#fuck my bullshit fucking life
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So I’m reading The Green Knight for my Medieval English lit class and I went back and watched your Arthuriana videos for fun nostalgia, but I noticed when you were covering the Green Knight you called Arthur tired. Was there a specific reason why you did that or is that one of those things that, if you decided to redo that video, you would change? I just found it interesting bc the poem clearly states Arthur as boyish and his reason for initially accepting the challenge was pride.
The character of King Arthur that lives in my head has a little more "has been through the Arthuriana timeloop too many times" malaise than any proper characterization of King Arthur in the original stories. The story drifts and changes over time but Camelot always falls, because Arthur is a good king - some would say the perfect king - but that still isn't good enough.
#and it's very funny to me that life at the Round Table is a constant parade of random bullshit quest objectives#characters in my videos are usually significantly more self-aware of their narrative role than the version in the source material#and for king arthur that means my boy needs a Fucking Nap#not aurora#asks
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AHHH A TOTAL OF 50 SM HOURS IT'S DONE 🐡
I'm a bit late but like genuinely the last song made me bawl for hours, it means so much to me be represented, I barely see anything actually portraying bipolar, ocd, osdd, (lots of D's hehe) autism, pots yk all the crazy stuff I got and even if they are it's in an negative light, where they end up miserable forever or they'll some horrible person
Forgive me for the yap 🙏
( thank you on notes + reblogs on the sketch, made a grown man cry tears of joy fr)
#the post traumatic manifesto#tptm fanart#nurse parallel#nurse parallel tptm#post traumatic manifesto#weevildoing#machine girl#sorry im so slow chronic illness really does have some hands#also if the colors are fucked it's bc i use the eye filter thing on my phone at max it's all orange to me#yapping#i wish i knew this series sooner i love it#i thought being disabled meant i could never work hard or achieve a goal and when i found faineant girl in my YouTube recs one day i cried#thank you for making art and putting it out there you really helped my mindset on life#WE APPRECIATING BOTH THE GOOD AND BAD OF LIFE THIS WITH ONE!#oh and#happy new yuri#also im trying to use those blinkie thing i have HUNDREDS of ones saved that ive been collecting for years#never used any of them#new year more bullshit
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oh jason grace they could never make me hate you
#“but he's so bori-” blocked#semi random but i saw somebody today who legit said they hate bianca cuz she#and i quote#“abandoned nico the moment they were safe after basically raising him”#like where do i even BEGIN to unpack the issues with that load of bullshit#too angry to even put it into words ugh#(i typed a paragraph in reply and then blocked that person like the totally cool mature nonchalant person i am)#(realizing rn that this prolly means they won't be able to even see my reply loll)#listen u don't get it#bianca is my baby#i will defend that girl with my LIFE#she resides in a lil pocket in my heart and i do my best to keep her safe and comfortable and warm like she DESERVES#and all you assholes who hate this 12 year old for making a choice for herself can go fuck yourselves#it's these same ppl who LOOOOVE leo and never address that he was in fact a bit mean and a bit of an asshole at times#cuz uwu he uses humour to cope u dont get it#love that boy but are we allergic to complexity in this fandom or what#jason grace#mithi's own#slightly less beloveds#hoo#heroes of olympus#pjo hoo toa#percy jackson#pjo hoo toa tsats#pjo hoo#hoo fandom#hoo series
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and also you're in chronic pain from likely-covid-induced autoimmune disorders and your base line level of mental health is "i want to kill myself but im not supposed to say that so i just pretend im fine."
how is anyone fucking surviving
anyone have any advice for when you spend your entire life suffering and wondering whats wrong with you and why you cant just be normal and then discover you have adhd a very treatable and manageable condition when you have access to medication that helps you but you dont have consistent access to that medication because of the country you live in and the insurance you have so you spend a few months feeling like things are actually getting better for the first time in your life and you start thinking maybe things could change and your life can be what you want it to be but then you can't get your meds filled and then you can't get your meds filled and then you can't get your meds filled and then you end up super mega depressed and unmotivated and dissociated and apathetic but nothing else besides the medication that you can't get has worked. any advice for what you're supposed to do. asking for a friend
#going on month 4 of this stretch of unemployment too#cant work cant survive without working cant get hired anyway#shouldve never quit my job at the hotel just shouldve taken the L when i moved and made peace with driving an hour each way#cuz now im gonna have to get a job that involves being on my feet all day#fucking cool#so cool and fun when nobody believes or cares that youre in pain despite having diagnoses and medications#cuz iM yOuNg!!1!1!!1#fuck you#fuck this#fuck my bullshit fucking life#all i do is make the wrong decisions#even yesterday when im on the phone with an acquaintance to help them sell shit online#i say how are you she says im good how are you i say oh im alright thanks she says YOU DONT SOUND ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#YOU SOUND TIRED WHATS WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#what the fuck#can't even do a basic greeting the correct way apparently#everything i do is the wrong thing even the most basic and minimal of things lmfao
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i dont think i will ever forgive what the internet did to DID because please explain to me how "your sense of self is so torn apart you think youre multiple people" turned into "youre actually multiple people"
do you understand what i mean? please understand what i mean
#kostik speaks#yes cat 3 are real things ive been told and things that honestly really traumatised me and ruined my relationship with myself & disorder#some reassurance im not the only person who finds this super upsetting would be nice#my mental illness: causes harrowing feelings of disconnection from my life and a tendency to disown and/or reject my identity#some people for some fucking reason: reinforces the mental illness in ways never thought possible#i love and appreciate everyone who knows about my bullshit and yet doesnt deny me my personhood or treat me like some freak#i got really triggered about this yesterday so ive deleted the bulk of the tags i wrote (dehumanisation trauma when)#but i stand by this and ive been assured i make sense so sure. posting#this is the real reason i hate giving my disorder by name if you even care. it is specifically this treatment#did tag
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Random outer wilds doodles bc I am (still) losing my mind!!!
#i still have to fight for my life every time i draw nomai#the owlks are chill tho#shoutout to the owlks for being easy to draw#unlike SOME PEOPLE#all the nomai doodles in this batch are solanum btw!!! i love her#ignore how shes not wearing a helmet in any of them#the reason is i no no wanna#also. back on my bullshit regarding the owlks having various reactions to finding a four-eyed amphibian in the dark#i need to follow up the Jumping On The Table guy with a guy whos like “its more afraid of you than you are of it”#and then the guy who just fucking kills you. as in the canon reaction#outer wilds#outer wilds spoilers#echoes of the eye#echoes of the eye spoilers#outer wilds hatchling#outer wilds solanum#outer wilds feldspar#outer wilds gossan#outer wilds owlk#frostgnaw draws
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yeah i don't fucking know either - enjoy !!! 🖤
#gif#the terror#sir john franklin#picmix#terrorposting#i'm back on my bullshit i guess LMAO#i wanted to make these two fucking things for like multiple weeks and now i finally have now i'm finally free lmao#i at one point was just like ' wait wtf am i doing with my life '#and then i kept on going anyway lmao#i had to remake sir john's after making the leg bc his wasn't fruity enough anymore lmao#*jg
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Jon Snow and Sansa Stark in Art
Prince Ivan on the Grey Wolf / Viktor Vasnetsov A Foster Mother / Charles Sillem Lidderdale Portrait of a Young Woman (detail) / Pierre-Auguste Cot King Arthur (detail) / Charles Ernest Butler Portrait of a Young Girl / Konstantin Yegorovich Makovsky Dante and Beatrice in the Garden / Cesare Saccaggi
#jonsa#i have a billion things to do for uni atm so u knowwww i'm fucking around with my jonsa bullshit#my brain literally gets obsessed with making random shit whenever i have actual work to do that will impact my life#the art for jon being a girl bc he’s too pretty. definitely not bc i found the pic first and then reverse image searched to find the info#and by that time the edit was already done and idgaf#art#sansa stark art#jon snow art
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teutemp is so funny cuz it’s Gil’s healthiest relationship but only cuz they’re both dead
#yes all my adult temps are burnt medium rare okay#Gil’s living the good life now#in the sketch it was originally supposed to be pruame but on second thought teutemp fit more#sorry Al#I will never stop cockblocking you#two very pale people#teutemp#aph knights templar#aph teutonic knights#aph prussia#hws prussia#gilbert beilschmidt#temp hits his womb just right I know it#wow aftercare that’s rare#no more nation bullshit to deal with they’re retired now ✌️#spending their golden years fucking and being in love#<3#digital art#my art#hetalia#hetalia fanart#I guarantee you it would be a lot more complicated if they were still nations#you know what…#yandere Gabriel what a thought….#🤔💭
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chat how we feeling about THAT official f1 account post? the one about being landofans gone berserk to such a degree that when max was dropping those 20s+ gaps, it was "making the sport boring" and then lando wins w a 20s+ gap and suddenly, it's *StAtEmEnT*?
*did i mention its only his second win in a car that has been super clear of the rest of the field for 12ish races now and in similar circumstances max won 10/10 races*
#formula 1#f1#max verstappen#formula one#mv1#anti lando norris#British bias bitches#fuck the f1 officials honestly#and the f1 socmed admins#max verstappen the love of my life#they could never make me hate you max#not with all their bullshit#i am normal ab max verstappen#i am so normal ab max verstappen
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I didn't get the sewing job
I just.
why do I even keep going. nothing's ever going to change and nothing's ever going to work out and nobody's ever going to fucking want me
I'm going to get old working part-time jobs with no house and no family and no fucking future
and the economy's about to tank with Tr*mp so if I don't get something before that happens it's never going to
what's even the point honestly. when nothing ever-
#personal#this is such fucking bullshit#I looked up how to do your stupid fucking machine hems and everything and it's still not enough?#I've made goddamn entire Victorian ball gowns. I know how to fucking sew#somebody please give me a fucking decent full-time job. give me some fucking reason to believe things will get better#because that's all that will fix this for me#I don't want to do anything. I don't want to be in this spot anymore I don't I don't I"m SO FUCKING SICK OF TRYING AND TRYING#FOR FUCKING NOTHING#I DON'T WANT TO WAIT SIX GODDAMN MONTHS FOR SOMEONE TO GO THROUGH THIS WHOLE GODDAMN PROCESS#I WANT MY LIFE TO CHANGE. NOW. I'VE BEEN WAITING AND TRYING FOR SEVEN FUCKING YEARS AND NOTHING. NOTHING.#HAS HAPPENED. NOTHING. HAS CHANGED. I JUST GET FUCKING OLDER.#I can buy stupid dolls and make stupid clothes but for what? for what when this is all my life will ever be?#I might as well just give up on all of it because nothing of any real substance will ever change
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something something blood-soaked hands cradling your face something something
anyway here's the post btw
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#what if post dp3 logan struggles to emotionally accept that wade Will Actually For Real Survive Anything#and one time they are fighting some random baddies#and they somehow get in a few shots straight to wade's cranium and he drops like a bag of slutty slutty potatoes#and logan goes full berserker trying to get to him#like he just massacres everyone in his way and wade still isnt getting up ohnoohnoohnonotagainohno#(healing factor or no a few direct shots to the brain stem/t box take a bit to recover from)#(no more than five minutes but it's an eternity to logan)#and his heart sinks to the very core of the earth as he kneels down next to wade's body#and his hands are shaking and soaked in blood and he can't seem to sheathe his claws in his dazed adrenalined state#he tries to peel back wade's mask and fear is just *pounding* through his system because in that moment#all he can see are the xmen dead in massive pools of blood#and that feeling of unreality is rushing over him like thiscantbehappeningthiscantbehappeningnotagainohgodnotagain#wade's still and unresponsive and there is so Much BLOOD (hard to tell how much is Wade's and how much is just on his hands)#and logan doesn't even realize he's crying until suddenly wade's eyes light up like a computer restarting#and he's smiling and gasping and joking immediately#“well howdy there hot stuff what did I miss?”#and then he clocks that logan is Not Okay#“... well gee willikers golly goddamn peanut 'twas only a flesh wound! no need to go all waterworks over lil ol me”#“you know it would take a helluva lot more than that to make me shuffle off this here mortal coil!”#“see all better I'm hunky dory peachy keen right as fucking rain”#“I mean cmon I can't have been out for more than five minutes so let's just go back to you being exasperated with my bullshit antics okay??#“...okay sugarboobs? snookums? babycakes?.... Logan?”#and they just sit there on the floor holding each other for a while#wade babbling and logan crying about everything he's lost and wondering distantly how he has come to care so much#about this blithering jokester in like barely a week#that the thought of losing him brought him crashing back to the worst memory of his extremely rough life#anyway that's enough tag mini fic lolol I'm having feelings about my own drawing I guess 😵#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine art
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just realized nobodies coming to save me
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Can we all give Mike Wheeler some understanding, please? I don't wanna hear your whiny ass say that Mike Wheeler isn't good enough for Will one more time, I WILL find your home address. (Directed)
"Will isn't 'head over heels' for Mike, he just has a crush" I'm sorry but did you have your eyes closed in the interview in which his actor explains how he's been in love with Mike since the first season?? Hello???
Mike Wheeler is a gay boy in the '80s. Mike Wheeler is dating a girl he doesn't love romantically to appear "normal". Mike Wheeler has seen several people brutally die in front of him. Mike Wheeler had to witness the disappearance and possession of his best friend. Mike Wheeler has dealt with thinking two people he cares about have died. Mike Wheeler is a boy who went through homophobic bullying. Mike Wheeler is a boy who had to save the world four times already.
MIKE WHEELER IS A BOY.
He dealt with all this bullshit at the VERY young age that is 12-15. You want to tell this kid he's a bad person for being stressed? He has so much on his mind at such a young age from literally all of that and you expect him to act rational? Peaceful? "Correct"??😭
You are literally stupid if you think that's the proper opinion. He is going through the same shit as the other characters, the only reason you don't get pissed at Will is because he internalizes his feelings, rather than kind of exploding (which is what Mike does). These are just different responses to trauma, dumbass. Sorry it doesn't look pretty for you, but that's not how it works.
Erm, have the day you deserve, I guess. Bye, chat.
#this is directed#at that one person who is always on my pinterest fyp#fuck you#you dont understand anything#just because Mike doesn't have the capacity to hold in everything he's dealing with doesn't mean he's a bad person for letting it out#it just means he's a teenager dealing with way too much bullshit for his age and doesn't have anyone to help him#because of that fact that everything he's dealing with is stuff he's ashamed about#he cant say ''hey im gay and having a hard time accepting myself'' becaue then people would know#no one is there to tell him that its okay#jesus christ#this is all reflective of how you'd deal with people in your own life too#you must be a pain in the ASS to be around#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#will byers#byler endgame#mike wheeler apologist#byler tumblr#st5#byler nation
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I know I keep asking this and you only answer when its anon but please please what is your opinion on Cross and a reference or full body comic. Please Anó I'm not trying to be bothersome but I'm balling by eyes out on your so few Cross drawings.
*Disintegrates*
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you didn’t see this sign (refer to no.4 in that post please) and this sign (read the full post)
Whether someone is on Anon or not isn’t in the equation when I answer an ask, I answer asks that I can answer easily way more quickly cause I already have that answer with me on the ready, other asks I take some time for reasons that I am not obligated to share
If I happen to only answer your questions when you’re on Anon, it’s merely a coincidence and nothing more
I find it hilarious cause I literally just got a friend’s opinion on which design I should go for Cross’ jacket just a few minutes before I got this ask
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I’m not some sort of machine that is able to bump out artworks or answers for asks as they come, have some fucking respect for my time and understand that when you send an ask, you’re talking to a human behind that fucking screen, and that doesn’t just go for me, but for every fucking blog on this hellsite
#it’s 7 am i’m not in the mood for this bullshit#and I read this while I’m at work too#cause y’know#i’m an adult that has responsibilities outside my online life yet somehow people can’t understand that#i find it wild how the only fandom that managed to break my very basic boundaries are the UT fandom#I’m not gonna be online for the rest of the day I’m so fucking frustrated and tired rn#maybe for the rest of the fucking week even#any and all Anons or off Anons asking for their shit to be answered will be immediately blocked moving forward#anothers ask
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hiiii i know you said you're not very good with headcanons but maybe... just maybe.... since everyone is having a conversation about inappropriate use of mutations... you could give us a few nsft hcs.... please.....
you cant just ask me for my nsft hcs anon you knooww im not good at these.. but i was daydreamin during class this morning so you can have LIKE. SOME semblance of something. below the cut (╯▽╰ ;; )
i dont think i need to jot down roleplay is integral to their sex life but i will anyway. we'll double this review with bdsm/bondage Also being significant (if that not just being an extension of the Roleplay bit. or rather their roleplay is a part of their bdsm--)
charles is the more vocal one between the two of them (but im greedy and despite erik Trying to keep himself under control i imagine he gets a lil more vocal the closer he is to coming anyway...)
Speaking Of Inappropriate Use Of Mutations we already talked Extensively about erik's but how does the crowd feel about telepathic threesomes. its like an h2o molecule but horny. bonus points for scenarios where charles gets to watch himself fuck erik first-class-emma-frost style (Double Bonus Points who's to say movieverse!cherik couldnt have been inspod from that moment huh)
More Inappropriate Use Of Charles' Mutation charles can control how fast/hard erik rides/fucks him
when charles orgasms he (mostly) unintentionally causes erik's to feel more intense alongside his own (bonus points charles can negate the feelings of the refractory period if they're up for another immediate round)
strip chess. its even sexier because in chess sometimes it's the best strategy to sacrifice a piece to advance (the question now is is the objective to win the game or to get naked faster ... curious ... could be both and win in the psychological-warfare department or something...)
eriks a lot more tender than probably expected. i know hes a lover at heart .... (but he will be rougher if that's what charles is looking for that night)
Such Scenarios usually being on nights charles is collared and gets to be eriks 'pet' complete with liberal pulling of the collar and name calling (or is it 'petname' calling Please Laugh)
on that note aftercare is Extensive: they're triple and quadruple checking to make sure the other one's alright, especially if their powers were involved
#nsft#ilke OBJECTIVELY this time do not look in here if you dont want to read semi-in-depth descriptions of old man yaoi sex#snap chats#keyword /this morning/ ive been thinking of this bullshit ALL DAAAAAAYY I NEED HEEEEELP <- but i dont want it#none of you look at me i sat here for an hour thinking of two old men fuckin and suckin when i have a paper due in the morning#its not a long paper and i can def knock it out in Max An Hour so dont worry but still....#this ask is evil cause now im stuck with images i cant draw at this time life is so cruel#i think i had more to say but i forget. too busy learning about math and HR Practices today ...#oh wait i remember: 'snap how does strip chess work' for every non-pawn piece you take off a piece of clothing ☝️#rules may vary but thats generally the idea#also i /could/ sit here and think of more because thats my fucked up superpower but i repeat i have A Paper i should attend to somewhat#after i answer some more asks ...... so i dont just leave the dashboard on. debauchery#if youvev read this far. please dont think me too lecherous (╯▽╰ ;;)
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