#earplugs do not drown it out. i can’t sleep through it. im going genuinely insane
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amrv-5 · 19 days ago
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Going to walk into the fucking water 🙏👍🚶➡️🌊
#going insane. cant sleep the fucking constant irregular snoring… ahut the fuck uppppp please#no peace or autonomy in the day and i can’t even rest at night. day 2 of 2 weeks 👍#earplugs do not drown it out. i can’t sleep through it. im going genuinely insane#like distress tolerance works for not like clawing my own face off out of hate#but it does feel like 2 straight weeks of keeping my hand in the Dune pain box#exactly how I prefer to spend my only time off from my phd coursework btw#seething with sublimated resentment and anger while wearing Steel Plated Happy Mask#god forbid I get to relax or have a nice time with people who like me or cook food or read in bed#nope ! just holiday hate and competitive ulcer cultivation.#not going to put my head thru a wall because i’m an adult with emotional control#but sooo awesome to get to spend the next 2 weeks exhausted and wishing I could#and then straight back into constant work. awesome. Not clawing face off. Doing awesome#btw dbt is great for some things but i do hate how it is like. aorry if your environment sucks and other people are tangibly causing you#real distress. however : it is your responsibility to absorb the impact and defuse it#Like pleeease I’ve had the best year of my liiife why is 36 hours with my parents enough to send me straight to hell#at that point I feel the problem is less my emotional regulation skill#and more that when people treat me badly or in ways i find upsetting i become naturally: Upset?#big if true. whatevwerrrr okay im just going to sit in the fucking hotel lounge and work on fic or somwthing. fine
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