#fuck sasuke sorry sasuke fans

[ssreeder]

I’ve moved on completely.

[mxdotpng]

seriously though the amount of characters they make blatantly clear are disabled in media where fandom still finds a way to ignore it as much as possible is like. insane. sakamoto ryuji is disabled. cloud strife is disabled. midoriya izuki is disabled. noctis lucis caelum? is disabled. kaz brekker. disabled. iron man? you might not believe this. but he is also disabled. crazy, right! its almost hard to believe.

[orcelito]

Losing my mind at how when Sasuke almost dies, he's remembering his relationship with Naruto, INCLUDING when they (accidentally) kissed. Like, that is a noteworthy enough memory for him that he's thinking of it as he thinks he's dying. Come On Man.

Then Naruto cradling Sasuke to his chest as Sasuke laments not getting his revenge, then tells Naruto not to die... and then Naruto loses his absolute SHIT......

Like what do you MEANNNNN this isn't a tragic romance 😭😭😭😭 I'm losing my Mind !!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

[oxydiane]

sns is so fucking unhinged and nobody will ever be them i’m sorry. you start the series and it’s like oh haha look at these goofy angsty rivals! they hate each other! then sasuke dies for naruto thirty chapters in giving up his dream of revenge and naruto goes batshit insane. now you’re like ah they’re friends i guess that’s cute! and sasuke is trying to kill naruto because he’s the most important person in his life which is . ok and it becomes the driving force of everything or something. sasuke leaves and naruto dedicates the rest of his life to bringing him back and you’re still a casual fan so ur like he’s doing it for the promise right? then orochimaru says sasuke is his and naruto goes batshit insane feral homicidal (again) and after that sasuke reappears and they have ??? like five different panels dedicated to them staring at each other??? and he jumps off a mountain and hugs naruto for some reasons just to whisper some gay shit in his ear kishimoto frankly needs to be jailed drawing this and keep that best friend nonsense going. anyways. you have sasuke become a convicted terrorist to which the normal people response is “ok we need to hunt him down” and when naruto learns they’re gonna hunt him down he starts screaming crying throwing up he has a panic attack he can’t breathe he’s falling in the snow he gets on his knees and begs them to spare his BFF. after having a meltdown over the thought of sasuke dying what may possibly be the natural coping mechanism any stable person would adapt? of course realising that if sasuke dies he can die too. so he sees sasuke again and after he attempts murdering sakura twice and expresses the intent to murder kakashi he’s like. i will bear the burden of your hatred and die with you hehe and if we both die you won’t be an uchiha and i won’t be the jinchuuriki to the nine tails and we’ll be able to understand each other better in a different lifetime! WE’LL MEET AGAIN IN THE AFTERLIFE BECAUSE NOT EVEN DEATH CAN DO US PART! and sasuke (just as insane as him) doesn’t even flinch he’s like what the fuck is wrong with you but then ok let’s fuckingggf die together on my god i will kill your first anyways . then they find out they are soulmates and get cute matching tattoos on their hands and decide to fight to the death once more because sasuke is back on his i will shoulder all the hatred of the world alone and i need to kill you because i love you more than anyone else in the world actually you’re the only person i love so you need to DIE and naruto is like I WILL NOT LET YOU SHOULDER THAT HATRED ALONE I WILL FREE YOU FROM THE PAIN and they fight and despite all the whatever weapons used in the war it’s a fuckinggg fistfight in which just as sasuke is about to inflict what he thinks is the last blow says “farewell… my one and only…………………. (very long pause to accentuate how heteronormative this next word is gonna be) FRIEND” and fucking stops using his sharingan because not even then he can record the image of naruto dying especially by his hand but naruto STOPS HIM LIKE A f cHAMP and they end up blowing each other’s arms off (rip the matchies) and as they’re bleeding to the fucking death sasuke is like you’re the only person that has never tried to severe their ties with me why do you go so far for me and naruto from the depths of comphet hell is like because you’re my FRIEND and sasuke being absolutely done with this bullshit is like ok what the fuck does that mean to you then and this is where it gets even gayer and relatable because naruto is like i don’t KNOW i just know that when you hurt i hurt and i just can’t take it and isn’t that the most gay experience thing ever? naruto knows what it feels like to have friends but what he feels for sasuke is so bone deep and unconventional that he cannot make sense of it and can only describe the pain it brings. after that sasuke CRIES LIKE THEYVE GOT ME SOOO FUCKED UP but you know what got me even more fucked up?

naruto waking up bloodied and battered and half alive with one arm missing but still wondering if that was heaven because sasuke was next to him. sasuke looking so happy and peaceful when saying “i lost” as a stark contrast to him looking and feeling like half of his body was being torn apart when he “won” against naruto in vote1 and left him. the bitterness of victory vs the sweetness of losing if you will. AND HIM COMPARING WHAT HE FEELS FOR NARUTO TO PRAYING MY GODD. did i forget to mention that then we learn that Ohhh it was never a stupid shallow rivalry as we all thought! they have actually been watching each other from afar since they were little freshly traumatised children and have longed to hold each other’s hands since then! what was it sasukeeee you felt warm and fuzzy when you saw naruto to thought of it as a weakness? these two are so astronomically hopelessly desperately obsessed in love with each other it’s ridiculous i’ve had ENOUGH free me from this mental prison

[dranosh-haran-of-paleoworld]

Okay, this is my first time doing this, but I need to say this, to the people who claim Sasuke's a bad clan leader, or that Fugaku and Mikoto would've accepted his relationship with Sakura had the clan survived, you're all idiots and I am not sorry for saying that.

I don't watch or read Boruto as I don't consider anything past chapter 695 as canon, but I'm still going to get this out of the way first. Sasuke never wanted to marry that bitch Sakura, he never wanted a kid with her or whatever. This man is the victim of a state-sanctioned genocide, torture, and humiliation at hands of his own brother whom he loved dearly and admired, and it was all done on orders of the state after decades of systemic segregation, oppression, prejudice, and discrimination. Sasuke was forced to relive the massacre over a million times in the Tsukuyomi and went through this twice once when he was 7 and again when he was 12 or 13, with the latter experience putting him in a coma following Itachi breaking his wrist and ribs, and this nearly killed him had Tsunade not helped him (literally the ONLY good thing she did in the series). If anyone here in the real world experienced this, they'd either be dead or in some kind of mental hospital. The point is that they would be mentally destroyed, and they'd barely be able to function in society. Regular depression already fucks people up as is, and Sasuke went something no one should ever have to go through and it's a miracle he's still able to function as is.

Sasuke also repeatedly to Sakura to fuck off and leave him alone. That bitch repeatedly pestered and harassed him for years, emotionally wearing him down until he agreed to hump and dump her ass once. This bitch emotionally abused this poor guy, so it's no surprise he not only didn't want shit to do with her or her sithspawn of a daughter. This guy wasn't emotionally or mentally stable after what Itachi did to him at 7, and he hasn't been since. Hell, it's said in one of the databooks that Sasuke originally wanted a normal life with family and friends, but Itachi ruined it with his torture sessions. Those of you shitting on Sasuke for not being a good clan leader for not communicating with Sakura or Sarada or something, don't use your heads, those two dumbasses aren't even Uchiha.

Now, onto the other part of my argument, neither Fugaku nor Mikoto would've accepted Sakura being in a potential partner for Sasuke had the Uchiha survived, however, before I start this portion let me admit that this will be hard for me to properly articulate and so I apologize in advance so with that said let's get into this.

Putting aside how shitty and lackluster of an individual Sakura herself is, she also offers or brings nothing to the table.

As other people have so beautifully said before, the Uchiha are one of the oldest and strongest clans in the series. Their lineage goes back thousands of years, dating back to the time of Hagoromo, who himself was considered a myth by the public in the present. Because of this, there's a great deal of prestige, honor, pride, and recognition that comes with their bloodlines' age. Not only that, but the Uchiha are more distinct and well-known than any other clan in the series. The Uchiha are the ONLY clan to possess distinctly potent and voluminous chakra, and because of this, they're only ones who possess and wield one of the most powerful and coveted kekkei genkai in the series the sharingan. This stems from them being the ONLY clan to have inherited the potent chakra and dojutsu of the Shinju.

The Uchiha have their own clan specific culture, mores, values, beliefs, and traditions strictly unique to themselves, for example, the clans' crest can only be worn by the members of the clan who've demonstrated mastery over their signature fireball katon jutsu and as Fugaku says to Sasuke it represents the will of those with fans who manipulate fire, use or mastery over this jutsu also makes that Uchiha a fully fledged member of the clan.

The Uchiha were known and feared throughout the world for their strength, prowess, and renown as a battle clan, so much so that other villages had rules when facing off against them. Every time someone saw or confronted Sasuke, they always brought up his lineage with reverence and fear. Two Kumo shinobi saw him and Taka carrying Bee away, and while they considered rescuing Bee, they immediately changed their minds upon seeing the Uchiha crest on Sasuke's back and instead reported to Ae about what happened. A whole crowd of wealthy patrons showed up at the Chunin Exams to see the last Uchiha battle it out, and that's why Sasuke wasn't disqualified for showing up late to his battle with Gaara during the Exams. During the Warring States Period, the Uchiha were virtually unstoppable with only the Senju due to their jutsu variety and their chieftain the freak Hashirama Senju rivaling them.

Taking all of this into account, there's no reason for a distinguished clan/bloodline like the Uchiha to take an outsider like Sakura into their midst and spoil the bloodline. Bloodline purity is a thing in the real world and persists to this very day. It's actually considered to be a huge transgression for members of distinguished clans, families, and lines to bring outsiders in and spoil their bloodlines by marrying them to the point that they're cast out and probably disowned to the highest caliber for doing it.

I wanna briefly talk about Sakura herself and explain why neither Fugaku, Mikoto, or the rest of the clan wouldn't have accepted her into their midst.

As a shinobi, Sakura is a complete nobody. She has no feats, strengths, capabilities, skills, or whatever that her remotely capable.

Her chakra reserves ridiculously tiny, she can't even handle a trickle of biju chakra. Her skillset is a complete copy pasta of Tsunade's, her skills as a medical nin are surpassed by those of Tsunade, Hashirama, Kabuto and even Sasuke during the time he had Orochimaru's white snake abilities in his system and even after he lost that, as Sasuke's self-taught himself to funnel raiton through his body to avoid mortal injury which he's done during his battles against Deidara, Bee, and Danzo. Sakura hasn't improved on, reinvented, or created her own jutsus. Her super strength is just an extension of her byakugo. She's got no talent for genjutsu or handling vast amounts of chakra. Her speed and agility feats are nonexistent, and her intelligence feats are lackluster too.

Sakura also doesn't come from a distinguished clan or bloodline. Neither she nor her parents are civilians. Let me take this time to clarify that the hidden villages house NO civilians within their midst, the hidden villages are MILITARY powers, everyone within them are soldiers, it would be antithetical for these villages to house civilian populations within them as the civilians contribute nothing to the overall prosperity and function of the village as again these are military powers within the countries. Sakura and her parents are from a smaller or minor clan within the series.

Sakura also doesn't train or take her training seriously. Sasuke points this out to her in canon during the earliest chapters of the Chunin Exams arc, and Sakura still did jackshit about it, only finally taking her training seriously after Sasuke left Konoha for good and defected to Orochimaru. And since the Uchiha again are a battle clan and the most elite clan in canon, someone like Sakura ain't being allowed within a hundred feet of them.

As an individual, Sakura, as I said above, is very lackluster and shitty. This girl has petty self-esteem issues. She knows she's lacking in various departments and tries to compensate for this by latching onto others like a leech and using them for her self-worth, Ino was originally this before Sasuke unwittingly came along. She's very shallow and vain, too.

She knows absolutely nothing about Sasuke from minor things like whether or not he wore glasses, to serious things like him being an orphan, which is ridiculous since everyone else at the academy knew these details before they were made genins. She doesn't question or try to understand Sasuke or his motivations.

She's an asshole to pretty much anyone and everyone around her whenever Sasuke's not around in canon, including other women.

She broke off her years' worth of friendship with Ino over a boy who didn't know she existed and wanted nothing to do with her. She's also made numerous attempts to downgrade and put Ino down, despite the fact that Ino was the first person to treat her with kindness, helped her with her bullies, and was the first person to validate her. Ino was also the one to try and mend and patch up their relationship. Hell, Sakura wanted Sai to call Ino ugly and was pissed when he didn't.

During the War Arc, she disrespected Tsunade, her own mentor who turned her from a nobody to a decently capable medical shinobi.

She taped a picture of her in her thirties over a picture of Karin with Sasuke and spreads rumors to Sarada about other women, like Ino trying to take Sasuke away from her.

She frequently insults and assaults Naruto, and it isn't comedy relief as she does this even after he saves her or treats her nicely. She assaulted Sai for calling her ugly despite the poor guy being a slave and Sakura name calling Naruto on a regular basis. She also attacked Konohamaru before calling her an ugly bitch (which was based on his part lol). She was also pissy about his and Naruto's sexy jutsus only to act like a fan girl when he showed her hot naked dudes, like Sasuke. So she's a hypocrite.

And she doesn't care about her own parents, and actually disrespected them, Naruto's parents, and Sasuke's as well. She tried in canon to invalidate the importance and love Sasuke had for his parents and clan, and that's tremendously disrespectful. Hell, in Boruto, she repeatedly chased after Sasuke despite being pregnant with Sarada putting her at risk, discarded the umbilical cord, which is a serious taboo, wrecked her house when Sarada asked her a simple question or two about her father, Karin frequently sends Sarada gifts instead of Sakura.

The Uchiha as a whole care deeply about one another and all within their clan, and someone like Sakura, who's again vain, shallow, petty, selfish, disrespectful, and ignorant would NEVER be considered fit to join them.

Let's play a little game of What if? Because this is something I've thought about for a while.

Following Sasuke's successful usage and mastery of the Uchiha fireball katon in front of Fugaku who himself chooses to make Sasuke his heir, Hiruzen decided to not only personally meet with and apologize to Fugaku and the Uchiha for the false accusations and punishment over the 9-Tails attack, but he also grants the clan the rights and positions of power that they deserved from the beginning, even stepping down as hokage and letting Fugaku become hokage then and there, but Fugaku maintains his decision on Sasuke being the next clan head. If this scenario took place, there's no way in Hell Sakura's going to be anywhere near Sasuke. He would've been even more untouchable for her than he already was in canon. Sasuke was already very clan oriented and duty bound in canon. He was fervently loyal and devoted to his clan and cared deeply about what they and his family thought of him, outsiders be damned. Fugaku isn't allowing any of his children, especially his heir, to marry an outsider like Sakura. The Uchiha clan in its entirety wouldn't have accepted this either. There's no way they would've accepted their future chieftain marrying a non-Uchiha, and if they did accept it, they would've accepted someone of equal standing or prestige as them. Fugaku and Mikoto would've arranged a marriage for Sasuke, and he wouldn't have objected to that. After all, Sasuke was pulling out all the stops in canon to make his father happy, and he was already extremely close with Mikoto and was well liked and respected by the rest of the clan so marrying someone his parents picked out for him is something Sasuke's definitely doing.

Let's also not forget that Sasuke's extraordinary on all fronts, in terms of beauty, skill, strength, talent, and prodigiousness, all of this, and his chakra volume and potency are through the fucking roof even the standards of his own clan. Sasuke's Sharingan is the most powerful and potent within the series since or after Indra’s which is insane as only Indra inherited his fathers chakra.

Orochimaru and Obito both knew and explicitly stated that Sasuke's Sharingan and chakra were more powerful than Itachi's. In canon, Sasuke was supposed to be THE vessel for Orochimaru, the last one he'd EVER need. Obito's entire Infinite Tsukuyomi plan hinged on utilizing Sasuke at EMS and connecting him to the Gedo Statue, something Nagato, Konan, Zetsu, and no doubt Kisame knew all to well. Kabuto knew this, too, and he himself had his own plans for Sasuke. He blackmailed and helped Obito fight a war for Sasuke, and that war was fought to see who between them could get to Sasuke first. Everyone wanted Sasuke for one reason or another, either for his looks (Sasuke's the most good-looking character in the series), his talents and skills, and abilities everything. Madara, Tobirama, Orochimaru, Obito, Zetsu, Gai, Jiraiya, Cee, Darui, Bee, Mei, Hagoromo, Kurama, Karin, Jugo, Suigetsu, Kabuto, Kakashi, Hiruzen, Neji, Tenten, Deidara, Nagato, Konan, Kisame, and Fugaku (when Sasuke performed their clans rite of passage jutsu at the age of 6 only a week after being shown it once) all of them to varying degrees were aware and dumbstruck by Sasuke's gifts and many of them wanted him.

Sasuke's skills with the sharingan, chakra, and Ninjutsu are beyond profound. He's genetically capable of awakening the EMS and the most unique rinnegan in Shinobi history.

In this alternate timeline, Sasuke's going to be trained to hell and back by not only Fugaku and everyone who he deems fit to train him. As he grows and matures Sasuke's parents and clan, ARE going to take notice of all of these aspects and gifts of his, and they're going to be especially picky about who his bride would be, as the next head of the Uchiha clan especially one like Sasuke with his looks, skills, talents, wealth, and prestige can't and won't marry just anyone especially without the consent of his parents and clan.

In this scenario, Sasuke's future wife would either be another Uchiha (the most logical conclusion) or someone else from another distinguished clan or bloodline. I see people mentioning Ino and Karin on this topic since their love for Sasuke while still being in part because of his beauty is still way more genuine than Sakura's. Karin was saved a few times by Sasuke, and he ultimately was the one who allowed to take control over her own future. She knew and understood Sasuke the most, and her relationship with Sasuke is the most erotic in canon.

Ino's love for Sasuke was described as tender by her father, and it was never about herself but how he brought her joy.

Frankly I don't object to either of them being with Sasuke, although I would like someone to help me understand how Ino from a bloodline perspective would be a good match for Sasuke as Karin is an Uzumaki and her clan has been around as long as the Uchiha so I can see why Fugaku and Mikoto would've accepted her as a future daughter-in-law, but Ino I feel like I'm missing something else or I'm just over thinking it in regards to her. Ino and Karin are also better individuals than Sakura and capable shinobi, their skills, abilities, and lives having nothing to do with Sasuke and instead being completely independent of him. Neither of them were pushy and respected Sasuke's boundaries to a better degree than Sakura.

This was a long-winded post, I know, but essentially, Sakura ain't ever hooking up with Sasuke at all, Fugaku and Mikoto ain't letting her anywhere near him.

Before I close this off, I want to ask anyone who reads this. Who else do you think Fugaku and Mikoto would've accepted as Sasuke's bride in the little what if I put above? Let me say I'm not a shipper, and like others, I find the Naruto fandom's obsession with shipping to be incredibly stupid and annoying. I am staunchly in the Pro Uchiha, Sasuke, Madara, Indra, Fugaku, and Mikoto camp, the Uchiha its members and lore, as well as the real world myths and lore used by Kishimoto to create them all capture me. But admittedly, I do agree with some people who agree that Karin and Ino would've been better partners, and that really had me thinking about who else Fugaku and the rest of the clan would've saw as fit to marry Sasuke and join the clan, so yeah I'm curious to know your thoughts and opinions on this topic as well, however, I do not agree with the Sasuke x Hinata ship, I want to shoot that down quickly, that shit ain't happening.

But again, this is a very long first post of mine on Tumblr, so yeah, thanks for reading.

[puddinqinq]

Could I maybe request a nsfw alphabet for Naruto and Sasuke. <33

Nsfw alphabet ft. Naruto & Sasuke!

A/n: thanks for being my first ask! ♡ sorry if it's a bit short, this is my first time with nsfw 😭🩷

Naruto Uzumaki -

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): He tries his best! He's super full of energy, and sometimes forget you're tired after sex. Let him know what you need and he's got it for you! His favorite part of aftercare is probably holding you and talking.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): His favorite part of himself is probably his hands! Whether in a sexual context or not, he loves touching you. His favorite part of you is your face, he loves looking at the expressions you make!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person): He loves finishing on your face, or in your mouth!

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): He REALLY wants to fuck you with his shadow clones.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): Moderately? He's had a couple partners since becoming more popular in the village. He has to be told what you like!

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying.): He's often all over you at random times, he likes going at it against the wall.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc): He's very silly, it's in his nature!

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.): Naruto doesn't shave. He's not a fan. His hair is just a bit darker than the ones on his head!

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…): Naruto can be intimate, but oftentimes can't be serious. That doesn't mean he doesn't find it romantic, he just likes cracking jokes and giggling throughout sex!

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon): He masturbates a lot, even with a partner. Very very easily worked up.

K = Kink (one of their kinks): Praise 100%, he lives for your affection and compliments.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do): On the wall or over a counter... Often too impatient to make it to bed.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): Praising him about nearly anything! He's immediately all over you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Naruto refuses to degrade, he'd feel too guilty afterwards.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc): Prefers to receive, but is never opposed to giving!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): Fast! He's naturally very hyper, and sometimes will need to be told to slow down.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.): Loves them! He gets to set a fast pace and get things done before having to head out on a mission, go out, etc.!

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.): He'll experiment if you want to! He's plenty happy with his sex life as it is, but would try most things at least once if asked.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…): Lots of stamina! He lasts pretty long and can go for multiple rounds without needing a break (please...tell him if you need a second).

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): Not really, he doesn't see a need for them. He doesn't mind you having any, but won't go out of his way to use them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): Huge tease! Even if it's stupid icha icha paradise quotes it's his mission to fluster you. Once he discovers edging it's definitely his favorite thing.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make): Surprisingly I don't think he'd be very loud, talkative sure. But he's more likely to groan and grunt quietly.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice): He goes way, way rougher on you if he feels shown up my Sasuke.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words): about 5.5 inches, but pretty thick. Veiny.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): Incredibly high, he's almost always down for anything.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): Doesn't fall asleep for a while, but tries to once you're asleep.

-

Sasuke Uchiha -

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): So attentive! Constantly asking if you're alright and if he can get anything for you. Has water and a cloth on standby for you!

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): He likes his eyes most. Not only as a pride thing but because whenever you compliment them it fills him with so much joy. He says he loves every part of you equally, but I think he's an ass guy in (not so) secret.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person): He's absolutely without question into breeding. Restoring the clan and all of that.. If you ask him not to of course he'll comply but other wise he'll ask to finish inside.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): He may or may not steal some of your clothes to bring with him on travels, and jerk off while smelling them.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): I'd say he's pretty experienced, many women find him wildly attractive.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual): Missionary, he loves looking into your eyes!

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc): He's very serious. Naruto's exact opposite, he sometimes makes a sarcastic remark but otherwise he's not one for jokes.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.): He trims and sometimes shaves, both hair colors are the same!

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…): Very very romantic! He wants to make it special for you most of the time, even if you've been together long.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon): Not too often actually. Only if he really really misses you! Otherwise, it's incredibly rare.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): Breeding, obviously. He loses his control at the thought of you having his children.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do): 100% the bed, he's normally going out of his way to take things to the bedroom if you both aren't there already.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): Talks about wanting kids, and smelling you. If you have a perfume you often wear or shampoo you use he's buying you more the moment you run out.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): He hates the idea of causing you any pain, even light slaps make him feel awful.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc): He prefers to give! He's okay dying if it's between your thighs. Sometimes you'd have to pry him off of you after he starts, Sasuke is a determined man.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): Sasuke is slow and sensual, he may speed up towards the end but is more into the intimate aspect of sex.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.): Absolutely not a fan. Maybe if he's in a rush and especially worked up, but even then he wouldn't feel as satisfied.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.): He's okay trying what you want! He doesn't have many specific things he'd like to try. Maybe temperature play. Not risky at all.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…): Pretty high stamina, a lot like Naruto! Lasts pretty long and for a good amount of rounds.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): Is out too much to use toys, really. He likes using vibrators on you when he's home, though!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): He's wrapped around your finger, if you want something he won't deny you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make): He's a lot more vocal when he's close, otherwise it's an occasional grunt (sometimes you wonder if he's even enjoying it... He is.)

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice): I think he's blunt about what he wants. He's likely to straight up tell you, "I want to have sex". Pretty honest guy!

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words): About 7 inches, not very thick. Upward curve.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): I don't actually think it's very high! He likes it, yeah, but his libido is a bit below average. He doesn't mind whenever you want, though. You often may have to take initiative.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): Not very quickly. He holds you until you're asleep but stays up thinking or looking at you before he finally closes his eyes.

[saigethearies]

his girl best friend

kiba x fem!reader

18+ MINORS DNI

contents/warnings: reader is a lil possessive, vaginal sex, daddy kink, voyuerism(?), dash of degradation, sorry hinata stans lol she’s a lil problematic in this, allusions to unfaithfulness (not with reader’s relationship)

you were not a huge fan of hinata hyuga.

when kiba had first introduced the two of you, you had thought she seemed like a shy sweetheart. she was friendly enough and a little less intimidating to talk to than kiba’s other longtime friend, shino aburame.

the fact the guy you were seeing had a close friendship with another girl didn’t bother you, either. you weren’t an insecure person, and kiba didn’t give you any reason to start feeling that way, either. besides, hinata was finally going on dates with the man she’d had a crush on for years, naruto uzumaki.

there was no reason to dislike her.

until there was.

it started when you and kiba made it official. you had watched him type something on his phone after the two of you got back from your date.

“whatcha doing?” you had asked him, sitting down on the couch next to him.

he gave you one of his signature grins. “just telling shino and hinata the good news.”

butterflies flittered around your stomach at the fact your new boyfriend was so proud to have you that he wanted to tell his friends immediately.

he leaned in to give you a quick peck on your lips. “i’m gonna go take akamaru out real quick. you stay in here though, it’s dark out.”

“okay,” you replied. “don’t be too long!”

he left the room, and you glanced to see that he’d left his phone. message notifications displayed on the screen, and you leaned in to take a closer peek.

shino: congratulations, kiba. she seems very good for you.

that made you smile. but the text you saw next didn’t.

hinata: don’t you think it’s a little soon for the two of you to become official?

too soon? you’d known kiba since last year, and the two of you had been romantically linked for a solid month now. your relationship didn’t feel rushed at all, and who was she to judge? not everyone has to lurk on their crush for years before finally talking to them.

you chalked it up to her being jealous that her and naruto didn’t have a label yet while you and kiba did. still, her making negative remarks about your relationship that was only about two hours old left a bitter taste in your mouth.

everything seemed to go downhill from there.

she would practically ignore you whenever kiba brought you to a function. when you mentioned it to him, he said that she was just being shy as per usual. you would have taken his word for it, if it weren’t for the fact she was able to talk to you just fine before you became kiba’s girlfriend.

then there was the fact that when she wasn’t ignoring you, she was trying to best you in kiba 101.

“babe, i found out today one of my friends has an uncle who works at a jeep dealership,” you said to kiba at the kickback he had brought you to.

your boyfriend’s eyes sparkled. “no way.”

“what’s so special about that?” you heard hinata ask from across the table.

“because a wrangler is kiba’s dream car,” you replied.

hinata blinked. “no. his dream car is a camaro.”

you fought the urge to frown at her. was she seriously doing this right now? “it was a camaro, until he decided he wanted something that can off road.”

“she’s right,” kiba chimed in with a smile on his face, kissing the side of your head. “great memory, baby.”

you turned to meet his gaze and smiled back at him, the reflection in the window behind kiba giving you the perfect view of the eyeroll hinata gave your exchange.

your annoyance was finally coming to a crescendo when you started to catch her actually ogling your boyfriend.

she would practically be making fuck me eyes at kiba while standing right next to naruto, the guy who she’s supposed to be flirting with. you would feel bad for the blonde if it weren’t for the fact that he was too busy making fuck me eyes at sasuke uchiha to notice his date making fuck me eyes at her best friend.

you’d had enough.

hinata was supposed to be focusing on starting her own relationship. she’d also had plenty of opportunity to explore a possible romance with kiba, considering she’d known him for years before you even came into his life. it’s not like kiba would have rejected her, either. even though he’d never really had feelings for hinata like that (a fact shino had assured you of) she was still a pretty girl that he was close to. he probably would have been open to the idea. 

but no.

hinata decided that her friend getting into a happy relationship with another girl was the perfect time to start wanting him.

it wasn’t fair.

the worst part of all is that you didn’t want to tell kiba, who was oblivious to all of this. not because you were afraid that he wouldn’t believe you, but because you knew that he’d want to do something about it. his friends were important to him, but he wasn’t going to let anyone disrespect the boundaries of his relationship. it would impact his and hinata’s friendship in a very negative way, and you knew it would upset him.

thus, you figured you could try and resolve the problem on your own.

you were going to remind hinata hyuga of her place, and it sure as hell wasn’t in your boyfriend’s bed.

your plan fell into place on one of the trio’s game nights. kiba had hinata and shino come over every so often to play some classic board games, which was actually pretty wholesome when you ignore the whole part about hinata being after your boyfriend’s dick.

the girl in question usually got there about thirty minutes earlier than shino, probably so she could have a little window of time just her and kiba. this ended up working out for you, though.

because poor shino did not need to see what was about to happen.

all it took was an extra short pair of shorts, a bullshit excuse of you came over to find your sunglasses, and your boyfriend’s ever raging libido for your plan to kickstart.

“please, kiba, just really quick? we’ll be done before either of your friends even get here.”

he could never say no to you, not when you were being so cute and needy for him.

thus, that’s how hinata hyuga came to find you bouncing on kiba’s cock in the middle of his living room.

she stayed hidden around the corner leading to the hall, eyes blown open in shock as she watched your hips continue to slam down onto her best friend’s lap.

“fuck,” you moaned. “daddy, you feel so good.”

the brunette was canting his hips up to meet yours. “such a good little slut for me. you couldn’t wait until after my friends left, huh? wanted your daddy that bad.”

“yes!” you replied. “want you so bad.”

“it’s okay, princess, you have me.”

you hummed and leaned in for a sloppy kiss, kiba grabbing the back of your neck so he could deepen it. the sound of skin slapping against skin got louder as both of you increased the vigor in which you fucked one another.

you pulled away, a string of saliva connecting your mouth to his. you could still feel hinata’s eyes on the two of you, so it was time to go in for the kill.

“daddy,” you cooed at kiba. “tell me i’m yours.”

“you’re mine, baby. my pretty girl.”

you smiled. “m’your pretty girl?”

“mhm, my pretty girl and my favorite girl.”

you leaned into his neck so he couldn’t see the wicked smirk stretch across your face. you finally turned your head to the side, making direct eye contact with a still lingering hinata.

“i love you, daddy.”

“i love you too, princess. my one and only.”

at that you saw hinata turn on her heel and practically storm out of the house.

looks like she got the message.

[niphredil-14]

Hihi Renza! :D

I was wondering if I could maybe request some tmnt if that's ok! I was wondering if maybe you'd be comfortable writing a headcanon for the 2012 turtles finding out reader's secret of having an otome game obsession (me) ><

I was just kinda wondering what thier reactions would be to like...the honest to goodness library of otome routes both of us have read at some point in time! ><

Hope that's ok! No pressure to write at all! This is only if you're comfortable with it!

Hope you're having the loveliest day, and getting plenty of rest, and receiving some warm happy hugs!!!

Girl I am so sorry that this has taken me so long to get to!

Leonardo:

Leonardo has definitely dabbled in otome games, although I don't see him as having played a whole lot of them. I could see him being a huge fan of Ikemen Sengoku, though. His favorite IkeSen suitor would probably either be Hideyoshi or Sasuke, no you cannot convince me otherwise. I think he would have a loose-liking of Nobunaga but mostly just because he kinda gives Karai vibes (i do not ship Leo/Karai). I can kinda see him kinning Hideyoshi and admiring Sasuke, being more attracted to Nobu. Leo may be taken sightly aback if he realizes just how many otome games you've played. I don't think he would judge you, though. In fact, he might find it fun to play some of the routes with you and share thoughts, almost like an otome version of a book club. I giggle at the though of playing IkeVamp Leo's route and talking to TMNT Leo about IkeVamp Leo (his almost-namesake) and just how they're so different lmao. I NEED TO HEAR HIM VOICE AN OTOME MAN, HAVE YOU HEARD HIM SPEAK??? HE'S GOT THE PERF VOICE

Raphael:

As much as I hc Raph to be such a (secret) sucker for romance media, I feel like he wouldn't really understand or be interested in otome games. He wouldn't seriously judge, but he would tease you for playing so many. He'd joke, saying that you probably like your anime boyfriends more than him, but I think deep down that he would really want the reassurance. If he was gonna like any otome game, it would have to be one here the MC falls in love with a "monster," be that a literal one, in the sense of them just not being human (Like IkeVamp) or in the sense of the LI just having irredeemable qualities/being aggressive/being evil, I think that's the only kind he could really get behind. Any kind of Beauty and the Beast type of story he looovesssss. Because of that I could see him enjoying Ikemen Prince (very lightly, he just likes the comparison to beauty and the beast), but if he were going to get attached to any otome game, it would be Ikemen Vampire. I think Theo would be his kin, and his crush.

Donatello:

No matter how many otome games you've played, I guarantee that this man has played more. And not just otome games, but really any dating sim. The FNaF Dating Sim will always (ironically, mostly because of nostalgia) have a place in his heart, but honestly, I kind of see him being a big fan of MLQC (Lucien is his favorite 100% sweetheart, but also evil scientist? What do you mean it's not Don?) No matter what game he plays, he always either falls for his kinnie, or a woman way out of his league lmao. Without fail. I think he would also be a fan of the Your Boyfriend Dating Sim. It scratches the immoral, fucked up, obsessive part of his brain (my boy just wants someone to love him as much as he loves them :c)

[blueysky12]

I want to say this and get this off my chest. Sakura fans, Hinata fans, Sasusaku fans, and Naruhina fans, this post is not for you so if you’re going to say anything rude don’t read this post.

I wanted to pointed out some things about Sakura and Hinata especially their fandom

Here we got this(not mine btw) What? Did this person ever watched the anime or read the manga at all? I don’t think we never had a canon reason why Sakura became a kunoichi/Ninja nor it was stated why she became one. Hinata had a canon reason I believe, She was a force to become a ninja or something like that but I guess some Sakura fans think Hinata became a ninja to get Naruto to notice her.

Apparently Hinata can’t cry because her husband is never home? Kushina and Minato died for their child and I don’t know how Mito died because I haven’t watched Naruto in a long time but I do have the manga but not the whole collection yet. I mean wouldn’t you be sad and crying that your husband is never home with you and your kids.

Sarada was being rude because she asked a question about her mom marriage?.. Never knew it was rude to ask your mom or dad about their marriage/relationship. Sarada does have a right to ask Sakura about her marriage with Sasuke, Sarada hasn’t seen her dad for years.

Now we’re fighting who’s the best mother now? My personal opinion who are the best mothers are kushina and Mikoto. They actually care for their kids and died for them.

The parents in boruto:

I might get hate for this but Hinata, Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke are all terrible parents. Sasuke and Naruto are both absent for their kids and Sakura and Hinata are literally ok with them being absent for their kids. Whenever their kids say about how they feel and wish their dads were their for them, Hinata and Sakura are like “He has a lot of work or “He has been oh his mission”. It’s also fucking funny how people call naruto a terrible dad for missing out boruto birthday and tried to attend his himawari birthday but failed but Sasuke has missed tons of sarada birthdays and people are like he’s hot or a better dad then naruto? I guess a dad who misses tons of his daughter birthdays is better than a dad who misses one his kids birthday and tried to attend his other one.

Naruto the last: I fucking hate this movie and wish to burn it. SP turned Naruto into a complete dumbass, sure naruto was dumb but not completely actually dumb like goku who doesn’t know what a kiss is. It’s funny how SP took naruto and sasuke bonds and give it ti naruto and hinata. Also why is hinata Charka Is purple in the movie? Oh yeah SP took it from sasuke and gave it hinata. It’s funny how they made this movie just for naruto to fall in love with hinata because they were no evidence of him falling in love with hinata. “But Naruto saved her” yes he did but does that mean he loves her, just because a male character saves a female character doesn’t mean he’s in love with her. Sorry to say this but if you get jealous of your crush wearing a scarf from his dead mother which is a memory to them, then you’re nothing but an asshole for that. I hate fucking SP for changing the personality on some of the characters on this fanfic movie.

Sakura: look I seen some people claim that Sakura can madara, obito, naruto, Konan, itachi, sasuke, karin, and others characters and I want to know give me a explanation of how can she defeat this characters? Yes she is strong but does that mean she can beat everyone, no. Madara can easily beat Sakura probably in like a second or minute, Madara is more stronger than Sakura. Also explain to me how can she defeat Karin who was long ass uzumaki chains and Konan who has millions or thousands of paper bombs, so how the fuck can she handle those. Also some Sakura fans are sensitive if you criticize her, if you say something about her then the Sakura fans will attack them, same for hinata fans they do the same thing of what Sakura fans do. It’s funny whenever someone calls hinata pretty or another female character pretty then some Sakura fans are like “nO sAkUrA iS OnLy pReTTy!!” I guess we can’t call other female pretty other than Sakura.

Sasusaku and Naruhina: I sometimes see on twitter about who’s the better ship sasusaku or naruhina and I will say this, they are both terrible ships/couples. They shouldn’t all have been single because sasuke has never shown any love interest in Sakura and girls. Yes they did have moments together but does that mean he loves her? No. He did care for Sakura in og Naruto but did sasuke love her? No he cares her because she’s their teammate so why are some ss fans acting sasuke loves her because he cares for her as a teammate. Almost the same for Naruhina. Naruto ignores her for years but out of nowhere they married? I mean sasuke and Naruto doesn’t even look happy with their wives. Naruto with sasuke he has a big smile but Naruto with hinata it looks like he has a polite smile where he’s forced to take a picture with his family. Sasuke doesn’t look happy around sakura, he just looks annoyed around her. Also what fucking annoys me that I sometimes see some sasusaku fans compare Sasuke and Sakura to Obamitsu(Obanai x Mitsuri) relationship. Really, you’re really comparing a toxic relationship to a healthy relationship? Let me tell you how sasusaku is nothing like Obamitsu

Sakura: was obsessed with sasuke for years and chases after him.

Misturi: wasn’t obsessed with obanai and didn’t chase him and cares for his feelings and wishes.

Sasuke: doesn’t have a shit about Sakura, tried to kill 3 times, abandoned his family for 13 years, doesn’t know he had a daughter, doesn’t visit his family, looks uncomfortable and annoyed with Sakura.

Obanai: cares for misturi, didn’t try to kill her, didn’t abandon her, looks comfortable and happy around mitsuri.

So explain to me how is sasusaku is like Obamitsu. I bet Sasusaku fans compare them to obamitsu is because

Sakura and Mitsuri: Both have pink hair, strong, both has green eyes, both has a crush on black hair guys.

Sasuke and Obanai: Both has black hair, strong, both has snakes.

Also mitsuri goal didn’t revolve around obanai. But Sakura goal lead to revolve Sasuke.

It’s also hilarious how people will shit on hinata for stalking Naruto and losing fights while Sakura did the same thing as hinata.

That’s all for today. You can always correct me

[tamelee]

Just a little rant about HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE NARUTO FANBOYS OH MY GAAWWWDDDD besides the obvious reasons (homophobia, misogyny, incels) they worship the shit outta the worse characters ever like Shikamaru and Itachi and Hinata. Like I just saw on the Naruto Reddit (my fault, I know, but I searched something up about Naruto and the first link discussing that was Reddit) and they all used that stupid dumbass filler where Shikamaru was asking his dad about Naruto and why everyone hates him and how he doesn't hate him (even tho in CANON he did 😤) and they all said not only is he a better friend to Naruto than Sasuke ever was but (here we go again) Sasuke's more of a brother 🙄 and they also said Sasuke treated Naruto like trash and was the worst friend 🤦🏻‍♀️ like it's so insane to me the dudebros lack of brain and reading comprehension. Like how do you as a grown ass man not know the difference between what's actually real and what's not about what you're watching? Or maybe it's that they just hate Sasuke so much and how much Naruto loves him and keeps talking about him and how he's his best friend in canon (he said it way too much for me to believe that even these ugly incels couldn't understand) that they'd rather give the credit to someone else that isn't a threat and doesn't make Naruto act borderline homosexual. Oh and they obviously ignore Shikamaru's blatant misogyny and still consider him the best thing ever because why would they care 🙄 anyway end rant, sorry. I just hate this fandom 😭 I stay on my side of things mostly (well, other than this one time. But when I do I just rant about it to someone and move on)

Ah yeah it’s frustrating isn’t it? 

I think it’s obvious if you’ve read the Manga. I wonder if they’ve only seen the Anime and just don’t bother checking what is canon first. So much is changed from Kishimoto’s original. (Has anyone seen that twt discussion on filler? I’d love to read your opinions on it.) 

I mean, Hinata’s supposed backstory with Naruto is just ridiculous, but I don’t understand why people think Naruto was friends with any of them? Even if it’s shown in filler that Naruto was around them or they asked their parents about Naruto... what makes fans say they were friends? 

Sasuke was the only one who acknowledged Naruto with a smile and they weren't even friends until much later.

Right before the exams, Shikamaru tells team 7 not to die. Not because he’s worried for them, but because he believes they’re not capable, largely because of his lack of faith in Naruto. While Naruto calls them idiots and insults both Shikamaru and Hinata as he introduces them to the reader. 

'A big mouth idiot' and a 'weirdo' (I believe he actually also called her creepy but I can't find the translation, but remember when Kushina told Naruto not to go for a weird girl? She used the same words xD) And then Shikamaru immediately wanted to target Naruto in the forest of death.

Had either of them at any point been friendly to Naruto or whatever, then we would’ve known here and Naruto wouldn’t have insulted them like he did (as is his right) because he craved a connection more than anything. It’s ridiculous how the Anime at times just blatantly ignores the lonely misery Naruto had to grow up in (ALONE) in favor of these other characters. As if sugarcoating that would make any of them look less bad. And don't get me started on Hinata during that written test because it's no wonder Naruto got so confused and didn't trust her "kindness".

Regardless, I think a lot of Naruto-fans who tend to glorify any of these friendships and extending it for what it is largely do so because they side with a narrative regarding the system and don't get why Sasuke (and others) challenged it in the first place. Brushing it off like it was some evil, selfish thing. I personally like Shikamaru's development and who he is as a character in the end because him showing change might've been very helpful in actually changing the system had they worked towards that. But you know... we'll never know.

[mandiips]

BORUTO-VERSE RE-IMAGINING

Fourth War Casualties

New Konoha

Hello Boruto fandom, Never once watched Boruto, never even got past the Kazekage Rescue Arc, personally I think Ikemoto is a bit off his rocker because- how in the world did you manage to make this world even MORE sexist but y'know

so I'm having fun with what i would have liked to see in the next gen, as an original fan, and I am desperately trying to get rid of the ninja brainworms that have gripped me before workflow picks back up. (I'm actually going crazy on Milanotes)

I did some other rough brainstorming in the past and this is kinda building off that: Boruto Hinata

Thoughts:

It strikes me as really odd, for how catastrophic and world-ending the fourth war was, that there were seemingly no major repercussions or casualties. That's just not realistic to me. More than one main character should've died. It gives more emotional weight to someone like Kiba, who doesn't have any big role beyond the War, and thus gives his character a purpose that isn't just "Im gonna be Hokage #57"

The front lines weren't the only places being targeted, villages and safe houses were under siege, resulting in countless civilian, genin, and chunin deaths.

Mei stays Mizukage instead of that spineless, random guy.

I have some ideas for the injuries that the "crippling wounds" category sustains, but it's important to mention that "crippling" only means "not fit for active shinobi duty" since that's the bread and butter job of ninja society, so the severity of the injuries varies greatly.

I'm also aware that medical ninjutsu is like a magic eraser when it comes to stuff like that, but I rationalize that medics were more concerned about helping their patients survive rather than making sure their patients will be able to fully recover. Everyone in the injured category went too long without the proper surgery because they wanted civilians and lower ranks to have access first. Even then, the medical team was stretched extremely thin, so- consequences.

Retired: again, in context of "retired from shinobi duty". Majority still have active jobs. Alongside T&I, Ino still runs her flower shop; Tenten sets up a weapons shop right next to it; Shizune is the volunteer hospital head, meaning she doesn't get paid much, and tutors/helps/does paperwork (Sakura is a top medic who occasionally visits for emergencies- she's mostly busy with medical-related missions); Kurenai and The Boys™ teach at the academy; Karui's teammate, Omoi, moved with her to Konoha and he is now the best babysitter in town- though really he mostly looks after Chōchō and Shikadai when their parents are busy. He lives with Karui and her family, they're like siblings.

Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon were all trained under Naruto during the blank period. However, Moegi was the only one able to reach her full potential because she managed to escape the War with no major wounds. She is now currently stronger than Canon Konohamaru Sensei was.

Marriages:

Nara Shikamaru & Nara Temari

Akimichi Choji & Akimichi Karui

Yamanaka Ino & Yamanaka Sai

Uchiha Sasuke & Haruno Sakura

Shinki, Mitsuki, and Kagura were all part of a Transfer Student Project. All willingly went, All are now full citizens.

I really didn't see Metal or any of the other evicted teammates serving a purpose to the Narrative.. Maybe Metal still exists in the future, the others I do not care about I'm sorry.

I just fucking hate Inojin

Kawaki was adopted when Boruto was around one (1) and a half. Himawari wasn't conceived yet.

Jonin Sensei and Teams:

Team Four (4): Shino, Sarada, Kawaki, Boruto

Team Eight (8): Karui, Iwabe, Kagura, Shikadai

Team Seven (7): Anko, Sai, Shinki, Sumire, Chōchō, Mitsuki

[anime-morality-discussion]

Why I dislike SS and SNS

I’d be willing to bet you’ve seen many posts like this one but this isn’t in favor of one or the other, it’s a critique of both. Does that mean I dislike anyone who ships these ships? No, this is just my analytical standpoint of the ships themselves and the fandom. Let’s start with the fandoms surrounding these pairings.

SS

Okay, where to start, now I don’t like this ship in the slightest and the fandom doesn’t make it any better. Now I know it’s not all of you but it seems a lot of you. I’ve done some of my own digging and found that some of you are wonderful and write great fan fiction or make wonderful art, however some of you take a more toxic approach to defending your ship. This ship isn’t perfect and it being canon doesn’t make it any better, don’t kid yourself. A lot of the fandom for SS seem to think their relationship is perfect which by far isn’t the case. I’ve also seen a lot of homophobia within the SS fandom which I’m going to touch on in a moment, the ship itself is fine I guess, definitely having its quirks but the fandom is what truly bothers me. Sorry this section was so rambly.

Now that we’re done with the fandom part let’s speak about the ship itself, I don’t care for it. No surprises there, this section might be a little shorter because I don’t have much to say. There’s definitely some things about SS that bother me more than others, like Sasuke just up and vanishing after Sarada is born, Sakura seemingly losing all her self respect when Sasuke is around. It just goes on, Sakura is not weak and I think she could’ve been better on her own but that’s just me. For most Naruto ships, I think they were better as friends. Not much to add here.

SNS

Okay, like up top let’s start with the ✨fandom✨ some of y’all are great, others not so much. Something about the sns fandom is there’s quite a bit of hidden misogyny towards both Sakura and Hinata, even if you don’t like how Naruto ended, that doesn’t mean you get to be a misogynistic prick and that goes for the ss fandom as well, you don’t get to be homophobic just because you don’t like sns. Sometimes this fandom can be overbearing now that’s not necessarily a crime but it can get very annoying. Now I’m not going to say “can’t we all just get along?” Because I now that’ll never work, especially when no one can agree on anything. The best I can say is don’t be a bitch, just block or scroll because who actually cares?

For the ship itself, I don’t have much to say honestly. I don’t think Sasuke is a “shippable” character I guess is what I’m saying, he’s the common denominator of why I dislike both these ships, I love all these characters on their own but either shipped with Sasuke doesn’t make sense to me. This ship definitely has its toxicity, often portraying a harmful stereotype of queer men, before anyone says anything like “Naruto and Sasuke aren’t gay” who fucking cares? The ship it’s can often portray a caricature of romanticized abuse which is a problem for me, I haven’t been actively involved in shipping since I was like 13 so forgive me if my insight is outdated.

To make it clear; I’m pro all these characters but anti their ships ya know?

…………………………………………………………………………

Anyway, there you go, if anything doesn’t make sense or seems to rambly, please forgive me. It’s late when I’m writing this and I’m extremely tired. Feel free to debate me or anyone else in the comments but keep it civil. Have a good night!

[mixelation]

For the ship opinion thing if you haven't done it yet.

Sasusaku, narusaku and hinasaku?

I hope I got the ship names right lmao

send me a ship and i'll give you my brutally honest opinion on it

SasuSaku

I'm pretty meh on this one. My hot take is that their early series interactions are actually fine/endearing. I don't personally find Sakura's crush to be grating or "distracting" her too much-- she's literally just twelve-- and it's often wildly flanderized by fans. Sasuke is a dick to her a few times, but he also had moments of supporting her and being kind. Again, he's literally just twelve. That being said. Their canon marriage low-key pisses me off. They did Sakura dirty.

So I don't like how this ship played out in canon, but I'm theoretically okay with a fan version bc I liked their younger dynamic. However, most fanon takes on het ships are.... so boring, and SasuSaku isn't an exception. You COULD write Sasuke looking Sakura in the eyes and going, "Sakura, you can just do whatever you want. What are they going to do? Arrest you?" and then he's opened the fucking flood gates. You could write Sasuke abruptly and terribly realizing a sweaty dirty Sakura ripping a log in half is the sexiest thing he's ever seen. But you don't. YOU DON'T.

NaruSaku

This one.... this one I just can't see. They read so aggressively platonic to me. Yes, DESPITE Naruto's crush. I simply cannot see this ship happening in any timeline or any AU. I know it has some fans but I cannot feel the ship in my heart. I'm sorry. The closest I can see happening is that they mutually decide to try dating because Sasuke won't and then after a couple dates and one make-out session, they're like. well. we DID try. and then they never bring it up again

I guess I do ship SasuNaruSaku though.

HinaSaku

Again, nice aesthetic with a meh dynamic. Hinata is pretty, but I don't find her to be very interesting, and I can't see Sakura making her more interesting. I also can't see Hinata being into a sweaty dirty Sakura ripping a log in half, which is a shame because that's obviously the best Sakura.

[achilleslyre]

ello jitter !! 12, 15, 16 and 19 :)

hiiii kyro!

putting this under the cut cause it’s a long one

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

i feel like i could put quite a few characters here tbh it’s hard to pick. i’m at a tossup between saying obito (extremely hated but does certainly have a group of fans) or shino (forgotten by everyone but 5 people). they are two different types of unpopular. i feel like all my mutuals hate obito though so let me (sloppily, lazily) make my case

1. he is an uchiha

2. groomed and manipulated immediately coming out of an insanely traumatic experience (flat fuck friday) when he is most vulnerable

3. on a team with kakashi and minato (worst thing that happened to him)

4. in his groomed and manipulated mind he did think that he was doing good and solving pointless shinobi death and war.. was bad but is an interesting concept

5. not to point out madara literally put a seal over his heart and as soon as it was broken and he had his faults pointed out to him he changed his ways and realized what he was doing was Bad

6. tobi is silly, obito acting as madara acting as tobi

7. leader of the akatsuki, a based group

8. i do actually find it quite interesting that he shows a different aspect to how it can be to be groomed than to how sasuke or itachi show it. groomed kids aren’t always plotting revenge against the groomer or doing what needs to be done but “”protecting”” what’s most important. sometimes groomed kids will wholly believe in what their groomer has created and will carry that on. it’s just an interesting perspective to me.

9. torments kakashi #deserved

10. he is an uchiha

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

before i answer the real question that fanart of tobirama riding a bike with his dick print front and centre haunts me

smth i see all the time tho….. mmm i’m sure there’s something more bothersome to me but why are there so many people drawing gaara as if the black around his eyes is eyeliner. as if it wasn’t stated it’s eyebags because he doesn’t sleep so he can keep control of shukaku. also every modern au fashion style for itachi. i can’t decide what his style is but none of that is certainly it. it all irks me.

16. you can’t understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, ect)

i hateeeee the ‘naruto is a sunshine boy’ characterizationnnnnnnn he’s literally so mean to people all the time. sure he’s optimistic and is very friendly but when people always depict him as a solely kind and gentle and ‘pure sunshine’ it makes me dance with the block button. when a chararacter is sun coded and they’re happy-go-lucky, radiating kindness <<<<< when a character is sun coded and burns so bright and hot you need protection and cover because he’s dangerous and a spitfire

19. you’re mad/ashamed/horrified you actually like

see if you asked me this months ago it would have been a simple itachi but unfortunately i have grown to accept that part of me. so i will say the war arc #sorry i just really like the bijuu and obito is there a lot so i cannot help it. don’t get me wrong it’s not good but i have a very soft place in my heart for it

[dullahandyke]

yippee yippee yippee yippee eimear con haul!!!!

Hi. It was my birthday recently and I'm bad to shop for so instead of gifts I got money to spend at Kaizokucon. So here's a haul. Under the cut bcos I couldnt fit it nicely in one picture and I wanna ramble

ok we're gonna take it one picture at a time ^_^ the ID in the alt text explains what everything is if u just wanna see what i got without the rambling sure to come with it. links in rambling r to the artists of the fan stuff where i can find em ^_^ only one of them is a direct link to the product tho bcos some ppls shops r down and some ppl dont have all their stuff online. lemons_arent_green youre a real one

Ok the flat stuff!!! black rock shooter poster bcos i already have a figure but i liek her... badass anime girl ily.... was so so sure i saw a reigen keychain but when i went to go get one there weren't any so i got this sticker sheet instead :3 SPEAKING OF KEYCHAINS!!! yippee yippee kaguya i love you youre my special little tiempsy. yue you are a gay anime boy with a cool design. tomoyo ive always felt a kinship with you and its because im a desperate dyke. monokuma is here ig 🙄 i put him on my carabiner and hes fun to stim with. i am not immune to the sdr2 fanboying. also full disclosure ive not watched naruto (its in the spreadsheet) i just thought funko pop sasuke keychain was really really funny. my son who stares into my soul. comparatively i dont have as much to say on the badges!! luka luka fever for real girlie ily. the bandori ones were blind bags and i got himari on my first try <3<3<3<3<3<3 sorry eve i kind of dont care. 🙁 the dr girlies i kinda picked at random based on who i've been vibing w lately.

THE POKEMON DIORAMA!!!! its soooo cool, staff were setting up the trade hall so i was in there all day friday and this shop was one of the first to set up their stands and i was literally staring at it all day... so fucking awesome. the rings n the necklace r from the same shop look at them... im fucking obsessed w the catgirl necklace. literally look at her. i dont thiiink shes supposed to be a specific character but she might be. oh well. cat girl ily. aaaand the arisa stand is actually a little clip for papers n stuff!! she was also a blind box but specifically for popipa so i was gonna b happy w whoever <3

MIIIIKUUUUUU MY PRINCESS MY EVERYTHING!!!!! she was calling to me she beckoned..... shes actually rlly big irl shes the biggest figure i have, replacing my kokoro one... shes the one where i audibly said 'it was my birthday i can buy things' bcos figures spencey... she wasnt too bad actually i just like bitching. 6 euro axel for scale

BOOKS 💥💥💥 i was reading nana a while back and i dropped it but i gotta pick it up again... rlly pretty and awesome... aaaand the summer hikaru died!!! kay if youre seeing this then know you posting abt it convinced me <3 i originally got it bcos i was on door duty in a quiet area and didnt wanna spend my time draining battery life on my phone but after i bought it i realised that that was literally a terrible idea so <3 we'll get around to them soon

FINALLLYYYYYY TSHIRTS!!! the top yellow one was my staff t-shirt, it has 'staff' on the back i was wearing it all weekend and yippee i love it.... emotional bond.... and if this is a safe space can i just say. if kaito was a woman? would. next up FAYE FUCKIN VALENTINEEEE!!! do u remember that post i made going thru all the sellers that were gonna b at the con that started like 'i hate shounen fans. name a woman'? well this is the seller i was talking about but all was forgiven in the name of FAYE ! GODDAMN ! VALENTINE ! ugh i love you girlie. and the last t-shirt was given out free to staff after the closing ceremony!! it was the tenth anniversary of kaizokucon so we got this awesomes design yay.... wore it to classes today hoping somebody would comment on it and nobody did 😌and in the middle i got CLOW CARRRDS BITCHES!!!!!! i saw them and immediately all thought left my fucking brain. i needed them. so important. the seller also recognised the axel in my fanny pack yippee!!!! a few people recognised him over the weekend actually and i was always like yes!! the him

anyway. yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! con con con con con :)

[uchihakeimei]

The simp-ification of Kaisagi is my 13th reason, I'm not even gonna lie chief. Why, whyyy are most Kiis fics like that. Why is Isagi always the poor submissive uke who cries and begs, like, have you seen THEM?? Are y'all sure that any of them would be screaming and crying?? Let's be real, if Isagi saw Kaiser choking himself he would lend a helping hand 😭 God they're so amazing. And crazy. And sick. And batshit insane. I love them a normal amount, I swear-

And I love red-flag-Kaiser. Him being a total asshole, the master of gaslightining, of poor excuses and ghosting. The dude does NOT know how to handle a healthy relationship. He would go crazy if Isagi ever tried to ghost him for a whole day, though. Like, the nerve.

I'm absolutely living for the current Kaiser, crumbling and falling into desperation. I need to see him at his lowest, where not even Ness can help him up. I need to see Isagi step on him and rise. Yet I don't know how this will conciliate with my desire to see PXG win… My boy Rin needs to step on both of them and take his rightful crown. Ugh, I just love all of them. Can't both teams win?? Ego can change football rules, right??

(You brought up two ships that I absolutely despise too, NaruHina and SasuSaku. I barely consider them canon since it's just a poor attempt of catering to heteronormativity. To me they don't even exist. Yes, I do dislike Kainess, but not this much, at least it makes sense somehow. But Kishimoto straight up decided to pull these two ships out of his sorry ass lmfao) I sure would love to say that I miss Naruto, but then I end up remembering that shitty ending and the nostalgia fades… I do really miss its villains though!

Facts, sister.

I have never really understood the attraction in one person of a pairing being absolutely down bad for the other- like, is it really fun when it's so one sided?

In some fics, you can just see the author bias, like its so blatant- one partner is absolutely on their knees for the other.

(Although, I don't exactly mind if it's a pwp, iykwim, it's okay if that's Isagi's kink, no kinkshaming here ;p

Is it unrealistic? Possibly.

Is it kinda hot? Yes)

What really grinds my gears are the character driven fics in which none of them are actually in character.

I see this a lot in Victuuri fics too- some make Yuuri a total BAMF Badass and Victor's completely down bad for him- to the point that Victor's always the one apologising, no matter if Yuuri is in the wrong too.

Kaiser and his everything- character style, arc, personality- is so delicious, I just wanna gobble him up lol

If only everyone could win in a football match... (Ego make it happen please)

NaruHina and SasuSaku... I could rant about these two ships and the travesty that was the ending all day.

Hinata and Sakura and their obsession over those two was so pathetic. The fact that the boys were given to them as reward for persevering in their love makes me want to kill something. And everything after the war arc ended was a way rapidly drive off all the fans of the series.

Like, even if you somehow look past their shitty marriages of convenience and the sheer insult that was The Last, what the fuck was that Hokage Inauguration episode. The sheer anger I feel at the thought of that episode and the fact that people defend that bullshit is going to make me end up at the therapist. Naruto not getting to attend his own inauguration as Hokage was a garbage joke and nothing and no one will ever convince me otherwise.

Sasuke and Naruto deserved to end up together- and no, them being spirit brothers is a garbage reason to not ship them because it's not even fucking true. Transmigration and reincarnation are not synonyms, people.

Personally, I think Kishimoto also wanted them to end up together, but he wasn't allowed to do that. The official art is so couple-y, it's not even subtle. To say nothing of what he wrote in his own series.

Indeed KaiNess makes a hell of a lot more sense then SasuSaku and NaruHina. Atleast Kaiser and Ness are friends- toxic yes, but still friends.