#fucking 2 day work week
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Fucking hate short weeks at work, the weeks after always suck ass.
Bitching about finances in the tags
#fucking 2 day work week#sucks ass#especially running low on insulin#thankfully family is around#so I can beg for a short term loan I can pay back with my next paycheck#would it be great to get a $400 loan and pay it back over 2 months?#sure#but then I'm in debt#which I refuse to be#long as i can stretch my insulin for 3 more days#I'm good#might only even be 2#sometimes i get paid early#usually when shit's gonna hit the fan#in my personal life#so yay#if trends continue#I'll be fine#if not#it's not like most of my coworkers and family are callous bastards unwilling to loan me $25-50#But fuck#that kills my plans to get a black friday RoG Ally#maybe#idk
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Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.
For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.
I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.
#i have to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night to even barely function#with sleep#getting ready for work#commute#cooking#and errands#I typically have maybe 2-3 hours to actually do what i want in a day#and I'm usually too tired to actually do the things i want to do#and that's with a very short commute#if i actually had a long commute I'd basically do nothing but work#i see my friends like once every few weeks or months#because we're all so fucking busy with work and have such little time for socialising#and none of us even have kids or anything!!
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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cringe death note oc posting what’s new
BIG PIECE of mello & my dn oc, M, more info about her right here 😈😈⤵️⤵️
i love her sm and i WILL talk extensively about her the second i’m given the chance. she’s literally the reason i got into death note so everyone say thank you M!
#piece so big to make up for being gone ( i got literally super sick 😭😭 over it now! )#and to make up 4 the fact i’ll be gone for awhile 2 go work on my m*llom*tt week pieces :3c#SO EXCITED FOR THAT EEEEEEE‼️‼️‼️‼️#but yes i fucking love M i would die for her#not expecting this to do well BUT IDC SHE MEANS SO MUCH 2 ME I HAD 2 SHARE HER AND MELLO’S MOTHER-SON RELATIONSHIP#hoping to do a near piece with her after i finish up the m*m stuff ^^!!#art#fanart#my art#death note#death day au#death note au#death note mello#mello#mello death note#death note oc#masatoshi miyake#m death note oc#family dynamic#chosen family#fan oc#original character#oc#my oc
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tried learning blender, i think it turned out ok
#hii i died for like 2 weeks sorry about that HOWEVER i have come back the ability to use blender (that i just learned this morning)#model a donut for my first render? nah fuck it we ball#ive been working on this all day im not joking i started this at like 2 pm and now its almost 12 pm#me omw to turn into a human shrimp#hananesia au#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl lamb#cotl fanart#cult of the lamb fanart
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control (2019) + king of pain by the police
#art#digital#grayscale#control#control remedy#control 2019#hi *explodes*#<- hiss charged voice#ok but seriously im pretty stoked about these. not all of them are my absolute best work but a lot of them turned out really well and more#importantly i actually fucking finished all of them (only took about 2 months longer than i thought it would lmao)#ummm notes. all of these were done with the same single brush for everything you see and most were done on only 2 layers + one for the text#the first 3 were done first in order and the last one was done last i dont entirely remember the order of the rest#also i listened to the song exploder episode on the house of cards theme probably at least a dozen times while working on these#just felt like it set the mood well#anything else interesting i have to share about the process? dont think so... look out for some alternate color versions#in the next few days as i endeavor to figure out gradient maps i suppose#well thats it. very much hope this gets even half as much traction as last weeks memes due to the aforementioned 3 months spent working#but we'll see. we shall see.#yayyyyy posting art before bedtime <3
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So, I normally don't share any type of self- observation bullshit, but this was pretty goddamn funny.
I work in a shop that sells a lot of loose herbs and there's one herb in particular called "mullein." I absolutely despise this stuff. It makes my skin itch just looking at it. Well, it's very fine and fluffy and once in a while, it gets revenge on me. 🤣
I'm usually unbelievably good at not sneezing in public, but if you inhale this stuff? You don't have a prayer lol. So, as I'm pouring it for a customer, of course, it gets me. Not just once, but twice. Unprecedented. 😂
Instead of being a normal person and saying "excuse me," I said "goddamn, I gotta stop being so sexy."
The customer fucking lost it. 🤣
I can't stand myself. I'm fired. 🤣🤣
#Lol why am I like this#Thank gods they didn't bless me lol#We're ULTRA relaxed and very sweary here lol#I work alone 2 days a week#And this was one of those days 🤣#i'm a fucking idiot
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I wrote out an entire dissertation length rant but I'm actually deleting it & just leaving a gif that captures the energy of my current predicament in far less words
#*company i work for* is literally so stupid & i knew that already but oh my god. lol.#how are you going to give me 3 days a week as a sub then PROMOTE me to part time at 1 day a week w/zero potential to pick up new shifts...#bc im not ALLOWED to work more than 24 hrs a pay period (2 weeks) ...????? why??????#every other PT job ive had capped at 35 hrs a WEEK. this is 12 hrs a week cap. what rhe fuck#and they have to hire another PT person anyways so why not let me take what they would get??? fucking demented#here i go starting to rewrite the rant in the tags. theres much more believe me im being very restrained rn#who the fuck can survive on 750 dollars a month#i have to get a second job now! yayyy!!
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Going to walk into the fucking water 🙏👍🚶➡️🌊
#going insane. cant sleep the fucking constant irregular snoring… ahut the fuck uppppp please#no peace or autonomy in the day and i can’t even rest at night. day 2 of 2 weeks 👍#earplugs do not drown it out. i can’t sleep through it. im going genuinely insane#like distress tolerance works for not like clawing my own face off out of hate#but it does feel like 2 straight weeks of keeping my hand in the Dune pain box#exactly how I prefer to spend my only time off from my phd coursework btw#seething with sublimated resentment and anger while wearing Steel Plated Happy Mask#god forbid I get to relax or have a nice time with people who like me or cook food or read in bed#nope ! just holiday hate and competitive ulcer cultivation.#not going to put my head thru a wall because i’m an adult with emotional control#but sooo awesome to get to spend the next 2 weeks exhausted and wishing I could#and then straight back into constant work. awesome. Not clawing face off. Doing awesome#btw dbt is great for some things but i do hate how it is like. aorry if your environment sucks and other people are tangibly causing you#real distress. however : it is your responsibility to absorb the impact and defuse it#Like pleeease I’ve had the best year of my liiife why is 36 hours with my parents enough to send me straight to hell#at that point I feel the problem is less my emotional regulation skill#and more that when people treat me badly or in ways i find upsetting i become naturally: Upset?#big if true. whatevwerrrr okay im just going to sit in the fucking hotel lounge and work on fic or somwthing. fine
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they shoulda let us see rook's reunion with their companions right when they rescued them from the fade prison. cowards.
#mage talks#da4 spoilers#like... you mean rook was such a good leader that not only did they bring the team together to finally defeat an elven god#but when another elven god trapped their leader in the fade#they all were able to band together on their own and work without rook bc they were all so determined to bring them back????#a team that couldnt even operate cohesively when it was formed despite the fact they were all skilled professionals in their fields#a team that needed someone like rook to bring them together on a personal level as well as professional#a team that clearly could do things on their own now didnt even think for a moment to go after elgarnan and solas without their leader#because they could have. they couldve just written rook off as dead and thought they needed to save the world for the people theyd lost#like god rook was truly their linchpin and the only time we feel that and see it clearly is in that moment when they hear their team#and we just get a cut to the lighthouse meeting#that would have been such an incredible and emotionally charged reunion and we just got the fucking huddle#and the varric thing gets a side mention from... idk i think 2 people?? maybe???#and the time loss i thought they made it seem like it was days but other people are saying it was weeks????#idk i should go to sleep for real for real
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i recently remembered DickTim Week 2024 is happening very soon and i looked at the prompts again to see if i could get anything out for it and. the Hades & Persephone AU prompt for day 1 has got me really thinking so here's a vague concept i plan to write.
i've been pretty burnt out on modern Hades & Persephone retellings because of how they always seem to fall into the same generic "innocent wide-eyed girl runs from her evil mean mother into the arms of a dark mysterious man because actually she went willingly and chose to marry him" which has gotten repetitive for my tastes. (for clarity i don't care if this retelling is your cup of tea personally, so long as you're not actively trying to rewrite the original myth and claim untrue things about it, if this is your favorite flavor i sincerely hope you enjoy the buffet i just have little interest in it since it feels overdone for me and exhausted of it's supposed commentary atp)
but? but. biblically accurate Hades & Persephone AU has me all kinds of interested. because wait listen so hear me out right. Hades!Dick and Persephone!Tim, obviously. i feel it'd be more loosely inspired by with themes and imagery (though playing with death and nature powers could be interesting, i haven't decided) rather than explicitly making them gods and all. but. something dark and fucked up where Dick and Bruce are especially estranged. maybe to do with Jason's return, maybe to do with them just clashing and having their usual explosive arguments. and Bruce knows the peace needs to be kept, if he and Dick are at odds then everyone starts to pick sides and things just fracture so he needs a peace offering.
and the peace offering is Tim.
Bruce (the stand-in for Zeus) offers up Tim. agrees to have Tim move to Bludhaven and be Dick's... whatever Dick wants him to be. knowing that with the implication comes the likelihood of Dick grooming Tim. and Tim has no real say and is hesitant to put up a real fight. he doesn't want this, he knows what this is going to imply Dick will do to him, but he also knows if he says no things have the possibility to just... fall apart. so he's the unwilling bride, dragged off to the metaphorical underworld (Bludhaven) with Dick, away from his family, his friends, the life he built.
and on the flip side, i think weirdly enough, your best pick for the Demeter stand-in is *Jason*. just, hear me out on that. not necessarily on the side of it being motherly, but on Jason being just estranged enough from the Batfamily to be the one willing to call it out for being bad and wrong and raising bloody hell to get Tim back. maybe it's because Jason wants Tim for himself, maybe it's truly out of a concern for Tim to have autonomy, i'm toying with the idea of it primarily being Tim's POV and him genuinely not knowing which of these is true. (and the truth possibly ends up being a complicated middle ground) and because i like Helena, i think you can use her as the Hekate stand in, the one who strikes a tentative alliance with Jason and tries to go find Tim and bring him back. Tim stuck with Dick, getting groomed and hyperaware of it, possibly even getting fucked the whole time as well, knowing he can't go back without causing massive issues for Dick and Bruce because well, Bruce did promise him to Dick. so he has to adjust his whole life, try to figure out being a vigilante in this new city with Dick breathing down his neck the whole time.
and then much like the ending of the myth, a sort of compromise is struck that's a shaky deal for everyone involved. Tim is put on an essential timeshare, going back and forth between Gotham, where he has friends and family and a support system, then getting dragged right back to Bludhaven with Dick in this brutal cycle that he slowly gets used to and stockholm'd into even liking it. Dick isn't so bad, once he gets used to the quirks of their unbalanced 'relationship'. the sex is even something he can adjust to as well. not quite a happy ending but one that sits in this realistic grey area that becomes Tim's life.
i will write this, eventually, but i don't know if i'll get to it before DickTim Week ends so by posting the idea i'm essentially putting it out into the world so the peer pressure holds me accountable. i just. really like the potential of making Hades/Persephone AUs as fucked up as they can be simply by adhering to the source material and making it a raw story of being stolen away and forced to like this new home you didn't ask for.
also a less fleshed-out aspect of this idea i have ties into Persephone becoming the Queen of the Underworld when she's taken and how the transition from Kore to Persephone could be reflected in Tim. how he makes the best of the worst situation and becomes something far more dangerous and dark when he's in Bludhaven, possibly takes on a new vigilante name/identity and leans into the worst quirks of his personality he tries to tamper because there's no point in not going full tilt Obsessively Weird if he has no choice anyway and it being one small way he takes back his autonomy, and that inevitably making Dick *more* into him, because he gets to see Tim finally just. let loose.
#dicktim#timdick#batcest#necrotic festerings#necrotic works in progress#dicktim week 2024#fandom event#this will be written i've just got a pile of things before it.#i'm mostly posting it so i don't fucking forget about it#i'm also interested in some of the other prompts#day 2 is full of goodies. and day 7.#but the other prompts are probably ideas that'll be shorter and quicker#this one i feel. if i rlly fucking ran with it. could go on to be a novella length idea.#idk how long it'll get when i write it#but there will be smut this i promise you#also i'm respectfully begging y'all pls don't do hades/persephone myth discourse on this post#i really *don't* care if you like romantic retelings i promise. they're just not my vibe#and i also promise i am *incredibly* well read on this myth#if you try to give me the “well in some versions-” argument i'm *going* to get incredibly boring with so many sources.#like i will go step by step through every ancient version of this myth.#i save that discourse for spiritual spaces tho so pls don't drag it here i will combust#anyway making jason the demeter stand in is funny bc greek mythos also does do the incest pretty hard#so like. it still works. it's funny#how long will this take i honestly cannot tell you#depends on if i cave and bump it up in the queue bc it's behind like. four fics i'm so sorry.#but you're welcome to send asks or whatnot to shout at me about this idea and 'yes and' me#that applies to any of my ideas anyone is welcome to 'yes and' that shit#it delights me dearly.#my sole hang up on this rn is how godly do i make it. do i give them powers. or do i just make it vaguely inspired by the myth.#both are fun for their own reasons.
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compilation of my other fav palette challenges from the years past... i should do them again sometime......
chara #9 belongs to @askbookwormflareon
#granted theres a glaring issue in one of them#i am not pointing it out lest you end up noticing it when you wouldnt normally~#my art#art q#digital painting#oc#mew#pokemon#purrloin#also i put in my request for availability change#apparently they can reject it...#i just cited second job as reason as to why i need mondays off now#my manager is gonna be super pissed tho cuz they always get mad at everyone who changes their availability#but like i mentally cant keep up with the randomised schedule#esp when i could find out the day before my day off that its my only day i can do comms#i dont have enough time to work my schedule for that w chores and having to go buy food or cat food etc etc#it will come into effect start of next month if they accept it#if they dont then ill just keep resubmitting until they write me upfor it lol idk#i was even nice and specifically asked other higher up staff what the best day to ask off was so it didnt hurt them too bad#but i ranted in stream the other day how like im not responsible for if the store gets fucked just cuz i took one day off my schedule yanno#its not my job to keep that from happening#also im part time and if i was full time id still have 2 guaranteed days off so like ??? idk#scared abt getting the cold shoulder and whatnot the next few weeks from the manager tho#also i stayed up till 4am by accident#and got up at 8am anyways#wish my ass luck
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My manager has decided to schedule me to work 8 days in a row. 8 DAYS!!!!!! FOR A TOTAL OF 60 HOURS!! 8 X 8 = 64, SO THAT’S ROUGHLY 8 HOURS A DAY FOR 8 DAYS STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!?!?!?!?!?!?
#FUCK WORKING IN RETAIL#sadly this is legal in my state. i think it’s illegal in other states but not mine.#yes i know i need to make money but 8 days in a row is just cruel#can’t give me one day off in between? just one??#i had to work a 6 day stretch a week and a half ago and by the time I was on my 6th day i was just crying at work#how am i gonna do 2 more days than that#i can’t. i can’t
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Pretty sure my little man has a case of abundism affecting the marble tabby coat under all those white splotches
#random pet post#it really is a weird coat pattern#I'm never sure if I should describe him accurately as a white marked tabby or as the first impression people get of a black and white cat#love his little backward C's#I got all my other pets around the same time and they've been dying off one by one this last year or so#I'm down to just this 4yo kit and Bruiser#actually I'm not done whispering in the tags#pretty soon it's just gonna be me and this terrible little man against the world#and he gives me such weird problems you cannot even begin to imagine#took to the leash and harness without a bit of difficulty but I can't take him anywhere cuz he freaks out about people 500ft away#really difficult to find sitters for him cuz he gets so stressed about changes and waits until 3am to SCREAM#he's 17 lbs and wants to sleep on my chest 14 hours a day#took him on a work trip a week or 2 ago cuz of aforementioned petsitting troubles and some kind of wire got crossed#so instead of stress peeing in my laundry basket he now humps the nearest blanket covered limb to alert me of problems#he got scared of his water dish recently and is only now starting to get over it after 3 weeks of drama#he knocked it over last night and humped my leg while I tried to sleep to try and convey to me that he was thirsty#I'm thinking of getting a second cat and just fucking hoping that it'll be normal and maybe Prompto can target it for some of his weirdness
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it should not fucking be allowed to have your laundry machines be operated by an app only im so mad
the shit isnt working and theres nothing else i can do
#jo mews#no coin slot no nothing bro wtf do i do now#got laundry detergent all over my clothes and 2 loads that need to be washed#and no car#always gotta be a fuckin sunday when theres no one in the office too#and no time to wait til it gets fixed bc the work week starts tomorrow#jesus fuck#one of these days i'll learn to check that its working before i put my shit in#but still. it should not work this way
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I didn't die, I just work a full time job, which is actually close enough.
Anyways, I really want to write the Yanderes reacting to you crying.
And in terms of like, full fics, I'm desperate to write anything for Scaramouche. Maybe a fic of him getting softer around you, or even better, one where he comes back to you after becoming Wanderer. He'll think he's better now that he's had change and growth, but his obsession only starts again.
anyways. happy camping. and my birthday is coming up soon, so I want to write lots of self indulgent fics for that
#maiistalking<3#consistently getting off of work at 2 am everyday :)#im so fucking tired#im talking 9 hour shifts#5 DAYS A WEEK
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