#funny acotar

[acourtofmishapandmistakes]

Azriel: How are you going to carve that giant pumpkin?

Cassian: The same way I make onion rings.

Cassian: *grabs chainsaw*

[incorrectacotarblog]

Cassian: the word daddy has been so sexualized

Cassian: my kids are gonna have to call me bruh or something

[jules-writes-stories]

Inspired by @secret-third-thing ‘s commentary about ACOTAR clothing: “well it could be a JC Penney ad or something else...”

Scene: Feyre wants to show the Night Court that the Inner Circle is just a “normal, everyday family” and insists they get family portraits taken at JC Penney, Velaris. That’s what normal families do, right?

Inner Circle reactions:

Amren hates this.

Nesta also hates this.

Cassian is wild with excitement and buys himself and Nesta matching sweaters. He also brings a duffle bag with a change of clothes that include coordinating shirts for himself, Rhys, and Az. Did I mention Cass is pumped?

Mor shows up drunk. She looks surprisingly put together (but has lipstick on her teeth).

Azriel is low key excited, and researches ways to smile naturally, for 14 hours straight. When he finally attempts to smile, he over thinks it and looks like a serial killer.

They run into Eris, who is currently getting pet portraits done with his 12 hounds. He takes great joy in not telling Mor she has lipstick on her teeth. Azriel smiles at him. Eris is unwell and confused.

Nesta still hates this.

Amren still hates this, but is into the small combs. She steals 37 of them, simply because she can.

Rhys threatens to “break into each of their minds if they don’t start smiling with their g_ds damned eyes.”

Elain and Lucien show up, smile, and then make a quick exit. They get bubble teas at the food court and Elain asks Lucien to ride the carousel with her.

3 hours later: Feyre decides that it’s easier to just paint everyone’s portrait. “Never mind” she says breezily… “let’s go to Cinnabon instead.”

Cassian is once again wild with excitement.

[lunaduskxo]

Feyre: Where’s Azriel tonight?

Elain & Nesta: Oh no, here we go…

Cassian: *singing* HE’S WORKING LATE CAUSE HE’S A SHADOWSINGER!!

Cassian would totally be a Sabrina Carpenter fan 🤣

[shipperoffanonships]

Ahehe

Morning after Cassian stays over Rhys's and Feyre's:

Rhys: So, Feyre, you left our room in the middle of the night. Feyre: Uh, yeah. Rhys: *clearly trying to hold his temper* To Cassian's room. Cassian: Yep. Rhys: After which, the bed began creaking. Mind telling me what the fuck that was?! Cassian: Oh, yeah. Last night was wild. Feyre: Definitely. Last night* Cassian: I bet you can't jump high enough to reach the ceiling. Feyre: Oh, yeah? Watch me.

[dees-side-account]

Waiting for the day I get to claim my triple decker bat sandwich.

Thank you for your gander.

[dees-side-account]

Pass it on, bb.

Eris Vanserra is hot pass it on

[acomaflove]

A few months after Nyx’s birth

Feyre: Rhys, we have a problem.

Rhysand: With what?

Feyre: Remember how we put child-proof locks on all the cabinets and doors?

Rhysand: Yes.

Feyre: Well, now Cassian is complaining that he can’t open our cabinets.

Rhysand: I fail to see how that is a problem. In fact, I’d call that an improvement.

Cassian, struggling to open their wine cabinet in the other room: I’M JUST GONNA BREAK IT

[ruhnlidiasworld]

“Azriel can't have a book because SJM only have female protagonist”

Chaol Westfall somewhere in the MaasVerse:

[clockwork-ashes]

i imagine lucien loved to annoy eris as a kid. like, eris is reading? no, he isn’t, lucien is trying to tell him a story now. eris is eating?? he can’t, lucien wants him to share. eris is existing in public??? not without lucien trying to hold his hand or grab onto his leg.

[acourtofmishapandmistakes]

Cassian: So... I've seen you've been spending a lot of time with Rhys recently.

Feyre: No, Cassian, it's not what it looks like. I swear.

Cassian: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?

Feyre: No! You're the only one for me.

Cassian: Is that so?

Feyre: I promise. Rhysand and I are just bonded, okay? He's my mate.

Cassian: So there are no best-friend-feelings involved?

Feyre: You are still my one and only best friend! He's just the love of my life, nothing more!

Cassian: But I'm still the platonic love of your life, right?

Feyre: Of course!

Rhys:

Rhys: What the-

[incorrectacotarblog]

Cassian: ran into Azriel in the kitchen at 1 a.m. and when I asked him what he was doing he shrugged and said “these are my roaming hours”

[azrielsshadows42]

Cassian: What's a word that begins with 'N' and ends with 'G'?

Azriel: Why?

Cassian: I picked Nyx up from school today, and he said that nothing starts with 'N' and ends with 'G'

Azriel: Cassian, nothing starts with 'N' and ends with 'G'

Cassian: There has to be something

Azriel: No, Cassian, you don't under-

Cassian: I know I'm right Az, and I will find a word that-

Azriel: Numbing

Cassian: See!

Azriel: No, this conversation has been numbing, there are many words that start with 'N' and end with 'G', Cassian, and nothing, is one of them

Cassian: ...

Cassian: That little shit

[copypastus]

@officialrhysandweek Day 7 - Free Day

Following @praetorqueenreyna's vision I redrew some romantic comedy posters with a Rhysta flavor.

Happy Rhysand Week!

[high-queen-feyre]

Look guys! I found the inside of Rhysand's brain!

I just know dude is HIGH KEY obsessed with Feyre being the love of his life and his little family of three.

[aprill-99]

Rhys: “So let’s see if I’ve got this; you have immense shadow power, incredible combat skills, height, tattoos, secrets, dead parents, a thirst for vengeance, the weight of the world on your shoulders, a rebellion to lead, and a dragon?”

Xaden: “Yeah? I mean, there’s also my girlfriend who I’m completely in love with and 107 people under my protection but-”

Rhys: *frantically flipping through papers* “this is the hyper-intelligent girlfriend with unprecedented lightning powers? The one you speak to with your mind and call a nickname permanently?”

Xaden: “I do only have the one girlfriend. Kinda offended you’d think otherwise.”

Rhys: *signs a paper* “Adopted. The rebellion thing is handled. Me and your aunts and uncles have got this. Your new mom is going to need some time to add you and your mate to the family portrait gallery. Your bedroom is upstairs, knives are in the training ring, family dinner is every Thursday, your allowance is infinity and your curfew is never.”

Xaden: “I am…. Older than your wife?”

Rhys: “Did I fucking stutter?”