#idk whats wrong i was coping so well today (avoiding thinking abt my problems by
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i dont like when all the fears of the day ball into one big Ball Of Sad at night. not fun.
#smudgy.txt#.vent#idk whats wrong i was coping so well today (avoiding thinking abt my problems by#focusing on character writing instead)#its so frustrating when u just dont know what else to do. so u just.. do nothing.#but that doesnt make it go away!!!! grr!!!!!#u know what else is fucking frustrating. the 'my friends dont like me' feeling#not going away even when u have fun w ur friends. its not FAIR#its not fair knowing for a fact there is nothing uniquely wrong w u#yet at the end of the day u cry thinking abt all the ways ur existence was a fuck up#its not fair knowing ur allowed to hurt but feeling like a lazy pos for it anyway#ive spent so many days locked up in this room BECAUSE LEAVING IT MAKES ME FEEL#REALLY BAD!!!!!!! AND IM TRYING TO FUCKING GET EVEN A CRUMB OF ENERGY!!!!!!!#and i feel soooo terrible horrible like a wretched person for it#and itll just never end. itll never end. lord i am so tired
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