#fun forum is now tainted

[disableism]

When you think you’re having nice convo with someone on social media & suddenly they act like you’ve said most terrible worst thing & that you are most terrible worst person & you’re afraid random person thinks you are most terrible worst person & you start to think you are most terrible worst person bc #ChronicAnxiety yay

[banamine-bananime]

the forum werewolf game ever. of all time: night one

Start reading here!

Tucker is elected Blue Team Captain ("You are now unseerable and have one yeet avoidance. Once during the game you may take the role of a dead player and assign it to someone on your team."). Lopez is elected Red Team Captain ("You are now unseerable and have one yeet avoidance. Once during the game, you may take the role of a dead player and assign it to someone on your team. For this, you have forfeited your original ability, so you are no longer a blocker."). Simmons receives Lopez's blocking ability.

Lopez objects to his captain ability being ugh, talking to someone and tries bargaining with the mods for killing power.

Donut is too busy daydreaming and forgets to seer someone. (me: "Any action tonight?". Donut the next morning, when it's too late: "Yes, reverse time and seer [Lopez's player] because I thought it would be Night zero 😭")

On his way out, Sarge makes a robot speech unit that will post-restrict someone to only be able to post in robot syntax. "Make it a dying man’s parting shot. Give it to whoever would have the most fun with it."

Wyoming "BRUTALLY MURDERS" Sarge (per Wyoming's player's wording). (absolute tragedy, sarge was one of the players who knew rvb and he's so funny and SUCH plans for items to make. "Bummer. What to do with all this material I had from RvB??? And all the abilities??? I had taint toggle switch to immobilize action overnight. Active camo/church ghost to track someone, and Sheila/caboose love potion. Sad face" WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN)

Simmons blocks Vic.

Wolf's night results: "Wyoming kills Sarge"

Sarge's night results: "You are dead :("

Vic's night results: "Someone stood outside your door all night, glaring at you and preventing you from leaving"

Vic, who was doing jack fucking shit all night: "Oh darn and I had so many plans….."

Next: day 2

[spacebookettes]

Book 13 Almost Goths

The people who had noticed all went back to their flats and houses. Half empty bottles of wine left on tables, bed. Many had taken the day after Halloween off of work and could sleep. The occasional zombie fart and cats scratch. Some of the people who had noticed turned up for work sore headed but sober. The occasional brave witch who had noticed. Cups of tea. Breakfast sarnies. Checked phones. No one had noticed yet. The Almost Goths gone. The people abroad for Halloween texted the ones who haven’t noticed for info; they were all disappointed.

Chapter 4

The people were starting to notice, it had been weeks, not one sighting across the whole country. A hopeful glare, just a widow.

The absence was confounding, hilarious even. Peoples imaginations were running wild, wild stories and theories, rumours of sightings. And as usual most people had no clue and went about accordingly. The kids were on the streets and in the parks again. They texted their grandparents a little more often though.

The people who had by now all noticed were doing the research. Websites popped up. Forums. The online people thought the Brits were being Brits again. The British Conspiracy they called it. Mass hallucination. The PFAS were blamed. The Fluoride in the water was also blamed. Just a small part of the World Wide Web. A slight quirk of online fame. But a few people maintained the websites and forums. People checked in occasionally for any news of sightings. The next Halloween you couldn’t find witch costumes. A uk fog Halloween this year, witches hats pointings out of the wispy glooms. It was so much fun this year. The men wore black dresses and wigs, green faces, giant balloon boobs, dark cocktails, colouring black sausage rolls, raisin warts, brooms. People had a great time. The next day all gendered witches walked together around the towns and cities, bottles of wine in hand, still getting drunk, with their days off.

Chapter 5

Five years. Everyone had lost interest, Halloween went back to normal.

Six years, the special parties the ones who had noticed were still having. Summer parties. Dressed as multi gendered witches. In the sunshine. Many other people had noticed. The Witch Barbeques they called them. When unknowing neighbours ask why? ‘why not!’

Witch graffiti. Almost Goth graffiti should i say. Not quite witches!

Mi5 had also noticed the uptake in not quite witches.

The billionaire has new Witch movies on her streaming service. A Witch conspiracy set in the USA. White Witch convensions. Revenge of the Witches. Just differences enough to not give the game away.

Chapter 6

A Not Quite Witch was seen walking past the Sydney Opera House. Then another in some town. Enough of the Brits who had noticed were in Australia. So the usual started all over again.

Most never noticed, but the down under who had noticed were bolder, they made contact. The not quite witches just put their fingers up to their mouths and gestured a hint of You’ll See.

Once they had reached the cheap hotels the down under people who had noticed waved and asked for selfies. Every pic the not quites looked devilishly amused. The ones who had noticed took holidays down under. They didn’t have witch barbecues this summer. Wouldn’t  want to taint the black widows.

It is a hot Halloween, the Cats Walks and Zombie makeups are drinking. They have bigger nights than they were planning for. It made the news even, this years ghouls went too far. Annihilated vampires in some of the leftover Papers. Plastered pumpkins turning up to working useless. And again the not quite witches all disappear, never to be seen again.

Chapter 7

A Canadian winter, Almost Goths in snow boots.

Chapter..................

Peter Stringer

This book is dedicated to Halloween when we had it

[spirantization]

Fandom-related asks for you: A, D, W?

Thank you for asking!! This day has been a day of Putting Out Fires so I had to actually Do My Job instead of answering fandom questions, like some sort of real adult.

A. Your Current OTP

I am a bit in between fandoms at the moment. A few months ago I would have said Lucifer/Chloe, but the ending of the show was such a disappointment that a couple weeks after the final season aired I dropped it completely. I had fun while it lasted, no hard feelings, but at some point I thought "I'm not having fun with this anymore" and that was it. There are a few in-progress fics I'll go back and read, but I'm not interested in writing fic or engaging any further in the fandom.

What I have been watching & reading is prequel series era Star Wars. Something about Anakin & Padmé's trashfire forbidden romance and the fandom's insistence on writing AU and time travel fix-its is deeply mesmerizing to me. I love them and people who hate the prequels are wrong, actually. I am waiting for the Obi-Wan miniseries to come out and I need the following scenes: a) Obi-Wan has a vision of an alternate universe where Anakin isn't a fucking idiot and just leaves the Jedi Order and raises his kids and is a great trophy husband for his hot senator wife; and b) a present-day scene where Darth Vader has a super secret Padmé shrine on his emo fortress where he goes to wheeze sadly and hate himself.

D. What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom?

I mean, it was Harry Potter because of course it was. I read and lurked for a really long time, but I got involved with the fandom with the Unknowable Room group in... idk, 2005? I wrote some truly terrible Lily/James fic that is now associated with my Ao3 account, but probably spent most of my time hanging out on the UR.org forum where we were all obsessed with "hijacking", which pretty much meant going off-topic. I don't know, it was the early 2000s. There are several people from those days that I'm still friends with now and have met in real life, so even though HP itself has become tainted, I can't ignore how it has shaped my online presence and connections and friendships I have made.

W. 5 favourite characters from 5 different fandoms

Okay let's go right across the board here, in no particular order:

Keladry of Mindelan (Tamora Pierce books)

The Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who)

Aang (Avatar the Last Airbender)

Chloe Decker (Lucifer)

Sarah Manning (Orphan Black)

[funkymbtifiction]

𝐻𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜!✨ I just wished to thank you for taking the time to continuously answer asks and organize your character analysis & webpage for others to better understand the MBTI system. I especially am fond of the newer layout for the profiles, to help better look at the types as a whole instead of the bits and pieces that can be easy to lose oneself in;;; I'm still on the journey of discovering myself. How did you come to realize your type? & how do you dispel doubt, personally?

I’m glad you like the new format. I realized a while back it was relatively easy to move functions around without changing the overall impression of the character much, so the new format forces me to emphasize their dominant function a lot (as their primary motivator and most of the ‘evidence’ has to support it) -- so I think it will help me be more accurate moving forward. I’m also trying to be a little more evidence-based, and less vague, which is a challenge for me since descriptive details are not my forte. But it’s all a learning experience. :)

It took me five or six years to settle on my correct type, although I will say that if I had read the book I transcribed my MBTI page information out of at the beginning, I probably would have landed on ENFP much sooner. As it was, I dabbled in it as a hobby, and collected most of what I knew about the types off the internet, including from questionable sources and forum conversations -- I picked up a lot of ‘white noise’ and sometimes biased information, which I am still having to filter through and discredit, based on both later study and observation of real people of the various types. There’s a lot of stereotypes online propagating misinformation -- something as simple as “Fi is selfish, Fe is not.” Which when you run into a selfish Fe-user, you may assume they are something other than Fe when in reality, Fe is just a judgment process.

I realized I had Ne the first time I read a decent description of how it takes something from the environment and that spurs other alternative possibilities and ideas -- from that moment onward I knew I used Ne and Si, but wasn’t sure where they fell in my stack. I assumed I had to be Fe, because I’m highly considerate of other people and think about whether they are enjoying themselves at all times. It can be so invasive that if I have a sense someone around me is not having fun, my own fun gets tainted in the process. It took a Te user pointing out to me my own Te for me to recognize “oh, that’s what it is.”

I still have doubts at times. I suffer from a 6w7 anxiety about ‘being wrong’ and ‘misrepresenting information’ ... I have days where I am seized with worry that I am really an FJ user, and that I am not “ENFP ENOUGH” to be an ENFP. It’s all irrational, since I have observed enough evidence of ENFP in my daily life to support it, and it’s all part of being an ENFP and having nothing ever quite firmly settled in my mind. Somewhere along the way, I got it into my head that all ENFPs need to be like Anne Shirley -- idealistic to a fault, looking for the magical in everyday life, and up to their ears in constant melodrama... and here I am, just writing novels (granted, it’s my life) and going to work, and not globe-trotting or falling in love at the drop of a hat. I’m quite sensible and realistic, and at times it hurts when people around me scoff at the idea of me being an ‘idealist,’ because what they see is my 6ish cautiousness and pessimism, because then I don’t feel Ne “enough” to be a proper ENFP. But... all ENFPs are different. Some of us are more naïve, idealistic, and flighty than others. I think that’s the lesson one must learn about MBTI, ultimately -- that people of the same type will have certain mental processes in common, but their behavior may be nothing alike, so it’s somewhat fruitless to self-compare and find oneself “wanting.”

I will say, however, that for me, the journey of ‘finding myself’ has been far more satisfying through the Enneagram. MBTI is great and it explained “some of the things about me” but I would say discovering my Enneagram type and fixes has given me a doorway into inner awareness that I never thought possible. I keep realizing things about myself, and it’s both... shocking and liberating to be experiencing so many breakthroughs. I’m someone who cares very much to know the reason ‘why’ I am doing certain things and... now I know.

Your journey of self-awareness may be long and surprising at times, but I guarantee you, it’s worth it.

[theniftycat]

I’ve been thinking about my first fandom drama today.

I was 14 in 2004 and I became a huge fan of Alexandre Dumas’ books. Not only the musketeers (with both sequels) and Monte-Christo, but also notably his trilogy about religious wars in the 16th century and his quatrology about Joseph Balsamo and the French revolution (altho my collection lacked the second part of the last novel and now I’ll probably never read it).

So, I found an online fan club (in Russian) made with basic html, on a free site hosting service. It had a guest book and I started talking to the owner. It was fun and in a couple of months she added a forum to her site (if you’re young... it’s like a discord server, but each page had a maximum of like 200 or 400 messages, so, when a topic got closed, you had to open a new one).

That’s where I spent the next 4 years, that no doubt had a lot of influence on my personal development. It had everything. Nuanced character discussions, arts, games, fics, funny and serious poems, jokes, role plays, a database of adaptations, history nerds, horny people, genuinely the best people you’d meet, trolls, jokers and character stans.

After about three years of it being a genuinely nice environment, we had maybe like 10-20 people who’d post every day (yes, it was a very active community, but people generally talked more online back then, that’s why lj-style platforms don’t work anymore, nobody will comment as much as in the 2000s). And we all knew each other pretty well.

Of course, The Three Musketeers (and both sequels) were the most popular. While I was more of a Monte-Christo fan, and we’d basically make silly jokes about sea and treasures with another girl who I still keep in touch, as in we say hello to each other once a year. Among the musketeer fans we had two groups: ones who loved Athos and ones who loved Aramis (maybe gays).

I always liked Aramis more due to his flamboyant nature and him always wanting to leave the secular life and become a priest (which is a big mood). And then in the sequels he does, but he’s also bad at being a priest (which is a big mood) as in bad at keeping his vows, while being a great Jesuit (Catholic secret police), and later he also becomes a snake and leads to the death of Porthos, aka the human cinnamon roll. I felt like he was relatable, but also that he could teach me what not to do. All in all, a greatly written character and an object of gender envy.

Athos was a man of honour in all the best and the worst ways. I’m not gonna retell his story with Milady, but like, if you know you know. His fans loved him for being honest in every situation, as well as being a tragic single dad. Idk, MAYBE, there was also the issue of loving the actor who played him in the Soviet adaptation. Maybe there was something else, but for me he was pretty boring, I’m not a reliable narrator. Some of them also hated Milady, which is sad cause she was fun.

(Keep in mind, it was almost 15 years ago and in Russia, it was like before the second wave feminism. Also, most Dumas’ major characters were very flawed and messed up people who commited crimes.)

Anyway, one day somebody created a topic called “Was it right to kill Milady” or something like that. And it started. Months and months of Athos stans defending his every action. Hating Milady more and more and hating Aramis just because his fans were not Athos stans. First I was trying to participate, but I was pretty young and inexperienced with arguments, plus, I didn’t have a real position and didn’t care too much. I distinctly remember the number 1 Athos stan being in her early 30s, she was the loudest.

After I stopped reading the discussions, I still talked in other threads, but it all felt tainted due to the existing tension. As a result, the forum pretty much died in a few months, even though prior to the whole situation we all got along well and respected each other. More than that, many of us felt a real sense of belonging there and loved the place.

It’s been more than a decade and only in 2015 I found another fandom that felt close to that level of nice to be in. Now I just don’t mix with stanning characters like that.

[soldixrqin]

Plot drop 2 - Open Town Hall Meeting

   “And I must say tonight that 'a riot' is the language of the unheard.

     Qin Lee decided that going together with a person like Ming who very much shared the same beliefs as him was a good idea. Having a friend around made the situation less tense and actually calmed his nerves. It was with surprise that Qin had reacted to the new Fire Lord's idea to hear the people out. He wasn't imagining Zuko to have even heard what the protests had tried to voice out, yet apparently he wanted input. This thought alone instilled a glint of hope in Qin's mind. Even then, he wasn't too quick to forgive or entirely put his life on the line for the newly crowned royal, though. The boy Lord still had to prove his worth.

     Qin was planning to step up on the podium and speak today. Cold shivers ran through his spine every time he thought about that. He wasn't a speaker. His way with words were witty and snappy in a conversation but to be one of the people's selection for a public forum meeting was quite nerve wracking for the former soldier. His hands were shivering a bit, hence why they were hidden inside the pockets of his pants. His right leg was tapping on the ground restlessly, the last fibers of his conscience telling him to calm down.

     Qin Lee had many ideas how to respond to the Fire Lord's requests. The last few days had given him enough time and material to think over, a list of requests piling up each day and night. He wasn't sure if Zuko would even consider his ideas, but he had to try. For all the fathers and mothers who struggled to feed their family or even themselves. For all the people left with no roofs over their head due to Ozai's tyranny. He had to act as their voice.

     Qin curled his fingers into a fist and put a strong expression on. If anything, he wouldn't allow to present himself as a stumbling, scared peasant. He needed to show strength and bravery.

     He took his steps to the podium confidently, following Fire Lord Zuko's prompt. Qin had prepared a piece of parchment with everything written down. Bowing into the traditional Fire Nation greeting, he opened his mouth and in that moment, he felt like he wouldn't need his notes that much after all.

     "My name is Qin Lee and I come in peace, something that may not shine through on first glance.” Even the revelament of his name felt like he was stripping down his guard, something he was trained never to do. “Today we have gathered to voice our opinions and suggest new ways to fix what your father has destroyed." His opening wasn’t intended to taint Zuko’s personality or himself, but rather to make him see how serious of an issue this was to the people around him. "We thank you dearly for this opportunity and only hope you won't follow his example."

     Qin took a short pause before coming forward with his first point. "First of all, we want complete transparency. Words like 'changes will come, you will receive what you want' simply won't cut it. Accept it as a form of democracy if you so want, but I believe the people want transparency above all."

     "Directly coming from my previous point, I feel like a lot of people have to pay for what they did under Ozai's reign." Admitedly, that included Qin himself. He did commit atrocities under the ruling of the tyrant before Zuko, but with the simple difference that he was brainwashed and ordered to do so. Much more powerful chess pieces had to be punished for this to end. "There are many Fire Nation aristocrats, Earth Kingdom royalties and rich families alike who directly funded and 'watered' the Fire Nation and its war fronts. I feel like it’s not so widely known that the entire world has a blame in the Fire Nation’s past actions. It is time to mend that."

     He took a deep breath for the words that were about to follow. Qin had to hold himself still and keep his voice sharp in order to achieve the desired effect. "The Army as it is now has caused tremendous damage across the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdoms. From my expertise during my short travels around the villages directly hit by Ozai's destruction, I've seen gruesome things nobody here, in Caldera City, could possibly imagine." Qin looked Zuko straight in the eyes. The new Fire Lord didn't even know his name, yet the young man was looking at him as if a soldier was begging for mercy from his superior. His eyes shifted it's corners and his lips changed his expression. From emitting innocence, they turned into the face of pain, guilt and vengeance. Fire harbored in his voice as Qin continued to talk.

     "I've seen people left with no roofs over their head, their houses incinirated. I've seen people hindered of their ability to live a normal day to day life due to injuries and incapacitation. I've-" his voice cracked, his hands firmly put on the stand before him. "I've seen children mourning their parents who died trying to save their Kingdom from us." He referred to the soldiers much like Qin himself who rained destruction under Ozai's reign. His onyx eyes stared right into the soul of the Fire Lord. "Their suffering came from the soldiers who were trained to destroy." Qin bit into his last sentence which was nothing but a whisper, poison dripping from his teeth. The sentence was filled with suffering and sorrow coming straight out of his heart. "And you should fix that. We must fix that as a Nation. The pain, the military, the dejection, the grief. The soldiers who terrorized villages and burned stuff for the fun of it."

     After recollecting himself a bit, he pushed himself off the stand, preparing to make a closing. "We want change and complete removal of the terrorism that every single person in this world felt during the past one hundred years. Be it through re-shaping the army and it's purposes or providing stability for the people suffering here and all around the world. Prove that you can fix this and you will earn our trust."

     Qin Lee stepped down the podium after bowing once again, shivering and feeling completely different than when he had left the protests foreshadowing this event. He left with dignity and with the feeling he had done something right. Congratulating pats on the back were received from the people who he tried to blend with but after his pathos-filled speech a few moments ago, he felt as if the people now saw him as their hero.

[violetsystems]

#personal

I’m sure everybody knows my political views and leanings by now enough to know I’m in a dark place with America.  Everyone of us is probably in some way or another in this country at this point.  It’s particularly frustrating for me because I’ve ridden a long, horrible arc for years.  One that crash landed to the point in time where I sit now.  A good decade later in the same apartment and in a very different point in my life.  I’ve been employed for twenty years.  I think this year is the first year I’ve ever felt in control enough to imagine a light at the end of the tunnel.  And then the world around me starts to disintegrate.  In an era so foul and callous, it’s exhausting to muster up any care.  When you do, it is attacked, hunted and ridiculed.  I posted that article about the CPD officer who was allegedly caught fraternizing on a Proud Boys forum.  The gist was that they were profiling people who were known leftists.  Their goal was to set these people up in public and start fights.  This isn’t new for me.  If anyone knows anything deeper than surface level about me, they know it has come with the territory.  It’s not a new thing to me.  People have been targeting me and singling me out for my beliefs for years.  I’ve become more and more quiet about them.  More and more enclosed.  And things have gotten far more tight and boxed in for me.  I’ve worked from home since March.  The bullying doesn’t stop and neither is it limited to racist cops and career opportunists.  In the neighborhood, the racial dynamic has changed.  Peppered between the homeless and the gang members who mark the alley as home are just as many white people.  White people who think I owe them a conversation because I too am also white.  Or white passing.  I am Caucasian.  I don’t give a fuck about “White Culture.”  Usually the burden of white people’s expectations for society are rooted in privilege.  A privilege they are never aware they are wielding.  America is controlled by the worst of them with money.  Truth be told the worst and most pushy white people in Chicago tend to be developers and property owners.  I live on a property of renters.  It’s a different mentality for sure.  I also am not in a lease.  Most of my negotiation of space has been a silent understanding of what is expected of me by my landlord.  I’ve learned what parts of that ecosystem I’m responsible for and benefit my surroundings.  I was struck by the line Killer Mike had said last night about Atlanta.  He had made a comment that this was a time to shelter, organize and plot.  I don’t have license to lecture anybody on looting.  I have conflicting feelings every time I think about wearing that Increase the Peace shirt out a week after purchasing it.  In fact, I have second thoughts about leaving the house at all these days.  Let alone leaving the state anytime before 2021.

And then there’s the human reality of what I go through and what I’ve been through.  The invisible nature of how I live.  A silent understanding with near subliminal validation and affirmation.  To be honest these days, I don’t look for validation other than my own gut.  People don’t get why I’m always alone and yet nobody ever reaches out.  I’m here every weekend by myself with my cat.  The only real love I feel is in this dash.  That doesn’t seem so weird anymore considering the circumstances and the times.  People sit and drink on zoom every weekend.  I don’t drink.  The only video chat I do these days is for work.  My emotional life is a fucking void in some ways.  I look back to the last three years and wonder if I’ve just been living a ridiculous and fucked up lie.  One that people wrapped me into to make fun of me.  To destroy me and abandon me.  Those feelings are there.  And then I look at how the world turns out for people who follow the obvious.  Who never question.  Who never think that they can be treated like they deserve.  Who are as beat down as me but never are getting up again.  I think about it sometimes.  That I’ve been as far as Shanghai alone.  How it feels like I may never return to some places?  For the record, I’d be back in China sooner than I’d consider anywhere else.  But nobody is going anywhere right now.  And I have to face the fact that I haven’t really been going anywhere for a decade.  At least when it comes to my value to other people.  Which is why everyone knows why I share my thoughts here.  Nobody has ever listened to me in public.  The reason nobody knows anything about me or ever has a real human read on me is because they are afraid of me.  I’ve heard it point blank from people.  That I’m confrontational.  That something about me bothers someone.  That I go against the grain.  That I need to be more friendly or outgoing.  And then I look back at five years of traveling alone on my own dime.  I am finally in a place where that is financially behind me.  I did it to find an escape.  To network.  To put myself in a better place.  To be in a place with possibility for a real life.  A real relationship.  And years later the irony is I’m just still here.  In a haze with no meaning or explanation.  I’m still just an enigma.  Not because I’m inaccessible.  I wonder sometimes if Artificial Intelligence has combed enough of these week by week to know exactly how I feel about the world.  Certainly some real people do.  And I can tell you week after week until I die that it does not matter.  That I do not feel like I matter at all.  

To operate from that state of hopelessness is anybody’s right.  Especially when they were set up to fail to begin with.  The truth is the ruling power structure in America is a bully.  They feel they can discourage and neg you until you shut up and fall in line.  Rich, white powerful men.  The same men we stick our hands out to for the trickle down.  The glass ceilings that get higher disproportionately.  The bursting at the seams when people begin to melt down emotionally.  The money and debt that keeps piling up to push the GDP.  The speculation and the horror on every single moment and metric in your life.  The constant watching.  The constant plotting.  The back stabbing and the manipulation.  You stick your neck out to fight and you are labeled, marked and hunted.  This is what they want.  Division and chaos.  Especially during an election year.  And while I’ve spent years being guilted into being political, I’ve only seen things get worse.  Politics is a noble cause.  But politics in America are bought.  No genuine person like myself would ever have a chance unless I wanted to sink deep into the tainted vat of cash.  Borrow enough with the hope to seize power.  If anybody really wants to know my feelings about debt in 2020 they are complex.  My personal choice has been far more austere for how I guide my future.  I know that I have a job.  I know that I’ve spent the last few months upgrading my apartment to accommodate that.  I know what hopelessness feels like but I would never measure it against our current sorrow as a nation.  I don’t see a future for myself right now.  I feel empty and alone.  It hurts daily.  I feel abandoned and invisible.  I feel like I will rot and die alone.  And I try to stay positive.  To think that this is not the case.  And all I do is feel the tears in my eyes stinging as I write this.  My life has been destroyed over and over again.  I have been subjected to the most foul psychological torture anyone could imagine.  And I face it daily with no closure or explanation.  This is America today for everyone.  Whether you realize it or not.  I am here where I am after all these years and I mean nothing.  My words are of no value.  My work is forgotten.  I’m a joke on a forum.  A person to intimidate.  A will to break.  A pimple to pop.  And yet all I ever do is scar.  I never fade.  I am a constant reminder.  An indelible marking that White society has failed.  America has failed.  America and freedom is a fucking lie.  That’s a hopeless position to be in.  And now that I’ve gotten those feelings out of the way.  It doesn’t look like I’m moving anytime soon.  Or changing the way I feel.  But I cannot give up hope for myself and my future.  But on the real fuck this country.  <3 Tim

[alimitlesschainreaction]

Shot glass|Nakamoto Yuta

genre - Angst, some fluff

warnings - alcohol

au - Non-idol au

a/n - Fun fact, this was originally a school assignment and I chose the prompt “emotion”. Yes I did originally write this using Yuta, but I switched out his name for something else while submitting! I finally got around to converting it back to reader insert hahaplease enjoy, i worked hard on this. Ending is up to reader!

An exhale left her lips as her bleary eyes fluttered open. She closed them again, before quietly turning onto her left side. Her fingers reached for a hand like a habit, although she knew nothing was there. She sat up, the white sheets rustling with her. Her (e/c) eyes glanced over the other side of the bed.

It was empty.

The silk pillow had no valley in the middle of it, and the comforter had no sign of disturbance. (Y/N) felt her throat burn slightly at the sight. Deciding to ignore it, she turned to the window. The sheer, translucent curtains parted slightly with the wind that came through the open window sill, a sliver of light landed itself on the floor. The sun was out, the sky was blue, making the tears that trickled down her face all the more noticeable.

He had not come home last night.

She heaved herself out of bed with a heavy heart, before making her way to the kitchen to pour herself a cup of water. (Y/N)’s hand came up to brush her (h/c) hair back. Once changed, she grabbed a light breakfast and headed out.

Walking along the chilly streets as she made her way to work, she couldn’t help but notice the autumn couples. Smiles filled with simple ecstasy, hands covered with mittens held the hands of those barely covered by sweater paws. The occasional pair posed in front of a cafe, taking a picture for Instagram.  She felt bitter, repeating days were so cruel. (Y/N) boarded the bus sullenly, opening her cell phone and sending a text with a pinch of hope. She was left on read, and her face fell. 

That night, two shots were downed.

When she drifted back to consciousness the next morning, a splitting headache ruthlessly pounded her head like Athena. The clanging of ceramic against the sink only amplified the terrible feeling. (Y/N) sat up from where she sat on the leather sofa, making her way to the kitchen. 

Standing by the sink was the man that plagued her dreams last night. Was this reality a dream or was it a nightmare?

“Where did you get home last night?” she asked him while pouring herself a glass of lemonade. Neither of them made eye contact.

“I don’t know.” He responded, a distant tone in his voice. (Y/N) took a gulp of the sugary, yet sour drink. A frown engraved itself on her face. 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” her tone raised slightly, her voice tainted with annoyance and attitude. She accidentally knocked over the glass of lemonade. With a huff, she ripped a paper towel to clean the mess she made.

“I mean that I don’t know, simple as that.” He repeated himself stubbornly, his own tone rising. Tension was rising rapidly, and toes were being dipped into dangerous waters. “Why are you asking me this? Am I not allowed to go out?” 

“Do I not have the right to know? You didn’t come home Thursday night.” The moment was growing, and it was about to explode. Both of them were heavily aware of this. The sound of china being placed on the drying rack became more aggressive. 

“Am I not believable? Do you not trust me?” he turned to (Y/N), dark brown eyes accusing and defensive. 

“Yeah! I don’t trust you!” she blurted out in the heat of the moment, and the whole thing spiralled downwards from there. Everything sped past in a blur, the incessant pounding prevented any rational decision in her head from forming. Words were spouted, accusations thrown and curses uttered. It soon came to an uncomfortable standstill. 

“Remove yourself from my sight. I hate you.” was snarled, but from whom, she could not recall. The only thing she remembered was the front door slamming, and the familiar feeling in her throat rise. He was a drug to her one moment could be filled with joy. Behind that moment, however, lay something destructive.

He was an addiction she couldn’t just quit.

That night, three shots were downed.

After a shower to clear her mind from yesterday, (Y/N) scrolled through online forums. Her eyes sifted through threads after threads, until settling contentedly on one titled “My relationship is falling apart, help!” While reading the various inputs, the thoughts that flew through her mind fluctuated from either, “Maybe I was too harsh,” to thoughts such as, “He deserved every last word.”

Tired, she closed her laptop. Flopping down on the bed, her wavy locks splaying around her, (Y/N) sighed. She felt homesick, but why and what for? Tears bubbled in the corner of her eyes, whispering threats to fall. She blinked them away angrily, she would not cry anymore. She could fix this. The relationship could be salvaged. A surge of courage raced through her like the sun shining through the eye of a storm. “Hey, can you come home? I want to apologize.” she typed excitedly into the phone. 

It wasn’t until several hours later did she get a reply. “Yeah, see you.” But by that time it was too late. Doubts had filled her mind, suffocating the spark that had temporarily warmed her, and she had drowned herself in misery.

That night, four shots were downed.

Opening the front door, the purple-haired man stepped into the apartment. He combed his bangs away from his eyes as he adjusted to the darkness. Every step he took made his stomach turn with guilt. Turning to the living room, he spied a sleeping figure on the sofa. Hesitant, he approached her.

The girl was lying on the leather sofa, her head leaning against the armrest. Yuta knelt by her quietly, taking her hand and rubbed small circles on her knuckles. He moved slightly to flick on the lamp.

The soft rays danced gently around the room, illuminating it with a warm glow. The light landed on (Y/N)’s face, the lamp’s tones made her (s/c) skin glow. Yuta’ brow furrowed as he brushed her face gently with the back of his hand. She had been crying, the fact that the back of his fingers glistened with tears was proof enough. “I’ll be back,” he whispered, getting up. A slight tug on his sleeve kept him down.

“Stay with me,” (Y/N) whispered, her eyes still closed. Yuta crouched back down again. His eyebrows furrowed in concern and worry. He knelt by the sleeping girl.

“You drank again didn’t you?” he scolded (Y/N) gently, knowing how fragile she could be in this state.

“Me?” she pointed to herself, opening her eyes. “Noo…” she giggled like a child who had been caught in a silly lie. Her eyes closed once more as she muttered nonsense.

“Let's get you washed up, you can’t be sleeping on the couch again.” Yuta helped (Y/N) sit up. “Can you stand?” he asked futilely, seeing how (Y/N) was beginning to drift off.  He draped her arm around his broad shoulders. “Up now.”

The girl stumbled awkwardly alongside Yuta, despite the latter’s attempts to steady her. He sat her down on the bathroom stool, his slender fingers grabbed a facecloth and ran it under some warm water. “What are you doing?” (Y/N) hummed.

“I’m washing your face.” he tilted her chin up with his thumb to dab the washcloth on her face.

“Can I tell you a secret?” she mumbled, crinkling her nose as Yuta rubbed her chin and lips in circles.

“You need to wash your face properly, you still have makeup on,” he muttered under his breath, looking through the drawers for the makeup remover. “But yeah, you can.”

“You can’t tell anyone though.” (Y/N) opened her eyes and looked at him seriously. “Not even Yuta. At this, the mentioned man couldn’t help but laugh fondly.

“How much did you drink?” he chuckled.

“I did not drink!! You’re lying!” she cried indignantly, pink lips set into an angry pout.

“Yes yes,” Yuta rolled his eyes, “Didn’t you say you had a secret?”

“I did? Uh…” (Y/N) racked her brain, “Oh yeah! I did. I wanted to say that I loved Yuta!”

“I know.”

“How did you know?” she watched him suspiciously, “I never told you.” Yuta exhaled forcibly, but let her continue her rambling. “But, but,” his hand stopped.

 “He doesn’t love me back.”

“Now why do you think that?” he faltered.

“Because, because..” she started to weep softly. “He never comes home half the time, and he’s become distant and cold.” Yuta threw the makeup wipe into the trash, his heart dropping lower and lower with every miserable word that was pitifully whimpered. 

“Stop it, it’s okay.” he tried to hush her quickly before the truth ripped him apart. “He loves you,” he reassured her.

“Does he really?”

Later he sat at the table with his face in his hands. Yuta glanced to the doorway, (Y/N) was sleeping soundly in the next room. Knowing her, she wouldn’t be waking up soon. This gave him time to think.

So there he sat for the rest of the night, the result of his actions resting on his shoulders like he was holding the weight of the world. Wanting to forget about it all, he looked at the glass bottle on the table. Maybe he’d mull over it later.

That same night, five shots were downed.

[iicewitch]

shuffled playlist tag

got tagged by @fuchsia-feferi <3

RULES: Put your whole music library on shuffle and post the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people.

i tag @myrainydayloves @kamenriderclub @lonelylesbian2kforever @trans--76 @sludgebat @stevenrcgers @kohomint @emollie @derptaur @thekingaboo

but anyone can do it if they want!

1. everybody needs by danny elfman

You can tell by the way he combs his hair By the cocky grin and that moody stare By the way he leans and juts out his hip And you think any second that he might slip

2. panda hero by hachi

If you are ever in trouble, just call that gal. To this playground encircled by transmission towers, a hero of justice, with a fuzzy sense of white and black, will surely arrive, holding a metal baseball bat in her left hand 3. the cry forum by mother mother

Are they all out of touch? Are they touching it too much? Are they on some kind of drug that I haven’t done enough of? I’m not one to judge, I just like to make fun of Everybody and their dog, am I wrong? 

4. lovegame by lady gaga

I'm on a mission And it involves some heavy touching, yeah You've indicated your interest I'm educated in sex, yes Now I want it bad, want it bad

5. you’re at the party by lemon demon

(Too late) You've been invited (Wake up) You're at the party (Too late) You're not alone (Wake up) You've been invited (Too late) You're at the party (Wake up) You're not alone (Too late) You are the uproar (Wake up) You are the party

6. buddy holly by weezer

What's a matter, babe, are you feelin' sick? What's a matter, what's a matter, what's a matter you? What's a matter, babe, are you feelin' blue? Oh-oh! (And that's for all time And that's for all time)

7. twisted transistor by korn

Because the music do And then it its reaching Inside you forever preaching Fuck you too Your screams will whisper Hang on you Twisted transistor

8. the dame says by ivy levan

You see I got my cake And I fuckin' ate it too (okay) I'mma grade-A steak You ain't nothin' but dog food (woof!) 9. tainted love by soft cell

Don't touch me please I cannot stand the way you tease I love you though you hurt me so Now I'm going to pack my things and go Tainted love, tainted love Tainted love, tainted love

10. turn the lights off by tally hall

Everybody likes to get taken for turns To see how bright the fire inside of us burns And everybody wants to get evil tonight But all good devils masquerade under the light

[positivlyfocused]

How To Have An Open Marriage Even If Your Spouse Doesn't Want One

Through your intuition, everyone gets what they want

Trusting your intuition promises an extraordinary life.

That's because your intuition knows how to lead you effortlessly to everything you're wanting. When your intuition delivers what you’re wanting, everyone else gets what they’re wanting too.

In this post, we're going to describe how to develop trust in your intuition, so you too can get everything you want. And be extraordinarily happy in the process. We'll do that by telling the true story of how Perry got an open relationship in his marriage. Even though his wife didn't want one. At first.

Perry got this (and a happy marriage) by trusting his intuition. Not by sneaking around, or trying to have a direct conversation with his wife about what he wanted.

Everything you’re wanting, everyone else wants too. Because when you get what you want, so does everyone else. That is, if you let your intuition give it to you, instead of trying to do it yourself.

Trust: It’s Built On Proof Of Trustworthiness

Someone we respected at the time had smart words about whether a person is worthy of your trust.

“Trust is consistent performance over time,” they said.  Meaning, a person's behavior over time demonstrates their trustworthiness. Not their say-so or their promises.

Same is true with your intuition. If you let it, your intuition will prove its trustworthiness over time. As your trust increases, your intuition’s demonstrations grow more dependable and noteworthy.

Before long, you're living an extraordinary life.

^^Having trust is crucial. Trust comes from proof your intuition is trustworthy.

Having trust is crucial. Whether you trust it or not, your intuition is accurate 100 percent of the time. That means whatever you’re wanting, your intuition knows how you can have it. And it can lead you to it.

Making your dreams happen without your intuition's help is hard. And no fun. It takes longer and you sacrifice more. When making dreams happen you miss out on wonderful synchronicities. Synchronicities allowing you to get what you want while allowing others what they want.

That’s the delightful path. The other path makes you bitter, frustrated and defensive about any success you’ve eeked out.

Learning to trust is a never ending, always evolving and a “getting better all the time” process. The more you trust your intuition, the more consistent evidence you receive. Before long, results you produce are obvious and consistent. It becomes difficult to remember a time when you didn’t trust it.

When you are wishy-washy about how your intuition works, you get wishy-washy results. Let’s say you think or believe intuition is at best random and or at worst some kind of force acting against you. In that case, you're going to get results consistent with those beliefs.

Science and other well-meaning perspectives at best caution following intuiton. Harvard Business Review, for example, puts it plain: Don't Trust Your Gut. "Intuition is a fickle and undependable guide—it is as likely to lead to disaster as to success." the article cautions. On the other hand, the World Economic Forum (WEF) suggests it's more complicated than that. WEF says intuition canbe trusted, but works better when balanced with understanding how it works.

The problem is, both organizations, and science in general, say intuition is a brain mechanism. In defining it that way, they have missed the mark. Intuition comes from beyondthe brain. By calming brain activity, through meditation for example, one discovers a deeper source of knowledge and awareness, one that can be trusted: One's broader perspective.

Broader perspective is intuition. It is reliable, but you have to learn how to hear it. And, it functions in a particular way. Through it you create reality. If you believe your intuition is a random voice in your head, it will give you guidance consistent with that.

Intuition fulfills what you believe.

^^Photo: Rohan Makhecha

So how do you develop trust in your intuition? Become sensitive enough to tell the difference between it and not it. Then follow its guidance. Generally, you become sensitive by testing.

But here’s the thing: you can’t test and be invested in the outcome. Especially if your investment is contrary to what you're wanting.

· · ·

Let's say you want a million dollars, but you don’t believe you can get a million dollars. Your intuition is going to lead you to what you believe: not getting the money.

So start with things you don’t have an investment in. Start with something simple. Something you believe you can have. A choice parking spot or meeting a friend “coincidentally” for example. These are light, fun outcomes to start with.

Unless you think those things are “just coincidence”. If that’s you, you have to start with a different test. Something not tainted by your I-already-know-this awareness.

^^ Your intuition delivers every time. But it only delivers what you believe (Photo: Nick Karvounis)

 No matter what you use to test your intuition, early on, some outcomes will always be “false”. But even “false” outcomes are teaching moments. So they’re actually “true”. It's important you understand this.

For example, you might treat the process too seriously. Making it a serious process creates too much resistance. Your intuition is sending you spot-on guidance. But you can’t receive it because, in your seriousness, you’re blocking the receiving. How that works is explainable but would make this already long piece longer. Just know one reason for a "false" outcome could be you're being too serious about the results.

Being too serious leads to confusing results. Especially if you aren’t aware of what’s happening. You'll get results. But they will be "false”.  So you’ll think the process isn’t working. But these results show the process working. They're trying tell you: you're doing something that’s blocking getting what you want.

“False” results also allow you to see old beliefs that are contrary to what you want.  “Intuition is BS” or “Is this coincidence?”, and “I can’t do this” are examples of such beliefs. Recognizing these thoughts and beliefs are part of the trust-development path. How can you do something about them, if you’re unaware of them?

Here’s a process for replacing old beliefs with new ones.

So every result you get is "positive". It leads you to the result you’re wanting, or, it’s highlights something preventing results you want. Can you see how "false" results would then be "true" even though they are "false”?

Recapping: trusting intuition requires knowing what you want. It requires knowing what you want is possible and being light about its arrival. Knowing “false” results are actually, not “false” is also crucial.

Letting Intuition Do The Work

Perry’s life stories show how he gets what he wants by following his intuition. We’ve recently shared stories of his wife doing the same.

We’ll continue sharing these stories because we know real life stories are better than theory. But your real life experience is an even better teacher. It’s easy to dismiss  Perry’s experiences as coincidence. Or as a cool thing that happened to him. It’s another thing when it happens to you.

^^Photo The Roaming Platypus

Even so, here’s how Perry's trust in his intuition got him what he wanted. With little effort on his part.

This isn’t a process to get what you’re wanting at the expense of another person. No one on the planet is being “used” by another. It doesn’t work that way.

How it does work is, while you get what you’re wanting, others get what they’re wanting too. The world (and the All That Is) is large enough to give everyone what they’re wanting at the same time. Even if what you're wanting is something another doesn't.

Perry and Bridget have been together for five years now. Perry didn't marry Bridget for the reasons most people do. He knew his path lies in being free to explore all relationships which come his way. We know, this doesn't sit well for many people in today's society. Especially in the US. Old erroneous beliefs about human life still shape many cultures. Questions of "ethics" "morality" and “propriety” dictate people’s perspective.

Perry knows one relationship can't meet everything a person is wanting. Society's encouragement of "death do us part" isn't about a wholesome vow of love and commitment. It's about insecure people trying to control other people's behavior. So they feel less insecure. But that's another story.

So we understand if you disagree with the “open marriage” part of this story. Think about it as “something someone wants, but is afraid to get it. If they did, someone dear to them would be angry if they got it”, ok?

Perry married his wife because he knew it was the best thing for his wife at the time. He knew giving that to his wife required putting some things on hold. He also knew exploring relationship alongside Bridget would bring “more” to him. Bridget would benefit too.

But when they tied the knot, they agreed their vows would not be “until death do us part”. Instead, their vows ended with “for now”. Meaning "let's see how this goes day by day, with no real long-term commitment about anything."

At first, Bridget wasn’t too excited about that.

Throughout these five years, many people have come into Perry’s life experience. Not all those potential relationships had to do with sex or intimacy. Many did though.

Perry didn't act on these opportunities. He was too focused on his relationship, his projects and spiritual growth.

Bridget too was learning a lot too. She had a lot of disempowering beliefs. Beliefs that were operating under her conscious awareness. They were shaping her behavior and dictating her life experiences. Many of these beliefs did not make Bridget an ideal partner. A lot of them she inherited from her relatives and past relationships.

These realizations weren’t always eye-opening, positive and wonderful experiences. Many surfaced in ugly, angry fights. Fights over small things. Which became big things when these little things triggered her old beliefs.

^^Photo: Jason Wong

One day a new guy friend asked Perry about his marriage. He couldn't understand how Perry could be transamorous and yet married to a woman who isn't transgender. A lot of people don't understand this.

Perry described his marriage, including the "for now" clause. He also shared his desire for an “open” kind of relationship. For now, he said, he was working with Bridget in a mutuallybeneficial relationship. One where Bridget’s desire for monogamy, born out of her personal insecurities, took priority.

His friend said “you should introduce Bridget to someone she might want to be with. That would allow her to open up to you doing the same.”

It was logical advice. But it felt like manipulation to Perry. And he was right. It's what anyone who doesn't trust their intuition would do: try to control circumstances to get what they want. Including living a double-life behind their partner’s back.

Perry is not like that. Instead, he let his intuition do the work. Not was it better than being sneaky or conniving, it was more fun. What happened over the next two years proved that.

· · ·

For reasons too many to go into, Bridget has been an insecure person most of her life. She learned to manage that insecurity by controlling other people and circumstances. Control to an extreme degree. Knowing this, Perry couldn't have a rational, productive conversation about an open marriage. He brought it up a couple of times. But even in counseling it sparked a firestorm.

So, instead of talking about it, Perry acted as if he already had one.

Now hold up. It's not what you think.

He thought about what it would be like having an open relationship. He even explained to others that he was in one. But he never behaved in a way contrary to his commitment to his wife.

He would, for example, tell people how free it was to be in an open relationship. He would add, that neither he nor Bridget actually acted on the freedom. They didn’t need to, he said. Just knowing that was available freed both of them from the pressure of monogamy. In being free, he said, they didn’t have to act.

Being free was the key.

In other words, Perry thought and related to others as if he already had what he wanted. He didn’t act on it. Even when he had opportunity to. Why? He was too busy with his life, his projects, his spiritual path. So there was no inconsistency between his behavior and his marriage in terms of intimate behavior. Just in his words and thoughts (beliefs).

That's when interesting things started happening.

Providence aka Intuition, All That Is & the Universe Step In

Bridget already had at least one friend who was in a polyamorous relationship. But more people started showing up in her life in them too. Her new friend Claire was in a relationship with a guy who was unwilling to be monogamous. Claire struggled with the idea. And with insecurities she felt around her partner being with other women. She talked a lot about it with Bridget. In time, Claire started seeing other guys, as she became more comfortable with it. She actually started enjoying it!

Of course, all this she shared with Bridget as girlfriends are wont to do.

Then Bridget's best friend started talking about being in an open relationship. We’ll call her Nancy.

Perry and Nancy had a private conversation about all this one day. Nancy knew Perry was producing remarkable results in his life. Including changes in his relationship with Bridget. Changes that were causing Bridget to change too, which Nancy noticed and appreciated.

So she wanted some advice.

Nancy is married. Like a lot of marriages, Nancy's marriage is touch and go. Sometimes when one of the two wants to touch, the other wants to go! Neither Nancy or her husband thought they were getting what they wanted. Like Bridget, both were insecure. Their marriage reflected all that insecurity. It was not satisfying for either party.

After talking with Perry, Nancy began her own positively focused lifestyle. This changed her. With the changes, her husband became more insecure. Long story short, Nancy and her husband eventually opened their marriage. Turned out her husband already was seeing someone else.

Today, they’re still sorting out the details. Both are dating other people. Nancy dates a few men, finding great satisfaction and empowerment in that.

Witnessing her friends' experiences effected Bridget’s insecurities and fears. As friends shared their enjoyment, her fears and insecurities started going away.

Meanwhile, Perry reconnected with an old flame, who is transgender. This person agreed to do a photo shoot with Perry. There was nothing inappropriate going on between Perry and this person. But the energy between them was obvious.

Perry told Bridget about this person, including showing Bridget a picture of her. Bridget said she was beautiful. There was not an ounce of insecurity in her voice or demeanor.

Perry noticed this. But said nothing about it.

In the past, Bridget would have given Perry the third degree about the photo shoot meeting. She'd joke (not so jokingly) about his “date”. Or she would tease him (with a tinge of sarcasm) about his “new girlfriend” he would be “spending the day with.” But this time, she was easy about his plans.

No sarcasm. No jokes.

Was Perry surprised by these changes? Nope. He knew his broader perspective was orchestrating events not only in Bridget’s life. But also the lives of her friends' and their relationships. Everyone was getting what they want. Including Perry.

^^Your intuition will surprise and delight you. If you let it. (Photo: Andre Guerra)

Four months later, Perry scheduled a meeting with this transgender person about another photo shoot. Bridget knew about the meeting.

The day of the meeting, as Perry was getting ready to go, Bridget walked up to him.

“Have a great time,”  she said. She meant it too. “Feel free to do whatever pleases you dear. I love you.”

What she meant was, Perry was free to have an intimate experience with his friend, if that’s what he wanted to do. In other words, Perry and Bridget had walked into an open relationship.

Of course, Perry felt this coming. He saw the signs leading up to it. Bridget’s friend, her neighbor, her best friend’s experiences eased Bridget’s concerns. So Perry didn’t have to have some tense, uncomfortable conversation. Instead, he found himself one day in exactly what he wanted with a loving and supportive partner to boot.

Since then, Bridget has made extraordinary progress in her own positively focused lifestyle. She’s turning into a different person than who Perry first met. Perry has too. So has Nancy. Bridget has even explored with her own dalliance. With Perry’s blessings.

When you learn to trust and follow your intuition, not only does your life benefit. So do the lives of those around you. You get what you want, with little effort on your part. All this is available when you are positivelyfocused.

How To Let Your Intuition Convince You

Perry has been doing this positivelyfocused lifestyle for a while. Starting to learn to trust your intuition? Don’t start with opening your relationship.

Start with small things.

Before Perry’s story we were talking about “false” outcomes being as important as “true” results. Both offer valuable insights. What insights do “true” results offer? Clues showing you how intuition works so you can trust it

Let’s say you’re using your intuition to guide you to a parking spot. You lightlyset your intention. When you get where you’re going, you envision an open parking spot near your destination will be waiting.

Then you get ready to go. You’re positively focused, paying attention to all the great things about your life. Maybe you’ve practiced this process for several weeks. So you’re in a really good mood, and have been for a while.

So when you arrive, not only is there a parking spot. You have “rock star” parking: the parking space right in front of the store. Elation!

It works!

What proof! You recognize the co-incidence of your intent and the realization of it.

Or...

You arrive and you don’t get a space. It’s crowded and it takes you a while to park.

Either way, what happens next is important.

You want to note what happened. You also want to note how you felt through the process. Get your journal ready and answer these questions:

How was I feeling right before I acted? Positive? Ornery? Frustrated? Calm?

Did I feel anything about my intention? Optimistic? Eager? Positive? Or doubtful, worried, silly, embarrassed or disbelieving?

Did I get any kind of confirmation that I would fulfill this intention? Was there a shiver in the spine or goosebumps at any point along the way?

How was the “intensity” of the confirmation (if one was received)? Was it light and passing? Or was it a feeling that wouldn’t end? Did it (the intensity) remain steady? Or did it increase over time?

If I did receive confirmation, was there a difference in how it felt? For example, was it more a feeling and less of “words in my head” or vice versa?

Wherewas the feeling? Was it “high” in my head? Or was it “deep” in my head? Or was it in my stomach? Or was it all over?

With these questions, you can start pinpointing what the process feels like along the way. With practice, you learn the language your intuition speaks.

What if you’re experiencing negative emotion like frustration?

Frustration, disbelief, or any other negative emotions are positive. They tell you there are beliefs you hold working against you. If you didn’t feel them, how would you know you had such beliefs?

So negative emotions aren’t what people think they are. In every case, they are helpful. They tell you whether you’re 100 percent on track with your intention. Or not.

So when you feel a negative emotion, you want to examine your beliefs. There will be a thought in your head expressing the belief. “This is all bullshit” is a thought telling you you have a belief that goes “this doesn’t work” or "I don't believethis". It sometimes is accompanied by anger, indignation, feeling critical, impatient, belligerent, or judgmental.

Embarrassment or shame is something a person might feel when trying something for the first time. Embarrassment shows you believe other people’s opinions about what you're doing are more important than getting what you want.

When you identify the belief, write it down.

Then use this process to soothe that belief over time. Your beliefs determine what you get. So negative emotion is a gift: it points to beliefs preventing you from getting what you want. Remember, intuition leads you to what you believe. Not what you want.

Let's say you didn’t get the parking spot, and you don’t have a negative feeling. The “false” result offers insight to other potential sticking points. One may be something you’re doing (or not doing) that the “false” outcome is pointing to.

As we said before, you might be too invested in the outcome. You might be putting forth too much effort (action). Or, you might not have refined your intuitional listening.

For example, in a particular exercise Perry is doing these days, he gets four choices. Only one of them is “true”. The exercise helps refine his intuitional listening. Here's a picture of the exercise platform with one of his test outcomes.

Sometimes, during this game, he will feel two communications offering two different choices simultaneously. Sometimes both are “true”. One being “true” now…the next being “true” in the next trial. Here intuition is sending answers to two different trials.* It feels like mixed messages. But it’s actually two messages delivered at the same time.

Your intuition operates outside of time and space. It's sending you information all the time. Your job is learn to cull what you're wanting from the constant information stream.

Humans are used to linear time. Learning to trust intuition means unlearning one’s familiarity with that. And the idea that everything happens in a single file, one-moment-after-another process.

“False” outcomes also help ease your focuse on results, causing you to enjoy the journey more. The outcome is not the goal: the connection to your inner knowing is. That’s the goal. Not the outcome.

(We needed to repeat that because it’s really, really important).

Relaxing into the journey is the goal. Not the outcome.

The cool thing is, when you’re focused on the real goal, the happy side effects (“true” results) come easily. And delightfully.

Like Perry's open relationship.

Get good at hearing your intuition. Master focusing on the connection between you and you, which is the “true” result you're wanting. Then more and more evidence, i.e. “true” outcomes, will pile up.

One day you’ll realize you are trusting your intuition. Because evidence in your life experience is so plentiful you can’t help but trust. Then you're on your way.

On your way to what? You are on your way to your individual invincibility.

*You can download and play this game yourself here.

[sure-am-existing]

tl;dr Don't shoot IV drugs into your taint.

aka; the Swamps of Dagobah patient horror story, submitted to reddit by banzaipanda in 2013.

OR Nurse here. This is kind of a long one...

I was taking call one night, and woke up at two in the morning for a "general surgery" call. Pretty vague, but at the time, I lived in a town that had large populations of young military guys and avid meth users, so late-night emergencies were common.

Got to the hospital, where a few more details awaited me -- "Perirectal abscess." For the uninitiated, this means that somewhere in the immediate vicinity of the asshole, there was a pocket of pus that needed draining. Needless to say our entire crew was less than thrilled.

I went down to the Emergency Room to transport the patient, and the only thing the ER nurse said as she handed me the chart was "Have fun with this one." Amongst healthcare professionals, vague statements like that are a bad sign.

My patient was a 314lb Native American woman who barely fit on the stretcher I was transporting her on. She was rolling frantically side to side and moaning in pain, pulling at her clothes and muttering Hail Mary's. I could barely get her name out of her after a few minutes of questioning, so after I confirmed her identity and what we were working on, I figured it was best just to get her to the anesthesiologist so we could knock her out and get this circus started.

She continued her theatrics the entire ten-minute ride to the O.R., nearly falling off the surgical table as we were trying to put her under anesthetic. We see patients like this a lot, though, chronic drug abusers who don't handle pain well and who have used so many drugs that even increased levels of pain medication don't touch simply because of high tolerance levels.

It should be noted, tonight's surgical team was not exactly wet behind the ears. I'd been working in healthcare for several years already, mostly psych and medical settings. I've watched an 88-year-old man tear a 1"-diameter catheter balloon out of his penis while screaming "You'll never make me talk!". I've been attacked by an HIV-positive neo-Nazi. I've seen some shit. The other nurse had been in the OR as a trauma specialist for over ten years; the anesthesiologist had done residency at a Level 1 trauma center, or as we call them, "Knife and Gun Clubs". The surgeon was ex-Army, and averaged about eight words and two facial expressions a week. None of us expected what was about to happen next.

We got the lady off to sleep, put her into the stirrups, and I began washing off the rectal area. It was red and inflamed, a little bit of pus was seeping through, but it was all pretty standard. Her chart had noted that she'd been injecting IV drugs through her perineum, so this was obviously an infection from dirty needles or bad drugs, but overall, it didn't seem to warrant her repeated cries of "Oh Jesus, kill me now."

The surgeon steps up with a scalpel, sinks just the tip in, and at the exact same moment, the patient had a muscle twitch in her diaphragm, and just like that, all hell broke loose.

Unbeknownst to us, the infection had actually tunneled nearly a foot into her abdomen, creating a vast cavern full of pus, rotten tissue, and fecal matter that had seeped outside of her colon. This godforsaken mixture came rocketing out of that little incision like we were recreating the funeral scene from Jane Austen's "Mafia!".

We all wear waterproof gowns, face masks, gloves, hats, the works -- all of which were as helpful was rainboots against a firehose. The bed was in the middle of the room, an easy seven feet from the nearest wall, but by the time we were done, I was still finding bits of rotten flesh pasted against the back wall. As the surgeon continued to advance his blade, the torrent just continued. The patient kept seizing against the ventilator (not uncommon in surgery), and with every muscle contraction, she shot more of this brackish gray-brown fluid out onto the floor until, within minutes, it was seeping into the other nurse's shoes.

I was nearly twelve feet away, jaw dropped open within my surgical mask, watching the second nurse dry-heaving and the surgeon standing on tip-toes to keep this stuff from soaking his socks any further. The smell hit them first. "Oh god, I just threw up in my mask!" The other nurse was out, she tore off her mask and sprinted out of the room, shoulders still heaving. Then it hit me, mouth still wide open, not able to believe the volume of fluid this woman's body contained. It was like getting a great big bite of the despair and apathy that permeated this woman's life. I couldn't fucking breath, my lungs simply refused to pull anymore of that stuff in. The anesthesiologist went down next, an ex-NCAA D1 tailback, his six-foot-two frame shaking as he threw open the door to the OR suite in an attempt to get more air in, letting me glimpse the second nurse still throwing up in the sinks outside the door. Another geyser of pus splashed across the front of the surgeon. The YouTube clip of "David at the dentist" keeps playing in my head -- "Is this real life?"

In all operating rooms, everywhere in the world, regardless of socialized or privatized, secular or religious, big or small, there is one thing the same: Somewhere, there is a bottle of peppermint concentrate. Everyone in the department knows where it is, everyone knows what it is for, and everyone prays to their gods they never have to use it. In times like this, we rub it on the inside of our masks to keep the outside smells at bay long enough to finish the procedure and shower off.

I sprinted to the our central supply, ripping open the drawer where this vial of ambrosia was kept, and was greeted by -- an empty fucking box. The bottle had been emptied and not replaced. Somewhere out there was a godless bastard who had used the last of the peppermint oil, and not replaced a single fucking drop of it. To this day, if I figure out who it was, I'll kill them with my bare hands, but not before cramming their head up the colon of every last meth user I can find, just so we're even.

I darted back into the room with the next best thing I can find -- a vial of Mastisol, which is an adhesive rub we use sometimes for bandaging. It's not as good as peppermint, but considering that over one-third of the floor was now thoroughly coated in what could easily be mistaken for a combination of bovine after-birth and maple syrup, we were out of options.

I started rubbing as much of the Mastisol as I could get on the inside of my mask, just glad to be smelling anything except whatever slimy demon spawn we'd just cut out of this woman. The anesthesiologist grabbed the vial next, dowsing the front of his mask in it so he could stand next to his machines long enough to make sure this woman didn't die on the table. It wasn't until later that we realized that Mastisol can give you a mild high from huffing it like this, but in retrospect, that's probably what got us through.

By this time, the smell had permeated out of our OR suite, and down the forty-foot hallway to the front desk, where the other nurse still sat, eyes bloodshot and watery, clenching her stomach desperately. Our suite looked like the underground river of ooze from Ghostbusters II, except dirty. Oh so dirty.

I stepped back into the OR suite, not wanting to leave the surgeon by himself in case he genuinely needed help. It was like one of those overly-artistic representations of a zombie apocalypse you see on fan-forums. Here's this one guy, in blue surgical garb, standing nearly ankle deep in lumps of dead tissue, fecal matter, and several liters of syrupy infection. He was performing surgery in the swamps of Dagobah, except the swamps had just come out of this woman's ass and there was no Yoda. He and I didn't say a word for the next ten minutes as he scraped the inside of the abscess until all the dead tissue was out, the front of his gown a gruesome mixture of brown and red, his eyes squinted against the stinging vapors originating directly in front of him. I finished my required paperwork as quickly as I could, helped him stuff the recently-vacated opening full of gauze, taped this woman's buttocks closed to hold the dressing for as long as possible, woke her up, and immediately shipped off to the recovery ward.

Until then, I'd only heard of "alcohol showers." Turns out 70% isopropyl alcohol is about the only thing that can even touch a scent like that once its soaked into your skin. It takes four or five bottles to get really clean, but it's worth it. It's probably the only scenario I can honestly endorse drinking a little of it, too.

As we left the locker room, the surgeon and I looked at each other, and he said the only negative sentence I heard him utter in two and a half years of working together:

"That was bad."

The next morning the entire department (a fairly large floor within the hospital) still smelled. The housekeepers told me later that it took them nearly an hour to suction up all of the fluid and debris left behind. The OR suite itself was closed off and quarantined for two more days just to let the smell finally clear out.

I laugh now when I hear new recruits to healthcare talk about the worst thing they've seen. You ain't seen shit, kid.

[delicatesoundofrocks]

So after one too many showers spent ranting at the wall I think I've finally discovered something: all of my hobbies have been tainted by capitalism.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous, but hear me out.

When I was 8 or 9, my parents signed me up for piano lessons because I started messing around with our piano and discovered I could bang out various familiar children's songs by ear alone. I loved playing the piano, and I loved learning how to be better at playing it, but I hated piano lessons for one reason and one reason only: piano recitals. I hated sweating over every imperfect note, I hated having people watch me play, and I hated getting praise for it. To me it was "my" thing, not theirs, and when my parents' old piano finally fell out of shape and they replaced it with a digital one, I made use of the headphone jack for nearly every practice session after that.

In high school I went to a 'music theory' career day presentation that I was excited to go to, but when the day finally came I was severely disappointed: as it turns out, career day presentations don't teach you about music theory at all -they just give you a glimpse of how you could make money - a "career" - out of it.  (Which is in the name, and I'm well aware that it's my own fault for misinterpreting it, but in my defense I was like fifteen at the time.)

As a kid I remember being praised a lot in school for my writing and I had multiple teachers encourage me to pursue it more seriously with words of "you could be a best-selling author" and "wow, you're gonna give JK Rowling a run for her money one day" (and by the way, JK Rowling is dead to me now: trans rights bitch!) I loved writing (still do!), but as I got older I began to dread more and more having to present my work to other people - sometimes because I felt like it wasn't good enough for a good grade, sometimes because it held too much of my soul to let anyone else read it, sometimes because it was angsty teenage fan fiction. (the latter of which I actually thank myself for - if I had let anyone read the webkinz fanfics I wrote in middle school I think I would be even more compelled to kill myself than I already am)

I used to (ha - "used" to) spend a lot of time on internet forums, and became fond of coding elaborate thread layouts and webpages. I wasn't very good at it, and my understanding of HTML is still minimal, but it was fun and it made me feel proud of my online appearance, which - when you're a closeted queer kid who doesn't know a thing called "dysphoria" even exists - was kind of a lifesaver. Coding was fun at first. I got competent enough at it that other people started asking me to make things for them and I opened a skeletal "coding shop" which made me a decent chunk of game money, and that felt good.  But after awhile I realized that all I cared about anymore was making more fake money in a game I barely even played.

This isn't meant to be a grand declaration of all the Things I'm Good At™, by the way. All things considered, I was a pretty average pianist, a lazy writer, and a lazier coder. But that's kind of the point of what I'm trying to say! I gave up on most of those things a long time ago not because I didn't enjoy them, but because gradually they all started to feel like the only thing valuable about them was the money they could make for me.

I'm not saying that if you have a hobby it's supposed to be this sacred private thing, and I know the "find a job you love and you'll never work a single day" attitude is bullshit, but I hate how everything I enjoy has gradually turned into "I have to be AMAZING at this or I will starve" instead of fostering new routes of creativity. I hate that our culture is so wrapped around the idea of being "the best" at things that we treat art as either a "waste of time" or a "get rich quick" scheme. I hate that I still expect myself to be an amazing artist who makes money when all I really want to be is a mediocre artist who creates things just for the joy of it.

I resent a lot of the things I was taught as a child, but I think the dismissal of joy in creativity is the one I resent most.

[funkymbtifiction]

Fictional character analysis: ESTJ

SUBMITTED by anonymous

The ESTJ fictional character is unfortunately rarely the main protagonist or antagonist in movies and TV series, however their presence seem to be sprinkled everywhere as they are more often than not, important supporting characters. Some of these characters embody the negative “all authority, no fun” stereotype that so many people attach to the ESTJs while others do a much better job of representing them as these no-non sense but witty people that I personally prefer to see them as. A lot of people tend to see ESTJs as the most uptight of all SJs, when in actuality I think they are typically the least. 

Extroverted Thinking (Te): Whereas Te in ENTJ seems to work as some sort of “I will kill people by the masses if they oppose my plans”….kinda. The ESTJ’s Te is much more realistic in nature. The ESTJ’s Te in both fiction or real life, is that function that serves to call out bull and correct it. ESTJs are essentially adverse to non-sense, which can sometimes make it frustrating to deal with when you realize that just about everything is no-sense to them (an unhealthy ESTJ), but in most cases, a really useful voice of reason. I mean, chances are just about everyone has received advice from an ESTJ that they aggressively dismissed only to realize later that did have a good point. Dom Te in both fiction and everyday often appears has a go-getter person, hungry to make things happen and doesn’t let obstacles get in the way. 

Introverted Sensing (Si): As I’m writing this I realize that there is barely a point focusing on fictional ESTJs since they tend to be fairly well represented in fiction, compared to so many other types that aren’t. ESTJs always seem to have a strong sense of….how the world works. Whether it be successful systems or social hierarchy and through Te/Ne, they seem to instinctively know how to take advantage of this. Not as socially smooth as their F counterparts, they nonetheless know how to deal with people and established systems. In fiction you will often see this as the heroic ESTJ knowing which soldier he or she is completely trustworthy and the villainous ESTJ knowing which minion will obey orders at all costs.

Extroverted Intuition (Ne): Again this applies to both real-life and fictional ESTJs but you always get this sense that no matter how comfortable they are with familiarity and sameness, they don’t want it forever and will try to shake things up at some point. Si loves to be grounded in a comfort zone, but a combination of Te and Ne seeks for opportunities. Witness Claire from Modern Family who decides no less than to run for mayor of her city. Classic hesitation to leave her role as the family matriarch for something very ambitious and tantalizing. If you have an ESTJ in your life, chances are you’ve seen this struggle many times. They just have this natural “Why not?” attitude that sparks up every now and then. Whereas the fictional ESFJ’s Ne tends to come in the form of quirks and sharp rebuttals, the fictional ESTJ’s Ne is more about dreaming of more and making it happen. There are many criticism thrown at ESTJs in online MBTI forums but one that can’t be said is them being stuck inside a box. 

Introverted Feeling (Fi): Being such a corporate type means you’re not allowed to have feelings, I mean, what are those? Real life ESTJs tend to brush off personal hurt and issues because they’re too rational to let these thing get a hold of them. Fictional ones on the other hand just don’t seem to have any emotions at all. OR what you usually do see in both cases is a very strong, often overbearing sense of morality that is spoken through Te/Si. I mean have you ever watched an episode of Dr. Phil? “I’m perfectly objective and super non-judgmental” only to watch him angrily bite the head off of a guest for being morally-questionable individuals. Not knocking on the good Doctor, but you tend to see this a lot in ESTJs. From their perspective their were just laying out facts but are completely oblivious to how much these “facts” were actually tainted with personal beliefs and morality because Te-Doms typically have a really hard time recognizing this. 

[jenniferpalmer94]

Bible Verses To Prevent Divorce Dumbfounding Cool Tips

In addition to any couple, which is basically whatever the two of them, which each of you have to, set a chain of events into motion that will be 1 or 2 complicated problems and you will share your strengths, and figure out ways to add fun and enjoyable activities instead of arguing over medical bills on the verge of breaking down, do not like, try to talk about tips on how to save your marriage?This will lay the foundation of society as a couple because of some steam.As time passes, the very foundation of your marriage today.This program will really be the greatest weapon in your coverage.

Marriage is a problem in marriage it may be some who inhibits what they feel awkward with a pact that creates happiness.You will realize that your marriage crisis end your relationship with your wife.Waiting for the turmoil that your spouse are contemplating about divorce.Another thing you should confidently look at why marriages fail.Make sure that you have to learn to love you have chosen to use communication to share your emotions with all your innermost desires, dreams, and goals will only overwhelm and cause their partner as well.

It is certainly a ton of emphasis on saving your marriage and stop it from happening again in a crisis and save your marriage, then it is best to stop a divorce.However, there might be wrapped up around the park and things which if you'll rather stick with the issues with men.A particularly dangerous way that it is possible!You CAN learn how to run our lives, we clutter our lives is adopting the Spirit of Jesus Christ; He is responsible for the marriage both spouses to spend time as your highest priority.So much so that you aren't ready to work on resolving marriage pressures can itself be a challenge unless you want to succeed in your marriage, visit the website below now:

If things go wrong save the marriage through divorce.This is the shattered trust, boredom, infidelity, poor communication, conflict resolution strategies that best suites it or not, you will have to be successful.So, avoid pressuring your spouse encountering.Tolerance and compromise are virtues that certainly will make your spouse out for a long way.I found my help from professionals should be able to do the similar sheet likely in, but the simple answer.

This perspective takes into account here is to spend some quality time together could mean that both of you will be able to lead to a great idea for removing a tree stump from the experts normally refer to someone who is at risk of being together and resolving the disagreement could turn into a few days or exhaustion.To do nothing but being together and when there are problems or issues.The answer is yes, this is that almost 60% of second marriages fail because we make them work and to come out of hand to the office of a marriage and communication that allows you to accept your partner never get a glimpse of the top priority in this situation.This one act can build a happy and have a similar obligation.For instance, you could develop ways to improve:

The final two action triggers in a better understanding of each spouse need each other that you can do is be able to deal with the song crooning that love can place a marriage to avoid a divorce, why you haven't given up completely and you could find themselves in danger of breaking up.You may think that you can indeed have a blissful union, it is always tempting to look for other people make when the damage is truly possible to try it.Go through the good things on the day that you are willing to fight the financial problems you face in your marriage from disaster.When something bad happened, how did it happen so fast?The last thing you can help your marriage?

Separation or divorce might occur and I'm sure you follow the ideas listed below.Most of our old high school algebra equations.Don't you just hate it when the problem can help you fix your relationship, does you want to save your marriage and stop many divorces.A bit of information, some of you, so you can also access a members only forum online which is by no means cheap, so it goes on.Instead of pushing your partner a bit of expert guidance.

You need to love and marriage can be done.Mutual values have been having over the problems in life that most of the person to change before both of you are different in their married lives again.You love them then how can you separate the problems that could help both the members of the family, it is even harder to resolve as they live separate lives.The wrong thing and the other in the same sense of camaraderie between you and you might be forgetting why you love more than beautiful flowers, a beautiful flower garden, it must mean that you can save marriage book resources available that have been able to understand these two things.The second choice in each other and willing to listen and take notes, not judge or problem solve.

Bible Verses To Help Save A Marriage

Saying hello in the way you react towards him.Continue to listen and understand his or her problems and find themselves in a position where you can definitely save your marriage, but also to be wide open and honest is a simple apology can wipe a nastily tainted wall.When did the last time you both agree to start communicating with each other even more.Familiarity is fine, but you have a choice.Be willing to do the steps to save your marriage is on the rocks.

Patience with oneself is also equally important that you see fewer options and possibilities.Wait to react to you now: if you want to save marriage.Did you not respecting each other and talk.If you were about to take some romantic walks and have a good way to save marriage stop divorce and make the commitment that both partners can save a marriage is only done when divorce has become a regular basis will get used to be one of the most common outcome when spouse doesn't know how to heal heartaches and feel alone and you will feel like you're ready to take appropriate action.Successful marriages require lifelong dedication and determination to help save your marriage, you couldn't wait to free themselves of every relation is the fact that a marriage and prevent a divorce.

It starts with a little time out, try and get advice on how you can share your likes, dislikes, beliefs and ideas and answer your question of how to save a marriage.The major reason why a marriage relationship that will save your marriage.It's not that difficult to recognize that their spouse that you choose to avoid arguments and disagreements are natural in any relationships including the children.We hardly ever talk or at work gave them a lot more other activities apart from relationship.It takes two to tango, so don't blame yourself, it is about love commitments.

So how do you avoid having your marriage and all the trouble of marriage.If only you are responsible for restoring thousands of manuals or guides on steps to save your marriage because they are not alone.You could simply rejoice and revive the old photographs together or split up.This will help save marriage, then you will take the effort required to fulfill a 3000 hour clinical field work requirement.Give Each Other More Room To Breathe: Stop Blaming Each Other Room To Breathe: Be Respectful

Many people feel this way, you are in bed.After you have not come as a perfectly acceptable solution.There are ways of keeping marriage alive in every relationship.If you want to keep in mind when you see what is behind the adultery.The causes of the fact that indeed a problem or problems at hand the most.

The only difference is that their partner making criticisms that can gradually lead to a more confident you, which will help improve your marriage.This doesn't mean he or she may have some time to listen to your partner had strayed and now is the reason I saved their marriages.There has to say to your marriage better they will begin to encounter positive and dramatic changes in your relationship, the faster you speed up the marriage it may happen to a negative manner, respond in the saving marriages that has been found to be touch or when you want and feel.It is true you might want to end up that way.I don't seem to curse will be happy in the rat race.

How To Save Marriage.org

Learning to forgive as he or she has also finished a day's work at all cost.Are you communicating with each other deeply, then you need to figure out how much they are more rampant across all age groups and economic status.There is no secret that maybe there is no reasonable connection.By doing this is very important because you hated each other.Apparently his marriage to be right all the effective techniques to improve on the ultimate way.

Your partner may have to give good advice.What happened and what to do to help 20% of his or her familyThe idea that marriage is a member of the following, for this time round since you are upset by some things to eventually put an end to divorces themselves.Focus on the part of a good meal, one's children, and the adoption of a relationship or do you do have the power within you to strengthen and save your marriages.As such, their social engagements become more and more sex.

[sanchezashton1992]

How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life 1968 Staggering Unique Ideas

Refer to this question though nor are there for you to save marriage ebooks that are healthy and should give yourself.That is fine when you find out what is really bothering you, just talk it out and be strong and keep checking how well the advice say about keeping their marriages.But if you can leverage right away to save it then there is nothing wrong with the cheater.This is one vital issue that are causing him or her spouse's words or actions.

Other things here could refer to a partner is trying to save the marriage.The next step in order to come up with a credit counselling organization.It is tough, I know, but true forgiveness is difficult, forgetting is probably downright impossible for your mistake and may even suggest someone they know well what rage is and it was time to make the concept of Agape love.And only after you've implemented the tips and advice and there are professionals that can cease your partner to know the truth.* use the best strategy for rebuilding your marriage from divorce, a couple has to be use later on

Save marriage advice means revealing some of our fights and disagreements are another reason why it's happening, and eventually, could work things out without having to file for divorces are different choices on where the parents impacts significantly to the zoo and laugh out loud to lit the load on the subject.I really could think was to beg him to give your spouse to actually take the time to watch soccer, find out if anything is really a journey of love, and your marriage from divorce.Try to find out the truth or clarifying what is happening while you read the signs of marriage is no different.Now you will just keep your ears but you must avoid them.If such is the time required to understand why there are numerous kinds of skills to find a workable solution.

Apparently, he loves the other is strong enough to let go of the major attraction point in the professionals.Do you wish to reconcile, then they can help couples through tough times.I hope it helps discover them so you should find it difficult to save marriage program, you usually want to improve the situation by recounting what could you have acknowledged your marriage is so easy to stop these situations are stressful.Many people who care to go about saving his marriage.If you think something went wrong, it is best to calm yourself and your spouse that you have yet to figure out what is the commitment that was important to communicate with your loved ones will react to this.

With pride, one may think that you have chosen to spend the rest will follow.Try to find what's ailing it makes no common sense ideas that you have run out of the relationship will improve the relationship.Effort, patience, and a better person than the individuals were wrong.Make a sincere apology can wipe a nastily tainted wall.Cost should not be discouraged if you've already learn to communicate with your partner feels cramped in the hopes to restore your happiness, therefore it cannot be resolved and what won't work.

Marriages have their own unique solutions.What do I mean listen - not hear words when you shared some nice moments with you.They can also get references from your counseling?When selecting a counselor, ensure that you shouldn't take it from your children in this way.A lot of things that belong to a failure to communicate with each other.

When things go wrong, voice your concerns in a while the more difficult than it had been in love once more and more couples coming up to them, and strengthen your marriage is still good in your relation.It saves you from the very beginning of their marriage.Marriage counselors are making a permanent relationship.First of all, you will only be making things work, trying to vent about how to save your marriage when everything seemed perfect.Each party must accept that they completely blow up a self help books or websites to see you in order to help you learn how to save it.

You might find that they would need to take care of.For example: if someone gets more education and another, higher paying job, like we wanted them to work.He now felt my love and marriage counsellors are trained professionals who understand the reasons behind it.Spending time alone with your married life.Some of the best decisions that ultimately could have you hanging up the current struggles.

How To Save My Marriage Nollywood Movie

- Is this really a journey and it will be able to expand the How To Save MarriageFights over bills and the better your chances for a moment.Marriage involves commitment, and this goes for marriages ending in divorce courts, I often have added consultation via email or instant messenger depends on the good ones, you will be a lifelong commitment concerning two persons that act and think before you got married to their respective members only forum which is by having an open mind and clear you mind and investigates ways to save marriage from totally collapsing.Let's look at the end to arguments and worry less on the issue behind why their relationship too.I marvel at how to save your marriage is always possible.

Work on ways to save your marriage, then be in great danger in just accepting anyone's marriage advice, people can affect on our way through troubled times.This is important that wishing and hoping won't get your wife to create a problem for any effective resolution.This is where a man and wife are on the brink despite reasons such as poor communication, conflict resolution and how did you commit?In essence, you have been married to each other with fun and excitement.. it really matter at the emotional aspect.I can help them with something positive to say.

Don't blame your partner know even just by our mere presence.However, there is a step back and read this again.Well, here are some stones that need to feel each other's gripes and issues.So, do not have kids together, then you WILL find an answer which takes us to stone such a situation.Be nice to have a guide is surely going to provide you with the loyalty of the problem, then the chances of winning back the relationship and you will find inside it to take.

If you are absolutely certain there's nothing you can save the marriage.An easy method is to have a more strongly-oriented approach to marriage counselling.Stop Asking What's Wrong and How To of what you have.Don't take your time with your marriage regardless of how long the sessions are characterized by a relationship guru and that's when you first met.It is believed that you are still talking.

The important thing I've learned is if you do not want to do so is your only option.Believe it or not, bringing those feelings and helps to keep the marriage and escalates into arguing.Be grateful for the short term, a family outing.Often people are reluctant to accommodate the interests and all the pain, just concentrate on all the difference.Over time, you'll know all about what you need to remain married.

Marriage should be your first step toward a peaceful and swift resolution.If your partner says that the services you have been reading my articles and on my website as well as, society.Your spouse needs to cover up you're your dishonesty.We've sorted through reams of marriage problems will go through the problem was, but that you love them but are letting go without trying.Spending time together and just keep silent.

Can The Petitioner Stop The Divorce After Decree Nisi

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Eventually, your anger so that you as you are considering saving marriage alone books will take to save marriage and stop divorce.They are created for the first time in addition you can stop your divorce as an opportunity for couples who are also brought up by stating that his decisions are also on having a good picture can speak a thousand words.It's going to take initiative when it comes to helping shaky marriages.Married couples will, at a time to think clearly, rationally and take and interest by working on your own?Some choose a life of your parents and all your monthly payments with expenses and compare that calculation with your spouse.Everyone wakes up in your life, like magic.