#fuck this relationship

[complainblogforthevoid]

Just finished the Violet Evergarden movie and I am... so mad.

Look. Violet Evergarden is beautiful. It's a lovely show and is one of the few in recent history that have made me cry. The only problem I had with the show, which I was more than willing to overlook, was the romantic implications between Violet and Gilbert. Because sure Violet could have a crush on her superior officer, the only person who ever showed her kindness. But Gilbert, as a full adult who raised Violet, should not be crushing on her. She was ten when she met him. He was at least 20.

But hey, he's dead and she's traumatized. Fine. We can miss him because we see how he was in her memory, and we're sad for her.

And then this movie. This movie where we find out that he's alive. I'm over here going "surely, he has amnesia. Surely."

Well he doesn't.

Look I wouldn't even begrudge him for not wanting to talk to Violet again, if he had just sent a letter. She's strong. She found friends and a support system. Claudia is her dad now, it's great.

But he didn't. The selfish bastard.

And the end, when he runs after her? The conclusion, where she uproots the entire life she's built after the war to go live on his goddamn stupid little island?

He should have been a father figure, okay? He should have been a parallel to Claudia, should have looked at Claudia and seen the father he should have been. But no, instead we get this half-assed romance in which Gilbert decides he wants her and instead of showing an ounce of sincerity he decides to ask her to change her entire life to stay with him. After he, knowing they were both alive, had made no effort to even assure her he was okay or check that she was.

Not only that but they have him let go of her letter and watch it fly off and I get it, okay, I get it as an art choice. But as a character choice??? Violet put her whole soul into that letter. That letter was what convinced him that he shouldn't let her go. And he just... lets it go? He has her now, sure, but he should be keeping that letter in his bedside table and treasuring it forever and him letting it go just...UGH.

Literally if they had given him amnesia. I could not hate him. I still wouldn't love the significantly older superior officer who raised her to lover arc, but at least I would believe he was a good person who cared about her.

[midnightcrisisstuff]

actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

[lonelyandpretty]

[stars-and-birds]

Dana’s last ‘fuck you’ to Disney

He/they collector

Genderqueer/bi-gender papa king

TWO girlfriend kisses

Onscreen mlm kiss

Implied aladarius

a happy ending to the bi/enby couple

A happy ending to the aro/ace character

And

Death to the white Christian puritain

[aropride]

i’ve begun saying people “obviously aren’t in a romantic relationship, they have something deeper and more intimate going on” as this seems to confuse and upset alloromantics

(ID: a banner with text over the aro flag. the text says: i don't care about blorbotags go wild but this post is about hating the hierarchial system of relationships & if you're mad about it you're probably been poisoned by ace discourse brainworms. and are also proving my point. /end ID)

[stump-not-found]

Lab Negotiations.

Ford says he traded some teeth to get his lab from Bill, but the truth is a lot stupider than that.

Supplementary backstory for Step IV of Theseus' Guide to Ruining a Perfectly Good Boat.

[bean-spring]

Hot take and not to be a killjoy or the shipping police but people treating Viktor or Jinx's aroace headcanons as if they were canon is not the revolutionary take people think it is.

Headcanons are always all right but we have to acknowledge that they are somehow damaging when they apply to stereotypes. It might not be the case for everyone but most of the time people unconsciously assume that disability/mental illness=asexuality. These headcanons erase the freedom of attraction from people who are already seen as unable to have sexual/romantic experiences/desires, when it's completely untrue and harmful.

You can headcanon Viktor and Jinx as aroace, but I have seen people changing their minds once Viktor is no longer disabled (s2 with all of his other forms) and Jinx is no longer as mentally ill (alternate universe Powder). And it speaks wonders of how people see these characters.

"I never thought about Jinx being able to feel romantic/sexual attraction until s2!" To believe she's actually only capable of that when she's not "damaged" is incredibly disturbing. Especially since Jinx has always had a bit of a flirty personality too.

"I've always seen Viktor as asexual, I don't know why!" That's fine. You can headcanon him as ace. But I believe there is a reason behind it, most of the time, if for some inexplicable reason the "vibes" of the disabled character are making you think he's ace.

I say all of this being aroaspec myself, by the way. Headcanon all you want but going to people's posts commenting how "it's weird for you that they have romantic/sexual plots when they're clearly aroace" is not a win at all. It's a headcanon, after all, and it should be treated as such, and that's fine. But it also is damaging to spread stereotypes like these.

Of course the disabled character is asexual. Of course the mentally ill character is aromantic. It's not as revolutionary as you might think, tbh.

Fandom is not activism and it's all right to have any headcanons you want BUT some of them are filled with damaging stuff and perhaps we should look into ourselves more before treating these assumptions as something canon.

[crows-home]

part of my nimona viewing experience. idk why but i got super emotional in the first five minutes.

ID by @peachygos

[ID: A comic juxtaposing screenshots from Nimona 2023 and drawings of a person watching the movie. The first screenshot is Ambrosius's introduction; he grins at the camera as the news anchors introduce him, his name in big print on the screen. The person watching thinks with a bored expression, "Ah. Ok. This guy is gonna be the jackass. Typical golden-boy stuck-up prince that thinks he's better than the underdog. I see where this is going.

The next screenshot is of Ambrosius and Ballister on the platform above the arena, Ambrosius doing his news anchor bit and saying, "Aaand will Ballister be broody on the biggest day of his life?" Ballister laughs at his antics. The person watching now has a small smile, as they think, "Huh! Aw, they're actually nice to each other and are friends! I wasn't expecting that, that's nice-"

The third and final screenshot is a shot from behind of Ballister leaning his head on Ambrosius's shoulder. The caption reads "the knighting ceremony is just moments away." The person watching now has a touched, soft expression, like they're holding back tears. They think "OH." as a partially transparent doodle behind them bends over crying and blubbering, with another doodle showing their heart shot through with an arrow. /end ID]

[ash-and-starlight]

humble contribution

[tsaiko]

Okay. So I get on the subway right, and sit in an open seat. Across the aisle and one seat down is a man and a woman, mid to late twenties. They are having furious whispered conversation with each other. Like you can tell they are trying to be quiet but emotions are high. it's tense. Which I don't notice at first but quickly pick up on.

After being a nosy shit while pretending to play on my phone, I figure out what is going on. These two are talking about the future of their relationship. I mean, odd place to have that discussion on a subway during rush hour, but whatever. It's drama that doesn't involve me. He wants to move forward with their relationship, possible move or move into together, and she wants to slow down.

Suddenly, he breaks in with a story about how his mom hates the city but she moved to New York to stay with his dad and has lived there for twenty years now. Because relationships are about sacrifices. At which point girlfriend is like "Okay, what have you sacrificed for our relationship?"

And boyfriend's example involved the time he missed doing something - I couldn't hear what - with his friends to go with her to her sister's wedding. She was 100% not impressed with his answer and it showed on her face.

They go back to their whisper argument and I can't pick up what they are saying to each other. Then suddenly, clear as day, girlfriend asked him "Name one thing I am interested in."

Homeboy just froze. He had no answer. The lights were on and no one was home. You could hear the dial-tone noise coming from his brain. He couldn't name one single thing his girlfriend was interested in. Hell, he looked like he was totally confused as to why she was even asking him the question.

He tried to talk to her a few times after that, but she was just silent. And I mean angry silent. Train pulls up to the station and she gets up. "Babe, this isn't our stop." Her reply? "It's my stop now." Doors open and she just fucking walks off and leaves him on the train.

He stares at her for a few seconds and then scrambles off after her.

My dude, I don't think you are recovering from that.

[inkskinned]

it's been said before and i'm sure said better than i can phrase it. but really, really - if you like making "i'm going to kill myself" jokes, please try switching to being ironically conceited instead.

anytime something goes wrong, say things like "ah well at least i'm beautiful and charming and everyone loves me." when you forget something, try "my big huge brain is so smart and thinking about too many other very big wizardly thoughts you wouldn't even understand." when you're frustrated by one of your symptoms, start talking like you're in My Immortal. "Life has come for me but my eyes are beautiful pools of gorgeous fire and my hair is amazing. I stuck my middle finger up at life and told it to fuck off and it did."

just... try it for a month or two. try saying the most absurdly self-congratulatory shit you can think of.

i know it's tempting to make suicide or self-harm jokes. and for me at least, a decade ago (!) when someone suggested i stop making those kinds of jokes, i was kind of at a loss for what to replace them with. i wanted to make light of these moments, but genuinely (at the time) my first thought really was suicidal ideation. there was a part of me that even felt like ... i was kind of "making light" of that voice. that if i could say i want to die lol, it would help take the sting out of that genuine (albeit passive) desire. like i could turn my illness into a joke.

when i started complimenting myself instead, it felt awkward and stupid. it felt really, really ironic. what i was actually saying was nobody would ever think this stuff about me, that's what makes it so fucking funny.

but. the effect was immediate. first thing i noticed was the people around me. when i dropped a glass and said ah my skin is too beautiful and sleek the glass has swooned and broken for me, other people were suddenly overjoyed to jump in with the joke. rather than making an awkward moment, we'd both start cracking up. ah princess sleek hands, i've heard of you.

i was 19. i hadn't noticed i'd been making others tense when i said i want it all to end. i know now that it's incredibly hard to know how to walk that moment - do you talk to them about your concern? do you potentially make them uncomfortable by asking if they're okay? do you ignore the situation? do you help them pick up the glass, or do they need to do it by themselves? are they genuinely made suicidal over this small moment? and most importantly, how do you - without professional training or supplies - actually help?

most people want to help you pick up the glass in your life, they just have no fucking idea how to do it. they don't want to make anything worse. they don't want to make assumptions about you. they love you, they're scared for you - and being scared makes people kind of freeze up. it's not because they don't love you. it's because they do.

now when something bad happens, my first thought is how can i make a stupid joke about this. it isn't my brain saying you're a dumb fucking bitch. i spend more time laughing. i spend more time being gentle with myself. i spend more time feeling good.

and the thing is - what's kind of funny - is that you'd be surprised by how many people agree with you. the first time i said i'm too pretty to understand that, someone else said to be fair you're the prettiest person in this room. i promise - you really don't know how kindly your friends see you. but they love you for a reason. they sort of reverse-velveteen-rabbit you. your weird and ugly spots fade away and you just become... the love they want to give you.

go love yourself ironically. the worst thing that happens is that you end up tricking your reflection into actually loving you.

[kindinb00]

[anxi04]

tim and bruce have an odd relationship to the rest of the family. they don’t act like father and son but it seems like they have a “deeper” bond than the others

bruce seems to take tim’s advice more seriously, bruce actually takes a break if tim tells him, tim still gets benched but not nearly as much as he should, and most confusingly, tim benched bruce once. not alfred benching bruce, TIM.

normally bruce has to be forced to take a break, and normally by alfred, but if tim says “you’re benched for a week” bruce? listens?

they have no idea why. some of them ask dick if he knows since he was there but he’s just as confused

and then despite all that there’s also such a strain between them? it’s really on the line of a professional relationship and almost a care taker. it’s very confusing. and then the times bruce gives tim a present or anything like that and tim stops and stares at him for a second, like he’s dissecting bruce. no one is able to fully figure it. until bruce is de-aged to tim’s robin era.

tim is very adamant about most of them, but especially jason and damian, do not reveal their names to him. for the time being they have a strictly professional relationship with their father who doesn’t know them.

they finally get some of the picture when they see tim start acting as bruce’s caretaker. tim switches between being gentle “hey, you need to sleep” to screaming at bruce. it always works. tim knows exactly which version bruce needs and it scares the team cause that has to require some practice

they’re then also thrown for a loop when they hear bruce call out jason’s name in a shocked voice, which makes sense cause he doesn’t know jason is alive but jason still has his helmet on so what? and then they hear a voice none of them have heard. except dick goes pale and jason’s breath hitches. and suddenly tim is responding to jason’s name and acting weird, almost like what some of dicks stories described jason as. and it’s so fucked up when they’re watching time act like someone else and bruce going along with it

the dynamic they’re getting is also fucked up once again when, during one of bruce’s really bad days, tim straight up acts like bruce’s parent. and bruce reacts well.

they’re all horrified by this. the realization that tim and bruce’s relationship has so many layers and that they do act like father and son sometimes. except bruce isn’t the father and tim isn’t the son

[puppyeared]

who is your favorite AA character? 👁️👁️

ziska… I hope capcom brings her back someday