#fuck link shorteners

[cozyypyxils]

Hiii, ¿How are you?

Your pictures are sooo pretty, I wanted to ask you where did you get the phone from your last post??

Hope you have a lovely day🤗

hello! thank u sm, that's very kind of u <3 the phone is part of a set which can be found here, but the download link redirects you to a linkvertise page, and I'm pretty sure if you have antivirus you won't be able to get through, since the page is blocked on malvertising grounds (that's what happens in my case, at least), and none of my adblocking extensions bypass it smh. Linkvertise is also known to be a hellhole of maliciousness, so I'd highly recommend staying clear of it. I tried to find an alternative link for you, but had no luck...so here is totally definitely not at all a direct download link for the file!! stay safe! :)

[subbykittyboythoughts]

extended music ramble

i'm not the subgenre slob like some of my dnb contemporaties (go on DogsOnAcid and ask the difference between neurofunk, techstep, and technoid. it's like bisexual vs pansexual and has been going since 2003) but like. "midtempo" and "moombahcore" are 100% just slow electro house. moombahcore is already midtempo with a moombah beat (boom-kah boomkah) and influence, and midtempo is just electro but from 110-115 BPM. also, the kick is less often under the snare, unlike electro where it is almost 100% of the time. otherwise it's the exact same, stylistically and sound design-wise

now (since 2012) some people call electro at 110 "glitch hop" which i think is dumb because glitch hop is not electro! it has triplet-swung kick patterns with more modulated basses (lots of wobbling rather than a bunch of differently modulated basses) as well as often taking influence from other genres' chords and melodies, like jazz. there's also neuro hop, with less melodic but heavier basses. glitch hop could be anywhere from like 85-110 and just kinda FUNKS

[marsdemo]

"Many of the prohibitively long lists going viral on social media do the exact opposite of this strategic and impactful approach. They include hundreds of companies, many without credible evidence of their connection to Israel’s regime of oppression against Palestinians, making them ineffective." "Remember, all Israeli banks and virtually all Israeli companies are complicit to some degree in Israel’s system of occupation and apartheid, and hundreds of international corporations and banks are also deeply complicit. We focus our boycotts on a small number of companies and products for maximum impact."

the image & text above is pulled directly from the bds network's most recent article (november 5, 2023) which details exactly which companies are top-priority and being targeted right now.

on the consumer side, siemens, puma, carrefour, axa, hp, sodastream, ahava, and isreali produce are listed as companies to avoid.

for corporations and institutions, the targets include elbit systems, hd hyundai, volvo, cat and jcb, google, amazon, airbnb/booking/expedia, re/max, caf, chevron, hikvision, and thk security.

grassroots targets, which were not officially initiated by the network, include corps like mcdonalds, burger king, papa john's, pizza hut, wix, and etc. these boycotts are indeed supported — "all peaceful popular efforts, including boycott and divestment, to hold all genuinely complicit corporations (and institutions) accountable for supporting Israel’s grave violations of Palestinian rights are justified and called for".

please follow the targeted lists from the bds network instead of trying and failing to keep up with a nebulous & unsustainable boycott. click the link above for reasons why each listed corporation is being boycotted, as well as further resources to learn more and contribute.

McDonald's is giving out free fries.

Disney is giving out Disney100 cards.

Starbucks is giving out buy one get one frees.

Why? Because their stock prices are falling.

They are losing money because of the boycotts because we are not giving them more money to fund and support the genocide of Palestine.

They're scared.

So they're gonna do whatever they can to get that money.

Keep it up.

Make them cry.

We may not be able to get them all, but the ones we get oh they are gonna suffer.

[girlkisser13]

percy jackson nsfw headcanons

• percy can lose himself very easily in sex. he gets caught up in the sensations around him and the wonderful feeling of your touch.

• french-kiss lover, and fuck, he’s good at it. swiping his tongue against yours, licking the roof of your mouth, and sucking at your tongue as he pulls away from you, he does it all. he just loves to see you breathless with kiss-bruised lips.

• this man LOVES taking you from behind, his hands using your hips as handlebars. going rough and then slowing it down by pressing you deep into the mattress, his chest against your back, and his arms linked with yours.

• his stamina is off the charts. his demigod genes give him enough strength and stamina to go all night if he felt so inclined. he is very perceptive of your energy and will happily pull you onto his cock until you start to get riled up again.

• the two of you have makeout sessions to the kitchen to grab water or snacks in between rounds, he’ll even carry you to the bathroom.

• nothing, nothing, gets him riled up more than seeing his cum on you. he is addicted to the sight of his cum on your body. your stomach, on your tongue, face, chest— you name it, he loves it.

• he’s pretty well groomed. he keeps things clean and healthy to keep up a hygienic routine. shaving, waxing, or even trimming takes time he just doesn’t have when he’s busy fighting monsters.

• if he knows ahead of time he’s meeting up with you he will take the extra time to clean himself and trim to the best of his ability. sometimes he gets bored and will trim a triangle for your amusement.

• percy enjoys experimenting with things. he’ll try just about anything once, just for the shits and giggles.

• this man is such a tease. he’s constantly trying to rile you up in a situation where you know that you can’t have him yet. the frustration building up in your eyes while you shoot him the most venomous of glares greatly amuses him.

• he’ll give you an innocent grin, pretending he wasn’t just brushing his thumb— "accidentally"— against your clit when resting his hand against your inner thigh.

• percy loves receiving. he loves seeing you struggle to take all of him and make a mess of yourself. he’ll gather all your hair, so that it’s out of your face and grip it to encourage you through the experience. he’s not shy, he’ll happily kiss you with the taste of him still on your lips, praising you every time for taking him so well.

• he enjoys giving just as much as receiving. it’s his way of worshiping you and giving you immense pleasure by his mouth alone. he can get really into it so either ride the overstimulation, squirm and fight against his grip on you, or tug on his hair just to see him pull away with a disappointed grunt.

• percy is a SUCKER for quickies. he enjoys romantic, traditional sex as much as the next guy, but he will never turn you down when he’s in the mood.

• he just wants the quickies to be in a safe area because he doesn’t want to have to worry about protecting you while having an intimate moment— that will not stop him, however, from taking you behind a tree in full battle armor during capture the flag.

• percy isn’t the loudest person in the bedroom. he’ll grunt here and there with a rough breath, maybe a few groans if you really hit a sweet spot. otherwise his breathing is the main indicator of his pleasure.

• his breathes shorten and hitch with each new wave of pleasure. the longer he’s in the mood or the longer you two go on, the more he’ll lose himself in the pleasure and make the beautiful noises that only you get to hear.

• don’t underestimate the power of a quick handjob with this guy. something about it— quick, dirty, maybe with an undertone of constructed panic or need to hurry— makes his eyes roll back so easily.

[crushmeeren]

heyy idk if this is where we put requests but by any chance could you do the mha boys reacting to you putting on the pheromone perfume and you smelling hella good possibly resulting in something freaky ( denki, shinsou or bakugo) or anyone is fine🙏🏾

⋆⋅ I love this idea! I did twist this a bit, it’s basically the love potion “amortentia,” from Harry Potter but as a perfume. Why the fuck it’s so hard for me to shorten things down when I write, I have no damn idea. So here, have this. (.づ◡﹏◡)づ.

All characters aged up/18+. ❲ ̽ ⋆ FEM READER ̽ ⋆❳

⋆⋅ Between the ⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆ symbols are memories of reader and whichever character!

Thank you @pastelbakugou for helping me figure what to write for Shinsou. ( ˘ ³˘(◡‿◡˶)

⋆ ft. kaminari, shinsou, bakugou, todoroki ⋆

..⃗. master list link

The sickly sweet scent of vanilla ice cream infused with honey is what overwhelms Katsuki’s senses first when he leans in and hugs you in greeting. You squeeze him back just as affectionately and he’s in the middle of nosing at your throat when he’s hurtled back in time through his memories.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Katsuki mutters hotly. He’s trying, key word trying, to wipe the sweat covering his phone screen onto his tank top but it fails miserably, seeing as how his shirt is soaked fucking through. He’s more or less just smearing it around and he’s debating on just obliterating the useless piece of shit phone.

He curses whoever the fuck is up there and uses sheer willpower not to tear his hair out from the roots because of this scorching heat wave.

Finally, he’s able to read his latest message from you. It tells him to meet you at the ice cream stand nearby his patrol route on his next break.

Katsuki wipes the back of his forehead with a glove free hand, but it slides right across his sticky skin and then sweat drips into his other eye with a harsh sting and goddammit, he’s royally fucking pissed off now.

For your sake, he swallows his swelling rage and makes his way to you swiftly. The two of you have tried to make it a habit to meet a couple times a week when Katsuki has time during his shifts, he gets so busy that sometimes it gets hard to see each other as often as you’d like.

As always, his heart stutters when he lands a few feet from you. The tension drains from his shoulders even as he witnesses drops of sweat being flung off his jaw from the impact of landing and coloring the light gray pavement darker.

You look so, so pretty in your sundress and Katsuki’s stomach swoops when a sweet smile lights up your features. You reach out a cup of ice cream for him to try, teasing him for looking like he’s just taken a shower but he sticks his tongue out at you in retaliation and takes a bite of the treat. Katsuki practically moans when cool cream melts on his tongue. He feels infinitely better.

The sun beats down harshly on you both, but it brightens your eyes and the playful way you blow a coy kiss at him when you part ways leaves him with fingers crunching the empty cup and pants that fit a bit too snug. God, he’s disgustingly in love with you.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆

“Kat?” Your concerned tone brings him back to the present. Katsuki can’t stand another minute with your clothes on and hauls you up with a rough grip to the backs of your thighs. You yelp in surprise and scramble to hold onto his shoulders as he strides towards your bedroom.

“I don’t know what the hell you did to smell this way, but you’re gonna keep your eyes on me and I’m fuckin’ you until you pass out. Understood?”

How could you ever hope to say no?

When you’re both naked and tangled in the sheets, Katsuki pushes one of your legs to your chest, curls his fingers around your throat, and pushes his forehead against yours as he stretches your tight pussy out completely with his thick cock. He stays true to his word, hand gripping your jaw and forcing your eyes to stay locked with his own ferocious stare when you grit your teeth and cum.

Then he kisses your forehead afterwards when you’re fast asleep.

Muscle memory tilts Shouto’s head to the side as he leans closer to sniff you curiously, an adorable habit that he’s never been able to break when he wants answers to something.

“What is that?”

“What is what, Sho?”

“You smell like the end of a campfire. Why?”

You raise an eyebrow and saunter closer to where he sits at his desk, his office quiet with most heroes currently out of the building. You step around the corner of his desk and hop up on the edge to sit next him, feet kicking gently.

“That’s important to you? A campfire? Huh I would’ve thought you’d smell something like soba,” you comment with a shrug, half smile tugging at your lips.

Now Shouto’s thoroughly confused.

“I don’t understand. Why would you smell of soba? Are you alright?” Shouto sounds as deadpan as usual, if not slightly concerned. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans back in his chair, staring at you as if he could find the answer by checking out your body. It makes you laugh.

Animatedly, you explain to him about the new “perfume,” Mina let you try. Apparently, whoever wears it prompts the object of their affections to smell whatever scent is important/attractive to them. And suddenly Shouto gets it

“Oh, I see,” he says with an understanding nod. He can narrow it down specifically as to why you smell of a campfire on a cold night.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆

“Sho, are you sure we can’t just use your quirk to roast these marshmallows? It’s so much faster!” You protest halfheartedly, but you’re already stabbing one of the fluffy sweets with a stick, assembling a second one for Shouto.

“No. This will be more fun, I promise. I watched Touya-nii and the others do this once, it seemed as if they were very happy afterwards.” Shouto flicks his hand and fire shoots towards the pile of sticks, engulfing them until a decent fire roars.

This sobers you considerably, and Shouto sits down next to you, accepting the offering of marshmallow on a stick happily and oblivious to the depressing sentiment he just offered.

So, you roast marshmallows. You tease each other and laugh as you assemble the s’mores and then lean into Shouto’s left side to fend off the chill of the autumn night afterwards. The stars are brighter away from the city and Shouto has always enjoyed the quiet of the countryside. His heart is close to bursting from his chest every time you laugh and he blurts what’s on his mind.

“I love you.”

It comes out of nowhere and Shouto only feels nervous for a few seconds before you return his feelings. Shouto’s dragging you into the tent before you can blink.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆

In hindsight, at least to Shouto, he understands exactly why you smell like a campfire. With slightly rosy cheeks and a matter of fact tone, he recounts the memory for you and he’s sure his hair’s about to catch fire from the way you’re looking at him.

Without caring to lock the door, the two of you end up reliving part of that memory.

Shouto pushes you until you’re flat on your back on his desk, sliding your pants off and making sure your ass is on the edge of it. He drops to his knees and eats your pussy until your thighs squeeze his head.

And when you beg him to fuck you, he bends you over the desk and presses his cock inside you roughly. The snaps of his hips are frantic, and when there’s a knock at the door, all Shouto does is cover your mouth with one hand and keep going until you’re seeing stars.

“Denki!”

Said blonde whips around at the muffled call of his name. Denki feels his smile aching in the apples of his cheeks as he watches you weave through the crowd of people on the dance floor to get to him. You grin in return and wave warmly, which makes his pulse run overtime.

“Baby!” Denki almost squeals, yanking you in for a crushing hug when you get close enough. “You made it! I thought you got lost,” he says teasingly against your ear and you lean back to laugh and punch him in the arm. You crowd into his space once again so he can hear you but an overpowering and delicious scent of coffee and rain pushes up Denki’s nose.

He startles, head jerking back and brows shooting up. Your expression turns questioning but Denki cuts you off before you can speak.

“Holy shit baby, you smell super good. Like, fucking amazing! What are you wearing? It makes me want to rip your clothes off,” He says enthusiastically, tangling your hands together in the process.

“Oh! It’s this new perfume. Well, technically it’s not a perfume but honestly I didn’t think it would work! I assumed it was a scam.” You give him a run down of how it’s supposed to work and he suddenly comes to the realization of why you smell like coffee and rain of all things that could be important to him.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆

“Oww,” Denki whines, sticking his tongue out and fanning it quickly.

“Did you burn your tongue?” You bump his shoulder playfully, taking care not to spill your own coffee. “I told you it would be hot, it’s a latte Denki,” you scold him good naturedly, trying not to laugh. He pouts at you, blowing into the lid in hopes to cool it off.

“Well I didn’t expect it to be the surface temperature of the sun!” Denki protests, gingerly taking another sip and humming in contentment when he finds it’s cooled off enough to be drinkable. You laugh again, but then Denki almost runs into your back when you stop abruptly in front of the glass door exit.

“It’s raining! Shit, I didn’t bring an umbrella. How are we supposed to make it back to the station?”

Denki studies the way it’s pouring cats and dogs, before making a noise of triumph and pointing to a bench under an awning not too far away.

“We can go wait for a bus over there!”

You side eye him. “Fine, but if I spill my coffee, you’re buying me a new one.”

The two of you take off, and in true Denki fashion, he trips and spills his coffee everywhere. By the time you both make it to the awning, you’re both soaked to the bone and breathless from laughing.

“Here,” you offer Denki your coffee with a grin, water dripping from the ends of your hair.

“You don’t have to share baby, I’m fine.”

“Yeah, yeah I do. I love you, Denki.”

Your boyfriend short circuits.

“Dammit Denki! Those were the only two lampposts on this street, now I can’t see anything!”

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆

Denki blinks the memory away and spins you, pulling your back flush to his chest. His body is a long, lean line of muscle as he moves your bodies to the beat and murmurs in your ear.

“Let me take you home and show you just how well this perfume works on me, my dick is hard as a fucking rock baby,” Denki giggles, squeezing your hips when you shove your ass back into his pelvis.

The two of you abandon your friends quick enough to race home, stripping carelessly in your living room until Denki can bend you over the armrest of the couch. He guides his cock inside you unhurriedly, pushing until his pelvis is nestled snug to your ass.

A breathy moan escapes him, and then he’s fucking your pussy as if he could never get enough.

He never will.

Hitoshi’s exhausted when he gets home from work late that night. Being an underground hero is rewarding, but it certainly comes with its downfalls.

He closes the front door delicately and toes off his shoes by the door. It doesn’t take long for him to make his way down the hall and into your bedroom, a tiny half smile worming its way into his expression despite his bone aching weariness when he spots you sound asleep in bed. He pauses to stare at you for a moment.

Hitoshi then showers as fast as humanly possible before crawling under the blankets and curling an arm around your waist, tugging you close until he can nose at the back of your neck. You sigh in your sleep and smuggle closer into his embrace.

Hitoshi trails his nose down the side of your neck and he freezes once he gets to your shoulder. You smell….good. Insanely fucking good, and he can’t quite pinpoint the specific scent but it’s soft and warm and maybe even a little musky. It sends warm blood rushing south and his cock twitches with interest.

He wracks his brain and the only thing he can associate with the scent is your cat, Kiko, when she was a kitten and you first brought her home.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆

Hitoshi’s in the middle of playing a game when you return home that day, calling out for him to come to the living room for a second.

“Why?” He yells back. He’s just about to finish this round.

“Just come out here you dick!”

Hitoshi rolls his eyes, but is amused nonetheless by your slightly frustrated tone. He pauses his game and makes his way to where you wait, but stops in his tracks, lips parting in shock and eyes going wide when he sees what you’re holding.

You’re cradling an itty bitty, all black, fluff ball of a kitten in your arms. You grin delightedly at his shocked expression and hold her out almost as if you’re offering her to him.

“You wanted a kitten right? An all black one, like the one you had as a kid at Aizawa’s.”

Hitoshi manages to close his mouth and nod, cautiously reaching out to take the small creature and cradle her to his chest.

He…can’t believe you remembered. You remembered how much his cat had meant to him and went out of your way to find this kitten.

“Thank you,” he says softly, petting the purring kitten’s head with one finger. You step closer and do the same, scratching under her chin until she meows.

“What should we name her?”

“Kiko,” Hitoshi responds with no hesitation, glancing at you for approval and you smile back at him.

“I love it.”

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡⋆

Hitoshi blinks back to the present, the fond memory lingering at the edges of his mind. He remembers how his heart squeezed against his rib cage in the best kind of way that day and how he knew then he wanted to marry you.

“Baby,” Hitoshi whispers lowly as he kisses your cheek. You stir enough to lazily flip over and hum in question. “I love you, so much.”

“Mm, love you too Hitoshi,” you mumble, sleepy rasp coloring your voice.

Hitoshi bends down to kiss you sweetly, encouraging you to throw a leg over his hips and straddle his waist. He settles you on top of him and wiggles a hand between you to shove his briefs down, cock stiff since he first smelled you, and slides your panties to the side.

Your limbs are still laced and heavy with sleep when Hitoshi helps you sink down on his cock. You melt into his chest, face buried in his throat and arms locked around his neck.

He bends his knees and grips your ass to help you sensually ride him, rocking up into you at a leisurely pace until the warmth finally bubbles over the edge and you cum with a shiver and he follows right behind you.

When he asks you about it the next day, it all clicks into place when you give him the watered down version of how the “perfume” works.

He hums noncommittally before asking you to wear it again.

[sierrale8ne]

next part here

nsfw // 4.3k words, dom!paige, sub!oc, use of marijuana, tongue play, oral/face sitting, fingering, overstimulation, tribbing, use of vibrator, choking, slight degradation, dirty talk, fingering, filth tbh.

venus 🍒 3 attachments: 3 videos

venus 🍒 heard ur back in ct and i fucking miss you so come see me? we can do some more of this…

pherbo I’m omw pretty lady, I missed you too

By any and all means, Venus and Paige were not dating.

They never hung out outside of their hookups and most certainly didn’t text about anything other than free time, sex, boundaries, sex, weed, parties, and how could I forget: sex.

Or at least it started that way.

They had met through one Paige’s many teammates, during one of the many late nights where Venus fell victim to her side hustle and was supplying randoms on campus with some wonderful weed.

Paige wasn’t what one would call a smoker, but she dabbled in it from time to time (sure she was an athlete but she was also a college student); and one faithful night, when she found herself in dire need of a high she sent the girl a text. Except rather than only getting weed, she received what was probably the best head of her life. An orgasm so powerful she probably blacked out for a few seconds. It started a very deep and consistent sneaky link relationship. They both used one another for sex, and very shamelessly at that.

Venus sat at the barstools in her apartment after arriving back home from running some errands, her tattooed hand rolling a nearly perfect blunt. The humidity of the Connecticut heat causing her to only wear a thin, white, cropped tank top and some True Religion shorts. She didn’t think much of the videos she sent to Paige, she had been a tease the entire time the blonde was away, this was not her first time filling her messages with vulgar texts.

But Paige? She definitely cared.

The sight of the girl she so desperately craved with her legs spread in the drivers seat of her car. The 95° heat covering her body in a sheen of sweat as she trailed her hand underneath her shorts. Paige could assume that Venus was soaked, as the wet spot in her jeans practically gave her away. She was saying something nasty into the air, the microphone picking it up, but Paige’s eyes were simply glued to the screen. The second video, where her shorts had now been discarded and her pink cotton panties were pulled to the side; fingers lolling in and out of her dripping pussy. It nearly made Paige’s heart beat out of her chest.

And the last video was probably Paige’s personal favorite. It was a shortened clip from the last time they were together, nearly a month ago. Venus on all fours, tits bouncing, back arched, and her legs spread so wide as she got absolutely recked by the blonde and her strap. The video turned her on so bad she had to watch it again when she got in her car. She simply couldn’t get the image of her ass out of her head. To hear Venus moan out “Paige” along with repeated curses made her body heat up tremendously. Her girl, crying out her name, in their sex tape. It was unreal.

Paige was in walking into Geno’s office with Aubrey and Jana when the texts came in, it was a very close call and a blessing that they didn’t get a glimpse of the vulgar videos on her phone, and that she sported an air-pod in her ear.

After three long hours and practice had ended, Paige sped the entire journey to Venus’s home, rushing up her stairs before barging into the apartment. She kicked off her Nike slides with ease, before navigating the apartment she’d known very well and finding Venus seated in her kitchen.

“Did you lock my doo—”

“Shut up.” Paige cut her off, spinning the girl around in the stool she sat in and pressing her lips to Venus’s. Her lips tasting like strawberries and the slight smell of weed wafted to her nose as well. Venus’s tongue was soft, warm, and so wet. The girl practically salivating over Paige and the feeling of her soft lips.

Venus groaned against the blonde’s lips, snaking her hand to hold the girls slim waist while Paige’s wrapped around her neck squeezing it with her large hand. The feeling of their tongues clashing forcing a similar groan to come from Paige. The athlete pulled away, nearly whimpering at the sight of Venus and her swollen lips. The girl stuck her tongue out hungrily, Paige meeting it with her own, before sucking the muscle in her mouth. The scene so nasty and pornographic it had both of them falling apart into a puddle, arousal sticking to the insides of their thighs. Saliva had spread to outermost corners of their lips.

“You’re so fuckin’ fine. What the fuck?” Paige laughed, finally breaking their vulgar exchange and moving her hand from Venus’s neck.

“I don’t know if you’ve ever looked in a mirror.” Venus commented, turning her chair back around so she no longer felt so little under Paige’s gaze. She reached for the blunt she rolled bringing it to her mouth and lighting it. She took a few puffs, the feeling of the substance in her lungs relaxing her body almost instantly.

Paige took it from Venus’s lips, placing it between her own. “I gotta take a shower, V. We can finish this in a minute, aight, baby?” Handing the girl her blunt back.

“Do you have to?”

“Venus that’s nasty. I’m all yours when I get out.”

“Fine.” Was all she responded with, practically huffing as she shooed Paige off to her bedroom to get clean. Though she really didn’t care. Venus was so hungry for her she would’ve taken her right there in her kitchen, sweat and all.

She stayed put in her seat, her growing high making her needier and needier. Paige on the other hand, post shower, was getting dressed in the spare clothes she had left the last time she had paid Venus a visit;boxers and a grey hoodie, before mindlessly snooping around.

She had gotten a better look at all the framed photos that decorated her dresser, jaw slightly dropping when she saw the framed photo of Venus and herself clad in signature UConn navy cap and gowns. Paige in a white button up and dress pants, and Venus in a flowy white dress with white strap up heels. The pair matched in smiles as they stood by one another.

Paige had known that their original fuck buddy agreement had completely changed over the last nine months. Overtime, their scheduled hookups led to sleepovers, and weekend trips. They were no longer just hooking up, a different level of intimacy that had been achieved. It was scary, that all it took was a little lotta bit of sex, for Paige to fall harder for Venus, but she had her in a way that no one else did. She would be grateful for what she had.

The blonde girl kept snooping, before seeing the red vibrating toy that she didn’t know the girl owned, innocently sitting on Venus’s bedside table. She smirked, calling out for her and asking her to come to the bedroom before taking a seat on the edge of the bed; vibrator in hand behind her back.

Venus sauntered into her bedroom, looking as delicious as ever. The girl’s slightly toned abs on full display, and highlighted even more by the sweat that adorned them. A blunt between her clear polished fingers and her lashes falling heavy on her red eyes.

Paige didn’t have a kink for body mods per se, but she definitely was wildly attracted to the ones that adorned Venus’s body. The full tattoo sleeve on her right arm along with the piercing at her navel was one thing, and the dermal’s on her back drove her insane whenever she had Venus in doggy. But the blonde’s absolute favorite? The snake bites on her tongue. The feeling of the cool metal running across her neck, abs, and pussy was almost otherworldly. Paige fell speechless whenever she thought about it.

“Got some new jewelry, you like?” Venus asked, gesturing to her stomach. The silver butterfly jewelry decorated with three smaller diamonds, the way it dangled was mesmerizing.

“Always.” Paige responded. The girl’s voice was low, she was lusting over her like an animal. “I saw our picture on your dresser.”

The blunt made its way back between Venus’s lips. She smiled, picking up on the small blush that coated the girl’s ivory cheeks. “We look cute right?”

“We look like a couple.”

“That’s what my mom said when she saw it. Remind me to introduce you two.”

Paige was slightly taken aback, but she had to keep her composure. “You want me to meet your mom?”

“I mean, she’s met all my friends. I should probably introduce her to the one I’m around damn near everyday, right?” Venus shrugged, fumbling over her words as she searched her brain for some sort of reasoning. “Unless that’s too personal for us—”

“It’s not. I don’t mind.” Paige cut her off, nervously biting her lip.

The pair smiled awkwardly at one another, more matching grins adorned their features. Paige called her closer with her pointer finger, bottom lip still tucked between her teeth before clearing her throat.

“Um, I saw something else in here too.” She spoke, not giving Venus a time to respond before pulling the toy from behind her back. This is what she was here for anyways, sex. Not the flirting and nervousness that came with having feelings for her. “What you using this for? You know I’m a call away.”

Venus tried to hide the heat that came to her face, embarrassed that Paige had her favorite intimate toy between her hands. Though embarrassed, Venus’s current intoxication masked it well.

“I— well you were on the cruise, and—”

“Show me.” Paige spoke, slapping the toy into Venus’s palm and taking the blunt between her own fingers, taking a drag with a smirk. Even being underneath her at that moment, Paige still held so much dominance over the tattooed girl. She knew that, and always took advantage.

“Show you?”

“Uh huh. Show me how you fucked yourself when I was gone, V.”

Venus was under a spell. She did whatever Paige asked almost immediately. So she brought her hands to the hem of her tank top, letting the material drop between them. Her full tits made Paige’s mouth water, nipples hardened by the blonde’s strong gaze. Her shorts followed, shimmying them down her thighs. Left in her panties, Venus opened her legs slightly, showing off the wet patch between them before taking them off and letting them join the rest of her clothes.

Finally lying in bed on her back, Venus spread her legs to reveal her sopping wet cunt. Her clit swollen and covered in arousal. She turned on the vibrator, it was only on the lowest setting, but the feeling of it up against her clit made her let out a whine.

“I haven’t even touched you yet and look at how wet you are.” Paige cooed. “Missed me so bad you had to use this? I bet it didn’t even get you off like I do. Did it?”

“Mm, oh fuck. No, Paige—”

The nature of Paige’s words was something that made her feel even more pleasured. “I know it didn’t, baby. Turn it up a li’l more.” The athlete demanded, shifting her position to finally pull the black boxers off her hips and the hoodie off her body, leaving her in just a sports bra.

Venus followed her directions, turning it up a few more notches. “P-please, Paige, please.”

“What do you want, ma?”

“I-I wanna—fuck—taste you. I wanna taste you, P.” The girls voice was shakey. The vibrations on this low of a setting did nothing to soothe her desires, she needed something more.

“Yeah? Want me to let you eat my pussy? Cum all down your throat, right? That’s what you want? Want me to sit on your face, ride that pretty tongue you got?” Paige teased, straddling her waist.

Venus’s hips bucked against the vibrator, lip tucked between her teeth as she looked up at Paige. The athlete began slowly grinding her hips down against Venus’s abdomen, the snag of her clit against her piercing made her jolt.

“Answer me, V.”

“Shit, Yes! Please! I want you, want you on my tongue so bad, P.” Venus whined, desperate for any extra touch, any excuse to soothe her growing oral fixation.

Paige reached behind her, pulling the vibrator off Venus’s clit and tossing it nearby. She scooted her body up Venus’s torso before hovering her pussy over the girls face. Her eyes shifted growing darker.

Paige took the blunt from the nearby ashtray, grabbing the lighter as well and re-lighting it, sticking the substance between her lips and taking a few puffs. She was teasing. Slowly rotating her hips over Venus’s face as if to mock her.

“Stop fuckin’ moving.” Venus attempted to demand but it came out as a whimper.

Paige didn’t listen. Slowing her movement to brush her clit against Venus lip, a dramatized moan living her lips. Finally tired of the antics, Venus reached for the girl’s waist, pulling her flush to her face and attaching her cunt to her lips.

She was soaked. Her arousal effortlessly dripping onto Venus’s tongue and down her chin as the girl ate her out like a last meal. Paige’s moans coming out low and deep at the feeling of the cool metal on her tongue running through her pussy.

“Aww yeah, baby. Just like that. You’re doin’ so good.” Paige praised, her head slightly tipping back as she moved her hips faster.

Venus on the other hand had her thighs spread as she brought a hand between them. Paige’s groans and taste spurred her on more, she applied more pressure on her clit before slipping two fingers inside.

“You’re such a fuckin’ slut. I taste good?” Paige sunk a hand into Venus’s hair, wrapping it around her hand before lifting up so she could speak.

“Yea— m’ my God you taste so good.”

“Stick your tongue out, for me.” She asked, and Venus did so, allowing Paige to grind her clit on Venus’s piercing. She was growing breathless and Venus groaning against her didn’t help. “This what you wanted? Wanted me to put my pussy in your mouth, right?”

Venus reluctantly removed her fingers from inside of herself, dedicating her attention to making Paige cum. Her high spurring her on further, she was so desperate for the girl to cum on her tongue she would do whatever. Her fingers, coated in her own slick slipped inside the blonde’s pussy as she sucked on her clit. Swirling her tongue around the sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Imma cum, fuck, I’m gonna cum, V.” Paige whimpered, gripping the girls hair harder and tugging her closer.

Curling her fingers to hit that spot, Venus nearly melted away when Paige finally came on her tongue, broken moans and praises falling from the blonde’s lips went straight to her pussy. She was dripping onto her sheets. She didn’t stop pumping her fingers nor did she stop moving her tongue, still eating the girl out just a bit slower now.

When Paige had finished riding out her orgasm, she broke free of Venus’s grasp, reclaiming her spot straddling her waist. The blunt they were sharing was long forgotten, now tossed somewhere on the bed. Paige knew Venus would be pissed, so she just decided to make her forget.

She leaned over, tongue out as she licked her own cum off of Venus’s chin. Humming at her own taste and following that by connecting their lips.

The sloppy exchange seemed to be full of nothing but spit swapping. Maybe being high made them even nastier in this moment, but truth was they were also just feins for one another.

Pulling away sloppily, Paige doted soft kisses onto Venus’s jaw, before rising in vigor when she reached her neck. She sucked dark purple marks across the girl’s brown skin. Occasionally meeting the skin with a bite. Paige smirked, a dark chuckle leaving her lips. “M’gonna fuck the shit outta you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Show you why it’s just me. You don’t need that fuckin’ vibrator, you don’t need some other girl when you got me.”

Venus wasn’t clueless to Paige’s obvious possessiveness when it came to her and their arrangement. She wasn’t necessarily opposed to it. It was nice to have someone be protective over her in this way, she wouldn’t mention it though.

“It’s only you, P. You know that.” Venus panted.

Paige shot up, straddling Venus’s right thigh and letting the left rest on her broad shoulder. She rolled her hips forward, meeting the girl’s sloppy cunt with her own. She was so damn wet, arousal instantly dripping to her thighs.

“We’re never going this long without sex again.” Paige groaned, feverishly rutting her hips. The friction was a beautiful feeling, Paige had wondered why they didn’t have sex like this more often. The intimacy of being pressed against each other in such a manner was addictive, she wanted it all the time.

Venus was so sensitive that the touch had her legs shaking and stomach convulsing. She sat up on her elbows getting a better look at the mess between her legs. Her cunt glistening, the noise of their clits against each other bouncing off the walls.

Before getting to know the girl more personally, Venus never understood the overwhelming campus obsession with the blonde basketball player— from both guys and girls. But after a few conversations, which all shamelessly led to sex, she got it. Paige was a charmer. She knew just what to say and just what to do to have Venus falling for her apart for her.

“Such a pretty girl.” Paige mumbled, pulling her eyes off of where they connected and up to Venus’s flushed face.

Venus reached up to Paige’s covered chest, muttering slurries of, “take it off” until the blonde slowed her hips and pulled off her sports bra. Venus was happily met with the sight of the girl’s supple breasts, hardened pink nipples instantly being tugged on by Venus’s fingertips. “Go faster, fuck me faster. Please.” She whimpered, locking eyes with Paige’s blue ones.

“Fuck, V.” The blonde groaned, pushing Venus’s leg further back as she ground her hips faster. The stimulation at her nipples more than enough to make her let out another loud moan. “There ya go, chase it, baby. You got it, Venus.”

Her name fell from Paige’s lips so smoothly. She listened without a second thought, bucking her hips against Paige’s clit some more. The action of her leg being pressed against her stomach adding a different type of pressure there. Eyes rolling and moans free falling. Paige hadn’t heard her being this loud in quite some time, nearly screaming when Paige added more pressure in her movement.

She was hellbent on getting Venus to cum. She would work for hours if that’s what it took. Her head leaning back, letting more moans fall directly into the smoke clouded air. Paige’s hand grabbed hold of her neck, pushing her further into the mattress until Venus was whimpering at the sensation and they were both soaking one another and the sheets. “I’m not playin’. Keep—fuck—keep moving or I swear I’ll stop.”

“I can’t.”

“Yeah you can, ma. Just fuck me back.” Paige’s words were blending together, her dominance as present as ever, but it was still clear she was just as close as Venus was. “My dirty girl, you like it when I fuck you like this?.”

Venus’s tattooed hand reached to grip at her grey bedsheets as the other trailed to Paige’s slim waist. Her fingers gripping and guiding her a little too tight that bruises would definitely form in a few hours. “I love— I love it. So good, Paige.” She fought to keep her eyes open and maintain eye contact with the woman above her, but it was hard with her orgasm approaching.

Nothing could stop the whines and whimpers that left her mouth as Paige sloppily continued fucking her, the blonde’s orgasm nearing as well.

“I’m gonna cum, P. Don’t fuckin’ stop!”

“Cum all over me, mama. Want it so bad, wanna feel you cum. Please, give it to me.” The blonde panted, sweat dripping down the bridge of her nose. “Ah shit, V, please.”

Their bodies nearly shattered as their orgasms rushed through them like a wave. Paige’s nails dug into Venus’s thigh as she stilled. The marijuana lacing their veins made it ten times more powerful, Venus’s eyes rolling back as she covered Paige’s cunt in her cum. “Oh my God…” Paige gasped, bringing a hand down between their legs and running her hand through Venus’s folds and collecting the mixture of their cum on her fingers.

“You’re so nasty—”

She was cut off by the blonde’s lengthy fingers slipping into her mouth, catching her by surprise but she welcomed them eagerly. Venus’s tongue swirling around as their creamy arousal coated her tongue. Paige’s other hand dipping between her legs again and prodding at her hole before sliding in.

“Can I keep fucking you, baby? Please?��� Paige rambled, voice hoarse from her post orgasm state. Her fingers drove into Venus with ease, toned arm flexing constantly had the girl in a daze.

Venus pulled Paige’s fingers from her mouth allowing her to finally moan out the way she wanted to. She was such a slut under Paige’s blue eyed gaze. “Oh my God!” She cried, the overwhelming feeling making her jaw fall slack. “Paige!”

“I wanna see your pretty face when you do it again, give me one more, ma.”

Paige’s fingers jabbed into that gummy spot again and again until Venus was gushing all over the sheets, letting out soft moans and whining chants of “ah, ah, ah!”

“Shh, just listen to how much you’re cumin’ for me.” Paige said, her hand, once in Venus’s mouth, now clamping over it and keeping it closed. “Wetting your bed up like the slut you are. You’re mine though aren’t you, baby?”

Screaming out into Paige’s hand, Venus came again, tears staining her cheeks and cum staining her thighs as she nodded at Paige’s words. Her cum spilling around Paige’s fingers, the white ring around those knuckles made Paige’s eyes turn to hearts. Paige was right: her vibrator couldn’t come close to giving her the orgasms she just did. Her breathing erratic and eyes fluttering shut as her legs trembled.

“P-Paige, it’s— s’too— fuck! Stop! Too much.” Venus whimpered, eagerly clawing on the blonde’s strong bicep with one hand, and attempting to push her fingers out with the other. But Paige kept going, slowing down her fingers just a bit but still applying crazy pressure to Venus’s clit.

“You’re mine. You hear me? This pussy is mine. Nobody gonna ever make you feel the way I do.”

“I’m yours, P! I promise— holy shit i’m gonna cum.” Venus cried, her stomach convulsing and eyes squeezing shut. “Paige, please. I can’t.”

“Look at me.” The blonde asked, spreading the girl’s legs wider and Venus came one more time, jaw slack as she had no more moans to give. Her legs shut almost immediately and Paige smirked at the girl underneath her. She had effectively proven her point all while making the girl of her dreams drift off to cloud nine.

Reluctantly, Paige pulled out her fingers before feeding them into her mouth and sucking them clean. The sight forcing multiple groans from Venus under her.

Tears staining cheeks. face all flushed out and bloodshot eyes now even more red (if possible). Paige looked down at Venus in admiration, she was the only one to ever get her to cum like that: and she took great pride in it.

“I want a kiss.” Venus voice now gone from all her screaming. She spoke softly, not really knowing how else to subtly ask her partner for a kiss, so she opted for being very direct.

“Oh, I’m sorry, baby.” Paige apologized, wiping the remaining tears from Venus’s cheeks. “Can you say please?”

Rolling her eyes, Venus smiled. A short “please” escaping her mouth. Paige happily leaned into her, removing her legs from in between Venus’s and hovering over her. The blonde placed a soft kiss to her lips, their tongues almost instantly meshing together. Venus moaned at her taste on Paige’s lips, sloppily kissing her back in an attempt to catch her breath as her legs hooked around the athlete’s waist.

“Aww, you like how you taste?” The blonde chuckled.

“Shut up. Freak.” Venus was too fucked out and definitely too high to keep up. She pulled away and nestled her head into Paige’s neck, wrapping her arms around the girl and lazily flipping them over to straddle her. “I’m yours, huh? Sounds awfully relationship like to me.”

“Are you complaining?”

“I-I don’t know.” Venus admitted, “I like it when you’re possessive, even though you pretend you’re not. You’re obsessed with me.”

Paige adjusted her head to look up at Venus rather than her body, her eyebrows furrowed. All the words she wanted to say: I want to be with you, I need you, I love you, all suddenly getting stuck in the back of her throat. “Maybe I am.” She decided to respond with. “Crazy ‘bout you, I can’t lie.”

Venus hummed, slightly nodding her head as she looked at her, unable her growing blush. “I might be crazy ‘bout you too, P.” Her fingers traced over the hickies she’d left across the ivory skin. “We made such a mess.” Venus laughed, briefly changing the topic.

“We can clean it up later. I wanna cuddle.”

“Paige—”

“No.”

“—This bed is filthy, and I need to shower, and we said no more sleepovers.”

“Just ten minutes, Venus.” Paige wined, pulling Venus to lay down next to her, her blue eyes drinking in all of Venus’s glory— somehow finding her even more gorgeous in her fucked out state. “I’ll be outta your hair after, I promise.”

“Five minutes. That’s it.”

“I’ll take it.” Paige mumbled, draping her arms around Venus warm body and shutting her eyes as she rested her head on Venus’s shoulder.

It was not only five minutes and Paige definitely did sleep over again.

authors note this is my first time posting on tumblr, so hopefully you guys enjoy it. i’m thinking of making this a short series maybe 3-4 parts (mostly all smut, freaks) i have a part two in my drafts, so lmk if you want some more of pherbo and venus! (i imagine venus’s fc to be @/killmarni iykyk she’s so bad 😮‍💨)

[fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic]

All Explicit Fic Recs: Alphabetically Sorted A-L

Note that most summaries in this list are shortened. Each link will lead to the fic's rec page where you can get full details, summaries, and links to read each story.

[Explicit M-Z collection] [Teen-Mature A-Z collection]

32 Questions That Lead To Love by ffonippop (32k, Explicit) Okay, fine. Crowley was 32-Questions-That-Lead-To-Love-ing Aziraphale. Sue him.

A Bathhouse Pretense by DoonaRose (17k, Explicit) Aziraphale seeks Crowley out in 38 BC Rome, finding him in a bathhouse which just so happens to be hosting an orgy.

A Billion Points of Light by akitsuko (50k, Explicit) Crowley has never been one for the whole ‘love at first sight’ business, but he may need to reassess after Aziraphale - a gorgeous firefighter - saves his life.

A Guarantee and Not a Promise by voluptatiscausa (16k, Explicit) But, God, it’s hard. It’s hard to be humble. It’s hard to stand here and remember that nothing is promised, that what he and Crowley have may be broken irrevocably. He just can’t seem to make himself believe it, not when Crowley’s love feels just the same as it always has.

A Little Life by GaiasEyes (71k, Explicit) When Professor of Botany Anthony Crowley met bookshop owner Ezra Fell one November afternoon both knew their lives had irrevocably changed.

A Tricky Situation (Entirely of his own making) by sixbynine (35k, Explicit) [Aziraphale's] been teaching at King College London for a long time now thank you very much and he does not take kindly to new Professors being sprung on him suddenly.

affection and other cravings by JustStandingHere (29k, Explicit) an examination vis-à-vis food and forgiveness

amaretto by goosewriting (67k, Explicit) Everything changes for [Aziraphale] when a unique occult relic falls into his hands and loops him into a contract with a mild-mannered (if a bit snarky) demon named Crowley.

angel and ash by ineffabildaddy (5k, Explicit) Crowley and Aziraphale’s attempts at physical intimacy through the ages have always been stilted, awkward and anticlimactic… but in this moment, Crowley is drawn even more strongly to Aziraphale than usual, and Aziraphale feels the same about Crowley.

because thinking makes it so by NaroMoreau, summerofspock (41k, Explicit) It’s supposed to be an exchange. An arrangement. Something to make them both feel better and less lonely. But Crowley’s never had the brightest ideas.

Big Name Feelings by ghostrat (100k, Explicit) Crowley is a BNF fic writer, and Aziraphale is a lurking artist who might be just a little parasocially in love with him. How they ever became friends is beyond him, but here they are

Bleating Hearts by HKBlack (186k, Explicit) Trip on over to Devil Doe’s Dairy and Goat Scaping Farm, where the cheese is always smooth, the goats climb roofs, and true love might just be around the corner.

Boyfriend Debut by snae_b (20k, Explicit) It’s fucking on camera. It’s not that complicated.

By Any Other Name by Tartan_Temptation (18k, Explicit) as the reality of his… situation hit him with all the gentleness of a punch to the face. He gripped the sides of his sink and looked his reflection in the eyes. You are a sugar baby. You have a sugar daddy. Crowley is your sugar daddy.

Can’t Fight Back, But I Can Take It by voluptatiscausa (10k, Explicit) …in those early years, when Crowley would slide a hand between his legs for some relief, the scenes in his mind showed an Aziraphale who gave Crowley what he wanted, yes, but gave it as a favour. As a punishment

Closer to You by TawnyOwl95 (44k, Explicit) Since his wife divorced him, A.J. Crowley makes good money writing romance novels. Sexual psychology student and cam worker Aziraphale enjoys understanding pleasure. But only from a safe distance. He’s too busy working on his PhD to fall in love.

Collaborative Activities by scullyphile (12k, Explicit) While on a corporate retreat, estranged co-workers Aziraphale and Crowley get teamed up together. They encounter something on their hike, something that brings a buried desire to the surface and transforms it into an unquenchable lust.

Come as you are by hiya_angel (4k, Explicit) “This is perfect, but I’m not… I don’t have…” Aziraphale blushed brightly, avoiding Crowley’s gaze, and suddenly Crowley understood. “Oh, angel, are you trans?” Aziraphale sniffed and nodded.

creature of mine by ineffabildaddy (21k, Explicit) Aziraphale buys Crowley a snake plant, hoping to please Crowley with the appealing smell of its flowers. Its effects on Crowley are far more extreme than Aziraphale anticipated, and it’s down to him to face them head-on.

Crowley the Camdemon by seashadows (58k full series, Explicit) Aziraphale discovers that Crowley satisfied his loneliness in the previous decade by posting intimate videos of himself online - videos that Aziraphale himself was never meant to see.

Despite Knowing Better… by ineffabildaddy (10k, Explicit) After the Ineffable Divorce, Aziraphale and fem!Crowley can’t stop fucking. They’ve laid out some ground rules, but, of course, they can’t help breaking them…

Doubt Thou The Stars Are Fire by Princip1914 (31k, Explicit) “Oh God,” Aziraphale said to the empty bookshop, pouring himself another drink, “Oh, Lord, tell me, if we had been humans together...Would we have fallen in love? Are you listening lord? If you hear me, give me a sign, please, I beg you.”

Dreaming of You by TawnyOwl95 (36k, Explicit) AJ Crowley likes helping people discover and heal the neglected parts of themselves. Even if that’s only for their scheduled session. He likes being a sex worker, although he’s started to dream of some genuine intimacy.

Epistolary by imposterssyndrome (93k, Explicit) Crowley discovers Aziraphale’s personal diaries. What starts as some light reading about the 14th century... slowly turns into something *much more* complex.

Exalt by hakunahistata (2k, Explicit) “Ooh, aren’t you brilliant,” that voice rumbles with the tonality of jest and slitted eyes that gleam gold...“Actually, I–I think getting us all in the cellar was very clever,” is what he says. Do you really think so? is what he doesn’t.

Fakes and Forgeries by Solimette, WaldosAkimbo (156k, Explicit) Aziraphale, a very competent art conservator who specializes in oil paintings...He is hired...to hunt down this forger, who had duped wealthy folks out of millions for recreations of van Dyck and Rubens paintings. They team up with Anthony Crowley, who has worked the circuit selling paintings and might have a clue on who is forging them (maybe because he’s the artist they’re looking for).

Falling For You by TawnyOwl95 (37k, Explicit) Anthony Crowley works too hard. The answer...might be a high-end escort who sells the fantasy of a relationship. Aziraphale has just nudged his way past thirty. He’s facing burnout and wants to get out of the business, but the thrill of a new client might be just what he needs to get some of his passion back. It seems like a convenient arrangement, until they both realise it’s not enough and they want something real.

For Loving One by TheScholarlyStrumpet (64k, Explicit) Father Fell has been living a quiet life in a small parish. Despite the looming fear of war, he thought he was content with his small pleasures. Until a mysterious stranger comes to town, turning that life on its head and awakening desires the Father thought he buried long, long ago...

How My Light is Spent by Azira_Amane (19k, Explicit) Navigating the dating world when you can’t see it can be tricky. For Crowley, that was never a problem; he’s usually too busy to contemplate a relationship. The same goes for Aziraphale, though he doesn’t have Crowley’s excuse - he just isn’t really all that much into people as a whole.

Hunger by AppleSeeds (87k, Explicit) Crowley is delighted when his next assignment as a Teaching Assistant involves helping to run Eco-Lit seminars with the hottest professor on campus, and even more so when Professor Fell seems quite receptive to his flirting. He's literally getting paid to ogle Aziraphale and listen to him read poetry, what could possibly be better than that?

I Will Get Up Now And Go About The City by drawlight (ripeteeth) (30k, Explicit) This is the story of six-thousand years and a borrowed jacket. (A tale told in vignettes.)

I’m Beginning to See the Light by ineffabildadddy (15k, Explicit) Aziraphale has quite the pash on his colleague Crowley, who seems resolutely disinterested in him. As their annual Christmas party progresses, it appears that Crowley may not be as disinterested as Aziraphale first thought.

In The Room Where You Sleep by ghostrat (27k, Explicit) “It’s a nice idea,” Crowley chirped, grinning a little wider and making the butterflies in Aziraphale’s stomach flutter a little harder. “Except for the part where, you know, monsters aren’t real.”

in your own time by ineffabildaddy (33k, Explicit) After almost twenty years spent away from his hometown, renowned botanist Crowley decides to come and visit Tadfield again at a moment’s notice; the purpose of his visit is to speak at a Careers Day for the school he and Aziraphale, now a beloved priest and a frequent helper at the school, attended. The twenty-four hours that follow will change both of their lives for ever.

It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine by Dervila and elf_on_the_shelf (63k, Explicit) After Adam’s parents die in a car crash, Aziraphale is forced to start taking care of him as more than just an uncle. Don’t get him wrong, he loves the little devil, it’s just that he is completely clueless and could rather use some help.

It’s Not the Fall (It’s the Landing) by Ginger_Cat (66k, Explicit) To save each other from Heaven and Hell, Aziraphale and Crowley become human. Things, predictably, do not go as planned.

Just Up the Stairs by foolishlovers, ineffabildaddy, omens_for_ophelia (39k, Explicit) On Valentine’s Day, amidst the chaos of handling work and university deadlines as a mature student, Crowley seeks solace with his neighbour Aziraphale. As they share a meal, their long-standing friendship begins to unravel, revealing hidden feelings they’ve harboured for six months. It’s a night that could change everything.

Like Best Friends Do by LittleLynn (21k, Explicit) As usual, Crowley had decided to open his mouth before thinking about what exactly it was that he was about to let spill forth from it. As a result of this, unsurprisingly, he was now in a spot of hot water. Boiling water. Possibly water so hot that it had gone ahead and become some kind of pyroclastic steam.

litany in which certain things are crossed out by Ayes (30k, Explicit) A beaten-down Aziraphale opens a bakery in the small town of Tadfield, where he finds an all-night greasy spoon and one fallen Crowley, who is making amends through various and increasingly ridiculous means of community service

Long Haul by snae_b (68k, Explicit) Anthony Crowley might have gotten out of Missouri, but he hasn’t escaped his past. He wears it like a cloak. When he crosses paths with a guardian angel, he starts to learn how to shed it.

love not given lightly by hakunahistata (3k, Explicit) When Aziraphale Fell met Anthony J. Crowley a little less than a year ago, several things were apparent instantly: he was gorgeous, he was angry, and he was very assuredly fine.

[Explicit M-Z collection] [Teen-Mature A-Z collection]

[tales-from-syscord]

I believed this happened a couple of years ago? But I'd thought it was a very peculiar experience for me to share.

So, I used to be in this traumagenic server with what seems like a lot of blacklists and claims to be POC friendly. It was one of our few DID/OSDD focused discord servers that we joined when we first suspected we have DID. (We got diagnosed a year later.)

I remembered being in a ticket with one of the mods because they looked at the names of our alters through pk. They then LITERALLY did some google research on the name origins and made it something like this.

" Hi! We noticed your names may be considered cultural appropriating blablabla

Casey = Irish

Ari = Jewish

Please consider changing your names!"

And then had the nerve to even ask me what my race is, but I felt so uncomfortable?? I said Asian. They want me to specify further. I said Southeast Asian. And if my memory serves me right, they wanted me to specify more than that.

When I looked at that message where I had to change my own and my alter's names, I felt like they were JOKING?? HOW IS CASEY A CLOSED NAME??? It's.. a generic name used by pretty much everyone in the world.

They mentioned how Irish is a closed culture, and I think they mentioned Irish discrimination during the US immigration and all. I understand, but at the same time, Irish itself isn't a closed culture at all?? Not to mention, I've been using Casey as my name for quite some time now.

Ari being linked to Jewish makes no sense to me either. People sometimes use it to shorten the name 'Ariana' for short, but I also see many non-Jewish people also using that name too.

Ari is an alternative spelling of our body's name, so we don't feel weird using our irl body's name (which is Arabic) to the people online. It's not a sense of shame of the body's name but more privacy concerns, easier pronounciation, and having our own individuality.

It's worth mentioning that a lot of Muslim and Christian names are derived from Judaism, too. The Muslim and Christian names just have a different spelling to it, so I don't know what the hell they were thinking.

I felt so mad and felt this was all too ridiculous. I had to keep my cool and leave because what kinda server is this??? That claims to be POC safe?? I'm sorry if I don't sound the most open-minded, but it's just a weird experience to me, really. When I think of cultural appropriating, I would think of taking a name from, let's say, a Romani name or a Tamil name, and then use it without realizing the significance of that culture just because it looks pretty for some aesthetic. Not whatever tf this server was pulling.

As an Irish system, what the fuck?? Casey is definitely not a "closed culture Irish name," LMAO?? You're not overreacting DW anon, that's just wild.

[igetthedisneybox]

Addams Family/ Wednesday OC's for Halloween

When I was a kid, I always just kind of...assumed that Wednesday had cousins named after the other days of the week.

So here are some OC's based on the poem that Wednesday's name is from. (I gave them different names than the days)

Belladonna Carmilla Angelo Addams

She is based on the first line, "Monday's Child is Fair of Face"

Her face claim is TajFaerie (linked to her instagram)

Her name means "beautiful woman" and is the name of a toxic plant

Her aesthetic is Victorian Goth

Her favorite color is blood red

She is a year older than Wednesday

She loves fashion, and expressing herself through said fashion

She is a hopeless romantic, especially for tragic love stories

She's very over dramatic, and treats personal matters with great importance

She'll sometimes speak in French of Italian, just so nobody else can understand her

She can be jaded at times, especially when it comes to holding grudges

She likes classical music, love ballads, alternative pop, and pop punk

One of her mothers is a vampire, so while she isn't one, she participates in vampire culture, such as drinking animal blood, avoiding sunlight and garlic, etc etc

She fell in love with Bianca Barclay at first sight

She's related to Wednesday on Gomez's side.

Odile Lilith Frump

She is based on the second line, "Tuesday's Child is Full of Grace"

Her face claim is Elle Fanning

Her name means "heritage" and is the name of the black swan in Swan Lake

Her aesthetic is a mix of Circus Freak and Dark Ballerina

Her favorite color is vomit yellow

She is the same age as Wednesday

She's run away to join the circus twelve times, and they send her back every time

She has joint hypermobility, which means she can move like a horror movie ghost. Which she does. To freak people out

She's a prankster, and just loves to fuck with people

She's very family-oriented. You fuck with one Addams, you fuck with them all

She likes alternative music, music box covers, circus music, and classical ballet pieces

Her passion is dancing, but she also enjoys knife throwing, tightrope walking, and other acrobatics

She's a fan of revenge and punishment, just like her cousin

She's related to Wednesday on Morticia's side.

Victoria "Ick" Elvira Addams

She is based on the fourth line, "Thursday's Child Has Far to Go"

Her face claim is Mackenzie Foy

Her full name means "victory," but the shortened form (her preferred name) is a sound of disgust

Her aesthetic is Punk Rock

Her favorite color is ooze green

She is the same age as Wednesday

She has a band with her brothers and sister, where she's the lead guitarist and singer

She's very level-headed, calm, and just generally chill to be around

She takes matters of social justice very seriously, and has a police record (she has it framed in her dorm)

She likes punk music (duh) but also dabbles in rock, heavy metal, 80's, 90's, and alternative

She's aromantic, but not asexual

She was adopted by the Addams when she was six. She wandered into their house one day and just...never left

She butts heads with Wednesday the most out of all the cousins

She's related to Wednesday on Gomez's side.

Briar Winter Addams

She is based on the fifth line, "Friday's Child is Loving and Giving"

Her face claim is Isabela Merced

Her name means "thorn," and is a reference to the Sleeping Beauty fairytale

Her aesthetic is Dark Fairytale

Her favorite color is dusk purple

She is a year younger than Wednesday

She has narcolepsy, and suffers from excessive sleepiness, fainting spells, and muscle weakness

She likes to brew antidotes for venom and poisonous plants, just in case

She likes to see the best in almost everyone, and those she can't, she poisons (mostly non-fatally. Mostly)

Like Bella, she's a hopeless romantic, and dreams of a knight in shining armor who will sweep her off of her feet

She likes creepy lullabies and alternative pop

She gives dried and dead flowers to people when they're sad

She loves moths

She's asexual, but not aromantic

She has a crush on Xavier Thorpe

She's related to Wednesday on Gomez's side.

Shelly Frump

She is based on the sixth line, "Saturday's Child Works Hard for a Living."

Her face claim is Yasmin Finney

Her name means "clearing," and is a reference to Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein

Her aesthetic is Dark Academia

Her favorite color is midnight blue

She is a year younger than Wednesday

She's part giant, and is almost six feet tall

She takes her schooling very seriously, and refuses to miss a day of class

She's a living factoid machine, and knows a little bit about everything

She feels like her parents prefer her older sister, Mary, and so is very insecure

She likes lo-fi beats to study too, classical music, and 80's and 90's alternative

She's very shy, and doesn't like talking or interacting with people much

She is very good at mind games. She can fuck you up mentally

She and Eugene Ottinger are a little too close to be regular friends

She's related to Wednesday on Morticia's side.

Zander Adams

He is based on the seventh line, "But the Child Born on the Sabbath Day, Is Blithe and Bonny and Good and Gay."

His face claim is Omar Rudberg

Her name means "defender," and is the name of an actual Addams Family member, mentioned in the animated movie

His aesthetic is Grunge

His favorite color is fire orange

He is a year younger than Wednesday

His mother changed their last name from 'Addams' to 'Adams' to differentiate themselves from the family

He was raised as a normie, and any outcast (or autistic) traits he showed were punished

He and Briar were very close as small children, as their fathers were blood brothers

He starts off disliking his cousins and the other outcasts, but realizes that they are more welcoming and understanding than his mother

He likes alternative, 80's, 90's, and punk

He ends up having a thing for Tyler Galpin

He's related to Wednesday on Gomez's side.

[letaot-ze-magniv]

General guide to birds in Israel pt 2- cooler birds

This will be a long post. Link to part 1

White spectated bulbul/bul-bul me-mush-kaf

Usually referred to as just bulbul, this bisexual king is the roundest and my most favourite bird. IMPORTANT! BULBUL MEANS DICK! DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR LOVE FOR BULBULIM IN PUBLIC!

These birds are slightly larger then the house sparrow and are easily distinguished by their yellow butt. Their calls are reminiscent of frogs. They mate for life and are all bisexual and they cuddle each other. They are a menace to farmers because they are fond of fruit and tend to nibble just a little at a time. You can find them in all parts of Israel as long as there are nice trees nearby.

Eurasian blackbird/shakh-rur

These timid birds like to hide in bushes and trees. Their calls are beautiful and I love them. They are smaller then a pigeon. The males are black and the females are brown. They feed on seeds, fruits and bugs, and use their beaks to search the ground for worms. You can find them in Jerusalem and the north, they like cool weather and don’t fuck with sand.

Great tit/yar-ge-zi ma-tzui

Life isn’t easy for these tiny psychopaths, which might be the reason they developed such a temper. Their Hebrew name translates to “angry one”, and for a reason. They are very aggressive towards other birds. They also feed on the brains of bats. You can distinguish between males and females by the thickness of the black stripe on their belly- males have a thicker one than females. They are most common to the north of Jerusalem, but you can find them in some parts of the desert.

Palestine sunbird/tzu-fit bo-he-ket

No, that’s not a hummingbird, it’s the sunbird! Despite their remarkable likeness they aren’t even a little related. Sunbirds feed on nectar and are pollinators! The males have black feathers that shine in the sunlight (which is how they got their name) and the females are a muddy grey, but they’re just as lovely. You can find them in all parts of Israel, especially near lush flowery areas!

White wagtail/nakh-li-e-li la-van

First migrant bird everyone!!! (Some blackbirds migrate here but some nest during summer so shhhh) This lovely round bird starts it’s visits around October and leaves when it gets hellishly warm again. Due to global warming the wagtails visits are shortening, so appreciate them while you can. Like their name suggests, the wagtails wag their tails. A lot. You can find them near water sources during the cold-ish months of the year!

Eurasian jay- or-va-ni shkhor ki-pa

Eurasian jays can be found in other parts of the world, but I’m pretty sure the one we have in Israel is a different sub-species because the ones in Europe lack the beautiful black top that they’re named after.

The jay is a type of corvid, and in addition to being extremely social and intelligent, these birds can mimic other animals. Due to urbanisation, the jays learned to mimic car alarms, the ringing of phones and the cries of human babies. Jays are extremely fond of acorns, and burry them in the ground in preparation for harsher months. A single jay can remember between 4000 to 5000 hiding spots!

Syrian woodpecker/ na-kar su-ri

This picture is of a male woodpecker. The females have a completely black head. Woodpeckers can locate bugs that have burrowed inside trees and use their beak and long tongues to eat them, thereby helping the trees get rid of pests! Woodpeckers also love acorns, and compete with jays over them. To prevent concussions, the woodpecker’s tongue wraps around their brain, keeping it in place while they peck. You can find them in non-desert areas of Israel!

Lesser whitethroat/siv-khi to-kha-nim

Another migrant birds! These floofballs come here twice a year, once in spring and once in autum, although some whitethroats nest in the north all year long. During their migration you can find them everywhere in Israel, even in very urban areas! They get their Hebrew name, which roughly translates to miller’s shrubbery-liker, because their white chests look how a miller’s apron would look after a long hard day!

Super winged lapwing/sik-sak

The siksaks are water birds with ridiculously long legs that they use to stab their prey. They kind of look like they are wearing a tux! Their original Hebrew name was “sharoni mezuyan”, which translates to “one that lives in the Sharon and is armed with a weapon” but also “fucking sharoni”. You can find them anywhere in Israel as long as there is a near enough water source.

White breasted kingfisher/shal-dag la-van kha-ze

One of my favorite birds. The kingfisher is a magnificent bird of prey with brilliant blue feathers that always make my day. They are most common in the north and west of Israel, but they nest in smaller numbers in the south. They kingfisher’s diet consists of not only fish, but of crabs, frogs, slugs, bugs, and even the occasional rodent. Their varied diet helps them thrive even in drier areas.

[foldingfittedsheets]

An FAQ!

Does your ask tag stand for "Folding Fitted Sheets" or "For Fuck's Sake"?

Both! I had been using the handle Foldingfittedsheets for a long time and someone shortened it to FFS and I immediately realized that it was hilarious. All ways of reading it are valid.

Before asking a bed question:

Here’s my helpful guide, I may have covered your question already. There’s also a “bed talk” tag full of info and advice!

Before asking a sex ed question:

Here’s my other helpful guide! Includes lube tips etc.

Can you actually fold a fitted sheet?

No. I thought it was a funny handle that was easy to say and hard to do. A metaphor for life being messy and complicated. A task that you can only ever try your best at although failure in inevitable.

When I moved in with my beloved I packed the linen closet and told them that I didn't know if we'd have enough room. They spent a day refolding everything beautifully and it took up a third of the closet. So some people are just built different.

Have you seen this guide on how to fold them??? It's easy!

I am content at my current levels of adequacy and would prefer to spend my time on other pursuits. Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm good.

Will you put a read more on comics?

No. I have tried to put out comics under read more cuts and they do not get the same traction. It's also unfair to ask me to change how I present my work. No one will ever have to scroll through them as much as me and I promise it's never more than 30 seconds which does not feel unreasonable.

Tumblr has a setting that will automatically shorten long posts, and I have provided a tag "do you love the color of the comic" so that you can take initiative to reduce the space they take up. You can also block the new individual comic tag after you’ve read it to stop seeing repeats.

Comics take months of my time to produce and I reblog them a lot when they first launch because I'm excited to share something that I worked really hard on.

I won't be offended if you unfollow me, but I will if you ask me to cater to your sensibilities on how long my art should be.

Will you reblog my mutual aid post?

I’m sorry, but no. If I don’t know you I don’t have the time to check for scams and Tumblr just really isn’t the best platform to ask for help if you’re in dire straits.

If you send a link to a gofundme I’m gonna block you. It’s not personal but I have no time to sift through what’s legitimate or not and I’ll assume you’re a scammer who did not read this.

Why don’t you have lesbian flags?

I prefer the rainbow and I have very negative connotations with it, which I talk about more here.

Why are all the ace flag creatures sleepy?

An ace friend loved the ace dragon in the first set and said, “It’s sleepy like my sexuality!” I thought that was very cute and when I did gryphons I made them sleepy too. I’ve since gotten a lot of really cute comments on how much people liked the sleepy ace creechurs.

When I went through and revamped the unicorns I noticed the ace unicorn wasn’t sleepy. I made a poll to ask if I should switch it to be consistent with the dragons and gryphons. It was an overwhelming yes so now all the ace creatures are sleepy.

[whumpofalltime]

friends, enemies, lurkers, we've made it to the

Whump Of All Time Finals!

What's the whumpiest whump of all time? Help us decide!

Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist and later match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter! Make sure you click through to the main blog to find the run-off poll to crown third place, as well!

ROTK:

(spider attack, rescue)

"The Lord of The Rings, when Frodo gets bitten by a giant spider and left for dead by Sam at the end of The Two Towers, and then when Sam finds him in The Return of the King being held prisoner and whipped by an orc."

The Young Blood Chronicles (Save Rock and Roll's music videos, Fall Out Boy):

(link)

"Everyone gets bloodied, bruised, beaten up, tortured, rescued, limbs are amputated - it's brutal. Alone Together is particularly strong."

sorry for being late, but you want YBC propaganda? then you're getting YBC propaganda. I know you're a FOB fan, but I will be writing this for the benefit of those who don't know what YBC is, for better propaganda purposes! and yeah this is gonna be LONG. sorry.

So! The Youngblood Chronicles (shortened to YBC) is a series of 11 music videos made by the band Fall Out Boy, for their album Save Rock And Roll (you know this album, it's the one with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark on it). The whole thing is quite short, less than fifty minutes long (even shorter if you don't count the uncut version's credits!!), and every single music video has some element of whump in it. This propaganda is gonna break down each individual music vid, and at i'll also talk a little bit about the irl context the album was written in, and why even THAT can be a little bit whumpy if you're insane like me!

(note: i'm going in the original release order over the uncut order, hence why i'm starting with MSKWYDITD instead of The Phoenix)

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark: Arguably the least whump-y out of all of them, but man, seeing all of Fall Out Boy's discography and memorabilia be burnt while people are dancing around the destruction? Man, when you know the real life stuff (the reception the band had in 2009, leading to them to take a three year hiatus)... and at the end, you see four guys bound in the back of a van!! And that van is getting burnt!! Burn everything you love and burn the... ashes.

The Phoenix: NOW here's the first of MANY whump tastes you'll get. Patrick Stump, the singer/cutie of the band, gets kidnapped, tied to a chair, has his hand CHOPPED OFF and mailed to his bandmate/best friend Pete Wentz, then gets tied down and utterly tortured by women who are laughing at his misery the entire time, getting prodded and stabbed by tools for... well, you'll see. By the end of the video, Pete and the other two members of FOB (Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley) have been kidnapped by these mysterious women too, with Pete specifically getting kidnapped by the blonde woman he was in bed with when Patrick's hand got delivered to him. If you enjoy cute boys getting tied down, covered in blood, and writhing around like worms while getting tortured... well you'll enjoy all of YBC but specifically you'll enjoy this!! I did :D! The war is won, before it's begun, release the doves, surrender love...

Young Volcanoes: Good news, FOB has been reunited! Bad news, by the women who dismembered Patrick! And now all the band members are tied to chairs, hooked up to IVs full of god knows what types of drugs, and blindfolded (all except Patrick). They are then forced to drink, snort hard drugs, and are force fed Patrick's organs! Yep, all four of them are forced to eat their lead singer's guts, and are so fucking drugged up they don't even realize what's happening (and now you know what the women were doing to him in the last mv, and you even get a nice little shot of the hack job of stitching him back up)!! Patrick hallucinates everyone having fun, but of course, at the end, all of them are knocked out because of the drugs. Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?

Alone Together: This is the song the OG propaganda mentioned, and for good reason. All four of them are shipped off into little personalized torture rooms, and, well, tortured! Pete is able to break out and even steals the hook from the girl who was torturing him, but little does he know that'll be his own undoing... also, in general, this song has some whumpy elements, specifically the line "my heart is like a stallion/they love it more when it's broke-in"... but notice how easy it is to hear "broke-in" as "broken"! At the end of the video, Pete is at least able to find Patrick (Joe and Andy have NOT been having a good time, either!! But sadly, they aren't found by Pete, but Pete DOES find Big Sean), and is even able to attach the hook to the stump (ha!) where his hand used to be. But something is clearly wrong with Patrick now. His eyes are yellow, and as the song ends, we hold on him, sneering and twitching. This is the road to ruin - and we're started at the end...

The Mighty Fall: First off if you say this is the worst song off of SRAR I will hunt you for sport. OKAY ANYWAYS, chronologically this comes after MSKWYDITD, and yeah, the four guys are the members of FOB. Pete is able to free himself with Patrick's new hook hand, and is able to get the other three out while Pete is hacking up a lung from the fire they just barely escaped. But they're not done getting their shit rocked yet. A gang of children show up (the leader being the kid Patrick waved at right before he was kidnapped back in the Phoenix MV), and proceed to separate them and beat the living shit out of them. The leader kid who's chasing Patrick plays something on a boombox... which triggers Patrick to go yellow-eyed again (from here on out i'll call it "going Youngblood" or "Youngblood self"). It was confirmed in the commentary track that ANY music would cause him to go Youngblood. And knowing Patrick IRL fucking loves to create/compose music... yeah! Take something he loves and turn it into something that drives him insane!! I'm normal!! And also the irl parallel you could draw to his solo career doing the same thing to him (on a less uh Dramatic level but you know)!!! Ouch!!!! Big Sean is able to save Patrick, but at the cost of his own life (and a killer rap verse... HELL YEAH I'M A DICK GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU). Oh, how the mighty fall in love...

Just One Yesterday: The last vestiges of comfort you're gonna get for a WHILE. The four are separated, getting even more beaten up, Pete vomits up a snake, Andy gets his shit rocked by a homeless guy, Joe has to use white sheets as a makeshift tourniquet bc his leg got fucked up in The Mighty Fall MV, and Patrick is picked up by a kind stranger (hi Foxes! you have a very pretty voice! PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!). And finally, finally we get a hope spot. Fall Out Boy is reunited (the part where Andy just grabs onto Patrick's arm, in disbelief they're both alive... augh!!! AUGH!!!!), and for a moment, it seems they've been delivered to a hospital... before Foxes' eyes go completely black, looking at Patrick... and turns on the radio. She's able to trigger the Youngblood. And now Patrick is gone. The other three scramble into the hospital, Patrick not far behind, determined to kill them to stop the noise in his head. If Heaven's grief brings Hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...

Where Did The Party Go: Patrick, now fully consumed by the Youngblood brainwashing, is now stalking his bandmates in a hospital. Patrick is seeing visions of the hospital as an abandoned party, Andy has to painfully disinfect the wounds he's gotten, Pete is able to call for the police, and Joe... oh, poor Joe. He barricades himself into a room, but not well enough. Patrick finds him, and kills him, slitting his throat with the hook hand, showing no remorse at all... until Andy and Pete find them. The Youngblood wears off, and Patrick looks to what he's done, and is horrified at what he's done to his friend. And, bad news for him, the police are here, ready to arrest the murderer. All Andy and Pete can do is watch as tears roll down Patrick's eyes. And for the extra IRL context, this was the first song written for the album that made Pete and Patrick realize they had to get FOB back together... so lets match that with a music video where the member who helped get the band together in the first place dies. By the hands of the kid he found. Let's fade away together, one dream at a time...

Death Valley: Joe gets... uh, a little comfort? I mean, he thinks he's getting sent to heaven but goes to hell, buuuuut I think doing drugs in rock and roll hell with Tommy Lee is actually a pretty sweet deal, better than the deal the other three got! Pete and Andy are being interrogated while Patrick is in a jail cell. We find out that the cult that kidnapped them, Silence the Noise, is lead by Pete's girlfriend from WAAAAY back in the Phoenix MV, Courtney Love. And at the end of the MV... Patrick is bailed out of jail by Silence the Noise. They have him again. And this time, they're not gonna let him walk out until he's fully under their control. 'Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you...

Rat a Tat: Silence the Noise has Patrick, and they utterly brainwash him, A Clockwork Orange style, with electroshock stimulation to keep him from looking away or closing his eyes, until there is nothing left. Patrick Stump does not exist anymore. Only the Youngblood, pliant under the control of Silence the Noise, tasked to destroy what he once loved; music. Andy dies at the hands of the cult, and now Pete has to protect a briefcase, the thing that got them into this mess, and keep it away from Silence the Noise, all while his best friend hunts him down. Are you ready for another bad poem?

Miss Missing You: THE WHUMPIEST OF THE WHUMP. What if we were best friends but you've been driven insane and I know the only way to stop you is to kill you and it was my fault you got into this mess and I was the one who gave you the weapon that will be my own undoing. What if we both died at the same time. What if we died, both of us failing the mission we had before us. What if that was a reference to one of their first music videos. What if this song was originally written for Patrick's solo album but he realized it was more of a Fall Out Boy song so it was scrapped until now. What if there's a legit argument to be made that half the lyrics for this song was written by Patrick. What if we were both boys. Grips walls, yeha i'm normal. If you don't watch ANY other music vid, watch Miss Missing You. Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.

Save Rock And Roll: And our final track gives us a final bit of comfort. Patrick is able to overcome the Youngblood, and gets into heaven, where all of FOB is finally, finally reunited. God (aka Elton John) gives them new instruments and brings them back to earth, so they can do what they love; play music together. Which just so happens to release people from the control of Silence the Noise! But, because we can't have nice things, a cult within Silence the Noise got a hold of the briefcase, and summoned a spirit that starts to kill everyone. FOB stands together, and blasts the evil spirit, the blood coming up to the gates of heaven and covering Elton John in it. And... that's how it ends. No true resolution. Just Elton John covered in blood, as the song fades out. Oh, no! Wherever I go, go! Trouble seems to follow! I only plugged in to save rock and roll!

UH. AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH. but i really wanted to express just how much WHUMP they manage to fit into less than fifty minutes, all backed by an amazing album colored by the three years they were apart. colored by how they grew, colored by how bad the hiatus was for Patrick specifically, colored by how Confessions of a Pariah got Pete to reach out to help him, and this album came out of it, Fall Out Boy came back out of it, and now here we are, ten years later, with the title track being performed every night for their concert, with all the band singing the final lines together, and the line you are what you love, not who loves you hitting every single night.

SORRY. LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY. thanks for letting me rant.

[loquarocoeur]

Lestappen Masterlist

All the fic links with shortened summaries, please check full summaries and tags on ao3

Yours Verse

All independent fics with the top Charles, bottom Max dynamic . They can, but don't have to be read as the same universe

Yours (54k words)

Read the tags for kinks

Charles looks much too satisfied as Max leans back against the door, one eyebrow tugging up as he asks, “Do you want to fight?”

“Of course I want to fight.”

Charles only looks slightly amused. “Then fight.”

"Stop fucking telling me what to do!" Max yells.

Charles cocks his head. "What, because it turns you on?"

Alternatively:

Max doesn't want to like Charles, but Charles makes that really fucking difficult sometimes

Love Languages:

En Français (5k words)

Max secretly starts learning French and Charles catches him doing a Duolingo lesson and has a bit of a crisis about how Max sounds speaking French

In het Nederlands: (9k words)

Charles makes it his life's mission to learn Dutch, butchering Max's native language and breaking his eardrums in the process, but then Charles calls him schatje and Max can't handle it even a little bit

Il Calore: (7k words)

Max is melting in the Italian summer heat and Charles' way of cooling him down is to get him hot and bothered.

Down Deep (11k words)

I don't even know honestly

Settle Down (11k words)

Sometimes Max just needs a little help to calm down.

Pretty (6k words)

Charles makes sure Max knows that he is very pretty

Resolutions (8k words)

One time Max is mad, one time Charles is mad, one time they're both mad, and one time nobody was actually mad, they just needed to fuck

Sweet (7k words)

Max is an absolute brat and gets what he deserves

Red Yellow Green (7k words)

Safewords are used, feelings are had, they get through it as usual

Pushing Buttons (14.5k words)

Charles gets them a remote controlled vibrator

Vincere (10k words)

Charles wins in Monza. There are two religions in Italy, but nobody worships Charles Leclerc quite like Max Verstappen

Easy Access (15k words)

Charles fucks Max in a skirt

Fluff:

Puppy Eyes (6k words)

Leo and Charles are carbon copies of each other who team up to weasel anything their hearts desire out of Max. But turns out puppy eyes work on Charles too.

Black Cat Behaviour (5k words)

Max has no idea just how much he behaves like his cats

High Maintenance (5k words)

Charles is really high maintenance. Max is less annoyed about it than he pretends to be

Wisdom (2.5k words)

Charles definitely says some things when he wakes up from wisdom teeth surgery

The Art of Seeking Attention (6.5 k words)

Max being forced to ask for attention and hating every minute of it

The Domestication of Max Verstappen (4k words)

Charles having the girlfriend effect on Max

I Love You's (9.5k words)

Max is very bad at saying 'I love you', but he actually tells Charles he loves him all the time in his own ways

Our Dog (5k words)

Max Verstappen and the dog he said he didn't want

That random oneshot I wrote:

The Cat Conspiracy (5k words)

Charles comes over one time and the cats decide they like him better than Max and then he keeps coming over and being all cute with them and calling them baby and Max can't decide whether he's more jealous of Charles or of the cats.

[winxwannabe]

Winx Season 9/Reboot Leaks

Okay here's the tea: earlier today a twitter user by the name of Cataclysm_Power started posting a video they claimed was from the new Winx season/reboot. When pressed for further information, they linked to a telegram chat with what appeared to be assets from Rainbow (17 screenshots/2 videos). After some C-grade internet sleuthing, I am here to give my (worthless and possibly wrong) opinion on which ones I think are real and fake.

A note before we jump in: I'm not posting full images on my blog, because again I do think some of these are real and if the leaker is to be believed, they hacked Rainbow to get them. You can look yourself through the telegram link, or others who've posted them on the Winx Club tag. I also think the leaker themselves is scammy because they've tried charging for Miraculous leaks before. Do NOT give them any money if they ask.

Real: Bloom, Stella, and Icy's asset sheets, Bloom Full Body Pose

A lot of these leaks are 3d modelling assets, and these 3 are the ones I'm totally convinced are real.

The biggest clue of their validity is the bottom banner. All 3 sheets have them, along with the same episode code and notes in Italian. They're all also linked to the same person: Pasqualino Masciulli is Rainbow's 3D modelling supervisor, and has been with the company for at least 9 years. He's done videos on Rainbow's youtube channel as well, using his shortened first name Lino. My main point is that's way too niche for someone to fake just to make some convincing leaks, and it would make sense for the assets to be tied to him.

Likewise, there's a full-body frame post of Bloom with fucking ugliest denim leg warmers credited to a g.riccobono. This is likely Giulio Riccobono, who is listed on Linkedin Italy as a Rainbow employee.

Probably Real: Tecna's asset sheet, Bloom's detailed asset sheet

Both of these are likely real but have weird things about them that make me pause. Bloom's more detailed asset sheet is missing the name, date and episode reference on it, and the notes are in English. Tecna's is missing the bottom banner entirely, and there's some weird cutting around her head that makes it look like someone hastily made a png and stuck it on there.

Unsure: Computer File Tab, MD Concept Photos, Videos

There's a screenshot of a folder with both 2D and 3D assets of all the girls. in the files. I'm not sure if this is from a computer at Rainbow or the hacker's personal folder, so it goes in unsure. I do think most of the assets in it are real - it's low res but the eyes on the 2D sketches are so similar to the ones on Rainbow's newer images of the girls I think they have to be connected.

There are also some full body concept photos for Bloom, Aisha, and Stella. They all look pretty legit (as they're updated version of images we've already seen) but Stella's has other images for 'possible pallets' included. She's the only one with it and the images look like they came from a flash dress-up game, and it gives me pause.

Lastly, the teaser videos of Bloom are probably real based on the outfit, animation and that stupid fucking Bloom shelf being in the background, but I'm placing it in 'unsure' because of the bandicam.com logo burned into the top. If it really came from Rainbow and everything else was downloaded, there was no reason for the hacker to not get the raw file. I think it's real, but I don't know if it came from Rainbow.

Something Ain't Right: Group Shot

What gives me pause in the fully-rendered group shot (even though its shown in the computer file tab) is it shows transformation we haven't seen teased and has a 'Lorem Ipsum' placeholder text. Aisha's hair also looks like it was done with AI - the back of her wings clip through the hair, and parts of it look copy-pasted. I'm stupid, it's the end of her braids. The 'Lorem Ipsum' thing still stands, but I'm re-filing this under 'unsure.'

Probably Fake: Darcy and Damien's asset sheets

I'm showing things from here on out because I'm so convinced it's fake please let me be right. Unlike the other character sheets, the ones for Darcy and 'new character' Damien have no bottom banner, are marked as 'Winx Club Season 9' with an outdated Winx logo, and have notes written completely in English. Darcy's has a bit of 3D modelling, but it's too different from Icy's. Maybe they're super early concepts for Darcy, but Damien...go home, buddy.

You're in the Wrong Place: Rainbow Pants Girl

I'm convinced this girl is from a different show and was saved to the 'Winx Club' folder by accident. Different clothing, hair, and shading. May you end up somewhere better than this reboot, Mystery Girl.

[nereidof40k]

Lenore now has a backstory written up.

TW: Nostramo fucked-up-ness.

One sunless winter day in 884.M30 as the Imperium of Man counts time, on the dreary world of Nostramo, two children were born. As happens all over the galaxy.

(Later estimated to be 980.884.M30 by Imperial archivists)

These two would turn out to be linked. The first, in City’s Edge, Hive Quintus, was the later to be infamous Jago Sevatarion. Unaware of his checkered future. But what he had was a mother.

The second, in a towering gothic castle outside of Nostramo’s teeming hive cities was a blonde girl saddled with the name of Anastasia Eleanor Victoria Erzsebet Voronina. (Later preferred the shortened form Lenore.)

Unusually decanted from a Drukhari cloning vat by one of the feared Haemonculi. According to the wishes of one Count Vladimir Alexander Gabriel Voronin, the lord of the castle. Who had decided on this course of action due to the sheer impossibility of finding a wife lacking in the curiosity to go poking around his secret rooms.

A man cannot be spending his life on lavish weddings when there is work to do, as he would remark.

His daughter was mostly left to be raised by servants until she was old enough to be of use in his schemes.

What neither the Drukhari nor the Count knew was that the wrong infant had been delivered.

Having more genetic material than needed, the Drukhari had made several infants. While this girl certainly had the Count’s genes, the other parent was the Primarch Sanguinius. Moreover, the Haemonculus had infused this child with a shard of the Aeldari God of War, wrath, destruction and murder, Kaela Mensha Khaine. Khaine the Bloody Handed. Making her 1/3 Nostraman, 1/3 Primarch and 1/3 Aeldari.

Illicit substances may have been involved in the confusion, as well as an inability to tell mon’keigh infants apart.

Lenore, being who she was, frequently slipped away from home to explore. On one such trip, she met the young boy Jago Sevatarion. Who found her takedown of a would be mugger to be intensely interesting.

Nostraman men seem to be genetically incapable of resisting women capable of killing or grievously wounding them.

One trip because many, the pair becoming inseparable.

On one such occasion, Jago presented his friend with a knife, the handle fashioned from the arm bone of a would be trafficker, known to deal in slaves. (Count Voronin was not best pleased to lose one of his associates)

This was the last time the two met, as the Count had become aware that his dear daughter had been straying outside his castle. Fortunately for Sevatarion, and the Night Lords’ future common sense, he had not found his daughter’s suitor. Nor that she had one.

Upon Lenore’s return, she was thrown in the dungeon, until the Drukhari could be contacted to force compliance. (Maybe he should have asked the Imperium, as the Astartes indoctrination would have done the job. He was out for blood, though.)

As a result of the Haemonculus’ tender mercies, the implanted shard of Khaine triggered, fully fusing with Lenore to become something more. Going on a godly killing rampage through the burning castle, Lenore came across her uncle, the Count’s twin brother, Adrian Mihail Wilhelm Voronin. He had long desired to wed his brother’s daughter, trying to force her compliance at sword point. Leading to Lenore getting her throat slit. Not that it would kill her at this point. But it was clear that she needed to train to master her abilities.

Purposely falling from the castle buttresses into the moat infested with carnivorous fish, Lenore let her uncle believe she had passed. Fleeing Nostramo, she found it difficult to hide, due to the changes wrought by the merger with a part of an Aeldari god. Additionally the Drukhari were pursuing her as well, finally having realized where their misplaced weapon had been.

The pointed ears were somewhat possible to hide, but the giant black feathered wings from Sanguinius were a different matter. Requiring Lenore to cut her own wings off on a regular basis to avoid detection. Especially after she joined the Great Crusade as an Archivist. The wings always grow back within a short time. But she could not afford to stand out. Not without allies.

[subway-boss-jericho]

Queuing posts for most of my AUs! Check out this Masterpost! (Disclaimer! - Please don't comment about their iconic knife bangs! I left them off this reference to keep their faces fully visible.)

oh my god what the fuck is ingo doing in pokemon mystery dungeon

yes that is the full title no i am not going to shorten it you can't make me

-Premise- You've seen the classic PMD au before- Your beloved human main character/s get turned into pokemon and slapped onto an expedition team. However. This is not every other PMD au. When Ingo falls to, what in canon would have been Hisui, instead he finds him self on the outskirts of Treasure Town from Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky. Not only is he human, he's the only human any of these pokemon has ever seen.

Many a shenanigan await as Ingo tries to cope with his lost memory while avoiding getting curb stomped by dungeon pokemon. With his status as a man of myth and his extremely dangerous access to the pokéballs he kept on his person, Officer Magnezone enlists him into the guild as a way to keep an eye on him. Chatot luckily knows human language, but it's going to take a lot of effort for him to make a good impression on the people of Treasure Town!

-Noteworthy Points- Emmet is in this AU! He does not show up for a while, but you can see on the reference that he is a Tynamo :] Because I couldn't help myself. Also! This reference shows Ingo at Gold rank, but he does need to work his way up through the guild normally! He ranks up pretty quick because he specializes in catching criminal pokemon! (Literally!)

-Links- Currently none! I will update this post with links to comics/art/writing if/when I post any!