#funniest thing that could have ever possibly happened

[oldbutchdaniel]

me and my roommate are watching far from the madding crowd and we're far enough near the end that i assumed they'd finished with michael sheen's character so i said out loud "i'm just sad i won't get to see michael sheen again" and i kid you not this was the exact next shot

[biboomerangboi]

Hua Cheng essentially cockblocking himself for possibly all of eternity will literally never not be the funniest thing MXTX ever wrote.

Xie Lian was pretty much completely in love with him the second he saw those lanterns (and completely oblivious about it) and then we get the wonderful first kiss underwater moment and Xie Lian is basically drawing hearts around Hua Cheng every time he sees him. While like quietly dying cause he literally has no idea what to do with it. Like at this point he doesn’t even really understand that he is head over heels totally gone for this man.

Until Hua Cheng is like I have a beloved I just haven’t won them over yet. Which he thinks is perfectly reasonable because his self esteem is the worst and he doesn’t understand how he could have won Xie Lian over yet. (He’s only on step 22 of his Marrying Dianxia 3000 step Master Plan ((that he debates throwing out on a regular basis because he doesn’t deserve to even dream about wanting Xie Lian)). So course he’s like yeah I have this wonderful noble beautiful beloved I just haven’t won them over yet wink wink nudge nudge.

But Xie Lian is like oh of course obviously I don’t deserve nice things and fuck I actually wanted him so badly I’m actually in love with him and now I will resign myself to never being happy for his sake. (Their combined self esteem is truly a so low it’s a hole in the ground which is hilarious because they think the other person is to good for them and unattainable forever because they literally have the same neurosis.) So he starts boxing up his feelings forever constantly wanting Hua Cheng and feeling guilty about it and literally dying inside because he wants Hua Cheng like he’s never wanted anyone.

Like essentially books 3 and 5 only happen because Hua Cheng has now cursed them both by saying he has a beloved because Xie Lian believes he isn’t wanted and therefore any nice thing Hua Cheng does is just him being nice and not Hua Cheng pulling out steps 23-34 of his plan thinking he still hasn’t won Xie Lian over. (He has he so has but he shot himself in the foot so badly it’s painful to read).

Like thank the Gods Hua Cheng is so unhinged and created the cave of 10000 Gods cause Xie Lian would literally be at his own wedding to Hua Cheng still convinced he wanted someone else and this was in fact a thing they were doing to solve a case together otherwise.

Like he needed something that unhinged to put 2 and 2 together otherwise he never would have caught on he’s Hua Cheng’s beloved. Meanwhile Hua cheng is like 🥺 he’s going to think I’m a weirdo now and I’m only on step 50 of the plan 🥺 like the two of them wouldn’t have been fucking nasty 2 books ago if he just kept his mouth shut and didn’t cockblock himself so violently.

[tossawary]

The funniest "early family reunion" on the Death Star / crack canon divergence AU that I can think of right now is Darth Vader and C-3PO. Threepio gets separated from the others somehow and ends up running into Darth Vader in some random hallway, and it's just a real "What." moment for Darth Vader. (Threepio is screaming in terror and begging for his life, of course.)

Because, like, that's the droid that HE built for his mom. That's the droid that followed his wife around during the Clone Wars. What the fuck is Threepio doing HERE??? NOW??? Did Obi-Wan (Vader has still caught the Kenobi vibes on the station here, obviously) have Threepio for the past NINETEEN years? That asshole. That sounds SO annoying, too. Good. Obi-Wan deserves that.

Thankfully, this is not as catastrophic as Vader getting R2-D2, because Threepio has had a memory wipe and no one ever tells Threepio much of anything (he's got some information on the Rebellion but most of it is outdated, especially after the destruction of Alderaan). But Threepio has spent the past two days or so hanging out with Luke Skywalker, and also witnessed the destruction of the Lars farm, both of which as revelations may cause Vader to flip out in weird ways. (Artoo is STILL around too??? That traitor.) Possibly, this may be enough of a distraction to allow Obi-Wan to actually slip away and live, but maybe not.

The important thing is that Threepio is taken off the Death Star somehow, so he can become "Death Vader's gaudy gold-plated protocol droid who has anxiety and is annoying as hell but Vader takes him EVERYWHERE". Imperial soldiers from random troopers up to genuinely important Admirals occasionally have to deal with "droid-sitting" duty while Vader is out doing scary, evil Force of Nature stuff and they all hate it, because Threepio never shuts up, has a knack for wandering off (he's trying to pull a daring escape) and nearly getting himself torn to pieces (people have actually gotten hurt trying to follow him), and most people don't have the guts to just turn Darth fucking Vader's pet droid off for a little while. Vader COULD just reprogram him or put in a restraining bolt or take Threepio's legs off, but he can just pick Threepio up with the Force, so it's whatever to him. (There IS a tracker installed, but Threepio doesn't actually know where to run anyway.)

Threepio's official role is "translator" for Darth Vader, which Threepio has somehow taken to also mean "mediator". So, whenever an Imperial officer is getting threatened by Vader, there's a stuffy protocol droid behind him saying things like, "Oh my! I'd listen to him if I were you! What happened to the last fellow was rather unpleasant," and, "It's impossible to get good help these days, isn't it, Master Vader?" and it sucks. The only one who could really do anything to stop this is the Emperor and Darth Sidious couldn't care less about his apprentice's latest purse dog droid.

Unclear whether or not Vader at this point actually has any real fondness for this piece of his past / reminder or his lost loved ones, is just super lonely, secretly thinks Threepio's surprisingly deadly antics are funny, or is using Threepio as bait for R2-D2 (come get him, you little fucker) and the others. Might be a combination of all these things.

[creekfiend]

I have been having a really weird experience this summer, which is that I fell in love for the first time. I'm 36, and if you'd asked me if I had ever been in love previously, I would have said "I don't know, maybe? I used to think so but now I'm not sure? What's it mean to be in love?? how would I know if I had or not???" I thought that because I had not experienced it myself, the people who were always saying "oh no, trust me, You Would Know" were all lying or otherwise mistaken. I DID NOT BELIEVE THEM. I was fully like "this is some sort of mass delusion, there's no way that's a thing"

Now that I know that this is something that Exists even if it doesn't always Look Like They Tell You, there's SO many things that make sense to me!!! Whenever I encountered Romance Stuff before, I had no desire to do any of it AND could not comprehend why anyone else would ever want to either. It was this really large experiential disconnect for me. Whether or not I want to do any of those things, I now understand why other people would, if they Were In Love. LIKE I GET IT NOW. IT MAKES SENSE TO ME. I still can't relate to things like people in movies falling in love instantly, but now it's like "oh right, that's a potential state of being that exists," rather than "pretty fucked up that hollywood made Being In Love up to sell more flowers or whatever."

I feel like I'm constantly 24/7 running a software update on my brain that's been overdue to be installed for years or perhaps decades. It's just like "OK YUP UPDATING ALL THESE PROGRAMS AND FOLDERS. THIS WILL TAKE SOME TIME AND DATA BYTES OR WHATEVER, BUCKLE UP!" Pretty sure there's actually one of those little rainbow spinning icons above my head the whole time I'm conscious, like I am some sort of very confused Sim.

This happened to me REALLY SLOWLY, too, so it was like a big blockage in a river, and more and more stuff was just piling up against it, and then the dam broke, and now I'm sitting in the shallows of a giant basin lake under a massive waterfall wringing my hat out and going "woah. they got never before seen types of fish in here"

Who else knew about this??? Unfortunately the answer is: a majority of human beings over a certain age DID in fact know about this, it's just that every time anyone said "this is a way people feel about each other sometimes," I said "hmm. sounds fake." In-cred-i-ble.

Turns out that being in love is just an experience that people can have!! It's just a thing that happens sometimes! Some people have had it happen to them a bunch and some people not at all. It's just A Thing That Can Happen To You. Wtf. WHAT WILL I DISCOVER NEXT????? IT COULD BE ANYTHING !!! WHAT WOULD BE THE FUNNIEST POSSIBLE NEXT THING FOR ME TO REALIZE EXISTS? ONLY TIME WILL TELL. (Can you fucking imagine having this happen to you when you are in your seventies or eighties rather than your mid thirties ????? THAT WOULD BE THE WORLD'S MOST DISORIENTING EXPERIENCE.) (I also thought that "having chemistry" was fake.) (Do not diagnose me, I PROMISE I already know)

[sweetcandyhigh]

Sending the randomest shit to a pre-relationship Megumi would be the funniest thing. I mean this would before he even realized he had feelings or that you had feelings for him. The poor guy was clueless. And you thought it was hilarious.

Let’s start this off by saying you and Megumi were close, but so were all of you guys, it was a tight nit circle. But Megumi was just different than the rest. So you spent a lot of time together, and texting when you couldn’t be.

So one night you guys as well as Itadori and Nobara were sitting in Megumi’s dorm (the cleanest), just lounging have some random ass conversations. And a few minutes later Megumi was picking up his phone, seeing a message from you. With a raised brow he looked at the simple blue heart emoji you sent, with the most weirded out face you had ever seen him make. Which in turn caused you to burst out laughing getting a few looks from the other two.

Another encounter of this was when you were training. A lax a daisy school day, sparring with each other and some of the 2nd years. And Megumi looked stunning, sweaty and running his hands through his hair every few seconds had you salivating. This garnered another one of your unfiltered texts, and while you knew what you could and couldn’t get away with, you always teetered on that line.

So a “God Damn” text was sent his way. Course he didn’t see that until a few seconds later where he pulled up the bottom half of his uniform top up to wick away the sweat from his face. His eyes went wide as he gave you a look that you couldn’t quite read, a giggle fallin from your lips.

This had happened so many times Megumi decided to enlist Itadori’s help, confused as to what you were getting at. “Itadori,” his calm voice called out, maybe one of the only times he said his name without being irritated with his fellow classmate. The pink-haired teen’s ears perked up, “Yeah Fushiguro?” He called looking up only for a phone to be shoved in his face. Megumi wasn’t good at asking for help and this was the closest it was gonna get, “Read.”

As Itadori’s eyes filtered over the messages a smirk resonated on his face, “I don’t know man, seems like she’s into ya,” he said with a way too toothy grin. Megumi’s brows furrowed as he shook his head, “Not possible,” he huffed out causing Itadori to snicker, “I’m telling you dude that’s what it is.”

And from that day on Megumi was a little too aware of everything you did around him, the dots connecting in his head. But how did he feel about this? He had no clue, absolutely none.

That’s when he went to Nobara, once again someone he wouldn’t normally go to. “Nobara?” He called out the same way he did Itadori’s name, and her ears perking up the same way. “Oh?” She said with a soft snicker, causing Megumi to roll his eyes. Once the situation was explained Nobara’s brow never stopped being raised, “So?” She grumbled eliciting a groan from Megumi, “How am I supposed to feel?”

She shook her head, a tsk coming from her mouth, “Now cmon on Megumi, you’d be passing up a great chance with em.” His brows raised before shaking his head, “That’s not what I’m asking.” Nobara was now the one groaning, “Look, I can’t tell you how you feel, but I’ve seen the way you look at her.”

And let’s just say Megumi was even more confused when he left that conversation, and it didn’t help when he bumped into you. His face was beet red, one of the only time you had seen him like that. “Everything ok Gumi?” His heart fluttered as he nodded, words caught in his throat. “Wanna hang out?” You tilted your head, his heart fluttered once more as he nodded. You smiled, happy he was gonna hang out with you, and his heart fluttered once more.

Let’s just say Megumi never thought he’d be the guy to be in a relationship. He wouldn’t be the guy to want someone. And never did he ever think he’d be the first to confess. Yet here he was muttering the words out, the same calm and collected voice now just a little more shaky.

And while you were flabbergasted of course you accepted, cause you felt exactly the same.

[genericpuff]

All That Glitters is Not Feminism - An Analysis of LO's Brand of "Feminism" and What Remains of its Fanbase (The Twist)

Alright y'all, I've been waiting a hot minute to talk about this because I wanted to see how it fully panned out before saying anything about it. And it's not even specifically about LO, but I do think it's very adjacent to it in a way that I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear. Much of it speaks to how we prop up white writers even at the expense of POC.

This is 'the twist' attached to my first post that I made just a couple hours ago that concerns an entirely other topic but I feel ties into this subject very well.

If you haven't heard, there's this author who recently fucked around in the Del Rey publishing scene.

Her name is Cait Corrain.

In the original tweet calling this person out, names were not dropped, but it was made very clear that what Cait did was unacceptable behavior.

You can read the entire thread that started it all from Xiran here:

There's also a GREAT recap thread from one of the affected authors, Bethany Baptiste:

I want to make it clear that Cait Corrain isn't just a debut author.

Cait Corrain is - or now, was (foreshadowing is a literary device that-) - a debut author who had an agent, a publishing deal with Del Rey (an imprint of Random House which is a MAJOR publisher) and even an upcoming Illumicrate deal - meaning, her book was going to be packaged in a monthly loot crate subscription shipped directly to people's doors, quite possibly one of the best marketing deals a debut author could ever get, usually unheard of in this industry. All the pre-reviews were strong and positive.

Cait's book was literally set up for success. All she had to do was sit back, relax, and watch the fruits of her labors roll in. She had written the book. It was ready for release. The hard part was technically over.

But I guess the racism brainrot got to her because as it turns out, since April - for EIGHT MONTHS - she's been making alternate accounts on GoodReads to review bomb the indie and debut works of her friends and peers, most of whom were POC and did not have the same opportunities set up for them as she did. There are loads of receipts to back this up that you can find in those above threads ^^^

To say that this is appalling is an understatement. This was an intentional and deliberate act of racism by a white queer writer who claimed to be "jealous" - of what, I can't imagine - so much so that she deliberately sabotaged her peers, people who had supported her and her book.

And then when she got caught? She doubled down on it and claimed it was a "friend", also an alternate account she made up.

The exchange between her and this made-up person is actually the funniest shit out of this entire thing, it's so poorly written and as soon as people noticed the time stamps were out of order, that was when it truly cemented her newfound clown status.

"oooooh he's standing right behind me, isn't he?" energy right here LMAO

yes keep expositing cait, that's really selling the "this is a genuine conversation that really happened with a real person" bit 🤡

Anyways, it became abundantly clear that Cait was just going to continue to dig her heels in over something she caused.

This has been a hot topic in the UnpopularLO Discord, not just because of how crazy of a situation it is that we had to talk about it - and we have people within the community who work in the literature and media sector - but because we noticed one very telling thing in the list of series that she had review bombed in her very own personal act of wrath.

You see, Cait made one fundamental mistake that led to her undoing - she didn't just review bomb the works of her peers, she positively reviewed her own book and others.

What's her book about though?

It's an Ariadne x Dionysus retelling set in space.

It's literally another "modern retelling" of Greek myth.

And wouldn't you know it, guess who else created a modern retelling of Greek myth that she included in her positive review raiding while she was sabotaging the work of her actual peers?

Now, I think it goes without saying that what I'm about to say should be taken with MOUNTAINS of salt, I'm sure a lot of you are reading the headline and going, "Ugh, really? You're gonna make this about LO? Could you give it a rest already???"

I need you to understand, with the current state of Rachel's fanbase and 'modern' Greek myth literature as a whole, at this point Lore Olympus - and the works that are literally inspired by it such as A Touch of Darkness - has basically become the shopping cart litmus test of basic decency. It's like when someone says they like Harry Potter - you can't take it automatically at good faith anymore, because there isn't a whole lot separating someone who simply liked Harry Potter as a kid and still rewatches the movies from time to time from someone who fully supports the politics and agenda of J.K. Rowling. No, not everyone who still watches the movies or reads the books fondly is a TERF by default, but it's justifiably a reason for suspicion when the consequences are often too dire to risk.

There's this thing that's been happening in the LO fanbase that I frankly saw coming, but has really recently started to hit its peak. It's what I call the "Kanye Effect", where the comic has become so absurd and backwards in its misogyny and white feminism that the only people who seem to be left supporting LO are the people who are legitimate white feminists and misogynists - because all the normal level-headed people fell off the comic ages ago (or transitioned into the critical side of the community).

I mentioned it in my last post, but it bears repeating - Rachel's fanbase has literally been shipping Hera, a victim of abuse, with her abuser, Kronos. I'm really hoping a lot of them realize how fucked up that is now that Hera herself has called it what it is - abuse - within the comic, but I also can't count on the LO fanbase picking up on that or even noticing it with how quickly people swipe through it each week, it's very apparent at this point that most of LO's readers don't know how to chew their food and don't pay attention when Persephone and Hades aren't onscreen.

But I'm digressing. Or am I? We're talking about Crown of Starlight after all. The debut Dionysus x Ariadne sci-fi/fantasy romance that was quite literally advertised using Lore Olympus as its baseline-

This. This is what the ongoing cultural erasure and white feminist uwu-fication of Greek myth is doing to the literary zeitgeist surrounding Greek myth as a whole. This is why we criticize Lore Olympus and works like it that are created by disingenuous people who only seek to use the assets of Greek myth material as a way to shoot themselves up into fame and stardom. This is why we demand better standards in the literature and webcomic industry, so that people like Rachel and Cait can't use their privileges to quite literally erase the source material that they used to make themselves famous in the first place.

If anything, Cait's actions didn't just affect the people she negatively review bombed, or the people she was affiliated with, but also the people she positively reviewed. While I don't support what Rachel creates, she wasn't the only one who Cait went out of her way to review positively from her alt accounts, there were many others as evident in the Google Doc - but all this really does is tarnish the legitimacy of these books and their ratings by artificially jacking up their numbers that are advertised to others.

Making Greek myth fanfiction or fun creative retellings was never the problem, but it's now being sabotaged alongside so many other genres and mediums by toxic white individuals who can't even keep themselves from committing hate crimes, let alone create something purely for entertainment that's transparent in its illegitimacy, lest it destroy the illusion that these people are qualified to speak over those whose voices are being stifled, often by these very same people. Many of these writers get caught and are still allowed to continue what they're doing - that was certainly what we feared with Cait.

Until today.

It was revealed today that Cait's book will no longer be featured in the Illumicrate May 2024 box.

Del Rey has dropped Crown of Starlight from their publishing schedule.

Daphne Press will be hopefully following suit.

And, most telling of all, Cait's own agent has severed ties with her.

For anyone not familiar with the inner workings of the publishing industry, Cait has essentially been blacklisted. Without an agent or a publishing house, she'll have to entirely rely on her own resources through self-publishing. Unless she manages to sneak her way back in under an alias (which I wouldn't put it past her to try) she no longer has access to the mainstream publishing industry that was already guaranteed for her before she let her 'jealousy' get the better of her.

Her career was already made for her. She had a red carpet laid out for her debut. Her book was getting good pre-reviews and she had quite literally nothing keeping her from her success. The best thing she could have done was nothing. Somewhere in her head, she made up a threat that didn't exist, and sealed her fate in acting on it, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I think in these situations such as with Cait Corrain, Rachel Smythe, and - also recently and relevant - James Somerton, we need to become increasingly aware of how white voices are still overpowering POC voices, not just in their actions, but in the opportunities they're given over others which they then use to further stifle the voices of those they feel "threatened" by or feel entitled to speak over. While neither James nor Rachel have used sock puppet accounts to "take out the competition" (at least as far as we know lmao) James did quite literally steal the words and voices of queer writers who were deserving of their time in the spotlight, and Rachel's work is being quoted as "rewriting Greek myth" as if its blatant gentrification and appropriation should be marketed as some sort of positive.

It's all too common for these deeply-rooted prejudices to rear their ugly heads and for the people who carry them to act out in this way while justifying it as "jealousy" or "a mistake". This isn't jealousy. This isn't a mistake. This isn't someone "starting drama". This is genuine, targeted hate, with the intention of snuffing out the voices of others who should be empowered, not silenced.

All that time and effort, and for what? Racism and petty jealousy? It just goes to show, it doesn't matter how many opportunities you're given, how high up on the ladder you already are - it won't fix the deeply-rooted insecurity and racial pettiness that spurs people on to do such horrible things.

I've spent enough of my time and words today talking about Cait, and James, and Rachel. So to end this off, I want to join in with all the others who have highlighted the books that were review-bombed by Cait, and help in uplifting them so they can have successful debuts. I'll be pre-ordering a few of them, so I'll be happy to make dedicated posts for them in the future after they release. Please consider purchasing them for yourself if you want some new reading material <3

The Poisons We Drink by Bethany Baptiste:

So Let Them Burn by Kamilah Cole:

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods by Molly X Chang:

Mistress of Lies by K.M. Enright

Voyage of the Damned by Frances White:

(I'm sure there are plenty others so if I missed any here, please let me know so I can add them here and check out their books!)

If there's any silver lining to this, I hope that it makes people aware of the media they consume and who it's being created by. I hope it makes people more willing to seek out the books that aren't getting the same opportunities as Cait Corrain and Rachel Smythe. I hope it's a wake-up call to the industry that matters like this need to be taken seriously and that POC writers are still being silenced under their own noses. And most of all, I hope it's a reminder that we shouldn't even need at this point that this behavior is not okay, no matter what level a person climbs to - that just because someone is part of one minority doesn't mean they're not capable of sabotaging another. It sucks that that has to be said, it sucks that despite these groups being so intersectional there are still people within them who submit to their deeply-rooted insecurities and find ways to feel threatened that they use to justify hateful behavior.

Having a platform is a privilege. It should never be weaponized against your own peers or those who you simply feel "threatened" by for no reason beyond your own imposter syndrome or doubts or internal struggles. Because as much as you may feel like you've earned where you are, that never gives you the right to weaponize your opportunities against others who were never given those same opportunities in the first place. "Feminism" is not using your power to crush "other women". "Progressiveness" is not exclusive to the progress that only benefits you.

I wish only the best to those who were affected by the actions of Cait Corrain. You deserve to be heard and seen and appreciated for the work you do and the abuse you've had to tolerate. I look forward to your debuts in 2024 <3

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I've been thinking a lot about Leonarda's not-death ever since it happened back in April.

("What death?" you might ask, to which I say: "EXACTLY!")

Back in mid-April, Vegetta and Leonarda were mining together in a one-block wide tunnel. A mob (a Petriman) got between the two of them, and Vegetta told Leonarda to step back while he took care of it. At this point, they'd spent enough time together that he trusted Leo to listen to him.

Instead, she was killed by the same sweeping edge bug that killed her siblings.

-

Vegetta's reaction here is what's really interesting to me. Unlike most other parents on the Island, there are no shouts or tears – only a very brief "Hmm" and then silence. He very quietly takes stock of the situation, saying "Vegetta, no" and wondering aloud why Leo didn't defend herself. In chat, Foolish says "It was a bug, right? LAG" to which Vegetta slowly responds "Yes, lag. Bug." (Despite this, Foolish still asks "WHAT HAPPENED" in chat, though Vegetta doesn't reply).

Instead, he creates a slightly wider space in the tunnel where Leo's body is. He continues quietly taking stock of the situation, wondering why Leo didn't defend herself (which is what necessitated his intervention). She'd been lagging a lot that day, and he figures that must be the cause, and eventually when Leo re-appears out of thin air in the middle of the cave and collects her stuff, she confirms that the lag got to her and that's why she didn't fight the mob.

Now here's where things get interesting:

Vegetta checks the tab list. Online, it's just him, Leonarda, Roier, and Foolish. He quietly tells Leonarda "The body has already disappeared, and without a body, there is no crime. Nothing is happening. Did you die?" Leo shakes her head, and Vegetta shakes his head too, and in the kind voice he uses sometimes with Leo, he says: "I believe you have not died. Where is the body? It isn't anywhere, no mija. If it was a mistake, it was a mistake."

Leo says: "I saw Diosito (God) pa, and I was scared. God, what am I doing here?" and Vegetta laughs, telling her it's alright. Leo says "No pasa nada (don't worry / nothing happened)" and Vegetta says: "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." To Foolish and Roier, he messages: "Secreto."

And the funniest thing about this is it worked.

Not a single person spoke about it. I saw this entire event go down live and I didn't see a WHISPER of what transpired among fans. I can't even remember if the QSMP official accounts talked about it (they sure didn't mention it in Vegetta's recap of the day). We could discuss this in meta terms of course– Leo was having known lag issues that day, Vegetta's beloved by the admins so of course they're willing to turn a blind eye rather than slap a "?" over Leonarda's life on the Eggstatistics, but meta talk isn't what I'm interested in here.

I'm interested in q!Vegetta, the weird "god-adjacent" aura he's got, and the way the universe bends to his will.

Before he took a break from the server, Rubius seemed to be a caretaker for the Eggs who died (for example, he was present when Maxo, Quackity, and Mariana & Slime said their final goodbyes to Trumpet, Tilin, and JuanaFlippa). Because of his role as an "angel" and some of his dialogue during the early days of the server, it's not a stretch to say he probably came to collect any Egg who lost a life. I can imagine he did the same when he saw Leonarda die – that is, until Vegetta said "And the people who are watching us have not seen it either." Realistically, we know Vegetta was saying this to Chat (and possibly the admins as well), but again, we're looking at this from an "in-universe" perspective.

I wonder if Vegetta was aware of Rubius' role, and this was his way of telling Rubius "No. I won't allow that to happen." We know Rubius has a soft-spot for Vegetta (and we also know that Rubius was cast out of heaven several months later) so it makes me wonder if these two instances are connected.

Either way, this isn't the first time the laws of the QSMP universe have bent for Vegetta, and I certainly don't think it'll be the last.

Rubius or no, Leo didn't die that day.

Vegetta made sure of it.

[centrally-unplanned]

I will say I do view Kanye as going through an obvious mental breakdown, for which conspiratorial nonsense is an extremely common symptom, and like any person in that position I hope he gets some serious help and I have empathy for that.

But watching Alex 'Sandy Hook was an Inside Job' Jones trying to talk down Kanye from the ledge of Holocaust denial and him just doubling down into full on Hitler May Have Been Onto Something-dom, is the funniest fucking thing that could ever happen on fringe weirdo alt-rightdom. Legit evidence for the existence of God because that level of karmic schadenfreude is not possible organically, it just isnt. You could not put this in a piece of fiction without shattering audience suspension of disbelief.

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

9-1-1 Masterlist

Oh gee finally a place I can keep these! Thank you to my bestest most amazing friend in the whole world for making these headers for me i literally actually literally could not do it without you

Two of a kind

Buck can’t stop thinking about his coworker, so he does what every guy at 3am does on a 24 hour shift!! He sneaks out to his car to get off. But it turns out, certain coworkers (that might possibly be the love of his life) have the exact same idea!

Fairest of Them All:

The party downstairs rages on as Buck decides to do something about the pretty little thing he’s been staring at all night

Clothing Optional:

I can’t. I can’t keep writing summaries. I’ve done 2

After a stupid work shift, in the stupid heat, Buck just wants to enjoy a sweet little sundae, fortunately it comes with a side of dat ass (I’m not sorry)

That Should Be Me:

Buck has never ever been jealous ever a single damn day in his life

Gamer Girl

Buck thinks you’re so, so pretty. You’d looked even prettier with your thighs around his head

Now You See Me:

✨Mirror sex✨

Growing Pains:

Everything is all wonderful and cool and dandy until you nearly die from your appendix!!

(I KNOW. THERE IS. AN AMBULANCE.)

Cry To Me:

Eddie loves when you’re crying during sex, nothing turns him on more… except when those tears are very very real and he’s very very worried

10 Things I Hate About You:

You guys freaking h a t e each other… or do you? Wink wink wink wink enemies to lovers wink

I Spy:

Eddie is the sweetest neighbor in the entire world… who knows where you work

Better Than Revenge:

You and Eddie get locked into a closet at your job after an accident, it also turns out your now EX boyfriend is a cheating asshole! Eddie has absolutely no problem filling in for the revenge role

Front Row:

Why do firehouses have to work f o r e v e r. Eddie needs a freaking shower and to pass out for the next six years on an overnight shift. It turns out someone has the same idea, and possibly another idea on how to left off some steam

Yeti Point:

Eddie finally takes you on that skiing vacation you’ve been begging him for and it’s going great! Until you get snowed in. But that’s okay, Eddie has a secret plan to keep you both warm

Slow and Steady:

Buck helps Eddie into the house, holding him up as you frantically get the bed ready for your injured boyfriend. Turns out, pain killers make Eddie horny!

(Hahahahahaha)

Encanto:

Dad!Eddie x Daughter!reader

Nightmares never get easier no matter how old you get. Especially ones where your father dies

Smoke Dector:

Eddie always has to be the hero, okay not really but it’s hard when you see your boyfriend running into a burning building for the first time

One Puff Or Two:

Take your freaking inhaler Eddie 🔪🔪🔪

Into The Fire:

(PTSD WARNING, PANIC ATTACK WARNING)

You’ve been on edge lately, and Eddie knows there’s something up. One night things come to a head when you have a nightmare about what happened and Eddie wakes up to a very bad situation

Night Changes:

Eddie comforts you after a bad nightmare about him dying over and over in different ways (based off of 5.14)

Busy Bees:

Two words ✨Sex Pollen✨

Soup or Salad?

✨I’ll freaking summarize this later✨

A Rose by any Other Name

This is one of the funniest titles I've ever made up. Buck finds your simple collection of toys and shows them to Eddie... and now they want you to put on a little show for them

Finish Line:

A little game of "whoever cums first loses"

Twice Bitten:

Double Penetration from my kinktober list!

Alexander Hamilton:

Buck can't stop having feelings for Eddie's girlfriend... but what if that's okay?

[writing-funsies]

OP characters as besties p.5

p.1 | p.2 | p.3 | p.4 | p.5

characters: Ace, Shanks, Mihawk

warnings: mentions of alcohol, light cussing

notes: all platonic hc's

Ace

will share his food with you

but won't let you take any off his plate

falls asleep on you all the time

uses you as his personal pillow

and will make fun of you if you freak out when riding with him on Striker

despite the fact that it's designed for only one person

but I digress

also uses you as a napkin if needed

sometimes shoots little flames at you to see your reaction

talks about Luffy nonstop

like that's the only thing he ever talks about

by the time you actually meet his little brother

you're ready to strangle both of them

not really

but you could spot the kid a mile away

before you ever actually got to know him

Ace and you working together to become more confident

always teasing each other

you having to fish him out of the ocean when he falls in

drinking contests

staring contests

fighting contests

eating contests

just competing over everything and anything possible

training together

he may be really strong and have a devil fruit power

but he won't hesitate to practice his hand-to-hand combat with you

especially if you need it

will tease you about it though

so you just push him overboard again

long talks about your lives

your pasts

your families

where you see yourselves in a year

five years

maybe even ten years

your goals

and aspirations

just talks about life

he tells you about his dad

and is relieved when you tell him that just because he was his father's son doesn't mean that'll be his legacy 

you two would die for each other

nothing will ever tear you apart

besties for the resties

9/10

super sweet and funny

but won't bathe no matter how much you beg

Shanks

party boy™

genuinely doesn't give a fuck

he's here to have fun

and protect his family

that's it

tells you the corniest jokes you've ever heard

also laughs at everything you say

like Luffy, laughs even when you're being serious

uses his missing arm as an excuse if you ever try to get him to do his duties as captain

sometimes struggles with phantom pains

but assures you they'll go away on their own

drinking contests

if he's got a drink in hand

then everyone's gonna have a good time

100% threw up on your shoes once before passing out

laughed like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard when you told him

quickly stifles his laughter when he sees how mad you are

offers to let you throw up on his shoes to make it even

you just stare at his sandals for a moment before walking away

watching Luffy's progress through the news together

bragging about the kid as if he were your own

the antics you two get up to guarantee that Ben will have a constant headache

the rest of the crew finds your dynamic duo to be hilarious

the sheer power of this crew is near unimaginable

so if the two of you ever actually fight enemies

they don't stand a chance

if anyone ever targeted you

and hurt you

Shanks would have his crew capture your attacker

and then show them exactly why no one messes with the Red Hair Pirates

8/10

always provides a good time

but will laugh at you if you fall 

Mihawk

I ain't ever seen two pretty best friends

until now

you are probably a little more lively than this warlord

he just doesn't care for drama

which means it's up to you to keep him in the loop

yet somehow he has the truly juicy details you could only wish to find on your own

y'all have a small book club

it's just the two of you

you tried to invite Perona to join

but she thought that your reading selection was so not cute

you even tried to invite Shanks once

all that accomplished was you gaining a new drinking buddy

which Mihawk begrudgingly allowed to happen

basically, the book club is just you two sipping on wine while discussing every mistake that the author made while writing your current read

salty bitches™

you're one of the only people alive who can get Mihawk to laugh

which is your favorite party trick

except that he's never laughed at the parties you both went to

(ie visiting Shanks and getting roped into a night of drinking)

he airs out all of the other warlords' dirty laundry to you

will talk mad shit about them

well at least most of them

he finds that no matter how powerful they may be

they're all idiots in his eyes

they can't see the big picture

he trusts that you have enough common sense to use the information sparingly

and you do

for the most part

it's giving rich single wine aunt meets vodka mom (but without the kids)

9/10

knows how to relax in style

but will not let you play with his sword no matter how many times you ask

[bomber-grl]

Hi!! Can I have a Hiro x reader, were Hiro gets nervous around reader and Baymax is like "Your pulse just got faster right now". It would be funny to see Hiro getting more nervous because that

“Don’t listen to him!”

Pairing(s): Hiro Hamada x Gn!Reader (no gendered pronouns)

You and Hiro were already really close and great friends

The only thing worth noting is that Hiro may or may not have a teensy weensy crush on you

Although, it really wasn’t worth noting

Especially since he's planning to show you a project in his lab tonight and a crush would only serve as a distraction, an awkward one at that

The casual hangout was planned so you could meet Baymax, as you've already met everyone important in Hiro's life.

The time was just never right

He’d be in his lab and right after Baymax had left to wander town helping others, you’d walk right in

But tonight was when that’d change

Hiro gave a speech to Baymax to be cool and stuff

Hiro couldn't stress it enough—he was already nervous around you, and he could only imagine it getting way worse than it already was

Hiro gave the speech but knowing Baymax, it’d go right over his head (for obvious reasons

When you finally arrive, he gets up to greet you. After exchanging saying hi, you give him a hug

His face immediately flushed, and his heart raced in response, but he shrugged it off

Finally, when you peek over Hiro's shoulder, you see a large white marshmallow-like figure

You immediately recognize this figure as Baymax and once Hiro introduces you, you get the scan and typical Baymax speech

Things are honestly going pretty well, and Hiro's relieved that Baymax hasn't said anything unsettling, knowing the robot has a difficult time with people sometimes

He might as well as jinxed it though because the moment he said that, Baymax turned to him and scanned him

Hiro didn’t even notice, the only thing that was on his mind was you and how nervous you made him feel

He saw you face Baymax and then he heard something he’d never want to hear

“Your heart rate has escalated significantly in the past five minutes, and there is a notable increase in temperature observed in the facial region. Please remain calm as I continue to monitor your vital signs.”

Hiro immediately turned to him and told him to be quiet but that made it even worse

Baymax began giving solutions and possible reasons for why he was acting the way he was and when Baymax gave “someone else” and hinted at hormones as a reason he freaked

The scene in front of you was basically Baymax continuing his talk with his “patient” and hiro desperately trying to turn Baymax off

“Someone else” and the hormones thing only makes things worse and he turned to you for the first time throughout this sequence of events

“Don’t listen to him! He doesn’t know what he’s talking about and he’s pretty messed up from being attacked by u-uh some dogs.”

The situation is finally calmed down, Baymax is charging and you’re currently seated across from Hiro

And you just can’t help but burst out laughing

The whole thing was so ridiculous and honestly? You kind of already knew

Hiro was always nervous and hyper aware around you and the “fight” (if you can even call it that) only confirmed your suspicions.

Hiro immediately perked up and he laughed a bit too

It took a good amount of stuttering and sidelining but Hiro finally confesses his feelings and also his very much present fear of Baymax ever outing him

Which did end up happening, obviously

It was honestly a shock that he hadn’t been outed sooner

The inevitable happens and the two of you start dating and what not

But the funniest thing of it all was even after that day, Baymax would still mention it and this time- in both of you

[seullovesme]

slow dancing in the dark » irene

pairing ⥬ bae joohyun x reader

genre ⥬ angst

summary ⥬ you're in love with irene, but she's in love with someone else.

unrequited love

part 1 | part 2

you watched the girl talk so animatedly with the guy across from her. this was stupid. you should not have agreed to sit on the other side of the cafe from your best friend, who was currently on her date. she had asked you to stay in case something were to happen and of course being wrapped around her finger, you caved in and did as she asked.

it was clearly unnecessary because she was enjoying herself, and you were just sitting there like an idiot. an idiot watching the one she loves fall for a different person.

you weren't going to deny it for a second. you are in love with bae joohyun, the only woman who was ever able to increase your heart rate with a simple touch or make your head spin at the thought of her smile. she was your soulmate, someone who you knew would be there for you no matter the circumstance, your best friend. you watched her laugh at whatever that man said as if it was the funniest joke on planet earth. it made your eyes roll into the back of your head in annoyance, it could not have been that funny.

so lost in your own head, you didn't even notice their date coming to an end. joohyun stood up, the guy following after her, and she thanked him with a kiss on the cheek. it lit a fire in your stomach, the feeling of jealousy was something you were familiar with. after all, you were in love with possibly the most beautiful girl. but it was not your place to feel this way. it's not like you were her girlfriend or anything.

her date walks away with a huge smile on his slightly pink face, exiting through the main door of the cafe. you turn to your best friend who remained standing in the same spot, seeing her looking down and biting her index finger with a smile on her face as well. her smile was gorgeous, too bad she was thinking of another person as she gladly showed her pearly white teeth.

-

your eyebrows furrowed. you were lounging on joohyun's couch, mindlessly scrolling through your instagram that was ironically filled with image and pictures posted by couples. was the world playing some joke on you? you turned your phone off and put it down with a huff. how annoying.

the sound of clattering catches your attention and you stand up in a panic, making your way to the room of the other girl where the sound had came from.

"hyun, are you okay?" you ask in a worried tone as you opened the door, revealing your best friend picking up her makeup from off the floor. "ah, sorry if i disturbed you. i just dropped my makeup bag." she responded, glancing up at you once or twice in between words. you examined her figure, specifically her outfit.

"what are you so dressed up for?" you questioned. she completed collecting her items and zipped it closed before placing it back onto her vanity. she sighed in relief and grinned. " junmyeon asked for a second date and i said yes! i'm so excited to see him again after our first date. he's such a great guy and i really hope things work out between us, i've never met anyone quite like him."

at first you felt a little upset or hurt, but seeing how happy she was made it hard for you to maintain such a negative emotion. if you couldn't be happy, at least she was and if her being happy meant giving her up then you were content with your decision. hopefully he treats her like a princess, how she really deserves to be treated.

"i hope you enjoy your date joohyun-ah. i'll be heading to my place right now." you gave her a hug which caught her off guard for a split second, but she returned your comforting embrace. you closed your eyes and tried to memorize the feeling of her body against yours, and how great it felt to be so close to her. when you backed away, you looked directly into her dark brown eyes and engraved the image of them into your mind.

you thought you were being a bit over the top, but there was no way you'd be able to face her after this. not without experiencing those same butterflies you had when you were with her. she would be better off without being burdened by your feelings, and you were better off letting her go.

"i'll call you tonight like we usually do and tell you about our date when i come back home, y/n."

you nodded and turned to leave. once you reached the front door, you held the knob but the call of your name caused you to pause. "thank you for being there for me. i could have never asked for a better friend." your heart clenched at her words but you could only smile. it was just a reminder that you were just her friend.

"any time, unnie." you reply after facing her direction, seeing her stand a few feet away in a stunning red dress that you had bought her for her birthday. "let's call later?" she asked, and you nodded eagerly.

"talk to you later, hyun." you swung the door open and stepped out, closing it behind you. as you made your way to your car, you pulled out your phone and messaged a close friend that you were going to stay over for the night. after sending the text, you completely shut down your phone not planning to turn it back on later today, or maybe even for the rest of the week for that matter.

you'll probably also throw out the bouquet of red tulips you have in your car, there's no way you'll able to go with your plan and confess anytime soon anyways. not when she's found someone who makes her happier than you, it's just not possible. but her happiness over yours, right?

im contemplating on making a pt. 2 where they end up together or leaving it open like this

[its-your-mind]

Jon Chester trying to communicate and/or comfort with statements is the cutest and funniest and most in-character shit.

Sam just joined a possibly-evil organization and seems way too interested in gaining knowledge from the stories? Has a history with the Magnus Institute? Well fuck I can’t let him end up back there.

Canaries should stay above ground.

Colin keeps looking too hard into what he shouldn’t, but he doesn’t know enough to stay safe. I have to warm him.

Voyeur needs to be seen to be believed. Scariest movie I have ever seen.

(Brief interlude when Jon finds out that Gerry is alive and has a permanent address which is a big enough ??? and feeling of relief and hope to risk a single email with an address so Sam can go see for him if it really is Gerry, if he’s really alive and if he’s okay (and then he is he’s happy and safe and he paints and goes to art shows and he calls Gertrude GeeGee). Bit of a shame about the name in the email address, though. Who knows, maybe that woman will stop calling him fucking Chester…)

Ahem.

Anyway, Sam won’t let the whole “Magnus Institute” thing go, and now Celia is here? Working here? Recognizing his voice? (Martin had to remind him who Celia was — Jon feels that his lack of remembrance is justified, in this case. Those tunnels blocked off his connection to the Eye! Remember what happened with the camera at Salesa’s? He forgot everything that happened there! Frankly, he’s impressed he even managed to remember meeting Melanie and Georgie down there, let alone the names of their awful annoying cult members. (Jon, be nice. It was the apocalypse). Well, I didn’t see you cozying up with that poet, whatever his name was— (*with sudden disgust* Arun.) *trying to keep a straight face* ah. yes, him.) What is Jon supposed to do about this? Well. Fine. If Sam intends to poke around, Jon can at least make the dangers present there clear.

Statement and Research assessment for artefact CD137. Magnus Institute. … [Transcription ends due to interruption. Statement giver declared dead by paramedics at scene.]

So. They went to the Institute. He knows about all of it, there was a tape recorder there. They were… in the Archives. In the assistants’ area where Tim used to throw the caps of his glitter pens to see how many he could get caught in Sasha’s hair before she noticed. Looking at the decrepit remains of the filing shelves he had been so fucking stressed about organizing. In his office.

Worms tracks on the ground. All paperwork removed or destroyed. And when Sam steps wrong, the tunnels. Oh, Christ. The tunnels. He drops a key down into them as he falls. Alice catches him. They leave. Some…thing takes the key Sam dropped. Unlocks the trapdoor, the one Leitner and Gertrude used to get in and out of the Archives. Here in Manchester, maybe the only way out of the underground passages. The trapdoor opens. Something pulls itself out.

~~~

And now, Alice has been being stalked by drowned corpses. Okay, sure. Yeah, shit uhhh… okay here’s one. Here, look, same kinda thing happened here. That tattoo artist shows up again too! Gotta keep track of reoccurrences. Learn as much as you can — the tip-off about the fire extinguishers saved Jon, Tim, and Martin in the archives. (And Sasha, before that… thing lured her into Artifact Storage.)

It belongs to the deep. I’m going to go get it and I’m going to find it and if they try and stop me I swear the ocean will claim us all. I can taste the salt and spray. It’s waiting in the water.

And now back to Sam. Back to warnings. It’s not just artifacts. The Institute deals with dangerous people, too.

This room, it’s a mess. Printouts, delivery notes, a bunch of rejection letters from some institute he pinned to the wall with a kitchen knife. And it's hot in here, dad. Too hot. Oh god. I can feel it. My throat is swelling. And it itches. I can still hear all the snakes brushing up against the door and... in the walls, I think. Christ, they’re in the walls...

Alice got attacked. He was there, he managed to get a tape on the scene, he heard it all. It was one of the drowned things.

Ink5oul knows something about them. What the hell, right? Michael gave Sasha the tip about the fire extinguishers. Let’s mine another colorful creep for information. Ink5oul dug one of these things up for some reason. Hold on, hold on, he just saw something about them, something about getting some kid to follow them to a graveyard…

We head on through the graves and then they point to one of ‘em and just give me a look. I was no cap shook and then they just said “dig”. I laughed, ‘cause, like, the ‘hell? But they were serious.

And at the same time, Celia keeps waking up on the ground, closer and closer to Oxford each time, like there’s something gently tugging her back towards the world she left. She doesn’t know how to stop it. Jon knows how that feels, the feeling like your own body is just a puppet tangled in invisible strings, at risk of starting a dance you don’t know, to music you can’t hear, at any moment, without any warning.

There isn’t anything that he can really do to help her. But he found it comforting to hear what happened to Gertrude.

I’ve lived Darien’s life for four years now. It wasn’t as hard as you’d think, turns out your world and mine are pretty similar.

CELIA (to computer): Thanks, I guess. Not exactly the same is it?

No. No, it’s not. He knows that there isn’t really any comfort to be found in knowledge when all you learn only points you more and more towards the conclusion that you are alone, and helpless, and powerless against the forces that are dead-set on fucking up your life.

[jeonscatalyst]

https://x.com/inkedjkk/status/1831670685305114941?t=JUfQ9UQXLYowW2zfP1KgUA&s=19

Mind you this is some 9k+ followers acct

https://x.com/pinkorangesun/status/1831647803803902094?t=Gl9Z92VsCpcCa5GBQKJdOw&s=19

https://x.com/jikookreports/status/1831664356150386976?t=bWMuICdCMpkc3t7MGBTZng&s=19

I actually don't wish to be like a Tkkrs even on my worst enemy cause the guarantee of you ever turning to a normal human is 0 % there.

You know why I would never take these people seriously? They don’t even believe the things they say. They have spent years calling us jokers, laughing at us for believing in what we believe in and thinking we are gullible and stupid for letting the “company narrative” cloud our judgement of reality but look at the things they do. Why on earth would anyone feel the need to intentionally manipulate sub titles just to make it seem like Jk didn’t want to be there unless they are mighty insecure? I swear I wouldn’t feel the need to do any of these unless I am seriously worried that Jk might have been there because he actually wanted to be and I need to convince myself and my minions that he didn’t want to so we can feel better.

The funniest thing is, taekookers will have a much easier time if they just accepted that Jimin and Jungkook are friends who love each other. Because even if you really believe taekook is real why do you need to try to hard to invalidate the friendship of Jungkook and one of the members he’s known for over a decade? Friends can travel and do shows together can’t they? We know that Jungkook has been on multiple private trips with his friends outside of BTS, they’ve been around each other so much in chapter so why can’t they continue believing in their ship and just regard Jimin as one of Jk’s other friends? Unless they can’t do this because there is a part of them that sees exactly what we see and that frightens them. I have recieved asks from people sending me what some of the taekook blogs on here are saying and it is beyond ridiculous.

Imagine claiming that Jk was on his phone alot because Tae wasn’t in this episode like we didn’t all watch Tae spend 3/4 of his time in episode 4 and 5 on his phone when Jk was seated right next to him. So by their logic Tae has another lover who kept distracting him right? Plus Jk was actually on his phone in the episodes in Jeju too but it wasn’t as noticeable because there were two other people we could pay attention to while he was a bit distracted on his phone but when have taekookers ever cared for logic?

Imagine them also saying that Jk looked like he didn’t want to be there with Jimin in Sapporo Lmaoo. I think these people are forgetting that the trip in NY was the only one Jimin himself suggested. The trips to Jeju and Sapporo were BOTH Jimin and Jungkook’s ideas and from the look of things Jungkook might have been the one who suggested they go to Sapporo together, I mean he said this….

They also seem to forget that Jungkook is the one who spoke about wanting to do this till they are 50 and from the look of things he wasn’t joking because after NY, they went on to shoot in 2 other locations and might have done more if they had more time. Untop of that Jk basically spent this entire episode saying this….

I know they have never been good at listening to Jk but isn’t it common sense to know that if someone really doesn’t enjoy doing something they wouldn’t wanna do it again? Plus this whole travel show wasn’t an idea that came from the company (because I jusy know they would throw in the contract bullshit) this whole thing was only possible because Jimin and Jungkook wanted it to be. Jimin pitched the idea to the company with Jungkook’s approval and they made it happen so if Jungkook didn’t want it in the first place, even the NY trip wouldn’t have happened and that’s a fact.

They can go on crying about how Jk didn’t wanna be there even though we know he was the one who wanted to go back, or talk about how Jimin and Jungkook have no chemistry (we all saw the great chemistry taekook had in the jeju episodes with Tae being more interested in his phone and bed than anything else while Jungkook kept talking and interacting with Jimin mostly) but at the end of the day, when they look at this picture they know Jk was happy af to be there and only wanted to go back with the same person he was there with in 2017……

So let the haters cry. Let them gaslight themselves the way Jungkook was trying to gaslight himself about not liking the spicy braised chicken in Jeju lol. Let them continue convincing themselves that Jk had an awful time and only did it because he was contractually bound to while they have to wake up seeing this big smiles on his face while he is having a kdrama moment in the snow with his Jiminie hyung😌

PS: Notice how Jungkook said he normally doesn’t like walking? But we know that the longest walk he has had in his life was in Japan with Jimin where they even had to walk slowly because Jimin’s feet hurt and here he is in Sapporo again walking with Jimin because he doesn’t mind walking in the snow with his Jiminie hyung🥰

[cheeseceli]

It's okay

Pairing: I.N × Gn!Reader.

Genre: hurt/comfort.

Summary: you feel like everything is falling apart, but your boyfriend is there to hold you close.

Warning: mention of blood; mention of food; Y/n is pretty much in a breakdown; not proofread; some cursing.

Author's note: this happened to me but I had no i.n with me lmao😔 hope this might bring comfort to anyone who needs it

"Y/n?"

The voice of your boyfriend woke you up from the confusion that was in your mind as soon as you heard him, noticing the worried expression his features had.

"What?"

"You've been staring at this glass for a while now. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah" you started drinking from your glass of water, avoiding any other question. The cubes of ice had already melted "everything's alright."

"Okay then. Uh... do you want to order food? We can eat that guioza that you've been dying to try. Or we can just have the usual."

"Just order whatever you'd like."

You stood up and went to the kitchen, feeling guilty for treating Jeongin so cold-heartedly when he clearly was worried about you. But you really, really didn't have the energy to talk in the moment. And even if you did, you doubt anything good could get out of your mouth right now. So you were going to wait.

Wait until your problems disappeared, or until you were brave enough to face them. Whatever came first. But honestly, you didn't expect that any of the previous options would actually happen. You were just waiting for everything to get worse and dry you out. Those last days couldn't have gone worse and now you're just playing this game where you try to guess what horrible thing will follow in the list of disasters in your life. Maybe someone steals your phone tomorrow. Or you can break an arm before going to bed tonight. Maybe your university catches fire, your boyfriend breaks up with you and you receive a call from your parents telling you you're a dishonor. The possibilities are infinite.

Whatever the case is, you just feel something bad will happen, as apparently you have no control over your life anymore. Nothing happens as you plan it, it doesn't matter how hard you try. In the end, you can't stop unpleasant situations in your life, like letting the glass slip from your hands. Very next thing you know is the pain in your foot as the glass shatters next to it.

"Y/n? What was that sound?"

"Nothing"" you tried to keep calm and not involve I.N in your mess, even though you knew it wouldn't work. Not a second passed by and you could hear his footsteps coming closer.

"Oh shit."

"It's okay, I'll clean it."

"No, Y/n, stop. You are barefoot and already bleeding."

"It's just a small cut."

"Still a cut. C'mon."

You didn't quite understand at the moment, but when he searched for the nearest pair of shoes available to wear and took you in his arms you got it: he was bringing you brided style to the bathroom.

"You're overreacting."

"Just sit down, please." He placed you in the sink and started an inspection on your cut, analysing how bad it could be "does it hurt a lot?"

"No. I told you it's just a small cut."

"It's not that small baby. What's going on?"

He was focused on cleaning your wound and didn't really look at your face, but you knew he was paying attention to every small movement of yours. You could see he was trying to help you. For a second, you really wanted to be helped.

"Was it really that obvious that something's wrong?"

"It's the second glass that you break this week. Besides I know you well."

"Sorry 'bout that by the way."

"I don't care about a glass, Y/n. I just want you well. Can you tell me what's bothering you?"

"It's just..." now his eyes were on you, and you could notice how much he truly cared about you. Funny how just his eyes could lift a lot of weight out of your shoulders "I don't know, everything's seems wrong. My backpack ripped in the subway, my friends love to say shit about me as if it's the funniest joke ever, my family's dog is sick, I didn't have a proper meal for more than a week and this is a never ending list. I know I must be being dramatic as hell right now, but to be fair, I feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown."

"Baby" I.N dried one of your tears with his thumb. You didn't even notice you started crying "it's okay to feel like that. You're not being dramatic at all. After such a hell of a week you deserve to let your feelings out. What about I cancel that order, I cook your favourite to you and we sew your bag later?"

You have him a small smile, glad you had someone so great by your side, someone who knew how to be there for you "I'd like that very much."

He smiled as well "Great."

Jeongin stood up so he'd be able to give you a proper hug. Your boyfriend wasn't the touchy type usually, but he was really great at giving hugs, so whenever a moment like this happened, you tried to savour every minute.

"We can go to your parents' house tomorrow if you'd like. Maybe your dog will get better by your side."

"It's a three hours drive."

"I'm a good driver."

You smiled, hugging him tighter and pressing your face into his chest "thank you."

Reblogs and feedback is always appreciated!

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[brucewaynehater101]

All of this is just so. Chefs kiss. I do have another layer of angst and a layer of comedy. After all, the angst stops hitting as hard if you don't have something light hearted to compare it to. After all, how can you know what darkness is if you have never seen light?

I said at the start that Tim gives discounts for secrets. He always seems to be able to tell when people lie and those that do tell him lies well. Bad things happen to them. Nothing can be directly traced back to Jane Doe, but everyone knows. Of course this does lead to some rouges and GCPD pigs trying to intimidate Jane into telling them what she knows. Everytime, Jane offers to play a game with them. 5 rounds, whoever does the rounds gets to ask the questions and no one else but others can listen. Should the challenger win a round, they get to ask one question and Jane promises to answer truthfully. If they win two, he will answer two and so on. They only get a 30 second break between each round and the Playlist is set to shuffle.

Tim lays out these rules and once the person agrees, thinking it's either a fight or sex, only then does Tim reveal they will be playing Dance Dance Revolution that Tim "upgraded" so it has the four diagonal pads too instead of the usual just 4 pads. He sets it to max difficulty for Rouges, second highest for everyone else. The most anyone has ever gotten is when Harley managed to ask Jane to questions.

Of course there are rules about the questions, like you can't ask Jane for any of their own personal details, and if Jane doesn't know the answer to a question you get one do over question. Joker has never threatened to hurt Jane over the way they sell secrets back with DDR because he thinks it's the funniest possible way to humiliate people who demand answers. Sometimes he has his henchmen challenge Jane knowing they'll lose just to laugh at them as they fail.

But on the flip side. Do you think any of the Rouges, before they knew Jane was Robin ever hired Jane? Tim would *hate* it but... those he goes on dates with are often very loose lipped about things and one time he got paid to just hang off a drug dealer's arm all night and look pretty while the guy drank. The guy was a *very* talkative drunk and after he passed out Tim was able to look through his shit with the potential excuse of "im just looking for the bathroom sweetheart~" of course none of the Rouges would ever hire Jane if they knew how old he was but Tim doesn't advertise that. Especially if he's been on the street for a few years at that point and has a reputation. He has to be at least 20, right? Right? Plus the mask and the fact it has a filter to obscure his voice he's just... there was no way for them to know, right? They can justify it to themselves all they want but if a Rouge did, they would definitely feel Really Gross.

Yeah! You've got to have some light-hearted or happy moments to really drive in that angst.

For Jane's age, it definitely depends on the Rogue and their characterization. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure Black Mask was a bit creepy to Steph when he was torturing here. So, whether or not they would feel gross/horrified depends on who it was.

I can see how they wouldn't have known (especially if Jane refused to answer questions about themself including age).

As far as the Dance Dance Revolution? That's a brilliant idea. I wonder if he's ever practiced that with YJ or Dick. I could definitely see then doing that. It would be a cute bonding activity (until they learn he used it as a form of protection).