#funny quotes on love
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done healing my inner child. next up is my inner teen. her highness demands a sword.
#aesthetic#dark academia#light academia#spilled ink#thoughts#writers on tumblr#words#quotes#text#life quotes#life#funny memes#memes#relatable#girlblogging#girl interrupted#desiblr#desi#soft aesthetic#soft feminine#femme fatale#writing#txt#quoteoftheday#quote#poetry#divine feminine#just girly things#mental health#self love
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To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.
Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.
Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.
Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.
The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.
The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.
#batman#dc comics#batfam#bruce wayne#dcu#batfamily#dc robin#jason todd#dick grayson#nightwing#good dad bruce wayne#funny Batman#god I love them#Jon Kent#red hood#red robin#tim drake#damian wayne#batman and robin#robin#robin dc#dc azrael#duke thomas#signal dc#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect batman quotes#incorrect dc quotes
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Calypso: The stars are beautiful tonight.
Odysseus: You know who else is beautiful?
Calypso (blushing): Who?
Odysseus: Penelope.
#incorrect epic quotes#epic the musical incorrect quotes#epic#epic the musical#epic the wisdom saga#epic: the musical#epic: the wisdom saga#jorge rivera herrans#odysseus#the odyssey#calypso#odyssey#ody#love in paradise#epic musical#odypen#penelope#ody is penny's biggest simp lmao#he's penelope-sexual#odysseus x penelope#kinda funny#as all things should be
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#funny#lol#haha#humor#meme#memes#animals#cute animals#art#draw#drawing#artists on tumblr#wholesome#aww#love#adulthood#tweet#twitter#naturecore#cottagecore#words#quotes#books#book quotes
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*Talia visiting Damian*
Talia: Damian, how are you? *glares at Dick*
Damian: I am doing well mother
Dick: *from behind him* *mouthing: why the fuck are you here?*
Talia: oh that's great! I see you have a new pet? *Mouthing back: to see MY son*
Damian: this is Haley, Grayson's dog, she's staying with me while he goes on a mission.
Dick: *flipping Talia off where Damian can't see* yep, he's so good with animals
Talia: I'm aware *throws a knife at him*
Dick: *throws it back*
#Dick hates Talia its so funny that he loves damian so much#dick grayson#nightwing#talia al ghul#damian wayne#robin#batman#dc comics#comics#damian knows what their doing but hes not touching that drama for anything#they have beef spanning decades bruce can deal with it#bruce: *walks in* *sees Dick and Talia in the same room* *walks out*#bruce wayne#incorect quote#incorect batfam#batfam#batfamily#dicks beef is canon btw. he hates her and ras. he is brutalias number one hater he wants her out of their lives#i saw a compilation of dick hating talia and i was like `its so funny that he loves damian when he lothes talia`#they promised not to fight in front of Damian.... they never agreed to not fight behind or over him
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#adams family#funny#lol#haha#humor#meme#memes#goth#gothic#halloween#spooky#love#relationship#dank memes#dark humor#alternative#soft grunge#grunge#words#quotes#books#books and quotes#movies#tv shows
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Tumblr es una mezcla entre un psiquiátrico, un prostíbulo y un diario. A cuál pertenecen?
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#funny#lol#haha#humor#meme#memes#dank memes#dark humor#tweet#twitter#wholesome#aww#love#words#quotes
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#intimacy#love#quotes#relatable memes#lol memes#tumblr memes#memes#meme#dank memes#funny memes#intimate#humor#funny shit#ha ha funny#funniest#funny stuff#funny#funny post#feelings#feelingsoftheday#love quotes#quoteoftheday#relatable quotes#october#hahaha#haha#lol#couple#comedy#cute
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So real
#spongebob#spongebon squarepants#love quotes#life quotes#inspiring quotes#book quote#quotes#words#funny#therapy
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hookup culture is actually wild to me because I have to literally be in love to even hold someone's hand.
#spilled ink#thoughts#writers on tumblr#words#quotes#text#quote#quoteoftheday#romantic academia#aesthetic#dark academia#light academia#memes#literature#divine feminine#just girly things#girlcore#girl interrupted#poets on tumblr#poem#desiblr#desi#life quotes#self love#funny memes#relatable
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All I want is this
#girls who smoke weed#hot smokers#smoke a joint#smoke weed everyday#smoke#cute#memes#kawaii#lovers#funny#blowing smoke#nature#joint#weedsociety#weedlife#green#couple#love#love quotes#so hot and sexy
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