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oh thank god
#art from a while back#i played hk first and deepnest was like. the most uncomfortable ive ever been playing the game#mainly because its just so DARK#as for rw... when i got to shaded...... what the actual Hell#i eventually got used to just dying in the dark and exploring the first parts of the region but like. Why is it pitch black#i didnt even realize there was a path to the scav merchant at the first room..... i got to memory crypts before finding it in my next run#hollow knight#rain world#hk ghost#rw slugcat#rw survivor#artatat#?!?@?@?@?@ the alt text got removed for a sec Sorry about that im not sure why or how that happened#also im completely aware deepnest without a lantern is much darker but atleast it isnt pitch black. You know#i also wanna add on the fact i entered deepnest after the mantis lords and thought. “what kind of winning gift is this!?!?!?”#and felt like cornifer for the first couple of minutes LOL#but i had nowhere to go so womp womp :P#to clarify: i dont hate shaded its actually my top route to go from industrial to shoreline#but i hate deepnest with all my heart❤️ godbless#reading the rbs here is so fun.... so true guys#digital art
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danmarch 🐉💎
#honkai star rail#dan heng#march 7th#danmarch#fanart#hsr#what else do i tag. i have no idea#anyway. im breaking my VERY LONG oc art streak to post my one(1) contribution to star rail#i care them very much#ive been playing this game so religiously and they have not left my team#tragic past(emo) vs tragic past(girly pop)#theres NO WAY with marchs very teenage girl mind that she does not have a crush on the hot cool mysterious yet caring dragon guy#who stays in the room right next to her#and the fact that he teases her so much........#the whole ass belabog quest he throws in little harmless march roasts every so often#he fucking CARE her#i bets shes like a filipino mom with that camera. every oppertunity (picture!!!!)#and dan heng gets dragged into it#he is honing his photography skills against his will#any nice place? shes like (lemme pose can you get a photo of me?)#dan heng just sighs#they bond over silently judging stelle rummaging through the garbage#cast each other that best friend glance as half her body is sticking out of a trash bin#i like to think you see them hanging out on the train together#with dan heng reading some obscure 8th century book on civilization pattern and development#and march is humming and putting stickers and aesthetic shit in her scrapbook#taping a piece of antimatter legion loot in the middle of a page#and with bubbly handwriting (we beat some bad guys today!!! <333 so fun!!)
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mira !!! :]
#isat#in stars and time#isat mirabelle#isat spoilers#<- due to act 3 optional content !#the img might be being chewed due to weird canvas size oops ah well#one of these miras is not like the other#one of these miras doesnt belong ASFASFSDAFA#a majority of these are based on things mentioned / that happen in the house cuz i thought itd be fun to draw :D#so like the wilting plant is from gardening room dialogue#the poster with ppl holding hands and sparkly eyes is (i think??) from some SAPSAPSAAP dialogue in one of the first rooms#i tried looking around ISAT to see if it's also in there too but couldnt find it so uh correct me if im wrong if thats NOT an exclusive LOL#side note the 2 in the poster are some old nuz ocs isatified ASDFASFA#funnily enough tho they are from 2 different games if they actually ever met they would hate each others guts i think. hmm...#however both are also the most qualified to help with promotional stuff so theres that ASDFAFA#mira looking at her bonding proposals is sorta on the tin but#the fact that she has like right next to her while she sleeps in her dresser makes me :(#cuz to me it potrays how much theyve been weighing over her cuz of how close shes been keeping them with her vs putting them on a bookshelf#or something idk if that makes sense i dont have proper words atm#but uhhh moving on chalkboard is from one of the optional events#which i think is! important!!! i dont think ive seen many ppl talk about it but!! yeah!#however i too do not have words on it atm but!!! yeah!!!! moving on for now!#the 'mira' that is really just the change god is ofc from the change god event :]#aaand ofc the iconic finish from mira towards the king#and then some misc miras with swords for funsies tbh ASFAFA#but yeah! i like mira a lot actually but as with many things i do not currently have many words to properly articulate *why*#all i know in my heart of hearts is that she is near and dear and special to me personally#one day. one day i will be able to gather my thoughts in a cohesive manner but that day. is not today!#anyway tag talk over :]
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When the men at the function are divorced…
You ever fall so far deep into art block you come out the other side going back to your roots (oc x canon)?
Anyway have some farmer Aster and Shane watching old horror movies. Are they divorced? Yes. Is Shane complaining? Yes. Does Aster not give a damn and invite himself to their food and couch? Absolutely.
I finally found an old horror movie I used to be obsessed with as a kid, so I’m bestowing that trait onto Aster.. He absolutely has a stack of horror movie DVDs he left at Marnie’s from before Shane moved in with him.
Jas was only a lil guy when the whole Shane and Aster getting married thing happened, so she barely remembers him, but given how much of a shady jerk Aster is, he’d definitely be able to charm the kid into thinking he was the coolest guy in Pelican Town.
Shane hates it. Jas has also taken an unfortunate liking to horror movies, even if it means she has trouble sleeping.
#stardew fanart#stardew farmer#stardew shane#sdv shane#sdv farmer#sdv fanart#farmer Aster#digital art#they’re so stupid I love them#Ive been on a Shane kick lately#fun fact the first time I ever posted Aster was on Amino#I feel like Shane is the type to scold Jas for watching stuff that makes it hard to sleep#only to come to her room with her to comfort her with stories and shit#he is doing this for Jas#definitely not because he’s also terrified
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Eternally grateful for Adamross
#fun fact#the line in jaws?#‘the whites of your eyes burn from across the room?’#written about this guy#sleep token#sleep token iv#iv sleep token#hi iv#i just think hes neat
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You ever think about what's gonna happen when the Welcome Home website updates in December? Hopefully, at least for what I think, we'll get to see the fabled Julierella! Or any visual parts of the show in general. Probably something fit for the holiday spirit.
Maybe wondering about their relatives and loved ones living outside the neighborhood, and the fact that the residents haven't left to see them in some time.
Stuff like that! Maybe even some new recipes!
i try not to think about it or i'll become so nervoucited that i'll get nauseous
#the fact that its a psychological horror brings my excitement#from 'ohhhh i cant wait!!!'#to Im Genuinely Deeply Nervous AND Deeply Excited.#welcome home stresses me the fuck out but... in a good way? somehow???#still i dont wanna think about whats to come or my entire day will be lost to pacing & staring at a wall w/ a racing heart#it probably will be housewarming themed - if thats still the in-universe version of christmas for the neighborhood#but yeah! so stoked im anxious! yeehaw!#whatever happens im going to go absolutely fucking Feral#also theres an element of 'i cant even imagine. anything could happen. things will happen that ive never even considered'#rambles from the bog#yk actually a thought ive had#is if i start streaming. before the update#maybe... i could stream the update.#yk me and any of you who join checking it out for the first time and looking for secrets#could be fun! if! emphasis on if!!#could be nice. cause like... idk about you guys but i dont have irl friends to sit down and check it out with#the updates are fun but a little lonely for me! its just me in my room wishing i could share the First Time Excitement yk yk#just. something for me to consider aiming for!#oh my god i just realized ill probably be working#i swear to god if the update drops while im at work im just gonna quit and walk out the door#ohhhh now im nervous about that happening... heres hoping it wont...#lmao who am i kidding! given my luck's track record that absolutely Will happen
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Free day! Anyone else remember the car bit they did in the ep 0s of arc 5 and 9? I do! i didnt remember it well enough to make the car a limo but heres the dm-mobile for the free day!
#my art#unprepared casters#UC Celebration 2023#i wanted to draw an intro/outro bit but i ended up with an ep 0 one adsfs#its fine im v proud of it#i dont draw real people often but i think i did good at making them look like them if you know what i mean#gus was the easiest. its very easy to cartoonify a mustache ya know#also fun fact there was going to be a charles hanger plush hanging from the rear view mirror along with the fuzzy d20s#but then i realized i had no room for gus' face. so hes not here visually but in spirit (in hidden layers)#another fun fact ive been drawing on call in our dnd server and theres a version of this with all of our discord icons on the dash#and that is now our server icon. us in the car w the gang
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2011 - Jense & Seb - Parc Fermé
#i wanted to make a gif for my banner and then ended up making all of these oops#god watching all these parc fermes is making me so excited to watch seb's prime era#ill admit it was kinda painful to watch cause i vowed to only gif their interactions right? but theres so many good other moments AGHHH#but my rule for myself is that im not allowed to gif the whole post race unless ive watched the full race#do note they had eleven podiums together but unfortunately didnt have parc ferme *moments* in all of them#if they didnt hug in parc ferme they end up hugging in the cooldown room which is very sweet <3 but it doesnt count for this post!#Well ig it just gives me something to look forward to!! Im gonna have a lot of fun with these next 5 seasons!!(including the one im on rn)#im not gonna tag all the races but they are in the alt text btw :)#and also are in chronological order#this post is literally: 'just read solar flare' core like god....i did not realize 2011 was so plentiful...#i am in my sebson era hehehe 🤭 theyre so underrated ngl like cmon look at them#and the fact that this is only like a tiny percentage of their interactions even within 2011#sebastian vettel#jenson button#sv5#jb22#sebson#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#f1 2011 season
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i am playing professor layton and the curious village on my ds. very fun!!!
I don't know if i'm very far in because most of the time spent in that game was me being confused and bad at puzzles. it's fun though.
!!! im glad to hear youre enjoying it!! its one of my fav titles and honestly such an underrated series, id love it if more ppl gave it a try!
the puzzles can be difficult but very rewarding!! i used to dread them as a kid but now i find them nice and challenging. the math ones are still hard, but if u speak to Flick at the cafe he'll give you chess puzzles which i think were my favorite ^_^
#its nice because its story driven but gives u enough room to do the puzzles on your own to make progress.. and the rewards like#the gizmos painting pieces and furniture for the minigames are also a nice bonus because it gives u a little extra incentive to solve as#many puzzles as possible!! ngl i didnt know how the hotel room minigame worked but i had fun completing the painting and robot dog#plus the variety and the fact that u dont know which puzzles youre gonna get makes it interesting. and theres no harm if u cant finish or#end up missing some because you can find them in the riddle shack or just do a different one instead and its fine. very cool#i have dyscalculia so the math ones have always been hard for me and id need my brothers help so we'd work on it together#or i'd just search up the answer as a last resort............#actually im gonna save u the trouble. if u get the camera case puzzle the answer is 95. ITS FUCKED UP I KNOW BUT ITS 95#it took me like 2 hours with my brother just to figure that out and i dont want anyone to get a headache from that one ITS FRUSTRATING#ive only played curious village and pandoras box bc its the only ones i had as a kid. replaying pandoras box rn actually!!!#i have cracked versions of unwound future and azran legacy which come after CV and PB BUT my version of unwound future is broken#it freezes on the opening cutscene every time i try to play it which SUCKS bc i really wanna play the games in order. maybe ill emulate it#professor layton#ask#answered#yapping#doodles
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happy anniversary to me its been 2 years since i got into jrwi isnt that crazy
#jrwi#just roll with it#i havent watched an ep in so long lmao#i think its mainly bc the main ones i watched were riptide and pd and well.#theyre on hiatus lmao#ive also been preoccupied with other uhhh fandoms#cough cough da and loa cough cough#but id still consider myself a fan and when riptide and pd come back im sure ill be back in the trenches lmao#ill get to wonder lust eventually i swear-#t m k idk tho. audio only is very hit or miss for me rip#might rewatch the feywild arc just to feel something#also fun fact. i watched the pd s2 finale in a hotel room#i was in michigan for my cousins wedding lmao#funniest part about me getting into jrwi is that i then entered like a month long dissociative. something. state of being?#like the only thing i remember is like. watching jrwi and the occasional snapchat call w a friend group im no longer in lmao#ANYWAY enough rambling from me.#yall aint readin all this anyway but its fun to write :]
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[guy who has had this one blog for twelve years and has 27'000 posts] what if i start tagging all fanart as 'fanart' and also i go back and tag all fanart ive already reblogged
#yelling at clouds#mass post editor not actually making this too difficult#i DID think it was loading terribly but it turns out actually my laptop had connected to the further away wifi#fun fact abt my parent's house: my old bedroom has its own wifi extender. cuz its the only room far enough away from the main guy.#anyway i wanna get prints!! i wanna decorate my rooms with art!!!#i need to find the fanartists i like who do prints#and i have only ever tagged 'art' for non-fandom art. and in retrospect: foolish#you can only edit 100 posts at a time on the mass post editor. ive hit that limit twice n im only back to june 2022.#i will. keep a tally.
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hi lily! the cats name being killua means it is named after a sweet little boy in a family of assassins and he can kill a man just by ripping his heart out. but its ok because he has a best friend thats he sees as his light and world (GAY) and he loves his sister very much
hi SAM! that fucking rules. do you think he'd be cool with a cat named after him being used to do crimes
#asks#notedchampagne#fun fact ive actually watched a chunk of hxh#most of the greed island arc#it was because my roommate was watching it and she'd watch it on the tv in the living room#so i watched it with her sometimes#i absorbed nothing 👍#i did pick up on killua being gay as hell tho. that much is very obvious
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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I've been reminded that Hard Time is an episode that exists and I'm spiraling a little because of it
#i thought i would enjoy hard time back before i watched it#like a fool#'oh my favorite character gets trauma and struggles with it? fun!' it is not in fact fun#i know the whole point is that its fucked up. i know that#it does not stop me from being utterly horrified by the fact that obrien LITERALLY ATTEMPTS TO KILL HIMSELF#and then they never mention any of it again in any following episode#just drop that bomb on the table and go 'hey its fine! hes taking medication and getting therapy for this trauma so its all fine now!'#like its no big fucking deal. man was so scared of hurting his loved ones because of artifical memories giving him trauma that he decided to#kill himself. like what the fuck. what the actual fuck. who hurt that writers room#its been 4 years since ive seen that episode and it still haunts me#liv talks#tags are a doozy i apologize#ds9#not even getting into the role julian plays if i do that ill curl into a ball and never come out
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i dont like when all the fears of the day ball into one big Ball Of Sad at night. not fun.
#smudgy.txt#.vent#idk whats wrong i was coping so well today (avoiding thinking abt my problems by#focusing on character writing instead)#its so frustrating when u just dont know what else to do. so u just.. do nothing.#but that doesnt make it go away!!!! grr!!!!!#u know what else is fucking frustrating. the 'my friends dont like me' feeling#not going away even when u have fun w ur friends. its not FAIR#its not fair knowing for a fact there is nothing uniquely wrong w u#yet at the end of the day u cry thinking abt all the ways ur existence was a fuck up#its not fair knowing ur allowed to hurt but feeling like a lazy pos for it anyway#ive spent so many days locked up in this room BECAUSE LEAVING IT MAKES ME FEEL#REALLY BAD!!!!!!! AND IM TRYING TO FUCKING GET EVEN A CRUMB OF ENERGY!!!!!!!#and i feel soooo terrible horrible like a wretched person for it#and itll just never end. itll never end. lord i am so tired
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...
#me @ my youngest sister at 6.30 this morning: yooooooo can u draw me a fishy so i can get it tattooed on me?#i drew her some flowers so i want a paralell tattoo with her initials bc she has my initials on her#but i literally have not spoken to her since like may bc i do not talk to my sisters unless we r in the same room. no hate we just dont hav#a lot in common. it makes me a lil sad tho bc im curious abt them. my youngest sister is at least nice to me 😭#ive been thinking abt asking her for ages and last night i was asked abt my sisters so i was like. the time is now#while im still a bit elevated#which has been to my advantage bc i was able to stay v chatty and energetic while talking to ppl. and i think i made some friends#we bonded over fic reading. so theyre a bit. ya kno. girls gays and theys of science#we make the world go round. but its so interesting to hear them talk abt coming to school here bc they both liked where they were and r#leaving their support systems. and im like bruh if i didn't leave the southwest i was gonna die. im so happy to b here#support system? whats that. i talk to my parents once a month and that's it lol. but im gonna try to establish one here#and try to actually make actual friends. this school is way better abt making grad students interact#my last school was not at all like that. but anyway i had fun#and i mean im only at the start of the semester. and im in a good mood. and i kno things will get stressful#but im just really happy i got accepted here#and the longer im here the more clearly i can see how much i was suffering#the funny thing is tho that i wrote this last night and only hours later i was squirming in frustration bc the fact that im back in therapy#means i feel a greater obligation to not b actively self destructive. evil coping mechanisms my beloved#this is y my mum wanted me back in therapy bc im a goodie 2 shoes and when my counselor is like: did u do X the next time i see her. ill b#honest and itll b annoying >:-[ ugh#its just hard for me to b around ppl a lot bc i get stuck in mental loops bc ocd. which is exhausting. and i want it to stop#and i want to do bad things to make it stop but i wont bc im trying to b better#its just funny to me that ill go from everythings awful to everythings great i shoukd talk to my sisters and make friends and do this and#this and this. to oh god i cant do this anymore in such short time frames with certainty that how im feeling is how ive always felt#ive also noticed that my peaks of high energy do come before stressful events. which does make me worry for future stressful events. like#defending. i mean ive never gone fully off the tracks but its a lil alarming when it feels like the train is going at a million miles an hr#unrelated#meanwhile my other sister is apparently in Colorado but when i saw the pics is was like: YOU BITCH#R U CLOSE TO ME RN??? but no. Colorado is far away
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