#fucking up

[warriorwoman13]

Cowardly walked away from every responsibility after 38 years. 38 years. 38 years.

Left every personal belonging behind except his dark secrets - those were hand delivered to covert storage for safe keeping.

Shredded hearts. Broken dreams. Stolen futures.

Pornography and dirty secrets more important than everything and everyone.

All encompassing. Watching it. Writing it. Reading it. Hiding it. Protecting it. Not just adults. Not a damn thing to do. Not enough probable cause.

Hidden cameras with night vision in our sacred space. More terrible secrets. More denial.

Many new tool kits, window breaker purchased with terrible intent.

Taking tens of thousands from his elderly father with dementia. No conscious. No consequences.

Elderly father left suffering on the floor for days with a broken arm while preoccupied with porn at the hotel. No daily calls happening knowing it was absolutely necessary.

Daughters devastated, confused, depressed.

So. Many. Lies.

Addict behavior turned on wife: psychological abuse, emotional abuse, stonewalling, victim blaming.

Fifth job loss in six months.

Divorcing him a must. But how?

Decisions about whether to pay the mortgage or attorney on a $20/hr salary while there’s no accountability for the money frivolously spent for months.

Trying to shift focus away from the terrible he’s become; the lies to his attorney begin about everything and anyone, especially her.

Upon his father’s passing, this stranger will have spent life changing money on this terrible darkness, will receive a beautiful condo, full social security, the disgusting addiction, oh, and his new girlfriend he’s been buying lingerie for with his father’s credit card. A new girlfriend found less than four months after walking out on a beautiful family.

Ruined a family in every way a family can be ruined. Life has never been easy. So. Much. Trauma. He knew every wound but did it anyway with full knowledge. Knowing the human cost.

Sister a prostitute. Died of an overdose.

Brother a gang member. Shot in the head and killed at twenty one.

Nephew/adopted son died of overdose in 2020.

Aren’t men protective, brave, and courageous? When?

Biological father (doesn’t deserve that term) abused, violated and completely broke four of us growing up. Decimated three generations. He “has no problem sleeping at night”; suffered no repercussions.

The reality of addiction. The ugly truth. The secrets families have to keep while the addict continues the damage.

Something has to change.

[authorkarajorgensen]

The energy I cultivate is that I try not to fuck up, but when I do, friends come to tell me I've fucked up.

Like, they trust me enough to know I won't blow up or double down, and that I'll try to fix whatever mistake I made.

[suicideandcheese]

Daddy's Girl

There's this world out there. Fuck Do they hate me when I hate me. I threw an orange at her Dad during Christmas meal. I had enough. I have all the backup and none. I'm just Sorry, not sorry. Call me a drunk one More time. I'll prove your shit theory As I take your daughter home and give Her the only home she's ever known, Dad. God, does she hate me today. And God, Do I love you for giving me the strength To be, to hurt, to submit and say I'm sorry. I am sorry. I said it. I am a man, after all. This is why he gave me a ride home. That's what real men do. She Will never understand. And we will Break up and I will laugh at citrus Being the focal point of finally. I can love you all, and will, but you Do not tell me about one more Conspiracy theory and claim Jesus. Fuck you all, with love.

[tragiczny-blog]

no man or woman can ever replace you, there is a gaping hole in my soul in your shape and size and trying to fill it with alcohol drugs and sex didnt work

what am i supposed to do without you

i come home to someone whos not you, i still say your name during sex i still think about texting you when i see things i know youd like i still look at the things you once said you need a lifetime ago and i still want to buy them for you i still think about us growing older together i still remember how proud we were of each other for making it to adulthood i still remember talking about our first second third etc jobs i remember talking about rehab and psych wards and hospital i remember how you said youd walk me to aa like i walked you to your psychiatrist we were through so much together why do i come home to someone who is not you

[inksplashgirl]

what it means

It was late

(or early, if you're that person)

the world was blurring at the edges

I knew I was making a mistake

and at the time?

I didn't care.

That's what scares me,

honestly.

I woke up on the sofa

and memories crept in slowly

pricking like tiny needles

pain hunched in my temples

guilt, fear, regret

crawling up my throat

laughing at the irony

of my own choices killing me

I got up, got dressed, forced

myself out the door to school

and I sat, choking down cheap cereal

in the fluorescence of the cafeteria

and you walked in

and my stomach churned

like pasta at a rolling boil

because I had to tell you

You asked if I was okay

and the only thing I could say

was what I did last night

and I started to cry-

and you looked in my eyes

and you wrapped your arms around me

and you asked again

if I was okay.

They talk about trust, forgiveness.

They talk about love,

love that reaches far beyond infinity,

but when you tell someone that you fucked up-

and they still whisper "I love you" into the dark

and they still reach for your hand

you finally understand

what it means.

[howifeltabouthim]

. . . I am still blundering and stumbling, and have fallen into a way of hurting myself at every step.

Anthony Trollope, from Phineas Finn

[elbiotipo]

I think one big reason why we don't consider the stars as important as before (not even pop-astrology anymore cares about the stars or the sky on itself, just the signs deprived of context) is because of light pollution.

For most of human history the sky looked between 1-3, 4 at most. And then all of a sudden with electrification it was gone (I'm lucky if I get 6 in my small city). The first time I saw the Milky Way fully as a kid was a spiritual experience, I was almost scared on how BRIGHT it was, it felt like someone was looking back at me. You don't get that at all with modern light pollution.

When most people talk about stargazing nowadays they think about watching about a couple of bright dots. The stars are really, really not like that. The unpolluted night sky is a festival of fireworks. There is nothing like it.

[never-quite-buried]

Nope now it’s at the point that i’m shocked that people off tt don’t know what’s going down. I have no reach but i’ll sum it up anyway.

SCOTUS is hearing on the constitutionality of the ban as tiktok and creators are arguing that it is a violation of our first amendment rights to free speech, freedom of the press and freedom to assemble.

SCOTUS: tiktok bad, big security concern because china bad!

Tiktok lawyers: if china is such a concern why are you singling us out? Why not SHEIN or temu which collect far more information and are less transparent with their users?

SCOTUS (out loud): well you see we don’t like how users are communicating with each other, it’s making them more anti-american and china could disseminate pro china propaganda (get it? They literally said they do not like how we Speak or how we Assemble. Independent journalists reach their audience on tt meaning they have Press they want to suppress)

Tiktok users: this is fucking bullshit i don’t want to lose this community what should we do? We don’t want to go to meta or x because they both lobbied congress to ban tiktok (free market capitalism amirite? Paying off your local congressmen to suppress the competition is totally what the free market is about) but nothing else is like TikTok

A few users: what about xiaohongshu? It’s the Chinese version of tiktok (not quite, douyin is the chinese tiktok but it’s primarily for younger users so xiaohongshu was chosen)

16 hours later:

Tiktok as a community has chosen to collectively migrate TO a chinese owned app that is purely in Chinese out of utter spite and contempt for meta/x and the gov that is backing them.

My fyp is a mix of “i would rather mail memes to my friends than ever return to instagram reels” and “i will xerox my data to xi jinping myself i do not care i share my ss# with 5 other people anyway” and “im just getting ready for my day with my chinese made coffee maker and my Chinese made blowdryer and my chinese made clothing and listening to a podcast on my chinese made phone and get in my car running on chinese manufactured microchips but logging into a chinese social media? Too much for our gov!” etc.

So the government was scared that tiktok was creating a sense of class consciousness and tried to kill it but by doing so they sent us all to xiaohongshu. And now? Oh it’s adorable seeing this gov-manufactured divide be crossed in such a way.

This is adorable and so not what they were expecting. Im sure they were expecting a reluctant return to reels and shorts to fill the void but tiktokers said fuck that, we will forge connections across the world. Who you tell me is my enemy i will make my friend. That’s pretty damn cool.

[puppppppppy]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[twinliches]

shoutout to the guy who after unsuccessfully hitting on my sister and being politely declined asked her "is it okay if i ask your brother instead" and when she said yes gave me a long and searching look before sighing and going "no. i am not drunk enough to go for a dude. but you look like an angel" happy bisexual pride to this man and this man only. hope you figure it out soon king

[fedorah-the-explorah]

"oh wow i thought this fandom was dead" you ignorant slut no fandom is ever truly dead. there will always always always be at least three mentally unwell freaks on the internet irrelevant-posting about their little blorbo(s) who have not been relevant for fifty years. this is the way of the world and they are stronger than you will ever be you FOOL

[afterthelambs]

"In another life I would have really liked just dancing and making inventions with you"

[inkskinned]

it's extremely critical that you see the photo of the perp walk for luigi mangione as being propaganda. i've seen so many people wave it off and instead fawn over his looks. and trust me, i know it ended up being kind of pathetic and weird - but please don't brush it off as a "modelling opportunity" for him. it's a fucking terrifying message the police are sending.

i want to make a few comparisons here, in case you're not from the US or familiar with why the perp walk thing is something to pay attention to. just to set the groundwork for why this is a purposeful, unusual, and cruel act by the nyc police - for why this is not a common occurrence and for why that matters.

the prosecution alleges the show of force is due to the charge of "terrorism." for comparison, in june 2015, tsarnaev was found guilty for the boston marathon bombing, which killed 3 people and injured hundreds. his actions are considered to be an act of domestic terrorism. i have spent the last hour looking through google for pictures of similar to mangione's perp walk - and so far, i have found zero. i also just do not personally remember a moment like that, despite living in boston at the time.

they allege that luigi is a stone-cold killer who carried out a longterm plan, making him particularly dangerous. again for comparison: in nyc, recently cory martin was found guilty of the killing of brandy odom. the murder was planned and premeditated to steal insurance money. and yet no staged perp walk. why didn't her life matter enough for a "show of force"?

but mangione gets paraded by a veritable army of police officers as if he is a rabid animal. for a single citizen who allegedly killed one other single citizen, the "largest perp walk ever" occurs.

so what is the "strong message" that the mayor and the police were trying to send here? the mayor speaks as if mangione is already convicted of terrorism. there is a very thin number of people who feel threatened by the CEO's death. none of us felt like mangione needs to be under massive armed guard.

the message is that you shouldn't resist. they are trying to "make an example" of him - that if you behave badly and kill a single rich person, you'll be treated as if you killed hundreds of people. you will be treated worse than a man who was found guilty of terrorism. you will be considered guilty without trial. the message is that the rich are a protected class, and you cannot touch them without massive punishment. they are trying to prevent a revolution by showing dominance and force against you.

the message is that the police are a puppet of the wealthy and that the law is not equally applied across class disparity. it is "some are more equal than others." it is "one life is more precious than another."

the show of force wasn't for luigi. it was for us. it was a warning. they are trying to remind us who is really in control.

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

[mayhemchicken-artblog]

in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through