#fuck you elias I liked you

[lonleyhumanbeing]

I just finished the Magnus Archives season 4 and holy fuck. It was all so calculated. I thought that the last episode would be JMart peacefully existing and taking a moment to collect themselves after everything, then go back to the Archive and solving problems together with the people they care about.

Then Elias comes in with an exact statement about how he made John bring about the fucking apocalypse and exactly how the powers and rituals work. He forced John to bring it about and now it is all over. I don’t know if anyone is going to survive. I just want them to be happy.

[merlins-art]

There are only two genders: Elias “Attention Whore” Bouchard, and Peter “Dont Fucking Look at Me” Lukas

And I swing wildly between both.

With an axe.

That was remarkably easy to buy in central London.

[destructo-range]

dumb tma fic idea: when michael becomes the distortion it's still technically bound to the eye because his contract never ended with the institute/the eye. and he has to come in like once a week to do paperwork or he'll feel ill

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

i want a tma malev crossover where it's early series tma but later series malev and elias takes one look at arthur and is like "oh goddammit one of the other avatars is stealing my great awesome ritual idea. and they're so much further along than i am. fuck. who is in charge of this guy i have to kill them." unaware that no, nobody is grooming him to be a focal point of anything or whatever, this is completely divorced from any intentional ritual thing, arthur lester is just the universe's least favorite human

[honeysucklethornsandalligtrhorns]

'i'm fine with elias simps but i draw the line at lady mowbray you people have clearly never met old rich ladies-' i'm not in it for the money i'm in it for the senseless violence and killings. god forbid a woman do anything.

[the-dye-stained-socialite]

Canned Butch WIP

[driedlillies]

Tma AU where Jonah fucked up his ritual when transferring to Elias’ body and still exists but is like. On the backburner unable to control the body. Because he’s a loser. So OG Elias is able to hear everything he thinks but Jonah can’t do anything. And so he learns the evil plan to end the world and immediately decides nope that’s NOT happening.

And since James Wright appointed him as the next Head of the Institute he has full control over everything he destroys every single bit of Jonah’s carefully laid masterplan. And Jonah suffers seeing everything he’s build fall like a house of cards. At the end Elias just goes and kills Jonah — there were concerns that it may also kill him, but he was ready to sacrifice himself — and comes out alive and free from voyeristic georgian men.

Elias establishes something of a truce with Gertrude after explaining the situation and also perhaps maybe telling her that Jonah mentioned one of her assistants is of the Web and what does that mean? Also what are the rituals and why does Jonah keep saying they don’t work unless you— (Gertrude cuts him off before he says it out loud. Walls have ears. You never know who might be listening).

Michael doesn’t die. Neither does Gerry, because after he faints for the third time at the Institute — Elias doesn’t have spooky eldritch eye powers, but he has office gossip, and that’s basically the same thing — Elias personally goes down to the Archives and tells him to go to the fucking doctor dude. Gerry smokes weed with him after a few months and thanks him for potentially saving his life

By the time Gertrude dies, which is post Stranger ritual (not shot by him, but still probably not peacefully, knowing her) Sasha becomes the next Archivist, and her role in the overall world of the Fears — Elias is not an avatar, doesn’t want to be, but has some leftover traits from Jonah’s inhabitance in his body, and knows a lot — is explained before she signs any contract. Also you’re not tied for life, fuck that. There’s a mandatory Entities 101 for every employee, no matter what department they work in; the vast majority of them come here seeking answers for what really ruined their lives, none of them deserve to die because nobody tells them what they’re actually fighting against. Tim — very much alive — goes to the Archives with Sasha, Jon stays in reaserch and eventually becomes Head Researcher. Martin goes to college part time at some point. Life is good

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

If I wrote a time travel au (Jon and Martin go back in time to first season archives after 200) where because of future intervention there’s a lot less trauma, and with less horrors to worry about past Jon begins to question his gender and starts experimenting with it- and it freaks future Jon out because ‘what tf do you mean I’m trans and never figured it out because Trauma????’

Would anyone read it?

[loosethreadsofyoursoul]

i made a tma playlist! it’s one song per fear entity, each corresponding to an avatar or victim (see below the cut for song breakdowns and more yapping)

cover art i downloaded from pinterest - it doesn’t say the artist but if u know who it is lmk !

the buried: like real people do - hozier

pov: alice “daisy” tonner

why were you digging / what did you bury / before those hands pulled me / from the earth

what did jon bury? what was he hiding as she suffocated? what was daisy hiding from before he came and pulled her out of there? did she ever feel like a real person?

the corruption: my strange addiction - billie eilish

pov: jane prentiss

hurts but i know how to hide it, kinda like it / … / my doctors can’t explain / my symptoms or my pain / but you are my strange addiction

and she did kinda like it, she was drawn to it, addicted to it, even with the pain and the detriment to her entire life. the corruption is toxic relationship core and she made a perfect avatar.

the dark: i will follow you into the dark - death cab for cutie

pov: manuela dominguez

if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks / then i’ll follow you into the dark

i mean, she literally followed maxwell rayner into the dark. for all the good and the bad, she would have followed him even if no one else did. yknow, for cult reasons. but still.

the desolation: agnes - glass animals

pov: jude perry

agnes, just stop and think a minute / why don't you light that cigarette and / calm down now stop and breathe a second / … / a choking rose back / to be reborn / i want to hold you like you're mine / you're gone but you're on my mind

thinking about agnes montague for this song… jude really loved her. and it wasn’t pretty, she wanted control and loved her partly for how she was connected to their god, but the love was there. and i think she always missed agnes.

the end: if we were vampires - noah kahan, wesley schultz

pov: georgie barker

If wе were vampires, and death was a joke / we'd go out on the sidewalk and smoke / and laugh at all the lovers and their plans / i wouldn't feel the need to hold your hand

i considered this for trevor/the hunt bc of literal vampires but like the narrator is a realist in this song which is very much who georgie is. death is inevitable. danger is inevitable. and just because she couldn’t feel fear didn’t mean georgie wasn’t aware of what she had and that she needed to protect it and herself. she wasn’t reckless with her life which is what this song means to me.

the eye: every breath you take - the police

pov: elias bouchard/jonah magnus

every breath you take / and every move you make / every bond you break / every step you take / i'll be watching you

self explanatory. to me. still giggling about it actually.

the flesh: under your skin - jukebox the ghost

pov: jared hopworth

how much can you fit under your skin? / … / i can fit two people under my skin / … / and i can feel you laughing, under my skin / and the happy palpitations are making me… grin

also self explanatory. just shoving bones in there as often as possible. thanks a lot, jurgen leitner.

the hunt: run boy run - woodkid

pov: trevor herbert

run boy run, this world is not made for you / … / run boy run, break out from society / … / tomorrow is another day / and you won't have to hide away / you'll be a man, boy / but for now it's time to run, it's time to run

this song is so young trevor trying to find his place in the world after violently losing his brother to a supernatural being he didn’t know existed and feeling the responsibility of that while also being ousted from society. he never did stop running huh.

the lonely: agoraphobia - autoheart

pov: martin blackwood

tried on 13 pairs of / shoes and not one made me want to / leave this blessed house of mine / that’s just fine / i really don’t want to go anywhere / i don’t really want to go anywhere

i see why this is on so many lonely playlists and it really is martin in mag 170, trapped in that house by his own mind but also by what the house is doing to him. it’s a comfort, but not a good one, very much those feelings of self isolation.

the slaughter: in our bedroom after the war - stars

pov: melanie king

it's us, yes, we're back again / here to see you through, 'til the days end / and if the night comes, and the night will come / well, at least the war is over

i like this song for melanie and the slaughter bc it’s kind of an antithesis to who she is. as long as she has a war to fight, she’s comfortable. she won’t lose everything she’s fighting for. the war may be raging but by god she won’t be the one who loses.

the spiral: strawberry fields forever - the beatles

pov: michael shelley/the distortion

let me take you down / cause I'm going to strawberry fields / nothing is real / … / living is easy with eyes closed / misunderstanding all you see / it's getting hard to be someone, but it all works out

there’s the obvious “misunderstanding all you see” spiral and distortion connotations but for michael, it also was hard to be someone. nothing was real to him either, really.

the stranger: you’re somebody else - flora cash

pov: tim stoker

well, you look like yourself / but you're somebody else / only it ain't on the surface / well, you talk like yourself / no, I hear someone else though / now you're making me nervous

the irony of this song is that. she didn't look like herself. or talk like herself. but to tim, it was sasha, and she didn't make him nervous until the end when he became nervous about everything because of what happened to her. and he became somebody else, too.

the vast: space oddity - david bowie

pov: simon fairchild

i'm stepping through the door / and I'm floating in a most peculiar way / and the stars look very different today / for here / am I sitting in a tin can / far above the world

this song has very clear vast connotations but i also like the imagery of simon sitting far above everyone else. in a literal way but also he thinks he's above most people because of his abilities, so he uses them to cause problems on purpose which is ultimately his downfall. what an interesting, weird old man.

the web: control - halsey

pov: annabelle cane

my mind's like a deadly disease / i'm bigger than my body / ... / goddamn right, you should be scared of me / who is in control?

the thing about annabelle is that all those things are true but. at the point where we get to know her, she's part of something bigger than herself, it genuinely doesn't matter to her whether she lives or dies.

the extinction: love song (for the apocalypse) - ira wolf

pov: jonathan sims

i packed a photo of us from our very first date / you packed the water 'cause I couldn't carry the weight / and into the ashes you carved out a heart with our names / ... / we could say we told you so, but what good is that now

i like this song for jon and the extinction for many reasons but firstly i think it's funny to have jon's song be associated with the only entity that didn't actually mark him. but yeah this song is very jonmartin during the eyepocalypse. everything's a disaster, but they're together, and they endure.

[literalfuckingfreak]

lol.

[thornswoggled]

*ringing dinner bell on the farmhouse porch* i have something sort of nice to say about elias. i think it is supremely funny that by his character design you would think any other mangaka would be calling this dude the King of Thorns, some highly vaunted guy everyone seeks favor from, and wow isnt it just so lucky and wonderful how chise got chosen, im sure the fae who heckle her all the time are just jealous. but actually he is literally just some guy, not terribly respected by either human or fae, met with a "who invited boo radley" wherever he goes, immediately ducks under the table when met with anything more incomprehensible and powerful than himself, hates leaving his house, and the general attitude towards chise is "what a nice girl, too bad shes stuck with him"

"how is this a nice thing to say." uhhh. um. well. i just think its a fresh way to conceptualize a character like him, because theres definitely a lot of people out there who try to make their own elias' and they dont even include the special sauce, which is loserdom. i like that hes a sopping wet beast. yamazaki was cooking when she said "if he was too dark and cool he would piss me off." no one is doing it like her

[hypocrisy-incarnate]

once again thinking about podcast men with the most british names i've ever fucking heard

[geraiodli]

Yayyy gunimals!! I fucking despise that they're all jacked if I ever draw them again each one is going to have completely different body type. I fucking hate capitalism

Also some partly unserious selfshipping(more a comment on how much my fears and complexes could be exploited by specifically Elias and Spiral)

[givemeureyes]

i cannot lie anymore i am OBSESSED with jonelias. i have to be honest with the people

[gunnrblze]

Ok naughty thought of the day:

Elias sucking on your boobs as stress relief

Merrick obsessed with fucking you while you’re pregnant

Rorke loving to fuck your ass while he plays with your pussy

-End post.

My honest reaction to this

[sunnwalker]

Elias does love his job btw I think he takes it wayyy too seriously yay