emizel could've had about that? Lose one brother and then someone else claiming to be your brother shows up? It would've felt like some hellish, not-worth-it trade. Like a betrayal, like accepting Shilo might mean replacing Theo, and how could he ever?)

And Emizel's important to Theo! But unlike Emizel (who I'm 99% sure is gonna have some kinda moment with Theo but I genuinely cannot see him loving Theo in any other way than the way he does now), Theo has the bonus of having his view of Emizel have a clear trajectory to evolve over the course of the campaign. Like I said, he seems to be getting more confidence in himself and like, not gonna get into the stuff I've had spoiled beyond episode 9 but it seems like Theo's gonna get a lot more comfortable being a proper leader and not just a number two. He's gonna have an easier time seeing Emizel as an equal, and I think that's fucking awesome!

I could be completely off base, but if I never watch another episode then I'll never be proven wrong. So. Ya know.

[cator99]

I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care

[tenrose]

I hate living in this world.

[bmpmp3]

i think its really fitting that the "this shit........ is so ass :'') " anime girl reaction image is from oshi no ko because that is also what my expression was like the whole time while reading the entire last third of the story

[hella1975]

my mum: you've been doing really good lately. every part of your life is really stable and you seem genuinely happy, it's great to see :)

me, who's felt like ive been going actually crazy bananas insane for months now: yeah haha

[phagodyke]

waking up and remembering I have to live the rest of my life today and tomorrow and so on ☹️

[ttimecode]

I come to the GNB fandom from the Napoleonic wars fandom (like the real historical events) and I see your blog and your name is MILO like MILORADOVICH like GENERAL MILORADOVICH THE HERO OF THE 1812 WAR Im going insane Im so sorry anyway I love your art

ANON I HOPE YOU KNOW I'M GIGGLING RN THANK YOU (/POS) to be honest i don't know much about him or the history of the napoleonic wars but i'm glad to learn something new :]

also i found it interesting that his birthday is only 2 days after mine... hmmm

[toytulini]

name some canonically nonbinary characters why dont you

[bunnyb34r]

Knock on wood, but I think this has been one of the most peaceful and pleasant birthdays I've had

Too hot to go to the outlet mall like usual and I don't feel like going anywhere really so we're just chilling at home and I gotta be honest, it's pretty great

[just-your-average-tangerine]

I want to go to a dance party at the only gay bar in town tonight but I'm supposed to work.

I could easily call out, and I have plenty of sick time available. But with this being a smaller city that has only one gay bar, I'm much more likely to get caught and get written up for improper use of sick leave. Plus, my first job that I worked enough to actually have called out, the manager just wouldn't let me call out. Like, I'd try, and she'd just say no, I need you to come in anyway, and then yell at me for trying to call out when I know theres no one to cover for me. So, even though that was years ago and an entirely different job, I'm still really paranoid that I'm not going to be allowed to call out or that I'll get in trouble for it.

[mintedwitcher]

I am violently wrestling Evan Buckley out of Tim Minear's hands until that man can give him a love interest who doesn't just fuck off at random okay thanks.

[silverislander]

have discovered a new enemy while doing research for the honours essay. why are you pretending to understand psychology and BLATANTLY misinterpreting actual terms and concepts in order to tear down a movie aimed at teenage girls, my good bitch. i'm going to start biting

[beatcroc]

dropped my p-rank full combo getting hit on the literal last enemy in the stage but im being so brave about it

[beachesgetpeaches]

grant ward i hate you but i love you